A Perfect Circle
by ophelia-syndrome
Summary: Deep down inside of me I always wanted to be stopped.
1. An ordinary day

I know it's been a long time since I last posted anything, but here is the sequel to _Against All Odds._

As always, I hope to be able to update on a weekly basis. At the beginning that shouldn't be a problem, but I can't promise the same for the later chapters, but I'll try my best. That said, I hope you'll enjoy reading this. Comments and feedback are much appreciated and thank you for your patience.

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><p><em><strong>A Perfect Circle<strong>_

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><p><em>Tonight's rain <em>_had left the world a desolate place. The ground was littered with puddles and the air tingled with the sickly sweet smell of ozone. It quickly got to your head and left it feel funny, almost light, defying the gravity of their predicament._

_Trapped beneath a brooding sky, billowing with massive black clouds, hanging so low that you could almost touch them, the two shinobi were trying to find their way to an unknown destination. It was pure despair that kept them going. They both knew that it was hopeless, but weren't ready yet to say that out loud-_

_- not in front of the other._

_Without a plan, without any clues, without anything, how were they ever going to find him? It was hard enough to evade __any potential enemy, but they had fought too many battles already and although it was war, they had another priority. They couldn't afford to fight now, not even when nothing short of the world was at stake. Did that make them cowards?_

_**Traitors**__?_

_It wouldn't be the first time that they were given that title…_

_There were enough people fighting to save the world, but only the two of them were there to save __**their**__ world._

_If anything that made them selfish and hadn't Sasuke taught her all these years ago that being selfish was not a bad thing? She'd like to ask him to repeat that. She'd like him to tell her anything to comfort her and take away her fear. She'd like him to say anything at all. But the day had gnawed at his spirits. It changed him and she was afraid to find out how much. She has seen enough already to justify her anxious state of mind._

_Almost stealthily, __she stole a brief side-glance at the dark-haired man walking a step ahead of her-__**always**__ a step ahead of her, though it felt much farther than that. Right now even the clouds with their orange-shaded bellies seemed closer than he did._

_A weary sigh passed her lips, but was drowned out by the sound of the water splashing under their feet. The dirty puddles reflected inverted, sallow images of them, like misshapen giants set against the darkness of the sombre sky._

_Some were dyed red._

_The stark landscape gave only little indication of all the atrocities it witnessed. It were the details that revealed that the deadly wheels of war had already rolled over this barren wasteland. Maybe it was the war that turned it into such._

_There were only rocks and boulders everywhere, but not a single tree or any grasses, except for three neatly trimmed cypresses, growing on a shallow hill in the distance, like a black trident. Wasn't there even a fence around? And a low wall?_

_She quickly turned her attention elsewhere, before she could think these thoughts to an end. They had seen enough already and she didn't think she could take much more. This war proved even crueller than she had imagined, which, if you thought about it, was saying quite something._

_Then at length, the terrain changed and they came across an actual road, lined by actual trees with autumn-coloured leaves and in the distance she could see a pale orange strip of skyline, just below the massive clouds. _

_She exhaled in a sense of untenable relief, but nearly choked on her breath as Sasuke stopped abruptly and in the same movement drew his katana and pushed her to the side of the road none too gently. She didn't ask what this was all about. Instead, she sought cover behind a tree from where she watched Sasuke assume a fighting stance, when she was sure he was in no condition to fight yet. Then she let her eyes wander farther up the road, until they ca__me to rest on a dark silhouette. Only the pallor of his skin distinguished the man from the shady background. That and the bright red clouds, scattered all across his cloak._

_**Akatsuki**__**!**_

_She nearly bit off her tongue in shock, but at least she didn't scream._

_They were a dying breed, the Akatsuki, and yet that didn't keep them from dominating this war; it didn't change anything about the fact that Sasuke was not up to them. They had to run!_

"_Sas-"_

"_Stay quiet and suppress your chakra," he hissed and glared at her from the corner of his eye. The bad eye, the sight of which made her heart sink down into troubled waters. Could he even see his opponent?_

"_But-"_

_He only narrowed his eyes, making them as sharp as kunai - she could literally feel them cut through her vocal chords and she could no longer speak. Then he turned his face away and marched on, walking straight towards the enemy who was already waiting for him. As there were only a few metres left between them he stopped a little too suddenly. His katana slowly sank down, until its gleaming tip hung just above one of the dark brown puddles. A moment later it grazed the smooth surface, sending concentric ripples over the murky water, clashing against his shoes. She had no idea what was going on there until she heard the other person speak._

"_It's been a long time, little brother."_

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><p><strong>1. An ordinary day<strong>

It was a calm day, as could be expected of a place that was inhabited by nothing but animals. The sounds of nature, the singing of birds, the rustling of leaves and the babbling of the numerous small brooks did not belie the impression of perfect silence. There was a slight disturbing factor, though; the constant hissing and buzzing of headphones, carrying ghost voices across the vast terrain.

"This is Sakura, arrived at point A."

"Sasuke, I'm at point B."

"…"

"Here is Sai, I have the airspace covered."

"…"

"Naruto?"

"… Here is Naruto, found point C."

_Found?_

"Alright. Any traces of the target?"

"Nothing here."

"No."

"Here neither."

"I couldn't find a trace of-"

"-okay. (_Hey! I wasn't finished!_) We'll move north to the fishing village and question people there."

"Understood."

"…err… yeah. Understood."

And with that the buzzing died out, leaving the soundscape to nature again.

It has been a more than fruitless and not to forget annoying mission for Team 7 up to now. Since four days they were combing through the Land of Tea, without any lead but some unverified rumours, claiming that a person of similar characteristics to their target has been spotted near the coast in the south of the country. They've been there, but no one remembered having seen her and had she really passed that place they would have remembered. She wasn't the kind of person who went by unnoticed… In the course of the past three months, they had gone on several missions with the intention of retrieving her, but until now they had all ended the same way: she was gone without a trace.

Sighing, Sasuke commenced his way to their meeting point, holding back his complaints and storing them somewhere in the back of his mind where no one could hear them. He fully trusted in Naruto's big mouth to do the job for him, but Sasuke would remain quiet and keep his annoyance invisible from the outside, which didn't make it any less feasible to him. But he had come to be a dutiful shinobi. He was given a mission and so he did it. He had messed up enough in the past, so he was really in no position to voice any of the complaints that were seething just below his skin.

It's been about four months since they returned to Konoha and against expectation he didn't regret this decision as much as he had thought he would. The advantages clearly outweighed the disadvantages, or at least he tried to tell himself they did. There were all these stupid missions and duties and he couldn't help feeling an odd pang of discomfort whenever he walked up and down Konoha's streets. But it kept his family safe (hopefully) and so it was a rather small price to pay, although it refrained him from spending as much time with them as he would like to. That was probably what bothered him the most.

Especially because what they were doing here was a complete waste of time. So far all the missions they had done had been pretty much of a joke. They were anything but a tracking squad and yet here they were, scouring the woods in search for a person that didn't want to be found. All they did were simple C and at times also B-rank missions (but he had a hunch Tsunade only called them that to keep them relatively placated), pretty much the same things they had also done right after becoming Genin, but then that's what they were. At least he and Naruto were still Genin, whereas Sakura was a Chunin and Sai even an ANBU. He had thought about becoming a Jounin. Actually he didn't care about something as trivial as ranks, but if it meant he could go on somewhat more exciting missions that didn't leave him thinking _why am I doing this_?, then he would have done it. However before becoming a Jounin he would first have to take the Chunin exam again and he really didn't feel like beating up a bunch of kids.

Naruto, however, didn't seem to have any problems with that. The blonde tried his best to convince him to take the Chunin exam, so they could do it together and then their whole squad would be levelled up, so they couldn't put them off with lame missions any longer. He had a feeling though that their ranks wouldn't change anything about that; what it all came down to was that they were a team with a Jinchuuriki. In the past they had acted the same way; only giving them missions to keep them content and not because they really needed them of all people to do them. When Tsunade had tried to convince him to stay in the village, she had said they needed his abilities. Up to now he hasn't seen much of it though. They regarded him as a card they kept up their sleeves until it came to a case of emergency and even now people would like to believe it would never come to it.

An unrealistic wish.

Even without any proof, no one really doubted that Uchiha Madara was still alive. Same as no one doubted the impact his plan would have on the whole ninja world. Nobody really knew just what he had in mind, not even Sasuke, in spite of his brief alliance with his ancestor, but it was undeniably something horrendous. Something that would bring a great change to the world – needless to say that it wouldn't be a change for the better.

"Sasuke! Over here!" Naruto hollered once he caught sight of his team-mate. It had taken Sasuke about half an hour to reach the small village from the point he had been stationed and Naruto, Sakura and Sai had already assembled here. So now only Kakashi was missing.

Who'd have thought?

"Don't scream in my ear!" Sakura pushed his shoulder, not exactly lightly, but then Naruto wasn't made of glass, he had survived worse treatment than this and a lot of it at her hand.

"I take it you didn't find a trace of the target either," Sai remarked and detached his eyes from the wailing Uzumaki, receiving a nod in response.

Just as always when he was among people there was a smile on Sai's face, but even so his voice was blank and there was just something about his expression that made you assume he was hiding a dagger behind his back and just waited for a moment of inattention to put it to use. There was no relaxed atmosphere with him around. None of the three original members of Team 7 regarded him as a full-fledged part of their squad and Naruto made a point of letting him know that. Not that Sai took any interest in the more or less subtle displays of hostility…

"This is soo boring…" Naruto drawled and crossed his arms behind his head, his azure blue eyes drawn to the equally coloured sky. "It's all your fault teme."

"Naruto," Sakura chided with a warning note in her voice. She often felt like a kindergartener when she was with the Uzumaki, especially now with Sai in their team, but also Sasuke. In spite of how hard Naruto had tried to make sure he'd stay in Konoha and how thrilled he had been as they had decided that the Uchiha would be of greatest use to the village when he resumed acting as a ninja; in his old team under Kakashi's tutelage and of course with his old team-mates to make sure he'd stay on the right track- in spite of all the excitement, now that they were in the same team again, they fell back into old patterns and regarded each other as rivals. Naruto pretty openly, Sasuke rather not, but then that's how it's always been and at first Sakura had been really glad to see her team glued back together as though nothing ever happened, except for them growing up. Now however it was beginning to wear on her nerves and Sai contributed a considerable part to that.

"But it's true," Naruto chose to ignore the warning in Sakura's voice and glared at the Uchiha instead. "If it wasn't for your… your… your what do I know with her, they would have sent someone else."

He did have a point there, but what Naruto failed to see was that whatever other mission they would have been given instead, would have been no more exciting than this one and that was solely Naruto's fault. Although that was a rather harsh sentiment; after all Naruto had not chosen to have the Kyuubi sealed inside of him and he had not chosen either to have a criminal organisation hunt for him in their quest for power. That was the reason why the Uzumaki, and accordingly his team as well, were not given any missions that might entail dangers.

Everyone in their team knew about it, except for Naruto that is. It would have been easy to tell him about it. It would have surely shut him up for the time being, but afterwards… Naruto wasn't exactly known for his reserved attitude and he wasn't one to just swallow injustice and so it would definitely lead to trouble sooner or later and who knew what Konoha's higher-ups would then do to keep him at bay? If it wasn't for Tsunade, they would have most likely locked him in some sort of underground dungeon the second they had gotten to know about Akatsuki's aims. They had enough trouble as it was; no need to add fuel to the flame.

"And what is this, _what do I know_?" Sai asked, "Has there been something between you and Karin?"

"Sai!" Sakura cut in, her cheeks slightly flushed, but Sai paid her no heed and kept his slitted eyes focused on the Uchiha.

"I don't see how this is any of your business," Sasuke said coolly.

"Evading a clear answer usually equals admission. But I thought you were with Sayuri… so Karin, too, huh?" Sai smiled, which made him appear even sneakier. "How about you Naruto-kun? How many women did you have again?"

"Wha-WHAT? What has that to do with anything now?" Naruto stammered, his face flashing red like an alarm bell, as he inevitably remembered his first kiss - a not so special moment between him and one of the present people. Unfortunately he wasn't talking about Sakura.

"So none, I see." Sai nodded knowingly, while Naruto was too stunned still to know how to react, but you could almost hear the gears working in his skull, slowly clicking a line of action together for him, but Sai decided not to wait for him to do anything. "How about you, Sakura-san? Have you ever met someone who wasn't scared off by your temper? How are you oriented anyway? I mean the signals you are giving are not exactly clear and-"

-at this point Sai was forced to interrupt his speech by Sakura's clenched fist.

Even after the at least twentieth time, he still hadn't learned his lesson, concerning how to interact with his fellow human beings, especially if one of them was a rather quick tempered young lady, who reacted to any form of insult, especially concerning her looks, in about the same way as Chôji reacted when hearing the bad f-word.

"Serves you right, Sai!" Naruto gloated and watched the dark-haired man struggle back to his feet, before he patted the dirt off his clothes.

"This is exactly what I was talking about." He ran the back of his hand across his jaw, flinching slightly as he brushed the spot Sakura had hit. "You punch like a guy, you-"

"SAI!" Sakura barked, her face contorted into a frightening grimace. Sai had to be weary of life; he neither flinched nor did he at least raise his hands to cover his face from Sakura's fist, which was again approaching him at a rapid speed, charged with chakra most likely. There wasn't even a trace of fear in his eyes.

"Sakura-chan, stop!" Naruto held her back, Regardless of how little friendly feelings he harboured for the new guy, he wouldn't just stand by and watch Sakura kill a member of their team – and from the look on her face she really was out to kill. Sai has really had a point there, but Naruto would never admit that – _he_ certainly wasn't suicidal. "He isn't worth it!"

"Naruto! Back off!"

"What is going on here?" Kakashi finally decided to show up and planted himself right between the stoic Sai and the seething Sakura, who was still held in place by her team-mate. "Don't you think it's rather counterproductive for our mission when you make a scene here? People are already watching you."

"Huh?" Sakura stopped struggling in Naruto's grip, but her body was still rigid as she turned her head to take in the faces of the people surrounding them. Many were whispering to each other and most of them looked clearly scandalised, others merely amused but what they all had in common was that they turned their heads away whenever Sakura's emerald green eyes came upon them. In her frenzy, she had almost forgotten that there were people around them and she had behaved like a fury-–no, that's too feminine – a berserk! Embarrassing…

"Hmpf," the pink-haired kunoichi freed herself out of Naruto's arms and turned her back on the three men to hide her flushed face in an attempt at keeping what little dignity she had left, but thanks to her previous outburst it didn't feel like there was much to hold on to.

"Phew…" Kakashi sighed. It had taken long enough to bring some sort of harmony into his team and get them to work together, but now with Sai taking Sayuri's place they were back to zero and it was almost as bad now as it had been right after they had become Genin. The old team has been like this: Sasuke has been conceited, Sakura has been lovestruck, Naruto has been hyper and Sayuri has been quiet. Now however Sasuke was quiet, Sakura switched between being an ice-block and a volcano, Naruto was still hyper and Sai was provoking. A fatal mixture. At times Kakashi wondered if he had changed, too. He didn't think he had; by now he was probably too old for that.

"It'll probably be best if we take a short break to let the situation settle again, before we start questioning the people here."

"We're not gonna find her anyway," Sasuke said. There has been a reason why he had wanted Karin of all people in his team. She was an excellent sensor and intelligent as well. When she didn't want to be found, which she clearly didn't, then she wouldn't be found. They thought it was clever to send him on this mission, because they used to be in a team and Karin's interest in him hasn't exactly been a secret either, but Sasuke was of a completely different opinion. After what happened between them, he was probably the last person she wanted to see and whenever she only sensed him from a distance she probably took off at once.

They had nothing that carried her scent, so Kakashi couldn't even ask his dogs to track her and she was able to suppress her chakra, so there was basically no way to find her, other than walking from country to country and asking people if they had seen her. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack and all of this only because Tsunade hoped that Karin might be able to use her abilities in order to tell for sure if Madara was alive still or not and at best locate him even. Karin was good maybe, but Sasuke was sure that this exceeded her abilities. Same as Karin, Madara surely wouldn't be found when he didn't want it.

"Probably not," Kakashi agreed, "but a mission is a mission and we'll perform it as best as we can."

Right, shinobi are mere tools; they carry out whatever mission they are given to the satisfaction of their client, no matter how senseless it was, not to speak of ethically wrong. It was this very realisation that had often caused their childish and not to forget idealised image of a ninja to waver and turn into a mirage, abandoning them in the bleak reality.

It was a good thing, probably that they had long abandoned their fantasies.

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><p>Today would be perfect. Maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, considering that it was a simple training day, but even so it felt that way.<p>

Ever since the birth of her son, Sayuri had been forced to put her ninja career on hold and although she couldn't complain about boredom or having nothing to do, she was still really excited about something that used to be routine in her pre-mother life. It's not like she had only sat around idly in all that time; she had tried to get as much exercise as she could, but running a household which happened to be half a building site still, didn't leave much time for herself or basically anything that didn't include her home or her son.

Not even sleep had much of a chance, when her son decided to wake up with the first rays of the sun and it was summer, so that was really early. Since something around five o'clock (she had been too drowsy still to decipher the exact time) she was awake now. She had entertained Mikan until he had dozed off again, then she had taken a shower and afterwards she had fed him, which had led to her having to take another shower. He really wasn't fond of anything containing vegetables.

By eight o'clock she had been ready to go to bed again, solely the prospect of her first training session in nearly a year managed to keep her on her feet and the closer the hour crept the more adrenaline was fired through her inert synapses. The excitement was far better than a whole pot of coffee, which didn't keep her from drinking the energising beverage.

Sitting at the table in their neat but pretty empty kitchen, Sayuri indulged her coffee addiction, while Mikan was eager to have a sip of the bitter drink his mother was enjoying so much. He definitely took after his parents. Apart from his apparent liking for coffee and his stubborn nature, he also bore a striking resemblance to them. He had Sasuke's dark hair and it was just as dishevelled, too, and in the rare moments he wasn't smiling or laughing, he could also glower like his father did. He had her eyes, however, or almost, they were a shade darker, like the deepest spot of the ocean, and he had her small nose. The rest was rather hard to pinpoint; she couldn't say exactly he had her cheekbones or Sasuke's jaw line, but he still looked like them. It would be strange if he didn't…

As she was about in the middle of her liquid breakfast, the doorbell rang and she wasn't really surprised about the identity of her early visitor.

"Good-morning," she smiled at Neji and stepped to the side to let him enter.

"Morning," he nodded, "are you ready?"

"Almost. Just need to get my bag. Can you hold him a second?"

Without waiting for an answer, she passed Mikan to the Hyûga, who obviously wasn't keen on his task. He just wasn't good with babies and saw no need to do anything about that. Before he had a chance to protest however, Sayuri had already vanished next door, leaving him alone with the small boy. He held him like you'd hold a sack of potatoes to guess its weight and watched him blow bubbles with his mouth, smiling every time they burst. Well, at least he wouldn't have to act as an entertainer…

"Is Gai strict with his training?" He heard Sayuri call from the other room.

"How should I know?" Neji sighed. "He usually focuses his energy on Lee. Who knows what he'll be like with Lee on the sideline…"

It was always like this: Gai trained Lee, almost exclusively, while he and Tenten trained together; she used her weapons to attack him and school her aim and he used his Byakugan and clan-typical jutsu to either dodge or parry them. So what would Gai do when there was no Lee he could focus on? He had a feeling his sensei would be in a graveyard mood.

"Poor Lee…"

During the attack on Konoha he had broken his leg, but ambitious as he was, he hadn't waited the full time for it to heal and had started training almost as soon as he had been able to stand on his feet without wincing from the pain. This way the healing process had been slowed down and during their last mission he had overexerted himself, which ended with his old fracture breaking again. This meant he would again have to wait for his injury to heal, without being able to do much of anything in the meantime. About the worst possible thing that could happen to him, but his misfortune was her luck, because they had asked her to fill in for Lee during their training sessions. Wow, she felt terrible for even thinking that thought …

"Okay, I'm ready."

Sayuri returned to the corridor and couldn't help smirking as she saw that Neji still stood the same way she had left him, holding Mikan at a good distance to him. A distance he then even increased, while a disgusted look appeared on his face.

"I think he needs a diaper change," Neji grimaced and was glad as Sayuri finally took back her stinky son.

"Again?" Sayuri, too, grimaced and Neji turned positively green as he watched her sniff at his diapers, when he could still smell it from the doorway, where he had fled to, the second he had seen an opening.

"Phew, that was just a fart. He's clean," Sayuri sighed, before she started swaying a finger in front of Mikan's face. "You be glad that we're among ourselves. That would have been _quite_ embarrassing if there had been other people around, you little stinker." She grinned, but that grin soon crumbled as he again proved that he deserved that name.

"God what are you feeding him? Mashed beans?" Neji asked, already halfway out of the door.

"That isn't necessary. But imagine I had…"

"I'd rather not." Neji fought to maintain a neutral expression, but it was really hard. He had seen many things already: the aftermaths of battles, mutilated bodies and who knows what else – but fact is none of these things had managed to make his hair stand on end like this. Maybe because he was prepared then, whereas this sensory assault had definitely caught him off guard. He could only think of one thing that was worse and that was the smell of the curry of life, because it at once brought back memories of its taste and he'd rather not remember that, for fear that his taste buds would spontaneously combust.

"At least we're outdoors," Sayuri shrugged and put Mikan into his buggy, before they headed for the northern part of the village which was even now, nearly a year after Pain's attack entirely devoid of any buildings, which made it the perfect area for training, which is why it was often pretty full here, but there was enough space for the single squads not to get into each other's way.

It was still early as they reached their meeting point, but of course Gai and Lee were already there and they could also see some other people in the distance, but except for them it was empty. It sort of felt weird to come marching to the training grounds with a buggy in front of her; a clash of her old and her new life, ninja vs. mommy.

Suddenly she felt completely out of place.

"Neji! Sayuri-san!" Lee waved one of his crutches in the air, as though there was only the faintest possibility they could miss him if he didn't. Although he didn't take part in the training, he was still here to watch and he had proposed to look after Mikan while Sayuri took his place, which was why she was able to join them in the first place.

"Hey Lee, how are you doing?" Sayuri asked as she came to stand beside the dark-haired man, who was sitting in the dry grass, his plastered leg spread out in front of him, like a drift of snow in the summery scenery.

"Everyday better, thanks for your concern," Lee smiled and gave her a thumbs-up, never short of optimism, even in a situation such as this… "So little fella. The two of us are gonna enjoy ourselves here?"

"Thank you so much for looking after him."

Sayuri picked her son out of his buggy and passed him to Lee, before she spread out a small blanket on the ground right next to him.

"Never mind," he shrugged her off, before he focused his full attention on his protégé, holding him under his arms, so his feet were touching the ground. "By the time my leg has recovered I will have taught you to walk and then we'll take a walk through the village together."

Lee's teeth sparkled in the brightest toothpaste-advertisement smile and he would have probably put up his thumb again if he hadn't had his hands full with holding the little boy, who wasn't yet able to stand on his own.

"Watch out, he smells," Neji warned his team-mate and received a cool glare by Sayuri.

"Hey, stop saying my baby smells."

"You called him a stinker yourself."

"Yeah, but I'm his mother."

"Hm."

"Oh, the blossoms of youth." Gai appeared next to them and beamed at his students. "What a noble move of yours, Lee-kun, to use your time of recovery to attend to the future generation of Konoha shinobi. You truly are my student."

"Gai-sensei!" Lee sniffed with tears in his eyes, but he pulled himself together as Gai put a hand on his head and winked at him. "So everyone, let us begin today's training session! Let us all light the flame of youth especially bright on Lee's behalf!"

"What about Tenten?" Neji asked in a level voice, entirely immune to his sensei's vigour.

"Oh, right. Where is she?" Gai scanned the area with his eyes, while Neji wondered whether he had even noticed that the only female member of their team was missing. Had he seen Sayuri and thought it was Tenten? After all they were both girls… Did he even know who was in his team, except for Lee? He couldn't really imagine it, but then Gai had never yet ceased to surprise him and not necessarily in a positive way.

"I'm sorry for being late!" Tenten panted as she reached her team. "We've had some trouble at home…"

Her team just nodded quietly, obviously knowing what she was talking about, when Sayuri had no idea. She knew Tenten since nearly six years now, about as long as she knew Neji, and yet she didn't seem to know a thing about her. She had no idea where Tenten lived – neither in the old nor the new Konoha – she didn't know anything about her family; did she have brothers and sisters? Were her parents alive? Did she live alone? She only had a pretty shallow picture of her as a light-hearted girl with a passion for weapons – the very image she had, since the first time she had seen her.

"I take it we are complete now." Was there a question in his utterance? "Let us show this former student of my rival Kakashi our youthful ways."

Translation: Come over to the dark side, but actually it was the _former_ that bothered her the most.

"Yes," they agreed and while Tenten and Neji already strutted after their sensei, Sayuri staid behind to give Lee some instructions.

"There is something to eat and drink for him here in the bag. And there are some toys, too." She pulled out a small ball and gave it a shake to let it rattle, almost like a cat toy. "Help yourself to anything you want. I've brought along more than enough food."

"That is truly kind of you," Lee nodded politely.

"If something's the matter just call me, okay?"

"There won't be any need to. If I won't manage to look after him properly, I will read a dozen baby books while standing on my hands."

Lee and his self-motivation…

"Good…" Sayuri rose to her feet and took a deep breath, as she watched Lee fidget around with her son. At the beginning she has been a bit wary of leaving him in Lee's care, but his ambition turned him into a really good babysitter. But then why was it so hard for her to turn her back on her son and do what she had wanted to do for what felt like ages? She missed the training, missed being a ninja, now that she was a mother and yet it almost felt as though she would betray her son, if she just took that step back into her old life—

-a life he has been no part of.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" she asked anxiously, almost hoping for Lee to say no, but he wouldn't be Lee if he declined a challenge.

"Absolutely," he nodded, without any signs of doubt in his face. "There is nothing for you to worry about. I'll give my all to look after him."

Now how was she supposed to carry on wavering? Mikan was in good hands and they were waiting for her to finally start with their training. She would just pass her role as mother to Lee and enjoy this day as a ninja. It was only natural for her to want to flee the routine from time to time. No need to feel bad about it, she told herself, but couldn't really keep herself from feeling that way.

* * *

><p>"Kiba-kun…?" Ino drawled in the very kind of tone that always filled the Inuzuka with a sense of foreboding. Whenever she said his name in this way, it was usually followed by a <em>Can you? Will you?<em> and on rare occasions even combined with a P_lease_.

"No," he said resolutely, before Ino had a chance to voice her request and he already had a fairly good idea what it would be.

"You don't even know what I wanted to say." Ino narrowed her eyes and every bit of the former sweetness had left her voice.

"Well, let's see… could it, by any chance, be related to the fact that we just passed a baby store?"

"That might well be," she replied in crisp tones, trying to cover up her little defeat. "So?"

"No."

"What do you mean _no_?"

"We won't go there."

"Why not?"

"Because we don't have a baby and we meant to go eating, remember?"

"Yeah and the second we set foot in the store, all restaurants in the village will shut their doors and call it a day." The blonde rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest to show that she would not give in. Kiba however was fairly stubborn himself and he would not oblige to the wish of his rather domineering girlfriend without at least putting up a fight.

"Who knows? Better not tempt fate."

"You're such an idiot. I'm only talking about five minutes."

"Tze – your perception of five minutes and everyone else's go far apart."

"Whatever. C'mon now."

She tugged at his elbow, but Kiba reached for her hand to hold her back.

"I'm hungry, no – _we_ are hungry, right Akamaru?"

The huge white dog barked in response, while Ino merely rolled her eyes. Of course he turned to his dog when he felt like he was losing a debate.

"Kiba, what is your problem?" The Yamanaka snapped at him, not minding to keep her volume down, although they were in the middle of the street.

"If someone has a problem then it's you. You are obsessed, no- _possessed_ by the idea of being a mother. Ever since you saw Sayuri with her son you talk about nothing but babies."

"So what? We are a couple since two years and we live together, so why not take the next step?" Ino asked and nodded her head towards the baby store. "Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do," Kiba sighed and he already knew what came next.

"Then why don't you want a baby with me?" She wailed and looked with big eyes at her boyfriend, whose features softened ever so slightly. She just knew how to make use of her looks and her female charm in order to get what she wanted.

"That's not it. It's just nuts. We-"

"-Great. I want to have a family with you and you call me nuts," Ino pouted, without having to feign the hurt.

"Ino, we had that already…" Kiba exhaled wearily and looked up and down the street hoping for any kind of distraction, anything to ease the tense mood.

They've talked about this over and over and over again. He loved her, but she was just so annoying at the moment. Since months now she talked about nothing but babies. They were arguing almost every day and his nerves were beginning to wear thin. He loved her maybe, but at times he wondered if it was worth it.

"I'm not saying never… we're just too young. I'm not ready for a baby and, let's face it, neither are you-"

"-Excuse me? Who do you think you are to tell me if I'm ready or not?"

Damn. Judging from the look on her face and the tone in her voice he had only just dug his own grave.

"I'm just… well… you know… as long as we are still having these arguments… well-"

"-Kiba-kun!"

The Inuzuka turned around quickly to see who had called him and escape Ino's deadly glare and a monstrous flood of relief washed over him as he saw Hinata run his way.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." She bowed down politely, once she had reached them, but her breath still came in short rasps from having run so fast, which made Kiba hope she had come for something important.

"Hinata, what is it?" he asked, still with his back to his girlfriend.

"We are summoned to the Hokage immediately. I think we are given a new mission."

"I see." He tried to keep his excitement from creeping into his voice and more importantly he tried to keep the relief from showing on his face as he turned around to Ino again. "I fear I gotta go. Bye."

He leaned closer to kiss her goodbye, but Ino turned her face away and snorted.

The situation wasn't ideal, but at least it hadn't gotten nasty. And all thanks to his team-mate. Just now Hinata really appeared like a saviour to him.

* * *

><p>It didn't feel comfortable to come home and find the house empty. Knowing that it would stay that way made it even worse.<p>

It nourished the fear of the dark hours.

* * *

><p>It was a typical picture. Tsunade was sitting at her desk; a desk which was full of all sorts of documents, arranged in the standard disorder, which sure enough didn't facilitate the workload the Sannin had to cope with each and every day. Apart from all the paperwork there were the distributions of missions of course, something she much rather dealt with, seeing as it entailed at least a tinsy bit more of distraction and interpersonal contact than the mute and rather monotonous files.<p>

Even so she couldn't get the grave look off her face that had slowly taken over in the course of this already far too long and unexciting day, as she looked at the four persons she had summoned here.

"Took you long enough," she said after a prolonged moment of silence, in which she had done nothing but stare at the assembled team.

"But now we're here," Shiranui Genma, the new leader of Team 8, said casually. "So what is it you summoned us for?"

"I have a mission for you," Tsunade explained and folded her hands under her chin, scrutinising her opposites closely over her tangled fingers. "An S-rank mission."

"S-rank?" Kiba asked excitedly, while Hinata seemed rather uncomfortable about hearing this piece of information. Shino and Genma didn't let anything show, neither excitement, nor discomfort or basically anything that might imply that they had heard the Godaime at all.

"Yes," Tsunade nodded with a stern expression, "it's a secret mission, shared by several countries. In this scroll you'll find the location – that's all you need to know for the moment. Once you are there you'll be instructed by the present team."

"Why the secrecy?" Genma asked and shoved his senbon around in his mouth. He really seemed entirely unfazed by the situation, but then that's how they had gotten to know him, ever since he took over Kurenai's place. It has been called a temporary arrangement at first, but now they were with him since more than a year and it still didn't seem like there would be any changes. Kurenai was a single mother and her daughter was her top priority, but it's not like Genma was such a bad pick – he just wasn't Kurenai.

"Because this mission exceeds Konoha's affairs – it is a collaboration of many different villages – keep that in mind. Even once you're back you are not allowed to talk about it to no one – and leave your headbands here, this scroll is all you need as identification and once you're there, put on these masks." Tsunade opened a drawer and pulled out four entirely identical masks, which resembled those of ANBU, only that they were entirely white. "Keep in mind that you represent Konoha Gakure in front of all the other nations – failure is not an option."

"Yes," they agreed all at once, in the confident tone that was expected at this point, but secretly they all wondered what kind of a mission they were about to do. It didn't happen often that they were dismissed without knowing anything about their task. Tsunade usually made a point of having them well-prepared before sending them out. All the secretiveness was definitely unsettling.

…

…


	2. Missions

**2.****Missions**

Shikamaru was a guy who loved to watch the clouds.

He loved lying back in the grass, feeling it tickle his ankles. Loved inhaling its scent, especially when it's freshly mown. He loved bathing in the mild morning sun, seeking cover from the glaring afternoon sun under the foliage of trees and admiring the way the sun of the evening painted the sky in an impressive array of colours. He loved it when it weren't voices, but the rustling of leaves or the singing of birds which filled his ears.

But what he loved the most was letting his so-called genius mind drift off with the clouds; flee from his everyday life.

It was early evening already and he had spent the last eight hours, sitting with his and Ino's father inside a simple room with only two windows, which were both facing the bleak wall of the house on the other side of the street. If he wanted, he could leap right into it without the slightest bit of effort. A nice view as you can imagine.

There was a plant on the sideboard next to the door, not quite a living thing really and it was too small to brighten up the rest of the office, which was mainly stuffed with all sorts of books, scrolls and documents. They were everywhere; in the shelves lining the walls, on the big table which took up one half of the room and some were scattered on the floor as well. Hardly any light came through the windows and so the office was doused in the artificial glare of the overhead lights, which made it impossible to tell night from day. It did well, however, in illuminating all the dust, every crumb of food and the ring-shaped coffee stains on both the tabletop, same as some of the papers.

_Chaos_ was the first word that came to your mind when you entered this room.

All the more surprising was it that this was the head office of Konoha Gakure's new security squad. They were supposed to fight the chaos following the attack on the Hidden Leaf and work on Konoha's new security system. Even now that it was theoretically finished and in operation already, did they do their best to try and find ways to improve it.

The three of them had spent a great deal of the last months within this dreary room, but they were here to work and not to have a good time, so the poor condition of their office seemed to escape their notice. Often enough they had support by whoever else volunteered, but Shikamaru, his father Shikaku and Ino's father Inoichi were the heart of Konoha's new, improved and hopefully insurmountable safety system. It felt somewhat weird to be working with his father. It's not like he hadn't done it before, but not over such a long period of time. In any case, his father made sure that he kept focused on his task and didn't give in to all these little (and also rare) distractions this room offered. It was really annoying.

It was a great burden to be responsible for the safety of an entire village, especially considering what happened, but then they felt like they had done quite a good job; there sure enough wasn't anything comparable to it.

"Any news from the intelligence squads yet?" Shikaku asked and looked up from a map that was sprawled out across the table; the scrolls, pens and whatever else there was underneath it, creating slopes and dips in the terrain as though it were three-dimensional.

"Not yet," Inoichi answered, "according to schedule the first teams reached their destination this morning. It will take a while for them to gather relevant information and sent them here."

They used models of other villages in order to strengthen their own defences. In the past they had mainly exchanged data with their allies. At that time they had been too weak and vulnerable still to risk sending out any of their ninja to other countries, who might not receive them with open arms. However now that the situation was almost back to normal again, they could afford to be a bit bolder again. Espionage was the keyword. They sent spies in all cardinal directions from the Land of Sea in the south up to the Land of Snow in the north. Yuki Gakure was known for its technological progress, which was far superior to that of any other nation and so they sent spies there to get some ideas.

"I doubt that whatever they find will be of any use to us," Shikamaru sighed and leaned back in his chair, letting his head fall back, so his eyes could focus on the white ceiling tiles with the black holes in it. There were 72 tiles and 10 368 holes.

"What makes you so sure of that?" asked his father, in the very kind of tone that made him know already that he didn't share his opinion on the matter and only waited for his son to explain his line of thinking, before he could point out all the flaws in it.

"Well, at first, our system is complete already. Every alteration might diminish its efficiency," Shikamaru began and took a brief pause for effectiveness. "Second, in our initial research we covered all the great nations already. Except for Yuki Gakure, the remaining villages are too small and insignificant to be of any help. And as for the Land of Snow; due to their technological superiority they might have something to gain from them, but even so, we would not be able to copy any of the things we find there, because we are not on the same level and it would take years to catch up on that. Accordingly, sending out the intelligence squads is a waste of their time."

_And__ours_, he thought, since they were the ones waiting for them and their data so they could finally finish their assigned task.

So now it was up to his father to refute his, to him, rock solid logic.

"That may well be true," Shikaku said in a pensive tone, his eyes intently focused on his son, who bore a great resemblance to him and it seemed to become more and more still with every passing day. He had time now to study all the similarities between them, seeing as they were spending about 2/3 of their day together. "But you never know before you tried."

"Hmpf," Shikamaru snorted with the slightest smirk on his face.

And without any counterargument his father had won.

That didn't change anything about Shikamaru's opinion though. He was sort of proud of what they had accomplished in the past months. The old security system of the village had mainly consisted of the sentries at the gates and the force field, which surrounded the whole village and was set off whenever someone entered or left the village through something other than the designated gates. They had kept all these things, but apart from that, the new system counted the chakras of all the people in the village and also marked their traits, so it wouldn't be fooled by bunshins and whenever a chakra suddenly appeared or disappeared, an alarm was set off.

The whole village was distributed into quarters, each containing a pole with a siren and emergency lights of various colours and whenever something happened they were activated, red in the concerned quarter, yellow in all the others, so everyone knew where something was happening and could react according to that. There have been a lot of false alarms at the beginning, but they had fixed that by now and had gone through a lot of emergency drills already and everything seemed to work just fine. It still had some weaknesses though; especially the high amount of chakra it needed in order to function. They needed nearly three-times as many people to keep it working than they had for the old one, but well, for the time being that was a price they were willing to pay and even with all its deficits it made people feel a little safer. Not least because of all the advantages it offered.

This system was not only far more innovative and secure than the old one; it was also ideal for keeping safe from Madara. They regarded the Uchiha as a very real threat. As long as they didn't find a corpse, they assumed he was alive and from their intel, he had the ability to travel through space, which meant he could theoretically show up in their midst at any second. There was nothing they could do to prevent that, but at least they could make sure that the second he, or anyone else, set foot in the village, they got to know about it, so the surprise effect wouldn't be on the side of the intruder at least. To Shikamaru it didn't seem like there was more they could do, but even so they still searched for ways to improve their system. Better safe than sorry.

"How are you getting on with the preparations for the Chunin Exams?" The Yamanaka asked and raised a mug of coffee to his lips. Shikamaru had a feeling he was addicted to the dark beverage, he sure enough hadn't seen him a single second without a cup in front of him.

"I'm still working on it." The young Nara shrugged and side-glanced at the folder, containing the images and stats of all the Genin who had thus far applied to take part in the Chunin Exams. They didn't take place in Konoha this year for obvious reasons. At first they had thought about skipping them altogether but had then decided against it. After all they were very important when it came to getting assignments for one's village and aside from that it strengthened the bonds to the other nations, which was very important in the current situation. The news about Madara did pretty well to do so. Although he was a Konoha shinobi he was known and feared throughout the continent and especially knowing that he was the leader of Akatsuki fuelled their anxiety – regarding Akatsuki as a simple criminal organisation had been bad enough but knowing who their leader was made them appear twice as dangerous to say the least.

They had shared all their data on Akatsuki with the other great nations as an act of faith and although you couldn't say this action led to any close alliances, the relationships to the other countries were nonetheless strengthened. A common enemy unites.

"You still have two months left, but even so you shouldn't be lax," Shikaku advised his son, as he felt was his duty as father; Shikamaru, however, only heard the criticism in his words.

"I know that." He rolled his eyes and lent towards the table, which caused the first two legs of his chair, which have been hanging in the air up to then, to hit the ground with a loud clack that seemed even louder in view of the silence, which dominated the office most of the time.

"I assume you do," Shikaku replied cryptically and focused his attention on his work again, while Shikamaru watched his father attentively, trying to figure out what he meant. Was this meant as a sign of his trust in his son or was it yet another form of criticism? Or maybe-

-_maybe_ it was just him who was a bit oversensitive at the moment.

He's been sitting here for hours now – he did every day – and whenever he got out then either to go home, eat and go to sleep then, or to run errands, respond to the Hokage's calls or from time to time he was sent on a mission. Not really often though. He had practically no free time left, he couldn't even remember the last time he had done some training, or the last time he had gone eating together with Ino and Chôji, like they had so often done back in the days that-

- but well, they hadn't really done so lately and actually he didn't feel like doing so. The empty seat at the table was always far too apparent, whenever they tried to breathe life into their memories, by clinging to their old traditions.

"I'll be right back," Shikamaru said their secret code for '_I__need__to__pee__' _and departed their office, which was always filled with the stench of cold coffee, which he barely realised any longer. He walked to the end of the bleak corridor until he reached the single bathroom, which had to do for both men and women.

He walked inside, locked the door and stepped on the toilet to open the high and far too small window, which could only be tilted actually, which is why it barely sufficed to let in some air. He cast a yearning look at the milky glass, before he pulled out his (Asuma's) lighter and indulged his now no longer so very new nicotine habit.

It seemed the only clouds Shikamaru was getting to see lately, were the clouds of smoke rising from the gleaming tip of his cigarette.

* * *

><p>It has been a long but altogether unexciting day. Same as the previous days have been long and unexciting as well. But that was a part of being a shinobi as well, they all knew that, but even so, it had become routine as of late for them to do nothing that allowed them to go to bed at the end of a work day and fall asleep with the satisfaction of having accomplished something.<p>

It might sound like a bit of an exaggeration to state that someone of their age was prone to grow bitter already, but that was exactly how Naruto felt. For the fear of sounding conceited, he was still of the opinion that their squad, their Team 7, was one of the strongest teams within the Hidden Leaf – _the_ strongest even. They had Kakashi after all, the copycat ninja, or Yamato, the only remaining Mokuton user, and Sakura, Tsunade's best student and of course there was Sasuke, the (hopefully) last living Uchiha – except for his son. Oh, and then there was him, the man who defeated Pain and saved the Hidden Leaf from destruction; the son of the Fourth Hokage, Namikaze Minato and the future Hokage of Konoha Gakure: Uzumaki Naruto. Uhm… yeah… and there was Sai, too…

Who could possibly keep up with such a constellation? Which team was more suitable for a fighting mission than them? Even so, the only fights he had witnessed lately were those of Sakura against Sai and the only fights he had participated in lately were those of him against Sai.

That was definitely not why he had become a ninja. And it sure enough wouldn't help him one bit on his way to becoming Hokage. Oh, he certainly was bitter when he had time to think about it and unfortunately the current situation offered a lot of time of exactly that.

They had spent (wasted) two weeks on trying to find Sasuke's long-lost team-mate, without finding the tiniest sign of life. For all they knew she could have dropped right off the face of the earth – or hidden in a bush right behind them, with her skills, they wouldn't put it past her… That is also what made it so absolutely incomprehensible to him why they of all people had to search her.

But at long last they had given up. They were already (or finally, really) on their way back home, still with their eyes and ears open for anything that might turn their mission into a success after all. Not that they harboured even the remotest bit of hope for a positive outcome; the odds of finding her anywhere close to the Hidden Leaf were rather slim. After what happened, the likelihood of finding Karin anywhere where Sasuke might be was pretty much nonexistent.

The sun was beginning to set, dyeing the sky a bright crimson, littered with violet bruises that were increasing in number with the passage of time. It was summer and accordingly the days were really long; although the sun was only just going down, they were already on their feet for more than twelve hours and they were at length beginning to feel that way.

"Kakashi-senpai." Sai appeared on his ink-bird right above them. They were glad whenever he searched the terrain from up in the sky; they welcomed every bit of distance to him.

"What is it Sai?" The Hatake asked and kept his one visible eye trained on his newest student.

"There is a town up ahead of us, three kilometres north-northeast."

"That has to be Otafuku Gai."

"_Otafuku__Gai_, huh?" Naruto repeated pensively and scratched his chin, his full attention focused inwards, sorting through memory files in order to find out where he had heard that name before.

"Ever been there?" Kakashi asked, without any trace of curiosity in his voice, after all he knew the answer already.

"Uhm… Oh, of course!"

He clapped his fist into his open palm as the penny dropped at last. Once it did, however, the excitement about remembering yielded to a rather sombre feeling.

He had been there with Jiraiya; Jiraiya who had died last year at the hand of Pain, Akatsuki's alleged leader. He had avenged his death, but in retrospect he couldn't say he felt any better for it. Most definitely not. He wondered if Sasuke had felt that way too, as he had finally gotten his revenge on his brother. Speaking of which…

Naruto cocked his head to the side, to take a look at Sasuke's face. He could only see his profile, but he was sure he looked thoughtful. As it seemed he had also remembered their brief stay in that town.

To Naruto it was the place where he had spent some (actually only very little) quality time with Jiraiya, almost like they were grandfather and grandson, but it was also the first time he had seen an Akatsuki, well, two to be precise.

To Sasuke it was the place where he had seen his brother again, for the first time since the massacre of his clan. It was from then on that Sasuke had started to distance himself from them, ultimately ending up abandoning his home, abandoning his friends and nearly killing him, before he joined Orochimaru in the hope of gaining enough power to kill his older brother. It was this incident which had driven Sasuke further into the darkness.

"There are many inns in Otafuku Gai. It will be best if we stay there the night," Kakashi proposed, although it wasn't as much of a proposal as it was an order of the team-leader. He knew that, although none of his students would ever admit it, they were all exhausted. It hasn't been an exhausting mission in that they hadn't faced any difficulties, but even so they were all pretty short of sleep and that over the period of two weeks, which was even for a shinobi's stamina pretty much.

"The mission is over, isn't it?" Sasuke asked and glanced over his shoulder at the Hatake, who was only about two steps behind him, walking right beside Sakura.

"…It is…" Kakashi sighed, already knowing what Sasuke was up to and he couldn't really say he was happy about it.

"Hn," Sasuke nodded, "You can rest if you want. I'm off."

And with that he already leaped into the next tree and increased his pace, to escape any potential objections to his decision. He had been gone from home for long enough and he wouldn't stay away a single additional day if it wasn't necessary – and since the mission has been doomed to be a failure from the start, it sure enough wasn't necessary.

"Me, too," Naruto said quickly and rushed after his team-mate, making a speedy departure for the very same reason, especially because he was sure that Kakashi would try to hold him back. But he really didn't feel like staying in Otafuku Gai – maybe even in the same inn he had also stayed in with Jiraiya. Remembering the pervy sage no longer hurt all that much, but depending on the memories it wasn't pleasant either – and the time in this town did not really fall into the category of pleasant memories.

"Wait," the Hatake had meant to raise his voice actually, but saw no more need for it. They were gone already and even if they heard him, they definitely wouldn't stop – order or not.

"I don't need to rest either, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura gave the grey-haired Jounin a determined nod, always eager to catch up with the boys.

He was clearly outvoted, so what could Kakashi do, other than lower his head and sigh in resignation. He was supposed to keep an eye on Naruto after all, so he either followed them home right away, or he followed them until he reached them and dragged them back by their ears. They'd probably deserve so for disobeying his orders, but then he understood them. Of course Sasuke wanted to get back to his family and of course Naruto didn't want to waste any more time on these trite missions that kept him from training. He was sure though that that wasn't the only reason for their hasty departure; Kakashi was well aware of what happened it Otafuku Gai about six years ago.

"Very well. Let's try to catch up with them."

* * *

><p>They laid back the last part of the journey with haste, but by the time they walked through the gates, leading into the Village Hidden in the Leaves, night had made the sky its home. There were no stars, but the moon stood like a cosmic lamp amidst the velvety blackness, making the streets look as though they were paved with silver bricks.<p>

They said goodbye to each other and scattered, only Naruto and Sasuke stayed together; after all they were living really close by, had in fact lived together for full two weeks. After they had returned to Konoha they had needed a place to stay, because their home had been far from being ready, in spite of all their efforts, which is why Naruto had proposed to let them live in his flat and so they had.

Those two weeks have been really stressful, admittedly, but even so, the Uzumaki had enjoyed (almost) every second of it. In that time he had gotten to know his team-mates from a completely new side. Especially Sasuke… He had been sure that Sasuke had to behave differently when he was with Sayuri and his son than he did among other people (otherwise he wouldn't understand how she could put up with him for such a long time). And fact is he had been right. He wouldn't say he was like a completely different person then, but it has definitely been new to him to see the softer side of the always so cool and detached Uchiha.

Oh, and he had really enjoyed playing with Mikan. Although they weren't akin to each other, he regarded Sasuke's son as his nephew. After all Sasuke was practically his brother and Sayuri was practically his sister – if it weren't for the _practically_ it would be kind of weird and most likely not tolerable– and he still fought for the title of godfather, but it didn't seem as though they would make up their minds about that any time soon.

"Phew… home sweet home, eh?" Naruto sighed once the roof of his house appeared in his field of vision.

"Hn," Sasuke merely nodded, without wasting any words on explaining his answer or maybe starting a conversation.

"Did you miss them?" There was a gloating grin on Naruto's face and his effort to hold it back, made it appear all the more teasing.

"What a question," Sasuke rolled his eyes, evading a clear answer, but Naruto would have expected no different from his team-mate. He knew him too well for that.

"Aww… so you did…" The grin widened further, while his eyes narrowed until they were mere blue slits, making him almost appear like a cat, or more likely a fox. "Give them my greetings! Goodnight, Sasuke-chan."

"Whatever," Sasuke carried on walking without sparing another glance at the chuckling blonde, who was still waving at him. They had spent the last two weeks together; every further second was just too much.

Sasuke's own house was barely two streets away and when he had been in a great hurry to get home before, now, the closer he was, the more he slowed down. It was always the same. There was just nothing he could do about the queasy feeling that always came over him, whenever he returned home at the end of the day – especially after having been gone for a longer time. He couldn't help but be reminded of that one fateful day, as though he was actually thrown back in time.

He walked down the seemingly inconspicuous, but all too quiet streets until he came across the first signs of battle, shortly afterwards followed by the first corpses. Then he entered his house. Empty and silent. He walked through corridor after corridor, room after room, calling for his parents, his brother, but not finding either of them until-

-but that was then and this is now. Still with Madara somewhere out there, it could very well happen that these events would repeat themselves. That he would lose his family again without being able to do anything about it. He didn't know when it would happen, didn't even know where it would happen or if it would happen at all and it were these very insecurities that tortured him and now kept him rooted to the spot before his front porch. His fists were clenched, his knuckles white and his breath came shallow through his slightly parted lips. To think that the mere prospect of getting home reduced him, Uchiha Sasuke, to such a timid mess…

He was a man who used to have much and lost much, and then he lost more and more, even as there had been nothing left to take. Life hasn't been easy on him in the past, but as of late he had also gotten to know some mercy at the hand of fate and now that he had something to lose again he was afraid of its vicissitude more than ever. Fate is a cruel mistress and his own lack of power, of control, filled him with a kind of fear the old Sasuke hadn't known, because there hasn't been anything he had valued enough to be affected by the loss of it.

As it was, however, or better as _he_ was now, he stood in front of his home, letting his jet black eyes wander up and down the façade, searching for any sign of wrong, just so that he'd be prepared at least in case anything should happen or had happened already. But everything seemed just fine. The door and the windows were closed, the few curtains they had were drawn, none of the alarms in this quarter was activated, there were no people running around in a panicky frenzy; the world looked peaceful for the night, thing is only that he wasn't ready to believe that until he had seen that with his own eyes.

It was with a certain amount of tentativeness that Sasuke made his way up to the front porch, which surrounded nearly ¾ of the lower floor. It was a nice house, nothing compared to the one of his parents though – neither when it came to size nor splendour, but it was more than enough for the three of them, and well, it was expandable.

He went for the door and gave it a shove, only to find it locked.

At length his fingers relaxed, as he fumbled for his keys. He entered the corridor, took off his shoes and then slid the door open that led into the living-room. The house was dark, brimming with silence, so profound that it almost roared in his ears. The only light came through the paper screen door at the other end of the room and was consequently milky. They had torn down the wall of Mikan's orange nightmare, so the living area would be bigger and had direct access to the porch and in addition they had added two big rooms on the left side of the house and also a whole upper floor. That one, however, was a complete building site still. He didn't waste much time on inspecting the house, but dropped his backpack and went right to the bedroom, making use of the light-footedness, ninja were trained from the start, as to not make any noise that might rouse anyone.

He opened the door without so much as the click of a lock and sneaked inside, listening for any sounds, aside from the beating of his own heart and calmed down immediately as he perceived the soft rhythm of Sayuri's breathing. It was a simple room; neither big nor small, with a dark wooden floor and the walls a mixture of the same wood and simple white paint. At the far end of the room was a big window fitted with wooden blinds and their bed stood right in that corner, so it wouldn't take up too much room. Aside from that there was only Mikan's crib and changing table, a wardrobe, an armchair and a mirror – really not much, but it was all they needed.

The light of the moon drifted through the blinds of the long window and cast faint silver stripes onto the bed right underneath it, illuminating the person inside.

He nodded mutely, as if to affirm his finding, before he turned his head to the left, focusing his eyes on the crib, standing only about a metre away from the foot of the bed. Careful not to make any noise, Sasuke continued with his ritual and covered the short distance to the crib to peer down at his sleeping son. The darkness in combination with his poor vision made it hard for him to take in any details, but he was still sure he had grown. Two weeks might not be a long time for an adult, but for a baby two weeks might mean the change from crawling to walking, from babbling to speaking, from knowing his parents and forgetting about them…

He hated it to be gone for such a long time.

He slipped off his clothes, hung them across the armchair, before he lifted the covers and eased himself onto the mattress right beside Sayuri. The bed was already warm with her presence and her subtle scent lingered on the pillow.

He was home.

It was three in the morning and she was fast asleep and every fibre of his own body yearned for sleep as well, but even so he couldn't help but prop himself up on his elbow to have a look at his girlfriend. Just to be sure nothing happened, he told himself, when in reality his motivation was almost certainly of a whole different kind. Her pale skin seemed to be glowing in the moonlight, her dark hair was spread like spilled ink across the white pillow, tempting him to press his nose into it and inhale its scent. A small sound escaped her slightly parted lips and her eyelids fluttered like the wings of a butterfly – there was no doubt she was dreaming.

He knew it was late and all and he also knew that she had trouble falling asleep once she woke up, but Sasuke had never yet bothered to hide his selfish nature and her being asleep really wasn't in his interest. He slid closer, until her back rested against his chest and placed his lips on the warm pulse in the crook of her neck.

"Hmm…" Sayuri sighed, not yet awake enough to know what was going on, but ever so slowly the fog in her head cleared. "Sa—suke…?"

"Hn," He moved up to her earlobe and smirked about the contented sound, passing her lips.

"I dreamed you'd come…"

"You did?" he asked smugly and slid his hand down her hip, searching for the silky skin of her inner thigh.

"Uh-huh… but in my dream it was morning already and you carried a tray with breakfast… and coffee…" she yawned and stretched her arms above her head, before she turned around in his arms, so he wouldn't miss her slightly grumpy look. "Couldn't you wait until breakfast before waking me?"

"Tze," he curled his lips, "Didn't you miss me?"

"I did," she nodded and exhaled noisily, "But I would have somehow made it through the last hours without despairing."

"Hmpf," Sasuke snorted, "Good to know."

"Uh-huh," Sayuri giggled softly and ran a hand across Sasuke's cheek, "Welcome home." She placed a long kiss on his lips and watched his face closely. No injuries there – the mission must have gone well, though that didn't have to mean anything. "Did you find her?"

She would have never thought so, but she actually hoped they had. Things between her and Karin haven't always been rosy, far from it, but in the end they had somewhat overcome their differences, at least to some extent… Karin even saved her life and with that also that of her son and she really hoped they had found her, because Karin's abilities were really useful when it came to keeping safe from Madara and the safety of her son was her top priority.

"No," he said simply and leaned in to kiss her, before he asked, "How have you been doing?"

"Fine," she smiled and placed her hands on Sasuke's bare chest to keep him from kissing her, while she was trying to answer his question, although she somehow doubted he was interested in the details. As long as nothing bad happened he probably couldn't care less, which didn't keep her from telling him anyway. "I did some training with Team Gai this week, while Lee looked after Mikan. He is trying to teach him how to walk, but it might be a bit early for that still… But Lee does really well as a baby sitter. Mikan really seems to like him."

"Hn," Sasuke nodded and Sayuri didn't miss the thoughtful look on his face.

"What?"

"I've been gone for two weeks…" he started slowly and rolled on his back, his charcoal eyes fixed on the shady ceiling. "He probably doesn't even recognise me anymore."

"He's not a goldfish," Sayuri giggled and wrapped her arms around Sasuke's body, resting her ear right above his heart. "Of course he'll recognise you."

_That_ he would definitely do, but she still knew what Sasuke meant. There was a difference between how he reacted when he saw his mother and when he saw his father. Mikan was totally focused on her and although that felt really good, like she was the centre of his universe, it also had bad sides, especially when it came to leaving him in someone else's care, even if it was his father.

Sasuke was really gone a lot and even while he was here, he spent most of his time training or working on the house, which didn't leave much time for his son. He just didn't know exactly what to do with him over a longer period of time. He was too small for almost everything still. When he'd be older it would be different. Then Sasuke could be the one to teach him how to walk, then he could show him the world, explain everything to him and one day start training him. For now, however, he just wasn't so good when it came to playing with him. He didn't have the light-hearted nature of a Lee or Naruto and he didn't as readily make a fool of himself, or maybe he just couldn't…

She thought he was a good father, one who'd do everything for his family, and not only to know them safe, but also to know they were happy, but Mikan was too small to cherish any of these things. His world had about the size of a ping-pong ball and was only inhabited by two kinds of people: those who made him laugh and those who didn't, and as it was, Sasuke most often belonged to the latter category.

He was a good father maybe, but he wasn't much of a daddy.

* * *

><p>A thick layer of morning mist hung heavy between the numerous mountains that dominated the landscape. The air was uncommonly chilly for the middle of June, but far away from home as they were, that didn't come as too much of a surprise. Different countries, different customs, so a different climate wasn't so unusual either…<p>

It was early in the morning still, the sky resembled a steel blue curtain and the mist gave a grey tinge to just about everything; from the grass, to the bushes and trees – even their clothes and faces. A dreary picture they made, which was complemented by the grim expressions pasted on their faces.

They had almost reached their destination by now, maybe another two or three hours and they'd be there. What they were supposed to do then, was still a mystery to them though, which was probably what made them so nervous.

Team 8 under command of Shiranui Genma had set out on their mysterious and apparently also dangerous mission five days ago. They hadn't talked a great deal during the journey, although they had only vowed secrecy in front of other people and not those who were sitting in the same boat. They couldn't really help it though. Everyone was way too occupied with trying to figure out for themselves what this mission might be about, so there wasn't much time to ask anyone else about their opinion. The lack of details left room for a broad range of assumptions, from rather timid ones to the wildest guesses.

"Alright," Genma broke the silence for the first time since they had taken off this morning, "It's about time, put on your masks."

Kiba, Shino and Hinata nodded mutely and did as they were told and although their grim expressions might be hidden from view for the moment, the blank replacements weren't so much better either, definitely no more cheerful.

They trotted the rest of the way in silence, until the mountains receded behind them and the vast shore stretched before them and they were greeted by a fresh sea breeze. It left a salty taste on their lips and the steady rush of waves sounded like white noise and thunder. The temperatures really didn't invite to go swimming though. The colour of the troubled water alone, which resembled that of the sky, was pretty deterrent itself.

Noon didn't bring any visible changes to the scenery, but it was then that they reached their destination.

"This is it," Genma proclaimed and so they all came to a stop and roamed their shielded eyes around in search for any clues or any person in possession of clues that might make them understand what they were here for. But there was no one in sight. Just the ocean in front of them, the pebble beach underneath, the steely sky above and some trees and cliffs behind them. No buildings or anything and certainly no sign of civilisation.

"Soo… what now?" Kiba asked, his voice sounding weirdly subdued. He felt watched somehow, but wondered secretly if that wasn't because he expected to be watched – after all there had to be a reason why this was an S-rank mission, right?

"We'll wait," Genma said calmly; he wasn't the kind to be screaming around and act like a pre-school teacher, so he was really glad that he had been given such an obedient team. Although Kiba's temper at times did stir the slightest sense of annoyance in him, but up to now he had never yet managed to make him lose his poise. It took far more for that than a loud-mouthed boaster.

_Byakugan._

Her mask concealed the fact that Hinata had only just activated her bloodline limit in order to scan the woods behind them – the only region that offered a hiding place to anyone. Shino must have had the same idea; she could see an unusual density of insects, making their way into the wood, crawling across pebbles and grasses, up tree trunks and over the feet of various people, hiding within the pale green foliage.

So Shino knew too.

"Identify yourself." Sounded a voice, even before Hinata could inform her team about her discovery, but the owner of the voice chose to remain concealed behind a blanket of leaves.

Instead of answering, Genma pulled out the scroll Tsunade had given them before setting out and opened it. The lower end fell on the stony ground, but the sea drowned out all these little sounds; even that of the landing of the man, who had leaped out of one of the trees and now took the scroll from Genma. He read through it quickly, his eyes from time to time wandering up to scrutinise them, Hinata could see that with her Dôjutsu, whereas the others were most likely unaware of that little gesture which spoke so clearly for suspicion.

Not a single word was exchanged until the man rolled up the scroll and raised his hand, a signal, no doubt, and within a mere second they found themselves surrounded by a dozen of ninja.

…_six…eight…nine…eleven…twelve! A dozen indeed!_

Akamaru emitted a low growl and Hinata saw how Kiba reached for his weapon pouch, his whole body tense and crouched in a way that allowed him to jump at anyone who made the slightest move right away. A simple gesture by their team-leader caused him to drop his hand again, but he was still anything but relaxed.

"You are the replacement," the one who had read the scroll stated. It was hard to keep them apart, seeing as they were all wearing the same masks – the very masks they were wearing themselves. "You may leave now."

Kiba was just about to protest about being sent away when they had only just arrived here after an arduous journey, but before he had a chance, six of the present people vanished, without another word, not even a goodbye. This mission apparently didn't allow for making any friends. The strict discipline made obvious that this was nothing to take lightly… It was sort of unsettling though to think that the other teams – teams from other villages – consisted of six people, when they were only four. But then they were four people, one dog and a myriad of insects. That should about make them even in numbers, right?

But if only one half of them left, did that mean they had to do this mission together with the remaining ones? Six ninja from an unknown village and they had some doubts that they would tell them where they came from. They had known that this was a collaboration mission between many countries but they hadn't quite reckoned that they were in for direct teamwork with shinobi from a different nation.

This mission had to be more serious still than they had imagined… Hinata wondered if Tsunade had been in her right mind when she had decided to sent her here.

Hinata often asked herself if she was strong. Most often her answer was _no_, but lately that had changed to _no,__but__I__'__m__stronger__than__yesterday__and__much__stronger__than__the__day__before__that_. Now however she was no longer sure if that had not been but a mere act of self-deception. The sum of all these yesterdays still didn't leave her feel strong enough for a mission of this extent.

Even so, she couldn't help but smile, as she thought of a person who would likely tell her the very opposite.

* * *

><p><em>It wasn't a very sad funeral.<em>

_Maybe__ because __it__ was __only __attended __by __five __people, __three__ of __whom __were __too __sober __and __hardened __or __perhaps __just __not __involved __enough __to __be __moved __by __the __tragic __fate __that__ had __befallen __the__ warriors __that __have __been__ buried __this __day._

_There __has __been __rain __in __the __past __weeks __but __today __the __heavens __kept __their __saltless __tears __to __themselves, __mocking __the __awful__ and __so __disagreeably __final__ event __by __cloaking __themselves __in__ the __bluest __of __the __blue __and __bathing __the __freshly __dug__ graves __in __a __plethora __of __bright __sunlight._

_Maybe __they __just __didn__'__t __deserve __any __better. __They __had __known__ what __they __were __letting __themselves __in __for __and __had __without __restraint, __without__ fear__(?) __marched __into __their __graves,__ dragging __with __them__ whoever __they__ could, __taking __pride __in __every __drop__ of __blood__ staining __their __hands._

_They chose to die as shinobi and so they had._

_Yes. Tears really did seem redundant at this point._

_It was too late to wash away the blood anyway._

…

…


	3. Plans

**3. Plans**

Sleeping in has become a thing of the past. Having an early bird for a son, who did not allow for anyone to sleep, when he didn't, made that sort of impossible. And he really did wake up with the birds and the first rays of the sun, which the blinds couldn't keep out in their entirety. Considering that it was summer made that way early.

Sayuri was standing in the kitchen, while Ino fussed over Mikan and tried her best to feed him his vegetable puree without ending up with the green mash in her own face. Ino was visiting them really often, especially now that Kiba was on a mission. She enjoyed playing with Mikan and Sayuri was sure that she also wanted to show Kiba that her wish for a baby was not born out of a whim and that she was definitely ready for it, which her boyfriend apparently didn't believe.

Due to Ino's sociable nature, Sayuri knew just about every single detail of their constant quarrels, though she couldn't help but wonder if Ino's accounts weren't a tad one-sided. Either that, or Kiba was secretly an evil villain, hellbent on destroying every bit of happiness in Ino's life. And, let's face it, Ino wasn't the kind of person who would put up with that.

"C'mon, be nice and say Aaaahhhh," Ino opened her mouth up wide and once Mikan did so, too, a victorious grin stretched her lips and she at once used that chance to bring a spoon-full of food to his mouth. Just in time Mikan pressed his mouth firmly shut, though – he wouldn't be fooled that easily.

"Clever little boy." The Yamanaka clicked her tongue and looked down at the green pulp she was supposed to feed him. "I wouldn't eat that either."

"Are you hungry?" Sayuri asked and turned around to the two of them. "I'm almost done."

"Thank you, but I just ate. Leave that for the hard-working men."

"Hmm… I don't know about the _hard-working_…" Sayuri grinned and turned back around to finish the last few rice balls. "Naruto and Suigetsu are fooling around most of the time."

"Well, that gives them fewer chances to mess up."

"True. And they won't get in the way of the real workers."

"This house will look great when it's finished."

"I hope so."

Sasuke did a lot of work on the house, or rather paid a lot of people to do so. She would have been fine with the house as it was, as long as it just had a bathroom and a complete roof, but Sasuke wanted it to be big. It was supposed to represent the new Uchiha clan and it should also look like that and he was still determined to not have it stay with only the three of them, so they'd need space, which is why they added some new rooms and an upper floor, although that one was far from being habitable, which is why they were staying on the lower floor in the meantime.

That was also one of the reasons why their furnishing looked more like a make-shift solution. More importantly though, even now, a year after Konoha's destruction, the demand of furniture was much greater than the supply. If you wanted new things that usually entailed a long waiting time and the prices were enormous and considering that they still haven't finished building the house, they decided to wait with buying new furniture before it ended up being damaged or something. They had all they needed – those things were pretty old and worn though and most often broken, but they served their purpose and the whole ground floor was baby safe, which was important now that Mikan took a fancy in crawling around and exploring every single corner.

"I'll bring them the food then. I'll be right back and you be a good boy." Sayuri pointed with her free and at length no longer rice-covered hand at her son and tousled his hair in passing.

She stepped out into the living-room, from where she could already hear a multitude of voices, most distinctly those of Suigetsu and Naruto and went upstairs. Once there, she walked along the long aisle towards the left half of the house and entered the room that only had three and a half walls up to now, but there were some masons just in the process of changing that. At the faraway end of the room, she saw Suigetsu and Naruto with _one__(!)_ saw in their hands, which unsettled her a little, especially since it looked as though they were quarrelling over it. With them was Iruka. She had been really surprised about seeing him in front of their door this morning, but Naruto had told him they were installing a parquet floor today and so he volunteered to help them, since he was quite good at it. At least someone who knew what he was doing.

Sasuke was closer to her. He was standing with Tazuna – another well-known face – in front of a table with a blueprint rolled out on it. From the looks on their faces it could have been an unsolvable enigma instead of a mere plan. There were nine people in here; she hoped she had cooked enough.

In the old house they rarely ever had any visitors, whereas now their home was almost always full of people and not only hired workers, but just people who dropped in to say hello. It still filled her with dread to think back of the time in which they had been so close to giving all of this up. In fact, she had thought it would be inevitable; that they would never be allowed to return and then Sasuke hadn't wanted to do so in the first place, but in the end things went more smoothly than anticipated. Once they had gone to Tsunade and told her about their change of mind (and she had been as surprised about it as Sayuri had been herself) she had at once supported their decision and Danzô had known better than to disagree with her. In the end the frictions between the Hokage and the leader of Root (and of course the whole situation concerning Madara) had been the best thing that could have happened to them. It allowed them to return to their hometown and resume living among their friends.

Just the thought of her sitting all alone somewhere in the middle of nowhere, without another person but Sasuke and Mikan, maybe without ever seeing any of these people again… She couldn't even put into words just how grateful she was that Sasuke changed his mind and the least she could do was make sure he would not regret his decision.

"Ah, Sayuri-san," Tazuna said in his booming voice, "that looks delicious."

"Thank you. Please help yourself," she smiled and offered the brimful plate to him, and the bridge builder didn't need to be asked twice. He at once took three of the filled rice balls and took a seat in an unsteady folding chair, from where he had a good view of everything going on around him.

"You?" She turned to Sasuke who briefly looked up.

"In a minute," he said and was just about to focus on his plans again, when they heard a crash and at once turned their heads towards the source. It had come from the other side of the room, where now both Suigetsu and Naruto were lying on the ground and from the look on Iruka's face, he was just about to give them a proper roasting.

"Those two…" Sasuke groaned and shook his head.

"Uh-huh," Sayuri giggled and watched how he turned his attention back to the blueprint again, but then she placed the plate of food right on top of it and slung her arms around Sasuke's neck, before giving him a long kiss.

"What?" he asked as she broke the kiss again and he couldn't help but frown about the beaming smile on her face.

"Nothing," she shrugged and pressed another peck on his lips.

"Hey! How about working you slacker! This is your house after all!" Naruto barked and pointed with his saw at the young couple.

Sayuri dropped her arms at once and gave Sasuke a sheepish look, before she took the plate again and carried it to the other people, hoping to appease them that way and of course it worked. With Suigetsu and Naruto it did anyway and the others probably couldn't care less, as long as they were getting paid by the end of the day and Sasuke paid them ridiculous sums of money, even the volunteers, and he didn't care if anyone felt offended by that. He didn't want to be indebted to anyone. The financial savings of the Uchiha clan really came in handy and Sasuke as the sole heir had unrestricted access to it. Needless to say that he'd rather have it otherwise…

"Is there anything you need still?" Sayuri asked, once she had made sure that no one would starve, but the only reaction was synchronously shaking heads.

"Sayuri-san?"

She heard someone call her from downstairs, but it wasn't Ino and she couldn't really identify the voice either.

"Yes?" she murmured sceptically and rushed through the corridor and to the circular staircase, from where she peered down to see who was visiting. "Tsuzumi-san?"

Okay, she sort of knew him after all, he's had something to do with the Chunin exams, but they had never yet talked to each other, so no wonder she hadn't recognised his voice. All the more surprising was it to see him here in their house and then he even knew her name. Curious and curiouser…

"Can I help you?" she asked sceptically as she slowly walked down the stairs, her grey-blue eyes remaining focused on the brown-haired Jounin.

"Depends."

"On what?"

"Are you Sayuri?"

So he didn't know who she was after all…

"Yes, I am," she nodded and folded her arms in front of her chest, still somewhat suspicious about this intrusion into her home.

"Then I have a message for you from Tsunade-sama," Tsuzumi said in his most official tone of voice.

"A message?" she asked, furrowing her brows. Usually messages were thrown into the mailbox or slipped under the door or on rare occasions they ended up pinned to the wall by a kunai, but such a formal announcement? That was definitely unusual…

"Yes," he nodded, "you are to come to the Hokage residence immediately."

"Why?"

Sayuri turned around quickly to see that Sasuke was now standing right behind her, asking the very question she had just meant to ask herself.

"I'm only the messenger," he replied curtly, "and as such my task is accomplished."

He nodded at them, before he turned around to leave. And he left them with a lot of questions.

She was officially called to the Hokage.

_Immediately_.

That sounded really important and she just couldn't think of a single reason why Tsunade would want to see her. She had withdrawn from active duty and she was no longer working in the hospital either. She only dropped in from time to time, when Sasuke was at home or they had someone else to look after Mikan. But by no stretch of the imagination could she fathom what the Godaime wanted from her. But it didn't really sound like good news… These official calls were rarely ever related to good news.

"I guess I better go." Sayuri turned around to Sasuke and from the look on his face, she was sure he had just wondered about the same things as she had, without finding an answer either.

"Hn," he nodded grimly and finally focused his coal black eyes on his girlfriend.

"I'll ask Ino if she can look after Mikan a little longer."

And then she'd set out to get her answers.

* * *

><p>Tsunade's office wasn't really far away, so Sayuri reached it in less than ten minutes. Once inside the familiar corridor, with the green carpet and the wooden wall panelling, she could no longer deny that she had a somewhat queasy feeling about the meeting.<p>

They were back in the Hidden Leaf since about four months, but she still dreaded that Tsunade would change her mind or would be forced to change her mind. Everything went way too smoothly back then. They had expected major difficulties, especially considering their whole demeanour. Tsunade had asked them to keep in touch and Sasuke had been against it, but at least he would have yielded on that point. Then Tsunade had asked them not to move too far away and Sasuke had been against it again, resolutely so.

Early the next day, after a night spent in a hotel, rather than in Naruto's flat (there has been too much to discuss still, they couldn't have done that in front of him), they had visited the Hokage. She had already looked grim, as though she had prepared all night for every single argument they could bring up, so she wouldn't have to think long about a way to counter it. If all else failed, she could still use a display of her superhuman strength in order to stun them into submissiveness – at least that's what her eyes had told them. Her amber eyes had strongly reminded of those of a lynx.

Sasuke hadn't looked much different either; stern and unrelenting, although relenting was what they had come for. It was probably a habit of his. He was just terribly stubborn, which is why it had surprised her so much that he changed his mind in the first place. But he did it for her, so she'd be happy and he did it for them, his family, so they'd be as safe as they could possibly be. Maybe he also did it for himself, so he wouldn't have to be worried all the time, but that was really the only advantage that he, personally, gained out of their staying here.

He had felt bad about it, she was sure he still did. After all the lies Madara had fed him, his image of his hometown had changed drastically and definitely for the worse. Just the thought of having to live among the possible murderers of your entire family… Sayuri understood all too well why Sasuke had wanted to move away. She was sure that Madara was incapable of producing but a single truthful word, but what it came down to was that they would never know. Maybe he had told the truth, maybe it was all a lie. But for their sake Sasuke had decided to give it a rest and not ask any further questions. That was probably what was hardest for him; living with all the uncertainties, but he did it for his new family. What better proof of his love could he possibly give?

Tsunade had been all too prepared for a long, nerve-wracking argument, but then they had entered her office, and although Sasuke had looked stubborn enough, ready for a confrontation as well, the smile on Sayuri's face had shaken her harsh façade a little and led it to be invaded by wonderment. Then came blank disbelief as Sayuri announced the good news, although she hadn't been quite sure just then, whether Tsunade saw it as good news as well… It might not reflect well on her role as Hokage to allow criminals to live within her village. People might see it as a weakness; that her soft spot for a group of individuals was detrimental to the well-being of her village and then use that as a foundation to protest against her decision. Up to now no one had done so though, at least not openly. But then it's not like anyone knew the truth about them.

In fact, they had more or less been welcomed with open arms and really many people volunteered to help them settle down. Konoha shinobi looked after another in more than one way… This was really the ideal place for Mikan to grow up in. Maybe it was a bit narrow-minded to think that this kind of solidarity only existed in the Hidden Leaf, but it's not like she had a comparison. Konoha was the only home she had ever known and she was glad that it would also be the home of her son.

"Come in."

Tsunade's voice, firm as always, drifted through the thick oaken door, the second Sayuri's knuckles only brushed the wood. She must have been waiting for her already, which usually wasn't a good sign. The Godaime was terribly impatient.

"You asked to see me?" Sayuri inquired, as she entered Tsunade's large, but awfully crammed and untidy office. It showed that Shizune has been sent on a mission; her employer was immersed in chaos.

"That I did," Tsunade responded in a matter of fact tone, but did not carry on and left it at analysing her former student closely.

"So…?" Sayuri asked eventually, feeling her level of anxiety rise gradually. "What is it?"

"Well," Tsunade began and folded her arms on what little free space there was on her desk. Was she bracing herself for delivering bad news? The Godaime's body language was usually pretty easy to read, which made her such a terrible poker player. She had her specific gestures for tension, suspicion, anger, worry and exhaustion and this one clearly spoke for tension.

"Well…?" Sayuri repeated and nodded eagerly, wishing the Hokage would finally stop keeping her on tenterhooks and talk in complete, meaningful sentences. She could already feel her hands become clammy as she waited and tried hard not to flinch under Tsunade's intense scrutiny.

But she hadn't asked to see Sasuke. Whatever Tsunade had to say couldn't be related to their staying here. If it were, she would have demanded to see the both of them, but she hadn't. But then she didn't like talking to Sasuke (she had told her so in one of her less sober moments), so maybe she left it to her, to tell Sasuke about whatever she couldn't get herself to utter to begin with.

"Tell me already."

"Hm…" Tsunade nodded and got up, before she began straying through her office. "After due consideration I've come to the decision that you are ready to take part in the medical exam for the next level."

"Huh?" Sayuri stammered, completely lost for words. She had expected quite a lot of things, but definitely nothing like this.

"You asked for permission to take the exam, did you not?"

"I-I did, but that was like… two years ago…"

She had known that it took some time to be allowed to the exam, but after not receiving a response after a couple of months, Sayuri had taken that as a no and wasted no further thought on the matter; especially after Sakura had gotten her permission in less than a month and she was definitely no Sakura, there was no point deluding herself.

"Yes it was. Did you change your mind?"

There was a look on Tsunade's face that told her that any answer other than a yes would gravely disappoint her and she couldn't let her down now, could she?

"Well, no, but why now?

"We could need some more high-ranked Iryonin and now that you are not distracted by any missions, you have enough time to prepare for it."

That wasn't quite true. With her rather time-consuming son and then the building work on their house, she was left with far less spare time than she's had while she still acted as a ninja.

"And when is the exam?"

"By the last of this month."

"That's pretty soon…"

"That leaves you with nearly three weeks to prepare. You think you're up to it?" Tsunade settled back in her chair and watched the violet-haired kunoichi intently, seeing her hesitance all too clearly.

"Guess so…" she shrugged and chewed on her lips as she thought back of the last time she had actually done something in that direction.

She had done a lot while she's still been in Suna, but ever since they came back, her main focus had lain on security systems. She had even helped out (and stolen ideas) in Shikamaru's squad to turn their house into a literal fortress. She had placed many seals in their home, so it's not possible to mould chakra in there and Madara couldn't possibly materialise right into it. If he meant to come, he would have to do so in front of the house, which bought them at least a little bit of time and then the alarm of the village would be set off and it would only be a matter of seconds until help arrived and they were warned in advance of course.

They thought that was pretty much all the protection they could have from no other than Uchiha Madara and they had no idea how effective it would be when it came down to it, but they'd rather not have a reason to find out.

"_Guess__so_?" Tsunade repeated with a raised eyebrow, her hands folded underneath her chin.

"Yes," Sayuri sighed and slumped her shoulders, "I'll somehow make it."

"Very well," Tsunade smirked complacently and rose to her feet again, stretching her arms above her head. "If you need any help, feel free to consult me. You may go now."

"What?" Sayuri gazed at the blonde woman incredulously. "That's it?"

_No bad news?_

"Basically… yes."

"Then why the immediately?"

"I'm sitting here since eight o'clock and I'm about to starve. I finally want to have lunch," Tsunade said casually and shuffled towards the door, while Sayuri couldn't think of anything to say and left it at gaping at the Fifth.

She was officially ordered to the Hokage by a Chunin on such short notice and only because Tsunade wanted to have lunch? So she had been worried for nothing? Unbelievable… But then that was better than if there had actually been any trouble. Fifteen minutes of unfounded anxiety were definitely better than days, or maybe weeks, of justified one.

* * *

><p>Having two idiots on a building site seems worse enough; take three and you have a disaster.<p>

If Sasuke had known who was standing in front of the door, knocking in a patient, but persistent rhythm, he would have thought twice before bothering to walk down the stairs and opening.

It had been weird enough to hear the knocking in the first place. Due to the constant in and out of the workers, the front door was open all day and usually whoever visited saw that as an invitation to just come in. Even the messenger from earlier had waited in the corridor, so of course Sasuke had been rather curious to see who it was, especially since Sayuri was gone for more than two hours now and he really did wonder, what Tsunade could want from her.

With all that in mind, Sasuke had interrupted his work and abandoned his post as Naruto's and Suigetsu's watchdog to answer the door, but once he did he wished he hadn't.

"Sai…"

Sai: the newest and without a doubt least popular member of Team Kakashi, or Team Yamato, whenever the Hatake was sent on another mission, which happened often enough. Aside from not being popular, he was also entirely redundant. He had joined the team, as both he and Sayuri had been in Suna still, waiting for their son to be born. The original Team 7 had only consisted of two members then, Naruto and Sakura and the team-leader, Kakashi, of course. They had needed a third man then, because all teams had to consist of three men in the least. Now that Sasuke was back, they were three again, four with Sai, and although they had been a four man cell most of the time (it seemed to slip Sasuke's notice that he had been gone for no less than three years) they could do perfectly well without him; especially considering how much he disrupted the, as it was, rather odd dynamic of their squad and was more of a curse than a blessing, and yet he was still there.

In this very moment even right within Sasuke's house.

He really wished he hadn't opened the door, but it was too late for that now and although Sasuke hadn't bothered to act like much of a host, Sai had nevertheless followed him all the way upstairs and now he stood there in the middle of the room, with a pen in one hand and a notepad in the other. He almost appeared lost, on first sight anyway, but if you took a closer look, you could see how intently his eyes were following the present people, and then the comments he dropped, more often than not, didn't exactly speak for discomfort either.

Naruto and Suigetsu had settled their quarrel over the saw and the Houzuki now used his decapitator in order to cut the wood into the right size, which meant Naruto had the saw all to himself. Even though he didn't seem to be able to concentrate on his task, since he was too busy looking up and scowling at Sai.

"Oi! How long are you just gonna stand there?" Naruto barked and with his clear blue eyes fixed on his team-mate, he didn't see just how close he had just gotten to cutting off his fingers. "Do something or get out of here!"

"Maybe I should," Sai said in a thoughtful voice, "but you in turn should rather stop, before you do any more damage."

"What?" Naruto barked, but then saw how Sai pointed his finger, so he followed its direction, until he noticed to his horror that he had cut some kind of zigzag into the wooden board, when there sure enough shouldn't have been any.

"That's all your fault Sai!" Naruto leaped to his feet and waved his saw at the dark-haired man. "You distract me on purpose!"

"Lame excuse, you moron," Suigetsu, who had watched the entire scene with a large grin on his face, snorted and passed another perfectly clean cut board to Iruka.

"Hey! Whose side are you on anyway?"

_Traitor._

"Didn't know this was about sides…" Suigetsu drawled and looked into the air, as though engaged in deep contemplation. "I guess I'm on the side of whoever doesn't give me more work…"

And that coming from someone who helped voluntarily.

"That's a really handy tool you have there," Sai murmured and pointed at Suigetsu's Decapitating Knife. "But I wonder why you always carry such a huge sword with you… Are you trying to compensate for something?"

"_Compensate_?" Suigetsu asked with a baffled face. "You know," he started in a low voice, while a sly grin appeared on his lips, "One more word and you'll have to compensate for your head."

"That smile is fake." Sai pointed at his opposite, while a similar expression appeared on his face.

"Is that all you have to say?"

"For the moment…"

What a weird guy.

"Yo, Sasuke!" Naruto rose to his feet and patted the dust off his hands, after he had hidden the piece of wood he had just mutilated among the pile of intact ones. "Did you make up your mind about the Chunin exams?"

"Hmpf," Sasuke snorted dismissively and didn't deign to look at the blonde again.

"Fine, I'm off then." Naruto snapped, a little sulky about the lack of enthusiasm on the Uchiha's side. "_**I**_ don't plan to stay a stupid Genin for the rest of my life."

"Whatever," Sasuke shrugged, but was reminded again that Sayuri still hadn't returned from her meeting with the Hokage. Maybe Naruto would run into her… and knowing Naruto he would come running right back here in case something should be going on, like Tsunade not letting him in because she had something else to do… and knowing Naruto he'd also find out just what it was… Either way he'd get the information soon enough.

* * *

><p>Naruto couldn't stand to sit around and do nothing.<p>

There were people like Shikamaru, who could lie around day in and day out or others like Ino who only searched for someone to chat with. Just nothing useful; nothing with a purpose… _that_ was something he could not square with his conscience. The only idle time of his day was reserved for ramen; the rest was filled with either missions, training or he did his best to help out wherever help was needed and that was quite a lot still. Although they were planning to have all the construction work done by the end of the month – at least concerning public buildings and institutions. And it was about high time for that…

As Naruto walked down the street, heading toward Tsunade's office, he wondered if he was really helping out so much at Sasuke's house because he wanted to do his friends a favour, entirely selfless, or if he wasn't rather interested in Sasuke finishing his house as soon as possible, so he'd finally have a worthy training partner again. They did train from time to time, but not really often. Sasuke had his obligations; it was his house after all and then he also had a family. Naruto, however, didn't really have anything to do, whenever he wasn't assigned to one of these stupid and far too rare missions. Everyone else from their age group was sent out far more often, which usually left him alone here, or that's how it felt at least.

That was the reason why he wanted to take the Chunin exams. Once he was a Chunin he would go on better missions with all the others and working to pass the exam seemed like at least some sort of purpose. He didn't have any doubts that he would rush through the tests with flying colours. After all he was the one who saved the village from extinction and the others were but a bunch of Genin, but maybe there was at least the remotest possibility that he'd face a challenge. Who knew? There was often word about young geniuses…

Not that it would make a difference to him…

Many people greeted him on the way; they always did wherever he went. It had taken him quite some time to get used to it. After being either shunned or ignored for the majority of his life, being smiled at or patted on the back for no apparent reason was sort of surreal. But then they called him a hero, and apparently this was how heroes were being treated.

Smirking at the thought, Naruto strolled down the street, nodding at everyone passing him, until he caught sight of a well-known person, walking his way.

"Sayuri-chan!" Naruto waved at the violet-haired kunoichi, who was carrying a huge pile of books, reaching up to her nose.

"Naruto-kun?" She turned around a bit, so she wouldn't have to look over the books at the blonde Genin, who was hurrying to close up to her. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, what are _you_ doing here?" The Uzumaki countered. "You've been gone for quite a while."

"I know," she sighed, already having a guilty conscience because of relying on Ino to baby-sit for such a long time. "Tsunade sent me to the library to get a couple of books for her and once I returned she had another list of books I'll need for my exam." She lifted the books a bit higher for emphasis, while a grimace contorted her features.

"_Exam_? Are you taking the Chunin exam as well?" he asked excitedly, hoping to have at least someone there he knew. But why did she need books? Reading something would be about the last thing he'd do in order to prepare himself. Reading was pretty much the last thing he'd do period.

"Nuh-uh. I'm a Chunin already, remember? I'll take a medical exam."

"Oh…"

Yet another person who had something to do.

"Well, I'd help you carry your books, but I'm on my way to Tsunade."

"Never mind, they're not that heavy."

"Next time then." Naruto smiled apologetically. "See you around." He grinned and walked off, towards the big red building, Tsunade resided in.

There's been a time when he's been here pretty much every day, always with a request on his lips. At the beginning pretty random requests for more and most importantly better, more dangerous missions. Then the requests for permission to go after Sasuke. Then again requests for better missions and then at some point he gave up. He still wasn't happy with how things were going, but over all these years his requests haven't really gotten him anywhere; _that_ he had come to realise, which is probably why he didn't show up here without an invitation. Once he had one, there was enough time to complain, but often enough he thought _why__bother_?

He surely had changed. And now he went to Tsunade to ask her to let him enter the Chunin exams instead of complaining. But it was a request nevertheless. Maybe he hadn't changed that much after all…

"Oi, Tsunade-baa-chan!" Naruto hollered as he entered the Godaime's office, but stopped then, as he saw that she was by no means alone.

"Uzumaki Naruto," Koharu, a member of the village's council, croaked in her craggy voice, "Brash as always."

"What do you want, Naruto?" Tsunade just ignored the old woman's remark, so Naruto decided to do the same. The Hokage looked sullen enough and he could fully understand her. This Koharu wasn't the nice kind of granny.

"I want you to sign me up for the next Chunin exams."

Straightforward and honest. Naruto has never been one for indirectness and politeness strategies, which is why he usually appeared rude; even to the people who knew him. But now that he was a hero, a _star_, people simply dismissed his behaviour as eccentricity.

"That is not possible," Koharu responded before Tsunade even had a chance to and at once drew Naruto's attention to herself.

"And why is that?" He glowered at her from the corner of his eyes, but the old woman seemed rather unfazed.

"Because there is no such thing taking place in Konoha this year."

"What?" Naruto's eyes widened, but the initial surprise was soon replaced by pure, raw anger. If there was one thing he couldn't stand then that was being lied to. "What are you talking about? I heard some people talk about them!"

"You had better check your sources the next time," Koharu replied calmly, while all Tsunade did was stare at a point in space, somewhere beside Naruto's angry face.

"Bu-"

"-Do you really think that after what happened, we would organise something as laborious as a showcase exam?"

This all corresponded to the truth, which is why Tsunade didn't interfere. What they didn't tell him though was that this year the Chunin exam didn't take place in Konoha, but Kumo Gakure.

Naruto obviously didn't know that they wouldn't have allowed him to get a higher rank anyway. His Genin status served as a solid excuse to keep him from taking part in dangerous missions and Konoha's council was of the opinion to have it stay that way and thought it was for the best. Tsunade however was of a different mind. Her main concern wasn't Naruto's physical well being; she was rather concerned about the day he would finally become aware of the web of lies they had woven around him.

She already knew that they were doing him wrong with their overprotective treatment, but she dreaded the day he would know as well.

* * *

><p>Shushuya – probably the most popular pub there was in the Hidden Leaf, was about as full as it was every evening, regardless of weekday or weekend. There were many wooden booths, like in a restaurant, where the customers could enjoy the rather limited range of dishes being served here, the spicy smells of which permeated the air and excited the senses. Most of the people didn't come for food though, which is why almost every single stool at the bar was occupied and people had to settle for the regular tables after all, although they didn't bring that typical bar-vibe across. It somehow felt different to get drunk while sitting at a long bar with people around you who did the same, or if you did so while sitting at a table all by yourself.<p>

The more advanced the hour, the harder it was to get one of the popular seats and many people, mainly men, already stood in queue, waiting for someone to go home or get carried out, it didn't really matter how they left, as long as they did. Even so, the man entering Shushuya at one of its busiest hours, didn't bother to get in line, but walked with deliberate steps to the end of the bar and came to a halt in front of an empty but obviously reserved stool.

"Nara"

"Uchiha," Shikamaru nodded, without looking up and shoved one of the two glasses towards the free space next to him. Without asking any questions, Sasuke sat down and closed his hand around the glass and there they sat now, both with their eyes directed at the array of colourful bottles at the wall in front of them, while they let the din of their surroundings wash over their minds. Despite the general noise level the silence between them was not quite uncomfortable and didn't seem in need of breaking, although talking was actually what they were here for, but that had time.

Silently they drained their sake in a perfectly synchronous motion and in a matter of seconds their glasses were full again though no one had asked for a refill. There just wasn't any need to, which was probably the whole charm of these occasional get-togethers. They had company without being forced to act the way you did when you had company; isolated togetherness in which they could let the day settle into dust with a good drop of liquor – and of course these meetings also served a more serious purpose.

"I sorted through the files you gave me," Shikamaru eventually broke the noisy and yet profound silence, "It's gonna be a tough piece of work and you'll definitely need more people."

"Hmpf," Sasuke snorted dismissively and revolved his glass in his hand, before he again downed its clear content.

"I'm just telling you how it is." Shikamaru shrugged nonchalantly and lit a cigarette, before offering one to Sasuke as well. His black eyes rested a long time on the offered item and for a moment it seemed as though he actually contemplated taking it, but then he gave the Nara a disgusted look, before he turned away and filled their glasses again and somehow Shikamaru couldn't help smirking. So drinking was okay but smoking wasn't?

"I don't want anyone to get dragged into this."

"It's too late for that."

"Hmpf," Sasuke snorted again, though this time rather with a resigning quality, since he knew the Nara was right. And there went the next round and at length they were beginning to feel the heat crawl up their throats, but it hadn't quite reached their heads yet. It seemed to take longer and longer each time.

"You have anything concrete yet?"

"As I said, it's a tough piece of work," Shikamaru evaded a clear answer and stared straight into his empty glass. "Double or nothing," he said and filled their glasses to the rim. At this rate, they most likely had a long night ahead of them still.

* * *

><p><em>It were the same roads that had only weeks ago taken them away from home and onto the battlefield, straight towards the innocent stretch of land they had turned into a cemetery. The roads were the same, nothing had changed and yet they no longer seemed to be leading anywhere and certainly not home.<em>

_It was a blur of a journey, filled with countless unspoken words, unshed tears and rotten thoughts, until the high town walls crept up on the distant horizon, lacking the sense of security, of comfort, they usually conveyed._

_Their home was almost within reach and they prepared to spread the terrible news. _

_They couldn't have known just then that there was no one left to listen to them._

…

…


	4. Bonds

**4. Bonds**

It was a rare picture to see Team 10 (almost) back together.

The first… _disruption_ happened about three years ago, on the day they had suddenly been left without a team-leader, although the loss ran far deeper than that. As Asuma died, they had not only lost their supervisor, but more or less the essence of their team, their friend, the person they could go to with their every concern and probably the coolest adult they had ever known. It had taken them some time as individuals, but also as a team to recover from the loss; as far as you can possibly recover from the loss of one of the most important people in your life.

Even so, things have never quite been the same again and they have never been foolish enough to even harbour the tiniest scrap of hope of things being otherwise; of just returning to the good ol' days. That day they stopped being children and were forced to learn to look after themselves and look after one another, with no one to rely on, no one to save their hides when necessary, no one to look up to…

It was then that Ino, Shikamaru and Chôji realised that they had no one but each other. They had their families, of course, and their friends, but that just wasn't the same as the bonds they shared as team-mates. Holding on to one another had kept their team from crumbling, although they had been close to it often enough. But over the time they had managed to weather this crisis; they were no longer Team Asuma, though, but still Asuma's team and even without a fixed supervisor to guide them, they still had their parents and their reputation to use as an example; the famous Ino-Shika-Chô.

They had grown very close to each other after Asuma's death; it was the shared grief and the knowledge of meeting understanding, which had glued them together, almost as though they were siblings, linked by blood, rather than the far more fragile bonds of friendship. They had spent almost every waking hour together, they had come to know each other perfectly, to the point of communicating via mere looks and gestures instead of words.

They used to be a unit; the perfect example of teamwork; in the last year however, ever since the destruction of Konoha, they had grown further and further apart. It seemed as though Pain had managed to destroy more than just a few buildings… Ino had her boyfriend, her own house to keep and then also her family's flower shop and all of that didn't leave much time for anything else – or any_one_ else, for that matter. Shikamaru had his genius mind, which was both a blessing and a curse; his sharp intellect enabled him to see through basically every problem he encountered, but having great abilities was usually linked to great responsibility. These days, Shikamaru was usually buried in more work than a single person could possibly cope with. And Chôji-

-_Chôji,_ he was the one who suffered the most from the full time schedule of his team-mates. He did not have a partner and he was not blessed with an IQ that promoted him, in spite of his age, to one of the Hokage's personal assistants. All Chôji had at the moment was a lot of free time and he couldn't say he was happy about it. With Shikamaru always otherwise busy they were rarely sent out on missions in the initial constellation. They rarely trained together and their once so famous teamwork had definitely suffered; was nothing but ordinary now. It fulfilled everyone's expectation; except their own maybe and not their parents' either. They had even stopped or maybe forgotten their ritual of going eating together after a mission. Even right after Asuma's death they had done so and tried to concentrate on the happy memories they owed to the person who used to occupy the now blatantly empty seat at the table, instead of just focusing on the absence which unfortunately enough wasn't merely reduced to a physical level. It never quite worked, to be honest, but it's the thought that counts.

Lately, however, no one seemed to have any thoughts left to spare on anything other than their own concerns.

It was sad, and as he stood there, with his team-mates in the Hokage's office, Chôji wondered if he was the only one who felt that way about it…

"I have a mission for you," Tsunade started without beating around the bush, which immediately caused the three shinobi to straighten their backs in order to hide the mixed feelings that overcame them at the Hokage's words. It has been quite a while since they have been sent out together…

"A B-rank one."

"B-B-rank…?" Ino gulped and moved her clear blue eyes nervously from side to side.

"Is there a problem?"

This question drew her team-mates' attention to the Yamanaka in an instant and at that moment everyone in the rather crammed office was probably wondering about the same question: was there a problem?

"N-no," the blonde negated, not in her most convincing of tones, but it would do for the moment. It had to…

"Good," Tsunade nodded, but kept her amber eyes intently fixed on the only other female being in the room, as she started to explain, "The niece of the daimyô of the Fire Country is about to marry in Tanzaku Castle. She'll be travelling with valuable goods and her marriage has never been treated as secret, so it can be assumed that many criminals will try to get their hands on her luggage, or even on Sora-san herself. It is your duty to prevent that and make sure she reaches the wedding altar without any incidents. She'll be surrounded by her regular bodyguards, but in view of the situation her uncle also requested aid by shinobi."

Tsunade waited some time for them to digest the information before she asked, "Any questions?"

"Yes," Shikamaru sighed, his fingers twitching beside his pocket in which he stored Asuma's lighter. "Why us?"

_That__had__to__come_, Tsunade thought. Shikamaru was by no means the lazy, indolent boy he used to be, but he knew he had other duties to take care of, so of course he asked: why them?

"There is no other team available."

"What about Team 7?" Ino asked quickly. "I know they have nothing to do."

She knew from Sayuri, who had told her how glad she was that Sasuke had a few days off and she knew from Naruto who had wailed about having a few days off. He'd just _love_ to do this mission.

"Kakashi isn't there, and neither is Yamato."

"It's not like we have a sensei with us either," Chôji murmured in grim notes, which didn't fit to his usually so soft voice at all. He was the gentle giant (except when someone actually mentioned his rather _gigantic_ physical dimensions) and if they hadn't been so shocked by the blunt content of his words, his team-mates might have wondered about when exactly Chôji had come to sound so bitter.

"This isn't a negotiation!" Tsunade cut in angrily and slammed her flat hand on the table. "I am the Hokage of Konoha Gakure and as the Hokage I'm assigning this mission to you. So unless there aren't any questions, then go and get ready. You are to reach the daimyô's residence by this afternoon."

"Understood," they murmured in unison and bowed their heads a little deeper than usual in order to hide their expressions.

"Then you are dismissed," the blonde woman snapped in terse notes, but the moment every single member of Team 10 had departed her office, a sigh escaped her lips and her beforehand so tense expression collapsed in on itself and gave way to a mere look of weariness.

It was impossible to live up to everyone's expectations and yet it seemed to be generally expected of her to do exactly that. There were those teams who would rather stay in the village and resort to calm tasks and those who were raring to get out and put the results of their years of training to use. Team 7 couldn't leave the village without a sensei by their side and Team 10 couldn't stay in the village despite having no sensei either.

That's politics and although Tsunade knew exactly that all the precautions concerning Team Kakashi, or rather one special member of it, were unnecessary, there were other people who didn't share that opinion and at the moment Tsunade was on too fragile a post to fall out with what little supporters she still had among the higher-ups of Konoha.

For a Hokage, Tsunade seemed to have very little influence in the village she was said to lead. She neither lived up to anyone else's expectations, nor to her own.

* * *

><p>It was a nice house, the one Ino and Kiba had chosen for themselves. It was just big enough to not feel crowded with them and Akamaru inside, but it wasn't so big that you felt lonely when there was no one else around. She didn't really think that was possible anyhow, since she was surrounded by her personal things – almost everything belonged to her or had at least been chosen by her. It was pretty hard to tell that there was actually a man living in this house. The pastel coloured walls, ranging from vanilla, over salmon to lavender, the light furniture and all the pillows and flowers and other sundries definitely did make their home look pretty girlish and she loved it.<p>

She loved coming home, because she really felt at home here. At first she had been a little sceptical about living together with Kiba – a _man_. He was chaotic; someone who left dirty dishes stand in the sink for days or threw his dirty clothes on the floor and waited for some magical creatures to clean them and put them neatly folded into his wardrobe, whereas Ino needed orderliness (and whether he knew it or not, _she_ was the one responsible for the mysterious appearance of clean laundry in the two little shelves of _her_ wardrobe, she had kindly left to him). He liked staying up late, whereas she went to bed at a set time and wanted him to do so as well, so he wouldn't wake her when he at length decided to go to bed as well. He always left the toilet seat up and she had often enough caught him 'forgetting' to wash his hands, which just grossed her out. And now that they were living together, he saw how much time she really needed in the bathroom and always dropped comments about natural beauty and stuff. Then he was a dog person, whereas she was a cat person (although she'd never tell him) oh, and she wanted a baby whereas he didn't, although that was a rather new turn of events.

There were just so many things that had spoken against their moving together, but in the end it worked out and she was glad they had done so – although there were still a few quirks she had to get him to quit, but she was quite confident about the success of her secret mission, which had started a short time after they came together.

Kiba wasn't there at the moment, though, he hasn't been home since quite a while, so Ino was all alone in her flowerbed of a bedroom as she packed her things for her mission. There were red roses, the flowers of love, on her vanity table and in a high vase beside her mirror, then violets, which stood for faithfulness, on the windowsill and dried lavender on their bedside table, to help them fall asleep. She had grown up among flowers and just needed them around her; she didn't really care what Kiba thought about that, but up to now he has been clever enough not to voice any complaints towards that matter.

She had almost written one of these long, loving notes, almost a letter really, the way she always did when she went away, so that in case he returned before her, he knew where she was and knew that she missed him. She had already pulled out a sheet of paper and searched for a pen, when she remembered that she was still mad at him and therefore Ino's _letter_, was really nothing than a mere note this time.

_I'm gone._

That seemed vague enough to make Kiba think about it a little. He'd have to see for himself what he'd make of it and Ino hoped it was going into the for her right (so actually wrong) direction and he would think she had left him.

There wasn't much time left, but as Ino sat there on the soft white rug in front of her wardrobe, packing her things for a mission she didn't want to attend in the first place, she imagined another kind of turn her life could take. She imagined herself sitting here, packing toys in a box, instead of kunai into her backpack. She saw herself put on an apron, with red and white checks on it, instead of her weapon pouch. When she left her cosy flower paradise behind, she did not do so to head for the exit of the village, but a playground and as Ino reached the gates and waited for Shikamaru and Chôji, she imagined these were the gates of a kindergarten and she was actually waiting along with the other mothers to pick up her child. In her imagination Ino was smiling, day in and day out, because she had every reason to.

As her team-mates appeared on the scene, they did not meet the Ino of her imagination though (how could they even know of her without intruding into her head?). The Ino they found was the Ino of reality and that one stood with her eyes closed and her fists clenched in shaky balls by her side. Whenever facing a mission, all confidence seemed to leave the usually so self-assured blonde, and she rarely had a smile or any words to offer to her team-mates.

They all had changed, for the better and for the worse as well, but despite the strong bonds that used to connect them, no one felt obliged to address any of these things. They all knew something was troubling her, for quite a while actually, but Ino never asked them for help or confided in them, so they didn't say anything either.

There were things you just didn't talk about. Not even as friends (?)

* * *

><p>It was late in the afternoon already, or actually early evening, but the sun still stood high in the cloudless sky, dousing the land in a golden sheen. There wasn't a single cloud in the vast blue firmament, and it was hard to imagine that in no less than a few hours, night would stake its claim and cloak the world in darkness again. The weather invited everyone to spend the day outside, and so it was not surprising that Hinata, in spite of having returned from her mission barely three hours ago, did not go to bed already to restore her energy after the long journey, but was taking a walk through the village, meeting the bright beams of the sun with a subdued beam of her own.<p>

She was glad to finally be back. It hasn't really been an exhausting or challenging mission, but it could have been, and the tension related to the importance of their task had frayed their nerves more than enough. The _failure-is-inexcusable_ parole had been repeated a few too many times for them to even take into consideration to relax. And then, especially among the boys, there has been some sort of competitive struggle; they hadn't wanted to show any weakness in front of the other group in spite of not knowing who they were or where they came from. With Kiba that hadn't surprised her all that much, but Shino… It definitely was uncanny for him to resort to such behaviour, but then with the high testosterone level in the air it had been easy to get carried away. Hinata herself, the only present girl, had made a point of not looking idle when there was someone of the other team around; although that was quite hard since they hadn't done anything but watch the lake each and every day.

Or well… the others had watched the lake; Hinata had watched what was dwelling _within_ the lake. None of the others had seen what she saw, she was pretty sure of that, and it had made her understand all the secrecy and why they haven't been there on their own, but with a squad from an unknown country. She had shared that knowledge with her team of course and they have been no less stunned about knowing just what they were guarding and probably against whom.

A really scary thought to entertain.

But in the end nothing happened and she was back home now after having just completed an S-rank mission. Others might see that as quite an accomplishment, but Hinata would not pride herself with having watched a lake for a week; although she had been successful at that. And even though it didn't really feel like they had done much of anything, every single member of her team would get an S-rank mission counted to their mission stats. A pretty high reward in consideration of how little they had done, but it would never cross Hinata's mind to complain.

Lost in recollection, Hinata strolled through Konoha's streets, her eyes fastened on the ground, when she was really not looking at anything, but walked where her feet led her. She barely took notice of any familiar faces in the crowd surrounding her and from time to time she heard someone call her name, which always made her start up and look around hectically, searching for the caller, while she already thought up apologies to excuse her slowness of reaction. She didn't want anyone to feel hurt just because she happened to be a little preoccupied.

In spite of that, half an hour later, the Hyûga had run into one or actually two persons, who were now accompanying her on her mindless stroll, forcing her to stay in the here and now, but that was quite easy and also pleasant with company.

"So, when did you get back?" Sayuri asked and steered her buggy to the right, as Hinata took a sudden turn.

"Only a couple of hours ago," Hinata replied and pushed a strand of her long, indigo hair out of her pale face, as they were now walking against the mild wind, which carried the smell of dried grass with it. It hadn't rained in quite a while.

"Oh, you must be exhausted."

"N-no, never mind that." She shook her head quickly. "We took many breaks on our way back."

"That's good…" Sayuri replied plainly, while all she could think about was how she envied the Hyûga. She wanted to go on missions, too, and then come back and act like they hadn't affected her at all. But one step at a time; first she would take her exam, the one she should be studying for this very moment, and then, some day, she might become a ninja again. She was mostly looking forward to that day-

-except for when she looked at her son that is…

Hinata led the way around another corner. For someone who said she only wanted to walk around and enjoy the day, she seemed to have a pretty concrete idea about where to go to and Sayuri was pretty sure she knew about her destination and it caused the corners of her lips to curl up with mirth.

And as it seemed she had been right with her guess, because ere long, they were heading towards the northern part of the village, where all the training grounds were located. She wondered if that happened to have something to do with the fact that she mentioned that Sasuke and Naruto were training there at the moment and probably not much longer, which might explain Hinata's hasty pace. Well, well… who knew? But there was no point asking, because before admitting that she just wanted to see Naruto, she'd probably choke on her own tongue.

"Hey, look! That's Sasuke and Naruto over there!" Sayuri said, once they were a bit closer to the training grounds, as though it really surprised her to see them there. "Mind if we go to them a little?"

"Uh? N-no, not at all," Hinata shook her head quickly and there definitely was a look of relief on her face. She had probably waited for her to propose that, so she wouldn't have to say anything herself. Her shyness was almost ridiculous, considering that Hinata had already confessed her love to Naruto and they all knew it, even Naruto did, but he still didn't seem to know just how to go on about it… what that meant for him now… how he felt about her… Almost as though her confession never happened, but it was probably better that way. There was less pressure like this…

They marched onto the training fields, which were mere meadows with a few trees here and there, careful as they passed some of the other groups that were using the nice weather for a training session. Once they were close, but not too close, to _their_ men, they sat down on the sun-warmed, not to say burned grass and Sayuri took Mikan out of his buggy and put him on her lap.

"Look, Sai-kun is there, too." Hinata pointed at the pale man, who was at the moment sparring with Sasuke.

"Oi! Hinata-chan! Sayuri-chan!" Naruto hollered and waved his arms, as he noticed their spectators. "Hey, watch this!" he shouted and pressed his fingers together to form a seal, but before he had a chance to do anything, a black and white lion, made of ink, jumped on his back and buried the blonde under him.

"Pretty good, Naruto," Sayuri giggled. "But you'll have to work on your landing still."

Mikan, too, was laughing, as he watched how the Uzumaki tried to shove the lion off him, while stammering a string of half-choked-off curses. She had no idea what it was about babies, but they loved to see others suffering. Hinata, however, didn't have one sadistic vein in her body. In spite of how comical a picture the blonde posed, she watched him with an anxious face and a hand clamped over her mouth, as though she had to stifle a worried outcry.

"You like that, huh?" Sayuri grinned and pulled up her son's cap, to place a kiss on the feathery wisps of his deep black hair that refused to be tamed, before she pulled it down again, to shield him from the hot rays of the sun. "There, watch your daddy and baka Naruto. Say baka Naruto."

"Hey!" Said idiot screamed and finally pushed the lion off him and in a matter of seconds he was already crouching in front of them, giving Sayuri a scandalised look. "Don't teach him that! Say Hokage."

And now they all watched the little boy expectantly, waiting for him to do something other than laughing and hiding his face in his hands (which didn't quite work, considering the difference in size).

"Ho—ka—ge…" Naruto said slowly, mindful to mouth every single syllable distinctly, so it would be easier for his unofficial nephew to copy him.

"…ba…ba…" Mikan babbled eventually and clapped his hands triumphantly, as he heard the girls around him squeal and he was cuddled from all sides. Only Naruto looked like a beaten dog, which wasn't even so far fetched; he definitely had taken a beating already.

"There! He said _baka_!" Sayuri exclaimed, feeling a sense of pride swell within her chest about the abilities of her son, although she very well knew that he hadn't really repeated what they had said; ba-ba just happened to be his favourite constellation of syllables, but Naruto didn't know that.

"He didn't say baka, he said ba-ba – that's nothing!" Naruto pouted and rose to his feet again, scowling down at the little boy.

"Well, we all know what he meant and it was definitely not Hokage," the young mother defended her son's accomplishment. It really was nothing yet; he was babbling around all the time, but that was the beginning of being able to communicate. In a few months from now he might be able to speak his first actual words and also know what they mean. He was growing so fast; no wonder that Sasuke was afraid of missing out on something.

"Was that ink pet too much for you, dobe?" Sasuke appeared beside the blonde, who was at that moment busy with patting the dust off his clothes, but stopped short in his movement, due to the not exactly subtle accusation.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto piped up and watched his team-mate with a cross face as he began to justify himself, "I just had to keep your girlfriend from dragging my name through the mud."

"And that after you were literally dragged through the mud before," Sasuke said without a trace of amusement on his face and shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark-blue training attire.

"Watch out or I'll drag you through the whole training field."

"Try it," Sasuke shrugged and sat down next to Sayuri. He placed a hand on Mikan's head and ruffled his cap, before he leaned closer to his girlfriend and gave her a brief kiss.

That was another novelty. Sasuke had never thought much about open displays of affections in public. It's not like they just made out or anything, but even these innocent kisses have been rare, when they were among other people. He had kissed her when they hadn't seen each other for a day or week(s), but now they had only been separated for maybe four hours, and yet here he was, kissing her without any regard for the blushing Hinata right next to them, who did her best to look into another direction and pretend she wasn't even there.

"Was that too harsh?" Sai questioned the Uzumaki as he joined their group. "Maybe you'd do better to just sit here with the other girls and watch."

"What do you mean with _other_? I'm not a girl you dumbass!"

Instead of responding, Sai merely watched the blonde, sizing him up from head to toe and only as he finished his scrutiny after about half a minute, did he finally respond, "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am! What is there to ask?"

"Well, at first you-"

"Oh, cut it out!" Naruto interrupted him sharply, his cheeks coloured an angry red. "How about we let actions speak instead?"

"I'm in."

"C'mon! Get up Sasuke!"

"No," The Uchiha replied blandly and at once drew everyone's attention to himself, but he's never had problems with that. "Let's call it a day."

"What? First you make fun of me and now you chicken out?"

"Unlike you, I don't feel like I have anything to prove."

"Tze, say what you want, but I know chicken when I see it," Naruto snarled and began to do a little chicken-dance.

"If you had any idea how ridiculous you look you wouldn't do that."

"Seriously," Sai seconded the Uchiha, "not really manly."

"Oh, screw you two," Naruto sulked and crossed his arms in front of his chest defensively.

That figured; although none of them liked Sai and it was impossible to tell if Sai liked one of them in turn, he still sided with Sasuke. Ever since that day the Uchiha locked him in his Genjutsu, Sai was sucking up to him. He seemed to have a whole lot of respect for Sasuke's abilities, or he was plain scared. Chickens. He was surrounded by chickens, so it wasn't surprising that they teamed up. Birds of a feather flock together, right?

Still sulking, Naruto watched how Sasuke took his son from Sayuri, before he helped her to her feet. She moaned about a rip in his clothes, but she didn't seem serious about that, on the contrary, she was beaming at him. So much to his chicken… Sasuke just wanted to spend some time with his family, which still seemed weird to Naruto; after all he knew the Uchiha since they were kids and he's never been one to care for anyone but himself or someone who'd skip something that might help him get stronger. He definitely liked this Sasuke better than the old one, at least when he wasn't behaving like a complete dumbass.

The pout slowly vanished from his face and was replaced by a smirk, as he watched his old team-mates put their son back into his buggy. He looked past them then, at Hinata who was still sitting on the ground, her pale eyes focused on the two as well, but she seemed too absent-minded to actually be looking at them. She could just as well be a statue, she was calm and inconspicuous enough for that; wherever she was, she just seemed to blend into her surroundings. She'd be one hell of a spy. And she was nice and pretty. Pretty Hinata who loved him.

"Hey how about we go eating together, I'm starving!" Naruto proposed and rubbed his stomach to lend weight to his statement. "My treat of course – _except__for__you__two_," he added under his breath and glowered at the other two men. "What do you say?"

"Uhm… sure why not," Sayuri shrugged, after having exchanged a quick glance with the Uchiha.

"Yes," Sai agreed and now there was just one person left.

"Hinata-chan?" He turned towards the Hyûga, whose cheeks were tinted a light pink and Naruto wondered if his cheeks were, too. His heart had picked up its pace in any case. It had been easy for him to ask Sakura out over and over again, because he had been sure she'd say no anyway and well they were team-mates, but with Hinata that was entirely different and maybe he was just a bit of a coward after all. Another chicken – gosh he really had to stop that before he'd reduce Konoha Gakure to a mere henhouse.

"O-okay," Hinata nodded with a lowered head, trying her utmost to counteract a worsening of her facial colour by telling herself that this was just a random invitation. He had invited their whole group and she was a part of this group and Naruto wasn't entirely impolite so of course he had included her in his invitation. Nothing to get worked up about.

"Awesome!" Naruto grinned and watched Hinata sit there on the ground with her pale eyes fastened on the grass to her feet and her fingers fumbling nervously. She was one weird girl, but he somehow liked it that she wasn't like everyone else, although it was also awfully frustrating at times.

"Uhm, there."

He offered her his hand awkwardly, the way he had seen Sasuke do it, but from how Hinata flinched, he might have just as well been holding a hand with chicken poop under her nose – damn, he just couldn't leave it.

"N-nevermind," Naruto dropped his hand again, but then lifted it to scratch the back of his head sheepishly, just so he had something to do with his hands and wouldn't look like a complete idiot. He really couldn't blame Hinata for being a little shy; when it came to these kinds of things there wasn't much left of his self-confidence either.

"I-I didn't… I didn't mean…" Hinata stammered and really felt like crying with frustration right now. Here was Naruto finally making a step into her direction (it wasn't the first time actually, but that was easy to forget in a situation such as this one) and she had nothing better to do than hurt his feelings with her reaction. Sometimes she really hated to be herself. Far too often to pass as normal actually.

"Where are we going anyway?" Sayuri asked to divert the attention from Hinata, who had now risen to her feet by herself, but somehow she still looked just as small as she had when she had still been sitting. Height had to be a relative thing.

"To Ichiraku of course!"

That they even had to ask… After all it was commonly known that he was _rather_ fond of ramen and also that he was usually broke and ever since he helped building up the new Ichiraku, he ate there for free, so everyone who was able to put one and one and one together, should have known where they'd end up.

"Then let's go," Sasuke sighed and not even a minute later they had packed up all their things and were on their way to the ramen restaurant, which wasn't far away from the training grounds. A really clever choice of location.

They could already see the new Ichiraku in the distance; it pretty much looked like the old one, with the only difference that it was a little bigger and there were a few bar tables in front of it as well, just in case there'd be more customers than would fit inside. At the moment that didn't seem to be a problem though.

"Oh, this doesn't look good," Sayuri moaned as they had nearly reached their destination.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked, his voice a bit louder than the average conversation volume, since he at once related Sayuri's statement to the institution which offered his soon-to-be meal and he couldn't quite keep his cool when it came to that.

"He's making that face. I bet he needs a diaper change. We better go home." She gave Sasuke a meaningful look, before she offered the others an apologetic smile, which crumbled a little as she heard Sai murmur something like: _how__can__she__even__see__that__from__there_?

"I'm sorry."

Well actually she wasn't. Those two really needed all the help they could get and right now the best thing they could do for them was giving them some privacy. They've been on so many of these unofficial dates with other people as camouflage and yet they somehow didn't dare call them that and that seemed really ridiculous because (to her at least) it was obvious that Naruto was having a crush on the Hyuga and Hinata had even confessed her love already, so she had no idea why they kept on tap-dancing around each other.

Easy to say for her now, after she had gotten over her hours (more like months actually) of tap-dancing herself. But then she's had a more domineering partner, who had taken the lead from the start, whereas Naruto was too busy with apologising for trampling on feet all the time to even concentrate on what he was doing.

"Too bad," the blonde sighed, but as he saw the slight grin on Sayuri's face, just before she turned her back on him, he knew what this was all about and would have almost protested, but just in time he realised that it actually came quite handy for him. He couldn't just ask Hinata for a date, but if they met with other people and in the end there was no one left but the two of them that was totally okay. No pressure, neither for him nor for her. Then he'd finally have a chance to find out if he liked Hinata _like__that_ now or not. But there was one problem still…

"Err, Sai," Naruto turned around to the ANBU, who had been quietly walking a step behind them, which is why he had almost forgotten he was there at all, which happened rarely enough. "Didn't you say you had something to do, too? Something… at home…remember?"

"No. I remember no such thing," Sai said, after a moment of contemplative silence on his part.

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked emphatically and winked at Sai repeatedly, but as it seemed he wasn't familiar with the secret language of winking.

"Yes I am. Now that they are gone, you can treat me instead of Sayuri."

"Forget it!" The Uzumaki barked, not just a little frustrated that Sai didn't get the hint and he couldn't be any more conspicuous with Hinata right beside him.

So, not even ten minutes later, they all sat at the bar, more or less enthusiastically eating their free meal. Sai had his usual smile on his face; hard to say if he was happy or not. Hinata looked mostly uncomfortable and seemed almost too nervous to even navigate her chopsticks to her mouth. Naruto, he looked mostly annoyed and kept casting one glare after another at his unwanted team-mate. He hadn't said anything but '_three__miso__ramen__with__roasted__pork__filet__'_ and considering that he usually couldn't keep his mouth shut to save his life that struck Hinata as rather peculiar and she wondered if it was maybe her fault (whenever something happened she at first wondered if she had done something wrong and only after excluding that option did she search for the actual reason).

"What is it, Naruto-kun?" Sai asked after he had finished his serving of noodle soup. "I've never seen you so quiet. Does it have something to do with Hinata-chan?"

_Oh God, so it does!_

"Tze—hardly," Naruto pressed his teeth together, to keep the truth from spluttering out of his mouth and he'd really like to hurl some bits of truth at the ANBU, but that seemed hardly appropriate now; not with how tense the mood was anyhow.

"Are you shy? Or are you maybe insecure about the length of your manhood?" Sai asked the way someone might ask after the time and the other two were too stunned to respond to that or put a stop to his verbal outpour. "I bet Hinata-chan won't mind but-"

"SAI! Shut the hell up!" Naruto barked and swung his chopsticks into the air to point them at the person he probably hated the most right now. As he did, however, he noticed that they had felt a bit heavier when he raised them than they did now and only as that realisation hit him, did he turn his head towards his bowl, which was now filled with nothing but brew. The noodles were spread all over Hinata's head and as he watched her with a shocked face, stunned speechless, the noodles and vegetable pieces slowly slid down her face. There were even drops gathering at her chin and pieces of meat hanging in the lengths of her hair, falling into the collar of her light blue blouse, which was now speckled with stains of a darker colour.

"…Oh…" Was all Naruto could say. He still hadn't overcome his speechlessness and Hinata seemed utterly speechless herself. There were now two things that could happen: She could either start yelling at him and wipe the floor with him the way Sakura would have done or she could start laughing now, because of how funny the situation actually was, after the first moment of shock had passed – a negative or a positive reaction.

As he waited for it to happen and thought of an apology, Hinata had already shot to her feet and was running out of the bar.

"H-Hinata-chan! I'm sorry!" he hollered but doubted that she still heard him. He had messed up.

With a frustrated sigh, Naruto slumped back down on his barstool and dropped his forehead on the table, just beside his half empty bowl.

"I don't think she liked that," Sai mused and watched how Naruto turned his face into his direction and if looks could kill, Sai would have now been struck down by the nastiest food poisoning there has ever been in the history of mankind.

"This is all your fault," Naruto groused and turned his face back around to stare at the wooden bar counter with its blurry grains.

"Wow, you really messed up, Naruto." Teuchi, the owner of Ichiraku Ramen Bar, seemed to have telekinetic abilities, because he voiced the exact thing Naruto was thinking. Although after what happened, it shouldn't be hard to draw that very conclusion.

"Don't say…" Naruto grumbled and exhaled noisily.

Another missed chance. He knew that he was sort of…well… attracted to her. She wasn't this eye catching beauty, like Ino or Sakura were for example. Hinata was more like a secret treasure, you could only see when you were actually looking for it. But it wouldn't do for Naruto to just find her pretty – he wasn't that superficial. What good did it do him to have a good-looking girlfriend if they didn't have anything in common? He didn't seem to know a thing about the Hyûga, at least nothing personal and he couldn't remember ever having exchanged more than three or four sentences with her at a stretch, so how could he know they wouldn't bore each other in case they should actually, on one fine day, manage to stumble into a real conversation? What if they found out they had nothing to say to each other?

At this rate they were never going to find out.

* * *

><p>It has almost become a habit of hers to be waking up in the middle of the night. A moonless night it was and so their whole bedroom was doused in velvety blackness, although to Sayuri it felt much harder than that. And when the darkness was already hurting like it had sharp, jagged edges that were drilling into her skull, then she didn't even want to imagine what even the slightest bit of light would do to her, do to her head that felt like a war zone at the moment.<p>

It was with an unreasonable amount of effort that Sayuri raised her hand over her eyes. Despite the darkness she knew it was shaking.

Still drowsy from the dearth of sleep and with her senses clouded by a pain-induced haze, she sleepwalked her way into the bathroom, as she most often did. She was awake though, but practically blinded by a searing pain right behind her eyes. That is why she kept them closed, to ease the strain and shuffled to the sink, where she opened a cabinet and pulled out a box of pills. She didn't even bother to rearrange everything she had knocked over while searching for what she wanted. What she needed. She swallowed the big, white pill without any water; afraid that when she leant down she wouldn't be able to get up any longer.

She didn't waste any time on waiting for the effect to set in, knowing that it would happen sooner than she might like and so she slouched back into bed, as quickly as her dazed and above all disoriented form allowed and lay back down at the pre-warmed spot on the mattress. Her eyes were closed as she waited for her medication to flood her head like a deluge of thick, black syrup, drowning the pain and every other feeling underneath and weighing her down into a dream-free sleep. She was almost there when Sasuke pulled her close, not blessed with an undisturbed sleep either.

"Again?" His voice drifted against her forehead, but she almost couldn't hear it anymore. Almost forgot what he asked, before being able to come up with a response.

"Hmm…" Was her sole reply, as much as she was capable of or thought herself capable of, and then she hid her face in the crook of his neck, giving herself up to the blackness.

She never heard what else he said.

* * *

><p><em>Something was certainly missing.<em>

_Air?_

_A sense of reality?_

_A heartbeat?_

_It was a certain something that has been there all the time, but must have been lost on that fateful day. The absence of this one thing didn't seem too remarkable, barely worth noticing and it surely didn't stop the world from turning. So where was the point in looking for it? Where to get the strength, the **will**, for such a futile action? Any action?_

_She no longer recognised this place and neither did this place recognise her. It felt unreal to walk down these once so familiar streets without knowing them at all- **she** felt unreal. As though she's never really been here… has never really lived…_

"_What happened here?" the girl asked, her voice too shocked to even tremble._

"_The inevitable." Was the prompt answer._

_He started walking then, over burned grass, littered with crumbs of dried blood, rusty weapons and masses of corpses. He was a fine shinobi. The broken shards of his family didn't even cause him to stagger, when she couldn't possibly ignore the glass in her feet._

_Everything she ever had had melted and sprawled in pools of crimson beneath her feet. A river foaming with blood with remnants of the past floating on the shallow surface like oil, refusing to blend with the water. Shallow as it was, she didn't think she could keep her head above water much longer, when he seemed to be walking across it, as though it was a red-tinted mirror._

_A fine shinobi? She only thought him cruel._

"_Even the children…"_

_It was air._

_It was a sense of reality._

_But it wasn't **one** heartbeat – it were dozens._

_In her mental calendar there was a note that marked this day as the end of her life._

…

…


	5. Lies

**5. Lies**

As of late, the Land of Fire really lived up to its name. It was the end of June and summer had made its sweltering entrance, accompanied by high temperatures, cloudless skies, exceedingly long sun hours and not a single drop of rain in almost a month. Usually the summers in and around Konoha were rather moderate, but this year, early as it was still, people were actually afraid of forest fires – it was dry enough for that. Especially farmers were unhappy because they feared for their crops; everyone else seemed rather content with the temperatures still – at least as long as they didn't have to do anything under the glare of the broiling sun. The ninja for example, oftentimes dressed in thick attires and laden with heavy baggage, could think of many things they'd prefer to carrying out their missions in what seemed to be a colossal oven, just without the possibility of turning it off.

The sun had climbed into the sky, only just high enough to peek over the thick foliage of the many trees, lining the road, but it was hot enough already to mistake it for a more advanced hour. Fact is though that it was only just nine o'clock and Team 10 merely had another two hours left to bring the bride to the altar.

They made a big procession. Up front was one of the regular bodyguards the daimyô had hired to protect his niece. After him came the first men who carried a part of Sora's luggage and that _part_ was more than others possessed in general. Then came another group of bodyguards, surrounding the palanquin with Sora inside. It was a traditional kago carried by two men. It was made of wood and closed from all sides: an oven in an oven; once they reached Tanzaku castle, she was probably well done.

Ino and Shikamaru walked on the right side of the kago, a bit farther off to the wayside and Chôji was walking on the left. After them came yet more men, carrying Sora's possessions. It were so many; they made a really easy target, but even so, they hadn't been attacked yet and they had almost reached their destination, so they kept their fingers crossed that it wouldn't come to any incidents on the final meters. They had noticed that there has been someone hiding in the trees surrounding them from time to time, but maybe these people had been intimidated by the size of their group rather than seeing them as many potential victims with far too few defenders. They hadn't told anyone about it, but kept their eyes and ears open, in case they should decide to come back after all, but so far they hadn't.

Their mission ended the moment they reached the castle. Then they were free to either go home or stay behind, watch the marriage and join the festivities, which included a grand buffet that had been prepared by nine of the ten best cooks there were in the whole Fire Country, or at least that is what Chôji said and well, he had his sources, so no point questioning it.

Chôji would most definitely want to stay, because of the food and Ino would probably want to stay as well, because it was a marriage and in that case Shikamaru was clearly outvoted. His other duties would have to wait. He might just as well use the time he was forced to stay here to take a time out and just relax and have a good time, but somehow, as of late, he simply wasn't able to shut down the computer that was his mind; _**he**_, the one who could fall asleep standing or seek distraction in the movement of dust bunnies when he was bored with his task, no longer seemed to be able to simply relax. Just what happened to him and how to make it stop again?

Ino had said he had turned into a workaholic. The surprise in her voice had been hard to miss, and she had begun fretting over him, almost the way his mother used to do, back in the days when he actually spent some time at home without being asleep or having food in his mouth. She groused about his unkempt hair, the stains on his clothes, the nicotine fumes surrounding him, the dark rings under his eyes, the weight he had lost. She often came over and brought food for all of them, knowing that if she didn't, her father would live of nothing but coffee and right she was, he – they all - really did prefer things that could be drunken or eaten without any cutlery, without even having to look at it, so they could keep their full attention focused on one of their various tasks.

And now he was walking here, the coast was clear, the sun shone with just the right degree of warmth and the mild breeze was fresh enough to be pleasant. It was a nice summer day, but instead of letting his mind drift off, he was busy relating this situation to the one he was supposed to organise and supervise in not even two months from now, when they would have to get Konoha's Genin to Kumo Gakure. What would he do when all of this was over? When he suddenly had nothing to do anymore? Just what would he do with his time, when he seemed incapable of enjoying the little things in life the way he always did? It was _so_ bothersome.

As the sun rose higher little by little, the temperatures climbed up as well and you could easily hear how the people carrying their heavy loads began to breathe heavier and heaved occasional sighs of weariness. They hadn't undergone the same training as the present ninja and so the journey took quite a toll on them.

"Phew… let me out. I can't—"

It sounded out of the kago and before anyone had a chance to react, Sora had already lifted up the drape that kept her concealed and was with one foot out of her palanquin.

"Sora-sama!" Ino was a little taken aback by her sudden action, but reacted at once, by offering her a hand and helping her out of the wooden basket.

"I can't stay in there any longer," Sora moaned and dabbed a nicely ornamented piece of cloth to her forehead, which was covered with a slight film of sweat and locks of her curly hair clung to her skin.

"Understandable." Ino nodded and took a look at their client.

She was a pretty tall woman with a lean figure, but a round face. It was white with powder and her lips were a magenta pout. Her eyes were small and almost as dark as her hair, which was pinned up in a high bun, but a few ringlets framed her face and she was still wearing a light Yukata, instead of the heavy Uchikake she would have to put on, once they reached their destination. There wouldn't be much time for her to dress up, so she had better look decent once they arrived. After all she wanted to look good for her husband, whom she'd see for the very first time. At least face-to-face – they had swapped pictures, but even if they hadn't liked what they had seen that wouldn't have made much of a difference. This wasn't a love marriage but an arranged marriage as was common for such old and prestigious families. It was all about politics and power and reputation. Romance? – No sir.

Ino pitied her a little.

"Here, let me just-" Ino raised a hand and picked at Sora's hair to fix it. Then a kunai soared right past the back of her hand.

The two women yelped in shock and the Yamanaka at once pulled her arm back, in the first moment too stunned to even know what to do.

"Ino!" Shikamaru yelled her name to get her out of her stupor and remind her what they were here for and so Ino prepared to place herself in front of Sora, a human shield if it couldn't be helped. That is what Ino wanted to do, what she was supposed to do as a body guard, but she couldn't budge. She stood rooted next to the soon-to-be bride, who now climbed back into her kago, the other bodyguards already around her, their sheer mass posing a better shield than Ino could have possibly done and yet they wouldn't stand a chance, in case the attackers were actually shinobi and not just some random bandits.

"_Bubun __Baika__ no __Jutsu_"

Chôji's arm expanded, until it was almost the size of his whole body and he swung it around like a scythe, sweeping a part of his opponents away like they were but mere grass stalks. Shikamaru in his turn tried to use his shadow sewing technique to bind his opponents. That was the plan at least, but with what little shadows there were at his disposal, he merely reached two of the remaining six men who were all wearing similar light brown attires and black sunglasses.

"Tch," Shikamaru ground his teeth, frustrated about what little he could do right now, so instead of capturing anyone, he used the ink black tentacles, made of mere shadows to fend off the missiles that were hurled their way. He dared a quick glance over his shoulder to assess the situation; Ino was still standing behind him, _hopefully_ guarding Sora, and Chôji was fighting on the other side of the kago which was now surrounded by a cluster of people. Chôji seemed to have his hands full and somehow he didn't think he could expect help from Ino and it wouldn't do if he just kept up their defence.

All at once, Shikamaru's shadow threads flung the weapons they had caught in the course of this fight, at his opponents, while he lifted the two men he had captured into the air and tossed them fiercely against the trees lining the road, hoping that sufficed to knock them out. That is when he released his jutsu and took out his own weapons instead.

With a precision that could only be topped by Tenten, he threw two kunai at the men closest to him. They flew right past them, maybe cutting off the tips of the hair in their faces, but not grazing them otherwise; lulling them into a false sense of security, so they wouldn't expect what came next.

It worked. They didn't even budge as the explosive tags went off right behind them, the force of the explosion hurling them forwards, belly first. The tiniest of smirks tugged at the corners of Shikamaru's lips, lighting up his otherwise so serious face. It was that moment though that he noticed something fast dart past him, right to the kago. A chain!

"Ino!" he yelled and spun around, seeing that his team-mate stood right in the way of the attack, looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck. She wouldn't be able to block the metal chain, he doubted she would even be able to dodge it. Damn it!

Seeing no other choice, Shikamaru pressed his teeth firmly shut and lifted his arm, with a kunai in his hand, so he wouldn't have to touch it directly and could still stop it. The chain wrapped itself around his hand, then going up his arm, a second before it would have reached Ino, and as though that wasn't enough there were spikes on it, which now tore into the skin of his forearm. Seeing that his bait has been taken, the thrower of the chain gave it a pull, like he was fishing and Shikamaru was the foolish catch that had voluntarily swallowed the hook, despite knowing what it was. And they call him genius…

He was thrown to his knees, heard someone call his name, but he didn't have time to think about that; he had to focus on finding a way out of his predicament. With his free hand he grasped for the chain, a little above where it had wrapped itself around his arm, so he could ease the pressure a little and keep the spikes from piercing deeper into his skin. He was almost there now, almost at the feet of his attacker, who had to be twice his size. He saw him pull back his arm, his hand hidden in a big gauntlet with the chain wrapped around it and he was ready to strike at his helpless catch. He hadn't expected though that Shikamaru was by no means as helpless as he looked.

He pulled hard at the chain to bring his legs forward and pulled harder still, despite the pain, to heave himself off the ground, making sure his enemy's punch would miss him, while his feet connected with his stomach, making the man fall backwards and land on his back. Then Chôji was already there and delivered another punch with his oversized fist to the guts of his opponent.

"Just in time," Shikamaru sighed and sat up, beginning to cautiously unwrap the nasty chain from his arm, which felt a little numb already because of the constricted blood flow. Maybe it was better this way, because from the looks of it, it had to hurt like hell.

"Shikamaru! Chôji!" Ino called their names and ran towards her two team-mates, who both greeted her with unreadable looks. It wouldn't be true to say they were angry about the way Ino had stayed out of the fights, but it wouldn't be true to say they weren't the slightest bit angry about it all the same.

"Are you okay?" she asked and scanned her team-mates closely, one hand resting right above her heart which seemed desperate to beat its way right out of her ribcage.

"Is our client okay?" Shikamaru countered without casting a single glance at the blonde.

"Y-yes-yes she is." Ino pulled herself together, but not for long, because it was then that Shikamaru reached the last part of the chain and revealed his bloody forearm underneath it.

"Can you fix it for me?" he asked the medic-nin, as he let the chain drop to the ground, but as he turned his head around to her, he found Ino staring at him with wide eyes, one hand clasped over her mouth. She looked almost green and there was some sort of sheen in her bright blue eyes.

"Ino?" Chôji's face softened, although there was still a perplexed frown on his forehead; his expression resembled that of Shikamaru, which he noticed as they exchanged a questioning look.

"Can you heal my arm?" he repeated again, more distinct now and this time his voice seemed to cut through to the blonde woman.

"S-sure," she stammered finally and closed her eyes while taking a deep breath, before she knelt down before the Nara and held her hands above his bloody arm, letting a bright green light envelop it.

"What's the matter?" he asked what he hadn't asked her in the past months, what he had thought wasn't his job to ask, but now it had gotten worse and there was no way they could just turn a blind eye on Ino's behaviour any longer.

"N-nothing," is what she said, but he could still see that she was trembling.

* * *

><p>It was a huge surprise – to Hinata rather than to anyone else – for the Hyûga to be walking openly through Konoha's streets in broad daylight and that not even twenty-four hours after the<em>grand<em>_faux__pas_ (cloaking the whole incident in foreign words, made it sound a little more positive and less like the cataclysmic embarrassment it has actually been). As so often, she had ruined everything. She had not only embarrassed herself but also Naruto with her childish kneejerk reaction. It has been an accident- an utterly stupid accident and it would have been a molehill if she hadn't decided to make a mountain out of it. So what if in the course of this little, innocent get-together between her and Naruto and Sai a bit of food had landed on her clothes? And her face… and her hair…

She shouldn't have run out of the restaurant.

She should have laughed at Naruto's clumsiness, rather than letting her reaction make everyone believe that Naruto was a clumsy idiot and that she couldn't deal with that.

She should have stayed and enjoyed what little time she had with him, trying her best to make him enjoy spending time with her too.

She should and she should and she shouldn't. Fact is, it was too late for that now. There were so many things she could- no, _should_ have done differently, but that was always easy to say afterwards. As it had mattered, she had acted in the absolutely disagreeable fashion she unfortunately had and there was nothing she could do about it, unless she didn't, by any chance, come across a way to turn back time.

Of course these were nothing but fantasies and Hinata wasn't one to dwell on such idle thoughts (at least not for long), which left her with nothing, other than wishing for the earth to swallow her up and bury her in its depths, somewhere so deep down that no light might ever reach her disgraced face again. So she'd never have to face her shame.

Yet here she was in the middle of the Leaf Village in one of its busiest hours, running errands for the meal she was about to make. She didn't know just what it would be, but cooking always helped her take her mind off things. Maybe something with vegetables, that'd need a lot of cutting… Actually these household-related tasks were considered as too mundane for a Hyûga main house member, but Hinata liked doing these things, and who was there to keep her from them? Especially, since she thought little to nothing of these old-fashioned rules, which didn't make them any less valid within her clan, although the situation was by no means as tense as it had been only ten years ago, or so Hinata heard.

Back then she had been too small still to consciously perceive any of the frictions there have been between the two parts of her family. Now, however, she did and just as she perceived the still lingering tensions, she also perceived how they were eased more and more. It was definitely getting better. Solely the fact that her father, the head of the Hyûga clan, had decided to supervise the training of Neji, his branch-house nephew, and even teach him the Byakugan-related jutsu that were actually reserved for the main family, proved that quite strongly.

The Hyûga are an ancient clan and they only change very little at a very slow pace, but they did change and if a clan as old and proud of its traditions as hers could change, then how come she as a single and all too willing person couldn't?

In her head there was this picture of the other one; the two of them looked pretty much identical- they _were_ identical and yet were not. They were of the same height, and yet the other one looked much taller; her presence seemed far larger, like that of someone who won't go by unnoticed. They had the same hair, colour and length and all, with the only difference that the other one kept her hair long because it looked pretty and not because it was easier to hide behind it. They had the same eyes, the pupilless pearls the Hyûga were known for, but while Hinata's were usually guarded and fastened on the ground, the other's were open, steady, capable of holding eye-contact. Indeed they even seemed capable of making others avert _their_ eyes! Both their skins were pale, but while Hinata's entire face turned red so excruciatingly often, the other girl carried a vivid blush on her cheeks and it made her look more alive and not like she was dying in that very moment. And then their voices: a quiet whisper versus full-throated laughter and the things they said and the way they said them-

Those two girls really looked like twins and yet they were as different as they could be. Hinata wished she could be like her. They were all the same, had the same prerequisites, so it should be possible – Hinata was all too willing to change and become like that girl, become her own counterpart, but she didn't know how and despite her resolutions she just couldn't even get herself to start. Didn't know how to.

Whenever something happened she just didn't have a chance to ask herself what _she_ would do in such a situation, but she reacted the way Hinata would and Hinata liked to hide or flee, although she had made it her nindo never to do so.

She ran away yesterday…

Lost in her thoughts and her self-reproaches, Hinata barely noticed that she had long passed the supermarket she had planned to visit and whether by good fortune or not, but definitely by a twist of fate, was it that soon enough her up to then blanked-out surroundings forced themselves into her awareness in form of a voice calling out her name, followed by an almost collision and then that overwhelming feeling as all the colours and shapes and noises rushed into the focus of her perception again. It took her a while and not a slight bit of effort to be able to deal with the sudden onslaught of sensual impressions, but once she managed, the Hyûga found herself standing, still on somewhat unsteady legs, in front of the reason which had led her to spent the last hours, the whole night in fact, with succumbing to self-accusations and her lacking self-esteem.

But he was also the reason that made her want more. So much more…

"Hinata-chan," Naruto murmured in unusually subdued notes, as he came to a stop in front of the Hyûga. She had only caught a brief glimpse of his face, before fastening her eyes on the collar of his olive shirt, but she had seen that for nearly the first time there was no smile on his face as he greeted her and there couldn't be anything more disconcerting than the lack of this little gesture.

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata stammered and folded her hands together in front of herself, lowering her head a little further between her hunched shoulders, while her long hair did well in shadowing her features.

"We need to talk about what happened yesterday," Naruto began and took a slight pause, letting the warm wind waft through his hair, carrying away the almost imperceptible sigh he heaved as he prepared himself for this rather unpleasant part. He just wasn't really good with something like this – with serious conversations in general. Somehow he had a talent for saying things that were easy to be misunderstood and putting his foot in it.

"Uh-huh," Hinata nodded, feeling no less uncomfortable in the current situation and yet a tiny part of her was also glad this happened and that he came to her himself, because on her own she almost definitely wouldn't have dared to approach him. Still she was anxious about what he had to say… She couldn't bear the thought of him being mad at her – much less the thought of him telling her so face to face…

"_I__'__m__sorry_."

They both said simultaneously and twitched in surprise, the moment they noticed.

"What are you apologising for?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and stared at the top of Hinata's lowered head.

"For… you know… I'm sorry for overreacting. Y-you didn't do anything wrong… it was an accident and yet I… I-" she broke up and bit on her quivering lip as she recalled every detail of her embarrassing behaviour. "I shouldn't have run away."

"But I threw food at you!" Naruto's voice was so loud, especially compared to Hinata's quiet murmur and he sounded the slightest bit impatient. "I mean I didn't _throw_ it. I never meant to do so, I promise. I'm just an idiot sometimes—"

"-You're not an idiot!" Hinata cut him off, her voice suddenly not so quiet any more and interrupting someone wasn't much like her either.

"Glad you think so. But I'm still sorry and I hope you accept my apology."

"Of course," Hinata nodded quickly, but then added in shier tones, "If you would also accept mine."

"Sure." He gave a quiet laugh, sounding… _relieved_? "So we're good?"

_Gasp._

"Uhm… uh-huh," Hinata nodded, feeling her cheeks warm up – with a good feeling for a change. She finally looked up then and had to squint her pale eyes against the beaming sun. The smile on Naruto's face was about just as bright, but in that moment it appeared even warmer to her.

"Phew… that really takes a load off my mind."

It really did. He, too, had spent most of the night with telling himself what an idiot he was and with trying to find out what he would do about it; how he would make up things with Hinata again. Never had he thought it would be this easy.

"I'm sorry for having caused you trouble."

"Ah, enough apologising now," Naruto chided softly with that easy smile of his and Hinata couldn't help but bow her head again, but she was still smiling and felt better than she had in a perceived eternity. "So what are you up to?"

"Ehm, I just meant to buy some things for supper."

"Oh, so you're busy, eh?"

"Huh? N-no… I mean… not yet."

"Oh…"

_Damn_. That put him in quite an unpleasant situation now. He had definitely expected a no. Then he could have said: _okay,__maybe__another__time__then_ and take off, feeling relieved for the little step they had taken today, but now it called for bigger steps. Time to beat the chicken in him.

"Uhm… then would you like to… I don't know… sort of just… walk around or something?" He scratched the back of his head, his clear blue eyes focused on the one puffy cloud there was in the sky, while Hinata's eyes were fastened on the fire symbol on his shirt. This was just so much harder than he'd thought – taking on Pain has been a piece of cake in comparison. "But only if you want to of course…"

Hinata truly hadn't expected this. Her gaping mouth and her hammering heart had to make that clear. Did he hear it? If he didn't he'd have to be deaf! The rapid beating of her heart seemed to be the only sound Hinata was capable of producing in that moment – she just couldn't find her voice in order to tell him just how much she would like to. It seemed to have been a good decision that she hadn't buried herself in her bed today and had decided to wallow in self-pity outdoors. Otherwise this would have never happened.

_But what if I do something wrong…_

And she was sure she would. The more time she spent together with Naruto, the more time it gave him to pick up on all her little and not so little flaws. And if things between them didn't work out then (whatever _work__out_ meant at that point) then that wasn't because Naruto didn't know her – it would mean that he plain didn't like her.

Did she really want to take that risk?

"Yes… I'd like to," Hinata quietly answered both his and her own question, trying her best to derive confidence from her words.

"Great!" Naruto smiled. "We could take a walk through the new park; I heard they've almost finished it."

"O-okay."

She really didn't care where they went to, as long as she got to spend some time with him, and so she clenched her fists tightly, to keep her fingers from tingling with excitement, as though they were charged with electricity.

They started walking through the full streets of Konoha Gakure, past all these laughing and chatting people, while their own walk passed in silence and that of the tense kind, since they were both eager to overcome it, but just didn't know how.

"Nice weather for a walk, isn't it?" Naruto tried, but couldn't believe he was seriously talking about the weather.

"Yes… really nice…" Hinata seconded in almost the same words and then they lapsed back into silence again.

When did having a conversation become this hard? To Hinata it has always been this way, but Naruto- the loudmouthed Naruto rarely faced problems that could be tracked down to a lack of self-confidence. Was he really nothing but a big mouth?

Hinata usually liked it when it was quiet, when no one expected her to say anything and she only had to listen, and a good listener she was, but what could she listen to when nothing was said, so she's have to talk. But what about? She didn't want to end up boring him with small talk, but she couldn't engage him in any deep conversations either; with how nervous she was, it was rather unlikely that she could follow either her own or his sentences from beginning to end and she was afraid of becoming so flustered that she'd talk gibberish and forget everything she had ever known about grammar. What would he think of her if she just hauled around with random arrays of words? She knew she shouldn't care about what others thought of her, but this was Naruto and she just couldn't help it. Even if it weren't Naruto…

She dared a brief side-glance at him, to find his face flicker with light and darkness as they walked down an alley underneath lush green elm trees, which admitted only jagged spots of sunlight, so the pavement looked like an enormous puzzle. Naruto's face was more like a riddle; he looked almost serious, concentrated and no longer as light-hearted as before, like he was brooding… Or maybe he was bored! She had to be boring him – after all she hadn't even said a full sentence yet, but she just couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't bore him. Actually she couldn't think of anything to say in general, and as she tried her damnest to come up with something, her heartbeat increased yet again and she was so concentrated that her vision was reduced to a blur of colours. Her full attention was reserved for the proceedings within her head and so she wasn't prepared for the obstacle that blocked her path in that moment.

"Hey! How about we-uff"

That was when Hinata ran into Naruto's chest.

The blonde too had been eager to find a way to break the silence and as he had finally found something that sounded really promising to him, he wanted to let Hinata know at once. He meant to propose repeating their _date_ from the previous day – just without Sai there, so he wouldn't set him off again and it was always easier to talk over a good meal – the perfect plan. And so he had jumped into her way, excited like a little puppy, but he hadn't expected that Hinata, a ninja, would be so slow to react and his own reaction hadn't been too quick either, so he hadn't been able to keep her from running into him.

"I'm so sorry!" Hinata wailed, her face coloured an unhealthy red and burning so hot with shame that it brought tears to her eyes, which again weren't able to meet Naruto's and not only that, they no longer seemed able to take in anything in general. This was so unfair.

"Oi! Hinata-chan!"

Signs of alarm showed on Naruto's face as he observed the dangerously swaying girl and brought his arms to her shoulders to steady her, lest she should pass out, which she was rather prone to. It was quickly and almost without Hinata's knowledge that he navigated her to a simple stone bench at the side of the road and made her sit down on it.

"Are you any better?" he asked after a moment, as Hinata's facial colour had returned to normal and the pace of her breathing had decelerated a little.

"Uh-huh," she nodded, once the light and the colours returned and the thick haze of dizziness was lifted a little, but did not disperse altogether.

"Phew…" Naruto heaved a relieved sigh. "You can't always do that. Seriously… you really had me worried there."

"I'm sorry." Hinata's head dropped lower again and she fought hard to hold back the tears that were desperate to leak out.

"Nah, nevermind, just give me a little time and I'll cure you of that."

"Huh?" Hinata gasped and pulled back a little as Naruto's hand appeared in front of her lowered face, which she then lifted a little in order to find out what it meant, and Naruto couldn't help feeling a little amused about her wide-eyed gaze. She couldn't have looked any more shocked if there had been a leprechaun dancing tango on his palm. That image amused him even more…

"It's just my hand," Naruto grinned and turned his hand around in front of her face, to show her that there was nothing scary about it – neither claws nor teeth nor leprechauns, not even a speck of dirt. He thought back of yesterday when he had also meant to help her up, but had then pulled back again after all. He wouldn't do so now, although he did hope that she'd take his hand soon.

"O-okay," Hinata nodded and took a deep breath, before she slipped her delicate hand into Naruto's bigger one, allowing him to help her up.

"See?"

"Yes," she nodded again and smiled away her unshed tears.

He started walking then, but to Hinata's great surprise he didn't let go of her and it felt unpleasant in all the right way, if that made any sense.

His hand was so warm…

They carried on walking like that, almost like a couple among all the other couples that passed them, but which they were almost entirely unaware of. They didn't seem to pay any attention to the things going on around them and so they did not notice the pair of pearly eyes that was following them.

* * *

><p>A brief knock sounded and then Shikamaru already found himself in the middle of Tsunade's office, the place he frequented as often as others did a baker. The sun was only beginning to set and stood really low, a huge scarlet ball, bleeding into the sky and dying it a vibrant orange. In combination with the heat, the Nara couldn't help but think of lava, he was glad that there weren't any live volcanoes in the vicinity of the Leaf Village; a volcanic eruption was somewhere at the top of the list of things he never wanted to witness, but being on this list never kept these things from happening. Shikamaru had already seen far too many things… At times it made him wonder if he was caught in a nightmare. Up to now the mercy of waking up was denied to him though.<p>

"Back already?" Tsunade asked, without minding to take her bare feet off her desk or inviting her visitor to enjoy a share of wind from her small paper fan either and Shikamaru would have definitely liked that. It was terribly hot in the Godaime's office; he couldn't even recall the last time he's been sweating like this. Even with Tsunade in the room, he suddenly felt awfully old.

"Yes," he replied. "The mission was a success, with only a single incident but we mastered it. You get all the details in my report."

He placed said item, which he had quickly and with only a modicum of care written shortly before coming here, on Tsunade's wooden desk, before returning to his old place in the middle of the office.

"Very well," Tsunade nodded, pleased with the success of the mission and also Shikamaru's swiftness with finishing the mission report and handing it right in. "Is that everything?"

"Yes…" Shikamaru started, but the moment the word passed his lips, he knew that wasn't true, but should he really do this? "No…"

"Huh?" Tsunade looked up from the stack of papers and it was with a sudden sharpness that her eyes focused on the young shinobi, so she was rather unlikely to miss the tug of war raging behind Shikamaru's dark eyes. Hard to tell which side was having the upper hand now. He was worried about Ino and he knew she needed help, but he neither had the time nor the means to give it to her, but then she never confided in him in the first place and didn't ask for help either, so telling on her would feel like betrayal. But if he'd just stand back and carry on watching his friend get worse and worse without doing anything, wouldn't that be like failing her too?

"You might want to conduct a psychological assessment of Ino," Shikamaru sighed. "Whatever it is that is troubling her, she definitely needs help, or else she'll become a danger to herself and the people around her."

Shikamaru almost didn't dare look into Tsunade's face, but as he did, he was surprised to find that she didn't look surprised in the least.

"You knew…?" It was more of a statement than a question, and as the Hokage nodded grimly, he saw his assumption as confirmed and could feel the slightest bit of anger swell up in his guts. "You knew and you still sent her out?"

"You're not the first to point out Ino's behaviour," Tsunade began calmly and put her fan on the table, letting her flat hands rest there, too, which gave her a very official air. "The other complaints came from some of the teams Ino has been paired with lately. I thought she might behave differently when she was back in her old team. Apparently I was wrong." She heaved a deep sigh and pushed herself up into a standing position. "I will strip her off all current missions. Maybe she is just overworked. I will keep an eye on her."

"Good," Shikamaru said and Tsunade could feel a twinge of sympathy shoot through her veins at the sight of the young man. Yet another overworked soul…

Almost all of her ninja were at the end of their tether. In the time after Konoha's destruction, their workload had increased threefold. Not only did they have to take part in the reconstruction of their home, but the situation had also demanded a drastic increase of the security forces, guarding the vulnerable spot of land, where there once used to be one of the strongest Hidden Villages in the whole ninja world and then, to get the money for all the building work and to show the other countries that they weren't as weakened as could be assumed, they also had to accept a greater number of missions than they had people for, which ended up in having Genin do C- or at times even B-rank missions and Jounin setting out alone whenever possible.

Konoha was a ninja-village, so of course there were many psychologists, who took care of the people's mental well-being. However there has never been such a great demand of this psychological assistance as there was now. At first it had merely been about people, having difficulties to cope with the aftermath of Pain's attack, but now it were more and more people who were suffering from burnout.

"How far are the preparations for the Chunin Exams?" she changed the topic, although this wasn't exactly far from the burnout part either; Shikamaru was definitely one of those persons who were at a high risk of burning out like a shooting star.

"We're slightly ahead of schedule. I am confident that there won't be any difficulties to finish the preparation in time," Shikamaru replied soberly, if not a little bit annoyed.

"I'm sorry for burdening you with so much work," Tsunade said. "You deserve some rest, but I fear time is against that."

"It's a drag but someone has to do it."

"Hm," she smirked grimly. "Once the exams are over, you'll have more free time than you can cope with. You really deserve it."

Shikamaru merely shrugged and before he knew it, he had already left Tsunade's office, only in time to see the remaining streak of the blood red sun, before it vanished behind the distant mountains, which looked really small from where he stood; nothing like the giants they actually were.

"Shikamaru-san!"

Even before recognising the caller, Shikamaru already heaved a deep sigh with his eyes closed.

_Two minutes._

Two minutes was about the average time he had for himself per day – that's how it appeared to him in any case, so while quietly mourning the loss of that fleeting bit of free time, he turned around slowly to find out who had called him and for what reason. He kept his fingers crossed that it wasn't anything work related – he had a lot of sleep to catch up on.

"Shiho?"

He raised an eyebrow as he saw the blonde woman rush his way. Just as every time he had seen her, she was wearing a white laboratory coat over her dress, so he figured she had just come from work herself; the new office of the Cryptanalysis Squad wasn't far away from here and she definitely didn't look well-rested, judging from the creases in her clothes and the way some strands of her hair were sticking out. But then, if he recalled correctly, he had never seen her look much different.

"You're back.

The young woman came to a halt in front of the Nara, panting slightly, and looked at him through her thick glasses, which made it almost impossible to tell which eye colour she had. He really did wonder…

"Apparently…" Shikamaru replied, his answer leading Shiho to give a sheepish laugh.

"Of course you are… otherwise you wouldn't be standing here, right?"

"Probably not," he shrugged and started walking slowly with his face slightly turned into Shiho's direction, so it wouldn't look as if he was walking out on her, although that was basically what he was doing – the call of his bed was far stronger than the call of politeness.

"I just wondered if you have a little time," Shiho asked and started walking beside the dark-haired man, who was doing his best to suppress the urge to moan out loud and before he even had a chance to tell her that right now wasn't so very convenient, the blonde woman already carried on, "You know, Tsunade assigned me to help you with the preparations of the Chunin Exams and so I thought it might be best if you gave me a little overview of everything, so we won't have to waste any working time on that."

That sounded neutral enough. No need to tell him that she had asked Tsunade to be transferred to his squad. There wasn't much to do for the code-breakers at the moment, so she had a lot of free time, whereas Shikamaru had almost none and she, well… she kind of liked spending time with him, so she had at once seized the chance to do something with him.

"I'm on my way home actually."

"Oh…"

"But if you don't mind taking a walk then I can brief you on the way."

"_Oh_…" She couldn't help gaping, with her cheeks flushed a pale pink, as she thought about walking Shikamaru home, but she caught herself again quite quickly. "N-no, I don't mind at all."

A smile appeared on her face, but vanished as she saw someone in the distance and had to squint her unfortunately really bad eyes in order to make out who it was. "Look, isn't that Naruto?"

"Yes… and Hinata…"

_Well, well…_

"Oi, Shikamaru! Shiho!" Naruto waved at them and motioned Hinata to follow him towards the others. "What are you two up to?"

There was an impish grin on Naruto's face and from the way his eyes darted from one of them to the other, it was pretty clear what conclusion he had drawn and Shiho was aware of that as well and she really didn't like that.

"I-I was assigned to help Shikamaru with the preparation of the Chunin Exams, so it's only natural that I asked him to tell me all about it, right? There is nothing more to it." Is what her mouth said, but the reddish colour of her face spoke a different language and Hinata felt a twinge of sympathy for the other girl because she knew all too well what it was like when your expression gave away just about every thought that ran through your head, even those you would have liked to keep secret. It really wasn't nice to be an open book to everyone who took the time to look at you.

"That's about it," Shikamaru seconded her, seeing from the corner of his eyes how Shiho fidgeted nervously, with her head lowered, but he thought no more of it and lobbed the question back at the other two, "How about you?"

Now it was Hinata's turn to start blushing and squeeze out some incoherent syllables while playing around with her fingers, but before she managed to come up and on top of that _voice_ an excuse for her being with Naruto, the blonde took over.

"What do you mean with Chunin Exams?" Naruto asked in a grave voice, which helped a little to push away Hinata's nervousness.

"Well, I'm responsible for them," Shikamaru shrugged, not so sure what the Uzumaki was driving at.

"But I thought they didn't take place this year!"

"It's an international event – why wouldn't they take place?"

"But Tsunade she- she- damn it!" he cursed and slammed his fist into his open palm and driven by fury he spun around on his heels and darted ahead towards the Hokage tower without explaining his behaviour or reacting to Hinata's calling his name. It wasn't a nice thing to do, but right now he didn't have any thoughts to spare on anything other than getting an explanation from the Godaime. If there was one thing he hated then that was being lied to.

* * *

><p>It was a typical picture – both the one she saw and the one she posed herself.<p>

Here Sayuri was sitting on the beige tatami mats in the living room, right in front of the low coffee table, which was littered with books and papers and the obligatory coffee mug (empty of course) and then as so often her head was resting on the table, too, drawn down by the weight of all the facts she was trying to commit to memory.

What she was seeing was the ever same jumble of letters, or hieroglyphs, just blurry black symbols on yellowed paper; at some point it really didn't matter from where she looked at them – they appeared outlandish to her in any case. Still her ambition and the awareness that time was running out, kept her sitting here, poring over her books, or more precisely lying on them, hoping she could somehow internalise their contents via osmosis.

She'd really like to be a sponge. Not only would she then be able to do the whole osmosis thing, but more importantly sponges didn't have to take any exams.

"Don't you think you're overdoing it?" Sasuke's calm voice wormed its way into her overwrought brain. As it seemed he was standing right behind her and had she been a little less drowsy, she might have wondered when he had come back and since when he was watching her already. "You'll pass the exam anyway."

"I doubt so," she sighed and slowly raised her head and there was an unpleasant crackling as she severed her cheek from the page. As she looked at it, the letters were still where they used to be. She didn't have one spongy gene in her. Damn it. "I have to work through all of this still and there's only little more than a week left. I'll never make it."

"You should work on your self-confidence," Sasuke said, but only received an incredulous look from his girlfriend who wasn't in the least encouraged by his rather unhelpful advice.

"Right," she said and shook her head, as if to shake off his attempt at reassuring her or to shake back her self-doubts, whichever it was, once she turned back to her rather messy working place, she was overcome by an overwhelming feeling, like a hatchling that had fallen out of its nest and now found itself confronted with the Herculean task of having to make its way back into safety. Without being able to fly of course.

"Do as you please," he shrugged, not sounding exactly interested. Then he bowed down and she could feel wisps of his hair tickle her nose even before his lips brushed hers, but there was more to it. The moment he slowly pulled away and then got up to leave, she caught a faint small of alcohol in his breath.

Not for the first time.

It's not like it bothered her. He didn't come home drunk or anything. It was just new and somewhat weird, considering how disciplined he was otherwise.

Maybe that's what it meant to be growing up.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you lied to me!"<p>

Naruto burst through the door and at once marched towards Tsunade's desk, where he slammed his flat hands against its edge in a very dramatic way and kept clinging to it, as though he had to do so in order to retain his self-control. Maybe that was true.

"Get a hold of yourself right this instant!" Tsunade all but barked out and shot to her feet, mimicking Naruto's posture with her hands on the table top and her head lowered like that of a bull preparing to charge. "I will not let you talk to me like that!"

Angry or not, Naruto knew she was right and that this was no way to talk to a Hokage, but knowing that did only very little to soothe him, but he at least tried to take some measured breaths and Tsunade was aware of his efforts.

"Now, what are you talking about?"

"What _I_ am talking about?" This was the very wrong way to approach things with him and every bit of calmness he had gathered in the last seconds left him like air left a punctured balloon. "I'm talking about the lies you told me!"

"What lies?" she inquired, acting like she had no clue, when in reality she had a fairly good idea of what he was talking about and actually she had been sure he'd find out sooner or later. Something this big just couldn't be kept secret for long; especially not in a village such as Konoha-Gakure.

"There! You're doing it again!" He rudely pointed at the blonde woman and pressed his teeth firmly shut, again in a vain attempt to retain his composure. "This isn't the first time you lied to me! Stop patronising me all the time! I know about the Chunin Exams and-"

"-I did not lie about the Exams," Tsunade cut in and Naruto was sure in that moment that his head would burst from the anger he tried hard to bite back. "I told you they did not take place in Konoha Gakure and they don't. We can't allow you to set off to Kumo Gakure."

"_What_?"

That struck rather deeply, and that although he hadn't quite figured out yet what exactly she meant with that last remark, but it was slowly coming to him. Things were slowly clicking together.

_Yes_- everything made a whole lot of sense now.

After everything he's done for the village- despite knowing that if it weren't for him, there would be no village left in the first place- despite everything, they still didn't regard him as a Konoha shinobi. To them he was nothing more than the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki – a potential weapon, same as a potential threat. Someone to be kept locked away until the day they might need him. The day another Pain came… That's why they no longer sent him out over longer distances. Even the missions he was given were a complete joke! He was only allowed to set off when Kakashi or Yamato were with him and since they were often sent on solo missions that wasn't too often – and the missions he was given didn't include any fights; like seriously, they've been given a tracking mission, when their team was clearly not meant for such tasks. They are an offensive team, covering everything from short to long-range style and they were damn good at that – he'd even say they were the strongest team there was in their generation and yet they were put off with the lamest of tasks. He had thought that had something to do with him and Sasuke being Genin, but now he knew that has never been the case.

It was all because of the damn Kyuubi!

A look of betrayal crept across his face, but his current train of thoughts rendered him entirely speechless, and Tsunade couldn't help feeling disconcerted due to this for Naruto rather uncanny behaviour. She had to save what she could, although she had a rather dismal feeling that that was beyond her by now.

"You have to keep in mind that Konoha only just recovered from the greatest tragedy it ever faced. We are still vulnerable, even now, and you are known for defeating Pain, so-"

"-don't give me that!" Naruto interrupted her. "You are so-" he hissed, but then gritted his teeth just in time, too frustrated to even know what he would have wanted to say, but it verged somewhere on liar, hypocrite, traitor… He had done so much for this village and still they didn't trust him in the least. This was so unfair! He had trusted her and now he couldn't even bear to look her in the eyes any longer, his own eyes brimming with the liquid of suppressed anger, of _weakness_, and he could only vaguely recall the last time he has felt this disappointed.

This hurt.

This betrayed.

Although there have been more than enough occasions when he had felt this way – this very way and worse still.

"Damn it!"

He slammed his flat hands on the even wood, before he pushed himself away from the table and marched out, paying no heed to Tsunade's attempts at calling him back. Once he reached the door however, he came to a halt and looked over his shoulder at the upset woman.

"I would have never thought that you were like this too."

In the end it were the people closest to you that hurt you the most.

* * *

><p><em>It were too many to dig graves for every single one of them. It would have been too painful to count the numbers and bury them all separately. So they made a fire to incinerate them. It was dead of night, the seemingly perfect hour to facilitate their transition into the afterlife. It was a hellish inferno, competing with the blackness of night and eventually winning the fight, dyeing the low clouds in a disturbing shade of orange. <em>

_It was an unbearable sight, like hell on earth, and the young girl was afraid that the stray souls would be guided the wrong way, although she had been taught not to believe in either hell or heaven…_

"_Once-Returner means to go and return once more, but in truth there is no going, just as there is no returning." _

_The Diamond Sutra. These were just some of the words that were used to answer her every question and she found herself relying on them now. _

_"No-Return means not to return to this world, but in fact there cannot be any Non-Returning."_

_No one actually leaves but then where was everybody?_

_The words ceased to contain comfort, ceased to contain enlightenment; coming out of her mouth these sagacious words even ceased to make any sense. _

_But they were all she had. _

_She couldn't find it in her to use her own words to express what this loss meant to her. She couldn't find her own voice among all the nothingness that pressed down on her in lieu of grief._

"_There is no decay and death, no extinction of decay and death. There is no suffering, no origination, no stopping, no path."_

_Whispering the prayers she has been taught, she watched the ashes rise into the sky like fireflies._

…

…


	6. Routine

**6. Routine **

There was something special about the way the world looked in the morning. When the sun was just beginning to rise and drifted like a golden shimmer through the narrow gaps in the wooden blinds right into their bedroom, contorting the many remaining shadows into odd shapes. It was that time when darkness and light battled for dominance in the quiet room on nearly equal terms and doused every object, however simple, in a mysterious gleam. The atmosphere was warm, which had only little to do with the fact that it was summer and accordingly warm in general. It was the interaction of many different components; the soft colours, the fresh bite of morning air, the singing of birds and then the rhythmic breathing sounds which were characteristic for sleep that made it seem that way.

If only it weren't so early…

Slowly, Sayuri's grey-blue eyes fluttered open, but she squeezed them shut, as they were met by the rays of the bright orange sun. The last remnants of whatever dream had filled her sleeping hours were beginning to wane away, leaving her not quite awake yet and without any knowledge of what it has been about. Nothing but a vague feeling, somewhere deep down in the recesses of her mind, only strong enough for her to notice its existence, but too weak for her to find and reach for it to pull it into the forefront of her mind for inspection. A small sigh escaped her lips, as she rolled over on her other side and pulled the cool satin sheets up to her chin, more out of habit and not because she was actually freezing.

As her eyes opened a second time, they fell on the sleeping face of the person she shared her bed with. Sasuke was also lying on his side, his face turned into her direction. His dark hair was dishevelled and fell across his eyes, which were loosely closed. His features were relaxed and his usually so pale skin was aglow with golden stripes. He looked so tranquil… she wondered what he was dreaming about and she was sure that he still was sound asleep and most likely dreaming, because everyone did, right? Just because she rarely ever remembered her dreams didn't mean she never had any and the same was true for Sasuke. He wasn't much of a late riser, but he rarely got up this early, while Sayuri had gotten used to it.

This was about the time when their son woke up, although she didn't hear any sounds from him yet, but even so her body clock had adapted to his sleeping rhythm and so here she was, wide awake (or not) at this ungodly hour. Yesterday he stayed up longer than usual, so maybe he'd sleep a bit longer and accordingly she could have slept longer as well. Great – especially because she could have really needed a few additional hours of sleep.

She let her eyes fall shut again, but there was no way for her to drift off into sleep again and so she was plainly bored and almost wished that Mikan would finally wake up, so she'd be forced to leave her cosy, warm bed, which seemed like a rather irrational thing to do, but she didn't really feel like lying around any longer.

Once again her gaze wandered across the peacefully sleeping form of her boyfriend. He too had stayed up really long, she wasn't even sure when exactly he had come to bed, so no wonder he was still dead to the world. Slowly, Sayuri trailed her index finger across his arm, which was resting in front of his face, so lightly that she only just touched the fine hairs on his arm and wondered if he noticed. Except for a small sound, there was nothing that conveyed the impression that he did and somehow that brought a smile to her face. After placing a feathery kiss in the middle of his forearm, again without receiving a reaction, Sayuri carefully pulled back the covers and prepared to slide out of bed. She was halfway sitting already, but in the blink of an eye she was lying flat on her back again. A stifled gasp escaped her parted lips, as she was mercilessly buried under a warm and pretty heavy body.

"Sasuke?" she murmured, not altogether sure if he was really awake, although judging from how tightly he was wrapping his arms around her, she was fairly sure he was.

"Hmm?" He showed her that she had his attention, but kept his face in the crook of her neck, his warm breath tickling her bare skin.

"You're crushing me."

"Hmpf," he exhaled sharply, something between a chuckle and a snort. "Good morning to you, too."

"Yeah… good morning…" Sayuri giggled. Then she was doused in shadows, as Sasuke lifted his weight off her and placed his elbows beside her head to support himself and there he was now, towering above her in a way that made it impossible for her to look past him and she had a faint notion that this was exactly what he intended.

"It's 5:30," he said, after having glanced at the small clock standing on the night table on his side of the bed.

"I know…" she sighed and shifted her weight a little to lie more comfortably, before she moved her hand up to the back of his neck and twirled some strands of his dishevelled hair around her fingers.

"Then what are you doing?"

That question only earned him an incredulous look. Apparently he didn't know that she got up at this time just about every day. In fact even earlier. He probably had no idea what her day looked like and quite frankly she didn't know all that many details of his either. Usually she would have already been done with feeding Mikan, changing his diapers and dressing him. Maybe Sasuke wasn't as much of a light sleeper as she thought he was – as she actually knew him to be or knew him to have been. But then actually she was glad about that; there was no need for him to know about her stupid sleeping rhythm and besides, it meant he was at ease and did not consider constant alertness necessary, which was a good thing. His instincts were usually far more reliable than her own.

"Well… I'm awake, so I thought I might as well get up and start-"

"-or you might just stay in bed and try to sleep again," Sasuke interrupted her and although his face was concealed by shadows, she still saw how he rolled his eyes.

"Now that I'm awake, I can't – and he'll probably wake up soon."

"So he does," he shrugged. "But then why are you awake?"

"Well… someone has to. He's usually really hungry at this time. You want to wait till he starts crying?"

"You're spoiling him."

"He's a baby. He can't do anything on his own yet, so someone has to do it – I wouldn't call that spoiling."

She averted her eyes and mulled over Sasuke's words, hoping he wasn't right after all. She didn't want her son to become a pampered momma's boy, who'd be entirely dependent on his parents. Just… a little bit of a momma's boy… that would be perfectly acceptable. Well, but then there was Sasuke still and she was positive that he'd make sure that that would never happen. They were like yin and yang in that point and the two together stood for balance, so maybe it was good that they were so different and complemented each other. It was quite a comforting thought to entertain in any case…

"He can call himself lucky to have a mother like you," Sasuke said calmly and although she tried hard, very much so, Sayuri could detect no trace of sarcasm in his voice.

"You think?" she asked nevertheless, while a hopeful smile tugged at the corners of her lips, but she tried hard to repress it, just in case she had missed the sarcasm after all.

"Hn," he nodded, "but it won't do _you_ any good."

"I'm a big girl, Sasuke. I know my limits."

And she knew enough ways that helped her push past them, but still his concern was somewhat touching.

"…"

His dark eyes held her gaze, his lips closed in contemplative silence. A long moment passed and the scepticism was clearly visible in his usually so guarded expression. Then Sayuri no longer saw anything at all, as Sasuke leant down and pressed his lips to hers, first just lightly, but getting more and more demanding by the second. His hands were impatient, too. Far too soon for her taste, they were under her shirt already, pushing it up.

"W-wait." She turned her face away to escape his kiss, but Sasuke only saw that as an invitation for his lips to trail along her jaw, going down the crook of her neck, his hands moving farther and farther up.

"Hey." Sayuri locked her hands around his wrists and pushed them down again and now Sasuke could no longer pretend to be oblivious of her protests.

"What…?" he groaned and propped himself up on his elbows, his dark eyes filled with incomprehension and something akin to worn out annoyance. It made Sayuri avert her eyes in any case, but she kept on running the tips of her fingers up and down his upper arms as some sort of reconciliation.

"Can't we… can't we just… talk?"

Her blue eyes moved up and were at once met by his impossibly black ones that seemed a shade darker even than the darkness itself and most of all they looked disapproving.

"Talk?"

"Yes, talk. We rarely talk."

"There are other things we do even rarer…"

"I know but-"

"-much rarer."

Okay, now she didn't know what to say to that and he obviously took that as a victory.

"See?" he nodded his head and smirked softly. Then he stole the light again as he lowered himself onto her and lightly touched his lips to hers. Slow and gentle as he rarely was and her former objection soon enough waned away. It was with a naturalness, consisting of both feeling and habit that Sayuri's hand found its way to his neck, the tips of her fingers softly caressing the skin right under his ear. Concentrating on nothing but the feeling of him so close to her, she lost herself in his kiss and felt more at ease, more like herself, than she had in a long time. No thought was spared on her son and his needs and his happiness or all the dangers lurking in the world around him or her exam or the throbbing in her head that barely resembled the frail flutter of a moth's wings at the moment. There was only Sasuke and his lips and the kiss that was slowly growing in intensity and the heat building between them as he again smothered her.

That's when Mikan woke up.

Gone was the ease and every bit of sensuality and the feeling of being detached from the monotonous reality and it no longer felt good and intimate to be buried beneath him– it was only constricting. Sasuke, however, didn't seem bothered in the least by the quiet munching their son made, as he bid farewell to the last bit of sleep that clouded his thoughts and kept him relatively quiet so far, but Sayuri knew how that wouldn't last much longer.

Still Sasuke kept her stapled to the mattress, determined to have his lips stay where they were and let them do what they did, although he was aware that Sayuri's concentration had strayed elsewhere and that she was probably raring to scramble out from underneath him and leap straight to Mikan's crib. But after their talk beforehand he wondered how long he could keep her here. He could already feel her grow tenser by the minute.

"Sasuke…?" Sayuri raised her voice hesitantly, knowing that Sasuke wouldn't like it. As a matter of fact, he just decided to ignore her and carried on letting his lips work their way up the smooth skin of her neck, more aggressively due to the lack of response on her part and to quench any further protests, he cupped her face in his hands, to make sure she would keep her eyes fixed on him and then he pressed his mouth hard on hers, pushing her deeper into the thick feather pillow. This time she responded, but still he knew that she wasn't fully there, not fully with him.

As Mikan started crying he knew he had lost this fight. He could feel her scramble beneath him, her slender physique no match for his muscular body. He could keep her there as long as he wanted, but that wasn't even nearly the same as her wanting to stay.

After another meek plea that was for the most part muffled by his lips, he rolled off her and in a matter of seconds she was out of the bed with a rushed '_I'm __sorry__'_, but these were her favourite words; she was saying them so often that they barely seemed sincere and more like a habit.

And again she dropped him like a hot potato. Good for him that he hadn't expected anything else.

"Good morning, my little tangerine!" No longer subdued, Sayuri's voice chimed like a silver bell and as she picked the crying baby out of his crib, there was a beam on her face that could easily put the sun to shame. It didn't surprise Sasuke in the least that Mikan stopped crying within seconds and greeted his mother with a smile that almost equalled hers in brightness.

Seeing them, _his __family_, always filled him with pride. He had a healthy son and a beautiful girlfriend, he had every reason to be proud and happy, but even so all of this didn't seem accessible to him. He wondered where he fit into that picture. It was easier before. As she had still been the girl who would blush and avert her eyes when he took off his clothes or thought that having an argument equalled breaking up. The one he had to teach everything concerning relationships, and he meant _everything_, regardless of how little he had known himself and who had been so afraid of failing as a mother that she sunk into weeklong depressions and he had been the one to get her out of them.

As he watched her now, standing there with their son in her arms and dressed in a long, black T-shirt that belonged to him and had a white and red fan on it, as did all his clothes, he couldn't see much of that girl any longer. While she had been almost exclusively focussed on him before, he now only ranked second when it came to her attention.

Still his feelings for her didn't lessen – it just made it harder for him to show them and showing was his only way of letting her know. He wasn't much of a talker…

"Say, good morning, daddy."

Sayuri stepped to the foot of the bed and waved Mikan's tiny hand at Sasuke. He babbled something that sounded nothing like good morning though, and then he laughed merrily and so did Sayuri. What a happy family he had…

"You want to sleep still?" Sayuri asked and tickled Mikan's stomach, but kept looking at Sasuke.

"… No…" he said after a long moment of silence and watched the smile on Sayuri's face widen, before she crawled onto the bed and knelt right before the dark-haired man, who was again lying on his back.

"You want to spend the morning with us?" she asked hopefully; glad to have a chance to show him what their day looked like. Sasuke took his time and watched her closely, but eventually he nodded and once he did, Sayuri lay down on her side and put Mikan down right between them.

"Let's do some exercise; give him your hand," she instructed him, and although there was a frown on his face, Sasuke did as she asked him to, and then she took Mikan's other hand and the little boy at once pulled himself up into a sitting position.

"Way to go!" she cheered and then gave him a little push, so he fell back into the soft pillow, before they repeated the whole thing all over again. "He's pretty good with sit-ups, huh? Another year and you can start training him."

"Hn," Sasuke nodded and watched Sayuri cuddle their son and make him laugh in all the ways that he couldn't. Hard to imagine that there's been a time when she hadn't wanted any children or when she had been afraid that she would be a bad mother. Many things of the past seemed quite unreal to him, including his own behaviour, the way he had treated her, but most of all the moment in which he had almost lost her and also Mikan before ever having had a chance to get to know him.

"What…?" Sayuri asked and watched Sasuke's pensive face. His obsidian eyes switched back into the here and now and met her grey-blue ones that were for a change focused on him, her eyebrow arched in an uncertain way.

"Nothing." He shook his head, but as the sceptical look on Sayuri's face wouldn't fade, he leaned forward to kiss her and then ruffled his son's hair, which was a lot like his own.

Okay, mostly he was proud.

* * *

><p>As she had asked him to spend the morning with them, Sayuri had actually meant the whole morning, secretly she might have even meant the whole day. She had thought of having breakfast in bed, then staying there, lazing around, cuddling, talking – the way they hadn't done in quite some time.<p>

Sasuke's had a different idea, however. She had left Mikan with him, while she had gone to fetch his milk and by the time she had returned and crawled back into bed, with all these images of a picture-perfect morning in mind, Sasuke got up and left her alone with their son and all her oh so perfect illusions.

_Might__ as__ well__ go__ do__ something __when__ I__'__m__ up __this __early_.

And as she said that to him, he had rolled his eyes…

It would be too much to say she was hurt, but she was a little disappointed. At times she wondered if he was really gone so often, because he had to or not rather because he wanted to… Often enough, she had a notion that he felt trapped in here. With them. He knew the freedom of living beyond any boundaries; beyond emotional, social and financial dependence, so the limitations of home, of family, had to feel even greater and more restraining to him, than they did to her. And although she felt trapped, too, she couldn't possibly be induced to leave (although she liked to imagine otherwise). She was not only trapped within this home, trapped within the duties of being a mother, but also trapped within dim routine.

She got up early and went to bed late. In between she cared for her son in the pleasant (playing and cuddling) and the unpleasant (diaper changing, feeding him his vegetables) ways. Whenever Sasuke was there, she prepared breakfast and lunch for all of them and the people that went in and out of their house all the time; all the hired workers and volunteers that helped them finish their house. The building work entailed a lot of cleaning of course, especially with Mikan crawling across the floor and reaching for whatever he found and more often than not it ended up in his mouth and so she really didn't want any dirt or debris or any sharp objects to lie around.

When he took a nap, she had some time for herself and tried to use that for doing something useful, but most of the time she was too tired then and ended up napping off herself or she just sat down and stared at a blank wall or into the black circle within her coffee mug, trying to escape the sensory overload she was confronted with all the time. Before long, Mikan was awake again and she was back to being an entertainer for her little son, who was at length beginning to be able to occupy himself, which didn't keep her from watching over him, though. None of these seemed like really demanding activities, but even so they left her collapsing into bed each and every night, almost too tired to even change her clothes and brush her teeth.

So much to the daily routines; the weekends were a little different. They had no workers here then, so when Sasuke was there, which hadn't happened too often lately, they tried to do something as a family and just spend time together to make up for all the time they were separated, so Sasuke had more of a chance to get close to his son. They took long walks then, through some of the many parks the village owed to Yamato, or they went eating together or just stayed at home or lay around in their garden, which used to be green for almost a week, but now the sun had returned it to its initial brown.

About every other weekend, they would go into their bedroom by the end of these days. They took off their clothes and Sasuke climbed on top of her, pressing his body against hers. They ground and moved in a sensuous rhythm, fuelled by unspoken desire. But as she spread her legs beneath him and pulled him inside, she was still all too aware of their surroundings. The air smelled of milk and baby and at times they even heard Mikan coo in his sleep. It wasn't ideal, but the silence between them was usually laden with promises and feelings. These moments of silence were perfect, but something wasn't quite right when they talked.

He would collapse on top of her then, his weight crushing and heavy on her petite frame, his breathing deep and ragged in her ear, her own breathing shallow and suffocated. They would resort each to their own dreams and wake up again in the sultry haze of an early morning. It left them feel different, the atmosphere was warmer and it was as though they were closer together, but by the time they got up that notion was gone again and the intimacy yielded to the overbearing routine.

In the last weeks, however, this regular schedule was invaded by a novelty. Sayuri now also had to study for the exam, she was about to take at the end of this month and when she had already been exhausted by these normal days, her current routine left her plainly devastated.

That was exactly how she felt now, as she stomped through her kitchen, Mikan in one arm, a book in the other. It was hard to believe that the day had only just begun. She had told Tsunade that she thought she'd manage, but right now she had some reasonable doubts about that. Not only was the workload far greater than she had assumed, but then the data just refused to stay in her head. It was terribly frustrating.

And now she was pacing back and forth, while trying to memorise all these fancy terms, and more importantly their meanings. It was hard enough to somehow force these expressions to stay in her mind and not dissipate right away, and so she tried to relate the terms to her steps or the cries and laughs of her son or basically anything, just so she'd have something concrete. Although during the actual exam it wouldn't do her much good, since she couldn't just trample around or take her son with her and make him cry and laugh at the right moment. And even what little things she did succeed to commit to memory existed in seclusion. She could neither link them together, nor relate them to actual procedures. It was just theoretical knowledge, and really poor one at that, and it wouldn't help her a thing to know all that when she couldn't apply it to anything. None of this seemed to add up to anything. She really didn't know what she was doing here…

But the exam was too important for her to just give up or not take it serious. In spite of having told Tsunade she would be able to cope with all the additional work, it was also something about ambition. She _wanted_ to pass the exam. If she did, she'd move to a new level, which allowed her to take part in every sort of surgery, she'd have access to every lab there was (even the hidden ones that officially didn't exist) and theoretically she would even be allowed to accompany ANBU on their missions – but only if she did a second test that proved that her physical abilities were sufficient to not be a burden to them and as it was she wouldn't be up to that - not even Superwoman (Sakura) had passed it!

"When I'm through with this, I'll read to you from a nice book." Sayuri tried to soothe her son, who was whining slightly, probably as interested in all this dry theory as she was herself, but at least he had the choice to deflect his attention elsewhere, like on the butterflies fluttering in front of the window, or the hands of the clock, hanging above the door, whereas she didn't have that choice.

"Bear with me a little longer," she sighed and started rocking him up and down, back and forth, while she tiptoed in pirouettes around the chairs and the table. To her dismay it were the quick movements which made him smile the most, since they distracted her from her reading and she ended up having to go through the whole page again to search for the right passage, but Mikan had no mercy for that; he wanted to be entertained. She could have really needed Sasuke here. After all he was his son, too, so it shouldn't be asking too much for him to look after him a while. Especially since she had an awful lot to do still, whereas Sasuke had a day off, but he rather used that time for whatever he was doing right now (she figured it was training, but couldn't tell for sure) and so she whirled through the room all over again and had to smile because of Mikan's open-mouthed, two-toothed laugh. Number three was about to come which is why he was so whiny all the time and why she did her best to distract him, even if it meant neglecting her own tasks, in spite of how important they were and so she kept twirling around and round again.

Twenty-two…

Twenty-three…

…Twenty-four…

…

…Twenty-…

…five…

Something with the last pirouette was wrong. Maybe it was one too many, or it had just been too fast, whatever it was, it caused a sharp pain right behind her eyes, as though a little mean man sat inside her skull and was pulling at the optic nerve of her left eye like it was a plug, and in a matter of seconds her vision blacked out, but for the dimmest silhouettes and she wasn't quite sure if she was standing or twirling still. Panic at once caught hold of her violently throbbing head, but she forced herself to remain calm and slowly sat down on the floor and put Mikan down right beside her, so she wouldn't run the risk of dropping him. She drew her knees up and rested her head on them, taking slow, laboured breaths, while her one hand was resting on her son's shoulder, just so she'd know he hadn't crawled off somewhere.

She kept sitting like that for maybe a minute, maybe two, before she dared to open her eyes again, finding the world still shady and blurry, but not quite as dark as before. The blindness rarely lasted longer than a minute, but that was when the throbbing and pulling in her head became worse. But mere pain was something she could deal with just fine, especially since she's had enough time now to get used to it and actually she could barely remember a time when there hasn't been this dull ache in her head - blindness and disorientation, however, were a completely different matter.

"Stay here a bit," she mumbled with a heavy tongue and put Mikan in his highchair, from where he couldn't escape. "I'll be right back."

And with that she was already on her way to the bathroom.

That was another part of her new routines: the migraine. She suffered from it ever since the near-death or actually death experience she owed to Madara. It was rarely as bad as it was now, but more like a constant, subliminal pain that from time to time increased, until it became nearly unbearable and time didn't seem to bring relief to that, but she had found the right sort of remedy to fight it. Her occupation as medic-nin came quite handy, since it allowed her free access to all sorts of medications, without anyone ever asking questions. And Konoha was a shinobi village; the hospital expected to treat heavily injured people and so they had a wide range of really strong and effective pills in store, some of which had now found a new home in her bathroom cabinet, right between her female hygiene products, where Sasuke was rather unlikely to ever look into.

Some of them made your head feel light, as though it was filled with air or cotton wool or anything soft that made you feel good and easy going. Others were much heavier; they spread out like viscous tar inside your skull and suffocated the mean dwarf, making your eyes fall shut and weighing you down into a syrupy sea of dreamless sleep. Then there were others still. They made you feel active and awake and strong. Their effect was similar to that of military ration pills; they kept you feel saturated and wide awake and they just made the pain vanish and left you feel like you could take on the world, without being held back by hunger or fatigue or any other human needs.

Those were just what she needed right now.

* * *

><p>What better way was there to start a new day than with a guilty conscience and some really bad news?<p>

Instead of rising and shining, Tsunade had tumbled out of her bed (although she had weirdly enough slept the sleep of the just), weighed down by the corners of her mouth, which had to have reached down to her shoulders in the least and then all the guilt, which felt corporeal enough, so no wonder she's had quite some trouble with getting up this morning. Even now her head was still hanging a tad lower than it should; she was doing her best to keep it upright and look confident and businesslike, but whenever her concentration slipped, her head would automatically sink down between her shoulders and there was nothing she could do about that.

The whole situation with Naruto yesterday still weighed heavily on her mind. He was a shinobi, just one of many, and in her job she was actually used to disappointing people from time to time – it was impossible not to – and yet she couldn't help feeling bad, _terrible_ in an utterly undue way. So they had kept the Chunin Exams secret from him and so they did only send him on easy missions – after all he was a person of great importance and persons of great importance are by default persons who are at great risks. All they had ever done was for his good. Only to know he was safe. They only ever acted in his interest – he just wasn't mature enough to know what was in his interest. She herself wasn't so sure either. Maybe she wouldn't feel so bad about what happened, if she had actually supported all of this. All the precautions and regulations concerning Uzumaki Naruto.

A truly bad start of day. And as she had sat there in her office, thinking gloomy thoughts, which were haunted by Naruto's pained expression, his pained voice, she thought it couldn't become any worse. That is when Shizune had entered her office, acting as a harbinger of bad news, which she had at once seen from the distressed expression she had put on instead of her usual make up.

Tsunade didn't yet know what it was that unsettled her assistant, and secretly she didn't want to know it; wasn't even a tiny bit curious, but it was her duty to know- and act, which is why she used these last moments of sweet ignorance to steel herself for whatever was going to come, for she knew that even steeled nerves were rather unlikely to suffice to get her through this day without losing her head.

"There is another person missing, the third this month."

It might be easy to say that afterwards, but somehow this was exactly what Tsunade had expected. She had been so sure even that it almost appeared like a déjà vu to her; the way Shizune had her arms wrapped tightly around Tonton, the anxious look in her eyes that belied her calm voice, the way she now looked at her, waiting for her to relieve her of the information she had been trusted with and that felt mighty heavy to keep all by herself – it was all so eerily familiar. Or maybe it was like this with every piece of bad news she received; only that she always repressed these memories and accordingly couldn't tell.

"Who?"

"Denji Tekkotsu, a Jounin. He and his team were on a scouting mission near the Land of Grass. They didn't even scatter. He was the last in the line and at some point his team noticed that he was no longer behind them, but there were no traces, no signs of a fight. He just vanished." Shizune finished and took a deep breath, finally loosening her grasp on the struggling pig in her arms, and just in time, because she had been close to crushing it.

"Does he fit into the picture?" Tsunade asked, anticipating the answer even before Shizune nodded her head. She was really going clairvoyant this day.

"Yes, he too has a great amount of chakra reserves."

That didn't exactly sound special, but considering that all the by now 7 missing people had that in common, made it appear like a bit too much of a coincidence.

"Tsk, that corresponds to what we heard from Suna," Tsunade gnashed her teeth and allowed her eyes to become unfocused, as she tried to think up a line of action, tried hard to get behind what was going on, but she had absolutely no idea – all she knew was that the same thing also happened in the Land of Wind and that they knew as little about it as she did– maybe it also happened in other nations, but their relations to them weren't strong enough to actually ask. "Inform the Kazekage and ask for their current situation. Maybe they discovered something new."

"Understood," Shizune nodded, but was hesitant to leave the office. Then she did it anyway. After all what was there to do for them? There were no traces, they had no idea what was going on, but whatever it was, it was happening more frequently now and the pattern behind the events was unmistakeable.

* * *

><p>After a miraculous and most importantly swift cure, Sayuri was again buried in work and the books she still had to read and at best know by heart by the time she took her exam. It was a lot, but right now she couldn't care less, because she felt good enough – confident even that she would pull through without much of a problem. It was a nice day, the sun was shining, birds were chirping and she had seen a squirrel rush across the front porch just a few minutes ago, so why should she feel bad or tired or overwhelmed by all the tasks that were still waiting for her?<p>

She was standing in the living-room, her favourite working place, because when she opened the large paper screen doors, she had a nice view of the garden, although it didn't look so very nice, brown and dry as it was, but she enjoyed the occasional breaths of fresh air that flowed into the large, barely furnished room.

Once she had felt better – better in fact than she had in quite some time, she had carried Mikan's playpen to the doorway, leading onto the porch, so he had a good view of the garden, too, but wasn't exposed to the glare of the hot summer sun. And there he sat now, his dark blue eyes switching from the playthings in his chubby fists to the birds in the sky or the leaves falling from the trees, which were almost cloaked in their autumn dress already. As far as she could tell, he was having a good time and so she was happy too and could fully concentrate on the gigantic pile of clothes she had to iron still and which would have usually made her heart sink at the sheer size, but right now it was just a bit of a challenge, nothing to get worked up about.

And so she stood there with her face directed towards freedom and her son, who could be classified as the opposite of freedom. She had put one of her books on the ironing board, so she could kill two birds with one stone and combine the things she had to do with the other things she had to do as well.

She was getting ahead quicker than anticipated and without losing her good mood yet (and from experience she knew that wouldn't happen too soon) and as she had only taken a brief break to move Mikan's playpen into the retreating shadows, the doorbell rung.

A look of confusion invaded her features, as she didn't expect any visitors, but that had never kept them from appearing yet, so after giving her son a last scrutiny to make sure all was well and nothing would happen to him in the few minutes she needed to answer the door and get back, she rose to her feet and entered the corridor.

When she opened the door she found herself opposed by a huge flower bouquet. There were bellflowers, camellias, irises and many other colourful flowers she couldn't quite identify, but they were really beautiful.

"Huh?" Sayuri frowned and rose on tiptoe to see who was hiding behind the huge array of flowers. "Ino?"

"Yep," the blonde woman lowered the flower bouquet to greet her opposite with a wide grin. "Here – for you."

"W-what?"

The combination of Ino and flowers made sense, but still she had no idea why she was giving them to her. She wasn't naïve enough to indulge in the illusion that they were from Sasuke and Ino only acted as deliverer.

"What for?"

"I just wanted to say thank you for letting me play with your son so often."

There was a bright beam on Ino's face, as she pressed the flowers against Sayuri's chest with a little more force, waiting for her to finally take them, but she still looked more confused than anything.

"Are you kidding?" Sayuri shook her head. "I have to thank _you._I'd have little to no free time if it weren't for you."

"Ah, phew," Ino waved her off, now that her hands were finally free and looked over Sayuri's shoulder at what was going on inside. "So… what are you doing?"

"Oh, just the household chores. You wanna come in for a coffee?"

"Only if it's convenient."

"Sure, never mind that, come in and thank you for the flowers. They are really pretty."

"You're welcome. I thought you could need some colour in your living room."

"That's really nice of you. Have a seat while I make coffee and search for a vase."

Although she knew exactly that she didn't have one. They were lacking many of these nonessential things still, but this house was still half a building site after all, so there had to be a bucket or something similar standing around somewhere. Seek and ye shall find. There really was one standing right under the sink.

After five minutes, she returned into the living room and wasn't in the least surprised to find Ino kneel on the ground, her face peeking through the bars of Mikan's playpen, while he was showing her all the toys he had and a few of them ended up hitting the blonde, which he obviously found quite amusing.

"Here's your coffee," Sayuri said, after having watched the two for a while. The table was covered with books and now also pieces of freshly folded clothes, so she first had to make some room, before being able to place the cup on it. Then she went back to get the flowers and searched for a nice spot for them, eventually deciding for the old-fashioned sideboard to the right of the table. It was made of light, almost greyish wood, but had been painted over with a mint green varnish that was peeling off here and there, displaying the original colour. It actually didn't need any additional colour, but the flowers still looked nice there, which is why she left them there.

"Do you mind if I carry on ironing?"

"No, not at all," Ino said and took Mikan into her arms, before she turned to the table and took the first sip of the steaming hot beverage. That is when her eyes fell on a certain piece of clothing that at once caused a gleeful smirk to spread on her lips. "Oh, is that Sasuke's?"

"Nah, it's mine," Sayuri shrugged with a grin on her face, but Ino just ignored her.

"I knew he'd be a boxers kind of guy."

"Well, yes… What's so special about it?"

"Nothing."

Only that she had often enough fantasised about Sasuke and his underwear in her younger years. Heck, even now that image was quite appealing! Sasuke was one hell of an attractive man, to put it mildly, Sayuri could definitely be envied. Although, when she left her hormones aside, she wouldn't want to swap places with her. Sasuke was definitely good to look at, but she couldn't imagine being with him. Except maybe a night or two – only to satisfy her curiosity of course.

Before her train of thoughts could take her any further in a direction she didn't want to go, the Yamanaka was hauled back into reality, as Sasuke's son (!) started crying after having hit himself with his own rattle, exuberant as he was. Good that it wasn't a hard one.

"Hey, you need to be more careful, sweetie," Ino said and took the rattle out of his tiny hand, before she looked at him closely, assessing the damage. "Shh… it's nothing. Give me a smile, huh?"

"It's his gums. Tooth number three is coming. Must hurt pretty bad," Sayuri explained and fought the urge to rush to her son at once and take him away from Ino. It didn't make much of a difference who was holding him and Ino was actually doing a good job and more importantly she enjoyed it. She had actually brought her flowers, when flowers were currently a rarity due to the drought!

"Oh, poor darling. You want something to chew on?"

Ino held her finger in front of Mikan's face and he at once closed his mouth around it, the pressure easing a bit of the pain – Sayuri knew that because she had read it and she saw every day how Mikan used just about everything he could lay his hands on to stuff it into his mouth, but she wondered how Ino knew that… Was it just intuition?

"You're really good with babies."

"Yes, right?" Ino smiled proudly at the no longer crying infant in her arms. "Now Kiba only has to realise so, too."

"Hm… I don't think he doubts that… It's just so early… Are you sure you really want a baby already?"

"Of course, I mean just look at him, look at these tiny fingers."

The beam on Ino's face became impossibly bright, as she brushed her free hand over Mikan's and was delighted as he locked his hand around her finger.

"He's gorgeous – I'm not even his mother but I feel proud every time I hear him laugh. I want that for myself. I know that there is more to being a mother than just playing around – hey, I changed his diapers and I still want a baby, so it can't be a mere whim, right?"

"No probably not," Sayuri agreed with a laugh.

"And you can stay at home all day and don't have to go on missions-"

"-that's the worst about all this!" Sayuri interrupted her, "I'm practically trapped in here. I miss doing missions, or training whenever I want to…"

But the thing was, regardless of how much she missed and wanted these things, she couldn't imagine leaving Mikan alone. The longest time they were ever separated was when they slept, so merely a couple of hours. That was it. Being away for a whole day or worse even multiple weeks like Sasuke? She didn't think she'd survive that… But instead of being proud of herself for having developed such motherly feelings, when she had been sure she would never be able to do so, she was rather frustrated with herself. She was probably as dependent on Mikan as he was on her.

"How can you miss that? What's so great about fighting? Seeing people get hurt, hurting people yourself…" Ino's voice trailed off and Sayuri could see the easy smile drain from Ino's face, leaving it almost blank, but something was there in her pretty but now so static features. She somehow looked troubled, very much so actually, but Sayuri didn't know how to address that or whether to address it at all.

"Sometimes it's necessary to hurt someone, in order to protect those you love," Sayuri replied vaguely, but truthfully enough; she knew that rather well.

"Hmm…" Ino stared at her half-empty coffee mug, before her head shot up as a sudden idea crossed her mind. "Apropos protecting those you love – what about Naruto and Hinata? Are they a couple now or what?"

She successfully changed the topic and could barely suppress an eager grin as her gossip senses started tingling. After all she knew that Naruto and Sayuri were pretty close to each other so she might just turn out to be a well of information.

"I doubt so…" Sayuri grimaced as she thought back of what Naruto had told her about their _date_; he'd needed quite a bit of solace afterwards… "But they are slowly crawling their way towards it, I guess…"

Or hoped. She'd be really happy for them if it worked out – especially for Hinata, since she was so deeply in love with him and then for such a long time and she thought the Hyûga was exactly right for the hyperactive blonde, because she'd bring some peace and balance into his life and with her he'd no longer be alone.

"Maybe they just need a little push…"

More likely a really big one.

"Oh no, better not – such things usually end up bad."

Especially considering that Ino wasn't exactly known for being subtle with her matchmaking attempts. And with how timid Hinata was, she'd probably shy away like a deer from a sudden noise.

"Ah c'mon…" Ino whined in a high pitched voice, her lip protruding in a sulky pout, until a sudden idea came to her mind and her expression again lighted up with a cheeky grin. "They plan the festival soon, how about we get ready together and interrogate Hinata then?"

"The festival?"

She had almost forgotten about that. Once the rebuilding of the park was done – the last public institution that was left – they wanted to celebrate the new Konoha or rather the fact that even after having been completely destroyed the Hidden Leaf had managed to get back on its feet. As a matter of fact, it took place a few days after her exam – if that wasn't a reason to celebrate…

"Yep – Hey how about we do a complete make over?" Ino asked with a vivid spark in her eyes. "I mean, no offence, but… are you letting your bangs grow out or is there something about your face you have to hide? Like your eyes or something…? Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it looks bad – it really doesn't. It's just kind of hard to figure out…"

"I-it really is pretty long, isn't it?" Sayuri grimaced and pulled at a strand of her bangs, which almost reached down to her chin, before she pushed it out of her face again and shrugged, "I just don't have time for such things at the moment."

"Oh, just leave that to me. I have a lot of free time. I'll come up with something."

"Y-you don't have to," Sayuri stammered, a little intimidated by the steely look of determination on the Yamanaka's face.

"Nonsense, this'll be fun."

"If you say so…"

It was still hard for Sayuri to believe that Ino and her had actually become such close friends lately. She had always thought that Ino was interested in nothing but boys and clothes – that she was just superficial and maybe she was, but that was just one tiny facet of her character and she had many positive traits that made up for that: she was always cheerful, reliable and she truly enjoyed helping other people.

"It'll be great. I'll pick you a nice dress, do your hair and you could do well with a bit of make up – no offence," she assured again with a sheepish smile on her face. "And maybe a bit of alcohol will loosen Hinata's tongue, what do you think?"

"I don't know…" Sayuri shrugged, but then lifted her gaze from her ironing as Mikan started coughing.

"Hey there."

"He probably just swallowed some drool," Sayuri explained, but couldn't get herself to take her eyes off her son, lest she was wrong and she was almost tempted to believe so, as he coughed again and then even started crying. Not even as Ino began rocking him slightly and rubbed his back, did he stop and before she knew it, she was already on her way to him, mentally going through every childhood disease she ever read about (and that were a lot!) that were in any way related to coughing.

"Shh… what is it, huh?" she asked as she took Mikan out of Ino's arms and gently ran a hand across his hair, coming to a halt on his forehead to check his temperature. To her great relief he had no fever, but that relief didn't last long, because she still didn't know what was wrong with him and every further sob tugged at her raw conscience and there was a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Maybe he caught a cold or worse even a virus?

When he started chewing on her shoulder, she was sure it were again just his gums. Because the new tooth was coming, he was drooling a lot, which is why he had been coughing and since the sharp teeth cutting through his soft gum caused him quite some pain he was crying – her first guess had been right.

She heaved a relieved sigh and pressed a soft kiss against her son's head and couldn't believe she had actually thought of who knows what disease because of a simple cough!

She had become the very kind of mother she had never wanted to be; she used to make fun of even. How annoyed she has always been when she was working in the hospital and an entirely dissolved woman had stormed in with her child, because it scratched its knee on the playground. Maybe it had a blood poisoning or it would die from the blood loss… These women have been more than annoying with their insistence on their children's ill-being. Now she was hardly better. Ever since she read that book on childhood diseases, she suspected the worst behind every cough or sneeze. She really didn't like the person she had become. Maybe she would if it didn't appear so foreign to her; it just wasn't her and after years of being herself she had gotten used to who she was and couldn't really help disliking her new self.

But she loved the person that had turned her into this stranger.

* * *

><p>Ino spent the whole evening at her friend's house; after all neither Sasuke nor Kiba were home, so they had to do something to kill time, right? The club of lonely women or something… She had seen though that Sayuri had more than enough to do still. She didn't know how she coped with all the work, but to help her at least a little, she had decided she had distracted her enough and volunteered to take Mikan out for a walk, so she could fully concentrate on her books. Sayuri had been a bit hesitant, though, seeing as he was so whiny today, but well, that's how babies were and she had assured her she'd be able to deal with him and she was sure that wouldn't be a problem.<p>

Shoving the buggy in front of her, Ino stepped out of the house and into the new Uchiha-quarter – only that it was restricted to one house and the garden surrounding it. A huge garden, though, since there weren't so very many other houses nearby. After having laid back hardly more than a dozen metres, the blonde caught sight of the owner of the house.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun." She waved and smiled at the dark-haired man, but merely received a nod in response. That was one of the reasons, why she couldn't imagine a relationship with Sasuke, although the reasons that spoke for it-

-okay, she really had to chase away those impure thoughts, before she'd start blushing or giggling.

"On your way home?" she asked, just for the sake of saying something, although the fact that he was almost standing on his porch already, clearly supported her guess.

"Hn."

Not even a full word! She'd probably go nuts with such a tight-lipped partner, but then her clear blue eyes met Sasuke's, which had up to then been focused on his son and now she merely felt giddy. She was a confident woman, she wouldn't let herself be unsettled by someone's mere looks, but even without his kekkei genkai the Uchiha's eyes looked mighty dangerous and yet mesmerising all the same. Gosh, she kind of liked him alright, but she couldn't stand being alone with him…

"Where are you going?" His voice was deep and raspy and from how he was still watching her with that stern expression, she wondered if he thought she was kidnapping his son.

"Taking him for a walk, so Sayuri has some free time."

"Hn."

And again! Damn, she really felt like grabbing him by his collar and shaking some actual words out of him. She wondered how he'd react when she actually did.

"Well then." She offered a smile, while she was actually chilled still by that last thought. "See you later."

She waved at him and started walking, wondering if his sunshine of a son will one day become like his father too. She really hoped for him that he had only inherited his father's looks – and his abilities, but not one speck of his personality.

"You have a minute?" Sasuke held her back, as she had only just passed him and there was definitely something reluctant in his voice. Ino was merely surprised and that was easy to see as she turned around to the dark-haired man.

"Sure." She nodded, feeling a little uneasy though. He had never yet asked her anything like this and she became even more uneasy as he just wouldn't say anything else then and basically just looked through her. "What is it?"

He took a deep breath and now at the latest she was sure he was reluctant to do this, but finally his dark eyes focused on her again, but what he said, couldn't have been any more surprising.

"I need your help with something…"

* * *

><p><em>With every trace, physical or spiritual, even pretend, of her family gone, these once so imposing buildings felt lonelier than ever. <em>

_She used to be so proud of her clan and their village, but what was left of her clan were only her uncle and her and the two of them were definitely no one to be proud of and this village wasn't a place to be happy in any longer. It was just a compound of empty buildings, charged with happy memories that were mocking the present with their transience._

_The bad memories remained though. They were doomed to linger forever in the broken windows, the blood-stained floorboards, the torn paper screens of the doors, the holes in the walls._

_The ugly burn mark in the very centre of the premise._

_ All that was left was an abandoned ghost town, haunted by the living._

…

…


	7. Domestic bliss

**7. Domestic bliss**

_Two households, both alike in dignity,_

_In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,_

_From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,_

_Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean._

* * *

><p>That is the stuff that stories are written about. Not Hinata's favourite maybe; she didn't understand why love stories needed a tragic end in order to be forever regarded as exactly that. Romeo and Juliet and their <em>eternal<em> love, when they had seen each other what? - A couple of days, before Romeo's had to flee, abandoning his love for the sake of love? Only because they decided to end their lives in the spur of the moment to be entwined forever in everlasting nothingness?

To Hinata the romantic value of the play remained obscure. Just imagine how the story would have gone on if it hadn't been for the cathartic tragedy that ended this world-famous love before it had a chance to ripen. What if hot-headed Romeo's eyes had fallen on another bright angel, who would then monopolise his erratic and far too forgetful heart? How would their renowned love have turned out if they had actually had a chance to live it out? Would anyone even bother to talk and read about them if death hadn't come upon them and thus preserved their love in the moment it has been greatest, due to being new, due to not having had to stand up to reality and everyday life yet?

Love at first sight is too fickle to be meaningful, that was her opinion in any case. _Her_ love has had years and years to ripen and she was sure it was earnest and now there might finally be a chance for it to be returned. Only time will tell, but that she had plenty of. After having waited for multiple years, a little more time wouldn't make much of a difference. In fact she had rather things go slow; she probably couldn't cope with anything else.

Up until now, their _dates_ always ended up with one of them running away. The first time it had been her, the second time Naruto. She wondered what would happen when they saw each other this evening. Would they both run away this time, or would they stay and actually get to saying goodbye.

She almost wished it was the former. If their dates actually had an end, then there was no way to deny what they were and that would put a whole lot of pressure on them.

But they held hands already!

For almost five minutes even, but that didn't have to mean anything. After all she had nearly fainted beforehand, so maybe he had only meant to make sure that she wouldn't do so and that she wouldn't run into him again – pure self-interest. But if that had really been all there was to it, then he probably wouldn't have intercepted her this afternoon after training to ask her if she had time and of course he wanted to meet at Ichiraku again. If things went well, she might become a regular customer there, too. Although that probably wasn't in Teuchi's interest, seeing as whenever she ate there with Naruto she didn't have to pay. She'd probably feel uncomfortable about being treated by him so often, especially since he wasn't exactly rich, whereas she- well… she was, or her clan was, but since he ate there for free it was okay.

Hinata's gaze wandered to the door, as she perceived a soft knock and after letting her pale eyes roam through her room to make sure it was neat, and same as always her room was as neat as a pin, did she answer.

"Yes?"

Slowly the paper door slid open and there on the wooden porch knelt Kô, with his head lowered, as was appropriate for a member of the Hyûga branch house. They really were an old fashioned clan – not to say outdated.

"Hinata-sama." He lifted his head, looking at her with pale eyes that were like Hinata's own and soft features that were also very much like Hinata's and that although they weren't even closely related. "Your father wishes to see you."

That didn't sound too well, and by experience she knew that it has never yet meant anything good when he had sent after her in that way.

"O-okay," Hinata gulped and rose to her feet and only as she was standing, did Kô get up as well, beckoning her with a flick of his head to follow him.

Without saying a word, they walked across the wooden porch, surrounding the wing where the bedrooms were located, then they passed a small bridge, which connected it to the main house. All this time, Hinata was engrossed in thoughts, trying her best to find out what all of this could mean, so she wouldn't be too surprised, but never would innocent Hinata have suspected, or even imagined, the reason for her father's summon.

Kô came to a halt and knocked at the wood, surrounding the shoji, which led into a simple room her father liked to play shôgi in, then he turned to the much younger woman, who was still superior to him in rank, and gave her a small nod, before turning his back on her and walking off.

_Maybe__ it__'__s__ nothing_, Hinata encouraged herself, before she entered the room, finding her father sit there on the beige tatami mats in semi-darkness.

"You asked to see me, father?" Hinata asked, after having bowed her head to pay her father the proper respect.

"Sit down." Was all he said, and so Hinata did as she was told and waited to be enlightened about the reason for her coming here, but Hiashi sat with his eyes closed and his arms folded in front of his chest, enveloped by a heavy silence. Didn't he look grim?

"Isn't there something you want to tell me?"

At length he broke the pregnant silence, which had sure enough begun to unsettle his daughter, but as his eyes opened, the look in them eradicated every bit of ease, the sound of his voice had brought upon her. And then the contents of his words…

"Pardon?" Hinata asked, her voice brimming with confusion and she tried hard to think of something, but just couldn't do so. What could she have omitted to tell her father that might even be of the remotest interest to him? "I don't think so…"

His eyes closed again, with more force than before and with his jaw set hard, he pressed out a tight-lipped response, "For my own daughter to lie to my face like that…"

"W-what? I'm not lying. I don't even know what-"

"-Silence!" Hiashi interrupted and every further word died in Hinata's throat, so all she did was stare with wide eyes at her father, as he closed his eyes again to calm himself. "Then tell me," he began slowly, "is it not true that you have become closely acquainted with Uzumaki Naruto?"

So this was it? How did he even know? And why did it demand a private conversation?

"F-father-"

"-Answer the question!"

Too shocked still by the turn this situation had taken, Hinata didn't trust her own voice and so all she did was lower her head (in shame?) and nod.

"That will stop."

"Huh?" Her head jerked up, her pearly eyes filled with horror and confusion and still a fading spark of hope that tried to convince her that she hadn't heard right. "P-pardon?"

"I cannot approve of such a relation-ship. You are a member of the Hyûga main family. Uzumaki Naruto is below your-"

"-Father! How can you say something like this? He saved Konoha all by himself and-"

"-Do not interrupt me," he cut in and gave his daughter a cold glare, as she bit on her bottom lip to keep herself from defending the blonde. "Don't forget about your responsibility towards your clan. You are my eldest daughter and it is not yet decided whether I will choose you or your sister as my heiress."

Officially it wasn't decided, but Hinata had a not so faint idea who it was going to be.

"If the honour falls to you, your husband will automatically lead the clan along with you and evidently that person cannot be someone who does not belong to our clan or another clan of equal status."

"B-but-"

"-and you are gifted with a powerful Byakugan. I will not allow it to get tainted."

Hinata didn't even know what to say to that, but it had clearly left her blanching. It was a little too much for her to digest and so she just sat there and stared at her father with an empty gaze, before she eventually moistened her lips and prepared for her response.

"If that is the case," she began, her voice sounding dry and shaky and she wasn't altogether sure what she wanted to say in the first place, but she tried, "If that is the case, then I will relinquish the title of heiress in Hanabi's favour."

"Foolish," Hiashi hissed.

He had seen his once so weak daughter develop and grow greatly in the past years, giving him reasons to be proud of her and believe in her, which is why he had come to the decision to give her a chance to become his successor after all– a great honour – and now she wanted to throw all that away for a simple, asinine infatuation?

"And that is not for you to decide. You are my daughter and you'll do as I tell you. You will stop seeing Uzumaki Naruto instantaneously."

"Y-you can't do that!"

This had to be a joke. It had to.

"That's enough of you. Now go to your room." First she lied and now she opposed him. "If your mother had seen how little you cherish your clan."

"Mother would have been glad for me," Hinata wailed, trying her best to keep her eyes from leaking. Not in front of _him_. "She was more concerned about her children's happiness than some old-fashioned rules."

"To your room. Now."

And without casting another glance at her father, Hinata did exactly that, telling herself she didn't do so, because he told her to, but because she couldn't stand to look at him any longer. She still couldn't believe this had actually happened. Never would she have thought that her father would act like this. And then because of nothing. They didn't even kiss! All they had done was meet a couple of times. Naruto had only just begun to _see_ her and that was too much already?

She had the tragedy without the love.

It just wasn't fair.

* * *

><p>"Kazekage-sama!"<p>

An entirely distraught man charged into the office of the Kage of Suna Gakure. Before he had much of a chance to place himself and take in any details of the room he had just assaulted or the two people in it, his vision was blocked by a bulky torso and he only just evaded running into it by a hair's breadth.

"Ever heard of knocking? What's with your manners?"

Kankurô seized the reeling man by his shoulders and steadied him none too gently, while giving him a stern look that was enhanced by his face painting that didn't exactly look friendly.

"Kankurô," Gaara's voice was calm, a tad worn out maybe, but even so it sufficed to restrain the considerably taller man.

"You're too lenient," he sighed and dropped his hands to his sides, before taking a step back to let the man – judging from his attire a member of the falconry – have a look at his little brother, the most important person in the entire village and Kankurô would say he wasn't much lower in rank than his brother (although that was also _because_ of his brother). "If I were you, I'd teach him some respect."

"Hm," Gaara merely gave a dismissive sound, before focussing his sea green eyes on the panting and thanks to Kankurô now also decidedly nervous man. "What did you come for?"

"O-oh…" For a second he looked as though he had forgotten it, but then you could literally see the gravity of whatever concern he had crash down on him like an avalanche and then he all but stormed to Gaara's desk and leant as far to the front as he could. "They found one of the missing persons!"

"What?" Gaara and Kankurô exclaimed in unison and even their faces displayed a little amount of similarity; Gaara's was hidden under a mask of seeming indifference; Kankurô's was hidden under a thick layer of paint.

"Who, when and where?" Kankurô asked excitedly.

"Status?" Gaara posed a question of his own, and it was this question which made the two other men falter a second, before it was answered.

"He is dead."

"Shit," Kankurô cursed and brought a hand to his head, while his eyes drifted out of one of the small round windows.

It's what they expected from the start; after not having heard anything of them in 24 hours, they have been sure they were dead, but even so, having one's assumptions confirmed was an entirely different thing.

"Go on," Gaara bid him, his voice displaying no trace of consternation, although there was something in the sea of his eyes that disturbed the usually so smooth surface.

"They found him only this morning, in the middle of a road in the Land of Sound. They haven't identified him yet, but he is a shinobi of Suna Gakure."

"In the middle of a road?" Kankurô frowned and gave his little brother a meaningful look.

"As though he was intended to be found…" Gaara finished his brother's train of thoughts. "And then in the Land of Sound…?"

"But it fits to our calculations," Kankurô said. "The fist people vanished in the Land of Wind, then near Ame Gakure, in the north of the Land of Fire and now the Land of Sound – whoever it is clearly moves north-east!"

"But it doesn't make any sense." Gaara narrowed his eyes and balanced his chin against the palm of his hand. "Someone who is able to abduct several persons – at times out of a group – without anyone noticing, shouldn't be so easy to read. And besides, why would someone kidnap a person here and then dispose of the body several days later in a different country?"

"Maybe he's had his hands full with carrying all the bodies and dropped one on the way…" Kankurô sneered, but his little joke was only received with cold faces – his humour wasn't for everyone.

"Anything special about the corpse?"

"I don't know yet. The detailed report has yet to come."

"Very well," Gaara nodded. "Resume your post and come back when the report arrives."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama."

The man inclined his head slightly, before he stepped backwards until he reached the door and then walked out of the office, leaving two-thirds of the Sand Siblings alone in it.

"So, what'll we do now?"

"Inform Konoha about our current situation. We can give them the details personally."

"Ah, right!" Kankurô slammed his fist into his open palm, as he remembered the festival, they were invited to. "We set out to Konoha tomorrow, right? That's what I call timing…"

"Hm…" Gaara shrugged, not so sure if the timing was really fortunate, seeing as he would have to leave his village alone at a time when people just vanished like shadows in the night.

* * *

><p>These were probably the worst thirty minutes of Naruto's whole life.<p>

He just came back from training – alone, since as it seemed there was again no one there but him, or at least no one had time but him. Sasuke was doing one of these dangerous missions – with _Sai_ – and guess who's been left out again? It didn't matter just how much he would give – no one cared. Sakura and Kakashi were somewhere else as well and Yamato was busy with giving the final touch to the village. Accordingly, he wouldn't be given a mission any time soon. Unsurprisingly his mood wasn't the best, but there has been this single sliver of light that had helped him get through this day and that was his dinner with Hinata, which should have started forty minutes ago.

And now he was standing here in front of Ichiraku since thirty minutes (he's been a little late as well), exhausted from the training, his stomach growling, his mouth watering because of all the smells and the clinking of plates and still no Hinata. It wasn't much like her to be late actually and he doubted she had left already because he's been a little late, since that wasn't exactly unusual, so she probably expected as much.

And it smelled so good… Damn he was hungry…

She hadn't forgotten about him, had she? He couldn't really imagine it – not Hinata…

Maybe it was just a thing about not having eaten anything in quite a while, but he definitely had a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

15 minutes – if she didn't show up by then, he'd go and search her and as it so happened, time dragged on and still no trace of the Hyûga. He was really beginning to get a little worried, and so, just as he decided, he set out to look for her (after he had bought a serving of ramen, so he wouldn't starve during his search). He couldn't really think of anything that could have happened to her in a village as calm as Konoha was at the moment, except for maybe an accident during training or maybe she was ill?

He walked across roads, dyed orange by the remaining light of the setting sun, past a river that looked as though it was on fire, but he was too preoccupied to pay attention to the beauty of his surroundings. By the time the Hyûga estate appeared in sight, the sun was almost gone anyway. It was located on the outskirts of Konoha, so he didn't come here too often. Actually it was the first time since the rebuilding that he saw it – finished at least. It was even bigger than the old one, but same as that, it was entirely surrounded by lofty walls that had a somewhat deterrent effect and kept outsiders (like him) from peeking in, which is why he couldn't see anything but the upper floors and the roof. Anyhow, the mansion with all its sub-houses was really great and imposing-

-He'd be damned if he cared about something like that!

Bold as he was, he walked to the first entrance he saw and it wasn't just a simple entrance, but more like a small shed within the wall that led onto an ample inner yard, extending between the single houses, if Naruto remembered correctly. Before he even had a chance to decide whether he should just go in or knock first (and maybe wait half an hour for someone to show up?) the door slid open by itself and out stepped a person he knew all too well.

"Hey, Neji!" Naruto waved at the other man. His steps quickened, until he reached the Hyûga, who had just shut the door again.

"Naruto-kun," Neji nodded at him and Naruto wasn't sure if it could be attributed to Neji's stoic nature, but somehow the Hyûga didn't seem too enthusiastic about seeing him here. Well, it's not like he's come to see _him_.

"Is Hinata there? We meant to meet more than an hour ago, but she didn't show up."

"Yes, she's here."

"Then why didn't she come?" His voice was rising in pitch. "Is she alright?"

"If you refer to her physical condition, then yes."

"Eh?" Naruto inclined his head a little, almost like a puzzled puppy.

"She is alright," Neji sighed and shook his head about Naruto's cluelessness.

"Then what is it? Why didn't she come?"

"That is no concern of mine."

"If that's the case, then let me see her." Naruto pressed out every word separately, slowly but surely losing his patience with Hinata's cousin.

"I fear I can't do that." Neji remained adamant and already braced himself for Naruto's reaction, since he was sure he wouldn't take it too well.

"What? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Keep your voice down," Neji hissed and narrowed his eyes, before he looked from side to side, hoping that no one heard them and Naruto noticed so, which was probably the only reason why he decided to follow Neji's request.

"Then what is it?" he whispered, hoping for the Hyûga to have a good explanation at hand.

"I'm not allowed to tell you," he began and raised his hand as he saw how Naruto opened his mouth to retort. "There is some sort of… dispute within our clan. It would be better if you didn't see her for a while."

"What do you mean _for_ _a__while_?"

"At least until the situation has calmed again."

"Is Hinata in trouble?"

The moment the question was out, he noticed just how absurd it was – what could Hinata ever do to get herself in trouble?

Again Neji's eyes switched to the side, to one of the upper windows, while he seemed to be pondering Naruto's question and when his pale eyes again met Naruto's blue ones, there was a steadfast look in them.

"You should really leave now and don't come here again. This isn't the time in which visitors are welcome here."

Another nod of the head and then Neji turned around and vanished inside the huge building, leaving Naruto stand there alone in the empty street, his gaze wandering up to the window Neji's eyes had targeted.

Just now, the walls looked more deterrent than they did mere moments ago.

* * *

><p>Revision and revision.<p>

It was the last day – well, actually the last 10 hours before Sayuri had to sit her exam. Then it would become apparent whether her hours of excruciating revision have been a waste of time or not.

It have been some of the busiest weeks in all her life and yet she could barely remember having done anything. She hoped she wasn't right, because otherwise the exam would turn out to be a catastrophe and she would have wasted a lot of time and nerve on apparently doing not enough or maybe just not the right things. But that couldn't really happen – after all Tsunade had chosen her literature herself and she had worked through each and every single book and scroll, so there was no way she could have maybe focused on the wrong aspects and left out the essential ones. The only thing that could happen was a sudden blackout and she'd say she was rather prone to that. How could she not break down under the pressure of an exam situation? If she could choose, she'd do a practical test – there you always had a way to wind yourself out of an impasse, whereas in a written test you couldn't – there was just right or wrong and you had nothing to rely on but your pen, your paper and your brain, which often enough crashed like a computer when it mattered most.

She'd _so_ mess up.

She just knew it, because she knew herself and knew what she was capable of and what not, and so, instead of going to sleep and getting some rest before her big day, which would be the most reasonable thing to do, Sayuri pored over her books, trying to extricate even the last bit of knowledge and squeeze it into her already overloaded brain which was crying out in protest, but it's not like she cared. She didn't really care about anything right now; not that her eyes were red from the strain of reading in the dim light, not that her stomach was beyond empty and hadn't seen anything lately but coffee and sweets, and not that her head was aching, as though she actually just slammed the books against her skull and hoped something would remain stuck.

Most of the day, she left Mikan in Ino's care and had put him to bed early now, so she could make the best of the last hours she had. That was the initial plan at least, but plans – especially hers – had the habit to be thwarted.

"You're not serious, are you?"

Sayuri's head shot up at the sound of the voice and at once focused on the dark-haired man, standing in the doorframe with his backpack hanging from his shoulder.

"Sasuke!" His name escaped her in excitement about having him back again, after no less than five days, but the smile quickly drained from her face as she saw the frown on his, which caused her to lower her gaze to her working place – their bed.

Cross-legged, she sat on the cool cotton sheets which were now covered with books and pencils and loose sheets of paper and then she was sitting on his side even, since the lamp was on his night table. Seeing as he had just returned from his mission – and a hard one it must have been, judging from the condition of his clothes – he was probably exhausted, so no wonder he didn't look too happy as he beheld the current state of his sleeping place.

"I'll wrap it up and go into the kitchen," she said and started putting her things away hectically, or that's what it looked like because her hands were all jerky and twitchy, due to fatigue combined with an overload of caffeine, but then she saw from the corner of her eyes, how Sasuke stepped to the foot of the bed and watched her expectantly.

She let out an amused sound, before she crawled to the edge of the bed and rose up on her knees to be on a level with him, but she still had to lengthen her neck to kiss him. Real slow and softly. It felt really good to have him back.

"Welcome home." She smiled at him and walked her fingers up and down the nape of his neck.

"You look terrible," Sasuke noted and ran a hand across Sayuri's cheek, his thumb trailing the dark shadows under her eyes, while her face twisted into a grimace and she pulled her head back slightly.

Hadn't she just thought about how glad she was to have him back?

"Wow, Sasuke, you really know how to flatter a girl," she snubbed and rolled her eyes, feeling more offended by this simple remark than she ought to, especially since she knew he was right, but still she couldn't help pouting. Maybe because she was disappointed that it took so short a time for him to notice – people in love were supposed to be oblivious to all that right? Where were his rose-coloured glasses? Had she known he would come back already, she would have made sure to look presentable for him, the way she always did. She often had trouble to fall asleep and even when she at length did, her sleep was usually disturbed by nightmares, though she never quite remembered what they were about. That didn't mean that she couldn't imagine though. Every time she woke up her heart was racing and she felt the overwhelming urge to flee and there was just one person she could think of that could evoke such feelings in her.

She tried her best to hide the traces of insomnia from everyone's eyes – especially Sasuke's. He was already putting enough pressure on himself, she didn't want to make it worse by having him worry about her.

Besides she didn't want him to see just how weak she really was.

Actually she was always glad to have him home, although his stays also entailed a lot of pretending and that was exhausting. Still that was a sacrifice she was all too willing to make. With her exam tomorrow, she at least had a solid reason that justified her current condition; he wouldn't be able to tell that it was the norm.

"And it's not like you look that much better either, _love_," she added wryly, and gave him a sharp look, before she sized him up from head to toe. Now that she was close enough to him, she actually saw the full extend of whatever happened to him; it weren't only his clothes – he looked rather battered in general. "You look like something the cat dragged in… What happened to you?"

"Just some scratches." He shrugged, without ever taking his eyes off his girlfriend, occupied with a scrutiny of his own.

"Scratches?"

Happened rarely enough…

"Hn," he nodded. "Thought you might want to practice on a real person."

"…"

That left her blanching some more, as she was reminded of her exam and now all the anxiety, she had almost forgotten about due to the surprise of seeing him, came flooding right back, but she tried hard not to let it get the best of her.

"Take your shirt off," she ordered calmly, her hollow voice belying her composure.

Without a word, Sasuke followed her request and revealed a body littered with scratches and bruises. Not really grave ones though, but then it happened rarely enough for him to come home with but a speck of dirt on his clothes, so the shocked look on Sayuri's face was definitely justified.

They sent him on tougher and tougher missions lately. There haven't been any conditions related to his renewed return to Konoha, since officially he never left; officially he fought for Konoha like a hero, which was only partly true. Accordingly, they couldn't demand any reparations from him this time, which is why they had apparently decided to make use of him otherwise by sending him (at times even alone) on really dangerous and therefore high-reward missions that actually exceeded his official rank by far. And then he was still a part of Team 7 and had to join them on whichever mission they were given, too, although those were anything but dangerous, but unfortunately they were often long…

"Does it hurt?" Sayuri met his eyes, her hands hovering a little above his skin, anxious to touch him. That made it easy for Sasuke to see they were trembling.

"No." He closed his hand around hers and pressed them against his warm but wounded skin without batting a lid and watched her nod, before she lowered her head and began working on his body in silence.

"Nervous?" Sasuke broke the deep silence after a while, making Sayuri flinch in surprise, but she stayed meticulously focused on her task.

"It's just some scratches."

"That's not what I mean. Your exam's tomorrow, isn't it?"

"Yeah…" she sighed and slumped back on her heels, as she finished her work and pushed her bangs out of her face, leaving her hands on her forehead. "Just… trying not to think about it…"

Her gaze wandered over her shoulder, to the books she had piled up, before another despondent sigh escaped her lips and she crawled back on the bed, to put her things away and make room for Sasuke.

"It's just an exam, you shouldn't attach so much importance to it."

"It's not just an exam!" Sayuri exclaimed and spun around. "It is _the_ highest exam for all medic-nin! I can practically do whatever I want when I pass it – even go on ANBU missions!"

She deliberately omitted to mention the separate exam she'd need to take then; it wouldn't even sound half as special then.

"ANBU missions?"

"Yes!" she smiled, too excited to even notice that Sasuke didn't look excited in the least, on the contrary… "I'm a little out of shape still, but well… maybe you could train me - so I won't come back from a mission, looking like you just did." She grinned, while Sasuke's face remained set in a blank mask. "How did you do anyway?"

"It was a success," Sasuke said and began unloading his backpack, putting his weapons on one pile and his clothes on another.

"Thought so," she grinned, a little proud maybe, but most of all tired, before she scrambled off the bed and gave it a once-over to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. Wouldn't feel good to have a pen sticking in your back when you're trying to sleep… "But then how come you look like that?"

"Happens," he shrugged.

"Wow… thanks for talking to me." She rolled her eyes and marched to the door, the lack of sleep making her exceedingly irritable.

"You don't really mean to carry on studying." Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed, and secretly Sayuri was glad about his dissent – she wanted nothing more than to be held back, but of course she'd never admit that, but if he had some really convincing arguments…

"What else should I do?"

"Call me crazy, but I'd say go to bed," he said dryly.

"Like I could," she sighed and slumped back against the doorframe, looking as though she was close to buckle under the weight of the books, she was clutching to her chest like they could keep her from falling apart. "I'm so glad when this is finally over…"

Without a word, Sasuke rose to his feet and covered the way to his girlfriend. He took the books out of her hands, expecting her to protest, but she was far too tired for that. All she wanted was to sleep.

"If there's anything you don't know yet, it's too late anyway."

"Hm…" She nodded but kept her eyes fixed on the wooden frame in front of her.

"Then go and get ready."

There was Sasuke's caring side and Sayuri couldn't help smirking, suppressing the urge to say 'Yes, Daddy', before she followed his well-meant advice, without feeling weak for having given in.

* * *

><p>Drenched in tears, the pillows were too stiff and sticky to allow drifting into a comfortable sleep. Not that Hinata's troubled mind would have been able to shut off anyhow. They were just silently flowing now, the tears that is, while the sobs had long died out, leaving her exhausted but none the better.<p>

The moment she perceived faint footsteps in the corridor beyond her room, she was glad that she had managed to compose herself enough (actually she has just cried so much that her throat was too dry to produce any further sounds), because if she hadn't she might have missed them. Especially as they paused right in front of her door.

When it was pushed open, Hinata pushed her eyes shut, pretending to be sleeping. Good that she was lying with her face turned away from the door and her blanket pulled up to her nose, so her still wet cheeks, should be obscured from anyone's view.

"Hinata?"

_Father?_

The surprise of hearing his voice almost made her blow her cover, especially since she was used to answering his calls right away; it seemed almost unnatural not to, and demanded a good deal of restraint on her part. But she remained quiet, trying to keep her breathing calm and shallow as to resemble that of a sleeping person, but since she was still upset, it felt as though she would suffocate from her attempts at being calm.

The floorboards creaked slightly, as he took another step forward, inward, but then halted again, hesitant, his presence not managing to dominate the room the way it usually did.

"You know that this is for your own good. You are my daughter. You're one of the two most precious people in my life."

He left then and the moment the sound of his steps died out, the sobs returned on a surge of the kept breath she finally dared to release, breaking through the short-lived silence and again she could do nothing but suffocate herself with her pillow as she cried and cried and cried.

What a lucky girl she was to have a father who cared so much.

* * *

><p>Telling her she looked terrible has been a bit harsh of Sasuke, which didn't mean he wasn't at least partly right…<p>

In the harsh, fluorescent light of the bathroom, she stood and stared at the girl in the mirror. The hot and most of all lengthy shower she had taken, just hadn't been enough to wash away the traces of neglect and exhaustion. Even with a dozen pairs of rose-coloured glasses there was no way for Sasuke to miss that.

But tomorrow it would be all different. Tomorrow she'd take her exam and once it was over she'd come home and sleep for at least one whole week. Until then, she looked forward to her bed and more importantly to finding it not empty. It might sound stupid, but she really slept better when Sasuke was there. Not only did she feel more at ease when she knew he was there and she didn't have to worry about him, but it also made it easier for her to ignore the eerie nocturnal sounds or the occasional creaking of wood, which might be footsteps for all she knew, because she felt safe in his presence and feeling safe wasn't something to take for granted during times like these…

The smell of toothpaste was beginning to make her sick, so she fled the bath and quietly entered the bedroom, just in case Sasuke was asleep already, but the bed was still empty and as Sayuri roamed her eyes through the room, she found him at Mikan's crib. He had his arms folded on the side of it, looking down at his sleeping son with that rare, tender quality in his eyes.

A faint smile graced Sayuri's lips, before she made her way to the dark-haired man and wrapped her arm around his. She rested her head against his shoulder and enjoyed the closeness and the moment of tranquillity.

"He called me _Dad_, today," Sayuri broke the silence after a while and gave Sasuke a little push with her shoulder and turned her face his way. "Or maybe he just asked after you."

"Hm…" Sasuke gave a sceptical sound and stared absent-mindedly at his son, before he asked, "How was your week?"

"Stressful," she sighed and leaned her face against his arm. "But his tooth finally broke through and now he's again laughing all the time and he babbles like a waterfall. Sometimes I even pick up real words, but I guess that's just coincidence."

"Who knows?" Sasuke shrugged and turned his face to the side, giving Sayuri a challenging look.

"Yeah," she giggled, before she again looked at her son and pulled his blanket a little higher. "He's so handsome… We did a good job, don't you think?"

"That we did," the Uchiha smirked and pressed a kiss against Sayuri's lips, before he straightened himself and folded his girlfriend in his arms, his chin resting on the top of her head.

"Let's go to bed," he murmured against her damp hair and inhaled the faint floral scent of her shampoo.

"Uh-huh," Sayuri nodded but kept her eyes closed and her arms loosely wrapped around his lean waist, until he turned to the bed and slid into it.

He, too, has had a hard day and was in dire need of rest. Sayuri went to the wardrobe first and put on her pyjama. Then she went to the bed and started rummaging in the drawer of the night table, until she found the little box with her pills in it, but just as she meant to open it, she was kept from doing so.

"Wha-?" She furrowed her brows and cast a puzzled look at Sasuke's hand, which was now closed around her own, slowly but determinedly leading it away from the drawer.

"You wanted to talk right? Let's talk about this."

"Huh?" She still stared at him with confusion written all over her face, but as Sasuke then sat up and pulled her onto his lap, things were slowly beginning to dawn on her.

"Let's have another baby."

Those were the very words she had dreaded to hear and although she had expected as much, it still caught her off guard and she couldn't do anything but gape, while Sasuke's hands already wandered to her hips.

"The time is perfect now. You still have to stay at home, because of Mikan, but he is not so small any more that he needs constant attention. If we wait longer, you'd have to take another break from work, but if we had a baby now, you'd only have to extend the one you are doing anyhow."

"Okay," she shook her head dazedly, before an angered expression began to manifest on her face. "If you don't take your hands away, I swear you'll sleep on the couch."

That hit home. Sasuke at once dropped his hands and Sayuri didn't waste any time to climb off his lap and actually meant to crawl to her side of the mattress and just sleep and pretend this never happened, but she couldn't. How could she? And so she slid from the bed and planted herself in front of Sasuke with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"I'm finally close to start working again and all of a sudden you feel like having a second child, which would mean I'd have to stay at home for another few years."

"What is sudden about this? I've always said I wanted a big family."

"Yeah, and as we all know it's always about what you want," Sayuri spat, while now at length, Sasuke's face was also invaded by a hint of anger.

"You like being a mother, so where is the problem?"

"I like being Mikan's mother. It's only _you_ who wants more children, not me."

"You didn't want Mikan either and is it so bad now?" Sasuke hissed, his dark eyes narrowed, while Sayuri's widened at his words.

"Of course it isn't. I love him, but I still don't want another baby."

Not yet anyway…

"You say that now, but once it's there, you change your mind."

"But I don't want to be forced to change my mind again!" Her voice became louder, but Sasuke seemed entirely unimpressed. "I'm 19 years old. When I walk with the buggy through the village, people give me strange looks. How will they look when I have two of them?"

"Why do you care about what other people think about you?"

"Because they are right! It-" she broke off as she heard Mikan stir in his crib, probably disturbed by the ruckus going on around him, so after waiting a while, to make sure he was still sleeping, she carried on in a low voice, "It… it's just unnatural. We are both so young. Why are you in such a hurry? We have all the time in the world. Why not wait… ten years or something…?"

"We are both ninja, Sayuri, the future isn't something you can take for granted. You never know what happens, so why waste any time?"

"No, _you_ are a ninja – _I_ am just a housewife," she said. "I'm in no- oh, now I see! It's because I talked about the ANBU right?" She dropped her arms to her sides and gave him in an exasperated look, waiting for him to at least admit it. "That's just wishful thinking – as though there was any chance I could join the ANBU…"

"That doesn't matter; even the easiest missions can be dangerous," Sasuke began slowly and gave her a long, steady look, which was meant to force her to her knees, but Sayuri was determined not to give in. "You're right. I don't want you to work as a ninja any longer. I don't want to see you anywhere close to a battlefield."

"WHAT?"

He hadn't seriously just said that, had he?

Sayuri couldn't do anything but stare at him, so mad that she didn't even know what to say or how to say anything in general, while Sasuke just sat there on the edge of the mattress, entirely composed. Her reaction probably didn't surprise him; it was easily foreseeable.

"J-just who do you think you are?" The words rushed out of her mouth, her voice trembling with emotion and the effort not to scream, "You're not my mother."

"No, I'm not." Sasuke said. Not once in their conversation had he raised his voice, and yet his tone was becoming increasingly hostile, venomous almost, like that of a snake. He must have spent too much time with Orochimaru. "You don't have a mother and I don't have one either. You and Mikan are all I have and I won't allow you to expose yourself to such dangers."

"A_llow_ me?" That felt like a physical slap. "You are the one who always endangers himself and goes on dangerous missions and I don't want you to do that either, but do you hear me telling you what to do?"

"That is different," he said.

"Why?"

"Because I'm a man and I have to take care of my family. You know exactly that we weren't welcomed back here with open arms, so I have no choice, but to do every mission they give me."

"Oh, please," Sayuri rolled her eyes. "You even want to become a Jounin so you can do more _exciting_ missions. And you know what? I understand you, because I would do the same, so why don't you understand that I feel that way, too?"

Actually she wasn't even sure if that was what she really wanted. She was somehow caught in between her old and her new life. Did she really want to leave home, leave her son to go on missions, maybe even over a longer period of time? She ought to want it. It was in the human nature to strive for freedom and now that Sasuke was pushing her into a corner, her demand for freedom was greater than ever before.

"I know you do…" he said and sized her up thoroughly. "But look at you. You don't take enough care of yourself. How would you do on a mission, when I'm not there to watch over you?"

Okay, if she's had something in her hands it would have surely hit Sasuke's head now. His patronising talk was beginning to make her sick (and maybe also the fact that a little, subdued part in her knew that he was right with this one point). She knew Sasuke was a possessive and dominant person, but this was getting too much. She couldn't believe he was doing this to her, now that she had her exam coming and was a nervous wreck anyhow.

Sayuri only stood there and shook her head with a growing lump in her throat. If that's what Sasuke understood by talking, then she could perfectly well do without it. She was tired of this.

Without a word and without giving Sasuke another look either, Sayuri turned around, meaning to walk to her side of the bed, but then she walked to the night table, taking under Sasuke's watchful and obviously disapproving eyes, one of the pills out of the box. Then she turned her head to face Sasuke after all, before she swallowed the tiny pill with a defiant look on her face.

"Very mature." Sasuke rolled his eyes and lay down, while Sayuri crawled under the blanket on her side of the bed, as far away from him as she could and the bed was really big.

Sasuke switched off the lamp and then they lay there in silence, seemingly asleep. Sleep though, was the very thing that did not visit the room this night. The atmosphere was laden with tension and thoughts ricocheting from wall to wall, screaming for attention. Thus passed the minutes, maybe hours even, without bringing any peace to the at least on the inside churned up people, who looked perfectly calm on the outside.

She couldn't believe they've really had this conversation. Who did Sasuke think he was to demand something like that of her? She was the one who'd get pregnant and not him. She was the one who'd have to give birth and not him. She was the one who'd have to sit at home all the time and not him. Maybe they should switch roles for a week or so and then see if he still wanted another child… How was she supposed to cope first with being pregnant and handling her current baby and then afterwards with handling two babies at the same time?

Most of the time Mikan was too much for her already. If she didn't have Ino or her other friends, who looked after him from time to time, she'd sink into despair. He accused her of not looking after herself properly, but how should she do so, when she had to look after everything else all the time? That didn't mean she had the harder job – she only had more than one. And he was gone so often…. What difference did it make to him, if he was home for an hour or two and found one child there or a dozen? Sometimes she wasn't sure if he really wanted to have children with her because he _really_ wanted it or not rather because once upon a time he had started telling himself that this is what he wanted and now he actually believed it.

"Aren't we enough for you?" Sayuri asked into the silence, her eyes focused on the pitch black ceiling. It was a moonless night and Sasuke by her side didn't even stir. "Ever since we're back in Konoha you seize every chance you can get to stay away from us… would I even get to see you with another baby?"

The faint rustling of the covers made her sure that Sasuke had just turned around to her, but she wouldn't meet his gaze and kept staring at the ceiling, as though searching for the solutions to all their problems in the subtle patterns within the darkness.

"That's not true and you know it." His voice was calmer now, not so harsh as before.

"Do I?"

"You should."

"That's not the same."

It really isn't.

* * *

><p><em>She spent her days ghosting through this place, but couldn't remember ever having done anything. She couldn't remember sleeping, or eating, or talking… breathing… She didn't sleep for the fear of waking up and rather spent her time caught in one endless dream, pretending they weren't gone.<em>

_At times she wondered if it was really her who had survived. For what it's worth, she was lacking the things that constituted a living being._

_She was caught in an intermediary state, somewhere in between, neither dead nor alive, neither awake nor sleeping, neither on this world nor the other. _

_Both worlds seemed too blurry to be real, too blurry to seem reachable. She must have somehow slipped into the chasm between them, hanging in an airless void on a golden thread that could prove strong enough to carry the weight of multiple lives or let them fall on a whim._

_It offered her a choice, she wasn't ready to make yet. Couldn't make yet._

_If all else failed she could still choose to remain in the void._

…

…


	8. Pressure

**8. Pressure**

The clock on the wall was ticking incessantly, complementing the symphony of silence with its own singular tune.

_Tick-tock._

Slower yet louder, announcing the passage of time, ticking away the precious seconds. An unchanging and all too repetitive symphony.

_Tick-tock._

It echoed through the large classroom, empty but for the simple furniture and the two people inside.

It was the day Sayuri had prepared for the whole last month. Day in, day out; night in, night out – for hours and hours, past exhaustion, past hunger and thirst, past frustration, past discouragement. It was her ambition that had brought her here; her stubborn ambition, which had pushed her past her limits, made her internalise the contents of dozens of books in record time.

Every night when she closed her eyes, scraps of texts ghosted through her head in the exact wording – she was as prepared as she could possibly be, so it wasn't in the least surprising that she didn't feel a twinge of nervousness as she sat in the second last row, in one of the classrooms of the new academy of Konoha Gakure. The room was huge and it seemed almost ridiculous to be sitting so far back, when no one was there and she couldn't possibly copy from someone or use a crib sheet, since she didn't have one to begin with. And with Iruka sitting at the desk up front, she couldn't have cheated anyway.

Iruka, her old academy teacher, had nothing to do with medicine, though, but then he wasn't here to help her, but to supervise her. After coming to Konoha, all these years ago, he had given her private lessons, aside from the regular ones, so she could rush through academy and become a Genin quickly and join Team 7 – the people because of whom she was sitting here for more than one reason…

It was in a room that greatly resembled this one where she had taken her first step to becoming a ninja, first step to becoming who she was, becoming more than just a girl without a past and an obscure future. Everything about this room was familiar and that although she never yet set foot in it – it was the very first time that she was in the new academy. But there was something nostalgic about the situation and the atmosphere; the way she sat here on the simple wooden bench, inhaling paper dust and the slight smell of something rotten; maybe an apple long forgotten under one of the many desks. The seats to her sides were empty as they have always been. No one ever wanted to sit next to the mummy-girl. She hated the academy…

_Tick-tock_.

How much time had passed… But if she hadn't done it, she wouldn't be where she was now. Who she was now. She would have never joined Team 7, would have never become friends with Sasuke and Naruto and even Sakura, would have never helped all the people she had, would have never fallen in love with Sasuke and maybe Sasuke would have never returned to the Leaf Village… It might sound selfish, but she'd like to believe he had only come back because of her… So many things happened, only because she became a ninja and Sasuke expected her to give all of this up?

_That_ is selfish.

Why did she even bother to take this exam, when he wanted her to sit at home and conceive child after child? You didn't need to know how to mix or cure the most complex poisons, when all you had to do was heal scratched knees. Why the hell had she tortured herself with all these books, when she couldn't make use of it? When she'd end up running around like an elephant for the rest of her life – taking one endless maternity leave. And just how hypocritical he was! He said he wanted another baby, but in the end it was her who had to take care of it. Even now he barely did anything with his son; it was all left to her. He probably didn't even know just how exhausting that was. She perfectly understood the need for her to stay at home as long as Mikan was still young and dependent on her, but what would be so bad about leaving him in the care of a babysitter from time to time? Why should his life carry on as normal, while she had to make all the sacrifices? And why didn't she ever know what to say to him and how to make him understand her? She knew what she wanted, but she just wasn't able to make that clear to him. He was so stubborn. Most of the time it felt like she was talking to a wall – it was just awfully frustrating!

All the more reason for her to pass this exam. The demand for first class medic-nin was enormous. Sakura was gone all the time, although that isn't exactly what she wanted either. But if Tsunade came to her from time to time and told her she was needed, then there wasn't anything Sasuke could say against it– same as she couldn't say anything against his being away all the time. Maybe they wouldn't argue so much then.

She hated arguing. She hated confrontations. She hated the way you felt afterwards. She hated it that they hadn't exchanged a single word since waking up – or rather getting up, since she hadn't been able to sleep in the first place. She hated that she didn't even know what to say to him now. He hadn't even wished her good luck! But then she had only seen him as she had been on her way to the door already… Did she just make an excuse for him?

That's the thing about being in love she hated the most. It was just incomprehensible to her, how the same person that could make you feel loved and wanted and special could also make you feel needy and pathetic …

Did she say she hated it?

Maybe she did, but then feeling special and cared for was such an overwhelming sensation – you could also feel pretty pathetic and all the rest when you're not in love…

"Sayuri-san?"

She didn't lift her gaze from the sheet of paper, her hands were still resting on, but she easily sensed that Iruka now stood at the end of her row of tables. She hadn't even noticed that he left his place.

"Yes," she said in a clear voice, but her eyes kept staring at her hands.

"Is something the matter? Anything unclear?"

"…No…"

"Well, half the time is up."

_Tick-tock._

"Don't you want to start writing?"

* * *

><p>This morning hasn't been so great so far.<p>

It was not even twelve o'clock, but the day already seemed to have lasted for ages. With Sayuri out of the house, it was Sasuke's duty to look after their son and take care of the house. She had made a really long list for him, but he had no idea how much of it he was supposed to do or if she expected him to take care of every single point. He couldn't tell, since they hadn't exchanged a single word today. Admittedly, they had only seen each other for a couple of seconds, which hadn't left much time for lengthy conversations, but then wasn't that a result of them avoiding each other?

Maybe he hadn't exactly chosen the perfect moment to confront her with the big news, but what else could he have done? The only, or well, the most important reason why he had come back to Konoha was because he knew his family would be safe here; safer than anywhere else and that was about as much as he could ask for. And now Sayuri wanted to step out of the safety of their home and jump right into the face of danger? When he was gone away now, he could collectively worry about them, but when she decided to go on missions again, he'd have to worry about the two of them separately. She could be sent who knows where, for who knows how long and with who knows what people and not necessarily him, so how could he know she'd be safe?

She wasn't helpless. Actually she was a good shinobi, he had personally made sure of that, but not that good. She wouldn't stand the ghost of a chance if she were to face any of Madara's subordinates – if there were any of them left that is… And then she was totally out of training and she had this thing that was rather common among Konoha-nin: self-sacrifice for the benefit of the team. They'd give _everything_ for their comrades or clients, as was demanded of a true shinobi. Some might call that dutiful or even courageous, but to him it was plain stupid. There was a difference between putting your life on the line for the people that are important to you or for random strangers.

She always thought she had to prove herself and that often enough got her into trouble, but it's not like she was the only one. If it hadn't been for the people around him, who usually managed to restrain him, Naruto would have probably died a long, long time ago. Sasuke might have died from the urge to display his superiority himself, if it hadn't been for Orochimaru who had taught him that there was nothing more foolish than caring about what others think about you – or caring about what happens to anyone beside your own person. He had learned so much about life during his time away from Konoha; it was hard to regret his decision to leave… And well, he was back now and what if it hadn't been for all the things he had done and the things that had been done to him? Would he even be the person he was now? He wouldn't be as strong as he was now, he would have probably never opened up to Sayuri and then Mikan would have never been born. He wouldn't have a family now and maybe he would have never managed to open his eyes to the light again.

But would he have closed them in the first place?

"There."

Sasuke lifted a spoon to his son's mouth, but Mikan kept his jaw tightly clenched, while his hands were flailing around, trying their best to eliminate the – to him – disgusting food. Anything that wasn't white and liquid didn't really appeal to him and he had definitely inherited his parents' stubbornness, so of course he put up a fight to the very last moment. Sayuri had warned him of that, but what she had forgotten to mention was what he was supposed to do about it… It's not like this was the first time he fed his son; only the first time since he had decided he no longer liked solid food.

It couldn't be that hard, could it? There had to be some sort of trick and Sayuri had to know it, because Mikan didn't look starved, so she somehow had to manage feeding him in spite of his resistance.

And she seriously wanted to leave home and let someone else care for him… Quite frankly he couldn't even imagine it. She's so attached to him; ever since Mikan was born they haven't spent a day apart and now she wanted to start working again? It was just empty talk; she was deceiving herself for whatever reason and he didn't really take her serious. And maybe he was a bit old-fashioned, but Sasuke was of the opinion that the man is supposed to earn money, while the woman stays at home and cares for the family. His mother used to be a ninja, too, a Jounin even, and yet she stayed at home, once her children were born, so why was it that Sayuri didn't want that?

"Eat now," he said, a little impatient by now; after all Uchiha Sasuke wasn't exactly used to being opposed. Although it happened more and more often lately. He lifted the spoon again, but Mikan was quick to turn his head away, not having lost the fun in this game yet.

"We're not getting anywhere," he sighed and gave his son a hard, yet amused look, while Mikan merely laughed, but kept both his hands in front of his mouth, so his father couldn't use that chance to shove the food into it. Actually he could think of many ways to make him eat, but none of those seemed appropriate when it came to dealing with a baby, so what could he do?

"There, eat yourself."

Sasuke placed the small bowl on the tray of the highchair and closed Mikan's hand around the spoon, hoping he wouldn't end up throwing the food through the kitchen.

Before he could find out whether his strategy turned out to be a success or a disaster, there was a ring at the door. Both Mikan and Sasuke almost simultaneously turned their heads towards the door, regardless of the fact that there were still multiple walls in the way and neither of them was blessed with x-ray eyes.

A slight frown appeared on Sasuke's face as he rose to his feet, but then glanced at his son again, wondering if it would be very foolish to leave him alone here, with a bowl full of food that wouldn't go so well with the colour of the walls. Mikan, however, made clear that he didn't want to be left behind. He had already dropped his green plastic spoon to the floor and rocked his body to and fro with his arms wide open, waiting to be picked up and so Sasuke did then.

"Lucky you," Sasuke smirked as Mikan locked his arms around his neck and laughed right into his ear. "But don't think you'll get off that easy."

With his son in his arms, Sasuke crossed the living room and headed towards the front door, which he opened without any hesitation. As so often, he wished he hadn't.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun. Nice day, isn't it?"

"What do you want here, Sai?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed and there was no more trace of warmth in his voice or expression.

"Oh, just trying to socialise. We are a team right? And isn't that what team-mates do?" Sai asked with a smile on his face, not really a convincing one – nothing about this guy was convincing…

"Do you really think I don't know what you're up to?" Sasuke's voice lowered to just above a whisper and the air around him seemed to become icier by the second.

"I don't know what you mean," the ANBU smiled, his eyes lightly closed.

Sasuke took a brief moment to ponder his next move, but then this was the first time he has ever been alone with his new team-mate, so he might as well make use of it.

"You're a member of Root. You work for Danzô." He tried to keep his voice level, but couldn't repress a trace of disdain at the mentioning of that name.

"I really don't know what gave you that impression."

"Why else would you be here? We are a three-man squad and yet we're stuck with you and you are not a part of the regular ANBU but of Root."

And he knew from Madara that Root was under Danzô's direct control. Or had that been a lie too? He didn't know and quite frankly he didn't care. Just the chance that this guy might be in any kind related to Shimura Danzô sufficed to make him trust him even less than he did anyhow.

"Well, the more the merrier. Isn't that what people say?" Sai asked, deliberately omitting to comment on the part referring to his affiliation.

"I told you before that you're not welcome here," Sasuke hissed, his voice dripping with venom and it seemed to affect Mikan, too. He was beginning to get uneasy and hid his face in Sasuke's shoulder. Did babies feel something like intimidation? He didn't know and he didn't really want to test it. He didn't want his own son to be afraid of him, so he'd end this right now. "Back off or you'll be sorry."

And with that he closed the door in Sai's face.

As it was, he had nothing to hide, but that didn't mean he'd just let a spy walk in and out of his house.

* * *

><p>Everything appeared empty as it rarely had.<p>

Ino was standing behind the counter in the flower shop that belonged to her family; her elbows propped on the wooden table top and her chin resting in her palms; the only thing that kept her head upright, but they couldn't keep her eyes from falling shut over and over again. Not that it mattered. It has seldom been as empty here as it was now; there were neither flowers nor customers. The drought was definitely proving detrimental for the business.

Maybe she should close early. She doubted that there'd be anyone coming anyway and she still had an _appointment_ – that thought alone almost made her sick, but she left it at slumping her shoulders against what the rules of a healthy and most of all elegant posture declared.

"Not like anyone is there to see it," the blonde woman sighed and dropped her head on the hard wood, while stretching her arms to the front, but then she banged her flat hand on the table and stood up straight again.

"That's not what this is about. Bad habits develop too quickly, so cut it out!" she chided herself, but then reconsidered again, "but it's not like one bad habit more or less would make a difference… although- enough now!" Her hand hit the table top again. "Don't you know that only crazy people talk to themselves?"

Was it possible to surprise yourself? Because that last statement sure enough had caught Ino off guard and again she slumped back down on the counter as though her bones had suddenly melted.

_Crazy, huh?_

Maybe there really was a valid reason why she had to go to a psychiatrist… Gosh, she'd probably die of shame if anyone knew. She really didn't feel so well at the moment and most of all she was hungry. Starving practically, but there were just three more days to the festival, so this wasn't the time for her to give up her diet. After all she had a dress she wanted to fit into. Maybe if she had bought the right size from the start, she could have spared herself a lot of trouble, but where was the fun in that? Anyhow, feeling queasy and hungry was a physical thing – it had nothing to do with her mental condition. Or was her head maybe so messed up that it already affected her body? Or was it something about the embarrassment – the humiliation – of having to go there? Each and every time she set out for one of her therapy sessions, it felt as though there was a neon sign above her head with the word 'lunatic' written on it. Whenever she looked into someone's eyes, she found cognisance there, as if they all knew. Everyone knew. That is why she usually walked with her head down and her shoulders drawn when she went there. So much to posture, huh?

But she really didn't feel so well right now…

A chime signalled the entrance of a customer and in a matter of seconds Ino's head shot up, a bright, welcoming smile flashing across her face, so bright in fact that it almost entirely dispersed the shadows that had been lurking there mere seconds ago.

"Good afternoon, how can I help you?"

* * *

><p>If there was ever anyone deserving of a swift kick in the rear then it was her.<p>

What did just happen?

As Sayuri got up this morning, she had been sick with nervousness, so much that she had neither been able to eat or drink anything, because she hadn't thought herself capable of keeping anything in, but the moment she had left the house and dived into the still fresh and most of all clean air of an early morning, she had been enveloped by a sense of calm and serenity. In this condition, she had floated to the academy, had delved into memories of a different but similar place in a different but similar situation and in that manner she had taken her exam. Only that she hadn't.

What if Iruka hadn't bothered to startle her out of her reverie? Would she have written a single word then? She had been afraid of suffering from a blackout while writing, but never had she imagined that she would simply forget to get started. It didn't seem like it was her fault. After all she hadn't done so by choice. She hadn't even been aware of anything going on around her. But whose fault was it then? Sasuke's? Because yesterday he had unsettled her so much that the shock had reverberated right into the here and now, still leaving her shaken at the remembrance of his demand… Or was it Iruka's fault, because he hadn't acted earlier? He had to have seen that she was lost in thoughts and still he had waited so long to address her. But then it wasn't his duty to do so; it wasn't his task to make sure she passed this exam, it was her own. That is why she had spent the whole last month caught in endless revision; the reason why she had neglected everything else, because she knew it was up to her and her alone to pass the exam.

Oh, and how important it has been to her. Not necessarily because of the doors it opened for her and the immediate effect it had on her future, but rather because of what it represented. It was something she had wanted to do, back then as she had still been a ninja, before becoming this stranger and she desperately searched for a way to get back to being who she was, although she knew that was impossible. Life is all about changes – too bad only that she was a creature of habit.

It was her fault after all…

As she was on her way home now, Sayuri was again impossibly calm, only in a negative way, if that made any sense. She walked with her shoulders stooped under the weight of her own failure, although she hasn't yet gotten to the point where she really understood what had just happened and when she did, the realisation was sure to sweep over her like a tidal wave; merciless and unrelenting, but most of all irreversible. Usually she enjoyed coming home; not only because she really liked the house, but most of all because of the people waiting there for her; the people she already missed the second she only took one step out of the door. Now however, she didn't feel like seeing them, interacting with them; she just wasn't in the condition for any more arguments and she had no idea if Sasuke was through with it or not.

Just now, as she stood in front of the door, and maybe for the first time, she wished he wasn't home. None of them.

Maybe she should just turn around and go away. Go somewhere remote where she could be alone with her thoughts and resign herself to the previous events and not come back before she was all bright and cheery again and strong enough to put up a fight in case Sasuke should decide to carry on pursuing his strategy of turning her into a full-fledged housewife.

With a sigh, Sayuri stepped into the corridor, careful to make only a minimum of noise and there she stood now, listening into the silence. The house really did seem empty. Sasuke might be taking a walk with Mikan, nice as it was outside. She slipped off her shoes and glided down the hall, straight towards the bathroom. Her footsteps fell subtly, almost soundlessly on the neatly polished parquet, then entirely soundless on the dark grey bathroom tiles. Soundless like a shadow, and it was merely a shadow of herself she found staring back at her from the mirrored bathroom cabinet. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, when actually she didn't feel like crying at all and didn't want to do so either. She hadn't cried in almost a year and she wanted it to stay that way. She has always been such a cry baby, but she was a grown-up now and had a real cry-baby to look after, so she couldn't allow herself to give in to tears, give in to weakness.

Positive thinking.

She closed her eyes and took a deep, purging breath, holding it while she willed positive thoughts into her head.

It wasn't yet certain that she had failed. She had more or less rushed through all the questions and only answered them briefly and still she hadn't gotten to the last page, but maybe the answers she had managed to write down were so brilliant and world-shaking that she'd still pass the exam with flying colours…

Self-deception, thy name is-

-okay, enough now. She had meant to think positive, hadn't she? So she exhaled the kept breath, straightened her shoulders and opened her eyes, pushing a strand of stray hair out of her face, while she gave her mirror-self a bright smile. Did she always look so creepy when she smiled? Even if she were downright crying, she doubted she'd look as miserable as she did now. Aren't the corners of your lips supposed to be up when you smile? Maybe there were some cracks in the mirror…

The supposedly cleansing breath, laced with all these optimistic thoughts, seemed to expand in her lungs, impairing their so essential movement. They seemed to expand and expand without any regard for the limited space within her chest cavity. At length her rather pathetic version of a smile collapsed and so did her posture, as she finally managed to exhale again. Against expectation it wasn't much of a relief. Her head hung low and her dark hair had again gathered in front of her face, hiding her features or maybe it was hiding her eyes from seeing what was going on in the world beyond her.

It wasn't a lost cause yet. She really had no reason to be unhappy. Maybe she hadn't passed with a top grade, but it wasn't even so very improbable that she had passed after all and even if not, what did it matter? It was a pity about all the lost (wasted) time and all the hope she had harboured, but that was really everything. Even if she failed, she could still work in the hospital and she could also work as a ninja again. Regardless of what Sasuke wanted. Although… just maybe-

-_maybe_ he was right. She wasn't the best fighter and she was only a little above average when it came to her medical skills and her old team seemed to do perfectly alright without her there. Why would they need a second medic-nin, when they had Sakura?

They clearly didn't need her, but Mikan did. To him it did matter if she was there or not, or did it? Would he notice if they put him in another family, as long as they were treating him well? Would he miss his mother?

Probably not. Not yet anyway, but when he was older he would. But what if something happened to her during a mission and she wouldn't live long enough to see it? What if something happened to Sasuke? There was no point assuming the worst; Sasuke could look after himself, whereas, in his opinion, she couldn't. But could he also look after himself when the last ghost of his past decided to rise from his grave to exact vengeance on him? Could she?

In one point Sasuke had been right: for a ninja the future isn't something you can take for granted. But did that really justify Sasuke's impetuous desire to have another child with her, although their first and also too early child was still a needy baby? And did he really only want that to tie her to the house or did he want a baby with her because he loved her and enjoyed being a father, although he wasn't good at showing it? Maybe she had done him wrong from the start… Should she maybe give in to him after all? Even if that meant giving her self away?

She raised her head again and looked through the curtain of her hair into the mirror, but the moment her grey-blue and oh-so-tired eyes met their reflection, the subliminal pain in her head increased tenfold and shot through her skull like a jolt of electricity. Her slender fingers tightened around the cold rim of the sink, pressing so hard as though she was desperate to dig her nails through the smooth porcelain. The only thing about her posture that didn't look tense was her head which now fell to her chest, too heavy for her to keep up.

Inhale…

…exhale…

Sayuri didn't dare look up again, but pried one of her hands loose from its frantic grip on the sink and it almost automatically found its way to the right side of the cabinet. She opened the door, fumbled past bottles of face lotion, boxes of tampons and cotton swabs, as she searched for her painkillers, always so well hidden like they were a dark secret. And that although she knew so very many people who relied on painkillers on a nearly daily basis – even within her generation, like Rock Lee for example or there were those who were drinking regularly and now what was alcohol other than a means to kill pain? Was that why Sasuke had started drinking? Or Shikamaru?

Pain lay in wait just about everywhere, there was no escaping it and that was plain unfair, so was it really so bad to cheat your way into feeling good?

Finally her fingers came across the round plastic boxes and pulled out all three of them, which didn't mean she'd take them all. She was still far from taking one or more pills regularly, or even every day and she did not plan to change that. But which one should she take now? They worked in different ways and that somewhat gave her control. They enabled her to decide for herself how she wanted to feel, which mood she wanted to be in. The choice was hers and that certainty almost caused a part of the pain to vanish already, or well, it became a little smoother around the edges.

Her eyes wandered across the etiquettes on the three identical orange bottles, but she was so tired that she had slight problems with reading them, which made the choice easy. She hadn't slept the whole night and after what happened she was too upset to fall asleep by herself, so she decided for those she usually used in substitute for sleeping pills.

After all she had meant to sleep for a whole week, hadn't she? And Sasuke was there, so he could get his share of the joys of parenthood as well. Maybe that would make him change his mind. Although she doubted so. It wasn't in his character to change much at all.

She downed the small capsule and made her way to the bedroom. It felt as though liquid lead was running through her veins and her legs became heavier and heavier, so this time her steps were nowhere near noiseless as she entered the living room, only to find that the house wasn't empty after all.

Sasuke stood in the doorframe of the bedroom, right in her way of course. She didn't know what to say to him. They hadn't talked all day and quite frankly she didn't feel like it anyhow. All she wanted was to let the lead spread and weigh her down into the yet black abyss of unconsciousness.

She just wanted to sleep.

Her head was slightly lowered, since she hasn't been able to raise it up to begin with, but even so Sayuri could feel Sasuke's gaze on her and still she kept on walking as though he was a mere apparition and she could just pass through him.

"How was it?" he asked, but she couldn't really detect any interest in his voice. Maybe that had something to do with the droning in her ears.

"Don't ask," she grumbled and just carried on walking until she could no longer do so, since Sasuke didn't budge and kept standing in her way with his arms crossed in front of his chest, still watching her closely, which she now saw as she met his eyes.

"Hard?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded and leaned herself against the wall. She hoped this wouldn't take much longer.

"You don't look well," he said, taking a step closer to her.

"Thanks… again."

"You know how I mean that," Sasuke sighed and instead of snapping at him, which she really felt like doing, Sayuri merely shrugged.

"I just want to sleep."

She hoped he had gotten the hint and would clear the way now. The lead was almost immobilising her and what little strength she still had left barely sufficed to push against the weight of her own limbs. How should she ever make it to her bed?

She pushed herself off the wall, hoping she could use the momentum, since she was sure that once she was moving it wouldn't be so hard to carry on – getting started was the tricky part. However, instead of being helpful, the momentum made her sway and almost stagger across her own feet, but Sasuke was there to steady her.

"I'm okay. Really," Sayuri assured, before Sasuke had a chance to open his mouth, but he still looked sceptical, so she explained, "Headrush."

"…" Sasuke narrowed his eyes and watched her closely, before he moved his hand to the small of her back and pulled her against his chest. "Go to bed," he said and ran his hand over her back.

"Uh-huh," she nodded against his chest, but just now it felt so warm and comfortable here that she didn't really feel like going away from him, but of course she did. He appeared worried already (and not angry as she would have expected), so it wouldn't be good if she fell asleep against him.

Maybe this was really all it was. He just cared. And he was worried. This had nothing to do with any power games or gender roles. He was just worried because he had so many reasons to – same as she did, too. It wasn't so apparent at the moment, but they were living in hard times and some secret parts, rooted deep inside of them, had to know it.

And they didn't want to be ignored.

* * *

><p>It was evening, maybe night even, but summer always made that hard to tell. The advent of night was pushed so far back that the days seemed to exceed the mere twelve hours they were supposed to have. There were many people who were in favour of the extended sun hours, even the dry heat maybe, but Neji wasn't one of them. With the days being longer, he felt like he had to do more in order to fill them and not waste a single second. Despite that, as he was on his way home now after a long, long day, the sun was still shining, low and bright, and only its position within the cloudless sky enabled you to tell that the day was about to end and that soon.<p>

Only this afternoon he had completed a mission; a simple but nonetheless exhausting one. He had been assigned to supervise a fresh Genin team in substitute for their sensei. All they had to do was clean the streets before the festival; a pretty easy and clear instruction you should think, but these children had found rather many unclear points about it, when there sure enough weren't any.

He just hoped he'd never be expected to lead a Genin team of his own. He didn't have the patience to deal with a group of fresh rookies, although he was actually a very patient person, but you had to draw the line somewhere…

That would definitely be a reason to join the ANBU. Quite frankly, he didn't have the highest opinion of these high-ranked shinobi. Usual ninja were already impaired in their freedom of opinion, but ANBU were mere puppets. It wasn't up to them to decide if what they did was right or wrong; all they had to do was turn off their moral and function, stick strictly to their orders. Actually, that didn't sound so bad… In a way that is what he did anyhow. He was always the one who had to remind his team of what they were supposed to do and in the ANBU you didn't even have special teams…

_No more Gai and Lee dynamic._

"Hey, Neji!"

_But no more mutual eye-rolling with Tenten either._

The young Hyûga turned his head to the right, to where the voice of his only female team-mate had come from and there he saw her, walking through the narrow alleyway with a smile on her face.

"Tenten." He nodded at her, a little surprised to see her here, so far away from where she lived.

"You missed training today," Tenten sighed, thinking back of how Lee had tried to do his first steps without crutches, while Gai had cheered as though it were the first steps any human being had ever done in general. Those two were definitely too much to bear – especially alone.

"I've been assigned to do a mission."

"Yeah, I know. Gai-sensei told us."

A cheeky grin appeared on her face, which made Neji sure that their sensei had also told them what his mission has been about.

"Will you be there tomorrow?"

"No. Our mission ends at the day of the festival."

"Oh, the festival!" Tenten's head shot up with sudden remembrance mingled with excitement. "You plan to go there?"

"Hmm…" He shrugged; he hadn't really thought about that yet – it's not like he didn't have better things to do… "Will you?"

"Me?" Tenten's brown eyes widened slightly. "Err… I don't know yet…"

"Tenten? Are you blushing?"

"N-no!" She cupped her face in her hands quickly, while she shook her head to undermine her statement. She and blushing? Tze… She wasn't _that_ kind of girl. What reason would she have anyway? "Your eyes must have played tricks on you."

Is what she said to someone in possession of the Byakugan; a dôjutsu that gives its user a 359° field of vision and the ability to see through solid things. Yeah… his eyes _must_ have failed him…

"Hmpf," Neji gave a sarcastic snort, fully aware of the flaw in Tenten's reasoning as well, but he saw no use in pointing that out.

"Anyway, make sure to clean the village quickly. Training's misery without you."

"Hn," he smirked with his eyes closed. "Supervising a group of rookies isn't particularly rewarding either…"

"My heartfelt sympathies," she grinned. "So what is-"

"-Neji-san?"

They both turned around as a man, unmistakeably a member of the Hyûga clan, landed on the ground merely a metre away from the two team-mates.

"Shitei-san," Neji greeted his kinsman briefly. Like him, Shitei was a member of the Hyûga branch house and as he was only a very distant relative, with only his great-grandfather having been a _true_ Hyûga, his blood was considered not as pure as that of other Hyûga. You could already tell from his appearance; in contrast to the majority of his relatives, Shitei's hair was a light copper colour and his nose had a well-pronounced arch. It if weren't for his eyes, he wouldn't display any form of resemblance to his family. On top of that, his Byakugan was one of the weakest in the whole clan, which is why he was mostly expected to act as a messenger or tutor.

"You are to come with me immediately," Shitei declared in a matter-of-fact tone, before his pale eyes glanced to Tenten and then back to Neji again, making clear that he didn't want to name the reason in front of an outsider.

The Hyûga were always mindful to keep their troubles to themselves – they were one secretive clan. Most of all they were isolated within the village though, but then that was exactly what they wanted. It had started a long time ago, during the reign of Nidaime Hokage, Senju Tobirama, when the Uchiha had been given their own district within the village, leaving the Hyûga rather piqued. That is when they started to seclude themselves from the rest of Konoha. They built up great houses and surrounded them with high walls, creating their own, though unofficial, district this way. Even now, after Konoha's destruction, which they could have used as a new start, they had done the same thing all over again. They were proud of being the strongest clan within the village and yet they acted like they wanted to be no part of it. Pride and hurt feelings.

That is one of the numerous reasons for the hostilities between the Hyûga and the Uchiha clan; injustice, jealousy, rivalry and the strong desire to prove oneself superior. Neji had grown up this way, too, although lately it has become hard for him to harbour inimical feelings towards a mere name, now that one of his best friends was in the process of being integrated into the clan he was supposed to scorn. That didn't really change his opinion about Sasuke as a person though.

"I have to go." Neji turned towards Tenten again, once he returned from his trip into his own head.

"I know," she sighed and gave him a weak smile. "See you around."

"Hm." Neji nodded and watched how his team-mate waved at him, before she turned around to leave.

Sometimes he wished he could do so as well.

Instead of leaving he returned though. Returned to a home that rarely felt like such; not since his father's death anyway. It was a place where he lived and trained and spent as little time as possible. Not because he disliked the people, but… but because he couldn't help it.

They didn't have a long way ahead of them, but even so Shitei bid him to make haste, but Neji couldn't get any details out of him, other than that a spontaneous clan-meeting has been initiated by Hiashi and was to take place immediately.

As they reached the Hyûga compound, Neji found it odd to see some of the minors, no older than twelve, guard the entrance. It sure wasn't the norm for the doors to be guarded in the first place – it only happened when the situation demanded it and apparently it did now. They obviously didn't want any sudden visitors, but didn't want to have one of the regular posts miss the meeting and now it was up to these kids to keep outsiders out where they belong.

With hasty steps, they walked across the spacious inner yard, now doused in shadows that had hands reaching up to the walls. They made strange figures dance across the paper screens, as the branches of the huge oak tree stirred in the wind. The leaves were coming down early this year.

They entered the main house and walked through long corridors, until they reached the largest, but also remotest room of the building, reserved for clan-meetings only. Never yet had a non-Hyûga set foot in this hall – neither in the old, nor the new house. The door was closed and the shady corridor was submerged in eerie silence, but when Shitei slid it open, they found the assembly hall full of people, looking too tense to even whisper. The tension was palpable like a corporal force that tried to escape the room the moment there was an opening and so the two couldn't help but hesitate, until the sudden sensation ceased and they felt physically capable of stepping into the room.

The air smelled the way old books do, after not having been opened for at least a decade, somewhat dusty and ancient. The door closed again and Neji took a second to let his eyes roam around and orient himself. Many cushions have been placed along the wall to his right and his left. Most of them were occupied already, so they had to be almost complete. Hiashi was sitting at the end of the room, right in the centre, and before him, with her back turned to him, was Hinata, her shoulders drawn as though she was close to collapse in on herself. Everyone looked grave, but Hinata looked lost. These past days haven't been kind to her and just who knew what this was about now? It had to have something to do with his cousin. Why else should she be sitting there?

Neji took a slow step forward, in search for a place to sit that would correspond to his rank, when a movement at the end of the room caught his attention and he was now looking at Hiashi, who was also looking at him and furthermore he was pointing at one of the cushions next to Hinata. There was no doubt he meant him, so what could Neji do, other than obey and join his cousin there in the centre of the room, where everyone could see them perfectly well.

He had a bad feeling about this…

There was another cushion, next to the one he was sitting on, but up to now it was still empty and he wondered who else they were waiting for. He didn't dare look at Hinata and maybe ask her what this was all about. Her mere posture told him more than any words ever could and so he just sat there, trying to blind out his surroundings, while he tried to unravel the mystery.

In the back of his mind he was aware of how the door opened and closed over and over again. None of the people entering, managed not to hesitate.

As it seemed the secrecy of the Hyûga didn't even stop in front of its own members and in the course of this assembly, Neji was again reminded that his fate wasn't something he had in his own hands, as the Hyûga again did what they did best:

Again a branch family member was sacrificed for the well-being of the main house.

What if he'd just break out of this cage?

* * *

><p><em>The days became weeks, the weeks months and they all seemed to resemble one another in that they all passed in the same fashion and were filled with nothing that seemed worth remembering at the end of the day. <em>

_There were no useful deeds, no nice words, no smiles or laughs, nothing that made up a good life. This was the only way to live though. With all the people that died, how could they ever become happy again without feeling like spitting on their graves – the ones they hadn't even dug, because it would have been too arduous? How could they even think of cleaning the rooms, repairing the damage and letting sunshine into the houses, without feeling like they were kicking their sacrifice with their feet?_

_How could they ever move on without insulting the dead?_

"_Look at yourself…" His voice was contemptuous, just like she remembered it and yet she couldn't recall ever having heard it. They had not spoken since it happened, or had they? Maybe she would forget again by the time the sun would swap places with the moon, bringing about yet another sleepless night. _

"_You look dirty. Like a sick little dog…Your hair is even starting to fall out," he sneered and tugged at a strand of her tangled hair, ending up with a fistful of it. "You disgust me."_

"_The body is a false name, drowning in the great ocean of birth, sickness, old age and death. How can one who is wise not be happy when he gets rid of it?"_

"_They should have taught you dignity instead of this nonsense." _

_He rose to his feet, letting her hair drop to the ground before wiping his hand on his clothes. _

"_That __will__ change.__ We __will __be __leaving __this __place __to __restore __our __clan. __You __are __a __born __Kyuumu.__ We __carry__ our __name __with __pride,__ remember __that_."

…

…


	9. Girl's stuff

**9. Girl's stuff**

It was the morning of the festival on the day of the festival – Ino had repeatedly pointed out the difference to those who thought these two terms amounted to the same thing, which they did _not_. The morning of the festival was the time to be used in order to get ready for the festival and the festival was the festival; the time when you could present the result of what you have done all day and find out if it was worthwhile by counting all the compliments you receive or the heads you turn. Not exactly convincing arguments, but the determinedness with which she brought them forth kept everyone from disagreeing.

Actually it was far too early to meet in order to get ready, seeing as the interesting part of the festival would only start in six hours, but Ino had insisted on them coming already and here they were now, all cramped into Ino's small living room.

At twelve o'clock precisely, Hinata, Sayuri and Sakura had stood in front of Ino's door and now they sat here, wondering what Ino had in mind that would take such a long time.

"I hope you haven't had breakfast yet." Ino cast a stern look through the room, while her visitors were slightly taken aback by her words.

"Oh Ino, there was no need for you to make breakfast for us," Sakura said and was at once supported by Sayuri.

"Really, if you had said something, we could have brought something along."

"Nevermind." Ino gave a dismissive wave of her hand. "I didn't make anything. A full stomach just won't go well with a dress."

"…"

That rendered everyone speechless for a moment and no one knew quite where to focus their attention or at whom to direct the artificial smiles on their faces. The silence was awkward.

"Ah, c'mon," Ino rolled her eyes, while a wide grin appeared on her lips. "I was just kidding. Of course I made breakfast, hold on a second."

She walked around the armchair and into the half-open kitchen, which also served as a dining room, only to come back, maybe a minute later with a tray full of food and a single rose in her hands.

"That looks delicious," Sakura said, as Ino placed the tray in the middle of the low coffee table, while Sayuri and Hinata merely nodded eagerly, as they beheld the colourful nibbles of food Ino had prepared and neatly arranged on an oval plate. It were mainly different sorts of fruits and vegetables, cut into pretty shapes like flowers or stars – it was rather food for the eye than for the stomach.

"But the thing about the dress was true, so don't overdo it." She winked at her visitors before she vanished in the kitchen again and when she returned, there was a big, green bottle under her arm and she held four tulip shaped glasses between her fingers.

"You're not serious, are you?" Sayuri gave the blonde woman an incredulous look, as did everyone else, but Ino seemed to enjoy their reaction.

"Of course I am. This is a girl's thing, right? And sparkling wine is a part of that."

"But it's like… only just twelve; we can't start drinking already…" Sakura shook her head.

"Ah, don't make such a fuss." Ino rolled her eyes. "Never heard of champagne breakfast? Besides it's better to start early, right? Get used to it already…"

And with that the Yamanaka already started filling the glasses with the bubbly beverage, before she passed them to her not exactly enthusiastic visitors.

"And besides, we have quite a few things to celebrate," Ino said with a wide grin on her face, as she passed Sayuri her glass. "Don't…we…?" Her voice became slower as she said that and she did not let go of the glass, but stared hard at it and the grin from before was now replaced by a confused frown.

"Ino…?" Sayuri asked, frowning herself now. "What is it?"

"O-oh… nothing…" Ino gave a factitious laugh and finally let go of the glass. "It's just… we really need to do your nails. What did you do – chew them off?"

"Wha-? No!" Sayuri barked and considered her nails from all sides. "I don't know what you want. They look fine," she pouted.

"Tze… by your standards maybe…" Ino gave a dismissive wave of the hand and started laughing. "Anyway, here's to a great night," she said and then they all clinked glasses, before taking rather restrained sips and placing the still almost full glasses on the table again. "I heard people from all over the Land of Fire are coming."

"Temari and her brothers are coming, too," Sayuri added.

"There'll probably be loads and loads of men…"

"What is it to you?" Sakura furrowed her brows as she observed the blonde woman. "You have Kiba, remember?"

"_I_ do have a boyfriend, but how about you? Not interested?"

"I'm perfectly alright, thank you very much," Sakura snapped. She sure wouldn't allow Ino to meddle with her (currently non-existent) love life. She wasn't that desperate yet.

"Sheesh, touchy aren't we?"

"Tze…"

"Have another drink, forehead girl." Ino smirked, before she focused her attention on the Hyûga, who hadn't said much of anything yet. "How about you Hinata? Any plans for tonight?"

Is that what Ino understood by subtlety? She could have only been more obvious if she had actually mentioned Naruto's name. All eyes were focused on Hinata now, waiting for her answer while trying not to show just how curious they were, but Hinata remained quiet, apparently unaware that she has been spoken to.

"Ehm… Hinata?"

"Huh?" The blue-haired kunoichi twitched as her surroundings forced themselves into her awareness and Hinata couldn't help but blush, as she found herself in the centre of everyone's attention, trying her best to remember what they had asked her.

"Are you going out with Naruto tonight?" Ino threw even the last bit of subtlety over board and apparently caught her off guard.

"N-no." She shook her head, before she cast down her pale eyes. "I don't."

"But why not?" Ino's voice became louder and a little higher in pitch; she seemed so agitated by this simple statement even that she could no longer remain seated on the armrest of the sofa but shot to her feet. "Didn't he ask you?"

A mere shake of the head confirmed her assumption and the look on Hinata's face made no secret of her disappointment; right now she didn't even bother to deny that there was something between her and the Uzumaki, which was a first…

"And did you ask him…?" Sayuri probed and again the Hyûga only shook her head.

"Why not? If you always wait for a guy to make the first step you'll never get anywhere! Just take charge of your own happiness and tell him what you feel!" The living self-help book Ino gifted them with a few quotes of her sheer endless repertoire.

"I don't see what difference that would make," Hinata murmured in for her unusually grim notes, before she pressed her lips into a thin line and clenched her hands into tight balls on her lap.

"Did he do something wrong?" Sayuri asked, wondering if something else had happened aside from the mishaps Naruto already informed her about.

"You shouldn't take him too serious. He's just an idiot sometimes." Ino shrugged, while a deep sigh escaped her throat.

Naruto really was an idiot. There was no point denying that he had changed a lot lately; he had not only become stronger, but also cooler than he used to be, but he has always been so far back that the sudden push forward didn't make too much of a difference. He is and was and probably always will be an idiot, but he had his heart in the right place.

"This has nothing to do with Naruto-kun." Hinata's knuckles turned white as she clenched her fists tighter and her gaze remained glued to the floor, so she didn't see the puzzled looks the other women exchanged. This was the reason why she actually hadn't wanted to come, but she had promised to, back then as everything had still been alright and she had thought this girl's thing might actually help her gain some self-confidence. Now, however, there was no point in all this.

"The bathroom is at the end of the hall, isn't it?"

"Uh… yes. Yes, the last room on the right." Ino shook her head to shake off her confusion about Hinata's question and watched her get up from the armchair and flee their cross-examination.

"What was _that_?" Ino screamed in a whisper and stared at the other two with wide eyes, but they didn't have an answer either.

"It doesn't seem like she wants to talk about it. Let's just drop it," Sayuri murmured while she kept casting stealthy glances at the bathroom door, to make sure Hinata hadn't appeared yet.

"But I want to know what this is about!" There was an almost pained quality in Ino's voice; if there was one person who was pathologically curious, then it was her.

"Ino! Don't!" Sakura gave the blonde a strict look, but was quick to get her face back to neutral, as they heard the bathroom door open again.

"Why didn't you bring Mikan with you?" The Yamanaka changed the topic, trying to sound casual, so Hinata wouldn't know that they've been talking about her in her absence, although that had to be pretty obvious. "We could have dressed him up, too. He has such gorgeous hair – I'd love to do something with it!"

"Yeah, Sasuke feared as much," Sayuri sighed with a smirk on her face. Only after she had prepared him that his son, the new pride of the Uchiha clan, might end up having his face painted like a sparkly butterfly, though, but then he had volunteered to keep him at home. He had often looked after him lately, now that there were no new missions coming, and Sayuri had to admit that he wasn't as helpless about it as she had thought he'd be. Only a little helpless, but it always filled her with a sense of satisfaction, when she saw him struggle and could rush to his aid.

"Tze… men…" Ino rolled her eyes. "Can't do with them, can't do without them…"

"Uh-huh," Sayuri nodded with the same weary air about her that also surrounded Ino.

"Hey, how about coffee?" Sakura raised a hand to cover a yawn. "I hardly slept four hours tonight; I could really use something to keep me awake."

"Nope. This isn't the time for yellow teeth and bad breath. Drink your champagne – all of you."

What a tyrant she was.

* * *

><p>This was going to be one busy day and Shikamaru was glad that he had absolutely nothing to do with it.<p>

The first part of the festivities had started already; there was a contest in the new arena, where teams of Genin were competing against each other in sportive matches. These contests served two purposes; on the one hand the new arena was inaugurated, but more importantly potential clients could observe the skills of Konoha's future elite and hopefully be so impressed that the village would be showered with new mission requests and accordingly also money. They really, _really_ needed money.

Shikamaru, however, had seen the arena already and he sure wouldn't hire anyone, so he saw no reason for his attendance and since no one expected him to come anyway, he stayed away. There were too many other, mostly unpleasant, events today, he couldn't avoid, so he was determined to seize every peaceful minute he could get.

The streets farther off from the centre were mostly deserted, even more than during usual days. He had to know it, because he was frequenting this place each and every single day; he always found the time despite his full schedule. There weren't many people who liked to linger around on cemeteries, but Shikamaru did and that although there were hardly fifty real graves at the moment, but at least twice as many gravestones. There were also two collective memorial stones at each end of it and three others scattered in every direction of the village.

The grave Shikamaru visited was empty as well. It was merely a stark piece of grey stone with the name Sarutobi Asuma and a small Leaf symbol engraved on it. Nothing more, nothing less. Accordingly, one could argue about the sense it made for him to be here in the first place; he could just as well put up a similar or much nicer stone in his garden or his room even, but that would defy the purpose of a cemetery. Cemeteries are meant to be places of refuge for the living, where they can pay respect to the deceased. They are marked-out pieces of land where you can live out your grief and leave it there, so you won't have to carry it around with you. That was the theory at least, but it rarely worked that way. A rather common phenomenon in the cosmic joke called life…

Although all the tombstones looked identical, Shikamaru had no trouble with finding the one that belonged to his former sensei. His feet had practically internalised the way and so he could keep his mind blank and focus on nothing but the feeling of the faint wind, as it whispered through the grass, rattling the dry stalks, so the field looked like a mixture of a sea and a board of chess.

"Hey Asuma." Shikamaru gave a casual wave, before he slumped down in the long grass. It tickled his bare calves and as he meant to scratch the spot, he noticed a couple of dandelions, he had nearly buried underneath him.

"Brought you flowers."

He picked up the bunch of bright yellow flowers and laid them on top of Asuma's gravestone and then regarded the tiny speck of colour among all the grey pensively.

"Although… come to think of it, you would have had more of them if I had just let them stand there…" He sighed. "Too bad…"

And too late. But then what fitted better to a cemetery than dead flowers?

"Your daughter would love them. She loves everything that's yellow." Shikamaru smirked and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "And barbecue. She loves that too…"

He lit a cigarette and once the tip gleamed red, he took it out of his mouth and exhaled, so the smoke curled in grey tendrils around his face. Just as always, he placed the glowing cigarette on top of Asuma's gravestone, right beside the dandelions, before he lighted another one and took a long, lazy drag, with his eyes closed, his thoughts trailing off with the smoke leaving his lips.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but his cigarette had long burned down, as a far too familiar voice brought him out of his reverie and dragged him back down to the harsh ground of reality.

"Look who we've got here."

Shikamaru heaved a deep sigh, at least internally, and already mourned after the peace and silence that had become unreachable this very second and although he didn't really want to, he opened his eyes, not believing that she'd just go away or turn out to have been a mere daydream if he refused to acknowledge her presence.

"Temari-san."

"Long time no see," the Suna-nin said with a smirk on her face and her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked, not used to being bothered at this place; not only because the cemetery wasn't exactly a popular meeting place, but mainly because this was a freaking cemetery and people usually had enough decency not to bother any of the people spending their time here.

"I didn't." She shrugged. "Just saw something that looked like a burnt pineapple and figured it was your hair."

"Charming," Shikamaru said dryly and with a swift flick of his hand, he brushed the dead cigarette from Asuma's grave. There was already a small pile next to it. Maybe he should clean up…

"You do what you can," Temari smirked, before her face became more serious and she nodded towards the grave before them. "That the grave of your sensei?"

"Hn," he nodded and kept his dark eyes fixed on the characters that formed his former teacher's name.

"You come here often?"

"Yes."

"How long is he dead again?"

"4 years."

"He must have meant a lot to you…" she mused with a raised eyebrow, but as Shikamaru didn't comment, she did it like him and stared at the stark piece of stone as she carried on, "If that were my sensei, I doubt I'd visit him at all - except for the funeral. Not like it ever does any good to cling to the past."

Okay, that was way too honest for his taste.

"Asuma he… he helped me become who I am now."

"Jeez… how fragile you are. And you call yourself a man?"

"Hmpf."

He rose to his feet and finally, for almost the first time, he detached his eyes from the grave and looked at the woman by his side. She didn't look much different from how she usually did: same dark green eyes, blonde hair, supercilious expression and yet she looked all different. Maybe that had something to do with the way she wore her hair down or maybe it was the dress she was wearing. He had never seen her in anything but her ninja clothes. He couldn't even tell if it looked good or not, it was just uncanny…

"Wow, you almost look like a woman."

"That's just the dress." She rolled her eyes.

"Thought so."

"And you still look like a burnt pineapple, pineapple-head."

"Don't you have anyone else you can annoy?" Shikamaru asked in his usual annoyed tone of voice and that resigning slump of the shoulders.

"Nope, I don't know all that many people here." Temari shrugged and gave him a challenging look, wondering how far she could go with the lame oh-I-don't-want-to-do-anything-but-stare-at-the-clouds Shikamaru. "Hey, how about you give me a tour through the new Konoha?"

"I don't-"

"-have time," she finished his sentence, before she added in a harder and most of all impatient tone, "Then take some."

"I can't do-"

"-Oh, please," she cut him off with a snort. "Just see this as a mission to maintain the relationship between Suna and Konoha Gakure. Now get your lazy butt up, pineapple-head!"

Did he ever think that women were annoying? That was before he had met Temari because she surpassed every other female being he knew by far. She was even scarier than his mother…

* * *

><p>They spent about an hour, merely sitting together, having brunch and chatting more or less casually, until Ino caught sight of the clock and saw how "little" time they still had left, so she ushered them to her bedroom, where there was a huge wardrobe with mirrored doors. There they had shown each other their dresses, talked about what to do with their hair and faces and all other sorts of girlish things you could never imagine a man do.<p>

Ino had taken the lead of course; she always did whenever possible, and she had decided that Hinata's dress was entirely inappropriate for the event (too long, too closed up, too inconspicuous) and had then lent the Hyûga one of her own, which she had only put on rather reluctantly and she still didn't look comfortable in it, but Ino had insisted on her wearing it and so what could she do?

Hinata has been the first to undergo a full makeover and despite all her misgivings, the result clearly spoke for itself; she looked gorgeous in Ino's light, sleeveless lavender dress and the way her hair fell around her face in soft, wavy curls.

Sakura still ran around with a cucumber mask on her face and Ino's long, blonde hair was up in curlers and none of them was wearing their festival attire yet, which added to the discomfort Hinata felt. Meanwhile Sayuri was on her way to the bathroom, since she was up next and Ino insisted on cutting her hair, so she had to wash it first. She wasn't quite sure though, if that was really a good idea. Ino was already slightly tipsy, so she had some qualms about letting her anywhere near her face with a pair of scissors in her hand. If she only messed up her hair, then okay… she could live with that, but it would be a shame about her eyes. Oh well…

According to Ino, she was a complete catastrophe (she hadn't said it directly, but it was easy to read between the lines). There was nothing she did not want to work on and although she felt a little offended, Sayuri knew that Ino had a point, as she stared into the mirror in front of her. She had really neglected herself lately, and had no idea how she had failed to notice that before. She looked exactly like the stressed out mother she was. Her hair was just the most obvious thing - it was a mess. Damn, her hair didn't even look properly combed; although she was sure she had done so this morning… No wonder though, seeing as Mikan loved yanking at it or trying to eat it. And her face didn't look fresh and radiant either. There were tire-sized dark rings under her eyes and she's always had fair skin but right now she rather looked ash grey than sun tanned. She had only very little time for anything or anyone but her son, but still that didn't justify her looking like this. Other mothers managed that too, didn't they?

"You're ready?" Ino poked her head through the door and gave Sayuri a wide, ominous grin, while she already held a pair of scissors under her chin and let its shiny blades open and close again and again. Yep, she definitely was drunk.

"Uhm… y-yes." Sayuri nodded, though rather reluctantly.

"Good." Her grin spread impossibly wide, before she vanished again, only to come back three seconds later with a folding chair under her arm. "We better do this here on the tiles… so… any special wishes?"

"I don't care," Sayuri sighed and sat down on the chair, her eyes falling shut almost instantaneously; she had no real interest in watching the process. "Do as you please – cut it all off, leave it long. I leave it to you."

"That's good to hear. Just you trust me. I have you look pretty in no time."

* * *

><p>"Hey!"<p>

A voice wormed its way into her clouded mind, but it took some time for her to notice so. Her lids fluttered slightly, before opening. Not for long though, as they were met by the cold glare of the halogen lamp, the various mirrors threw right into her face.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead." Ino grinned and that last addition woke Sayuri up in an instant. Her eyes shot open and she automatically led a hand to her mouth, to make sure she hadn't drooled in her sleep. She hadn't really fallen asleep, had she?

"Watch out with the lipstick." Ino caught her hand by her wrist, while now a frown appeared on Sayuri's face.

"Lipstick?"

"Yep. I'm already done with you. Lo and behold my masterpiece," the blonde proclaimed and turned Sayuri's face to the mirror. "Pretty good, huh? I can't believe you really dozed off on me! But that made working on you much easier I guess. Although you bit me once, but never mind that now… What do you think?"

What did she think? That was rather hard to tell at the moment. She first needed to find out just who she was looking at.

"You're a magician!"

Ino had just taken all signs of weariness out of her face and she actually looked presentable, though different now, hardly like herself, but in a positive way…

An uncertain smile tugged at Sayuri's lips, which were now coloured a deep crimson and posed a great contrast to her fair skin which seemed to glow from within. She hadn't cut off much of her hair; just her bangs. They were a little jagged and swept to the side – the way she had also done before, but now it looked intentional and not like a makeshift solution.

"I know, I'm pretty great," Ino sighed, before she reached for Sayuri's shoulder and gave it a pull. "C'mon – let's show the others and you still need to get dressed."

"O-okay."

She followed Ino back into the bedroom and spent the next few minutes being showered with compliments and although she felt really awkward all the time and couldn't really take them serious, it also felt good; very much so actually… And now that she had put on the dress, round two began, although she didn't quite share the enthusiasm of her friends.

"I don't know," Sayuri said and did a sceptical turn in front of the large mirror.

"The dress is gorgeous! I don't know what you want." Ino rolled her eyes.

"But… don't you think it's a bit too much for a simple festival? It almost looks like a wedding dress…"

"Just because it's white doesn't make it a wedding dress. It's a simple summer dress and I think white looks really good on you, so stop complaining," Ino snapped and then carried on in grimmer notes, "Unlike me, you at least have an actual chance of wearing a real wedding dress one day…"

"Oh, I'm in no hurry to get married and neither is Sasuke."

"What? Why not?" Ino asked and stared at Sayuri as though she was a creature of a new, exotic species. "Just think of the dress, the flowers, the presents…"

"If that are your only reasons for getting married, then they are pretty poor," Sayuri laughed.

"It's not like it matters…" Ino slumped down on her bed and laid a hand over her eyes. "Kiba won't ever ask me anyway. I've dropped so many hints already, but he just doesn't get it."

"Then why don't you ask him yourself? Take charge of your own happiness and so on…" Sakura reminded her of the advice she had just given Hinata and flinched as Ino all but jumped up again.

"Tze – how unromantic can you be?" She gave the pinkette an incredulous look and shook her head. "I just somehow have to make him see it… anyway- what do you think about the dress now?"

"Hmm…" Sayuri gave a musing sound and did another turn in the white chiffon dress. She kind of liked the way it danced around her legs whenever she moved. Okay, wedding dress was a bit of an overstatement, it was too short for that and she didn't have a veil, right? But it still looked far too formal. "I don't know…"

"You're gonna wear that dress young lady and that's that!" Ino chastised, but had a hard time to keep a serious face, so she skipped it as she turned around to Sakura, "C'mon, you're next and you two – drink!"

She took a few steps towards the bathroom, but then stopped in mid step and turned around again. "Especially you Hinata. You have to smile a little more, otherwise the best make-up in the world won't do you much good."

"I'm sorry, I will try my best."

"You bet you do."

And then Ino was gone again. Sayuri shook her head with a smirk on her face, before she gave herself a last look and then sat down on the bed beside Hinata.

"The dress really does look pretty," Hinata said in her soft voice and tried to smile at the other girl, but Sayuri didn't buy that.

"Thank you, so does yours," she said slowly and gave the Hyûga a long look, wondering what was wrong with her today. She had seemed rather subdued the whole time, as though she was barely there and it has never yet been so hard to raise a smile on her face. Something was definitely troubling her. "Is everything okay?"

"Huh?" Hinata seemed a little surprised, but then cast her eyes down and nodded. "Yes, everything is fine."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I have to," she shrugged, but her response merely raised a puzzled frown on Sayuri's face and then they both remained quiet for a while.

"You know, if you need someone to talk to… I'm here," Sayuri said, "I can't promise that I'll be able to help you, but sometimes it's just good to have someone to talk to, don't you think?"

"That is very kind of you," Hinata said, "but there is nothing you could help me with."

No, you can't help those who don't want to be helped and Hinata appeared determined to fight whatever demons were haunting her by herself.

* * *

><p>"Your first sleepover, huh?" Sasuke asked his son as he walked down the streets towards the centre of the Leaf Village. It was getting fuller and fuller and he couldn't really say he was happy about it; not in consideration of what it meant for the rest of the day. Mikan, though, seemed really excited about seeing so many people and then all the colourful things they had put up: the lights and the balloons and all that… He'd probably like to stay outside a little longer and watch the event unravel, but in less than ten minutes, they already stood in front of the door of a narrow two-story building with a lot of flowers in front of it and on every single windowsill, too.<p>

Sasuke rang at the door and they at once heard a bark inside and then the pattering of footsteps, before the door was opened.

"Sasuke-kun, come in," Kurenai said and stepped to the side to make room for the Uchiha. "And hello Mikan. How are you doing little man?"

She tickled Mikan's chin, making him laugh in an instant; the sweet kind of laugh only babies can do.

"All his things are in this bag." Sasuke slid off one strap of his backpack. "If something's the matter, we'll be somewhere on the market place."

That is where the main festivities took place and luckily it wasn't so far away from here.

"Everything will be fine, don't worry," Kurenai assured him, before a tiny smirk appeared on her red lips. "Is this the first time you leave him somewhere else over night?"

"Hn," Sasuke nodded.

Kurenai was one of the very few persons, or maybe the only person, they trusted to take care of their son over night. Not only did she have a child herself and had accordingly the necessary experience, but she was a Jounin, although she was no longer acting as one. Besides, she also lived very close to the Jounin station, which was manned around the clock, so there should be nothing to worry about. In theory at least. And since she didn't plan to go to the festival it was a pretty convenient thing.

"Mikan!" Kurenai's daughter came around the corner, riding on Akamaru's back and at once climbed off him as she saw her guests. "Did he come here to play, mommy? Can I play with him?"

"What?" Kiba appeared in the corridor as well and patted his dog's back. "Now we're not good enough any more?" He feigned to be offended, but could barely keep a grin off his face, as he gave Sasuke a welcoming nod.

"I want to play house," she moaned and tugged at the canary yellow apron she was wearing. "Can Mikan be my baby?" she asked her mother, before she turned to Sasuke and added reassuringly, "Only in play…"

"I'm sure Sasuke won't mind," Kurenai smiled at the small girl, before she crouched down in front of her and rested her arms on her knees. "How about Mikan stays here tonight? Would you like that?"

"Yes!" Her big eyes lighting up with excitement and again she turned to Sasuke, "Can he?"

"Fine by me," Sasuke shrugged, only vaguely aware of how happy he had just made the little girl.

"Then we can play all night and all morning and all now!" She counted with wide eyes, amazed by all the possibilities that gave her.

She was a pretty intelligent girl for her 3 years; especially her vocabulary was impressive, although she still had that weird, childlike way of pronunciation, but if it weren't for that, it would appear mighty strange to hear someone as small as her talk like that – almost like a grown-up. But then she was surrounded by grown-ups all the time. Kurenai was often visited by her old team, same as Asuma's team, and they always took the time to play with her daughter. Still she liked it best when Mikan came, because then she could act as though she was the grown-up for a change.

"And when do you think you'll sleep, young lady?"

"Oh," she lowered her head, her eyes wandering from side to side, as though she was skimming through her plans to find out where sleep might fit in. "Oh! Can he sleep in my bed?"

"No, honey, I don't think that is a good idea. But you can sleep in my bed tonight." Kurenai smiled at her daughter before she rose to her feet again and ran a hand across her dark, chin-long hair. "Now go wash your hands. Dinner is almost ready."

"Hmm… okay," she moaned. "C'mon Akamaru. No food with dirty paws."

"You're setting off now?" Kurenai turned back to Sasuke, as her daughter was out of sight again.

"Hn," he nodded, busy with restraining his son, who obviously wanted to go after the huge, white dog. "It's about time…"

"She's with Ino, right?" Kiba asked, although he knew the answer already. Almost all the girls were at their home, which is why he was far, far away from there. "C'mon have a seat. This is gonna take forever…"

* * *

><p>A few hours later, they were all done, the bottle of champagne was finally empty and Ino must have taken at least a hundred pictures already. Posed snapshots, spontaneous ones and before and after pictures – her finger was practically glued to the release button as to not miss a single instance that might have made for a good picture. Though the odds that the photos actually turned out well or at least acceptable were rather slim – there were probably a lot of squeezed-shut eyes and cut-off heads.<p>

Dressed up to the nine, they stood in Ino's corridor, ready to leave for the festival. Hinata had left already. She's had to go back home, although they didn't know exactly why (but had of course spent a great deal of time with trying to unravel this mystery). All they knew was that it had something to do with her family… but she would come to the main celebration this evening, when there was the award ceremony and all these terribly pompous things.

Hard as it was to imagine, considering how early they've met, they were actually late. The official festivities had started about fifteen minutes ago, but Ino said it was better this way, since a little retard is très chic and they could have a proper entrance. People just _had_ to see the result of what they had done all day and be appropriately impressed on top of that. Otherwise, what they had done wouldn't make any sense. It never occurred to Ino that you might dress up for yourself…

Sayuri and Sakura were already standing in the corridor, waiting for Ino, because she had said she'd only need a moment, but that was ten minutes ago. They were both quiet. There have been a few pitiful attempts at starting a conversation in minute two, but since then they were quiet and just wished for Ino to finally come back out. It was such an unpleasant situation. They couldn't be alone together anymore. It just felt awkward. Sayuri had no idea what to say to her, if she should say anything at all or not rather remain quiet. As the silence became almost unbearable, she decided to address Ino instead.

"Can we go? It's late!" Sayuri moaned and darted impatient glances from the clock to the bathroom door, behind which Ino had vanished.

"Stop rushing me!" It sounded out of the other room. "We're late already. A few more minutes won't make a difference."

"But I told Sasuke I'd be there at six. He'll be waiting."

And she hated having people wait for her, same as she hated having to wait for other people. Punctuality was something every single member of their team cherished – that's probably the only advantage you gain from having a sensei who is notoriously late. Having had a sensei who was like that…

"And…? So is Kiba and do you see me hurry?"

Definitely not, Sayuri thought, but chose not to say it out loud.

"If we were only a little late, then okay, but it's quarter past six already and until we get there-"

"-never mind that. The longer the better," Ino interrupted her, while Sayuri couldn't do anything but shake her head incredulously. If Ino always behaved this way you could really feel sorry for Kiba. Although this was actually nothing like Ino; she was usually dead on time.

"He'll be impatient and annoyed and maybe he even thinks about leaving, but then he'll see you and BAM!" She threw the door open. It hit the wall with a loud bang and then she stepped into the corridor. "He'll forget about it all just like that." She snapped her fingers and gave her two friends a sneaky grin.

"I doubt so."

But how great it would be if she were right!

"You'll just have to convince him that it was worth the wait. That shows him that he can't just take you for granted."

"So? Are you ready now or do you want to try on yet another dress?" Sakura asked with a raised eyebrow, more than impatient by now. After all this was the fifth dress Ino had tried on and every single one had looked good and it was just exasperating to have her tell you the opposite over and over again.

"Nope." Ino smacked her lips and looked over her shoulder at the bathroom mirror. "I think this one's fine. It definitely serves its purpose…"

That it probably did. She was wearing a bold, backless dress in a rich purple colour; the kind of dress that was sure to attract everyone's attention; female envy and male desire. If you didn't know she was in a relationship, happily so, presumably, you'd think she was out to go man-hunting. Whereas Sakura, the only single among them was dressed nicely, though in rather inconspicuous colours, but then her hair-colour was eye-catching enough. Her pale pink tresses definitely went well with the beige of her light, flowy dress.

"Let's go then, you lame ducks." Ino stuck out her tongue and was already out of the door, while Sayuri and Sakura merely exchanged incredulous glances before they went after her.

Okay, maybe Sayuri wasn't blessed with the same amount of self-confidence Ino was, but even so she couldn't wait to see Sasuke or rather have him see her. Hopefully he hadn't left yet. He hadn't wanted to go to the festival in the first place, so who knew if he was even waiting for her still. It wouldn't even surprise her if he didn't. An hour is quite a long time…

But she hoped he did. For once in a long while she felt pretty again and she wanted to share that moment with him.

* * *

><p>There were only very few buildings that survived Pain's attack and what those had in common was that they were either located on the outskirts of Konoha or were for the main part underground. At times, as with this building, it was both. Being situated right within the mountain chain in the western part of the village and going deep into the ground in the shape of a beehive, it fully escaped any trace of damage. It had to go at least 50 metres deep and the only light came from above and so the deeper you descended the darker it became. The base was entirely swallowed up by darkness. The outer walls of the round interior were connected by several intersecting bridges with deep red balustrades; the only speck of colour within the dreary grey colossus.<p>

A stale smell hung heavy in the air and the droning of the ventilation sounded like bees, buzzing in a bottle.

On one of these cross-shaped bridges, only close enough to the top as to not be doused in perfect blackness, were two men. One of them stood right in the centre, his supercilious demeanour and the oaken walking stick giving him an air of superiority, which was enhanced by the fact that the other man, much younger than him, knelt with his head bowed submissively, on one of the arms of the bridge.

"You were added to Team Kakashi 6 months ago. How do you fare?"

"They don't trust me and won't lower their guards in front of me," Sai began without lifting his head. "Though I don't understand why…"

He had done everything he could think off to integrate himself into Team 7. He tried to copy their behaviour, for example. Sasuke and Naruto were insulting each other and it was okay, but when he insulted them it wasn't and he smiled in the same situations when everyone else smiled and yet his smiles were never returned. They weren't contagious, not even convincing. He was visiting them, the way they visited each other and yet he often enough didn't even get past the threshold of their doors before they were shut in his face. Sasuke was rude and yet everyone seemed to like him – after everything he did they even received him with open arms, but when he tried to be like Sasuke, it only ended with everyone hating him all the more and everyone told him to be honest, but when he was, it wasn't okay either.

This turned out to be the hardest mission he's had thus far; he wouldn't have thought he'd have so much trouble when it came to being a simple person, but by mastering challenges you become stronger. Too bad only that he was at his wit's end…

"It even seems as though Sasuke knows about my affiliation to Root."

"Then you'll have to convince him that he is wrong. Your mission is of greatest importance. Failure is not an option. The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki and the Uchiha brat cannot be left unmonitored. You'll have to learn how to interact with other human beings," Danzô said, as though reading his thoughts. "Trust can only be earned and I have a feeling today will be the perfect opportunity for you to try it out."

It was clear that the leader of Root was referring to the festival and so, not even an hour later, Sai found himself walking through Konoha's streets, as so often observing the people around him, trying to learn from them, wondering how to be like them. How could something other people did so naturally, pose such a difficulty to him?

Many of the shops were still open, the masses of visitors, especially from outside of Konoha, letting the shopkeepers hope for brisk business. His dark and perfectly blank eyes were focused on a giggling group of girls, who vanished in one of the many shops and as his gaze moved up to the shop sign out of sheer interest, he found that it was a bookstore. Through the huge panorama window, he kept watching the three girls and the ease with which they interacted with one another, until his attention was drawn to some of the books on display and one book in particular caused a pensive expression to flit over his face.

"This might be just what I need…"

* * *

><p><em>She didn't understand his plans. He planned to search for new, strong people to restore their clan, but these new people were strangers, they weren't family. How was there even the slightest chance that they could fill up the empty spaces left by those who were really born under the name of Kyuumu?<em>

"_It's how we always proceeded. We are a military clan – what you call family is only a result of strangers growing together in the course of a century. Blood relations only emerged in the newer generations."_

_He even wanted to leave by ship and set out to a new continent, because he didn't expect to find skilled ninja where they were. This was a peaceful world – peaceful as in fights were carried out via words and intrigues and not weapons. They had no place in this world. _

_But there were rumours about this other, distant continent, where there were great ninja – whole nations of them. Originally their clan (or just its members?) was said to be descended from there – same as their rivals, which is why they stood out so much from everyone else in their surroundings. _

_Why they were feared so much…_

"_We are no longer welcome here. We've never been."_

_They were just two people. How could they be unwanted in a whole country? Was there really not even the tiniest spot of land for them in the country they've been born in? The country she has always considered as her home? _

_His plans reached further even. He not only wanted to find skilled people, blessed with blood traits that could keep up with those of the former members of their clan, he also wanted to turn her into a peace weaver and dispose of her in marriage to make sure her kekkei genkai would survive. Once she was old enough, once she was a woman, she'd have a purpose. She wouldn't become a kunoichi. She would become a wife and mother._

_For now, however, she was pointless. The only reason for her existence lay in the future. The present was only an interval to get over with, so she could leave behind the useless time of childhood and become a woman. So she could become a breeding mare and meet his wish for glory and power._

_He never bothered to ask what she wished for._

_She wouldn't have known an answer anyway._

…

…


	10. An eventful night

**10. An eventful night**

A thunder of applause and wild clapping broke loose as Yamato was awarded a medal for his outstanding services during the reconstruction of the village. Many people received awards in the course of this evening, but none of the others had received a reaction anywhere close to the deafening applause for the man who had given the Village Hidden in the Leaves its new face. More importantly still, it was also thanks to Yamato that at least three-quarters of the attending people had a home again and so they used this chance to express their gratitude.

If you were to conduct a popularity poll in Konoha, Yamato would rank pretty high at the top – second only to Naruto maybe. Today, however, no one had cheered for the Uzumaki, though there have been numerous people who greeted him or stopped him to have a little chat, really many, actually, which made it hard for him to find his way through the milling crowd.

They had put up a lot of tables and benches in front of the Hokage residence and all around it were many different stalls, where you could buy something to eat of drink. Despite being outdoors, the smells of the various snack stalls, a medley of curry, lemon, butter, fried eggs and all other sorts of vegetables and spices permeated the air, so various in their odour that it was nearly impossible to make them out separately.

Balancing six full glasses against his chest, Naruto shoved his way through the dense mass of people, which disabled him from finding the table his friends were sitting at.

"Damn it, where is everybody?" he groused, but could barely hear his own voice amidst all the ruckus going on around him. Actually he knew Konoha like the back of his hand, so it appeared almost absurd to him that he had gotten lost here, but then this was an exceptional situation…

It all looked virtually the same; there were tables everywhere and as far as he could tell there was not a single empty one left and in between the rows of tables were people and more people, either just standing around and chatting or dancing or trying to move and get somewhere, the way he did, too. In the turmoil he couldn't even tell left from right, but he did remember that they sat pretty close to the front, with close meaning they could see the people there without having to squint their eyes.

And so Naruto moved to where he assumed the front to be and by the time he reached it, the glasses in his hands were only about half full and still no sign of his friends. At least not the ones he was searching for…

There, almost at the very front was the Hyûga clan. They had put two tables together so they could all sit there and they were almost directly beside the table the Hokage, the Kazekage, the elders and so on were sitting at. It didn't surprise him to see they were all among themselves and it didn't look like they were enjoying themselves all that much. They were mostly quiet and busy with looking solemn and dignified, although there probably wasn't any effort involved in that. It seemed as though only hushed words were exchanged; you certainly had no one half lying on the table and roaring so loud that everyone around could perfectly well follow the contents of their conversation. The Hyûga didn't need any concrete walls around them; they seemed to be there anyhow.

He fought the urge to just turn around and submit to the repelling force surrounding them and let his eyes roam across the table instead, searching for a special person he hadn't seen in a few days. He found her sitting beside her younger sister, almost at the head of the table.

On first sight it struck him how pretty she looked. On second sight she merely appeared unhappy to him.

There she sat, looking all gorgeous, otherworldly really, in her violet dress and with her wavy hair and that humble hint of a smile on her lips. He had never seen her (or anyone else?) look that good and he really wanted to sit down next to her and run his fingers through her shiny hair and make her smile for real, but something about her face told him that she'd rather curl into a ball and sob.

So that was the extent of the Hyûga's family intern troubles – they went to the great festival to celebrate the reconstruction of their hometown and looked as though they were headed for a funeral. Damn, he was curious what was going on there. He hadn't gotten a word out of Neji, but maybe if he asked Hinata…

He detached his eyes from the blue-haired girl again and let them wander across the table until he found Neji, sitting almost at the other end of it. Unlike Hinata, Neji seemed to notice at once that he was being watched and looked over his shoulder, his almost white eyes meeting Naruto's blue ones in an instant.

The Uzumaki wanted to wave at him, but with his hands full that didn't really work (which hadn't kept him from trying for an almost fatal second), so he merely nodded his head and took a step closer to Neji. This was a public festival after all and no Hyûga-intern event, so why shouldn't he stop by their table and say hi? The meaningful look on Neji's face told him otherwise, though, and as he shook his head then, Naruto was again reminded of his words:

_This isn't the time in which visitors are welcome here._

Though it went against the grain for him, Naruto came to a stop and after directing a last longing glance to the other end of the table, he turned around and left.

Hinata had not seen a single one of his admiring looks.

All she saw was how he turned his back on her.

* * *

><p>Sayuri has been really excited about seeing Sasuke and presenting herself to him or maybe she had just been excited about his reaction. In the end that one turned out rather disappointing though.<p>

Once they had finally reached their meeting place, they had already seen Sasuke and Kiba stand there, waiting for them. The very second her eyes had fallen on her boyfriend, a wide, irrepressible and most likely stupid smile had appeared on her lips and had persistently stayed there, regardless of how hard she had tried to force it back. When it came to coolness, she'd do well to take a leaf out of Sasuke's book.

He had stood there with his hands in his pockets, leaning against one of the large, square pillars of the bridge-like archway, which separated the market place from the rest of the village. He hadn't even looked up, until she almost stood in front of him and apologised for being late. By then, Ino had also reached Kiba and she had heard him shower her with compliments.

Sasuke had given her a long, unnerving look and she had been close to bursting with impatience, but all he said then was _nevermind_ before giving her a kiss.

That was it.

She had spent the whole day trying to look pretty for him and all she got for it was a kiss – something she would have also gotten if she had shown up in her bathrobe. Needless to say that she had been a _tinsy__bit_ disappointed, but then she didn't just know him since yesterday, so she shouldn't have expected anything else. He simply wasn't like that.

Then he had proposed to take off by themselves, before the others would notice, since they'd be stuck with them long enough later anyway and ever since then, they have been strolling through the village, taking a look at all the people and the different stalls. In all that time, Sasuke had kept his arm around her and she often caught him watching her, in fact he rarely ever took his eyes off her and that was kind of flattering - probably better than anything he could have said, considering how eloquent a speaker he was…

"You want to eat something?" Sasuke asked and draped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer as they passed a group of young and apparently drunken men, who took up most of the space on the busy road.

"No, not really." She moved her hand up to link her fingers with his, before she looked up at him. "You?"

"Not really," he replied in the same fashion and kept his dark eyes fixed on the noisy drunkards.

"The award ceremony should be over. Let's go and join the others. I can't walk much longer in these shoes." She grimaced and looked down at her sore feet in the high-heeled sandals.

"Why are you wearing them then?"

"Ask Ino…"

"Hn," he smirked. "Then let's go."

He guided her onto the festival site, holding her close to him, so they wouldn't get separated. It was crazy – just how full it was and how these people were acting, as though something was given away for free. Did that really have something to do with the reason for the celebrations or was maybe the new market place just smaller or had the organising committee failed? It was really good that they hadn't taken Mikan with them. It was hard enough to look after the two of them and make sure they wouldn't be squeezed to death; with a child that would have been much harder. No wonder that he had seen hardly any children here. If anyone should stumble within the crowd he'd probably get stomped into the ground without anyone even noticing. But then stumbling seemed rather unlikely. There was too little space for that.

Sasuke tried his best to look over the billowy sea of heads and find out where their friends were, but it seemed impossible. The various small groups melted together and individuals were swallowed up and became one with the massive wave that swept across the market place and rolled down the streets, pounding and winding and swaying to the pulsating beat of music. He was almost tempted to tell Sayuri that there was no way they'd find them here and should just go home, but then he saw them.

"C'mon." He dropped his arm from her shoulder and reached for her hand instead to pull her along behind him, as he pushed their way through the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd.

"Oh, look who's back again," Ino drawled and regarded the two of them with a raised eyebrow. "One moment you're there and the next you're gone. What happened?"

"What?" Sayuri cupped a hand around her ear, to show the blonde that she hadn't heard a word of what she had said over the background noise, the music and the chatting.

Ino merely gave a dismissive wave of the hand and then pointed at the other end of the bench, inviting them to sit down. The table was already pretty full; Naruto, Ino, Kiba, Sakura, Shikamaru and Shiho were there, but there was enough space for them and maybe two or three other people still without it getting crowded. How had they even managed to get a table?

Once they were sitting, everyone resumed their little conversations and Sayuri leant halfway across the table in order to understand something. After a minute she gave up again.

"Wow, I don't hear a word!" she half screamed into Sasuke's ear, wondering if he heard her; after all she barely heard herself.

"Maybe it's better like that," Sasuke said without bothering to raise his voice any more than is usual, so if Sayuri hadn't paid attention to his lip movement, she probably wouldn't have understood him despite practically sitting on his lap.

"Huh? Can you hear what they say?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

"Experience…"

"Tze," Sayuri smirked and nudged him in the ribs, before she guided an awed look over the masses of people surrounding them.

"I don't think I've ever seen so many people in one place. Just where do they all come from?"

"Hm." Sasuke shrugged. "Coming here was a bad idea."

"Oh, c'mon. Don't be such a drag," she moaned and looked at the man who usually said that and she was sure that Shikamaru thought something in that direction right now. "I'll go and get us something to drink."

"I'll do that," Sasuke said as she rose to her feet.

"Nah, it's fine," she smiled and stepped over the bench, before she cupped Sasuke's face in her hands and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'll be right back."

And before he had a chance to say anything else, she had already vanished in the all-consuming crowd.

It took her nearly fifteen minutes to reach the area where food and drinks were sold and another ten minutes until she held their drinks in her hands and in that moment she wished she had let Sasuke go after all. Squeezing her way past all these people on her way here had been unnerving enough, especially since some of them were sweating profusely due to the temperatures and probably also the alcohol (which she experienced first hand since her nose was on the height of most men's armpits) and she could really think of a lot of things she'd much rather do than throwing herself into the fray with two full cups in her hands. That is why she decided to take a break first, so she could take a deep, unobstructed breath of clean air, without anyone pressing their elbows into her belly and more importantly she needed to give her feet a rest.

That is why she slipped into the aisle between two of the stalls and distanced herself from the festival area. It was almost like having slipped into another world; back here she encountered hardly any people and all the sounds were duller, almost muted, as though she had plucks in her ear. Maybe she was going deaf… Only the smells were even stronger here – the smells of food and garbage, though, and not of sweat and booze.

She was on the road leading to the academy and decided to sit down on one of the benches there, but as it seemed she wasn't the only one with that idea. She could see a dark figure, sitting there on the bench, with his upper body bent forward, as though drawn down by the weight of his head. His elbows were resting on his knees, his arms hanging loosely down between them and there was a brownish bottle dangling from his hand.

There was something about him that didn't exactly seem trustworthy. It would have been the cleverest thing to give him a wide berth and search for another bench or just turn around again and walk back, but the latest events had convinced Sayuri that she wasn't clever and besides, she thought she knew that person.

With slow steps Sayuri approached the crouching figure, trying her best to peek under the dark veil of hair that obscured his face, and only as she was a hundred percent convinced of the identity of the man, did she lower her guard and quietly sat down by his side.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with her eyes focused on the colourful sky that broke into a crimson sunset. "Neji?"

"…"

"You're no fan of these festivals either, huh?" She tried again as he didn't respond – he hadn't even moved yet and somehow that made her feel a little uneasy, but she tried not to let it show. "Why don't you come sit with us?"

"How was your exam?" He finally broke his silence, though he didn't react to any of her questions and posed a rather unpleasant counter question instead.

"Err," she grimaced and placed her two cups on the ground beside her feet, which she had at length freed of the murderous stilettos. "I don't have the results yet, but… I guess I passed…"

-Or maybe not, but she'd rather think positively – she could still reproach herself afterwards and on more than enough occasions.

"Congratulations. Here's to you." Neji lifted the bottle and took a generous sip.

Now at the latest Sayuri knew that it was alcohol. She had guessed as much, but now being sure of it unsettled her even more. She had only seen him drink once and that didn't end so well. And that was on a festival, too…

"Hey? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's just fine," he said bitterly and took another gulp.

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Celebrating."

"_Celebrating_?" she frowned, before she ventured hesitantly, "And… what exactly are you celebrating?"

"My upcoming marriage."

Although he nearly spat out the words, they still left a sour taste in his mouth, so he tried to wash it away with the sharp-tasting beverage.

"WHAT?" Her eyes became impossibly wide. "_Marriage_? You mean, as in… getting married…? Why didn't you tell me?"

She clapped his shoulder, while a disbelieving smile fought its way to her lips, but died halfway, as his lack of response and just the whole situation in general finally made the penny drop.

"Wow…shit…" She shook her head and slumped back against the bench. "Who is it? Do I know her?"

"I barely know her myself."

"A-and is there nothing you can do about it?"

"…" He shook his head and so did Sayuri, though not with Neji's resigned quality, but with pure disbelief.

An arranged marriage? Not only did that sound awfully old-fashioned – something only the Hyûga with all their traditions and customs seemed capable of – but more importantly it shocked her how Neji just seemed to accept his fate without any resistance at all. It was his life after all, so there had to be something he could do, although right now she couldn't think of anything either.

"Wow," she repeated in a hollow voice, not knowing what else to say. "That sucks."

"Sure does," Neji sneered and took another sip, before offering the bottle to Sayuri.

She took it from him without hesitation, but first eyed the label. This wasn't simple rice wine, but high-percentage alcohol. Maybe it wouldn't be so good if she drank it. After all her tolerance for alcohol was rather low. But maybe that would be just what she needed right now… After the weeks of excessive studying she had to kill a few brain cells to get her head clear again. And it would be pretty mean if she let Neji drink here alone, when he so clearly needed company.

"Here's to family." She raised the bottle and tipped it slightly, before setting it to her lips and taking a sip.

The result was immediate. The moment the liquor touched her tongue, it felt as though her whole mouth was on fire and it spread down her throat and inflamed her entire chest cavity, leaving her coughing.

"Yuck," she grimaced and reached for her own cup to wash down the bitter taste and douse the flames. Not that it worked. "What is this? A disinfectant?"

"Not quite," Neji said, before he took the bottle from her again and repeated her toast without batting a lid.

"And you can't just tell them you don't want to, right?"

"No."

"Or that you have someone else already?"

"Tze," he hissed and couldn't help sneering because of the irony. Telling them he had someone else? That is what had gotten all of this started in the first place…

"But… it's your life! They can't just force you to do it!"

"I am but a mere branch house member. I have to acquiesce to the decisions made by the main house."

"But- that's just not right!"

"It's my fate. There is nothing I can do about it."

Despite his obvious aversion to the decision (why else should he be drinking?) Neji had obviously reconciled himself to the situation, so what choice did she have but do so as well? She wasn't a Hyûga and knew only very little of what was going on within the clan, so when he said there was nothing he could do about it, then that's how it was.

"Is she nice at least?"

"Hm…" He shrugged. "She's a member of the main house."

That didn't say anything about her character, but Sayuri was able to read between the lines. Neji had grown up hating the main house because of the power it had over him and now he had to marry one of them? What would their future look like? She doubted his curse seal would be removed, so theoretically she could make use of it whenever she wanted Neji to do something he didn't want to do. Like her personal slave. Now guess who'd be wearing the pants in their relationship…

"And what does she say about it?"

"She can't be happy about the arrangement either. Marrying someone below one's social status isn't exactly considered as prestigious."

And she thought she had problems… In the face of Neji's situation her stupid exam and her unhappiness about having to stay at home all the time appeared awfully petty to her all of a sudden.

"I was sure it would be Ino and Kiba," Sayuri mused and raised her knees, so she could massage her aching feet.

"Huh?" Neji turned his head to her, a big question mark on his face.

"With everything," she chuckled softly and watched shades of night steal the colour from the sky. "I thought they'd be the first to live together, the first to get married, the first to have a baby– just not necessarily in that order… Guess I was wrong…"

"Hn… we are the pioneers of our generation…"

"Sure thing," Sayuri giggled and leant forward to sit on her knees, before she took the bottle out of Neji's hand with a sweeping gesture and lifted it high into the air. "To pioneerdom!"

"Yeah… to _pioneerdom_…"

* * *

><p>It went on like that for quite a while:<p>

"Here's to marriage!"

"To babies!"

"To diapers!"

There have been too many toasts for them to even remember half of them.

"Here's to baby-making!"

It would have gone on if the bottle and the drinks Sayuri had actually bought for herself and Sasuke hadn't reached their end, but maybe it was better that way…

"Don't tell anyone," Neji said after a long moment of silence, which had only been disrupted by an occasional hiccup.

"Are you kidding? By tomorrow I won't remember anything of today anyway."

Right now it was hard enough to remember the beginning of his sentences by the time he ended them. She really wasn't much of a drinker…

"You look really pretty today."

"Finally!" Sayuri clapped her hands. "Thank you – that's number one."

"Huh?"

"Ino talked about counting the compliments you receive. Yours was the first."

"I see." Neji nodded, before he ventured a guess, "So Sasuke didn't say anything?"

"Oh no… I don't think he even noticed." She pressed her lips into a thin line and shrugged, trying not to look too unhappy about this. After all her self-confidence wasn't dependent on a single person, right?

"Tze, always said he is an idiot."

"Just from time to time." She stuck out her tongue and giggled, before she gave Neji a long, serious look.

"What?" He raised an eyebrow, suspecting nothing good to come from that look on her face.

"How about we go back and you show her to me?"

"No," he replied crisply and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Pretty please?" She fluttered her long, dark eyelashes, but the Hyûga remained unmoved.

"No."

"But I'm curious!"

"Not my problem."

"It is!" she exclaimed. "You were the one who told me about her, so now show her to me!"

"No."

"Show me."

"…" He merely rolled his eyes, not feeling like repeating himself again. Hopefully she'd stop if he just ignored her, but wide off the mark…

"Show me, show me, show me – I won't stop until you do, so if you ever want me to shut up again then show me, show me, sho-"

"-Alright." Neji cut in and got up. "C'mon then."

"Yay!" Sayuri cheered and leapt to her feet, but had to grab Neji's arm to keep from falling over. "Woah… that's not good."

_Note to self: No quick movements._

"Maybe it would be better if I brought you home," Neji offered, entirely selfless of course, and steadied her by her elbow. "What are you doing back here anyway?"

"Oh no, you won't just change the topic – show her to me."

She pulled her hand out of Neji's grasp and slipped it under his arm instead, before tugging him in a resolute zigzag towards the festival region, but then she stopped abruptly and for a moment Neji was afraid she'd throw up. By now he really felt guilty for having made her drunk, but how should he have known that it took so little? In one moment they had still been talking normally and a moment later she was suddenly giggling and slurring her speech.

"Wait! My shoes!"

She rushed back to the bench to retrieve them and reluctantly slipped into them again.

"Ready?" the Hyûga asked dryly and received an eager nod in return and so he offered Sayuri his arm to steady her and led her back, glad that the crowd had thinned out a little by now, but it was still awfully full.

With a stealthiness only a ninja was capable of, Sayuri sought cover behind a lantern, from where she peeked at the table the Hyûga were seated at, just close enough to have a good look at them, but not close enough to attract attention. If she only stopped giggling now, their secret espionage mission was sure to be a success.

"So? Who is it?" Sayuri asked and rose on tiptoe to look over all these big people that got into her line of sight.

"The one over there." Neji pointed at a woman with long dark hair, fair skin and pale eyes – a typical Hyûga.

"Wow, she's pretty." Sayuri nodded in admiration and squinted her eyes to have a better look at her. "She looks like you as a girl."

"Yeah… thanks for pointing that out." Neji rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest. The similarities between them were impossible not to notice and that was just one of the things that bothered him about her.

"Ehe, but hey – you are sure to have really pretty children," she grinned and turned back to Neji, her eyes slightly glazed with the alcohol she had consumed and that caused all these tactless things to bubble out of her mouth that was stretched into a permanent grin. "An army of mini-Neji-clones."

Although not knowing it and maybe having chosen the wrong words to address the situation, Sayuri had still hit the nail on the head. Having children – that's what this arrangement was meant for in the first place.

The Hyuga were desperate, because the youngest generation was on the one hand very small, and they deviated strongly from their clan's teaching. That is why they were afraid that this new generation will overthrow the clan's old rules and jeopardise the Hyuga's continued existence. And they couldn't allow the Byakugan to get weakened, not to speak of having it just vanish along with its current users.

That's the reason why they decided to have Neji marry; to make sure that his Byakugan, strong as it was, would not be lost. His future bride is a distant cousin of his. She belongs to the main family and is five years older than him. It's usually not done to marry between the two houses. The marriage will give him a higher role within their clan, although it couldn't do anything about his curse mark and his branch-house background. Nevertheless, if he were to have any children, which they not only assumed, but expected he would have, his first born son and his daughters would be members of the main family and would accordingly be in the hierarchy above their father.

It was an awful mess.

"What's her name?"

"Samsara."

"Uh-huh… she seems pretty nice… maybe you'll learn to like her…"

"That's not what it's about."

No, it definitely wasn't.

"And what if you just procra- pro-cas—tini- oh dear," Sayuri shook her head and put a hand to her forehead, before she tried again, "and if you just… … put off the whole thing? Like… forever?"

"_Procrastinating_ won't do," he said and felt his spirits sink, the longer he looked at the woman who was supposed to become his future. They kept standing in the cover of the cheerful crowd and pored over a way out for Neji. So engrossed were they in all their scheming that they didn't even notice that they were being overheard.

* * *

><p>About an hour must have passed, maybe even two – it was hard to tell with all the ruckus going on in her head – until Sayuri finally remembered that she was actually here with Sasuke and made her way back to their table, hoping she'd find it. In the end it was far easier than she had thought and she was actually a little relieved to see that Sasuke was still there.<p>

"Hi!" Sayuri flung her arms around Sasuke's neck from behind and pressed an exuberant kiss to his cheek.

"Late again," he said without turning to look at her.

"Sorry – _again_…" she murmured and walked around him to the end of the table.

"So?" He gave her an expectant look, but his question only brought a confused frown to Sayuri's face.

"_So_?"

"Where are our drinks?"

"Err…" She stared off into space and then slammed her flat hand onto the table. "Damn it. Hold on a second."

She turned around again, but Sasuke held her back by her wrist.

"Naruto already brought enough. Sit down."

He yanked at her hand and then she was already sitting by his side, though the contents of her head seemed to be suspended in midair and needed a little longer to return to their assigned place. A funny feeling.

"Did you stumble into a puddle of booze?"

"Huh?" She looked down at herself, but her dress was still as white as it used to be, no stains or dirt or whatsoever. Apropos dress…

"Sasuke…?" she purred and slipped her arm through his, as she leant closer and walked two fingers up and down his lower arm. "How do you like my dress?"

If he wouldn't say anything himself, she had no choice but to fish for compliments; something she'd usually not do (for fear that her bait would not be taken), but her alcohol level said _why__not?_

"…" His obsidian eyes rested on her for an awfully long moment, so long, in fact, that she was too impatient to wait for him to finish his scrutiny.

"Just say if it's good or bad – that's all I'm asking for."

No actually, she didn't want to hear the second one.

"It's good," he finally said, as reticent as always and Sayuri couldn't help but roll her eyes and pout. It was fine with her if he didn't give a wordy answer, but he could have at least used some slightly more creative words.

"Though I'd rather see you without it," he added and had Sayuri been drinking in that moment, then Temari in front of her would have probably gotten a nice shower. It left her blushing at any rate or was that the alcohol, too?

Wait, since when was Temari here anyway? Last time she had seen her with her brothers up front. Must have been too boring for her…

"Really?" she asked sceptically and straightened herself as she looked at Sasuke, pretending she hadn't seen through his ulterior motives, although he hasn't exactly been subtle … "You want me to take it off and run around naked?"

"Right," Sasuke snorted and draped his arm around her, lest she should get any stupid ideas. He has never really seen her drunk, so who knew what she would do? And he definitely had a problem with the prospect of letting other people – other _men_ – have a closer look at his girlfriend.

"Hey, would you dance with me?"

"You wish," he snorted and rested his hand on her thigh, his thumb moving in lazy circles over the smooth skin, just above her knee.

"Heh," she smirked, before she tilted her head back slightly to look into Sasuke's dark eyes.

Compared to Neji, her problems really were nothing. She was with the man she loved, who was in the process of building up a house for them. They had a baby they loved and they were free to do whatever they wanted to. There was no one there to force them to anything. She couldn't even imagine what it must be like to be forced to spend the rest of your life with a person you don't love, maybe don't even like. Would Neji ever be sitting with her the way Sasuke and her did now? Would they ever share affections and actually mean them – all procreation purposes aside?

She really didn't want to be in his shoes.

With an unreadable look in her eyes, Sayuri leant up to place a kiss on Sasuke's lips, first just softly so she could savour his taste, then building in intensity and becoming more insistent, searching, claiming – as though they were all alone here and contradictory as it was, the sheer masses of people surrounding them supported that thought – anonymity in numbers.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke frowned at her, once they had to break the kiss to come up for air.

"Uh-huh."

In fact okay was pretty much of an understatement. She felt really cheerful and as light as a helium balloon – if it weren't for her two centner shoes, she'd probably take off to the slow, dull sky.

"I just love you." She shrugged with a smile on her face, which grew a little wider as she saw the smirk on Sasuke's lips and the challenging gleam in his dark eyes. Instead of replying though, he pulled her closer and lowered his head to claim her lips again, letting his tongue slowly sweep into her mouth, without any inhibitions, as if they really were all alone here and in that moment it actually felt that way.

They weren't as unobserved as they thought, though. Temari, on the other side of the table was watching them with a disgusted expression, before her eyes roamed over the rest of the table and came to a halt on Ino and Kiba who were occupied with pretty much the same activity. Alcohol really did bring the worst out of a person…

"Gosh, they're taking over," she moaned and rolled her eyes, while Shikamaru, who happened to sit right beside Sasuke, nodded with a grimace.

"You should think they were homeless," he added and took a sip of the amber liquor in his cup.

"Well, they're just in love." Ever the romantic, Shiho defended the two couples with a dreamy smile on her face, but once she became aware of the sceptical looks on both Temari's and Shikamaru's faces, her eyes widened with discomfort and she revised her statement, "Err… but they really could take a room or something…"

"Hmpf," Temari gave an amused sound, as she watched Shiho lower her eyes with a flushed face. Who was she anyway? Temari couldn't recall ever having seen her and quite frankly she didn't really seem memorable.

"Eh-ehm… Shikamaru-kun?"

"Hm?" He raised an eyebrow and directed his eyes towards the woman by his side, without moving his head.

"Did you read the update yesterday?" Shiho asked, not knowing what to talk about other than their work. Shikamaru was a genius! She couldn't just start with simple small talk, but she badly wanted to talk to him, so she tried to base a conversation on the little things they had in common and that was their work.

"No," Shikamaru sighed. "I couldn't find the time yet."

"Oh… uhm maybe we could meet earlier next time and then I tell you all about it. So you won't have to do it yourself. Only if you want to of course…"

"Hm…" He gave an indefinite sound that could mean everything and nothing all at once.

"Well… basically it just reports about the growing number-"

"-Say Shikamaru," Temari interrupted the blonde in a lazy tone of voice, while examining her fingernails. "Do you still do whatever is asked of you or have you developed a personality lately?"

Her dark green eyes were now sharply focused on the Nara and she barely paid any attention to Shiho's piqued '_Excuse__me?_'

"I only fulfil my duties."

"Is that so?" she sneered, thinking back of a boy who'd do virtually everything to escape his duties. "How ambitious of you…"

There was something about the tone in her voice, he didn't like at all.

"Of course he is ambitious!" Shiho defended the Nara, since she had by no means missed the sarcasm in Temari's voice. "He is a true Konoha-shinobi."

_So that's how it is…_

"Oh? And he can't speak for himself?"

"Of course he can! He is-"

From that point on Shikamaru no longer bothered to listen. Just what had gotten into the two anyway? Whatever it was, he sure didn't want to get dragged into it and so he leant back slightly, almost forgetting that there was no backrest, and tried to let their chattering blend into the din of their surroundings, as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pockets. He definitely needed something to calm his nerves right now, and so he lit one of them and took a deep breath of the thick smoke.

When he exhaled again, the smoke curled in trails around his face and the faint wind carried it to the other side of the table, to where Temari was sitting, but he barely registered the way she scrunched her nose or the killer glare she gave him. All he focused on was the feeling of the acrid smoke as it filled his lungs and the way it managed to calm him little by little. Too little actually…

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Temari said with a disparaging air that made clear that it wasn't a mere wish, but actually a command.

"Wishes have the habit not to come true," Shikamaru drawled and took another drag of his cigarette.

"Wrong," Temari corrected, "Only if you won't do anything."

She got up and leant forward, before she snatched the cigarette out of Shikamaru's mouth and dropped it into his drink.

"But I'm not of the passive kind." She gave him a nasty grin, before she climbed over the bench and left, but while Shiho could do nothing but gape in shock about this display of impudence, Shikamaru wasn't surprised in the least and merely sighed, dejected about the waste of tobacco and booze.

What a creepy girl she was…

And now he'd have to get a new drink… Just as expected the whole day was a total drag. Oh well… off to the bar…

"Hey, where are you going?" Shiho asked, as she saw Shikamaru rise up from his seat, but instead of responding, he merely raised his cup with the now undrinkable content and thought that was answer enough.

"Oh," she nodded, somewhat dolefully, and focused her attention on the people around her again, although she didn't really know them all that well. Not at all, actually… But at least she knew their names or she thought she did. On the other side of the table were Naruto and Sakura and at the end of it there were Ino and Kiba. They were sitting, somewhat tangled together, like they were trying to fuse into one person. But who was the man standing beside Kiba again? He looked a bit like Sasuke, but Sasuke was now sitting beside her so it couldn't be him. It looked a little weird, the way he just stood there so stiffly and watched the people at the table. Was he a part of this group, too?

"Hem-hem."

That must have been the third time at least that Kiba heard this weird sound and only now did he realise that someone had to be clearing his throat, most likely with the intention of getting attention.

Although reluctantly, the Inuzuka diverted his attention from his girlfriend, at least partly; his body remained turned her way, almost wrapped around Ino's slender frame and his hand was way up her thigh, but his gaze now found the dark-haired man, standing right beside him, apparently watching them. Almost creepy that he hadn't noticed him before; almost creepy that he was watching them in the first place.

"Oi, Sai! What is it? Whatcha staring at?"

No one had quite noticed the ANBU yet, but at the mentioning of his name all heads turned his way in an almost mechanical fashion, displaying varying degrees of disapproval. Sai really wasn't popular among his peers.

"I am sorry to interrupt you, but would you kindly allow me to sit down with you, please?"

Now that was something new and you could easily tell so from the stunned looks on everyone's faces. Up to now it had always seemed as though politeness was foreign to him; they had never yet heard him say _please_ and now this…

"Well, it's a free world, innit?" Kiba shrugged, although he was still sceptical about the whole thing, which is why he watched the dark-haired man closely as he approached them and sat down next to Sakura.

"I hope you've had a nice night so far."

"Errr… yes." Still all startled, Naruto leant halfway across the table, so he could look past the Haruno at their new team-mate, just to make sure that it was really him, because it most definitely didn't seem that way -_that_ all people at the table agreed on, but who was it then?

"I am very pleased to hear that," he said stiffly, though his smile not once wavered.

"Sine _when_?" Naruto almost barked, entirely unable to hide his incredulity.

"Well, since you said it," Sai replied. "I couldn't have been pleased about it beforehand, could I?"

"But what has gotten into you?" Sakura asked, still with her eyes wide open and her head shaking in disbelief nearly every time he opened his mouth. "Since when are you so… so…"

"So… not a pest?" Ino helped her out and after exchanging a quick look, both girls nodded and focused their full attention on the ANBU again, as did everyone else, too.

"Oh, that…" Sai grinned and scratched his temple. "I've realised that none of you seems to like me and so I've tried hard to find out why such is the case."

"Did you?" Sakura asked with her brows furrowed; it was hard to believe that he had noticed so only now – she had been sure he had been up to seeking trouble with everyone he came across…

"Yes, I did and I've found a book that explains how to make friends easily."

Sai pulled out said book and turned it from side to side, so everyone could have a look at it.

"I only bought it today, so I'm not really far yet. I jumped to the chapter about what is important when it comes to making new acquaintances."

"But… isn't it a bit late for that…?" Sayuri asked hesitantly and gave Sasuke a quick side-glance. "I mean… we already know you… kind of…" She furrowed her brows, as she realised that she actually didn't know anything about him at all, apart from the fact that he was an ANBU, most likely a spy and that he had no manners…

"I'm aware of that, but I sincerely hope you can forget about everything and give me a second chance," he said, before his blank eyes fell on the cover of his book again and his mouth opened with sudden remembrance, "_Please_…"

"Tze," Sasuke hissed and narrowed his eyes into slits. Needless to say that he wasn't in the least convinced or impressed by Sai's apparent change of heart and as it seemed Naruto shared his opinion on that matter, whereas the girls at the table appeared far more lenient than them.

"Well… we could give it a try…" Ino shrugged, rather unenthusiastically though, since she didn't think much good could come of this, but she was of the opinion that everyone deserved a second chance, and that everyone didn't exclude Sai.

"That is truly kind of you." He bowed his head slightly to express his appreciation.

"So what does your book say then, Sai?" Naruto asked and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"It says that if you open your heart to someone, an affinity is made and soon people become friends."

"Well that's really nice and all, but it's not much of an advice, is it?" Ino murmured.

"That's not all. It says that you can start the process by making compliments. But they must be earnest and fitting or else they will appear insincere and that might offend people. I didn't really get that point, though…"

"Ah, you'll get the hang of it sooner or later." Kiba waved his hand dismissively, before a wolfish grin spread on his face and emphasised the feral side in him. "Then go ahead – give it a shot."

"Eh, okay…" Sai nodded his head and let his ink black eyes roam from person to person, until they at length came to a halt on Sakura, who looked a little uncomfortable, but also flattered about being stared at like this.

"Oh, what a nice wide forehead you have, Sakura-san. Would you mind if I touched it?"

For a moment it was eerily still at the table, but then Ino burst into a fit of laughter and was soon joined by the others, though in a more hesitant fashion, a little subdued by a sense of foreboding – that was true at least for everyone but Sakura, who had become rigidly stiff, seething just below the skin. Sai, however, was only aware of the happy faces surrounding him.

_They__ are __laughing.__ It__ must __have__ worked_.

That was the last thought that ran through his head, before Sakura brought her wrath down on him.

* * *

><p>An hour later Sai was still there, though he rather stayed in the background now. It couldn't be too pleasant to distribute compliments with a spilt lip and quite frankly he didn't want a cracked nose or swollen eyes to add to the deformation of his face. Besides, the compliment-strategy didn't work out and he wasn't sure what to do now – he hasn't read that far yet. Therefore he left it at watching the people around him, analysing their behaviour, as he so often did and most importantly, he kept an eye on his two targets, though maybe not as vigilantly as he ought to. This was a public event after all; in case one of them should have any hidden agendas, then this sure wasn't the moment in which they would come into the open with them. But then <em>because<em> this was a public event it was the perfect opportunity for him to learn something about interpersonal relationships, interactions etc. There was really a lot for him to learn (and he didn't even understand half of the things going on around him…).

Shikamaru, too, had returned to his former place, not only with a new glass, but a whole bottle, so he wouldn't have to leave his place for a refill over and over again, just in case someone should again feel like using his drink as an ashtray… He was rather lazy anyhow and the alcohol did anything but give him a burst of energy. All he wanted to do was sit here in peace, have a nice drink or two and wait for this night to finally fade into a quiet day. And quiet it would be; it always was after an event such as this…

Much to Shiho's dismay, Shikamaru did not care to participate in any of the small conversations going on around him, and so it was not surprising that he was the only one who noticed a rather interesting occurrence.

He did not turn his head, but reached for the bottle, filling his own glass, before he reached for Sasuke's, although it was still full, but then he only did so to get his attention.

"One o'clock," he murmured and nodded slightly, as he passed Sasuke his glass. Fortunately, Sasuke was perceptive enough, not to need any grand explanations and without asking any further questions and more importantly without being conspicuous about it, Sasuke's obsidian eyes flickered to the table the Hokage were seated at, just in time to see the ANBU, Shikamaru had noticed before, vanish, after having talked to both the Hokage and Kazekage.

Their glasses returned to the table again and as Shikamaru filled them for another time, he observed from the corner of his eyes how Gaara and Tsunade rose from their seats and took off towards the Hokage building right behind them.

"Something's definitely going on there," Shikamaru murmured under his breath, mindful to keep his glass high enough to cover his mouth, just in case. After all, Sasuke had told him about his suspicions concerning Sai and the fact that he sat at the other side of the table, definitely necessitated this degree of secrecy in his opinion.

"Hn…" Sasuke nodded ever so slightly and as he saw Danzô take after them as well, not even two minutes later, he was sure it couldn't be anything good.

* * *

><p>"<em>Cheers<em>!"

And down went another drink for a toast that barely seemed worth uttering; nothing about what they did seemed meaningful, but appearances had to be kept and so the Hyûga sat here at their table, showing that they joined the celebrations of the new Konoha and whatever else they could think of.

_Pretentious_, that's what they were.

They did their utmost to appear like a part of Konoha, when they were actually in the process of distancing themselves from it even further, and they were mindful to pretend that everything was fine, when a not so minor part of the people sitting at the table felt like doing anything but celebrating at the moment – or any other day in the near or maybe even faraway future. Neji was only the first one – who knew who came next? The only thing Hinata knew was that she would not be spared of her family's determination to protect their ancient lineage. Her father wouldn't leave it at merely deciding who she was not allowed to meet; he would also choose a suitable partner for her sooner or later.

Probably sooner.

And still she just sat here, always with that humble but so obviously fake smile on her face, drowning her emotions in adulations of her clan. She sure enough was beginning to feel tipsy, but the alcohol did very little to raise her spirits. It didn't seem to raise Neji's spirits either, but that didn't keep him from trying. She wondered if her cousin was trying to find the answer to his problems at the bottom of his glass, the way you might find a sunken treasure lying on the ocean bed, undiscovered and untouched for decades. Unthought-of, like any solution that might help him get out of this predicament; a way back into the freedom that has been taken from him the day he turned three.

Hinata wondered if he hated her now…

"To a bright and prosperous future."

"_Cheers!_" It sounded collectively and was followed by a clear clatter as the now again empty glasses were returned to the table, only to be refilled a moment later.

How long was it supposed to go on like this?

Hinata didn't have much experience with alcohol, but she knew enough to attribute her burning face to one of the last few drinks that had seared their way down her throat. Was she sober? Tipsy? Drunk? Most of all she felt sleepy and not at all the way she had imagined drunkenness to feel like. She didn't feel like laughing and giggling all the time, or to start dancing or what have you… Completely unlike what she heard inebriated people like to do – unlike what all the people around her were doing.

Actually she didn't feel like getting up but who was she to refuse the call of nature? And besides, she really wanted to get away from here. _Now_.

"Excuse me a moment," she said in a whisper and slowly, almost carefully rose from her seat, since she wasn't quite familiar with her current state and she hadn't yet tried walking and didn't want to risk failing at it in front of everyone's watchful eyes. She was more than glad that there were enough people around, so she slipped out of her family's field of vision and welcomed this new sense of anonymity. The feeling of being just one among many, without the annoying discomfort of paranoia that had haunted her, while sitting right there under her father's nose.

They had put up an extra house with toilets, right beside the academy, and once Hinata reached it, she could almost go half the way back again, as she saw the queue in front of it. At least in front of the ladies' toilet… This might just take hours still and although it wasn't this urgent yet, Hinata nevertheless didn't feel like spending half the night here. Maybe she could sneak into the academy…

After letting her pale eyes drift across the sheer endless line again, a despondent sigh escaped her throat and she turned around, taking the first steps away, when she heard someone call her name. At first she wasn't quite able to locate the source of the voice. She couldn't even tell if it was real or if it hadn't just been a product of her imagination, and so she looked from side to side and only as he already stood in front of her, startling her by his sudden appearance, did Hinata finally realise who had called her and where he came from and it now deprived her of any possibility to prepare herself. And an encounter of this kind sure enough needed a lot of preparation in advance. Especially for someone like Hinata.

"N-Naruto-kun-" Her voice was too quite to even reach her own ears, something that wasn't altogether uncommon.

"Hinata-chan…"

For just one second a serious, almost troubled expression darkened Naruto's features, but before Hinata had a chance to analyse it or assure herself of its actual existence, it was chased away by a smile, which slowly spread into his typical fox grin.

"Wow, Hinata-chan, you really look stunning."

Her cheeks had been flushed to begin with, but it didn't seem to get any worse. Even so, her eyes almost mechanically found their way to the ground, drawn down, while the corners of her lips curved up ever so slightly. Almost imperceptibly, really, but still that was more than they had these past few days. And more importantly in earnest. Naruto always did manage to make her see even the tiniest spark of light in the hopeless darkness and that without even trying. Simply seeing his face, seeing him smile did all that. He always got the best out of her and that is why-

She couldn't imagine a life without his smile. Without him.

"Thank you," she finally managed to say and let out the breath she had held from the moment he had sprung up in front of her; a sudden flash of colour in the dreary grey world.

"I came to visit you when you didn't show up the other day, but they didn't let me in." Naruto came right to the point. "Are you okay? What's the matter anyway?"

This was exactly what she has been afraid of. How could she possibly tell him? There was nothing between them, not on his side anyway, and still her father was acting like this… If she actually told Naruto, he'd be gone in an instant and she couldn't even hold that against him. Who would voluntarily go through the trouble of defying the Hyûga's collective stubbornness? And that for her little old self…

_It's not to be…_

"Uhm… I-I'm sorry about not showing up."

She decided to tread on safe ground first, before moving to the unpleasant part. She didn't know if it was a thing about her slightly tipsy state of mind, but her brain vehemently refused to form the words she needed in order to come clean with Naruto. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the fact that those words would contradict the very core of her feelings.

"Don't mind that. Just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can hel-"

In that moment, Naruto was pushed from behind and stumbled against Hinata, his lips landing on hers (actually a tad above them, but who wants to split hairs?). They were both caught off guard, to say the least, and so all they did was stare at each other with wide eyes, unable to comprehend what was happening, but once the realisation finally caught up to them, Naruto pulled away quickly.

"H-Hinata-chan," the blonde stammered, his blue eyes still as wide as saucers and his whole face flushed a bright red." I'm so sorry…"

"N-Naruto-kun," Hinata lowered her eyes bashfully, but overall she seemed more composed than Naruto did and that aberration did not go unnoticed by the Uzumaki. He could even swear he had seen her smile for the briefest of seconds.

"Hey, you didn't faint!"

"Huh?" Hinata's head shot up, before she pondered his words. "N-no, I didn't."

They both smiled at each other and Naruto couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but there was something about her smile, something about the way it managed to steal his breath, something about how it made him unable to take his eyes away from her, lest he should never see it again. She definitely was too miserly when it came to giving away her smiles, and he'd love to change that.

Maybe it really was just the alcohol – that at least was the most common excuse for just about everything that happened this night – but at any rate, Naruto felt shier than ever before – a completely unfamiliar sensation – and yet he was also struck by courage. A courage which made him lift his hand and place it tentatively on Hinata's warm cheek. Her skin was as soft as a peach and prompted Naruto to run his fingers across, as he leant forward slightly, slowly. Too slow it seemed because it gave his courage time to ebb away and be replaced by insecurity again.

He stopped in his movement, his face still a seemingly insurmountable distance away from Hinata's. Just what in the world was he doing here? And since when did he give so many thoughts to his actions anyway?

"Uhm… can I…" His voice was quivering and his eyes still gazed past her. He was such a goddamn coward! But he was determined not to put up with that, which is why he forced himself to look at her, look into Hinata's pretty, but also positively shocked face and clear his throat, so his question wouldn't come out as an unintelligible stammer. "C-can I kiss you?"

"…"

_You're gonna break my heart._

It was such a bittersweet situation. How often had she dreamed about this? She couldn't even count, but what she knew was that from this moment on it could only become worse. Maybe it would be more than one heart that ended up breaking…

_It's not to be._

"Uh-huh," she nodded nevertheless and tried her best to fight the dizziness that was trying to force her to her knees and then he moved closer, his perfectly blue eyes holding hers, but they drifted shut as his lips touched hers and froze there for a moment, giving them time to adjust to the situation, savour the sensation. The whole world seemed to stand still for them, for as long as their lips were touching and only as Naruto broke the kiss again, did all the sounds and smells and everything else return, though they politely stayed in the background and allowed for the two to feel as though they were all by themselves.

"W-was that okay?" Naruto asked, searching for affirmation, because to him it had been awesome and it would be kind of great if Hinata thought that way too.

"Uh-huh," Hinata smiled, the very kind of smile he wanted to see on her face more often and it filled him with pride to know he had caused it.

The next kiss came without an announcement and it wasn't as static as the first one. Once the first hurdle was crossed it came more natural and less hesitant. Still far from perfect – noses could be such a bothersome body part – but they had time and the motivation to work on their difficulties and improve their technique.

"Whoa, Naruto! Way to go!"

They broke apart quickly, looking slightly disoriented and also guilty - almost like two pupils caught cheating.

"I-Ino… Kiba…" Naruto stammered, as he caught sight of the couple and although he felt uncomfortable about being caught in this situation (and he couldn't even get close to imagining how Hinata had to feel right now) he did not drop his hands off Hinata's waist and just gave the two a puzzled look.

"Go on, don't mind us – we are already gone." Ino waved apologetically and was just about to pull Kiba away, when she had another idea. "Say cheese!"

They were blinded by a dazzling white light and then Ino and Kiba were already leaving. However that last spark in Ino's eyes remained stuck in their minds; it made them sure that within five minutes every single person in this village would know about them. Weirdly enough they didn't seem to care.

_Not yet. _

* * *

><p>The faint breeze wasn't enough to cool the warm air of this summer night. If at all it felt like a ghost touch against heated skin. They walked under a sky brimming with stars, like ivory dust dabbed on sable silk. The advanced hour had quieted the area and emptied the streets. The village had doused its lights for sleep, its buildings seeming to melt into the darkness. The eventful day was followed by a peaceful night. The air smelled of an impossible melange of old frying grease, burnt fish, whiskey and incense and the distant roars of some brawlers cut through the quiet every once in a while, but it was no less peaceful for that.<p>

With her shoes dangling from her hands, Sayuri ambled after Sasuke, her bare feet pattering on the hot pavement and her grey-blue eyes directed heavenwards, marvelling at the celestial vault. What a beautiful night for a stroll, but still something was missing.

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"You think we should go and pick Mikan up?"

"It's too late for that," Sasuke said and looked over his shoulder at his girlfriend. "And he might get passive drunk if you breathe at him."

"Hey!" Sayuri protested with a cross expression. "I'm almost sober again."

"Of course you are…" he smirked and before Sayuri had a chance to react to the obvious sarcasm in his voice, he put his arm around her shoulders and added, "And we haven't had any privacy in quite a while. Might as well make use of it…"

"Tze…" Sayuri gave a laugh. That's Sasuke for you. Here he wanted to have even more children, but then he missed having time for themselves.

"Do you eve-Ouch! I stepped into a shard," she wailed and lifted her foot to examine it, but as she did, it became apparent that her sense of balance was still rather poor and if Sasuke hadn't been there to steady her, she would have probably landed in a few more shards.

"Sober, eh?"

"Oh, shut your mouth, Mr Perfect," Sayuri grumbled and pulled out the piece of glass, before she began healing her bloody foot, but her chakra control was far from perfect, due to the slight haziness of her mind and that made her task rather tricky. "Hey, I'm seriously injured, you have to carry me."

"Do I?"

"If you want to '_make__use__'_ of having the house all to ourselves, then yes."

"Fair enough," he shrugged and next thing he threw her over his shoulder and began marching off.

"Hey, do it properly at least!" Her voice sounded almost choked and she felt the blood rush into her head. Damn, she was going to be sick…

Before it came to this, though, Sasuke had the mercy to shift her position so he carried her in his arms, with her head above her heels, the way it was supposed to be.

"Thanks a lot," she said dryly and after giving Sasuke a strict, though not quite serious look, she wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder. A languorous sigh escaped her throat and her eyes fell shut to the rhythmic tapping of his steps. He felt so nicely warm.

"You're not gonna fall asleep now, are you?"

"Huh?" She raised her head slightly, giving him a disoriented look, before she settled back against his shoulder. "Noo… I won't."

Her fingers brushed across his cheeks, her lips kissing the underside of his jaw.

"You know what?"

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You're like my beautiful prince and my white horse at the same time."

"Hmpf," he merely snorted at that.

And she thought she was sober…

He couldn't take her serious today and as he brought her home, carried her over the threshold and laid her down on their bed, his actual plans for this day crept into the front of his mind, over and over again. The weight felt heavy in his pocket – much heavier still on his mind.

But this was hardly the right moment for that.

* * *

><p>Everything was perfectly quiet so he did not quite know what it was that had woken him up. There was just the ticking of the clock, the occasional street sounds, although even those were much stiller than usually and then the beating-<p>

-_no_, the hammering of his heart. It seemed determined to break out of his chest and take flight. He couldn't recall having had a nightmare – not in the five minutes he had maybe slept and not after everything that happened tonight… No, he was sure that whatever dream he might have had would have come coated in cotton candy, so that was not it…

He didn't know quite why, but Naruto was awake and his senses were alert, heightened to the point that he could even hear the fine scratch, the hands of the clock made as they moved on from second to second. He could hear his own heartbeat as though he had a stethoscope.

But something wasn't right…

He was overcome by a sudden sense of danger, even before he picked up on the additional heartbeat, sounding calmly from out of a corner of his room.

* * *

><p><em>She must have lost herself somewhere, because she didn't recognise the girl looking at her out of the mirror.<em>

_He had acted on his threat. He had washed her, dressed her, done her hair and smeared makeup on her face to conceal the scars, lying gently like spider webs on her ashen skin, which was aglow now with a rosy hue, her cheeks couldn't have produced themselves. Her lips were juicy cherries, hardly reminding of the ghost she had become and her eyes were rimmed by fine lines of black, distracting from the dark rings that were there anyway. That girl, that nymphet, wasn't her. She curved softly in various layers of elegant fabric, a sumptuous kimono she'd need years to grow into._

_She looked like a doll that had suffered a few too many tantrums by an angry child._

_People used to tell her she'd grow up to be as beautiful as her sister, but when she looked into a mirror, she could detect no similarities, but their eyes. They were still the same, but while her dead sister's eyes have always been full of life, hers were dead, when she was living._

"_Now look at you." _

_The tall man stood behind her with his hands resting on her shoulders, as though he was proud, as though he no longer feared catching an infection when he was only close to her. _

"_Look." He demanded again and so she did as she was told, she couldn't find it in her to object to anything he told her, anything he asked of her. She couldn't find it in her to care._

_And so she looked into the mirror, looked at the woman she was afraid to grow into, raised her eyes to take in his face that was cut off above his brows. She wished the mirror had also cut off his eyes._

_The demon in them was frightening her._

…

…


	11. Shocking news

I'm really sorry for the long wait, but Christmas has been kind of hectic, so thank you for your patience. I hope you all had a great Christmas and wish you a Happy New Year – may all your resolutions come true, because mine never do ^^

* * *

><p><strong>11. Shocking news<strong>

The room was doused in perfect darkness, so dark that he couldn't even tell whether his eyes were open or not. The eyes that were known all over the country. The eyes that were feared by everyone who ever looked into them. The eyes-

-_the very eyes_ that could barely read the labels of the bottles he used to quiet his nerves.

His ears weren't as easy to fool though and neither were his instincts. His instincts were all but screaming right now. It was anything but an unfamiliar sensation and for a moment he contemplated ignoring it altogether and just submit to the peaceful quiet of the bedroom and the lack of any indicators for a disturbance.

But wasn't it a little too quiet?

His head moved to the other side of the bed, his hand following suit, groping over tangled sheets, along the space that ought to be occupied. Empty now, empty and cold.

Not really an uncommon thing either, but even so it led Sasuke to pay attention to his trained instincts and the overwhelming feeling that something was out of place. That something was not quite right.

Careful to keep the covers from rustling, he sat up, his eyes scanning the dense darkness surrounding him. He could swear that right there in front of him was a spot where the darkness not only looked but also felt darker.

As his charcoal eyes turned crimson he knew that it was more than a mere phantasm.

* * *

><p>Though he didn't think it possible, his heart still picked up its pace and volume, hammering so loud as though it was right between his ears. And try as he might, he could not seem to quiet the traitorous sound.<p>

Without making the slightest noise, he slid to the edge of the mattress, flinching, as the wooden floorboards creaked under the weight of his bare feet. Oh so slowly, Naruto moved his hand towards his bedside table, reaching for the first thing he could put his fingers on.

Unfortunately, it was only his alarm clock, but in the hand of a true master, even a mere stone can be more frightening than the sharpest sword, right?

With that in mind and his clock poised in his hand, as though it really was an object to be feared, Naruto rose to his full height, not sure if being silent was even necessary at this point. Whoever there was in his room had to know that he was awake already and it didn't seem to unsettle him in the least.

Despite how much he hated being underestimated, just now that might turn things in his favour. He'd soon enough convince the intruder of his misjudgement. Uzumaki Naruto was no one to mess with – especially not at three o'clock in the morning.

* * *

><p>For a brief second, the briefest and most unrealistic of seconds, he thought it was Sayuri. What a comforting notion that would have been, but in the end he only felt foolish for even having entertained that thought. He could never forget the way she felt. Never. And the chakra emanating from that large, dark silhouette was anything but familiar. Anything if not sinister.<p>

Maybe not quite as unfamiliar as he thought…

It was impossible for him to tell or to grasp any clear thoughts, as he realised just where that person was standing. And, forgetting that he was unarmed, forgetting that he was stark naked, forgetting the whole world around him, Sasuke stood up.

His eyes shifted.

"Step away from the crib."

* * *

><p>"<em>Identify yourself."<em>

* * *

><p>"I let myself in."<p>

What a bold and absolutely useless statement to make. As if he could have gotten in any other way. Still that gave him a chance to locate the speaker and do a first bit of analysis. The voice was composed and husky, rattling through the space of the room and seeming to come out of every direction all at once. Something about it vaguely scratched at the edge of memory, but he wasn't quite awake enough to channel his attention on anything but the situation at hand. It would have appeared very foolish to him, if he let himself be distracted by sorting through the folders in his memory section, with no hint, other than the sound of a voice. He'd soon enough find out who he was dealing with, for now it was enough to know that someone who would break into his house and stalk him in the darkness couldn't be a well-disposed person.

"Is that clock meant to serve as a weapon against me? If so then you can drop it right away. It won't work."

The words in and of themselves were taunting if anything, but the voice was nothing but blank. Just where had he heard it before?

"Show yourself!" Naruto growled, tightening his grip around his weapon of choice slightly, tensely, while he felt a growing anger swell inside of him, an anger that nourished the malicious demon in him and would soon enough taint his vision red.

His eyes, never once blinking, remained fixed on the shadow as it began to move. Step by slow step. The floorboards did not creak under his weight as they had under his, which assured him that he had a skilled opponent in front of him. But there was something else… Something like a faint rustle accompanied his every movement.

A myriad of heartbeat explosions later, the man finally abandoned the shadows and his face was illuminated by the faint glow of moonlight. Naruto almost dropped the clock as he recognised his visitor.

* * *

><p>"What a cold reception," the man said with something akin to disappointment resonating in his voice.<p>

A man. He had guessed right from the silhouette. But just what was another man doing in his bedroom? And how had he gotten here? Why hadn't he noticed him earlier?

_Why didn't the alarm go off?_

"And if I choose not to?" he drawled, sounding almost bored and definitely not unsettled, like you should suppose a burglar would feel after being caught. But then Sasuke did not believe for a single second that this man was a mere burglar.

A quick sequence of seals and then the bedroom was doused in an eerie blue light, emanating from Sasuke's hand and throwing strange shadows all over the walls. A shrill screeching, like that of birds suffering an electric shock, reverberated in their eardrums, leaving their hair stand on end. He wouldn't allow that man to stay in the cover of darkness, but even exposed in the glaring light, he couldn't make out more of him than before, since he was still standing with his back turned to him, his body hidden within a heavy cloak.

"That would be highly foolish," Sasuke said blankly and what an effort it was to have his voice sound that way! Something that usually came natural to him was now a great challenge. How could he stay calm, when fear was eating away at the essence of his very being? His nerves were so tense, it felt as though they might snap like brittle tubes at the tiniest movement and instead of staying focused on his opposite, on analysing his movements and being prepared to counter them, his thoughts were straying into directions he didn't want them to go.

Where was Sayuri?

What about Mikan?

What if it was too late?

Inadvertently a picture of his parents forced itself into the front of his mind. His mother lying on the ground, her eyes closed and her ink black hair fanning out underneath her, as though asleep, with only a narrow trail of red, trickling from her slightly parted lips and his father lying above her. Although at first he hadn't detected any sign of injury on him, it was far easier to tell that he was dead than it was with his mother. Just the way he lay there, powerless, with his head bowed – he had never seen his father in such a weak pose. It was only later that he registered the blood pooling all around them, spraying the walls and floors. And that smell. The metallic tang of blood and gore – it was the first time he had smelled it, but ever since then it had accompanied –haunted– him on his way through life. Who would have thought, before that day, that the roads of his life would be tainted red?

He was almost sure he could smell it again, hanging heavy in the room – too heavy to be a mere product of memory.

"If that is the case, then it seems like I don't have another choice."

The man said as he slowly turned around.

He knew who it was, even before he spotted his face.

* * *

><p>"G-Gaara…? What are you doing here? I nearly had a heart attack."<p>

Naruto's tense posture relaxed and with a casual movement, he tossed the alarm clock on his bed, before laying his hand on his heart, pressing against his chest to help calm it.

"I knocked, but you didn't react," Gaara explained and kept standing there in the moonlight, with his arms crossed in front of his chest and a rather tense posture. With him it wasn't anxiety though, it was just habit.

"Oh… eh… yeah, I was sleeping…" Naruto grimaced, knowing that it wasn't much of a ninja-ish thing to do. They were trained from the start to keep their instincts alert, no matter the situation, even in sleep. But then he had succumbed to one, maybe even two, of the three ninja vices, so that might explain his inattentiveness. They weren't called _vices_ for nothing. But why did Gaara – the _Kazekage_ – of all people have to catch him unprepared?

"So what brings you here?"

"I am here against the will of the Hokage and Konoha's council," Gaara started, watching Naruto's reaction to his admission and the Uzumaki did not look surprised, he'd say he looked grim. After all, it wasn't really a novelty that he was being kept in the dark.

"I see." Naruto nodded and sat down on his bed. "Go ahead."

"Hn." The Suna-nin nodded thoughtfully, wondering how much he should tell him. Eventually he decided on everything. "In the past weeks various people from Suna and Konoha Gakure vanished during their missions."

"What?"

People from his very own village vanished and he didn't even know about it? Was that how politics functioned? Covering everything up and doing nothing? Has it always been this way? Or was it his personal disappointment about Tsunade's actions concerning his own person that made him deem their procedures reprehensible, when just a few weeks ago he had never questioned them?

Again Gaara just nodded, giving Naruto a moment to digest the news, before he carried on, "The first two have been found in the course of this week-"

"-really? How are they? Where are they? And who did that to them? Did they see their kidnapper?"

"Perhaps. But they are in no condition to talk about it… ever."

That left Naruto blanching and his stomach churned. He didn't even know who it was, so it was probably just the alcohol he had consumed or maybe the butterflies in his stomach, which must have been struck by a heart attack in his stead, the moment he had still thought Gaara was an intruder, which he in fact still was – just none of the bad kind, although he sure enough had nothing but bad news in tow.

"But something about their corpses was peculiar, something they both had in common… …"

"Well…? What is it?" Naruto asked as the silence had dragged on a little too long for his liking.

"Snakebites."

* * *

><p>A mask, too familiar in colour and pattern to leave any doubt about the identity of its wearer, and then the blood-red eye, flashing from out of the single hole. However, it was not the Sharingan, which captured Sasuke's attention, not even the fact that a supposedly dead man was standing right here in his bedroom; the only thing Sasuke had eyes for in that moment was that this dead man was holding his son.<p>

"So this is the newest spawn of the Uchiha," Madara said and brushed a hand across Mikan's head, never once taking his eyes off Sasuke, enjoying to see his composure crumble little by little.

"Put. Him. Down." Sasuke's voice was a low growl, barely passing as human, and in that moment, Sasuke wanted nothing more than to cut off Madara's hand, so he could never touch his son again.

"Now _that_ would be foolish. Besides, you are in no position to make demands. I'd advise you to calm down. You don't want to risk hurting your own son, do you?"

That logic, cruel as it appeared to him, was irrefutable and so Sasuke lowered his hand, but kept channelling his raiton chakra through it, just to make sure that he wouldn't miss a single movement Madara might make, especially since he knew that already the slightest of movements would suffice to snuff out the life of his son like a birthday candle.

"Don't you value your son's life?" Madara asked, holding his hand above Mikan's tiny face, like he meant to grasp it and squeeze it out like an orange, or rip it off, or twist his neck, or-

-in that moment so many possible, if not likely, cruelties ran through Sasuke's head that he felt paralysed by fear and raw anger and didn't even know what to make of Madara's words.

_Calm_.

He had to stay calm if he wanted to save his son's life.

Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes for a brief second and when he opened them again, they were back to their usual black; powerless and in the dim but flickering light almost sightless.

"Good boy," the Akatsuki nodded and lowered his hand, but that wasn't enough to put Sasuke at ease. As long as he was still holding him, he was in the greatest danger.

And all of this because he betrayed him.

Because he failed to kill him.

Because he has been too weak.

Because he was still too weak.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked, his voice quivering with a mixture of anger and fear, his posture dominated by resignation. It was his fault that his son was in danger. He would do whatever it took to get him out of it. No matter the price.

"I'm here to have a look at the new addition to the family. The future of the Uchiha-clan."

He lifted the small boy up to consider him from all sides, and it was only now that Mikan finally woke up and it took Sasuke every bit of self-restraint not to rush forward and snatch him out of Madara's hands. He knew that he wouldn't be able to anyway.

"I'll make sure that he won't turn into such a disappointment as his parents."

_Parents…_?

"Where is Sayuri?" Sasuke asked in a hollow voice and felt his blood freeze at the thought of the empty bed in relation to the current situation.

"Oh… _her_," Madara snorted dismissively and pressed the now crying infant against his chest. "She has too light a sleep for her own good."

Sasuke's body tensed as Madara's leg moved, kicking against something solid and a moment later a lifeless body rolled from behind the bed, coming to a halt as it-

-as _she_ collided with his feet, her hand falling limply to the ground beside her face and hitting it with a hollow thud. Sasuke found himself staring in horror into half-open, though unseeing, eyes. Her pale, uncovered skin like a canvas on which disturbing flames of blue danced and flittered wildly in a flurry of movement. But then how could she appear so still?

_This can't be… it has to be a Genjutsu… she can't be…_

Sasuke's head shot up, his lips curling back in a snarl and he could no longer stand to wait for an opening to attack. With his bluish glowing hand pulled back, the 'real' Sasuke stepped out from behind the curtain. His black and red eyes focused only on the narrow strip of skin between Madara's mask and his coat. It was only half a metre that separated his hand from Madara's neck. Only half a metre he had to overcome, so he could cut his head off, while Madara's attention was still focused on his Genjutsu-self.

_Forty centimetres._

_Thirty._

_Twenty-_

That is when Madara spun around, holding Mikan up to shield himself.

And he couldn't stop.

* * *

><p>"<em>Snakebites<em>?" Naruto grimaced, having the image of a giant snake in mind, which slithered from village to village and kidnapped people, only to bite and drop them off again. A really scary thought. And again something about this felt so weirdly familiar. He must have really drunken a huge black hole into his memory section…

"At their necks."

"Okay… so they were bitten by snakes… and…?"

It wasn't nice and all, but Naruto couldn't quite tell what Gaara found so remarkable about that.

"How many ninja do you know who have a contract with snakes?"

So that was it! He understood him a little better now, though Naruto still couldn't say that the penny dropped.

"Ehm… just two.

"Two?" Gaara raised an eyebrow. "That's one more than I know."

"Well… okay, just a single living one, but on a whole two." Naruto shrugged and scratched his head.

"That is still one more than I know. Who are you talking about?"

"Orochimaru and Sasuke."

"Sasuke, huh?"

"You didn't know?"

"No, and neither does the Hokage," Gaara murmured and walked to the window, casting his pale green eyes over the moonlit village. "Our assumptions merely involved Orochimaru."

"But Orochimaru is dead since what…? Three or four years? How is he supposed to walk around and bite people?"

Utterly absurd. Is that what came about when the higher-ups of Konoha got together? It was really high time for him to take over!

"It is assumed that Orochimaru is dead, but fact is that no one ever saw a corpse. We only have Sasuke's word for it. Back then they believed him, because they had no reason to doubt him. But as it now stands, they are no longer sure about his credibility."

"But Sasuke killed him! Why should he make that up?"

"That's the big question," Gaara said, turning back to Naruto. "But whatever it is, his explanation had better be good. Maybe you should prepare him that he'll have to undergo another interrogation concerning Orochimaru's demise."

"That won't be necessary. He told the truth – I know he did – so there is nothing for him to worry about."

"I admire your trust in your friend's honesty, but there are moments in life when knowing one tells the truth is not a certain warrant for others to know so as well and I haven't had the impression that the sympathies were in his favour."

"Are you saying they want to make him a scapegoat?" Naruto growled, his blue eyes only narrow slits now.

"All I'm saying is that he should be prepared."

Gaara would not interfere in Konoha's business, at least no more than he just had, and so he went to the door, before he could let anything else spill.

"Wait!" Naruto shot to his feet, but the moment he was standing, he was hit by a sudden wave of dizziness and nearly threw over his bedside lamp, as he reached out for anything to hold on to. "But what is Sasuke supposed to do when they've already decided that they won't believe him anyway?"

"That's not how it is…" Gaara murmured. "Sasuke will know what to do."

And with that he walked towards the door again, but halted as the actual reason for his visit forced itself into the front of his mind. As it seemed he would do a bit more interfering after all…

"Oh, and by the way," he said and looked over his shoulder, meeting Naruto's wide blue eyes in the semi-darkness. "It's not sure how reliable the source is, but Akatsuki agents have been sighted again. They don't want to tell you about it. As the Kazekage I understand their decision, but as a former host I think you have a right to know."

* * *

><p>Sasuke woke with a start.<p>

His heart was pounding violently against his ribcage, his face covered with cold sweat, while his head felt hot and dull, like he was having a fever. Instead of waiting for the haze that fogged his mind to disperse, he turned his head to the other side of the bed, his hand following suit, groping over tangled sheets, cool to the touch. His heart nearly exploded with suspense, beating so loud that it drowned out all other sounds. Then, finally, his hand encountered a warm body, heaving up and down in the faintest of movements. At length he dared to exhale again and only then did he notice that he had held his breath the entire time and was panting now even harder than he had when waking up.

It was just a dream.

He rolled around on his back again, placing his hand in the middle of his chest, right above his pathetically fast racing heart, his dark eyes trailing the pale stripes of moonlight on the dark ceiling in an attempt to seek distraction from the images burning on the inside of his lids, as though they had been etched into them with glowing embers. For him to be unsettled so much by a mere nightmare… especially since it must have been the dozenth time already that he's had this dream or one of an equally disturbing content, though it has been a while, almost months… They all varied greatly in their content, scenery, in their choice of atrocity, but what they all had in common was that they ended with him losing everything.

_Again_.

Once he had calmed down, Sasuke sat up, brushing away the strands of hair, which stuck to his sweaty forehead, before his eyes wandered to the crib. He meant to get up and check on Mikan, too, despite knowing that it had only been a dream and that whatever demons were haunting him in some of the darker nights, would never leave the realms of his sick and utterly masochistic mind and were accordingly no threat to his family, but still he wanted to be absolutely sure, when he remembered that his son wasn't even there.

He should have listened to Sayuri after all, and picked him up on their way home, but it was too late for that now. Besides, only because he's had a nightmare didn't mean that Mikan was actually in danger – if something happened every time he dreamed badly, then Armageddon would have long swept over the face of the earth.

With that in mind, Sasuke remained where he was, but he still couldn't shake off that bad feeling and felt like he had to do _something_. That is why he turned to his bedside table and checked if his weapons were where they ought to be, pinned to the bottom side of the shelf above the middle drawer. A good hiding place, actually, but still Sasuke removed two of the kunai and stuffed them into the narrow gap between the mattress and the bed frame, so he could get them much faster if necessary.

It was just a little gesture, but still it left him feel a little calmer and so he let himself fall onto the mattress again and stared at the unchanging ceiling. With the familiar sound of Sayuri's soft breathing in his ear, which was from time to time interrupted by pitiful moans that made him sure he wasn't the only one who dreamed bad tonight, he prepared to go back to sleep and closed his eyes-

-and saw blood red Sharingan, Sayuri's hand falling limply to the ground, Mikan's face, doused in glaring blue light, his own reflection staring at him out of his son's watery eyes, before he-

His eyes popped open again, his heart racing. Just what was wrong with him today? He often had nightmares; in the past he had, although lately it had become much rarer, but usually, the moment he woke up it was over. He knew that it wasn't real, so why did it upset him so much?

Knowing the why's changed only very little about his situation and so Sasuke gave up on his endeavours and took a deep breath, before he rolled around and put an arm around Sayuri's waist, pressing his body against hers, her back to his front. He dragged his lips along the warm pulse in the crook of her neck, first just softly, then more persistent, insistent, until he finally felt her stir, sleep slowly abandoning her. At least a little…

A small sigh eased past her lips, as she left behind the world of dreams in exchange for the far less colourful reality. She brought a hand to her face, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, when Sasuke grabbed her wrist and pulled her around. A choked gasp escaped her throat as Sasuke rolled onto her, trapping her beneath him, his full weight bearing down on her, taking her breath away. Her eyes popped open in an instant, trying to find out what it was that had woken her up so harshly, which took her a moment, tired as she still was.

"Sas-hmmm…"

He quieted her by pressing his lips against hers, kissing away her protests. He wasn't out for any discussions just now. He needed the distraction. He needed to feel something good. He needed _her_. Just that simple…

And despite being tired, despite the discomfort, despite the lack of tenderness on Sasuke's part, Sayuri responded to his so-called caresses. There was something urgent about the way he tightly wrapped his arms around her torso, almost frantically, painfully so, or about the way he held her close to his own body, disabling her from moving. It was just something… something about the way he felt…

She felt close to suffocating, but in a weirdly positive way, as she was kissed senseless by the Uchiha and barely registered how he slid his knees between her legs and pushed them apart. Only as he at length removed his demanding lips and shifted his weight, leaving her gasping for the air that had been denied to her beforehand, did her head feel clear enough to begin wondering about his sudden behaviour. However, Sayuri did not voice any of her thoughts. After all she knew when to ask questions and when not to. And maybe-

-_maybe_ they were more similar than they appeared to be…

"It's okay," Sayuri whispered in a breathless voice and slung her arms tightly around Sasuke's neck, pressing her lips against his dark hair, right above his ear. "I'm here."

* * *

><p>To say that Gaara's news had taken Naruto aback, wouldn't even nearly do justice to the shock he felt right now and regardless of how often Naruto had called him back, desperate for an explanation, the moment the Kazekage had stepped out of the door, he was gone. As though he had actually dissolved into the sand he always carried in the gourd on his back. The streets were empty. There were no sounds but those of rustling leaves, he had at first mistaken for the characteristic rustling of sand that always accompanied the Suna-nin.<p>

Turning back inside now, going back to bed, for what else was there to do at three o'clock in the morning, still with a semi-drunken mind, the questions still burned in his brain and his attempts at recapitulating and making sense of the situation was like adding fuel to the fire, turning the inside of his head into a literal conflagration.

_Akatsuki, huh?_, he thought as he folded his arms under his head as a cushion, seeing as his feet were resting on his actual cushion, his eyes fastened on the ramen poster, right above the head of his bed. He'd like to have some ramen now, but then when didn't he?

There've been no news, no sign of life of Akatsuki for almost a year – ever since the day they fought Pain. The day they fought Madara. With neither of them alive, the organisation was lacking a leader and rumours had it they disbanded. If their intel was correct, then the only living members were Kisame, Konan and Zetsu, but Konan had left them and who was there to keep the two remaining ones together? How could you even call two people an organisation? Despite having no proof for it, other than a lack of proof against it, they were almost certain that their assumptions were right. That Akatsuki, as such, was no longer a danger – an estimation which did not refer to its remaining members. In the end they were still S-rank nuke-nin, but as individuals it shouldn't be too hard to deal with them.

And now they had found together again?

Or had they really ever been apart? They might have kept a low profile in the past year in order to recruit new members and restore their strength, but even so, without Madara there, was their aim still the same? Were they still after the Jinchuuriki? After _him_?

Questions upon questions and no one there to answer them…

A frustrated sound passed his lips and he pressed his palms against his eyes as he was overcome by the full weight of his predicament. He was just all too willing to do something, but neither knew what nor how. He was almost sure even that at this point there was nothing he could possibly do anyhow, but he has never yet been one to easily acknowledge or give in to his own weaknesses.

But after what happened, he couldn't just go to Tsunade; especially not after Gaara told him that she didn't want to tell him in the first place – something he really shouldn't think about if he wanted to keep his cool. But he somehow had to do something! He couldn't just sit back and wait for Akatsuki to show up on his doorway, destroying everything they came across on their way here. He was a Jinchuuriki and accordingly they were his problem, but what could he do when all the information was deliberately kept from him? He'd need a messenger or a spy who could supply him with intel, but unfortunately his relations didn't reach so far, unless…

* * *

><p>For the second time in this far too short night, Sasuke woke up as his instincts screamed danger. It was all the same, just more acute, more <em>real<em>, which made him sure that it was not a mere dream. The footsteps were so loud, so bold – none of the enemies he pictured in his head would be this careless.

Careless or not, this time round he would not waste any time. And so the moment his eyes flew open, he already had his Sharingan activated, his hand already closed around the two kunai he had just hidden in the slit beside his bed. The ones he now sent soaring through the air, taking dead aim at the door, the very moment it opened.

"Oi—WOAH!"

Two dull thuds sounded through the room as the two daggers hit the door, the intruder had pulled shut just in time to hide behind it. Sasuke's first reaction was to hiss a string of curses and sit up, getting ready to attack. Once the initial shock and the rush of adrenaline about actually finding an intruder subsided, Sasuke's mind was clear enough to analyse the situation and then everything fell into place and all the alarm bells in his head stopped dead at once. This was no dream and they were not in danger, still he almost wished the kunai hadn't missed …

"Teme! What the hell was that?" Naruto's voice sounded from behind the closed door, before he slowly, cautiously opened it bit by bit and peeked through the gap.

"What –_the hell_– are you doing here?" Sasuke countered and glared at Naruto, as he finally dared to enter the room.

Just why had it taken him so long to notice that someone was in their house? It was only Naruto, but it could have been anyone else just as well, although, if it had been someone from outside the village that person would have first had to get past the security system of the village and then the alarm would have sounded. Still that was no excuse for his inattentiveness. What kind of a shinobi was he?

"I need to talk to you two."

"In the middle of the night?"

There was just one thing, Sasuke could imagine Naruto might want to talk about with the two of them and that was a conversation he didn't want to have right now, or well… ever.

"If this has anything to do with Hinata and-"

"-What? No! It has nothing to do with her!" Naruto bellowed with an awkward smirk on his face, which soon enough yielded to a serious look again.

Sasuke watched him for a while, without a doubt still sceptical about what could motivate the Uzumaki to show up here so boldly, right in their bedroom in the dead of night, without even knocking at the door or anything. The unusual seriousness of Naruto's expression, however, led Sasuke to heave a resigning sigh, before he turned around and poked at the heap of blankets, rolled up on the other side of the bed, but receiving no visible response, he began shaking at it.

"Huh?" Sayuri raised her head and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, before an annoyed groan escaped her lips. "Again? You've got to be kidding me…" She rolled her eyes and slumped back down, burying her face in the thick pillow.

"Naruto is here," Sasuke smirked and watched her roll around on her back, giving him a perplexed look through lidded eyes.

"Naruto…?"

"Hn." He nodded as Sayuri propped herself up on her elbows, looking more asleep than awake still. "And cover yourself." He pulled the blanket in place, before it could slide down any further and reveal more skin than Naruto, or anyone else, should see.

"Err… I'm sorry… I didn't know you… eh…" Naruto stammered and kept his gaze pointedly fixed on the wall, his face burning red. "I wouldn't have… ehm… maybe I should wai-"

"God, Naruto," Sayuri moaned, "there is nothing under your bed. Go to your own room. There is no space here and you snore."

Having said that, she closed her eyes and snuggled back into her blanket, her soft breathing signifying that she was asleep again.

"Err… okay…?" Naruto gave Sasuke a questioning look, but the dark-haired man merely shrugged and then brushed a stray strand of hair out of Sayuri's face.

"I don't think she's much for talking right now… come back tomorrow."

"But it's urgent!"

"Hmpf." Sasuke exhaled wearily, still having a few doubts about that, but then even for Naruto it wasn't exactly common to show up in the middle of the night. "Go wait in the kitchen then."

"Eh… sure," Naruto nodded hastily, again blushing as he figured out that Sasuke was probably no more dressed than Sayuri was. What a great timing he had.

He quickly fled the bedroom and first thing he did once he entered the kitchen was pour himself a glass of water and drain it in one gulp, before refilling it again.

"This better be important," Sasuke droned and leant against the doorframe, only dressed in his boxers.

"What do you think of me? Of course it is!" Naruto snubbed, but then fell quiet and thought about where to start; it all went somewhat slower today. "Well… you know… …uhm…"

"Idiot," Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Have you unlearned speaking?"

"Hey!"

That bit of teasing was enough to loosen Naruto's tongue and so he began telling Sasuke everything he learned during Gaara's brief intrusion; everything about the missing people, about Orochimaru, about Akatsuki and only fifteen minutes later, they both sat at the table, poring over what all of this might mean, at first in the wider scheme of things and then what it meant for them personally. What they should do about it…

"The jûin is gone. Anko can verify that. And since then I am not able to summon snakes any longer. That should be proof enough of his death."

He explained that same thing to them 3 years ago, but these old people must suffer from partial dementia concerning everything that spoke in his favour.

"Good, I knew that wouldn't be a problem," Naruto sighed, but despite his confident words, he still felt relieved that Sasuke had solid evidence for his innocence. "This only leaves us with Akatsuki now. You think they are back together?"

"No. I think they've never been apart."

"How can you be so sure?"

"We're talking about Uchiha Madara," Sasuke said, but didn't add anything, as though that simple statement was self-explanatory and to him that's what it was. He never believed for a single second that Madara was dead. It was only a matter of time for him to come back and actually he had been sure it would take longer than this, but apparently he's been mistaken… At least he finally had the assurance now although, against expectation, he didn't feel any better for it.

"How can they just hide something like that? Isn't that… I don't know… _illegal_?"

"No. They can do however they please. And as long as they are only talking about assumptions it's even understandable that they don't want any of this to get known."

"_Understandable_? Are you kidding me?"

"They don't want to risk starting a panic." Sasuke shrugged, while Naruto stared at him with wide eyes, wondering how their opinions could be so far apart, when he'd been sure Sasuke would meet him with understanding.

"Tze, fine…" Naruto grumbled with a hint of resignation about him, before he came to the real reason for his visit, "So what are we gonna do now?"

"_We_?" Sasuke frowned, while Naruto was slowly but surely getting impatient.

"Of course we! Who else if not us? Who is strong enough to defeat Akatsuki? Who would do it?"

"…"

The answer to that was simple: he, Uchiha Sasuke, would do it. Madara was his business, his responsibility, his burden. This had nothing to do with Naruto or anyone else. He'd end what he had begun. He had to.

"The Akatsuki are after me, because I'm a Jinchuuriki and they are after you because you betrayed them. We're in this together," Naruto said and wished Sayuri was here, because now it was about convincing Sasuke to help him and it would have been much easier to just convince Sayuri and let her work on Sasuke then. She was one of the few or maybe even the only person he actually listened to.

"We are probably the only ones who stand a chance against Akatsuki, but… they won't tell me anything," Naruto said bitterly. "So you'll have to do that. Whenever you hear something, promise you'll tell me. Whatever it is…"

Sasuke would be his informant. Once this whole Orochimaru-thing was off the table, he should have access to all the information they needed. After all they regarded Sasuke as their weapon against Madara and they weren't as averse to sending him into battle (sacrificing him) as they were with him. He even heard some wild hypotheses about handing Sasuke over to Madara to propitiate him, although it didn't really make any sense since Madara was after him – after the Bijû he was hosting.

"Hn." Sasuke gave a noncommittal shrug, but that wasn't enough for Naruto.

"Promise!"

He leapt to his feet and held out his index and middle finger expectantly, but Sasuke merely crossed his arms in front of his chest and gazed to the side. Naruto's hand remained where it was though and he began making impatient sounds and after about a minute Sasuke finally gave in and locked his fingers with Naruto's, like in old academy days when they had always refused to follow this part of the protocol.

The blonde nodded solemnly and just as Sasuke wanted to pull his hand back, Naruto tightened his grip and said, "Whenever you know something you'll tell me and whatever happens then, we'll go through this together. We won't allow the people we love to get hurt again." He nodded again and held Sasuke's gaze, before he finally released him. "Not ever."

* * *

><p>Naruto stayed for well over an hour and once he was finally gone, Sasuke returned to his bedroom. It was not quite so dark any longer, with the pale grey of early morning crawling through the wooden blinds. His charcoal eyes at once moved to the peacefully sleeping body, occupying nearly three-quarters of the bed, then to the empty crib, which left him with a somewhat uneasy feeling.<p>

He'd get him first thing this morning.

Without making the slightest bit of noise, Sasuke walked to the bed and sat down at its edge, from where he looked down into Sayuri's face, which looked washed-out and faded in the faint grey light that drained the whole room of its colour. He softly ran a hand across her cheek and watched her scrunch her nose, before snuggling deeper into her pillow with a small sigh.

"Not ever," he whispered and rolled his eyes because of repeating Naruto's overly dramatic words. Was he contagious? He'd be damned if he started talking like that dimwit now.

But for once, Naruto had actually said something intelligent. He would not allow any of the people he loved to get hurt again. They had already suffered more than enough because of the choices he had made in the past. That would not happen again. No one should have to suffer on his account.

Cautiously he leant down and placed a kiss on the side of her slightly parted lips.

_I'm here._

An amused snort escaped his lips as he thought back of her words. He couldn't believe he was this easy to read…

* * *

><p>"Tsunade-sama!"<p>

Shizune rushed into the office of her mentor, only to find her half-lie with her head on the table and her hands clasped above the back of her neck, still dead to the world.

"Tsunade!" she bellowed, louder this time, and caused the other woman to shoot up from her desk in one jerky movement, before almost collapsing in on herself again, but with some effort she managed to keep her head up by resting it on her hand. And now there she sat with her bloodshot eyes, her tangled hair and the trail of dried drool on her chin, looking as dignified as you would expect from the head of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

"Whatisit…?" she mumbled heavy-tongued and started massaging her throbbing temples. She really overdid it last night, but after all the bad news she had needed something to help her fall asleep, some kind of nightcap, but upset as she had been, she had needed quite a lot of it and now she was suffering the consequences. Somehow she had a feeling that she wouldn't even feel half as bad if her hangover had been a result of a great night out.

"We received a message from Anko's team," Shizune said and filled a bit of yesterday's tea into a cup and passed it to Tsunade. "They identified the person responsible for the kidnappings."

"What? Who is it?"

"Yakushi Kabuto."

Tsunade's amber eyes widened at the news, the shock making her forget about her aching head even, at least for a moment… So Kabuto was the snake-summoner? It made enough sense. After all the years he spent with Orochimaru he had likely copied a trick or two from him. It was just weird that he showed up now of all times, after having stayed underground ever since the fall of the Hidden Sound. At least that refuted the assumption of Orochimaru being alive.

"They tracked him into the Land of Thunder, but lost him again."

The bad news was piling up. Not only Akatsuki but also Kabuto – that were a few too many incidents too seem accidental.

Something was definitely happening and it was happening fast.

* * *

><p><em>Oh God<em>, was the first thought that ran through Sayuri's head as she woke up that day. Greeted by the harsh, bright light of midday sun, her eyes couldn't be prompted to stay open and quite frankly she didn't want them to. The light was a stab where it touched her. It was just too painful. After a lot of rolling around and cursing whatever it was that had woken her up (probably the sun) she sat up, but wished she hadn't. The whole room seemed to be floating, there was nothing static, nothing to stabilise her and keep her from wavering and falling right over again. Her head was aching, her eyes were aching and so was her stomach – hell the pain even seemed to reach down into the ends of her hair! This was probably the worst morning she has ever had…

With more of an effort than she could be proud of, she managed to crawl into Sasuke's large black shirt and got up, keeping a hand at the wall though, just to be on the safe side. Her stomach was churning with the alcohol that poisoned her system, causing intense waves of nausea to roll over her and she had to take deep breaths and wait for it to pass, before she finally made her way out of the bedroom. Her plan of heading straight to the bathroom, where not only a wide range of pain medication, but also a toilet were waiting for her, was not put into action though, as she saw Sasuke sit in the living-room.

She approached him as though she was walking on eggshells and slumped down on his lap. Without bothering to hide her anguish, she buried her face in his shoulder and slid her arms under his, folding her hands loosely at the small of his back. She felt really small there in his arms. Like a starfish, clinging to a big, solid rock for dear life, while merciless waves were thrashing down and around her, trying to pull her into the depths.

"Headache?" Sasuke asked and took a sip of his coffee as though nothing had happened.

"Uh-huh," she nodded miserably.

"Tze, serves you right," he gloated (although he hadn't felt so great this morning either) and slid a hand under her shirt, moving it over her bare back in slow circles.

"Nice…"

"No one told you to drink so much."

"Yeah, but no one kept me from it either."

"Tze." Sasuke sneered and passed her his cup of coffee.

"Thank you." She took the cup from him, but to her great disappointment, the caffeine made her feel no better, it only added hot flashes to her current grievances. She'd never drink again.

"We should go and pick Mikan up," she sighed, but snuggled closer to Sasuke, wanting to just stay here until she was better, but then Sasuke put his index finger under her chin and pushed her face up. Over his shoulder she could see Mikan's playpen, right next to the door leading onto the porch and in the middle of it sat their son, playing with a teddy bear.

"You already did…? You're the best."

"Don't say," he said dryly, making Sayuri giggle, before she kissed his cheek and leant back against his shoulder.

"I've had a strange dream…"

* * *

><p><em>The first time she had left the village had only been a few months ago and she couldn't recall ever having had the desire to see anything of the world outside the high town walls containing her home; the tiny idyll created by the people she cherished more than anything, the people she loved more than anything, the people-<em>

_-the people that were gone now more than anything._

_And now they were leaving this place, too. Leaving it all to the memories that had become an inseparable part of it, just as they were an inseparable part of them. Oblivion is a comfort too sweet, too desirable and they just weren't good enough people to deserve any part of it._

_It's not like feeling good or indifferent about it, would just undo what happened._

_**Twenty**_

_**Twenty-one**_

_**Twenty-two…**_

_**Twenty-three…**_

…_**Twenty-four…**_

…

…_**Twenty-…**_

…_**-five…**_

_The small girl stopped then and turned around, unable to get herself to take just one further step away from her past home. Or maybe it was that she wanted to make sure it was still there, still with it's streets drenched in blood and sin and the broken walls and the haze of death and all the memories … all the ghosts …_

_Maybe she turned around with the hope of finding it had all been a dream; that everything was still the same and she was just in the process of abandoning an intact home. She hoped to see the buildings whole; whole and full with people, happy people. She wanted to stay in the place that had seen her laugh and cry; the place that had meant to be her future; the future of so many people; the place that was nothing now, if only-_

_-**if only** it had been a dream. If only it never happened. _

_Maybe she wanted to stop herself from making the biggest mistake in her life._

_But of course it was no dream. Of course there was no mistake bigger than those she had already done, **they** had all done. The mistakes that left her all alone, but even so she'd rather stay behind, haunt through her broken home and drown herself in the ether of memory. She wanted the pain, because it reminded her that there used to be a time when she felt better, when she felt loved._

_When she was loved._

_**Twenty-six**_

_She was forced to move on, but couldn't stop looking back at the future she'd never have; the life she could never return to; all that was left for her was a life she didn't want to live._

…

…


	12. A less than perfect morning

**12. A less than perfect morning**

It's the early bird that catches the worm, is what Hinata thought, as she got up with the larks and greeted the first rays of the sun with a soft smile. Looking out of the window, she found the day looking nice enough already, which made it easy for her to commence her morning ritual despite it being so early still. She got dressed quickly, brushed her teeth and washed her face and in no more than fifteen minutes she was already outdoors, tiptoeing across the wooden porch in the cooling shade of the canopy. Hopefully she wouldn't wake anyone.

"Aren't you a bit early for training?"

The sound of her father's voice sent cold shivers down her spine and she came to an abrupt halt, trying to erase every hint of guilt from her face, before she turned around to him.

"Good morning, father," she nodded, smiling away her discomfort and although she felt caught, she didn't let it show. After all she already had an excuse at the ready. "It's not too early if I want to get better, now that it seems that I'm in the run for the title of heiress after all."

"That is very exemplary." Hiashi nodded with satisfaction, but Hinata did not fail to pick up on the suspicious look preceding his gesture of approval. "As expected of my oldest daughter."

Yes, that's who she was: the exemplary daughter, who lied to her father's face without batting a lid.

"If you say so," she replied humbly with lowered head and made her way to the training grounds, where she would meet her team in about an hour. Still she did not find the place empty; there amidst the high grass and the bushes, leaning against a wooden pillar, stood Naruto. Right on time even, which surprised her quite a bit…

He was a good distance away still, and she didn't think he had seen her yet, which is why Hinata took a brief pause to breathe through, trying her best to calm her racing heart and will the unpleasant and so very traitorous heat out of her face. She did not grant herself much time for these endeavours though; after all she didn't want to let him wait and so, after taking another deep, deep breath, Hinata moved towards the blonde and waved at him with a timid smile on her face.

"Good morning, Naruto…kun…?"

Her smile wavered, as she noted the downcast look on Naruto's face, but the moment she had his attention, he smiled at her, but that did not make her forget about the look from before.

"Good morning, Hinata-chan! How are you doing?" He smiled widely.

"Good… Is everything okay? You seem so…" She shrugged for a lack of better words, while Naruto sighed stern-faced and his shoulders slumped down ever so slightly.

So he hadn't been able to fool her… no point hiding it then…

"Oh well… don't know…" Naruto shrugged, looking and sounding so uncommonly bitter. "Just woke up this one day and realised I was surrounded by liars."

"Huh?"

Hinata's heart threatened to explode in her chest and every sound seemed stuck in her throat. So Naruto knew she hasn't been honest to him. Knew what her father thought of him and now he hated her for it. After they had finally managed to get closer to each other, it was now over again.

"But you're not like this." His voice was softer again and so were his eyes, which now rested on Hinata's frozen face, again admiring how pretty she was, even this early in the morning… "You're different. You'd never let me down…"

"N-Naruto-kun…" She lowered her head and inhaled deeply, at first relieved that she had misinterpreted the situation, then merely ashamed, because only because she, or actually Naruto, had misinterpreted the situation didn't change anything about the situation as such. She was still a liar.

"But enough of that…" Naruto gave a dismissive wave of the hand and smiled at the Hyûga. He wasn't here to talk about any of these things. At this point, there was nothing Hinata could do anyhow. He had talked to Sasuke and secured his support and that was all he could do for the time being. They had come here for completely different things…

"Hey, can we try kissing again? I kind of liked that…" Naruto scratched the back of his head with a sheepish smile on his face.

Instead of responding, which she didn't think herself capable of anyhow, Hinata blushed heavily. Without the alcohol she was back to being a small, self-conscious girl. She would like to tell him yes, but everything in her head screamed NO!, regardless of how much she had liked it, but there was so much she could do wrong… And what if he would not like it again this time round …?

Some barking in the distance relieved her of the pressure of having to come up with a response or a direct action. It seemed that Kiba, too, was early for training, and although they had met here to have some time together, all by themselves, Hinata was still thankful that he was here, while Naruto didn't seem to share her opinion in the least.

"Damn – what is he doing here?" Naruto glared over his shoulder at the two tiny black spots in the distance that slowly but surely assumed shape.

"Kiba-kun is rarely this early," Hinata murmured in an even for her thin voice and thanked the heavens for this unprecedented deviation from the norm. "I guess I have to go then…"

Relieved or not, saying goodbye to Naruto still left her feel bad – she liked and disliked being with him; she liked it because she enjoyed being in his presence and she disliked it because being near him made her acutely aware of her own presence.

"Hmm… seems so…" Naruto grumbled, a little disappointed that they've only had so little time. "Hey, how about we have something to eat this evening… like a… _date_, you know?"

_A real date this time._

"My treat of course," Naruto added, as he noticed the hesitation on Hinata's part.

This hesitation, however, was not based on any financial problems or because she simply didn't want to; it was because Hinata knew she wasn't allowed to. But how could she possibly say no to him? Nonetheless today wouldn't work, but her father would be busy tomorrow…

"I-I don't think I'll manage today… would tomorrow be okay?"

"Tomorrow it is then – 7 o'clock in front of Ichiraku, okay?"

"Okay."

"Great," Naruto nodded with a smile, but then pressed his lips into a thin line with a tense look on his face. Then he leant forward in an awkward, uncoordinated movement and patted Hinata's back in something faintly resembling a hug and as he pulled back again, his lips brushed her cheek in something faintly resembling a kiss and then he left.

Hinata could still feel her cheek burn hours later.

* * *

><p>A little disappointed, but not as much as could be expected, since after all he still had tomorrow to look forward to, Naruto made his way back home, planning to finally have the breakfast he's had to skip this morning in order to be on time. And all of that for the ten minutes they had spent together. Still he thought it was all worth it…<p>

"Oi, Naruto-kun"

"Huh? Oh, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto looked up at the grey-haired Jounin, who didn't even lift his eyes off his book as he greeted his student. "Up already?"

Naruto was sure that had they had an appointment, the Hatake would still be in bed or who knows where, but certainly nowhere near the training grounds.

"I could ask the same of you."

"Course I am!" Naruto claimed, as though that was self-evident, which it actually wasn't, but how should Kakashi know? It's not like he's ever been early enough to know just how late he usually was. "Hey, are there any missions soo-" Naruto broke off, his jaw set tight and his eyes narrowed into slits, as he thought about everything he knew now since the night before last. No, _he_ would not be given a new mission. Not now with Akatsuki on the move again and that was something he just didn't understand.

Akatsuki have been a constant threat. Ever since he was 12 (and a half!) they knew that Akatsuki were after him and yet that had never kept them from sending him out. He had even done A-rank missions as he's only been half as strong as he currently was, so what was the matter now? Why had Tsunade backed down and let the council take over what was actually her job? Or had she stopped fighting for his cause, because she had at length come to share their opinion concerning him and his treatment?

"Forget it," Naruto groused and gazed to the side, avoiding the curious look in Kakashi's eye, lest he should see through him and read every thought running through his head – even with his normal eye.

"There are no new missions," Kakashi replied with a frown on his face, well aware of the change in Naruto's expression, but not only that; there seemed to be an alteration in his whole attitude. He somehow appeared more grown-up and less light-hearted than he still did a few days ago.

"That does not seem to surprise you?" the Jounin ventured a guess, trying to pry some answers out of him.

"Tze," Naruto scoffed and pressed his lips together, before his expression went blank as another idea invaded his mind.

Kakashi was his sensei for more than 7 years now. He wasn't all that reliable when it came to meeting appointments, but apart from that, the Hatake has never let him down – at least not when it mattered. Having Sasuke on his side was fine and all, but with Kakashi he'd have a strong and also influential ally- provided that Kakashi would act against the Hokage's orders, which were all about keeping him in the dark. And Kakashi definitely was a dutiful shinobi, but then wasn't it Kakashi himself who said that those who break the rules and codes of the ninja world are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are even lower than trash? He definitely should confide in him.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto started in a low voice and drew closer to the Hatake, the seriousness of his expression at once capturing his sensei's full attention. "Can you keep sec-"

He broke off as he saw an all too familiar person on the road behind Kakashi, coming their way with a smile on his face. Sai really had a talent for picking the worst possible timing to make an appearance, but then that was apparently his job… He looked curious enough and he was definitely watching them.

"Err… you know what – forget it." Naruto scratched his head, trying to appear casual as to not raise his sensei's suspicion, although it was a little too late for that. "I've gotta go. See you soon."

Naruto saluted and ran off, leaving a rather startled Kakashi behind, but it was probably better this way. This was his problem – no need to drag any more people into it than was absolutely necessary.

* * *

><p>It was well past 10:30 and still no sign of Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey.<p>

Just like every Monday, except when a mission was due, Team Gai had assembled at 10 o'clock precisely on their new training ground in the woods on the outskirts of Konoha. Tenten had been early, Lee had been way early and Neji had been dead on time, so the only one missing now was Maito Gai and quite frankly that almost had them worried. There has just been a single time he has been too late to a meeting and that was when Akatsuki had shown up within the village almost seven years ago. Usually Gai was just like Rock Lee and was an hour or two early for training, so what was different today?

Every single member of their team had a different way of passing the waiting time, but what they all had in common was that they were unnaturally quiet about it. Lee was doing some boxing and sit-ups – only things where he didn't need to strain his leg. Usually Tenten would have tried to talk him out of it, but she was too lost in thoughts for that. All she did was listlessly throw senbon at a wooden post with many marks on it without paying any attention to what she was doing. Of course not one missed. Neji, however, didn't even bother to hide his lethargy. In the shade of a huge larch, he sat with his eyes closed and his hands lightly folded in his lap, meditating, brooding or maybe just napping – it was impossible to tell at first sight. All he had said today was 'Where is Gai-sensei' which was really little, even for him.

"Four hundred…twenty…

Four hundred… twenty-one…

Four… hundred… twenty-two…"

Lee, the only one with enough motivation to make use of every single second of their training session, no matter if with or without sensei, was doing push-ups, while keeping his bad leg in the air. His forehead was already covered with sweat, gathering in one big drop at the tip of his nose and dripping down onto the dry earth, which was now speckled with dots of a darker colour. The months of absolute rest after his surgery had not proven beneficial for his physical condition and that although he had disregarded the strict regulations anyhow. He really couldn't afford to go easy on himself any longer…

"Fourhundredtwentythree – fourhundredtwentyfour-"

"I am truly sorry for my delay, please look into my eyes and find it in you to accept my most sincere apology!"

The booming voice of their sensei preceded the cloud of smoke, which appeared in their midst with a puff. The three shinobi followed with held breath how it slowly dissipated, but once it had cleared enough for them to have a good look at him, they noted with something between relief and disappointment that Gai apparently rejoiced in good health; there was no dirt on his green spandex, no bruises on his skin, not even a dishevelled hair. The reason for his delay can't have been related to any fights whatsoever.

Yes- Neji clearly was disappointed. Despite not looking like it, he was raring for a fight. Simple training just wouldn't do today. But the Jounin looked far too cheerful, highly unlikely that he would spread any bad news.

"Come gather around me, my dear students." Gai raised his arms invitingly and smiled at his students, two of whom looked rather sceptical, but nevertheless did as they were asked to. "We have some serious and most solemn issues to discuss."

_Serious and solemn?_

"Any ideas? Anyone? No?" Gai's small black eyes moved from one of the three to the next, but as he was only met by clueless expressions, he lowered his gaze with a smirk on his face, before he sighed, deciding he'd have to solve the riddle himself after all.

"Well then…" he started and took a step to the front, placing his hands on Neji's shoulders and looking down at him with a proud look on his face. Neji had the worst feeling about this… "Our Neji is gonna take a big step in a man's life."

_No way – someone please shoot me._

"I am sure I speak in behalf of all of us when I congratulate you to your marriage."

"_Huh?"_

A mutual jolt went through all three of his students, but while Lee and Tenten were mainly shocked about the contents of their sensei's words, Neji was shocked about the how's and why's. Just how did he know – why did he know? He hadn't told anyone about it – except for Sayuri and he couldn't imagine she would tell anyone after he had asked her not to – especially not someone like Sensei Gai. So how the hell did he know and what had he done to deserve it coming into the open like this? Why did it have to come into the open at all? As long as no one had known about it, Neji had still indulged in denial, but now that they all knew it was real. Gai made it real.

"I think it is most appropriate to cancel today's training session and go to a teahouse to celebrate the momentous occasion," Gai proposed. Actually this would have called for sake, but with Lee in their team that wasn't advisable. Tea would have to do.

As the initial shock slowly faded, Neji pulled his shoulders back from under his sensei's hands and took a step back and this gesture was more telling than anything he could have said. With Neji being one of his more quiet students, Gai didn't know much about his private life, not as much as he, as his sensei, should know, so despite having been surprised by the news, he hadn't thought it altogether improbable that Neji had found a person he wanted to share the rest of his life with. His reaction just now, however, told him that this has most definitely not been a choice Neji made himself. This was not going to be a love marriage and he would like to kick himself right now for not even having taken that into consideration beforehand.

Gai almost regretted having proposed to go and celebrate it.

"You're getting married? Why didn't you say anything?" Lee asked, wide-eyed. They were a team, after all, and in the last years they – the dropout and the genius – had come to accept one another; had even become friends, he'd say, and still Neji hadn't told him something as significant as this? He hadn't even introduced or mentioned her to them – what's up with that?

"Well… then let us go!" Gai exclaimed, trying to maintain his former level of exuberance, but it was hard not to let his discomfort concerning his own lack of tact leak through. However, cancelling the whole thing wouldn't make things better, though maybe he should reconsider going to a tavern after all.

"Yes! Gai-sensei!" Lee piped up, agreeing in behalf of all of them or so he thought, although the other two remained suspiciously quiet. Even so, Neji did not hesitate to follow their teacher and so Lee gave no more thought to the matter either and followed after him as well, using the time to shower Neji with a mix of congratulations, accusations and various exclamations of disbelief. He did not notice how Tenten stood rooted in place, as she watched the unreachable Hyûga take yet another step away from her.

* * *

><p>When it used to be a lack of sleep which troubled her, it was now an abundance of it, which left Sayuri feel almost the same way; headache, dizziness, fatigue and all. And not only that – just like yesterday something felt funny about her head and her stomach felt somewhat queasy? As though she hadn't suffered enough yesterday…<p>

With a sigh she rolled around, but kept the blanket tightly wrapped around herself, almost like a cocoon, as her tired eyes sought the clock. She had no idea how late it was, but she knew it was late. Sasuke, not a late riser, but not as extreme about it as she usually was, had already gotten up and she couldn't hear Mikan screaming, so Sasuke must have taken care of him instead of waking her to do so. It happened rarely enough, so theoretically she could just make use of the situation and keep lying in bed, have a lazy morning. However as she finally made out that it was almost twelve o'clock and that she had accordingly wasted half the day already, she came to the decision that just lazing about was a luxury she shouldn't indulge in right now. Hard to believe that she was usually on her feet since 7 hours already!

She threw back the covers, as to not end up rolling from side to side again and deciding to delay getting up after all. She stretched her arms over her head, not bothering to smother the big yawn that escaped her lips. Twelve o'clock and she felt as though she had closed her eyes not even five minutes ago. Sleeping in left her feel far more tired and drained than getting up early. She really didn't know how some people could actually enjoy this…

With slumped shoulders and her eyes still more closed than open, Sayuri made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth and splash a good load of cold water into her face. Not that it helped. Fighting the urge to just crawl back into bed and surrender to laziness, she decided to search for her two men and see how they were doing. When she entered the kitchen, she was surprised to find three men there.

"Suigetsu?"

Coming to a halt in the doorframe, she frowned at the unannounced visitor, while tugging at the legs of her pyjama shorts, which really lived up to their name and that fact didn't seem to have escaped the Houzuki. She didn't like the way his eyes were moving up and down her legs.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Suigetsu grinned, while Sayuri merely nodded, before her eyes switched to the kitchen table where Sasuke was sitting with Mikan in his arms, countering her confused look with a blank one of his own.

"What is _he_ doing here?"

"What do I know?" Sasuke shrugged and gave Mikan another rice cracker, after having dipped it into milk, so his son would eat it. She was sure that only a week ago, he would have never gotten that idea. What a quick learner he was…

"_He_ has ears and _he_ is hungry," Suigetsu grumbled. "Make me breakfast woman!"

He didn't expect a serious answer to that, did he?

"There's the tap, go help yourself," Sayuri retorted and began rubbing her temples in slow circles, choosing to just ignore that last remark. Bad enough how the day had started in the first place, she didn't need Suigetsu to exacerbate it even further, though there was no doubt that that was exactly what he'd do.

"Ha—ha. Grumpy, aren't we?"

"Me? Never," she droned sarcastically and decided to concentrate on the positive aspects of this morning to help lift her mood. So she walked around the table and sat down next to Sasuke, pressing a big kiss on her son's head, since the rest of his face was full of crumbs, before she did the same with Sasuke, although there were no crumbs on his face, as far as she could tell.

"Have you had a nice day with your daddy?"

"Heh," Mikan laughed, while most of his half-chewed food dropped out of his mouth and landed on his bib, from where he picked it up and stuffed it back in.

"When did you get up?" Still with a smile on her face, Sayuri averted her eyes from her son, to look at her boyfriend.

"Eight," he said simply, startling Sayuri quite a bit.

Eight o'clock? He only got up at eight o'clock and still everything seemed perfectly fine, so why was it that she got up three hours earlier than that? Maybe he really was right. It obviously hadn't harmed their son to wait a little. But then if she were honest to herself, she'd know that Mikan wasn't the reason for her sleeping habits. Not really…

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"There was no need to."

"…"

He had probably meant to do her a favour by letting her sleep and taking over her duties, but all Sayuri heard was I- no, _we_ don't need you. At first they left Mikan in someone else's care and it seemed to have worked out fine and now Sasuke just replaced her and there didn't seem to have been any problems either.

She was perfectly exchangeable.

"Did you have breakfast – or lunch – already?" she asked, her voice a little subdued, while she used Mikan's bib to wipe some of the crumbs from his face.

"No! That's why I'm here! Sheesh…" Suigetsu cut in and hopped onto the kitchen counter he had been leaning against.

"…" Sayuri merely raised an eyebrow at him, before she turned her attention back to Sasuke, waiting for his answer.

"I did," he finally replied, though he, too, seemed rather startled or maybe just annoyed by Suigetsu's behaviour.

"My stomach is growling and my fridge is empty."

"Then why didn't you go and buy something instead of coming here?"

"Ah… your fridge is closer," he grinned and winked at the two owners of the house with the constantly full fridge in it. "So what's on the menu today?"

He had to be kidding! Knowing him though made it pretty easy to tell that he really was serious about his blunt _requests_ – that's just how he was, but even so Sayuri couldn't keep her eyebrow from twitching in irritation. He was just too much to deal with so early in the morning. But at least he was someone who needed her – even if only as a servant…

"What do you want then?" she moaned and got up, watching the Houzuki with a frown and her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Surprise me," he grinned, slowly but surely making Sayuri's blood boil, but she tried hard to stay calm and opened the fridge, pulling out two pots with yesterday's dinner. They both hadn't felt all that well yesterday, so they hadn't eaten too much, which is why there was enough left for today. And now she kindly decided to share it with Suigetsu, or at least a bit of it.

"Do you want… plain soba?" She opened the lid of the first pot and peered into it, before she turned to the second one. "Or do you want sou-"

The metallic lid dropped out of her hand and landed with an awfully noisy clang on the counter. So loud that it at once drew everyone's attention to her, but she didn't care. Her only thought was: _sink_. And in a blur of seconds she already stood in front of the sink as a good load of her stomach contents came pouring out of her mouth, followed by a round of dry heaves as the sickness had by no means passed yet, but there just wasn't anything left in her stomach to come out.

"Yuck – watch out where you're spewing!" Suigetsu leapt off the counter, but despite his apparent disgust, he watched the heaving girl with great interest, but Sayuri paid him no heed. Too busy was she with searching for a reason for her sudden sickness. She hadn't felt well since waking up, but not _this_ bad, but the moment she had opened the lid of the second pot, the admittedly rather strong but not bad smell of the soup had washed over her and here she stood now, puking her guts out and Suigetsu was right there to see her. Not for the first time. This really sucked.

Trembling all over, she stood with her head bowed above the sink, her fingers holding on to the edge of the counter for dear life and although she still felt sick, she was sure it was over. Hoped it was over.

"God…" she groaned and rinsed her mouth with cold water, before she began cleaning the sink, still shaking like a leaf in autumn wind.

"What's wrong?" Sasuke asked, a hint of concern audible in his husky voice, while his face remained blank.

"I don't know," She shrugged. "I smelled at the soup and then…"

"You're not wasting any time, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" Sayuri glared through the veil of her dishevelled hair at the Houzuki, still wondering why he was here anyway. Just how come he was always there when she had to throw up or wore her pyjama or anything else she didn't want him to see?

"Just sayin'…" He shrugged and Sayuri couldn't help disliking the mischievous look on his face; there was definitely more to come. "Oh, remember your promise?"

"_Promise_?"

"This time I'll choose the name and become godfather – Naruto can have the old one."

"Wha-" The word died on her tongue, as she realised what he was talking about and she at once spun around, giving Sasuke a wide-eyed look of terror. The Uchiha still looked blank, though this time in a way that made you assume he had just suffered a stroke. Right now his mind had to be as empty as his face, as he, too, caught the meaning of Suigetsu's words.

"N-no…" Sayuri stammered, trying her damnest not to think these thoughts to an end, but they didn't like to be ignored.

When was the last time Suigetsu saw her get rid of her stomach contents in this absolutely undignified way? During her pregnancy! But that didn't have to mean anything… right…? It was just this one time and maybe Suigetsu wasn't merely a witness but the cause for her sickness – he was just too much to deal with right after getting up. That's all there was to it… … … although she had often felt queasy lately. Queasy and sleepy and she had been alternating between having absolutely no appetite and having a ravenous hunger. What if she really was… preg-

-That thought alone made her hurl all over again.

This couldn't be happening.

* * *

><p>So many things were happening at the moment, exclusively of a bad kind it seemed, it required a great deal of self-deception not to see the intention behind them. When at the beginning of the week, they had still been left in the dark about what exactly was happening now and for what reason, now the single pieces of the puzzle were beginning to fall into place and Tsunade didn't like the gloomy image they constituted.<p>

It all started with the news about the missing people, which could now almost certainly be related to Kabuto – an unreadable actor in the general scheme of things with obscure motives and the worst possible timing. No one knew where he's been these past years, what he's been doing the whole time, where he came from or what he was up to. He just didn't fit anywhere, like a phantom almost, and yet Tsunade was convinced that his sudden appearance was in some way linked to the other things occurring at the moment. That would, for example, be the rumour about Akatsuki being on the move again, which could be classified as a fact since yesterday night. Though there was no solid evidence, no witnesses, no nothing, it could still be assumed that the disappearance of the Three-Tailed Giant Turtle was Akatsuki's doing. They were resuming their hunt for the Tailed Beasts.

She was glad that this hadn't happened as it was their turn to guard the lake, the last free Bijû was or has been living in – not only because of having to take the responsibility for one's failure, but rather because none of the guards survived. The cause of their death was currently unknown and Tsunade doubted they would get the report of the autopsy, seeing as they haven't been ninja of their village. Even at times like these, no one seemed to trust anyone else.

The latest news was no less disturbing and just as hard to understand. After Konoha's almost-destruction last year, they had stayed in close contact to Konan, the new leader of Ame Gakure. This connection has been treated as a secret, since people would have likely objected to any affiliation with a former Akatsuki – especially one who played a considerable role on the day that almost erased the existence of the Leaf Village and all its inhabitants. As the Hokage, however, Tsunade had set aside all personal feelings and concentrated on the advantages such an alliance brought with it. After all no one has ever left Akatsuki before, none of the original members at least, so Konan most definitely possessed a great deal of insight, which might prove beneficial for them, especially in view of the current state of affairs. After having heard nothing of her in quite a while, Tsunade sent out a team of ANBU to assess the situation and this morning they returned with yet another piece of bad news in tow.

Konan was dead and Nagato's corpse was missing.

If that didn't scream Akatsuki, then she didn't know what did. Although she couldn't get close to understand their motivation for this deed. It appeared sound enough to kill Konan for her betrayal, but why did they steal Nagato's corpse? Her first thought had been because of the Rinnegan, but what could they possibly want with it and why did they wait a full year before retrieving it?

So many questions…

No wonder Tsunade ate aspirin like candies.

"There's no way around it," Tsunade murmured, as Shizune entered her office, though her assistant wasn't sure if she was actually being addressed. "We have to make the news known. People have a right to know what's going on."

"But the council has vehemently spoken against that," Shizune reminded her. "Once Naruto gets wind of what is going on, he will walk right into the trap. There won't be any holding back for him. You know that better than anyone else."

"Tsk, that stubborn brat," the Godaime hissed and glared to the side, as though Naruto was actually standing there. "But we can no longer wait to see what happens next – we finally have to do something!"

"I know," Shizune nodded and took a step closer to her teacher's desk, before slowly, almost solemnly, placing a scroll in its midst. "It seems like you are not the only one who feels that way."

"Huh?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow at her student, but receiving no further explanation, she reached for the scroll and skimmed through it, her amber eyes widening a little more after every line she read. "Oh…! That is unexpected…"

* * *

><p>It was a rather pleasant day. Not as hot as the past ones and the air felt somewhat lighter too, as though the invisible jar, which must have hung above the village, had finally been lifted a little to let some fresh wind in. It was either that or more simply the fact that summer's days were counted, seeing as it was July already and summers in the Land of Fire usually started early and ended early. Most of the trees were already flaunting their golden autumn dress and when the sun was setting it looked like it would melt and cover the village in pure gold. Somehow it always reminded her of a forge, though Sakura had only seen the insides of one at a single time in her life.<p>

It was still early though and so Sakura had no chance to get to the bottom of her sentiments. It's not like it was a thing of importance anyhow. Just a stupid game she once invented in order to kill time. Whenever she was bored, she tried to find associations to the things around her, like that huge oak up ahead of her, which looked exactly like the oak that used to stand behind her kindergarten and which had a hole she used to swap secret messages with a friend of hers, like a natural mailbox. Or that dango-stall reminded her of a matchbox and that boy sitting there under the tree looked a lot like-

-no, that boy _was_ Sai.

Sakura came to a halt in the middle of the lawn and stared at her least-liked team-mate, as he sat there in the shade of her mailbox oak and unless he wasn't in the process of attacking any of the people, visiting the park, with his ink beasts, then he had actually come here to draw. Almost like… someone _normal_. Sakura inevitably thought back of the festival and Sai's (admittedly failed) attempts at socialising. Maybe he had really been serious about that… Maybe he wasn't all that bad…

After taking a deep breath, Sakura vanquished her aversion to be anywhere remotely close to the ANBU and approached him.

_This is your second chance, Sai. You better not mess up._

"Hey Sai, what are you doing here?" she asked in a soft, completely impartial voice, and put on a friendly smile for good measure.

"Sakura-san." Sai looked up from his drawing, giving the pinkette an unreadable look.

"Can I see it?"

"Eh… yes… Sure." He nodded and turned his picture around so Sakura could have a look at it.

"Oh." She frowned and knelt down in front of him. "I thought you'd be drawing a landscape, since you are sitting here, but you're not. It's more abstract."

She didn't know all that much about art; about colours, shading, composition and what have you, but still there was something about this picture, something about the swirls and waves and the interaction of light and dark that spoke to her, something that made it appear as though it was in motion. Despite knowing that Sai's jutsu were based on his art, it nevertheless surprised Sakura to see how talented he was and when even a philistine like her realised so, he had to be _really_ good.

"I would have never thought you had such a side about you."

"Side?"

"Uh-huh, you know, it's said that artists have sensitive souls."

And it was no secret that Sai was anything but sensitive. Exceptions indeed prove the rule.

"I don't know that one."

"Nevermind, it's just a stupid saying." Sakura shrugged and was suddenly overcome by the realisation that this was the first time she felt at ease with him around. It wasn't exactly a rarity for people to display different behaviour when they were in a group or alone, as though they had two faces and yet somehow she had never even considered Sai to be this way, too. He had always appeared too shallow for a complex personality. Maybe it really were the books that had brought upon this change. Maybe it was even lasting.

"I'm sorry, I never heard that before."

"No need to be sorry," Sakura smiled, for real this time. She most definitely liked this Sai better than the old one. He almost seemed shy. "Uhm what is this?"

She pointed at a small book, lying on top of Sai's bag. There was a picture of a young boy on its cover and on second sight, Sakura realised that it was not printed but drawn.

"Oh, that…" Sai reached for the small picture book and the Haruno was sure that his charcoal eyes filled with something akin to warmth as he looked at it.

"Did you draw that yourself?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Wow…" she said, genuinely awed. "Can I maybe look through it?"

"I'm afraid you can't." He shook his head slowly. "It isn't finished yet."

"Then why don't you do so?"

"I wouldn't know how…" he said thoughtfully, never lifting his eyes off the small book. "Anyway, I don't give it to other people because it's my brother's. I'm sorry."

_He has a brother?_

"Nevermind, Sai. I've got to go now." She rose to her feet and brushed the dust off her knees. "It was nice talking to you. So long." She offered a warm smile and took off, her words and her gesture leaving the ANBU rather startled.

It was nice? But he barely did anything… Was she serious or had she applied something like _sarcasm_? He hoped not, because that was something he still hadn't figured out.

Still with a pensive face, Sai looked down at the picture book he had drawn for his brother all these years ago. He never finished it in time and he wondered how he could have forgotten what he meant to draw on the last page. It had been so important to him, _that_ he did remember.

All these thoughts left him with an indefinable feeling; something was stirring deep down within his stomach, something not altogether unfamiliar, maybe a remnant of a past life? He couldn't tell, but whatever it was, this _feeling_, he tried hard to quench it, because he wasn't supposed to feel anything.

* * *

><p>"I suppose you won't eat that?" Suigetsu ventured a guess and pointed at the soup that had triggered Sayuri's descent into despair.<p>

She couldn't be pregnant. It was impossible. They were using contraceptives after all, so it was absolutely impossible. But then with Mikan it shouldn't have been possible either, unless…

_Let's have another baby._

Her eyes widened considerably, her pupils mere pinpoints as she remembered the night before her exam, the night Sasuke-

"What did you do?"

She spun around to face Sasuke, her face a mixture of disbelief and accusation. It made it easy for Sasuke to figure out what she was talking about.

"Suigetsu, leave us alone," Sasuke said, his eyes making clear that he would not repeat himself.

"Sheesh – so serious… shouldn't you be celebrating?" He looked from one of them to the other, but they pointedly ignored him, their eyes remaining intently fixed on one another. "Oh well… you don't mind if I take that with me, do you?"

"Get out already!" Sayuri hissed, her voice trembling with either shock or anger.

"Beware the mood swings. You're really not to be envied, Sasuke," he chuckled and took both pots in his arms, before starting for the door. "I'm off. See you soon… I hope."

He winked at Sasuke and left and once he was gone, Sasuke put Mikan in his high chair and left him to eat his crackers alone, already preparing himself for a long argument, because she looked really pissed.

"This is so great… A few days ago you talked about having another baby and wanted me to stop taking the pill and now here I am puking. What the hell did you do?"

"You think I touched your pills?" he hissed, his reproving glare almost cutting her in two, but she wouldn't back down. Not yet, anyway. But did she really think he did? Sasuke wanted another baby, no doubt about that, but would he actually sink so low as to mess with her pills, force a baby on her against her will?

"No…" she sighed, her body becoming slack, as though every bit of tension had escaped her with the exhaled breath.

Sasuke wouldn't do that. There was no need for him to do so. He was so full of himself; she couldn't imagine he'd even think it necessary to resort to such dirty tricks. If he really – _really_ – wanted to, he could almost certainly make her change her mind, because he was well aware that she (unfortunately) couldn't say no to him. At least not if he kept pressing on. And she was glad that he hadn't done so. No, Uchiha Sasuke would not do something like this.

"I just don't know what to think…" She lowered her head and ran a hand through her hair, making no secret of her desperation. "This shouldn't be happening – this shouldn't even be _possible_."

"You only threw up. That doesn't have to mean anything."

"It's not just that." She shook her head and finally dared to leave her place at the sink to sit down at the head of the table. "I puked, I feel warm all the time-"

"-it's summer, of course you feel warm," he interrupted her, but Sayuri just carried on counting off her symptoms at her fingers.

"I often feel sick right after getting up and I'm always tired and I'm so moody, am I not?"

"You've had some tough weeks," he said, "and all of this is probably a consequence of your binge drinking."

"A hangover?" She frowned. "I've had a hangover yesterday and then I didn't puke, so why now?"

"…" He shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his chest, while Sayuri rested her forehead on the table and buried her fingers in her hair. With her eyes closed, she tried not to think about anything at all; she just needed that moment to calm down.

"You're not gonna start crying now, are you?" Sasuke asked, his voice laced with something like worn out annoyance. Not only did he not believe that she was pregnant, but then even if she were that was no reason to start crying. Other women would be happy to have his child.

"No," she groaned, the word muffled by the table. Sighing, she used her hands to push herself up from the table and rose to her feet. A little unsteadily she stood there, as her (hungover or pregnant?) body was apparently not up to such a quick movement.

"I'll go and get a pregnancy test."

"You're overdoing it." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're _not_ pregnant."

He wished she were, but he couldn't imagine it. Alone her willpower should have sufficed to keep this from happening and after the night before last, whatever might have grown inside her would have drowned in alcohol. That thought would probably anger him, if he weren't absolutely sure that there has been nothing to begin with.

"Really, Sasuke?" she asked dryly. "What are you? A gynaecologist? -_See_?" she interrupted herself, before Sasuke even had a chance to respond. "I'm usually not that snappy, am I?"

"You're upset."

"You bet I'm upset! I swear if that thing is positive I'll never sleep with you again."

Seriously, why did she even bother to use contraceptives when they apparently didn't work?

"As if," Sasuke snorted, thinking back of something Shikamaru once said: _upset women can't be taken seriously_. Or was it women in general? He really was a wise man.

"I mean it," she insisted nevertheless, receiving a cold glare from Sasuke, but she ignored that. "I'm off."

"Like this?" he frowned and nodded at her pyjama. "You didn't even have breakfast. Why are you in such a hurry?"

"I don't want to take any risks."

"_Risks_? Even if you are pregnant then the test won't change anything about that."

"B-but…"

He just didn't see it. It's not like she wanted to do this test, because once she did, she'd have the certainty and then she would have no choice but to live with it. Somehow knowing it would make it real and just now she didn't want it to be real. Wasn't ready for it to be real. However, the one thing that was worse than being certain she was pregnant was the uncertainty whether she was pregnant or not. She couldn't wait.

"I have to know," she shook her head and started for the door. "I'll be right back."

* * *

><p><em>The dreary sky was flocked with seagulls, now that they were close to the shore. They walked side by side, in their usual silence, the tall man walking like the bear he resembled, making everyone think twice before crossing his path and the small girl walking in her far too big clothes that if at all took a few years from her, rather than adding any.<em>

_She didn't think about how she'd see the ocean for the very first time in her life; it was a different sort of salt water that occupied her thoughts._

_All she could think of was how she hasn't shed a single tear since the funeral. Not because she forbad herself to cry. She just wasn't able to. She missed them, perhaps, but she didn't feel sad. She didn't feel much of anything at the moment. _

_There was nothing this life held for her any longer and yet she couldn't get herself to end it – at least no more than it had ended already. It was her responsibility to stay alive. Her family, her included, had fought in order to defend their pride, had fought with the intention of coming out of the war when their enemies didn't. The least she could do was stay alive and remember their sacrifice. Perhaps the knowledge hurt, but she felt too numb to tell for sure._

_The only thing she was sure of was that she despised this man she used to regard as her uncle, when he was probably just a random stranger who had claimed that title for himself._

_Maybe because he hasn't shown a sign of grief as their family died. _

_Maybe because of the leading role he played during the war._

_Maybe because this cruel, bad man was alive, when so many others she loved, so many who'd have deserved to live so much more than him had perished. _

_That was also why she had come to hate herself and everything she stood for._

_Still she followed him, because although she hated him more than anything, more than she would have thought herself capable of, he was all she had and she was stuck with him. And without him, what reason would she have to live? All by herself, all for herself? She wouldn't even know where to go to, because there was no one waiting for her and he wouldn't let her go, even if she tried, so where was the point in doing anything? She had long gotten past the point of taking actions that wouldn't lead anywhere._

_In the end, she was nothing but a small girl and although she didn't like to admit it, she needed someone._

…

…


	13. Losing touch

**13. Losing touch**

Sometimes having certainty, even if it turned out the way you wanted it to, is not enough to make you take it for what it was: a fact. For had she not spent the last days (including the current one) feeling sick? Had she not even been sick? Sick, sleepy, moody and all the rest? Had she only imagined all the symptoms?

The pregnancy test turned out negative and she couldn't even put into words what she had felt as the second red line had failed to appear! She has been in best spirits all day, but in the course of a sleepless night, the first doubts had slowly crept up, no matter how hard she had tried to hold on to the previous sense of relief.

It had only been a cheap home test. The cheapest there was, because in her panic-induced hurry to leave the house, she had failed to check on her wallet and it has very nearly been empty. Did the cheap ones work as well as the expensive ones? And what if it had just been too early? They didn't work properly when you took them too early, so here she was back to being uncertain.

No, these thoughts had not allowed for a single second of sleep tonight.

Apparently, Sasuke has not had any trouble with that (or maybe he was just good at pretending), but he definitely hasn't shared her enthusiasm about the negative result. He didn't let it show much, but still she had a feeling that he was more distant. When two people want different things, one is bound to be disappointed and in this case it was Sasuke. Sasuke who had again taken off to train, though he rarely did so in the morning. It left Sayuri wonder if he had to let off some steam; he hadn't spoken much since then in any case…

It was almost one o'clock, so she expected him home soon. Standing in the kitchen, Sayuri was determined to test herself, by preparing ramen, including all sorts of spices, herbs, onions – just a lot of smelly things and though she did feel kind of queasy (or maybe she only imagined that) it was nothing like yesterday. She would not be sick again. Maybe she really did worry too much. It was funny how Sasuke, despite wanting a baby, had been sure from the start that she wasn't pregnant, whereas she, who did not want another baby, was almost convinced, even after the negative test, that she was pregnant. That just made it easier to deal with the situation. If she was not pregnant –great – but if she should be pregnant after all, she had at least seen it coming. Whatever happened, she was prepared.

"Look a bird," Sayuri said to the small boy in her arms and pointed at the window above the stove, at a small brown finch with two white wing-bars. "What does a bird say?"

_What indeed…?_

"Err… what does a cow say?" She tickled Mikan's chin, delighted by the laugh he gave her. "Moo… Say moo…"

"Muu," he repeated and clapped his hands, celebrating his success, while Sayuri pressed a big kiss on his head, beaming with pride.

"Yes, moo – and what about a pig?" She raised an eyebrow in a challenging manner and had to suppress a smirk about the concentrated expression on his face. "What does a pig say? Quack-quack? Or oink-oink?" she asked and rubbed her nose against his.

"Heh." He only laughed and hid his nose in his hands, before she could steal it, while Sayuri couldn't help grinning and turned the stove off, the very moment the door opened.

"Hi," she smiled at Sasuke, though her expression remained guarded as she attempted to analyse his. "Perfect timing, lunch is about ready."

"Ramen?" he groaned after having peered into the pot. Actually he wasn't picky when it came to his food, but ramen really wasn't his favourite. Although that might have less to do with the actual taste than the fact that he knew a person who spoke of nothing else day in day out – so his aversion was probably a matter of principle.

"Felt like it." She shrugged and put Mikan into his high-chair, before she set the table for them.

"Can you look after him later?" Sayuri asked, as she tried to feed their son his pureed soup, which he didn't really seem interested in though. His head was always turning around to the window, still searching for the bird, probably.

"Why?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed and unlike his son he was almost done with his soup already.

"I want to go to the hospital and take a real pregnancy test. Just to be sure…"

"Tze – you already took a test and it said you are not pregnant –what more do you want?" he hissed, his eyes so cold, they almost made her shiver. It was definitely not just her imagination, Sasuke was much more distant. At first she had just thought he had been disappointed by the result, but now she had a feeling he was hurt by her reaction. She really should be a little more tactful than to constantly rub it in that she didn't want another baby with him.

"That was just a cheap home test – who knows how reliable it is?"

"If it wasn't reliable, they wouldn't sell it."

"Oh, whatever." Sayuri shrugged him off. She was tired and anxious and really didn't feel like engaging in any fruitless debates now. "Can you look after him now or not?"

"No."

"_No_?"

"No." He shook his head. "I have appointments with a few architects this afternoon."

"I won't be long, an hour or two at the most," she pleaded with him, before another thought ran through her head and caused a wry smirk to manifest on her lips. "In case I don't come back I'm probably somewhere in the supermarket and drown myself in orange juice."

_Orange juice_ – her favourite drink during her last pregnancy. She hadn't touched that devil's brew since then.

"Tze, just see that you make it; you can still drown yourself afterwards."

* * *

><p>"Hokage-sama?"<p>

Hesitantly, he opened the door after having received no response to his repeated knocking and that although the noise within the office had been impossible to miss and his trained senses made it easy for him to tell that there was no one else in the room, but the woman he meant to call upon. Still that did not justify his bold entrance, but then his concern was important.

"What?" The blonde woman barked and looked up from the huge pile on her desk, which was made up of probably every single item there was in her office. A gush of wind and it would collapse like a house of cards.

"Neji?" Her expression softened a little, as the initial irritation yielded to confusion. "What brings you here?"

"I am here to ask for a promotion to the Special Assassination and Tactical Squad."

It has been a hard decision. Despite everything, it wasn't easy for Neji to leave his team, the members of which had been more of a family to him than his actual family ever had. But there was only a limited range of choices in life, sacrifices were inevitable and this was the choice Neji had to make and the sacrifice he would have to bear. It's not like he would never see them again, although things would never quite be the same, there was no point in deluding himself. Still, joining the ANBU seemed like the only option of this time and place.

"The ANBU?"

He would willingly leave his team and expected her consent to the disruption of one of the most efficient teams there was in the Hidden Leaf? No doubt that Neji had the potential and he would definitely be an enrichment for the ANBU Black Ops, but there were more than enough skilled individual fighters in the Leaf Village but a much lesser number of skilled team fighters. Besides, she could hardly imagine that this was what Neji really wanted.

"I-I don't have time for this now!" Tsunade shook her head, as if to shake off her current train of thoughts and resumed sorting through the things, she had piled up on her table. "Can't you see that I'm busy?"

"But Hokage-sama, I-"

"-No, Neji." Tsunade slammed her flat hand on the table, at length bringing the tower to fall, but she didn't even blink. She'd like to tell him that by joining the ANBU he couldn't escape his marriage, but thought better of it. It was really none of her business after all. "There are more important things happening at the moment. I will think about it. Now leave."

"Hm." Neji nodded, barely able to hide his disappointment about being put off like this. But he would not argue any further. If there was one stubborn person in the village, then it was Tsunade. He would not – could not – make her change her mind, that he was sure of and so he obediently turned to the door and was just about to leave, when Tsunade held him back after all.

"Wait," the blonde raised her voice and got up, taking the Hyûga in the focus of her sharp, amber eyes. "I have a mission for you after all. Not an ANBU mission, but it is of greatest importance."

"…" That caught Neji's attention, she could see it in the flicker that flashed through his eyes at the mentioning of an occupation. It again assured her that this really wasn't about the ANBU – all he wanted was a means to escape.

"Go and find Hatake Kakashi and bring him here immediately. I already sent someone but he is nowhere to be found."

"A search mission?"

That was kind of a let-down, but it was better than nothing.

* * *

><p>The one thing most characteristic about hospitals is their smell. The terrible mixture of disinfectants, cleaning solutions, rubber and iodine, which barely managed to cover up the even worse smells of disease and decline and instead existed alongside them, creating a revolting atmosphere. How come she had never noticed that before? Or has the old hospital been different?<p>

Sayuri has been working in this or actually a similar place for multiple years and only now that she hasn't set foot in one of the endless white halls for several months did it occur to her just how terribly oppressive – sickening really – the atmosphere of this place with all its polished surfaces, the artificial light and the humming of the ventilating system really was. And that when the last thing the people here needed was something that made them sick – at least more than they were anyhow.

Sayuri was not sick, at least not in the actual sense of the word, and yet that's how she felt as the tension and trepidation affected her state of mind, making her tremble as she sat here on the bench in the empty corridor, waiting for the result of her blood test. She had no idea what took them so long. It was just a simple blood test and yet she was waiting here already since one full hour. Sasuke would be so mad-

-_unless_ the result turned out to his liking. He probably wouldn't waste a single word on her delay if she came home with a tear-stained face and a baby-filled belly. Oh yes, he'd forgive her everything then – even the most ridiculous (and most likely unsuccessful) suicide attempt there has ever been in the history of mankind. And she actually named her son after that dreadful fruit, she mainly connected with negative memories – same as the rest of her pregnancy. It was safe to say it were some of the worst months in her life. But there has been a ray of light or two… Actually a pretty big one even…

'_I love you'_

It really hasn't been altogether bad. Or that moment after giving birth as she had first realised how cute her son actually was with his tiny fingers and his tiny toes (somewhat around the time she had stopped thinking of him as a gremlin). Having another baby wouldn't be all that bad, it's just the timing that was all wrong. Maybe she would give in to Sasuke and his wish for babies one day – no actually she was sure she would; Sasuke wouldn't keep backing down forever – but that wouldn't happen soon.

God, she hoped it wouldn't happen soon.

A sudden twitch went through Sayuri's body as she perceived the sound of an opening door, leading her to spin her head around at once, only to realise that the door she was waiting in front was still closed. With a sigh, she let her head fall back against the cold wall, her eyes trailing the many black holes on the otherwise white ceiling. She had tried counting them to pass the time, but nervous as she was, she always lost count and that ended up frustrating her all the more.

What was so hard about analysing a simple blood test? If there were other patients waiting here, then okay, but she was the only person in the entire corridor with its (to her) uncountable holes in the ceiling and the zero windows and the empty unupholstered benches – empty except for the one she was cowering on, drawn in on herself to be as tiny as she could be to make it easier to hold herself together. It wasn't hard to tell that she wanted to be anywhere but here right now.

She had never yet worked in this part of the hospital and the doctor was new, at least she had never yet seen her and she was almost glad about that – although, if it had been different, things might have passed faster than this. But this gave her at least a bit of privacy. It would have felt damn uncomfortable to go to a person you've been working with for years, thinking you were pregnant. _Again_.

"Sayuri?"

Her eyes snapped open at once, an agitated look flitting across her face.

_Caught_.

"Sakura?"

She slowly turned her head around to see her former team-mate, dressed in a white hospital gown, the surprise clearly visible in her face, so Sayuri tried her best to look as composed as she possibly could in the given situation.

Why did Sakura of all people have to see her here? But then that was better than if it had been Ino – Ino who wanted a baby more than anything…

"What are you doing here?" the Haruno asked and took a hesitant step closer to the violet-haired girl, assessing her closely. "You look pale – are you okay?"

"Yes." Sayuri nodded, forcing a smile on her face. "It's nothing. _Really_."

Even Sai's fake smiles were better than that one. Still, Sakura refrained from asking further questions. It was not only the code for I don't want to talk about it; Sakura rather thought it was a who-are-you-to-me-that-I-would-tell-you-anything? They used to be really good friends; like sisters almost. Sayuri had been her replacement for Ino as the fight over Sasuke had brought their friendship to an end, but in the last years they had grown apart – although it happened much more drastic than that and again Sasuke has been the trigger. She had always blamed Sayuri for that, she still did, and although they got along with each other again, they never did anything together without a third person, because it felt damn uncomfortable. They had nothing to say to each other, save for the usual small talk. It was nothing like it used to be, but she had to admit that she herself had done a considerable part to keep the situation from getting better. There was more to forgiveness then just saying it's okay and to this day she wasn't altogether sure it was. Had she ever forgiven her?

Maybe it was finally time for Sakura to come to terms with the past and take a step toward her former friend. This old story was nothing to her any more, she was no longer in love with Sasuke, nor did she resent Sayuri for having taken him away from her, when she's never had him to begin with, so why bother to hold any grudges?

"You know I-" Sakura started, but every further word remained stuck in her throat and wouldn't come out. She hadn't managed to swallow her pride just yet. That is why Sakura stirred the conversation into another direction with a resigning slump of the shoulder, "I- I hope you'll get well soon."

"Thank you," Sayuri nodded appreciatively, glad about the final tone that accompanied Sakura's words. She just hoped she wouldn't look at the door plate; she hoped there wouldn't be a need for her to _get well_.

"Sayuri-san?"

Finally the door opened and a small woman with dark curly hair stood in its frame, peering into the corridor through her thick-glassed spectacles. She had to be as blind as a mole. She looked a bit like one, too.

"Yes," Sayuri replied wide-eyed, jumping to her feet at once. So much to looking composed in front of Sakura.

"Come in, if you please."

"Yes." Sayuri nodded and took a deep breath, before slowly turning back to Sakura. "I've got to go."

"Me, too," the Haruno replied, averting her clear emerald eyes. Sayuri was sure now that she knew what kind of an office she was standing in front, but even so that didn't have to mean a thing. There were various reasons to go and see a gynaecologist – maybe she thought it was just a normal check-up or she thought she had a venereal disease… Maybe she thought nothing at all…

"See you around."

"Yeah, bye," Sakura said quietly and watched the dark-haired girl step into the office, before the door was slammed shut behind her, leaving Sakura outside alone, thinking about how she didn't know a thing about what was going on in Sayuri's life at the moment. She wished now she had picked up the courage to talk to her after all, but fact is she hadn't. It was hard to cross bridges you had previously burned.

* * *

><p>It would be easier if it were winter. When the days are short and the nights are long. When the streets are deserted because people shun the cold and all sight is obscured by fog or snow; by the way one had to squint one's eyes against the biting wind. It would be all that much easier if one could put on coat and cap and scarf and leave the house in the cover of dark.<p>

Summer didn't allow for stealth. The day was too bright in the first place. The untiring sun threw its light on every secret, leaving it clear for everyone to see. How Hinata longed for the concealing shroud of winter. Short as it was, the night had been unbearably long. A night without sleep, a day without respite, and only a limited number of minutes left until she would face the reason. The one person who managed to make her feel special and inadequate at the same time. The person because of whom she would not accept the latter. He was the reason why she wanted to prove – not only to him but also to herself – that she could do this, in spite of herself. In spite of everyone else… She would overcome all obstacles – no matter if of interior or exterior nature. This time she would not back down and run away again and she already had a plan to help her beat the odds. Beat her cowardice, her self-consciousness, her inability to just let herself go…

Sitting in her room on the rough tatami mats, Hinata stared at the bottle of sake she had stolen out of the kitchen cabinet downstairs. First a deep breath and then she pinched her nose shut and took a deep gulp. It didn't help; the taste was awful, searing a path down her throat, all the way into her stomach. Her face felt hot and her throat burned, but her head still felt far too clear, far too likely to go into panic mode when he only looked at her.

And so she took another gulp of liquid courage and prepared to sneak out.

* * *

><p>After having waited to be let into the office for almost an hour, Sayuri was out of it after no more than five minutes. She literally fled the hospital, and once outside, she inhaled so deeply, it made her head spin. But she welcomed every breath of fresh, non-sterile air. After all the excitement, she needed some time to calm down and think, but found herself incapable of focusing on the important things. All her mental processes were concentrated on taking in her surroundings, brief flicker of sensory impressions: drab grey pavement, the occasional chewing gum here and there, small plants of weed, meandering upwards between dust-covered bricks, a spider, climbing with a grotesque agility across dried crumbs of leaves, only barely escaping a certain death in the form of the underside of her shoe.<p>

She didn't even know where she was walking to. Birds were chirping away in the trees, a faint wind was blowing, barely stirring but a single leaf. The murmuring of a river sounded from out of the distance. Her feet carried her that way. It was easier than actually picking a destination…

The river she had already heard from afar flowed past her. It looked really pretty in the bright rays of the sun, all shiny somehow, as though there were flakes of silver suspended in the water. The air seemed a little fresher here. The faint breeze reminded her of the sea, even without the salt, but it was no less oppressive for that, although that might just be a matter of individual perception. Other people might find delight in the mild summer day. And what a nice place it was, too.

Though the white rabbit in the back of her mind kept chanting 'Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' she nevertheless sat down in the lush, ankle-high grass in the shade of a white-barked birch tree, the river beginning where her feet ended. The water was only shallow and so clear that she could see all the way down to the ground, where colourful pebbles lay scattered every which way and water plants were swaying to and fro with the current, as though engaged in a delirious dance. Soothing somehow. Far more agitated were the shadows of the leaves as they skipped across the rippling waves in a successive flicker from light to dark and back again, like there were diamonds on top of each wave.

She kept sitting there, watching the silver rays turn gold, copper maybe. Doing nothing, thinking nothing – at least judging from the quality of her mental products. A waste of a day, that's what it was, but going home wouldn't change that.

"Long time no see."

"Huh?" She blinked repeatedly, her blank eyes slowly becoming focused, as she turned her head towards the source of the voice and there on the gravel path he stood then. She quickly got up and approached the man, who almost appeared like a stranger to her – she really hasn't seen him for ages.

"Kakashi-sen-" She bit into her bottom lip and gazed to the side, before correcting herself, "Kakashi-san."

Habits were so hard to get rid of.

"You can still call me sensei."

It was the same as with parents. No matter what happened and how much time passed they would always regard their children as exactly that: children, same as he would always regard these children, he had seen grow up, as his students. Once their sensei always their sensei. It made no difference if one of his protégés withdrew from active duty because of having a child, or if one of them abandoned the village altogether. Memories were not to be uprooted that simply.

And so the Jounin gave his student a warm smile, despite his mask she could see that, but felt only little comfort about the gesture. It took more than a smile to get through the barrier of ice that was surrounding her this day.

"Do you contemplate returning to our team again?"

"It's not like you need me," she sighed and fought hard to keep the corners of her mouth from sinking down, the way her gaze was also drawn down. "You have Sai now."

"Sai…" he said slowly, "he's quite the troublesome guy, but he is very efficient."

More efficient than she could ever be.

Kakashi watched the girl before him closely, while she seemed determined to escape his scrutiny, before shrugging his shoulders. "But I bet you know all about that."

That she did.

"Hn," she snorted with a wry curl of the lips, reminding a lot of Sasuke at that moment.

"They would like to have you back to get rid of him."

"I doubt that will happen."

After all she knew about Sai's secret mission. He would not leave the team, just because she decided that her maternity leave had taken long enough. Besides, she also had some doubts about his statement. Naruto was probably the only one who really wanted her back. With Sakura she wasn't so sure about that, and Sasuke didn't want her back because that would mean she would leave home and expose herself to the dangers of the big, bad world.

"No, probably not," Kakashi agreed and focused his attention on the river, watching the reflection of the sun on the almost calm water surface. Merely a ball of fire now. The days definitely were becoming shorter.

"Though Sakura often is away on missions these days. You could fill in for her from time to time. Then you wouldn't be away from home too often and we'd have a medic with us."

"I'll think about it," she murmured, the words falling heavy from trembling lips and her gaze again fastened on the ground; still fastened on the ground. She couldn't look at him now. He only meant well, she knew that, but still she could barely concentrate on what he was saying. She felt a growing lump in her throat, when she should actually be happy. All was going just the way she wanted and here was her sensei, offering her a chance to finally get at least a little closer to her old life, without abandoning her new life in return, so why wasn't she happy?

"Sayuri? Are you okay?"

Of course it did not slip his attention and what was she supposed to answer now? Yes? No? I don't know? I wish I'd know? How come there was a question inherent in every answer she could think of? It didn't matter. These words were only for herself, of course she knew that there was only one answer to give to him.

"Y-yes, I'm fine," Sayuri nodded hastily, maybe a little too hastily and smiling a little too brightly to seem natural. "But I've got to go now, it's getting late."

"So do I," Kakashi sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Tsunade has probably gone out of her mind already."

"Her temper is nothing to take lightly. Maybe you should hurry," Sayuri advised, smiling a little easier now, at least until the whole irony occurred to her. Here she was giving advice she had better follow herself. The person waiting for her had probably gone out of his mind by now, too.

"Probably."

"I'm sorry for holding you up."

"You didn't hold me up," Kakashi said lightly, "I was already late even before I set out."

How come that didn't surprise her now?

"She probably expects as much – so long."

She raised her hand briefly and turned around to leave. In all this time she had not once looked into his eyes, and it left Kakashi wonder what was going on. All his students seemed to be hiding something. What happened to these young children who used to bother him with their every concern?

Had he lost his touch?

* * *

><p>With only a soft click, Sayuri pulled the door shut behind herself and leaned against the warm wall, listening into the silence permeating the dim corridor.<p>

Maybe he wasn't there. The house seemed quiet enough for that. There wasn't a single sound, not even the occasional creaking of the wood as it contracted, just nothing. She hoped it was nothing.

Standing there with her back to the wall, inhaling the heavy air, Sayuri did her best to think of what to say and do when facing a most definitely angry Sasuke, but her mind was an inextricable macramé of incertitude, her nerves so knotted together that they were incapable of transporting any messages past the nodes, leaving her cerebral processes lie idle, her head empty. It always seemed empty when it mattered.

She only felt numb. Numb and upset. How can you feel numb and upset at the same time? Or was she maybe so upset that her body wasn't able to register it any longer and reacted with numbness instead? She was odd enough for that and again she had wasted another full minute on doing absolutely nothing that might help her. She was really good when it came to self-sabotage.

Another deep breath of shallow air and then she finally slipped out of her shoes. The long-side of the corridor was facing south and was heated up by the sun almost all day. It didn't matter how often they opened the door or the windows, the air in here was always thick and stagnant, reminding of a vacuum at times or a long-forgotten burial chamber.

It did now.

If she didn't want to die of suffocation, she should really quit stalling, which is why she finally opened the door to the living room, being very hesitant at that and peered inside. There was no one there, but the shôji door at the other end of the room was wide open, belying the impression of the house being empty.

With a heavy sigh, Sayuri leant her shoulder against the doorframe, pondering if she should maybe tiptoe into the bedroom and hide in bed and when Sasuke found her then, she could tell him she has been there all along and had gone to bed because the doctor had told her to, since her haemogram had turned out so terrible, which wasn't even far-fetched. And of course she hasn't had the time to tell him she was back…

It didn't seem like much of a plan, but before Sayuri had a chance to make up her mind about whether to drop it or not (and had she been in her right mind that wouldn't have necessitated any thinking), she perceived a quiet but decisive harrumph right behind her. She cringed at once and pulled a grimace, the way you often do when you see other people get hurt in a really painful way, so much in fact that you can literally feel it yourself and right now she really did feel like someone had poured a bucket of ice cold water over her head.

_Caught_ – the second time this day, damn it…

Her shoulders sagged, as though she was bearing the weight of the world on them, as she slowly turned around, a mixture of shame and guilt spreading across her face.

"S-Sasuke-kun…" she stammered, her voice as brittle as dead leaves.

This was the completely wrong way of approaching the situation. She only ever called him that way if she either wanted something from him or if she had messed up. And he had to know that it was the latter this time. She had been selfish and irresponsible. Unreliable. He had needed her and she hasn't been there. Somehow she only realised so now as he stood there, all stern, like a grown-up giant almost, while she felt like a little, immature girl – she had definitely behaved like one.

How she hated it when he gave her that look.

"Didn't you say you'll be right back?" Sasuke finally broke the simmering silence, his cold glare bringing about arctic temperatures in the stifling corridor.

She couldn't even look at him.

"Sorry… lost track of time…"

"That's it? You lost track of time?" Sasuke repeated, his eyes narrowed angrily. He was getting angrier and angrier by the second.

"I'm really, really sorry," she mumbled, trying hard to breathe past the lump in her throat. That was a thing about Sasuke; he always managed to enhance her emotions somehow. When she was happy, she felt at least twice as good when he was there to share that moment with her and when she felt bad, especially when that was because she had wronged or disappointed him, it was just so much harder to keep herself from dissolving into tears when he was near.

But she would not cry now.

"You can always be sorry afterwards."

That was why he apologised so rarely. He was always in control of his actions and really meant what he did. Except for when he was impulsive or in a frenzy and almost entirely out of his mind – though this behaviour was always triggered by certain persons and he had managed to reduce their numbers drastically in the past years.

"…" She only nodded guiltily, deciding it would be best to just get it over with and let his anger wash over her. It's not like there was anything else she could do. There was no point defending herself, since she knew she had done wrong.

"So?"

"Huh?"

She acted like she had no idea what he wanted, to buy some time, but how could she not know? Her retard had angered him, but it must have also filled him with hope…

"I take it you did go to the hospital," he said, the reproaching tone in his voice making clear that he apparently did think it possible that she had just taken the day off.

"I did," she replied quickly, before carrying on in a more subdued tone, "I'm anaemic."

That one silenced him for a moment, but his anger did not seem to have deflated yet.

"That's not what I meant." He rolled his eyes. "Are you pregnant or not?"

Despite expecting this question, her heart still skipped a beat, her almost painfully dry eyes widening for a second, before she cast them aside and shook her head slowly, but not a single word would pass her lips.

_Coward_.

"Now isn't that what you wanted?" he hissed, his voice pure venom.

"Guess so…"

"Hope you had yourself a nice day."

He walked past her without deigning to look at her again. He seemed to have taken all the warmth of the hall with him. His absence left her shuddering, but it was better than looking into his reproachful eyes, which made her feel like she had failed him. She _had_ failed him.

Without even knowing how she had gotten there, she stood in front of the sink, staring at the vacant-eyed girl in the mirror. She watched her open the door of the bathroom cabinet and reach inside and when her hand came out again, her fingers were locked around a bright orange box. She took out one of the small white pills. Watched it lie there in her open palm, almost like a pearl in an oyster. Then she brought her hand to her mouth, but stopped short in her movement and let her hand fall onto the polished porcelain of the sink again, exhaling heavily.

Was this really the answer to all her problems? Would it help anything at all?

Well two are better than one and third time's the charm right?

She really was a coward through and through.

* * *

><p>"<em>We don't have an easy task ahead of us. I expect you to behave like a shinobi does. Keep in mind that we have to represent our clan properly."<em>

_The waves crash and break against the ship's hull._

"_There isn't much we can offer anyone. So we'll have to otherwise… **convince** someone to join us."_

_Crash, break, crash and break in a violent tantrum. Violence – they had to be violent and fierce, unrelenting like the masses of water, shaking walls, floors, shelves and teeth. Dust rained out of cracks in the corners. The spiders were retreating._

"_Do you hear?"_

_The dust made it easy to spot the cobwebs. They didn't look pretty when they didn't shine like silk._

"_Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He pulled at the chin of the stoic girl, pinching her cheeks until her moth opened. A trail of saliva ran down her chin and as she finally nodded, for what else was there to do, he released her, but was chagrined to find that he still didn't have her attention._

_She was wondering what this room would look like if she could crawl up the walls and hang in a corner of the ceiling like a fly caught in one of the dusty webs. Gathering dust and waiting for the spiders to return to mummify her; it fitted well to how ancient she felt._

…

…


	14. Tension

_Here is chapter fourteen everyone! I have assignments and exams coming up soon, so I'm afraid my updates will be a little less frequent for a while. I'm sorry about that, but I hope you understand and I hope you've enjoyed the story so far =)_

* * *

><p><strong>14. Tension<strong>

It was probably the first time ever since his old team –-Team Minato—shattered that Hatake Kakashi was on time.

The sky was overhung by a veil of early morning grey, tarnishing all colours so the world looked pastel. He hadn't encountered a single soul on his way to the main gate of Konoha Gakure, only the guards, sitting in the wooden booth beside the gate. Although from the looks of it, they had been more asleep than awake still. They hadn't even raised their heads off the desk as he had passed them and neither had they reacted to his admittedly rather drowsy greeting.

Only the birds were really awake and very cheerful at that. Listening to their songs had helped him greatly to concentrate on his destination and not "get lost" on the way and suddenly end up at the memorial stone. The gravity of the situation had helped him defy the invisible forces which usually drew him there.

He was not only on time; he was actually the first one to arrive here! The last time that happened felt like a lifetime ago. He was really getting old.

"Kakashi-san," Shikaku greeted the fellow Jounin with a curt nod of the head. He, too, seemed tense, but then who wouldn't? After all something like this was unprecedented, at least as far as he knew.

He had been a little surprised at first that Shizune was not among the two guards Tsunade was allowed to take with her to the Kage summit, but after some thinking that decision seemed sound enough. Shizune was an excellent medic-nin, but Tsunade, as her teacher, surpassed her by far. Besides, who was to lead the village in her absence if not Shizune? She was probably doing Tsunade's work for years anyhow, so she shouldn't have problems taking over the Hokage's duties. Lastly, the two persons accompanying her weren't chosen for sympathy; she needed skilled bodyguards who not only protected her, but could also give her advisory support. That didn't mean she disliked them, but it sure came in handy to have Konoha Gakure's greatest mind among your companions. Oh, and he, the Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi, wasn't that bad either.

"What a terrible hour to meet, isn't it?" Kakashi chatted away.

They had agreed (although this '_they'_ hadn't included the two of them) that they would not mention a single word about the reason for the summit until they returned, and even then it depended on the outcome. Neither of them comprehended this excess of secrecy. All it did was keep the villagers ignorant of any threats, but just because they didn't know of them, didn't mean they weren't there. It even seemed foolish and really risky to keep everyone in the dark, instead of having them prepare themselves. But it was the decision of the Kage and the council and ultimately the two of them could do nothing but pass advice. They had no say in this matter at all.

"It is," Shikaku agreed grimly, "and now the one who proposed it isn't there."

"Who's not there?"

The two men turned their heads to see the Godaime march straight towards them in a resolute gait, not bothering to hide her tense state of mind either.

"Hokage-sama." Both Jounin bowed their heads to greet the leader of their village, who registered their gesture with a brief nod.

"Can we go then?"

"Yes," they replied simultaneously and after exchanging meaningful looks the three shinobi turned their backs on their village and started walking.

The Kage Summit was to take place in five days from now in the Land of Iron. The invitation already came two days ago, but since they figured they'd need about four days for the journey, they only set out today and had spent the previous day planning their journey. Actually the Land of Iron was quite far away. The fastest shinobi of the village would need about two or three days, when he sprinted all the way without taking a break. They did not plan on running all the time; who knew in what condition they would reach the summit if they did? They would travel by ship and not one of the usual freighters. They had gone to great lengths to hire a speedboat with suiton users aboard, who would enhance their velocity.

So now they only had to get to the harbour, which they planned to reach this afternoon. Although no word was passed between the three shinobi from the moment they left their home behind, it didn't seem quiet. They were too preoccupied with their own thoughts to mind what was going on around them. Still none of them had failed to pick up on their follower. They were being tailed ever since they left Konoha and by exchanging a brief glance, they had assured themselves that all the others were aware of that fact as well. It was an immensely skilled shinobi, but there has been a reason why the three of them had been sent on this journey. They had taken note of his presence the moment he started moving and it left Kakashi with a terrible suspicion. A foreign ninja shouldn't be able to get this close to the village. Did that mean it was one of their own men?

"The wind has turned," Kakashi remarked casually.

"In our favour?" Shikaku asked, giving the Hatake a penetrating look.

"We'll see about that…" he replied vaguely, while he already had the tables turned. Ever since their last break in a popular and accordingly full teahouse, a bunshin had taken his place, while he had lain in wait, before setting out to pursue their pursuer. Now he was finally ready for a confrontation.

His clone-self came to a halt, as did the other two, and he put a finger into the air in order to determine the direction of the wind. As could be expected from a good spy, the man did not move when his targets didn't move either. Instead, he sought cover within the crown of a massive sycamore, pressing his body firmly against the large trunk. The man was wearing a long, dark-brown coat, the colour of the bark; he blended in like a chameleon. His face was masked, of course, and he was of lean build – they always were.

"No sudden movements," Kakashi spoke calmly and pressed a kunai against the jugular of the stranger, hard enough to draw blood, but it wouldn't kill him as long as he kept perfectly still. "Who are you and who sent you?"

He didn't think asking for why's would get him any farther – guys like these rarely ever knew the why's.

"I know enough ways to make you talk, but I'm sure you don't want to experience any of them-"

He pushed his kunai a little deeper, as the man moved, feeling the soft flesh give way little by little.

"I told you not to move," Kakashi growled and after a moment of consideration, he pulled at the man's shoulder to turn him around. The mask he was wearing didn't give away any affiliation. It was just white with a brown, perpendicular line in the middle of it. No animal shape, as was used by most Konoha ANBU, no Kiri symbol as the masks of the Hunter-nin sported, nothing that helped identify him, although that was why he was wearing it in the first place. That made his next move easy: off with the mask!

Without ever taking his eyes off the other man or his kunai off his throat, Kakashi raised his hand and cautiously placed it at the edge of the smooth mask, digging his fingers underneath it.

"Hatake Kakashi, step away."

"What?" Kakashi's eyes widened slightly, but before he had a chance to figure out what his opposite was talking about, he was hauled backwards by the force of an explosion. He surely hadn't anticipated that. With his hands raised high to shield his face from the flying debris, the Hatake was thrown off the tree but managed to land on his feet as he reached the dry ground. A second later, a dull thud signalled to him that the other man had reached the ground as well. He had not landed on his feet.

"Kakashi!"

He heard Tsunade call him, before she and Shikaku rushed his way and found him leaning over their pursuer.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Slowly the Jounin rose to his feet and took a step away from the other man, so they could have a look at him. "He killed and made himself unrecognisable in order to avoid being uncovered."

Such an action spoke for a great amount of loyalty to his client, but why did he warn him?

This already promised to be a most unpleasant journey. And it was only day one.

* * *

><p>It seemed almost too easy. It didn't feel terribly stealthy to be sneaking out at broad day and yet it was exciting.<p>

Who would have thought that shy, little Hinata would give herself up to a sensation as primitive as a rush of adrenaline?

Who would have thought she'd even dare to?

* * *

><p>"Tell me what you see on this card."<p>

"Tsk." Ino sucked in her bottom lip and cast an irritated look at the man, sitting next to her on the plain white sofa. Most of the furniture in this office was plain and white or at least pastel coloured and in the air was the faint, powdery scent of benzoin – nothing that could upset a person that was thought to be upset anyhow. She hated it and did not bother to hide that.

"Ink." Came her tight-lipped response, before she leant back against the surprisingly hard backrest.

Careless… if she really, _really_ wanted to, she could probably crack her skull open by banging it against the edge of it. Not that she wanted to. First of all, she didn't want to pass from this world, leaving a mess behind and more importantly, _she_ was no lunatic, which is why she had no idea what she was doing here anyway.

"And on this one?" the elderly man asked as he switched to the next card, displaying not only black, but also red shapes.

"Ink."

"Please concentrate on the form." He made an effort to help her out. "What does it look like to you?"

"Like a blot," Ino sighed and rolled her eyes, her fingers digging a little deeper into her armrest as she tried not to let the anger that was boiling below her skin erupt. This was such a waste of time. Instead of sitting here, she could have already cleaned her house a dozen times all over (especially seeing as it was always spotless to begin with).

"Yamanaka-san." His voice lost a bit of its neutral, almost lulling quality, but only for a moment. "Please concentrate."

"Tze," she hissed and stared out of the window. "I see shoes, a bag, a scarf, jewels-"

"-You're not even looking."

"What difference does it make?" she snapped and glared at her therapist. "It's still ink on paper, regardless of what I say."

"If you refuse to cooperate I can't give you green light."

Right. He was the man in charge of her future. Unless she didn't pass his tests, she would never be allowed to return to her team again and would probably have to come here every week for the rest of her life.

"What do you want me to do? You ask me what it is and I tell you. It's _ink_ on paper."

"You're not supposed to tell me what it is, but what you see in it," he reminded her again, without looking up from the notes he had so busily taken in the last seconds. The scratching of his pen reminded her of the sound it made when you ground your teeth – a habit she had long discarded, but right now she felt like taking it up again. This man with his stubborn patience and repetitiveness was driving her insane. He wasn't healing her but making her ill.

"How about I just see things the way they are?"

* * *

><p>It's been really lonely these past days.<p>

Actually Sayuri was used to it. Being a top-class shinobi, Sasuke spent a lot of time out of the house she was confined to due to her role as housewife. In the last two weeks, however, there's been almost nothing for him to do and he's spent more time at home than he had, ever since they came back to Konoha. But apparently the time of idleness was over. Not even an hour ago, he returned from a five-day mission and the next one was due in a few days again.

Five days weren't really long and she hasn't been entirely alone, either, after all she still had her son, but even so, she had missed him. _Really_ missed him and yet she has also been glad that he's been gone. She had just needed some time for herself, but she's had that now and was looking forward to spending some time with him.

Sitting in the living-room, watching her son explore every single corner of the house and at the same time doing her job of cleaning the floor, Sayuri was busy adding herbs into her mortar and ground them to a fine powder, before squeezing the juice of a fresh aloe vera leaf into it to turn the powder into an ointment. As she was only just done, the bedroom door opened and Sasuke stepped into the living room in fresh clothes – beige shorts and a black shirt with a high collar and the obligatory Uchiha crest on his back and then the bandages covering his wrists.

"How's your hand?" Sayuri asked and rose to her feet, with the stone mortar in her hands.

"It's nothing." Sasuke shrugged; he was never one to show he was suffering.

"Let me see."

She carefully reached for his hand and turned it around. The flesh of his palm was pink with some darker shades, almost a glaring red really, around his thumb and a few blisters here and there. He had burned it pretty bad.

"There, hold still," she said and dipped two fingers into her ointment, before rubbing it in careful circles on his skin, trying to insert as little pressure as possible. She didn't want any of the blisters to break open, but actually it looked rather good. The injury was a few days old after all and nothing happened yet, and quite frankly she didn't think he had been mindful to treat it with caution.

"Try to use it as little as possible."

"Hn." He gave a noncommittal sound and dropped his hand to his side without looking at it again.

"It's really nice outside… don't you think?" Sayuri asked and clasped her hands behind her back sheepishly.

"Just like everyday," he said, remaining utterly unimpressed. He was good at that…

"Shall we take a walk? I'm sure Mikan would like some fresh air."

"Can't, I'm off to training."

"But-" she started, but then cut off her own sentence by biting on her lip.

"But what?"

_I don't want to be alone_, is what she thought, but what she said was, "Right, whatever."

She rolled her eyes and meant to go back to her working place to wrap up the left-over herbs, when Sasuke held her back by her elbow.

"What is it now?" he asked in a worn-out tone and gave her a hard look. He seemed honestly unaware of why it annoyed her that he apparently couldn't even stand it to stay at home for a single hour and didn't want to spend any time with them in spite of not having seen them for five whole days. It was exasperating.

"Nothing," she hissed and pulled her arm away. If he didn't get it, then that was his problem. She didn't feel like talking to him anyhow. "C'mon Mikan, let's go and take a walk by ourselves."

Sayuri picked up her son and took the colourful leaf that must have flown in through the open door, out of his tiny fist. He didn't like that at all.

"We can take a walk together when I get back."

"Oh, really? When would that be? When it's dark outside and he has to go to bed?" She gave him a scowl that could have cut him in halves, and handed the leaf back to her son to keep him from whining. "You only just came back and now you want to leave again?"

"I'm not _leaving_, I go and train."

That has never yet been a problem, so why was it now?

"It's not about what you do, but about you not being here," she snarled. "But good to know what's more important to you."

"Why do you think am I doing all this?"

At last his calm abandoned him. He always acted like he didn't care about anything and like he was above it all, but for that he could get really angry when provoked. It definitely took Sayuri by surprise, since it usually took more than this for him to lose his composure, but by now they had quarrelled often enough, so it no longer intimidated her.

"Enlighten me."

"Tze," Sasuke hissed, not having missed the sarcastic tone in her voice. "I do this, so I'll be strong enough to defeat Madara. The last time I wasn't able to protect you, but next time will be different. I won't let him touch you again."

How come that didn't surprise her now?

"But you don't know when he'll come- or if he'll come at all," she said and put Mikan back down, before carrying on, "So you want to lie in wait all your life and spent that time training and training in order to protect us instead of being with us? We don't even know if Madara is alive or not, so maybe you're just wasting your time."

"He _is_ alive," Sasuke said emphatically. "I know he is… And time spent training is hardly wasted time."

"So being with us is a waste of time, huh?"

"That's not what I said."

"Right." Sayuri waved him off, knowing that that last remark had not only been childish but had done him wrong as well. "So he is alive, but during your fight he was so badly wounded – he even lost an arm! Maybe he will never fully recover. And he must have overused his Sharingan, too-"

"-he is in possession of the eternal Mangekyou Sharingan," Sasuke interrupted her in the harsh tone that always invaded his voice when talking about the other Uchiha. "His eyes aren't like mine. They don't expire while mine do."

"B-but you don't have to shoulder the entire burden yourself. Even if he should come, you don't have to face him all alone. That's one of the reasons we came here, remember? Safety in numbers and all that…"

That has been the very argument that had at long last convinced him to return to the village. He knew he couldn't be there all the time and Konoha-nin looked after one another, they helped each other, regardless of what happened and they would also help them when they needed help. It wasn't Sasuke against Madara, but Konoha against Madara. That should at least give him a little bit of reassurance, shouldn't it?

"We are talking about Uchiha Madara. Mere numbers won't do," Sasuke sighed and from the look in his eyes, he was far away right now, he definitely did take his time before carrying on and when he did, he had the worn out tone of someone who had made a long journey and was now very tired, "I'm the only one who can kill him and next time I'll be prepared."

"But you nearly did beat him the last time and now you have back-up. Don't you think that will be enough?" she asked, her voice softer now. "Or do you really plan to keep on training until the day he comes – even if it takes years?"

"…"

"I know that you only do it for us…" Sayuri sighed, her eyes boring into the faraway look in his, as she dissected his silence, "But instead of protection from someone who might never appear we rather need you in person. Mikan needs his father and I- I just need you. Waiting for Madara could take forever or he might appear in a moment you're not there. Life's too short to spend waiting for the worst to happen, don't you think?"

"…"

Instead of responding he averted his eyes and watched his son rip apart the dry leaf and at length the meaning of what was left unsaid began to dawn on Sayuri and left her blanching. At least that's how it felt. She could literally feel the blood drain from her face, leaving her head feel light and her chest too small to accommodate her erratically beating heart.

"Unless… you don't plan to wait…?" Her voice was shallow and became slower with every word and as Sasuke at length met her eyes again, she could see the determination in his.

"No, I don't." He slowly shook his head. "The moment I think I'm ready I'll set out to search him and end this once and for all."

"Huh?" A helpless sound escaped her and she stared into Sasuke's eyes in horror, losing herself in the blackness that made it almost impossible for her to find her voice again and when she did, it came out as a weak stammer, "N-no… you can't do that…"

"I have to-"

"No! You have a son now – you can't be so reckless!" Her voice rose in volume and pitch; her anger or maybe fear did that. "It's one thing to defend yourself against danger but another to go and search for danger yourself!"

"You two are the reason why I have to do this." Sasuke's gaze strayed to his son, before giving Sayuri a steady, analysing look. Her skin was as smooth as porcelain and just as pale. Except for the subtle shadows under her eyes it was spotless. He would not allow anyone to change that. Not again. _Not ever_. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life worrying? Because I don't. We are Mikan's parents and it's our duty to make sure he can grow up safely, and he'll never be able to until we get rid of Madara."

_**You** won't be safe until he's gone._

He was right and she knew it. There was no life with Madara, but without Sasuke there was none either. What if he'd set out and never come back? Maybe he would manage to kill Madara, but at what cost? What would happen to him? It was highly unrealistic to believe that Sasuke would survive an encounter of that kind unscathed, not even remotely unharmed and what then? What if he came back as a cripple and she'd then have to care for two babies? What if he never returned at all? What if he left her alone again? She didn't want to be alone again…

But despite her fear she still knew he was right, but she wasn't yet ready to accept that.

That is why, instead of responding, Sayuri bit into her bottom lip and gazed into the distance, into a future she didn't want to live and tried hard to blind out, but once the images began playing across her mind there was no stopping them. She cursed herself for her weakness.

"Once he is gone," Sasuke began slowly, "maybe you'll sleep better then."

He softly trailed his thumb across the slight shadows under her eyes. He'd love to erase them, but knew that he couldn't. Not yet…

"Huh?"

He noticed? Had all her pretences been in vain? She had tried so hard to hide every trace of sleeplessness, of the nightmares that disrupted the few hours of sleep she was granted and every bit of discomfort from his watchful eyes, so he wouldn't have to worry about her as well, when he was there. But apparently she had failed. And that although she had been sure that his usual indifference and all the smiles she forced on her face when he was there sufficed to fool him. But apparently he was more perceptive than she gave him credit for. And here she had thought she had done a good job…

"You can tell?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"I know you," he shrugged, raising at least the ghost of a smile on her face, but its poignant quality belied the whole gesture.

He knew her alright, but she also knew him and knew how stubborn he was and that he tended to overestimate himself. He was strong, very much so, but that didn't mean that others were by default weak, although at times she wondered if he thought that way.

"I won't be long."

A kiss on the lips and then he was gone, but she still couldn't shake off that queasy feeling for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p>It was broad day, actually, but here in the woods hardly any light reached the moss and leave covered ground. It was much colder here, too. And quiet. If he didn't pay attention, Naruto couldn't even hear the chirping of birds or the rustling of the large black pine trees surrounding him. When he looked up, he could only see a small circle of blue, framed from all sides by the pointed tree tops, as though they were growing diagonally, closing in on him. It was just a visual phenomenon, but even so he somehow felt trapped, almost claustrophobic even, which is why he forced his eyes to stay down, gazing through the thick branches of the trees, like a prisoner through his bars as he waited for her to finally show up.<p>

Hinata never wanted to meet at public places and at times he wondered if she was ashamed of him, the Jinchuuriki-boy, although it has been a long time since someone had called him that. She's a shy girl and maybe just now that was a good thing. It sure enough slowed him down and kept him from rushing things. But however new and actually not yet deep their relationship was, he was just proud of her and that made it hard to keep quiet about it.

If it were up to him he would scream it from the rooftops that she was his girlfriend now.

All in due time…

* * *

><p>It started out as a simple training day. Neji schooled his Byakugan, his agility, his chakra control – all the way he always did. At some point though, he couldn't even tell now just when that had been, he had planted himself in front of the great oak tree in the backyard of the premises and tested his physical strength on it. Punching on and on, until his knuckles were bleeding, his breath came ragged through parted lips, the bark was destroyed and the whole tree, even the ground seemed to be shaking under the fury of his fists. Or maybe it was him who was shaking. He didn't care either which way. Same as all the colours and contours around him had become blurry, indistinguishable from one another, so had the shapes of his thoughts at the cost of their contents. For an individual who usually overthought his every action, Neji's mind seemed suspiciously devoid of conscious thought. The vacuousness dominating his head did little, however, to restrain him. In fact, it seemed to even augment the force with which he was thrashing the innocent tree, but he couldn't possibly direct his anger at those who were actually responsible for his current misery.<p>

The tree would have to do. It's not like it changed anything anyhow, but as long as he was distracted, he could ignore that fact. To some extent… Well… at least he told himself he could, but in some remote nook of his mind he knew that it was not a tree he was lashing out against and _that_ was something he could not ignore.

Still his fists carried on. The bandages around his fingers were soaked with blood, but he was too numb to feel any pain. Maybe that bothered him-

-it _did_ bother him.

"What a brute training for someone in possession of the Byakugan."

Neji perceived a voice – his uncle's? – from right behind him. It was hard to make out exactly because of the hammering of bones against bark. He wondered what would give way first.

"Our fighting style isn't called the gentle fist for nothing. Mere strength won't ever do as much damage as perfect control of chakra."

His uncle, he was sure now, carried on, but Neji decided to pay no attention to him. What did he know? Surely not that more often than not, Neji saw his face in the irregular fissures and curves of the tree's bark… Though maybe he imagined as much.

"Control your emotions or they will control you," Hiashi said with the calm air of someone at peace with the world and himself. "Turn around," he said and Neji could not do anything but obey.

So the young Hyûga turned around and stared at his uncle, still panting, rather with rage than with exhaustion, though. He felt an unbearable urge to hurt the man before him, the one who was about to destroy his future; had in fact already laid the foundation stone to do so. It would feel better than hitting the tree, he was sure of that, but apart from not changing anything he would also have to suffer the consequences for such a major transgression. It was not worth it, but that knowledge did next to nothing to calm him. Hiashi had to feel it. He had to feel the rage welling up in him and yet he did nothing to constrain him. It would have been easy for his main-house uncle to make use of the jûin to bring him to his knees and let the pain erase all hostile thoughts from his mind, the way he had also done with Neji's father – his own brother. But he didn't do it. He remained unnervingly calm.

"I am aware that you might harbour doubts, concerning the arrangement of your marriage," Hinata's father began cautiously and stepped off the wooden porch he had been standing on and approached his nephew. Though he did halt a good distance away from him.

"Hmpf."

"But if you set aside your hasty misgivings, you will see it's for your best."

_The clan's best._

"The best for the clan is the best for you," Hiashi said, as though he had read his thoughts. It wouldn't even surprise Neji if he had. Who knew just how far the main house's power over the branch members reached? "People aren't solitary beings. You live in a community; the country, the village, your friends, but there is no one closer to you than family. Blood is thicker than water and as we strive to do what is best for you, you should also strive to do what is best for your clan-mates. Every man has a share of the responsibility for the fate of his fellow human beings. Remember that."

Like there was a way Neji could ever forget that, not even if he tried. Something like this was easy to say for someone who was very far at the top of every hierarchy.

It kind of felt like betrayal. He used to hate his uncle and every single member of the main house, everyone responsible for imposing such a pitiful life on the members of the second house of their very own family. Then his uncle took him under his wing, convinced him that most of his wrath had been unfounded and that he was the master of his own fate and Neji had truly believed him.

Now, however, he had shown him that he had been right after all. No matter how much freedom a caged bird could see through its bars, it didn't change anything about the fact that it was still in a cage.

Despite Neji's silence, Hiashi was aware of how he felt. It was easy to tell from his posture, much easier still from the feeling of his chakra.

"The spectators see the chess game better than the players. Your wedlock will not only be an enrichment for the clan, but also for your own lives-"

"-Hiashi-sama!" Neji spoke up, still enraged, but his uncle lifted a hand to silence him.

"Words spoken during emotional moments are likely to be discourteous, so no more to the matter." Hiashi gave a casual wave of the hand and focused his pale lavender eyes on his nephew. "The greatest value in life lies in selfless dedication. With time you'll grow to understand our decision."

* * *

><p><em>She's had a lot of dreams. For instance she had wanted to be like her sister; to be gracious and kind like her, but she had also wanted to become a strong kunoichi, so she could be her sister's guard, once she took over the position as the head of the village and their clan from their grandmother. <em>

_She's had the potential. _

_She's had the requirements._

_She's had the strength._

_She's had the will, the determination, she's had all she needed to make everyone predict a bright future for her._

_She's had many dreams, but being a wife has never been among them._

_Besides she was married already. She was 6 and he was 8 and it happened in a sand box, but this matrimonial sacrament would forever mean more to her than any actual marriage ever could._

_She was glad that there was now an ocean between them. It helped a little to distract from the fact that it were far greater forces that kept them apart. Even less bridgeable than the greatest sea._

…

…


	15. A living dead man

**15. A living dead man**

"I don't know why you always say yes…"

Something about this conversation was vaguely familiar. They must have had it a dozen times at least and that fact alone made clear that they had never yet reached a consensus on the matter. And so here they were, going through it all over again.

"That's not how it is…" Sayuri sighed and kept rushing through their living room with a cleaning rag in her hand, polishing every surface until it gleamed and their whole house smelled like a lemon grove in spring. After all, the house had to look presentable when their visitors came tonight. Did she say _their_ visitors? Well, actually she meant Ino's, which might be the reason why Sasuke seemed a little unenthusiastic about the change of plans or rather the change of location.

"It's far more convenient this way," she said looking over her shoulder at Sasuke, who sat on the wooden floorboards in the open doorframe, with his arm leaning causally on his raised knee, calmly gazing out into the garden, instead of maybe helping her. "We would have gone there anyhow, so what does it matter? At least we don't have to search for a babysitter."

"Hmm…" Was Sasuke's sole response.

It was convenient for Ino, since she had invited more people than fitted into her tiny flat, but for them? Apart from the fact that they didn't need to worry about their son, there were hardly any advantages for them. Sayuri was cleaning the house now for whatever reason and she would have to clean it again, once they were gone, but most importantly you couldn't walk out on your own guests. Had they gone to Ino, he could have gone home, once he's had enough of the company and Mikan would have been the perfect excuse for an early departure. Then there would have been no need for Sayuri to feel guilty about walking out on them, whereas he didn't do so either way. But when they all came here, he'd have to stay with them until even the last one of them was gone and he knew from earlier occasions that that might take longer than he thought tolerable. Especially because he was assigned to a mission tomorrow morning and could think of many things he would rather do than spending his last hours with these guys, but of course he couldn't just throw them out – no matter how much he would like to… Being in a relationship was really annoying at times. _She_ was really annoying at times.

"I'm off," Sasuke said suddenly and rose to his feet.

Sayuri at once spun around to him, seeming confused more than anything. "B-but you'll be back… right?"

And there it was again, that anxious look. She often had that look about her lately. She seemed as fragile as an eggshell, one poke and she might crack. It was clear that something was troubling her, but whenever he asked, she just said it was nothing. She was a grown up woman and if she didn't want to talk about what was troubling her and rather suffered in silence then that was her thing. He couldn't help her if she didn't open her mouth.

And she did not open her mouth as she stood there, enduring the long look he gave her and worse still his silence, but eventually he sighed then, the disruption of the quiet almost making her jump.

"It's not like I have a choice, do I?"

"Huh…? No…" She shook her head and forced a smile on her face, but it collapsed the second Sasuke was out of the door.

She resumed cleaning then, although she was sure that no one would notice anyway. They probably wouldn't mind if the house was a complete mess as long as everyone had a place to sit. What it came down to was that thanks to Sasuke's ambition to have a big house they had enough room, whereas Ino didn't. But that was mainly because she had far too many plants, vases, figurines and what have you – things you couldn't find in their home. All the decoration they had consisted of Mikan's toys, which were usually scattered all across the floor, but she was busy packing them away now.

"There you are," she said to the small plush giraffe, she had just retrieved from under the wooden living room cupboard. Then Mikan started whimpering and since she didn't have the heart to let him wait, she went to look after him at once. She had put him into his playpen, so she wouldn't have to watch him all the time and there he sat now, surrounded by more toys than he could play with and yet he didn't even look at them, but was instead watching the world beyond the bars. It was obvious that he felt trapped in there and wanted out.

"You're bored, huh?" Sayuri asked the small boy and knelt down, crossing her arms on the padded edge of the 'baby prison' and rested her chin on them. "Look here – did you miss your giraffe?"

She wiggled the plushie in front of his face, but Mikan paid it no heed and only looked at his mother with an intensely focused expression on his tiny baby face. He had to be thinking really, really hard about something, the little brainiac.

"I don't know what you're doing that all your toys run away from you all the time." She grinned and put the giraffe in his lap. "Take care this time, I'm not a toy catcher, you know?"

She ruffled his soft hair and rose to her feet, but the moment she turned her back on him, Mikan started whimpering again, making her stop in her tracks and heave a weary sigh. "I can't play with you just yet… There, you have all your things here-"

All her coaxing didn't work. He just kept sitting there with his arms stretched out to his mother, rocking his body to and fro in an impatient tantrum and now what choice did she have but to pick him up? Sasuke really did have a point; she just couldn't say no to anyone; least of all their son when he looked at her with his cute, big eyes and reached out to her with his tiny little fingers. She was entirely unable to resist his charm. So she picked him up and went outside, where she sat down and let her feet dangle from the wooden porch, her back resting against one of the many pillars.

"So what now, huh?" she asked her son with a serious face, but he seemed rather clueless himself and just played with his fingers and watched the movement with a concentrated look, his lips puckered in a pout. The young mother couldn't help sighing, before she burrowed her face into the crease of his neck, inhaling his sweet scent. A mixture of milk, baby powder and the calendula cream she used for his sensitive skin. She could smell at him all day…

"You don't want any brothers or sisters, do you?" she murmured into the fleecy fabric of his romper and twirled Mikan's soft hair in her fingers. "It's not so bad to be an only child. You get all the attention, just like now. And you won't have to share your toys or your room…"

She raised her knees and turned Mikan around so he rested with his back against them and she could look into his face. He looked so much like Sasuke… Yet another handsome Uchiha man.

"And if you had brothers, you'd always compete with each other. Try to surpass each other. Maybe you'd even-" she stopped as she saw how Mikan made bubbles with his mouth and couldn't help shaking her head with a soft smile on her face. "No you wouldn't. You're such a sweetheart."

She pressed the small boy against her chest again and pushed a firm kiss on the top of his head.

He'd never be this way. Just because he was an Uchiha, didn't mean he would be like the other members of this powerful, hate-consumed clan. It didn't matter what Madara said. Nothing of all his talk about the destiny of the Uchiha and their history of fratricide. He would not be like Sasuke or Itachi. Not like Madara or Izuna. Not like any of them.

But what if things like fate and destiny really did exist?

What if he had no other choice?

* * *

><p>"Neji-san."<p>

The young Hyûga came to a stop, but didn't turn around just yet. Didn't want to turn around. Up to know he had successfully avoided her, though he knew that it was childish and he also knew that he couldn't do so forever. After all they were living in the same compound, would soon enough live together. Happily ever after, as the saying goes … He really had no choice but to face her at length.

"Samsara-sama." Neji inclined his head slightly, to show his 'respect' to his main house fiancée. It seemed rather ridiculous, to outsiders even more so, but he would have to stick to the etiquette, until she told him it was no longer necessary. Though the solemn nod she gave him, made him sure that she definitely did deem it necessary still. And quite frankly he was fine with that. He didn't like to think of her as his soon-to-be wife and as long as she still treated him as inferior (and who knew if she'd ever stop?) it was easier to pretend that none of this would happen. They hadn't set a date for their marriage yet either and although it was plain naïve, Neji still sought comfort in the thought that it might never happen. That they'd change their mind. That she would protest about being married to someone below her own social status and just run off with someone else – as long as it wasn't him, he was fine with everything, but despite all that he knew this was a rather unlikely scenario.

"Is there anything you want?" he asked, sounding harsher than intended, maybe harsher than she was used to, or so he guessed from the way she narrowed her pale eyes into slits and remained silent for a while.

"No. I'm quite alright," she replied, almost snappily, and brushed her long, dark hair over her shoulder, sending a wave of ginger scent his way. A rather unfitting scent for summer and yet it was kind of pleasant. She smelled pleasant and looked pleasant. She was dressed in a floral kimono in white and pale blue, she had the skin of a porcelain doll and her long hair was as straight and shiny as a blade. She might appear quite appealing, but even if he tried, Neji couldn't possibly see her that way.

"Where are you going?" Her voice was soft and yet it sounded like polished steel. Her inquiry in itself was presumptuous. Did she think he was accountable to her now, just because someone had decided they were about to wed? And that even though they had never yet talked to each other?

"Out," he gave a clipped response, bowed his head and took off. He did not turn around to see her narrow her eyes again, as he was sure she was doing right now. But he had no interest in talking to her, getting to know her, finding out he hated or worse even liked her. It would be harder if she actually were amiable. The fact alone that she had been forced on him or he on her would make him despise her forever and if he found out that she didn't deserve his scorn, it would end up making him feel bad on top of everything. As though things weren't complicated enough already…

He was determined not to waste another thought on her or his future, but he did keep his ears open to listen to her steps as she walked away. Only that she didn't. That was not his problem though and so he turned the next corner and was out of sight. Maybe the company tonight would do him good. It would have done him good, had they been unaware of his engagement, but now that it had become public, he had some doubts about that. But at least it would offer some distraction.

He had almost reached the exit of the Hyûga compound, when Neji perceived two familiar voices and came to a halt, eavesdropping on a conversation between Hinata and her father.

"It's eight o'clock. I can't think of any activity that necessitates your going away at this time, so where are you headed?"

"Uhm…" Hinata stammered, her head lowered as it usually was these days, or basically as long as she could think of. She wasn't allowed to leave the house, except for training or missions or anything in that direction. If she wanted to get away for any other purpose, she had to sneak past her father, which she had actually intended to do, since she had been sure he wasn't there to begin with, but as it seemed he was and he had caught her and now she didn't know what to tell him.

"I'm waiting," Hiashi said sternly as he found his daughter floundering, which in itself raised his suspicion, but he was curious to find out what she would say to him.

Hinata, however, seemed incapable of dissipating the haze that engulfed her mind and clear her thoughts. She had lied so much in the past weeks, had told so many different stories to different people and just now she was beginning to lose track of the web of lies she had fabricated. It was such an exhausting task. She could never relax. All the time she had to think of the things she had previously told him or anyone else, just so her new story would fall in place with all her previous ones. The truth was easier. Truthful things always fitted together, but if she started telling the truth now, then that would expose all her previous untruths and then she'd be in real trouble.

But hadn't she learned – in the academy even – that the best lies contained a bit of truth?

"I'm invited to a birthday celebration," she finally said, trying to keep her voice and gaze steady and face her father with the calm certainty of the just.

"A birthday?" He squinted his pale eyes, not quite buying her lie and not deeming it a sufficient explanation either. "Whose birthday would that be?"

"_Whose_?" she repeated to buy some time, but there weren't any birthdays coming up soon. She should have thought of something before setting off. What was she supposed to do now?

"Kiba's."

Both Hiashi and his daughter turned their heads around, to where the voice had come from and saw Neji approach them. Hinata was glad that her father's full attention was focused on her cousin, so he didn't see the look of sheer relief on her face, but more importantly she was glad that Neji had decided to help her in the first place.

"His birthday was a few weeks ago, but he has been away on a mission then, so he celebrates it today," Neji lied smoothly, earning quite an admiring glance from Hinata, though she forced her face to become blank again as she felt her father's gaze upon her.

"I take it you are invited, too?"

"Yes, I am."

Hiashi looked from one of the two to the other, not seeming convinced by their lie or that a belated birthday was reason enough for his precious daughter to leave the shelter of the Hyûga premises.

"I will personally look after her," Neji said and nodded sternly, almost businesslike, at his uncle, leaving it up to him to interpret the meaning of his words. It could mean that he'd make sure she would not encounter any dangers in the few minutes it took them to get to Sayuri's place or it could mean he'd make sure to keep all male beings away from her. As his uncle consented then, Neji was sure he thought he meant the latter.

* * *

><p>It didn't happen often; in fact it was unprecedented for the five most influential personalities of the ninja world to get together in a non-hostile environment for a non-militant reason.<p>

In a way…

At least there were no militant motives against one of the present parties. Not officially that is. But you never knew what opportunities might offer themselves. It was no secret that a few of the present people would seize every chance they could get to strengthen their own situation or weaken that of the others.

At this point the seriousness of the matter to be discussed today was still not clear to all of the assembled people.

Still the tension within the ample hall was palpable, but that was to be expected when such powerful, but not necessarily well-disposed persons came together. There was a U-shaped table in the middle of the room. On the left end of it sat the Mizukage of Kiri Gakure, a beautiful woman with long auburn hair and moss green eyes, Terumi Mei. Next to her, the youngest Kazekage in the history of Suna Gakure, Gaara, and in the middle of the table sat Konoha Gakure's Hokage, the Slug Princess Tsunade. On the other end of the table was the Raikage of Kumo Gakure, a tanned man of sturdy build, going by the simple name of A. The last person at the table was also the oldest, Iwa Gakure's Tsuchikage, Ônoki. Behind each of them hung long, white banners, featuring the symbols of their respective affiliation, unmoving, in spite of the storm raging beyond the heavy walls that shielded the pyramid-like building, located in the neutral Land of Iron. These banners did well in hiding the persons, the bodyguards, behind them, creating the impressions that such precautions weren't necessary.

There was one further table still, right in the centre of the room and right now in the centre of everyone's attention. At that table sat the general of the Land of Iron, the samurai Mifune, who at length raised his voice.

"Place your hats on the table. You are here today because the Raikage has called this meeting. My name is Mifune and I will be your moderator. The meeting will now begin."

* * *

><p>"Neji-nii-san?" Hinata spoke up, without turning her head to the man walking beside her.<p>

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for… you know… _lying_ for me." The word barely left her lips, but she knew she had to call it by its name. They had both lied to her father – the head of their clan – and if he should ever find out, they would most definitely face severe consequences, Neji even more than her and he was well aware of that. Still he had gone to such lengths as to lie for her, although it held no personal advantages for him.

"It was no trouble, Hinata-sama," Neji replied humbly, his pale eyes focused on a flock of birds, soaring through the sky right above their heads.

"You know… you don't have to call me that…"

_We are friends now, aren't we?_

"I know," he sighed. But it didn't matter. "The thing with you and Naruto – is it serious?"

"Huh?" Hinata gasped, not expecting to be asked such a personal question, and now what would her answer be? "Hmm… it… it feels serious…"

Serious and not easy as she had thought it would be from the moment on he finally noticed her, but that was hardly Naruto's fault.

"I see," Neji nodded and that wasn't just an empty phrase. He really did understand her; after all they were practically walking in the same shoes. Despite their different background. "We're there," he said, bringing his cousin out of her short-lived reverie.

"Uh." Hinata nodded and observed the house of their friends with a glazed look. Would she ever have a house of her own, too? One that did not happen to be located within the quarter her clan claimed to be theirs… And with whom would she share that house? She really wondered what her future would look like…

"Hinata-sama?" Frowning, the Hyûga looked back at the dark-haired girl, who still stood rooted before the steps, while he had already made his way to the front door.

"Y-yes," Hinata started and quickly closed up to her cousin, her cheeks flushed the faintest shade of pink.

They already heard some voices from within, mostly Kiba's and Naruto's and Hinata couldn't help smiling as they waited to be let in. It surprised them a little to have Ino welcome them, but then this was her party. The Yamanaka drowned them in a deluge of meaningless chit-chat on their way to the living-room and once there, they saw that there weren't all that many people yet. Just the two mentioned before, then Sayuri and Mikan, Ino and now the two of them, but then she had no idea how many people were supposed to come. Probably Ino's team-mates, Shikamaru and Chôji and perhaps Shino, although she wasn't sure if he was in the village at the moment. And she also expected Sasuke to come; this was his house after all and although he wasn't exactly known for his sociable nature, she didn't think he'd let some visitors drive him off.

"Hinata-chan!" Naruto shot to his feet, the moment his eyes fell on the Hyûga and the sight of her at once brought a beaming expression to his face. It was that look that made it hard for her to regret her decision to deceive her own father; even made her indifferent about all the consequences she might face.

* * *

><p>By nine o'clock they were apparently complete and fortunately they weren't quite as many people as they had assumed, as Ino had asked them to transfer her party to their house. Half an hour ago, Sasuke had returned with Shikamaru in tow and that was it. From their age group, there wasn't anyone else in the village – at least no one Ino thought worth inviting.<p>

"C'mon have another drink." Ino took one of the numerous bottles from the table and began first refilling Neji's, then Naruto's and Hinata's glasses (and happened to forget Kiba's), before she turned around and did the same with Sayuri's and then fully devoted her attention to observing her visitors.

What a mixed group they were. It was really fun to watch. Especially Naruto and Hinata, who sat really close together, holding hands and stealing quick, innocent kisses every now and then. They seemed so clumsy, it was really cute. Neji on the other hand looked mainly gloomy and downed one drink after the other, but in view of his upcoming marriage, no one held it against him. Ino's boyfriend was happily drinking with him, and she wasn't quite sure if Kiba even realised that the Hyûga wasn't exactly in the best mood, it did not seem to affect his mood in any case. Then there was Sayuri, who sat with her son on her lap and rocked him slightly to keep him entertained, while her gaze was constantly drawn to Sasuke who had retreated to the other end of the room, along with Shikamaru. They had joined them here at the table for maybe ten minutes and now they were having their private party there, far off from them, which was actually not how it was supposed to be and Sayuri didn't seem too happy about it either.

"You haven't touched your drink yet," Ino said, startling Sayuri out of her thoughts.

"Huh? Oh… I don't really feel like drinking."

"You know, it's pretty rude to decline a drink from your host."

"Actually, this is my house. I'm the host," Sayuri said, entirely unimpressed, before giving the Yamanaka a penetrating look, "And I haven't seen you fill your own glass yet."

"Well… guess I don't feel much like drinking either." Ino grinned and stuck out her tongue, but then, from one moment to the next, a serious look passed across her face and she carried on in a low voice, "Everything okay with you and Sasuke?"

"W-what…?" Sayuri frowned, feeling as though Ino had poured a bucket of cold water over her head. "Sure, everything's fine."

She nodded and wrapped her arms a little tighter around her son, pressing a kiss on the top of his head and Ino decided to leave it at that, although she couldn't get herself to believe her friend's words. After all they hadn't even talked to each other, ever since Sasuke was back and now Sayuri was sitting here with them, while Sasuke was standing over there, not even looking their way, while Sayuri's eyes seemed practically glued on him.

That did not look like everything was fine at all. All the more reason to get Sayuri drunk so she would let something spill… When it came to satisfying her curiosity then the end justified the means. Besides, Sayuri would also benefit, because once she knew what was going on, then she could fix things for her.

"Hey little boy." Ino leaned closer to Mikan and gave him a conspiratorial look, before whispering in his ear in a perfectly audible voice, "What shall we do to make your momma look happier, huh?"

"Oh, Ino… drop it already, will you?" Sayuri moaned and ran a hand through her long hair, before focusing all her attention on her son, so she wouldn't have to look at the awfully nosy Yamanaka. She really didn't know what Ino wanted from her. There was nothing wrong between her and Sasuke and she wasn't unhappy either. Why should she? Maybe Sasuke was a little pissed because of having all these people in his house for who knows how long, but actually it didn't seem like he was having a bad time. After all he was with his new drinking partner and they were whispering about who knows what, but something about their posture told her that they didn't want to be overheard. She'd love to know what they were talking about; especially because it happened rarely enough to see Sasuke talk so much and then to someone other than her and they looked too serious for simple small talk…

"Sayuri-chan?"

"Huh?" She moved her head up and looked at the Uzumaki, whose face was already flushed from the alcohol.

"Do you have any snacks?"

"Sure," she nodded and turned back to Ino, "Can you hold him a moment?"

"It'd be my pleasure. Yes it would… yes it would…" Ino cooed as she took the infant out of Sayuri's arms and rubbed her nose against his, making him laugh some more, but nothing Ino did could make her any more interesting than the huge white dog, sitting at the table like everyone else did, too – a full-fledged member of their group.

She made sesame balls earlier, because she knew how much Naruto liked them and aside from rather many bottles of liqueur, Ino also brought along some crackers, which happened to still stand on the desk close to the door, close to Sasuke and Shikamaru.

They seemed too deep in conversation to notice her, but even so she was careful to be quiet and not pass too close to them, so they wouldn't notice her attempts at picking up on what they were talking about. The general noise level around and their hushed voices made it a rather hard task and she only caught snippets of their conversation, but even these brief, cut-off fragments were really disconcerting – shocking really – and now the fierce thump-thump of her heart made her deaf for anything else.

Now things were finally beginning to make sense…

* * *

><p>"So let's recapitulate," Mifune said, after the Raikage had explained the reason for this meeting and everyone's had the chance to digest his words or was maybe still occupied with doing so; the complete lack of noise suggested that assumption at least. "On the basis of the events occurring in the past weeks, the rumours of Akatsuki's disbanding can almost certainly be refuted. The identity of their present leader is currently unknown, but their aims seem to be unchanged: they are still after the Bijû. Anything to add?"<p>

The samurai roamed his black eyes across the five Kage, sitting at the table in front of his and were soon drawn to the right side as a hand covered with rubbery skin, like that of a lizard, darted into the air.

"I have a question," Ônoki said, his voice sounding far too powerful for his brittle frame, "What has that to do with us?"

His question was met by startled, if not disapproving frowns, but that was the reaction he had expected; it did seem as though he relished in having raised a controversial topic and so he took his time, drew out the moment, before explaining his sentiment.

"Akatsuki are a phenomenon of our time and just as they are dangerous, they are also useful." His small eyes flickered to the Kazekage, right across from him, something that didn't go unnoticed, although Gaara didn't seem to know what he was referring to, but he was sure he'd find out soon enough. "Even among us there are people who benefited from their service-"

"-What are you implying?" Gaara asked, his eyes narrowed in a steely look to hide his confusion about the Tsuchikage's words.

"Absolutely nothing, boy. It is not my business to pry into the affairs of other nations," said Ônoki with an air of superiority about him, which made Temari and Kankurô growl in their hiding place. "My point is, I don't understand the reason for this summit."

"Huh?"

"I do understand why the Raikage and the Hokage are concerned about the news of Akatsuki's continued existence, seeing as they are in possession of the Hachibi and the Kyuubi, but what do we other nations who do not have a Bijû have to do with it?"

"Akatsuki are not only a threat to us, but to the whole world!" Tsunade barked and slammed her flat hand on the table to lend emphasis to her words and her enraged state of mind. "Konoha Gakure and Kumo Gakure might be the first victims, but once they have captured our Jinchuuriki, they will target every single one of you as well."

"I can only second the Hokage's words," the Raikage said in his booming voice. "My personal feelings aside, if all the Bijû fall into the Akatsuki's hands that would give them a power that has never existed before – that cannot even be measured. It would be best to squash them like the roaches they are before it comes to it."

"It would be futile to wait for them to complete their preparations," Gaara spoke calmly, "As Hokage-sama said, Akatsuki are a problem that concerns all of us and so we need to work together in order to get rid of them for good. We all need each other's help."

"Very well," Mifune nodded, "Until Akatsuki is taken care of… What would you think of forming a Five-Village-Alliance?"

"An alliance?" Ônoki sneered with disdain.

"If their leader really is Uchiha Madara, then there is no way around that – you should know that better than anyone else, Tsuchikage." Tsunade turned to the old man, who was said to have fought the Uchiha before.

"I will not join an unbeneficial alliance because of nothing but mere rumours." Ônoki remained obstinate. In terms of strength Iwa Gakure was one of the most dominant villages in the current ninja world; they did not only not have any alliances to any of the present nations, but had in fact been at war with both Suna and Konoha Gakure. And now they all wanted to work together and probably share their secrets? Pass all their data on a silver platter to their enemies? He was maybe old but not senile enough to agree to this.

"You stubborn old man!"

"Hokage-sama, please refrain from using such displays of rudeness," Mifune said.

"Tsk…" Tsunade gnashed her teeth. Then a sudden gasp passed through the room and in a matter of seconds all the Kage shot to their feet and their guards appeared before them, weapons raised, eyes focused on the other end of the room, where a dark figure slowly materialised out of nowhere.

"What the-?"

"No way… it can't be…"

Were some of the words that echoed through the large hall, but despite these expressions of miscomprehension and the looks of shock on everyone's faces they all knew exactly what was going on. Knew exactly who it was that now stood before them.

"Uchiha Madara…" Kakashi, who was now standing protectively before the Godaime, was the first to openly acknowledge the identity of the unexpected visitors and with that he seemed to break the stupor that had enveloped the present people and the Raikage at once forced his way past Darui and C, the two men who were supposed to watch his back, but they knew their master well enough not to offer any resistance.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Since you arranged a meeting for me, I thought it suitable to grace you with my presence," the Akatsuki stated in a calm voice, not in the least impressed by the huge array of powerful enemies before him. "Rest assured, I am only here to talk."

"Talk?" The Mizukage asked with a frown on her face.

"Exactly. I want to talk about my goal: the Eye of the Moon Plan."

* * *

><p>"That's it for the bottle," Shikamaru sighed after having poured the last few droplets of sake into his glass. He gave the empty bottle a lazy shake for emphasis, before giving Sasuke an expectant look through glazed eyes.<p>

By now they had joined the other people again, so they wouldn't ask any questions and since they were through with talking anyhow, it didn't matter. Though it was much noisier here and Naruto's relentless attempts at engaging him in a conversation were rather annoying, but since a response on his part was apparently not necessary, Sasuke just ignored him most of the time and was with his thoughts still in the middle of the conversation he's just had with the Nara. It was impossible for him not to space out, with his mind floating in a haze of alcohol.

He had run into Shikamaru right after training and once here, they had started drinking right away instead of eating something first. Funny to think what a bad influence Nara Shikamaru, the genius mind of the Hidden Leaf, had on him, the former traitor Uchiha Sasuke. Although the real reason was far deeper rooted…

"I'll get a new bottle." Came his late response to Shikamaru's implied request and it made the Nara nod appreciatively.

As he walked into the kitchen, Sasuke did not encounter any problems with balance or gravity and yet his head felt slightly off, his thoughts appearing fuzzy around the edges and not clear and focused as they usually were. Who knew what his reflexes would be like? Everything seemed a little slower, duller – a state that ought to be avoided by a shinobi and yet he indulged in it ever so often.

Actually he didn't like the idea of him drinking. Actually he didn't even like the taste. But actually that's not what it was about… Even so it served its purpose for the time being and he was glad to have some distance to all the people and their shallow talk. He could still hear them, despite the closed door. He really didn't know why they all felt like they had to scream at each other, although they were all sitting at the same table.

After rummaging through the kitchen cabinets for a while, he found another bottle of sake, a really expensive one, he was given by some old man, he didn't even know, as a birthday present. However, the prospect of going back to the others didn't strike him as too appealing, so he put the bottle back on the counter instead and walked out on the porch, enjoying the silence and the fresh night air. He took some long, deep breaths to clear his head. There was only the chirping of crickets and the rustling of dry leaves and that was just so much better than that tedious small talk.

Leaning against one of the wooden pillars, Sasuke gazed into the star-studded night sky, when he heard the kitchen door open and close again. Then all went quiet once more. He could sense the other person, though, and he didn't even need to turn around to know who it was.

Nevertheless, the silence remained unbroken and after a while he grew tired of just feeling her gaze on his back and so he asked, "What is it?"

He perceived the rustling of clothes as she stirred at the sound of his voice, but she stayed where she was, taking her time to respond, "You're hiding something."

That finally caught his attention. He looked over his shoulder, sizing Sayuri up from head to toe, as she stood there next to the door, her arms folded in front of her chest.

"So are you."

"Huh?" Her eyes widened, not concealing her surprise.

Had she really been this obvious? And when Sasuke knew she was keeping something secret from him, then why had he never let it show? How come he never even asked?

"Are you gonna tell me?" he asked calmly and turned around, mimicking her posture with his arms crossed in front of his chest, only that his face was devoid of any emotion, while Sayuri mainly looked stunned.

So that's how it was – her secret for his, but was she ready yet to tell him? She would have to do so – sooner or later – but to be honest she preferred later…

"You want to swap secrets?" she nevertheless asked in a cautious tone, while she tried to think of a way to get at his secrets without having to give away her own. But then she already had a fairly good idea of what his was about…

"Hmm… only if it's good," he smirked, while Sayuri's face crumbled.

"It's not good at all!"

Something told him that she wasn't referring to the quality of her secret, but rather her own opinion…

She forced herself to recover her composure, before she'd end up rousing Sasuke's curiosity and decided to go on the offensive instead, "I heard you and Shikamaru talk… You still want to do this, don't you?"

In the darkness his eyes looked like black holes in his pale face and they rested on her for a long moment, before he finally replied, "Yes."

"Tze," she hissed, shaking her head in disbelief, as she thought back of their first argument, as he told her about his stupid plan to hunt down Madara. He never did say that he had changed his mind about that… "You'll just set out tomorrow and that's it? If I hadn't overheard you, would I have ever gotten to know about it?"

"Sayuri-"

"-I can't believe you're doing this again! You left me before, remember? And…and… I don't want you to go," she whined and chewed on her bottom lip. "Please, I need you here. Just who knows how long it will take until you find him or if you find him at all. I can't do without you. You might be ready to go, okay, but I'm not. I'm not ready to lose you yet. I won't let you do this to me again. You can't just leave me here alone with _our_ baby! So please stay… At least until you have any real clues. Please promise you'll stay."

She took a deep breath as she was finally through with her rushed speech and now looked at Sasuke, waiting for his response, but something about the way he looked at her was slightly irritating.

"Are you done?" he asked, appearing entirely unimpressed by her desperate – hysteric – plea.

"Huh?" She looked like a deer, caught in the headlights of a truck and now Sasuke did feel a hint of sympathy for her; maybe even guilt for things he had already done and couldn't take back and things he would still do, although he knew it would hurt her, but it was for the greater good.

With a deep sigh, Sasuke approached the one woman he truly cared about and wrapped his arms very tightly around her delicate frame. And there he stood now, with his chin resting on the top of her head, inhaling the light jasmine scent of her hair, but not saying a word, which only added to Sayuri's confusion.

"Sasuke…?"

"I'm not leaving tomorrow."

"You don't?" She pulled her head back slightly to look into his eyes and find out if he was serious and she'd really, _really_ like to believe that, but just wasn't able to, which is why she pressed her hands against his chest and stepped out of his embrace, while giving him an angry look. "I heard you, okay? At least be so fair and tell me the truth. I probably won't like it, but it's better than being lied to. I'll somehow have to deal with it…"

And when she knew what he was up to, the chances of using the right words in her attempts at talking him out of it were higher…

"I didn't lie," Sasuke said with the patience of a man three-times his age, "I've been waiting for a chance to get to the old stronghold of my clan and I'll have that chance tomorrow. That's it."

"But why?" She frowned and wrapped her arms around her waist tightly, trying to hold on to the warmth of Sasuke's embrace.

"I need to learn more about the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and there is a hidden library where I might find something useful, so I have to get to Sora-ku unobserved, but they won't let me leave the village." His face hardened slightly, making no secret of his disapproval. "But the mission tomorrow at least takes me close to it, so I can make a detour, while Shikamaru covers for me."

Sora-ku? He had talked about it before, but she didn't have the slightest idea where that was and just how far away, but however far, it was away… But it's not like it mattered, seeing as he'd be gone from tomorrow on anyhow and as long as he came back… if he just came back…

"But why don't they let you go? Shouldn't it be in their interest for you to learn more about how to defeat Madara?"

"It should…"

If they trusted him at least…

"Hmm…" Sayuri gave a thoughtful sound. She knew what he was driving at, even without him actually saying it. "And that's it?"

"Hn."

"You won't just decide to get it over with right away?"

"No, Sayuri. I'll only search for all the information I can get, then I finish the mission and come back."

"Promise?" she asked, not yet able to shake off her anxiety altogether.

"Hn." He nodded, holding her gaze until she cast her eyes down.

"You better not lie," she grumbled and slid back into his arms.

"I wouldn't dare to," he said, making Sayuri laugh, before she closed her eyes, feeling as though a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders, but something was still there, something that kept her from enjoying this moment to its full extent.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked after a while. He had even told Shikamaru, whom he had never really talked to before this year, but had kept it secret from her and something about that stung like being pierced by tiny, invisible but no less sharp needles.

"I didn't want you to worry for no reason."

"Yeah… that worked…"

"Hn," he smirked and ran a hand over her smooth hair, pressing her head under his chin with mild force, but she still wasn't quite finished yet.

"Sasuke…?"

"Hmm…?" he sighed, sounding somewhat annoyed by now.

"Will you at least tell me before you go?"

He didn't respond right away and she wondered if his lack of response equalled a negation, but as she was just about to move back, so she could search for the answers in his face, he tightened his grip and raised his voice at length, "Yes… I'll give you your chance to try to stop me."

Although nothing she could say could possibly hold him back. His mind was made up.

"That's all I'm asking for." At least for the moment. "I just… I just don't want to be left in the dark… not again…"

She thought back of the first time Sasuke had left her because of Madara and couldn't help but cling a little tighter to him. That time he went away, it was as though he had taken every bit of solid ground with him and she had just been… _falling_ all the time and didn't know how to stop it. Nothing was the same without him. She couldn't live without him and that's where the problem was. He had so much control over her – it was terrifying.

And yet she wouldn't want it any different…

"We should go back to the others," she murmured and reluctantly lowered her arms, while Sasuke didn't care to copy her gesture.

"Isn't it about time for them to go home?" he asked and glowered into the direction of their living room, not minding the walls that separated them from their visitors.

"You wish," Sayuri smirked and reached for Sasuke's hand to pull him along with her, "C'mon."

They went back into the living room and it didn't seem as though anyone had missed them, which was all the better, since this way no one asked where they had been and it really was nobody's business. When they came back, however, there was nothing that indicated that there's been any trouble between them. They sat huddled together with their son, who had at length fallen asleep and ever so often Sayuri saw Ino give her a smug look, as though she knew she had been right before and knew that they had now made up again. It wouldn't even surprise her if she really did know; she was just really intuitive when it came to these things.

The later the hour, the more they divided into couples – only Neji and Shikamaru were left out, but they didn't seem to mind; with how much they had drunken, they were long past caring, which was also the reason which made them drink in the first place.

After having brought Mikan, the only sober male being in the entire house, to bed, so he wouldn't wake up from the noise made particularly by Naruto and Kiba, Sayuri returned to her place at Sasuke's side. She sat down next to him and wrapped both her arms around his, before pressing a kiss against his cheek.

"Tired?" Sasuke asked in a quiet voice as his girlfriend yawned into his upper arm.

"Nuh-uh." She shook her head, not really convincingly, and snuggled against his shoulder, from where she watched the people around them with no real interest.

"I think she has enough."

"Huh?" Sayuri looked up at Sasuke and followed his gaze to Hinata, but she still didn't understand what he meant. The Hyûga just sat quietly next to Naruto, who had his arm around her shoulder and looked like the happiest man alive and she couldn't help smiling as she saw them. She was really happy for the two of them, but she still couldn't make sense of Sasuke's words.

"What do you mean?" she asked with a puzzled frown, but before Sasuke even had a chance to respond, Hinata keeled over, her head falling on her knees.

* * *

><p>"I will cast my Genjutsu upon all humans living upon the earth's surface. Controlling all of humanity within that Genjutsu, I will become one with the world. It will be a world without hatred and conflict. Everything will be one with me; everything united. That is the Eye of the Moon Plan."<p>

Madara rose to his feet, after having sat down in order to tell his story, while his gleaming red eye burned itself into the memory of his horrified and utterly speechless audience as though it was a glowing ember. The megalomania of his words reflected well in his hate-consumed eyes, making it impossible to suppose his 'plan' was but a mere joke. A sane mind never could fabricate such a lunacy and the fact that he was apparently dead serious made him just all the more dangerous, which was saying quite something.

"Now…" The Uchiha raised a hand in a demanding gesture. "Hand over the remaining Hachibi and Kyuubi and cooperate with my operation. Otherwise, war will be upon us."

"I will not hand over my little brother." The Raikage was the first to find his voice again and gave vent to his anger about such a presumptuous demand by slamming his fist through his table and at this point no one even cared.

"Neither will we surrender Uzumaki Naruto," Tsunade added sharply, appearing so very similar in temper to the Raikage.

"Is this your last word?"

"It is," Gaara said and glared at the leader of Akatsuki; the one because of whom he had nearly died. He had died…

"Very well… In that case I hereby declare the Fourth Ninja World War. The next time we meet, it will be on the battleground."

* * *

><p>"There you go, let it all out," Ino encouraged the retching girl, although she was sure that in her condition Hinata didn't realise anything of what was going on around her and it was probably better that way. Nevertheless, out of regard for the Hyûga, they had locked out all the boys, even Naruto or maybe especially Naruto. They were sure that Hinata wouldn't want him to see her like this; he had seen far too much already anyhow.<p>

And now Ino and Sayuri were here in the bathroom with her. The Yamanaka leaned with her eyes closed against the door, feeling sick from the sour smell of vomit, but determined to stick this out with the Hyûga; even if only by giving her encouraging, but ultimately useless words. Sayuri was kneeling by her side, steadying her by her shoulders, so she wouldn't (again) slip off the toilet lid or worse, rip it out and bump her head (again). She held Hinata's hair back, so it wouldn't land in the toilet, along with her apparently rather meagre dinner, although it probably wouldn't make much of a difference…

It was still incomprehensible how none of the male ninja, sitting by Hinata's side, who were known for their skills, had reacted in time to keep Hinata from falling over. And how she had fallen! Her head came first. It only barely missed the table and landed on her knees, before she had collapsed completely and stretched out on the floor. Her hand, however, had not missed the table and swept it clean of the snacks and glasses, which had all landed on top of her and now she was soaked in alcohol and studded with crumbs and even some shards. Had she been conscious, she would have probably passed right through the ground and let the earth swallow her up.

But by far the most bizarre aspect of the whole situation was that this was Hinata. It was not Ino or her this happened to; not even Neji or Shikamaru who had by far drunken the most, but it was the quiet, mousy Hinata who now hung over the toilet bowl, puking her guts out.

"We can't send her home like this, if her father sees her…" Ino grimaced, mainly because of the noises Hinata made though.

"I know," Sayuri sighed and gave the Hyûga a long look, thinking hard about what to do, but as it was, they could do nothing but wait until her body had ridded itself of the poisonous toxins. "She's shaking like a leaf," she said and rubbed Hinata's back to warm her a little, but as long as she was still wearing her soaked clothes, she could probably rub her as long as she wanted and it wouldn't make a difference.

"I'll get her a jacket and some water," Ino proposed, more than thankful for a chance to be of use but more importantly get out of this room with its sour smell and away from the unbearable sounds of Hinata's retching and moaning. It was just a bit much to bear at two o'clock in the morning and she really admired Sayuri for her strong stomach. Being a mother really had to make you insensitive to such things.

"Get some wet tissues, too. They are in the shelf above Mikan's changing table."

"Okay." Ino nodded and turned around. She opened the door, glad to finally get out of here and once in the corridor, she filled her lungs with clean, uncontaminated air and only then did she realise that she was not alone here.

"How is she?" Naruto at once rushed towards her and watched her through big, anxious eyes. Behind him were all the other guys as well, making the corridor seem awfully crowded.

"Well, what do you think?" Ino snapped and closed her eyes again to fight the lingering nausea. The walls were too thin for them not to know what was going on in the bathroom, so his question was entirely superfluous, but then he was only worried and that with good reason.

"I don't think she's in any condition to go home tonight. It would be best if she stays here," Ino sighed, already sure that this was going to be a long and most unpleasant night. And Sasuke seemed to know so as well; he definitely looked much gloomier now than he always did anyhow.

"That's no good idea at all," Neji intervened, drawing all eyes to him.

"Why not?" Ino frowned at him, as did everyone else, while Neji was battling an inner turmoil; they could literally see the tug of war raging behind his pale lavender eyes.

"Because-" he began, but then paused and gazed at a reflection of them in one of the dark window panes. "Because she has actually not even been allowed to come here. Her father only conceded because I am here, too."

"What do you mean, she was not allowed to come here?" Naruto asked, not even sure if Neji was speaking the same language as the rest of them because what he said sure didn't make any sense.

"She is grounded."

"She is 19 years old," Ino said with emphasis and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "And what could Hinata possibly do to deserve being grounded?"

"I'm not allowed to tell," Neji said bitterly, knowing that the others would probably not be satisfied with his words and right he was. Every bit of composure abandoned Naruto now and he grabbed the Hyûga by his collar and pinned him against the wall.

"Hinata-chan is in there, so drunk that she is puking and you won't even tell us the reason?" Naruto growled, his voice rising in pitch with every single word, "What kind of a friend are you?"

"You are the reason!" Neji spat angrily and pushed Naruto's hand away, while giving the blonde a glare that matched his in terms of venomousness, only that Naruto also looked startled now. "It's all because of you. Someone saw you together and now her father has forbidden her to see you again. You are the reason why she isn't allowed to leave the house and why Hiashi-sama desperately searches for an appropriate husband within our clan. You are also the reason why I have to get married. Happy now?"

* * *

><p><em>The new world ceased to represent itself at its best. He didn't seem surprised, though. He led her through the sordid slums as though he had been here all his life. The roads didn't seem nearly as new to him as they did to her and he didn't seem disconcerted by all the withered flowers strutting up and down the wayside. Colourful on the outside, bleak on the inside.<em>

"_You see them? That is what a woman ought to look like. Look at their body language. They are open. Inviting. Secretive. And what are you? Closed up. Forbidding. As shallow as a puddle."_

_He poked a finger against her pale forehead, pushing her head back. _

_She didn't even blink._

"_Their heads are just as empty as yours is. But they know how to distract from that. Shallowness of mind is a secret better to be kept. Learn from them."_

_He led her up the road, talking about dignity, beauty and submissiveness. As so often, the young girl couldn't concentrate long enough to listen to him. She looked for beauty and especially dignity in all the painted faces surrounding them, but in spite of their smiles they appeared like the sorriest creatures she has ever seen. They looked as miserable as she felt and by the end of the day they managed to make her feel even worse._

_That day she decided she would not grow up. She would not become a woman. She would not resuscitate her clan. It was already considered as foolish not to leave a sinking ship, but this ship had long since sunken. She knew that it was not in the might of the two of them to heave it off the bottom of the sea and she felt no inclination to drown with it and so she would not abide with his plans. She would stay like this forever, for as long as she lived. She would deny her body the nutrition it needed to grow. She would stay a kid, a dwarf. _

_She wouldn't be like them. _

_She would be nobody's wife._

…

…


	16. Worries

**16. Worries**

The room was warm, the air almost stifling and yet Sayuri couldn't help but shiver the moment she again and this time for good broke free from the clinging tendrils of sleep. Not completely though… Even now that she was evidently awake, with her eyes open wide and her heart pounding erratically against the tightness in her chest and her wheezing breath and her clammy hands, even now something was still there, cowering right under her skin, waiting to finally break through and claw its way into her conscious mind.

She still saw the images, still heard the voices and yet she was incapable of holding on to any of these things. The harder she tried to focus and concentrate on what dream, what nightmare, had haunted her all the way into her waking hours, the more it slipped from her mind. It was like trying to hold on to the lapping waves, crashing on the shore, before they retreat again.

Though maybe it was because, despite telling herself otherwise, she didn't even try…

She had learned to live with withheld knowledge and canyon-sized holes in her memory, so maybe she just didn't care to find out what it was that intruded upon her almost every night and stole her sleep, especially when judging from the way it left her feel it couldn't be anything worth remembering. Today even less so than any other day. Not with what happened yesterday…

Even now she still found it hard to believe in the events of yesterday night and that although the undeniable proof was lying there on a futon in the living room, recovering from her previous excess. Hinata has been in such a bad condition that they couldn't possibly have sent her home. Ino and Naruto had meant to stay as well, but she had assured them that there was no need for that; bad enough that one of them was deprived of sleep this night. Besides, they didn't have the necessary means to accommodate so many people. Furniture was still scarce in their home.

Sayuri had spent the greater part of the night monitoring the Hyûga, making sure that she hadn't thrown up again and choked on her own stomach contents. The rest of the night had been reserved for a restless sleep, so no wonder she was tired now, as she lay here in bed, casting envious looks at the peacefully sleeping man by her side – although she wasn't quite sure about the _peacefully_-part. He was moving far too much to seem peaceful, but at least he was sleeping. Though not much longer…

"Sasuke…" Sayuri sighed quietly and moved closer to the dark-haired man. She snuggled against his back and kissed the warm spot between his broad shoulders, but he didn't react, which startled her a little, since he usually had a really light sleep, but then it really was early still.

"Hey…" She propped herself up on her elbow and brushed her long hair over her shoulder, before she gave Sasuke's arm a gentle shake. His dark eyes slowly opened now. He side-glanced at her, but did not move otherwise.

"You have to get up." She placed a light kiss on his shoulder and watched Sasuke roll over to lie on his back and run a hand through his dishevelled hair in a weary gesture. Now at the latest she was sure he was suffering a hang-over. With how much he had drunken yesterday, it wasn't really surprising, but still it unsettled her a little, seeing as he was about to set out on a B-rank mission and then there was still his little side-trip. She almost wished she had listened to Sasuke and said no to Ino – many things would have ended differently then…

"Your mission… is it gonna be dangerous?" she asked hesitantly, unable to just ignore the dark shadows under Sasuke's eyes.

"I'm an Uchiha. The only danger for me is another Uchiha."

You could tell that he really meant that and although his arrogance was something that weirdly enough made him more attractive most of the time, now his attitude only annoyed his girlfriend.

"You shouldn't be so narrow-minded. There are enough strong shinobi around."

"Tze… right…" He gave a dismissive snort and sat up. He moved his legs over the edge of the bed, before he again ran a hand through his hair and rested it on the back of his neck.

Apparently it weren't only other Uchiha but also alcohol that proved dangerous to Uchiha Sasuke.

"Just… be careful, okay?"

"I'm always careful."

"Right…" she snorted, without sounding the least bit convincing, but then neither had he. Still she decided to leave it at that. "You can go and have a shower; I'll make breakfast in the meantime."

She pressed a soft kiss against Sasuke's cheek and then slid off the bed and looked at her sleeping son. He had been up really long yesterday so she thought (or hoped) he would sleep a little longer today.

In the course of their little conversation, she had almost forgotten about their guest, but the moment she entered the living room, last night's events rushed back into the front of her mind and her worries for Hinata returned.

Trying to blind out the sourly smell of the air, Sayuri approached the sleeping girl. It didn't seem as though she had thrown up again in the course of the night, but despite being asleep, she still looked pretty miserable. Her skin was drained of all colour and doused in shadows, her face looked hollow, as though she hadn't eaten in weeks. Poor girl. After all these years, she had finally, finally picked up her courage and told Naruto how she felt about him and now he apparently reciprocated her feelings and you should think they were happy and then something like this happened. First Neji and now Hinata. She had no idea what it was about the Hyûga clan that made them so determined to destroy their children's happiness.

She shook her head sympathetically and tiptoed her way into the kitchen, where she prepared breakfast and a big can of pitch black coffee. Every single one of them could need a good shot of caffeine now. As far as she knew the Hyûga didn't drink coffee, but if she felt anything like she had the last time she's had a hangover, she'd change her mind.

Twenty minutes later, Sasuke joined her in the kitchen. Although he was freshly showered, he still looked exhausted. He sat down at the table and Sayuri handed him a mug of coffee, before placing a glass of water and a small white pill before him without any comment.

"How long will you be gone?" she asked, as she put two bowls, one with miso soup and one with steamed rice, on the table and then fetched another plate with omelette and tomatoes.

"About a week."

"So long…" she sighed and sat down at the other side of the table. She clutched her coffee mug with both hands, holding it close to her face, as though trying to warm herself.

"When all this is over…" Sasuke began slowly but waited until he had Sayuri's full attention before carrying on, "When Madara is no longer a threat, I will join Konoha's police force."

"Really…?" She raised an eyebrow and watched him sceptically. "That's sudden."

"Not really…" After all that's already been his plan, back then before he's known about the hidden agendas of his clan and before his life turned into a catastrophe. "The police was handed to the Uchiha by the second Hokage as a sign of his trust. A trust I should gain back for the sake of our children."

It was something he would do to atone for his sins and those of his family. That's the new path he had chosen. He would cleanse the name of Uchiha of its past, so his family would not be stigmatised as the descendants of traitors and they could have something to be proud of. Apart from that, he'd be home by the end of the day and would not become a stranger in his own house. Once Madara was no more, he could fully concentrate on his family as such and not only their safety.

"You always talk in plural…" Sayuri murmured with a brittle smile on her face and stared at her rippled reflection in the coffee mug.

"I didn't change my mind about that."

"I didn't think you would."

That was the problem.

After that silence fell upon the room like a heavy curtain. Sasuke resumed eating his breakfast, while Sayuri quietly sipped her coffee, her eyes vacant, as though she was staring at something only she could see. He wondered where she was right now, because it was not here.

"You're not eating anything."

"I'm not hungry," she replied almost automatically and did not return from whatever place she was visiting right now.

"You hardly sleep and you lost weight," he remarked casually, but gave Sayuri a sharp look.

"Really?" she asked and brushed a hand across her hair in a nervous gesture. She hasn't had much of an appetite lately and now that she still had that vomit smell in her nose the prospect of eating seemed even less appealing.

"Hn." He nodded. Things were adding up. She's been acting weird lately and although she was obviously determined to hide that from him, it didn't work and made him even more suspicious and there was something else still… "You didn't tell me your secret yet."

"And you are talking rather much today." She gave him an uncomfortable smile. It was rare for Sasuke to initiate a conversation by himself; it was usually her who did so and he responded, but now he had the tables turned and that felt somewhat odd. Especially his way of conversing; he was not asking questions, but made claims and expected her to respond to them. It made her feel as though she was in court.

"And you're evading my question."

"Hmm…" She smirked, before giving him the answer he wanted to hear, "No, I didn't."

"…" He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to carry on.

"Another time." She put him off. "You have to go now, don't you?"

"Hn." He gave a consenting sound, after looking at the clock. He piled up his dishes then and put them in the sink, before he went back to the table and reached his hand out to his girlfriend, who took it after a moment of hesitation and allowed him to pull her to her feet and right into his arms.

"Are you gonna be okay?" he asked and rested his chin on Sayuri's head, while running his hands up and down her back.

"I'm not the one who goes on a B-rank mission with a hangover," she mumbled into his chest and closed her eyes, savouring the moment of closeness – after all she'd have none of it for one whole week.

* * *

><p>It wasn't before afternoon that Hinata finally returned into the world of the living, but found herself incapable of opening her eyes, and so she lay there in the darkness, listening to unfamiliar, but for her liking far too loud sounds, surrounded by repulsive smells and then that acrid taste on her tongue, which felt fuzzy on top of it all. Every single muscle in her body ached and her bones felt so heavy, as though they had been coated in lead and movement seemed like something far beyond the realms of the possible. Actually she wasn't really squeamish when it came to physical ailments, but what she felt now was by all means intolerable. But the worst thing about this was that she had absolutely no idea what made her end up this way. It felt as though there was a whirlwind raging in her head and she couldn't grasp a clear thought amidst all the dizzying spinning and twirling.<p>

Just what in the world happened and where was she?

A quiet, pitiful moaning reached her ears. It had a somewhat disturbing quality and she badly wanted it to stop. It took her a while to realise these sounds were coming out of her own mouth. This realisation, however, sharpened her dull senses, though not enough to make sense of her situation, but at least it bestowed her with the motivation to try and place herself and so she opened her eyes to find the world look fractured and hazy, but bit by bit it stumbled into focus. And she did not recognise the ceiling she was staring at. It was just plain white, but still it made her head ache to stare at it and though she might want to, she couldn't close her eyes. She had to find out where she was.

When she held her breath and concentrated really, really hard, she could hear someone move somewhere to her right, not in this room probably. And wasn't there a baby crying? That sound in particular made her sure that she should know where she was, but in her current condition she couldn't put one and one together, but she tried, and that for longer than she could pride herself with, but then she was relieved from having to rack her brains any longer.

"You're awake."

Hinata tried to turn her head to where she assumed the voice to have come from, but even that little movement sent an unbearable jolt of pain and nausea through her entire body and she still didn't know why.

"Are you feeling any better?"

Probably not. At least she couldn't imagine feeling any worse than this. With a bit of an effort, Hinata managed to shift her eyes to the side and saw Sayuri with Mikan in her arms, but they somehow looked too bright and too colourful, almost unreal. Now she knew though where she was and why she was here. The memories slowly returned, but the essential parts were still missing, although somewhere deep down inside of her she knew, but she just didn't want any of the memories to break through the surface, because she could imagine but not quite believe, what happened. All she wanted was to squeeze her eyes shut and pretend none of the things she denied anyhow happened. Nothing ever happened.

"You should drink something."

Now that she mentioned it, Hinata realised just how thirsty she was; as though she had wandered through the desert all night.

"Uh-huh," she gave a consenting sound that rather sounded like another moan though. She tried to get up then, but gave up halfway.

"Here, this'll make you feel better," Sayuri said calmly and helped Hinata sit up, before she gave her a glass of water and one of the pills from her secret stash. They should make her feel better in no time. And they really did work. Within five minutes the spinning in Hinata's head had slowed down enough for her to sit without assistance and more importantly to sit without feeling like vomiting from the exertion. She was still far away from feeling good, or at least okay, but her condition was definitely on an upward trend and as soon as Sayuri realised so, she no longer hesitated to ask the questions that were flooding her mind ever since the moment that Hinata passed out. But she wasn't good at asking questions. What she was good at was listening, but not talking. When someone was sad, she didn't know how to comfort that person except by being there quietly, with an open ear and a shoulder to lean on, but right now that wouldn't do.

"What's the matter? I didn't even see you drink so much… How could this happen?"

There was real concern in her voice and on her face as well and that just made it all the worse. Hinata couldn't bear to face her right now, couldn't bear her sympathy – not after what happened.

"I don't remember all that much…" she mumbled and lowered her head, but then lifted her arm as she noticed the thick woollen cloth, belonging to a pullover that was definitely not hers.

Noticing Hinata's wonderment, Sayuri explained, "I gave you some of my clothes. Yours were… you know… and you were shaking so much…"

"Oh…" she stammered as it became impossible to deny any longer what happened yesterday and although she was still freezing, her face was suddenly burning hot and she dropped her head on her knees, making Sayuri jump as she was reminded of the previous night. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay, really. Please raise your head." Sayuri put a hand on Hinata's shoulder, beckoning her to sit up again. "We were just worried about you. That's all."

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry for having caused you trouble."

"I know you didn't. It was just… _surprising_." Although with what they knew now, maybe not. "Neji told us about your father."

"What?" Hinata's head shot up at once, so quick that all she could see for a moment were black dots, but once they faded, she merely stared with shock-widened eyes at the violet-haired kunoichi, whose face was brimming with sympathy, but that was of very little comfort to her now. All she felt was a sense of betrayal. How could Neji do this to her? Just what happened yesterday? The last thing she remembered was how all of her thoughts seemed to have slowed down and then she felt really, really tired from one moment to the next and all she wanted was to lie down somewhere and feel comfortable. Then there was a sense of falling and next thing she was gradually dragged awake by the throbbing in her head. That was it. So what happened in the time that only existed as a pitch black abyss in her mind?

"You should have told us. That must have eaten at you since quite some time."

"Does Naruto know, too?"

"Uh-huh," Sayuri nodded heavy-hearted and watched tears fill Hinata's pale eyes.

Now he knew that she hasn't been honest to him; that she has been too cowardly to tell him the truth. Two things he hated – great. It wasn't even like herself. It was completely against her nindo to choose the easy way and yet that's what she did.

"He'll never forgive me."

"Are you kidding?" Sayuri asked, and only now did Hinata realise that she had actually said that out loud, which she hadn't intended. "Of course he will forgive you! He's head over heels in love with you. But you should come clean with him. Naruto is very understanding, you know?"

Maybe he was, but that didn't change anything about the fact that she was a coward and a liar. Maybe he would forgive her, but how should she forgive herself? He deserved better than this.

* * *

><p>There wasn't much more to get out of her. Hinata remained drawn in on herself and just quietly sipped her unsweetened coffee, as she waited for her hangover to finally wear off. Right now she was taking a shower, while Sayuri was in the garden, taking the laundry off the line. She had still washed Hinata's clothes yesterday and thanks to the warm weather, they were already dry and so Hinata could go back home in the same clothes she had worn when coming here. Although that was probably the least of their problems…<p>

They had decided to throw Neji into the lion's den and have him tell his uncle that they – meaning the girls – were doing a sleepover. A rather flimsy excuse, but they were all filled in and ready to lie – he could ask whoever he wanted and they would all tell him the same story, so she should be given the benefit of the doubt. In a perfect world perhaps…

She would later bring Hinata home, so she could act as her alibi – that was all they had been able to come up with. Hard to believe that this plan actually had its origin in Shikamaru's brain…

"We should about go now, before it gets too late," Sayuri said to a now freshly showered and freshly dressed Hinata. She didn't look too well, still – though not like she had spent the night hanging over the toilet bowl, but merely tired. That was probably better than nothing.

"Uh…" The Hyûga left it at nodding her head. She hadn't spoken much all day, but that did not come as a surprise. She doubted she was still suffering the full effects of her hangover; it were the memories of last night that tormented her. Shame is what kept her mouth shut and her head lowered.

"You know, maybe you should try and look a little less guilty when you get home."

"I really am sorry for all the inconveniences I caused you."

"I told you its okay." Sayuri waved her off, but then gave the Hyûga a sharp look. "As long as _you_ are okay…"

"…" Hinata did not miss the unspoken question in Sayuri's words, but just couldn't get herself to answer it; although she knew that she owed her friend much more than that.

"When we don't hear from you in 24 hours, we'll storm the Hyûga mansion and get you out of there," Sayuri joked, trying her best to create a somewhat lighter atmosphere, but Hinata's face remained impassive as stone. When she spoke, though, her voice was full of emotion.

"Sayuri-chan?"

"Huh?" She looked up, after having put Mikan in his buggy.

"Thank you." The Hyûga inclined her head with her hands clasped in front of her and her eyes directed to the ground humbly, which made the whole gesture appear like yet another apology.

"I told you to raise your head, didn't I?" Sayuri chided with a gentle smile on her face. "Now, you're ready to go home?"

Something about her own words troubled her or rather the story that unfolded within her mind after saying them out loud. The place you refer to as home is supposed to be a place of shelter and comfort, but after everything that happened and everything she's heard, she wondered if Hinata ever felt that way about her home. Sayuri knew from own experience what it was like not to feel like going home from time to time, but she could by no means imagine what it felt like to actually be afraid of it.

With this point she was wrong, however. Hinata was not afraid. Once you've hit the bottom there was no more reason to fear falling.

* * *

><p>Later that day, after having brought Hinata home, Sayuri was again sitting in the garden, folding her remaining laundry in the last rays of the sun. It was hard for her to enjoy them, though. She just couldn't get that last scene at the Hyûga mansion out of her head. In accordance with their plan, she had brought Hinata home and once they had only been close, Hinata's father had stepped out of the front gate to receive them and probably keep her from entering. He had given both her and his daughter a cold reception. Just the way he had looked at her and her buggy… She must appear like a mighty bad influence to him. He didn't even greet any of them, but said he wanted to have a word with his daughter and then she's had no choice but to leave; to abandon her friend…<p>

Ever since then she couldn't get rid of this nagging feeling of guilt. And that although she knew that Hinata would have had to face her father sooner or later; there was nothing she could have changed about that. She just wished there would have been more she could have done for her… Who knew when they'd see her again? If she was grounded again? She wondered how she was doing right now… She'd ask Neji the next time she saw him. It was rather doubtful that she'd see Hinata any time soon… Poor girl…

"Hey, put that down," Sayuri chided her son, who had crawled to the edge of the blanket she had spread on the ground for him and was now ripping out some tufts of grass, instead of playing with one of his various toys. "I'm serious, Mikan. Put. That. Down."

Of course he did not do what his mother told him. All he did was glance at her with a huge, mischievous smile on his face as he slowly, very slowly, brought the grass to his lips.

"Don't you dare put that in your mouth."

He accepted the challenge and quickly stuffed the grass into his mouth. As he saw his mother rise to her feet, he crawled away with a choked squeal, but despite having the speed of a turtle out of water, he didn't get far before Sayuri scooped him up and began pulling the grass out of his mouth.

"Seriously, when I make spinach for you, you won't even touch it and now you eat _grass_?" She shook her head in exasperation and pried his lips apart with two fingers to make sure she had gotten out all the green stuff. "C'mon, we'll go and eat something proper."

She started walking inside, leaving his things and her laundry where it was, but Mikan didn't think much of that idea and showed her so in the only way he was able to: he started to cry. And he cried on and on. He would not eat anything and he would not let himself be calmed and as Sayuri had just about reached the end of her tether, he fell asleep from the exhaustion. It was a bit early for him still, but she was glad that he was finally quiet and brought him to bed, before she went outside to bring in the things, she had left in the garden.

By the time she was back in the living room, Mikan was screaming again.

"What is it now…?" she sighed and put the piles of laundry down on the coffee table, before she made her way to the source of the noise. However, the sight which was offered to her, made her stop in her tracks at once. "Mikan, you're standing!"

After the initial surprise had faded, Sayuri wasted no time to rush to his crib and knelt down before it. She ran her fingers across his fists that were tightly wrapped around the bars of his bed and were white and quivering from the strain, same as his chubby knees, which seemed far too unsteady to support his weight and yet that's what they did. His face was beet red and he was sobbing with exhaustion and yet he looked so proud, as though he had just climbed the highest mountain in the world and now waited for the proper admiration.

"That's amazing," she said with awe and smiled stupidly at her son, finding it hard to believe what she was seeing. It seemed like it was only yesterday that he had first managed to raise his head by himself and now here he was standing. He just looked so much tinier upright, like a shrunken adult; her baby boy was growing up.

"You really fit into the family. Another handsome Uchiha genius…" She beamed at her son and loosened his fingers from the bars, before she picked him up and covered his face with kisses. "Just you wait till your father sees you. He'll be soo proud. Let's keep it a secret, though, okay? We won't talk about it and once daddy gets back, you'll show him yourself. Deal?"

She gave him a businesslike shake of the hand, before she let another deluge of kisses rain down on his tear stained face. She'd just act like she hadn't seen it yet, so Sasuke could be the first one to discover his son's new ability. She was sure it would make him really, really happy. It would still take Sasuke about a week, maybe even longer, to come home, but she was quite sure that even after seeing it for the thirtieth time, she would still be as amazed as she was now, so she hoped she'd be able to fool him. God, he was gone for no more than half a day and she could barely wait for him to come home again. Couldn't wait to see his face…

Mikan began struggling in her arms, so she put him down and watched him climb to his feet again, cooing with pride and crying with exhaustion, but every time she put him down he would stand up again and so they turned it into a little game, until he finally fell asleep, but not before he drank a bottle of milk and then threw it up on her back.

This really wasn't her day…

She's been rather torpid all day, which wasn't really surprising in consideration of what a night she's been through, but now, after having taken a long, hot shower, she felt ready to go to bed, but it was still far too early for that. She was done, though, with all the housework she had meant to do and Mikan was sleeping, so she actually had some free time now. Something that was entirely too rare and now she didn't know what to do with herself.

The sun was just setting and the remaining light was predominantly red. It made the walls look like they were on fire, but the shadows were already gaining ground. The house was so quiet and just now, everything felt about twice as big and at least three times as empty. The weight of loneliness was crushing.

Sayuri put on her bathrobe and combed her wet hair. The smooth silk felt cool against her warm skin, but that didn't make much of a difference, since the room was thick with hot steam, making it hard to breathe. She opened the window up wide and leaned out, taking a few deep breaths of the fresh evening air, before she made her way into the kitchen to drink some water and cool down from the inside as well.

By the time she returned into the living room, she knew that something wasn't right.

* * *

><p>A pale orange strip of light slipped into the bare hallway, illuminating the swirls of dust briefly, before it was shut out again as Naruto closed the door behind him. Not in his best spirits, he tossed his backpack into a corner, listening to the clank of weapons and food conserves, as it collided with the wooden floor.<p>

The sudden noise was followed by silence, the very kind of silence that had made itself at home in the few rooms he called his own. It was an unwelcome inmate and he often tried to drive it off by talking to the walls or himself, but it appeared more persistent than he was and he often felt like a subtenant in his own house. An intruder even, just like now as his deliberately loud steps competed with a presence larger than his own. Maybe he should get a cat or better still a parrot.

He took off his jacket and removed his forehead protector, then stretched out on the sofa and stared at the ceiling, trying to make sense of the past events, the reason he was now here in the first place, but more importantly he just couldn't get Hinata out of his mind. He hadn't seen her since yesterday. If he weren't afraid of getting her into even more trouble, he would go and see her now. He just _had_ to talk to her about what was going on, but right now spontaneity was uncalled for. Although it was nothing like him, he'd have to think before he acted, because otherwise it were the people dear to him who would suffer the consequences of his impulsiveness. So what was he to do now?

It seemed like he had only just lain down with the intention of coming up with a plan, when he heard a loud and hurried knocking at his door.

"Coming," he called out and although he didn't feel like it, he sat up and first ran a hand through his blonde hair, while the knocking wouldn't cease and made him rather disinclined to answer the door. He really had better things to do right now…

"Damn it, I hear you," he groused and slouched to the door, which he then pulled open, only wide enough to have a peek at who was standing in front of it. Judging from that he'd decide whether he'd open it completely or slam it shut again.

"Gai-sensei?" he asked, but was only given a bright smile in response, before the door was pushed open from the outside and his home was invaded by two persons.

"Yamato-taichô, you too?"

Now things might get interesting after all.

"Get ready, Naruto-kun. We have a mission."

"A mission?" Naruto's eyes were wide with disbelief, but narrowed quickly as a growing sense of suspicion arose in him. There were more than enough things that stroke him as odd about this situation. "And what do you mean _we_?"

Yamato watched how the Uzumaki took on a defensive posture and he couldn't blame him for it. Everyone treated him like a raw egg, so of course this apparent change of strategy looked fishy to him.

"The three of us and four other men, but we have no time to talk about this now-"

"But what about Sasuke and Sakura?" They were a team after all. "Are they coming, too?"

"We don't need them for this mission," Yamato said and gave Naruto a hard look, as though he was trying to hypnotise him. "You are the only one who can do this, Naruto."

"Oh? So you need me now, huh?" He tried to act disinterested, offended even, and that's how he felt, but it just didn't work – he was far too excited. Something only he could do… that sounded like a challenge at length! "What exactly do you need me for then?"

"That doesn't matter now. We don't have time, so get your things," Yamato said and glanced at Gai who seemed to have taken to investigating Naruto's house or rather the chaos inside.

"But what do I have to take with me? How long will we be gone and where are we going, anyway?" Naruto asked and rushed to the backpack he had so carelessly flung aside before. It was still packed and full of clean clothes and untouched provisions.

"The mission will take several weeks. Prepare for changeable weather."

"Several weeks?" Naruto stopped in his tracks and spun around to his team-leader. At first he didn't get any missions at all and now they wanted to send him away for several weeks? What's wrong with that? And besides, he had some unfinished business here in the village, so he couldn't just up and leave for who knows how long. "I have to see Hinata first. She-"

"No Naruto," Yamato interrupted him. "We need to hurry, so pack your things. You have five minutes and then we'll leave."

"But-" Naruto meant to protest, but Yamato turned his back on him, making clear that he was in no mood for discussion. "Tsk", he gnawed his teeth and peered into his backpack, when he felt a sudden pressure on his shoulder. When he looked up, he stared right into Gai's smiling face and it was his hand that now rested on his shoulder.

"Naruto-kun, I hope you're not seasick."

* * *

><p>It was just a feeling and Sayuri had no idea what had caused it, but to a shinobi intuition was just as essential as knowledge or any of the other five senses. So although there might be no actual reason for it, a strange sense of foreboding pricked her just below the level of consciousness. Something she couldn't quite identify, but it left her feel uneasy. It's not like she felt a distinct sense of danger – it's just that <em>something<em> was different from before. And in the face of the current situation she couldn't help but put her guard up and it was this way of thinking that made every shadow in the house appear hostile and daunting. Night was an unwelcome friend just now – it always was when she was home alone.

She was probably overreacting. It wouldn't be the first time. She was tired and still upset from yesterday, so it didn't seem too far-fetched for her overwrought mind to play tricks on her. But what if not? She was unwilling to take any risks because of simply dismissing her intuition as a result of insomnia. These days carelessness was not an option.

That is why, to be on the safe side, Sayuri went to one of their many weapon stashes, which were scattered all through the house, and took out a kunai. The familiar feeling of cold metal under her fingers was at least a little reassuring. It was a simple dagger, a part of the basic equipment, but it was no less lethal for that. That is what she told herself, over and over again to conquer every trace of anxiety, as she moved with the litheness of a cat towards the bedroom. The bedroom where her helpless little son was sleeping, which was something she really shouldn't think about or else she'd end up storming to her son's aid without the slightest bit of caution, which would, in the worst case, seal her own and also Mikan's fate.

Quietly, she sneaked towards the door. She had left it half open, so she'd hear Mikan when he woke up and it still looked just like she had left it. She gave the wood a careful push, knowing that it was prone to creak. With held breath she waited for the sound and was relieved beyond measure as it remained absent. With the blinds shut and only night pressing against the narrow gaps between them, the room was doused in nearly perfect darkness. There was no sound, although the silence seemed to be screaming. Everything appeared normal enough, but it was this discrepancy between reality and her feeling which troubled Sayuri even more.

She took two quick steps inside, ending up just beyond the cone of light which creeped in through the door, though she didn't think that concealing her presence was really necessary at this point. Was still not sure if she wasn't hunting a product of her imagination…

Fortunately she was blessed with excellent night vision, so there was no need for her to turn the light on or move away from her spot in the shadows to look out for her son. It was enough for her to rise on tiptoe, so she could peer into his crib and she felt a great sense of relief to see that Mikan was still lying there, fast asleep, with no suspicious looking silhouettes or shadows around him.

She pushed the door a little farther open, allowing more light to flood into the room and reveal nothing out of the ordinary. It was nothing after all. However, the moment that thought ran through her head the dim feeling from before increased tenfold and she could literally feel a presence as though it was right beside her.

"Who's there?"

She raised her kunai, her eyes darting from corner to corner, shadow to shadow, when she caught sight of some movement behind her. With no hesitation, she let her dagger, her lethal weapon, follow, even before she had a chance to turn around and somehow ended up with her kunai at her own throat.

_Shit, shit, shit_! she cursed internally, as her other arm was twisted behind her back and she was immobilised. Her heart jackhammered in her throat and she frantically tried to think of a way to free herself before she'd get Mikan out of here, but right now her mind was blank. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Why did they have all these fancy alarms and what have you, when they didn't work? If only she could get to the drawer with the lightning grenades, but without a free hand that was fairly impossible.

With her hands locked in a relentless grip, Sayuri saw no other option but to kick the stranger, but as she only lifted her foot to gain momentum, he pulled her hard against his chest and the pain in her twisted wrist made her forget about her plan briefly.

And she was all alone.

"What do you want?" she asked and blinked the tears from her eyes, unable to think of anything or anyone but her son. If something happened to him it would be her fault and though she was willing to give anything for him, even her life if it couldn't be helped, it wouldn't do just now. Sasuke wouldn't come home soon and there was hardly anyone in the village, so who knew if anyone would miss her? And when no one missed her, no one would come here, which meant Mikan would be alone here for weeks, locked away in his crib, screaming his throat raw and probably-

- she didn't even want to think about what would happen to him if he was all alone here. But who was this guy and what did he want, anyway?

"You."

She felt his warm breath against her ear, but his response sent cold shivers down her spine. As his lips followed then, briefly brushing her earlobe, she was frozen in place and even as he loosened her fingers from her kunai and removed it from her throat, leaving her skin unscathed, she was unable to move and make use of her newly acquired mobility. He had to be very sure of himself and apparently he had every reason to. She had lost all control of her body. This whole situation seemed so unreal, almost ridiculous. And although she was literally paralysed, she didn't feel scared, not too much at least. Mostly she was glad that this was not the worst case scenario they had always talked about. This man was not Madara and he was not after Mikan, but that didn't mean she was off the hook yet.

_Okay, calm now_, she tried to encourage herself and took a deep breath, but nearly choked on it, as the intruder pushed her hair behind her shoulder and murmured into her ear, "You've been attentive… but next time don't stand in the doorframe."

_No way!_ Was all she could think, as a kiss landed on the side of her neck and she really did feel like delivering the kick from before now, after all. "Sasuke!"

She pushed herself out of his arms and turned around, giving her rather amused seeming boyfriend an incredulous and definitely angry glare. "What the hell- I almost had a heart attack! That was so not funny!"

"Hmm," he shrugged, but he still looked far too smug, which made her doubt that he shared her opinion and she didn't know what she should do now. Laugh? Cry? Throw a tantrum? Kicking him still ranked pretty high on her list, but first things first.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd be gone for at least a week."

"The mission was cancelled."

"Why?"

"…" He shrugged again. Then a weird look flitted across his face and he brushed his hand across her cheek, regarding her with a frown on his face. "Are you crying?"

"Wha- No! No, I'm not." She shook her head quickly and slapped his hand away. "You twisted my wrist, you jerk." She lifted her arm to show him the red fingerprints he had left on her skin, before she rubbed her wrist for emphasis and maybe to make him feel bad about the show he had pulled off. His humour really sucked. "You really scared me."

"You didn't realise it was me?" he asked and although he was in no position for it, he almost sounded accusing or that's what she heard in his words.

"N-no," she stammered. "I didn't expect you to be home and all I could think of was how I'd get Mikan out of here."

He should take it as a compliment that it never even crossed her mind that he would do something as mean as this…

"And what would you have done?"

"I don't know." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared over her shoulder at the crib, so she wouldn't have to look at Sasuke. "I couldn't think of anything."

"That would be fatal if you go on an ANBU mission."

"Haven't you amused yourself enough at my expenses yet?" She rolled her eyes and tried her best to swallow down her anger. However, she was not angry because he was making fun of her, but because he was right. Standing right in the doorway and exposing her back really wasn't a clever thing to do and then having a black out when it mattered wasn't much better either. "I really need to start training again."

She focused her attention on Sasuke again, expecting him to respond, but he didn't. All he did was look through her, but at least that smug look had vanished from his face now.

"Will you help me? It's hard to do actual combat training without a partner."

In the past months, the only _real_ training she had done was in that week she had spent with Team Gai. Apart from that, she had tried to rebuild her stamina and gain back her flexibility, but she had neglected exercises to build up strength, although her physical strength has always been her greatest weakness, but they were so exhausting…

"Sasuke?" She tried to get his attention as he didn't respond and finally she could see something in his eyes return into the here and now, but his expression told her that he didn't think much of her idea and as it seemed she was right.

"There's no need to. I'm here now."

End of discussion.

* * *

><p>Something was happening.<p>

In the last few days every single mission has been cancelled and no new ones have been distributed. It seemed as though every single shinobi of Konoha was in the village, like they were hoarding their soldiers, something that did not go unnoticed. No one knew what was happening though, and that's what made people nervous.

Looking back, it started gradually, smoothly, covertly, which is why most of the villagers failed to pick up on the changes so far. However now, all these previous features, the precautions, seemed to have been abolished and people were beginning to notice. They were asking questions, but no one seemed either empowered or willing to give them an answer.

These days, you could feel some kind of subliminal tension wherever you went and you could not visit a shop or pub without hearing the wildest hypothesis about what was happening. The fact that the Hokage was currently out of the village only added fuel to the flames of gossip.

Sayuri was always glad when she got away from those hordes of pessimists with their tireless tongues. She was good enough at thinking up doomsday scenarios for the future, so she didn't need pieces of other people's imagination to add details to her already far too multifarious fabrications. That is why she often sought ways to distract herself, far away from people who couldn't keep to themselves to save their lives. Her decision to take up training again, really came in handy, though she rarely trained with Sasuke, because it amounted to nothing. It wasn't like back then when he trained her in order to make her strong enough to look after herself – now he rather wanted to keep her weak so she wouldn't even get herself in situations that required her to defend herself. That's what she made of his behaviour at least and since he had said himself that he didn't want her to be a ninja any longer, her guess was not made of thin air. Since he and just about everyone else were currently in the village though, she left the babysitting to him and looked for someone else she could train with. Actually she had hoped to convince Neji to act as her tutor, but she hadn't seen him since their party – neither him nor Hinata.

Right now, it was Sasuke's turn to have some baby-free time and he didn't tell her where he went to, but then he never did unless she asked. As so often, Ino was here, for no apparent reason, other than being sociable and playing with Mikan. It often felt as though she didn't come here for Sayuri's company but Mikan's. Or maybe Ino came over so often because she had a passion for storming out of the door in the middle of an argument she was about to lose and their door was always open

They were in Mikan's room, which looked more like a storeroom actually and were sorting through the cardboard boxes, making a pile of things that could be thrown or given away and those which they'd keep, to get some order into the chaos and make it look like an actual child's room. After all, Mikan was growing bigger by the minute it seemed and maybe it was about time for him to depart their bedroom and move into his own room, which was at least right next to theirs, but she was still anxious because of the wall that would keep her from seeing how he was doing right away and Sasuke's little joke hadn't really made that better.

"Oh, look at this!" Ino squealed and fished a tiny playsuit in light blue out of one of the boxes and held it into the air.

"That's the one he wore as we came out of hospital," Sayuri said and smiled with a faraway look on her face.

"No way, you really fitted into this?" She turned to Mikan who was crawling across the carpet and laid the playsuit on his back. Even his head seemed bigger than the entire suit!

"Hard to believe, huh?" Sayuri asked and watched Mikan sit up as he noticed the additional weight on his back. He then reached for the fluffy piece of cloth and waved it about, until Sayuri scooped him up in her arms and pressed a big kiss on his head.

"How did you tell Sasuke?" Ino asked. "That you're pregnant I mean."

"I didn't. Actually he told me-no, he didn't," she corrected herself, "that was Suigetsu and then I spent the next days crying."

It felt as though she had spent most of her pregnancy crying, when it has been supposed to be the happiest time of her life.

"Well… if he should ever ask you about it when he's older, you should better revise that story, seriously…"

"Probably…" Sayuri agreed.

"How will you do it next time?"

"N-next time?"

"Sure." Ino grinned. "Don't tell me you are done already. I bet Mikan wants lots and lots of brothers and sisters, don't you buddy?"

She tickled Mikan's stomach, making him squirm and laugh loudly, while Sayuri's face was frozen, something that did not go by unnoticed.

"Sayuri? Is something wrong?"

Maybe she should tell her. The whole thing was eating at her since quite some time and if she didn't let it out soon she would burst. And maybe she could try it now with Ino, so she'd be ready to tell Sasuke. After all it concerned him as much as it did her. She was just afraid of the implications…

She took a deep breath, bracing herself. "You know… I-"

Just as she started talking the alarms went off.

* * *

><p><em>By the end of yet another unremarkable day they entered a smoky tavern. It didn't really look like a place for minors, didn't look like a place for law-abiding citizens in general. Dazed by the gentle smoke, the young girl walked after the last link to her old life, loathed maybe, but indispensable nonetheless. <em>

_They sat down and he ordered food and drinks, but while he ate with haste, the young girl only stared vacantly ahead, without even sparing a single glance at her own plate. The last time she had eaten was days ago, but she didn't feel hungry, which strengthened her in her belief that she was doing the right thing. Mind over matter. Maybe she wasn't as weak-willed as she had thought or maybe her body had become too brittle to make any demands._

"_Eat," he commanded, the way he always did. "We have a long journey ahead of us and I will not let you slow me down."_

_She barely heard him, it didn't seem necessary. She was only talked to, it wasn't her duty to talk back._

"_Eat," he repeated, louder this time. Not willing to let her silence defeat him._

_As her eyes were only about to focus, a spoon full of food was forced into her mouth. She fought the urge to gag and started chewing, seeing him nod, pleased with himself._

_Then she spat the food into his face._

_The look of self-satisfaction froze on his face, leaving it cold and blank, as her half-chewed food crumbled off his cheek._

_His fist nailed her down even before she had a chance to realise what she had just done. She found herself lying on the wooden floor, amidst cigarette ashes and muddy footprints, a grave for the living. There was no pain and so her face did not show any emotions as she struggled back up in the focus of quite a few indifferent faces and resumed her old posture as though nothing had happened._

"_I will no longer indulge your behaviour. Mark my words."_

_It was a tacit rule in such places for everyone to mind their own business and so there was no sound but their guilty silence and that of blood dripping into her cup, turning her water to wine._

…

…


	17. News of war

**17. News of war**

"Oh God! Is that the signal for an attack?" Ino screamed over the noise of the howling sirens and stared with wide eyes from side to side, not even sure where or what to focus on. The sound seemed to come from every side all at once and since she was sitting on the floor, she wasn't able to look out of the window anyway and just now the idea of getting up didn't even cross her mind. Far too busy was she with trying to will away the heart-attack that was bound to strike her any moment now.

A cold blue light flashed on and off, on and off, a sequence of stroboscopic flickering, casting odd shapes and shadows on the walls. Frightened by the sudden din and the glaring light and all these eerie figures, writhing around them in a spasmodic dance, Mikan began to scream, adding yet another layer of noise to the already existing and all too unnerving one.

"I don't think so…" Sayuri shook her head and pressed her crying son close to her chest, holding his ears shut. "I think it's the one for an announcement."

Which didn't exclude Ino's assumption, but that was something she'd rather not think about.

"C'mon, we should hurry."

* * *

><p>Once outside, the two women already saw many people head towards the Hokage building. Some made no secret of their trepidation, whilst others tried to hide these feelings behind laughter and jokes, but they couldn't do a thing about the tension which had built up gradually in the course of the last week. The villagers were scared and unhappy about being kept in the dark for such a long time and there was something in the air. The dissatisfaction had been simmering lately and was now about to boil over. People wanted answers and they wanted them now.<p>

A strange picture they made, striding there in the flickering blue light, like an underworld parade, engulfed in cold blue flames. They lined up in the death march, but kept to themselves, too upset to add their share to the wild hypothesises sounding from every side.

Just now, Sayuri almost regretted having come here. It was her duty to. The blue light meant that everyone had to assemble at the market place and she was far too curious to ignore such a call. But there were so many people and she had Mikan with her and was a little worried about him. Just now the crowd was moving slowly enough, but what if something happened? If someone before them fell or she fell herself? She was feeling rather unwell at the moment. There was so much noise and heat and then the light, which could become dangerous for an epileptic, and she could already feel the onset of a headache, always starting there at the back of her skull and then travelling to her eyes and she had nothing here to fight it; nothing but her willpower.

They weren't even close to the Hokage towers yet, only just in sight, when the crowd came to a halt. The market place was already brimming with people and there was no way to move any closer. The volume of the sirens had been turned down, even while they had still been walking, but even if that hadn't been the case, the noise would have been drowned out by the babel of voices, not unlike the buzzing surrounding a beehive. It was like a loud, but unintelligible humming. There was only one distinct question that seemed to echo from every direction, coming out of every single mouth and yet it was never answered.

_What is going on here?_

"Ino?" Sayuri asked and turned to the blonde woman beside her, who looked uncommonly pale, almost alarmingly so. "Are you okay?"

"…" All Ino did was nod, without ever taking her eyes off the red building, as though only blinking might make her miss something crucial.

"Let's stand over there, okay?" She had her arms wrapped around her crying son, so she only nodded towards a doorway, a couple of metres farther back. They were so far back anyhow that it shouldn't matter and there were a few less people there and something to lean against. Only advantages.

"Yes," Ino replied, without even having looked at her or the place she wanted to go to; she wasn't even sure if she had understood her at all, but as Sayuri started walking, she trotted after her like a puppy and stopped the moment she stopped as well.

Ino at once turned back around to resume staring at the Hokage building, although nothing was happening yet, while Sayuri sat down on the low step before the door and leaned against the wall, allowing the cool stones to absorb her body heat. With her eyes pinched shut, she started rocking Mikan on her lap to calm him, concentrating on the motion and the blackness behind her closed lids to distract herself from the throbbing in her head. It seemed like there was also another person who needed calming and distraction…

Sighing, she opened her eyes and watched Ino wring her hands. She seemed to be entirely beside herself. "You don't look well."

"…No…" she replied without turning around.

"It'll be okay, you'll see. Maybe Tsunade just made some new friends and brought them here. She always talked about forging new alliances, didn't she? And she should be back by now."

This was a rather unlikely story, but it seemed to cut through to Ino.

"Y-yes," she stammered, the movement of her hands becoming a little slower, but it did not cease.

"Or maybe it's just another emergency drill. We've never been without the Hokage yet, so maybe they just want to see how we'll do when we're all on our own."

"Maybe," Ino said and glanced back at Sayuri briefly, until she heard someone call their names and spun back around at once.

"Kiba!"

The moment her boyfriend was within reach, Ino threw herself into his arms and held him so tightly as though she feared he would vanish if she didn't.

"Hey there," Kiba said and rubbed her back, a little taken by surprise by her exuberant greeting.

"I'm so glad you're here," she mumbled into his shirt, but was forced to look up, as Kiba pushed her face up and frowned at her. After all, this wasn't exactly common behaviour for his girlfriend. "You okay?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "How did you find me?"

"Tze," Kiba sneered, offended she even had to ask. "I've got a good nose, remember? Finding you was a piece of cake. You smell like roses and those fluffy white flowers… you know, the ones that look like a cloud."

"Meadowsweet?" Ino asked with a tentative smile on her face.

"Guess so…" Kiba shrugged. "I'd recognise your smell anywhere."

"Show-off," Ino grinned, sounding a lot more like herself now. "I'm surprised you even know what a rose smells like."

She finally released Kiba out of her embrace, but she kept on holding his hand within both of hers.

"I wonder what this is all about…"

They all turned their heads to the side as their little group was joined by two more men.

"Suigetsu, Juugo."

The last time Sayuri had seen the latter of the two has been quite a while ago and that although he didn't even live far away from them. She knew that Sasuke met him frequently, but Juugo never came to their house. He was far too afraid of their new family member or rather afraid of what he might do to this fragile being, in case he lost control, although that happened only two or three times since he was here in Konoha, or so she heard.

"Good to see you again," Sayuri gave the huge man a warm smile and turned Mikan around on her lap, so he could look at the people around them.

"Good to see you, too," Suigetsu said, although she clearly hadn't addressed him. He approached the young mother, seeming utterly casual, when no one else did within the terrified crowd. "Hey buddy. What's with the puffy face?" He pinched Mikan's nose, making the small boy laugh away his tears and flail around with his arms, all in good spirits now.

While Suigetsu was as casual as if this was nothing but a little tea-party, Juugo was about as tense as Ino had been before Kiba's arrival. He stood at a safe distance to them and kept his eyes fixed on Mikan, whom he was seeing for the first time since about three months. Sayuri saw an uncertain smile tug at his lips and couldn't help returning it. Then he took a step back and averted his eyes. He'd probably never fully trust himself.

"There they come," Suigetsu said and also leant back against the wall of the building, while everyone else was rigid now. From one moment to the next, all you could see were the backs of heads, as everyone almost simultaneously turned around, keeping their eyes glued on the balcony, on top of the highest tower, where now Tsunade, directly followed by the two members of the village's council, appeared. Shikamaru's father and Kakashi were there, too, standing a little behind the Godaime. She was even wearing the white hat with the fire symbol on it, which she actually detested, so this had to be something really serious.

She stood there a while, letting her eyes roam across the agitated crowd. Then she lifted her hand and it became so quiet that you could hear the heartbeat of the people next to you.

"I would very much like to bring you good news from the Kage Summit, but I cannot do so."

There was no point beating around the bush, so Tsunade decided to get this over with as quickly as possible – quick and painful like ripping off a band-aid. It would be hard enough as it was. There was not one person in the village that has been left unaffected by the events of last summer and now another stroke of fate was about to destroy what little peace these people had experienced lately.

"As I am sure you will have already heard from one source or another, there have been rumours about sightings of Akatsuki agents. These rumours are confirmed now. In the course of the Summit, Uchiha Madara himself appeared and declared war on the whole ninja world-"

During her speech the initial silence has been disrupted once in a while, but after these last words the air was full of sounds, rather than words. People were gasping, moaning and emitting other noises characteristic for fear. And this time when Tsunade lifted her hand the crowd did not go quiet again.

It was just too much to process at the moment.

A war! And not just a simple war between two nations, but another Great War, like those in the past that eradicated whole generations and left children without parents and wives without husbands and some unfortunate individuals without anyone or anything at all. War meant death and destruction, regardless of which side you're fighting on and it was hard for the people in the village to remain quiet and carry on listening to their Kage's words as they were again faced with the prospect of losing what they had worked so hard to rebuild– much worse still lose the things that could not be rebuilt. They could not expect another Pain to come and revive the dead again.

There had to be a babel of voices. People were opening and closing their mouths like fish out of water, but she could not hear a thing. Her heart was pounding loud enough to extinguish the noise of everything around her. Something was all wrong. It felt as though she had been here before, lived through the very same situation and her attempts of sifting through her mind in search for anything to account for this eerie notion, made it hard to hold on to reality. Although what was said right now would determine her near future.

Akatsuki…

Madara…

A war…

In the span of an afternoon everything had changed.

It was all too much.

There really was no point for Tsunade to carry on talking now, seeing as no one was listening anyhow, so she decided to end this quickly and leave the villagers their time to digest the news, as far as that was even possible. "Security will be tightened immediately and all missions are cancelled for the moment. Following people are to stay behind and come to my office: Morino Ibiki, Hyûga Hiashi, Yamanaka Inoichi, Uchiha Sasuke and Nara Shikamaru. The others – return to your homes, finish your unfinished business, take the time to contemplate whether you will fight or be evacuated. You'll get detailed information tomorrow 5 o'clock."

Then she retreated.

At the mentioning of Sasuke's name, Sayuri had been catapulted back into the here and now. For a moment she wondered what they could want from him, but then it became obvious; after all this was about his last relative – the only other Uchiha… Still she wondered where he was now… She knew where he would be in a few minutes, but where had he been before and during the announcement? Why hadn't he searched and found her the way Kiba had? He didn't have Kiba's nose, but she was still sure that had he wanted to find them, he would have done so.

It would have been nice to have him here and use his hand like an anchor to keep her grounded, the way Ino did, too. But Ino did not look as though she was simply in need for support. She was almost frantically clutching Kiba's hand and you could tell from his face that it had to hurt, but as he tried to loosen her fingers, she only squeezed harder and said, "I'm pregnant."

* * *

><p>By the time Sasuke left the assembly hall, they had been guided to, the moment they stepped through the doors of the Hokage building, he was surprised to see that the sun was already setting. He knew from experience that during the usual assemblies time slowed to a stop, whereas now it had literally flown by. Hours had passed with them sitting at that large table in that large hall, receiving the information that have been withheld from the rest of the village, so they had time to mentally brace themselves for hearing it.<p>

_They_ have not been given that time and moreover they have been expected to react to the news immediately. There has been a lot of talk about fighting strategies, espionage, war supplies, evacuation and places that seemed suitable for that. The first evacuation had actually taken place already. In the middle of last night, Naruto had been brought to a ship and was now heading to an island, the location of which was top secret.

He walked slowly down the corridor, letting the others overtake him, until there was only one person left, the person he needed to talk with and it seemed to be a mutual wish, because, without wasting any words, Shikamaru opened a door to his right and held it open for Sasuke to enter. The Uchiha followed the unspoken invitation and found himself in what had to be an archive. The wooden wall panelling was for the greatest part hidden behind shelves upon shelves, crammed with loose papers, overflowing files and folders. In the middle of the room was a square table with one chair at each side and while Sasuke kept standing in the doorway, Shikamaru walked past him and slumped down in one of them. The door fell shut with a quiet clack. For a moment it was dark in the windowless room, but then slowly, almost reluctantly the light came on with an angry buzz.

"War, huh?" Shikamaru murmured. Out of habit his hand reached into his pocket and closed around a somewhat battered cigarette packet. One of the cigarettes immediately found its way to his mouth, but as he reached for his lighter, he remembered that they shouldn't even be here and accordingly shouldn't leave any traces. What a shame.

Still he left it where it was and sucked at it like it was a pacifier.

Sasuke sat down on the other side of the table and folded his hands under his chin, the way he liked to do when he was thinking hard.

"We took too long." And when he said _we_, he meant _I_. "There is no more time to gather intel. We have to come up with a strategy right now."

_Maybe it's not too late yet… Maybe we- **I** can stop this war from happening._

"Give me a break," Shikamaru said, "You make it sound like this is our fault."

"… It's not…" Sasuke replied after a while.

"Damn right it's not. There have been no indications. We couldn't have foreseen this."

"Still we have to act now."

"Seems like it…" What a drag… "I've thought about a lot of different scenarios and strategies, but they only include Madara – not Madara and an army."

"So you just add a few people." Sasuke shrugged and leant back in his chair.

"Tze… like it's that easy…" Shikamaru stared at the ceiling and kept tapping his cigarette packet on the table. "Give me a moment."

He let go of his cigarettes and instead put his fingers together to form a circle and closed his eyes. He meditated a while, remaining utterly quiet and still. Although he was getting impatient, Sasuke did nothing to interrupt the Nara, until he finally opened his eyes.

"You're done brooding?" Sasuke asked.

"More or less," Shikamaru said and returned the cigarette, he had been shoving from one corner of his mouth to the other, into its packet, which Sasuke was glad about because it had begun to irritate him for whatever reason…

"Let's hear it."

"…" Ever since Sasuke came to him, asking for aid, Shikamaru had given a lot of thought to various strategies, but none of them had seemed sufficient and he hadn't even thought them to an end, since he had expected to get more information. Now it was too late and he'd have to try to make the best out of what little he knew. "Okay… at first we'll need more people, there's no way around that. And I'm talking about trustworthy people. We'll probably have to disobey a lot of orders to set out on our own during the war and they should definitely be ready for that. We can't put our trust in someone who might draw back in the last second."

Shikamaru paused, waiting for Sasuke to comment or rather protest again, like he had done every time he talked about getting others involved, but Sasuke did no such thing. Instead, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Go on."

"Good. So we'll need a tracker– and a really good one. We don't have anything that belongs to Madara, nothing we can take as a starting point, so Kiba is out and so are Kakashi and his dogs. Maybe Shino would do, but his insects are only of use when the enemy is nearby, otherwise it'll take too long…"

But then this war was all about fighting Madara and his troops, so he should be somewhere close. Shino definitely was their best choice at the moment.

"Is he trustworthy?"

"Hmm… he is definitely discreet." Shikamaru pondered a while, before he nodded. "Yes, he is."

He didn't know all that much about Shino, but what he did know was that he had never yet let him or any other of his friends down and that was the very quality they needed from the people they gathered. Loyalty.

"That's the thing about finding him," the Nara said and tapped his fingers on the table as though he was playing piano. "When it comes to fighting him, it's even tougher. We'll need your Sharingan to finish him off. But you said your eyes are weakened, so we have to make sure that you really get him. He can make himself intangible at his own volition, and he can only be attacked when he is attacking himself, right?"

"Yes."

"So we'll need people for close combat that'll keep him busy," Shikamaru said. "Naruto would be good with his shadow clones, same as Kankurô with his puppets. They could attack him without being in any direct danger, but Naruto won't be there and I'm not sure about Kankurô yet…"

"Madara has the Sharingan," Sasuke said and kept his eyes glued on the nervous movement of Shikamaru's fingers. "He would neither bother with Naruto's clones, nor with Kankurô's puppets, but attack the two of them head on."

"That's what I feared… Then that leaves Neji. He's very skilled at close combat and with his Byakugan it will be easy for him to keep track on Madara's movements and maybe even detect when he is solid and when he isn't. Making sure he can be attacked is the first part. Then I will try to catch him with Kagemane no Jutsu and immobilise him."

"But that won't keep him from using his Sharingan."

"No," Shikamaru sighed. That's the thing about techniques that didn't require any hand seals… "And that's why we need Sayuri."

"No," Sasuke declined, before Shikamaru even had a chance to give an explanation. He couldn't think of a single reason that would necessitate Sayuri's being there. But even if it were otherwise that wouldn't change anything about his answer. "You'll keep her out of this."

"She won't be in any direct danger," Shikamaru tried to appease the Uchiha, whose expression had visibly darkened after his last words. "We need a medic-"

"-there are enough others."

"But aside from being a medic-nin, she is good with seals. And as it is there are _not_ enough others with that ability," Shikamaru explained, but his words bounced off Sasuke like he was immune to reason. He was goddamn stubborn. "The moment I trap Madara, she'll have to seal his chakra, so he can't use his Sharingan any longer and that's when you use Amaterasu to burn him to ashes."

"There is no need for that. The moment you have him I'll attack."

"You had him the last time, too, and yet he got away. As long as he is still able to use his space-time ninjutsu there's no way we can beat him. This is the only chance."

"There are other ways to seal his chakra."

"But nothing as effective. We are talking about spilt seconds here. We might find another medic-nin, but I can't think of any other, trustworthy person, who is able to perform a sealing jutsu."

"She is my weakness." The words came out reluctantly, but Sasuke knew them to be true. It was just that he had never spoken them out loud. "Madara will not fail to make use of that."

"Is that so…" Shikamaru mused, his eyes becoming unfocused. "Didn't he take her hostage the last time?"

"Forget it." Sasuke gave his opposite a glare that could have melted steal. "You're not gonna use her as bait."

"You're not making this easy for me…" Shikamaru heaved a deep sigh and leant back in his chair. "Then there is only Ino. She could use Shintenshin no Jutsu to get into Madara's head. No one has stronger will power than Ino."

Or that's what he used to believe, but lately his picture of his team-mate has been gravely shaken. Ino couldn't live up to such a task and he didn't think she'd even agree to do it, but even if she did, just like Sasuke, he was unwilling to sacrifice her for their cause. "But I don't think she has a chance against Madara… Ino is out."

"Okay with me," Sasuke said and rose to his feet. "All I want you to do is clear my way so I can get at Madara. He is my business – no one has to get involved in this."

He would have expected more of the man who was usually referred to as genius – that plan was useless.

If it really came down to it, you couldn't rely on anyone but yourself.

* * *

><p>All she did was make coffee all the time. She filled as much water into the pot as would fit inside and then added enough coffee powder for twice as much. The result was a pitch black syrup that would make your lips curl in other circumstances, but now it seemed just right.<p>

Sayuri had her arms crossed on the kitchen counter and rested her chin on them, watching the last black drops drip-drip-drip down and create concentric waves on the water surface. As there was no more drop to follow, she picked up the steaming pot. The kitchen was already full with coffee fumes, so she could barely make it out anymore or maybe she was too preoccupied to notice.

Something bothered her about the situation – apart from the fact that their greatest fear this past year had come true. But despite thinking hard about what it was that struck her as odd about what was happening or maybe what had happened or was about to happen, she couldn't come to a conclusion. It even seemed as though the more thought she gave to the whole matter, the farther it distanced her from actually finding out, whereas when she didn't think about it, the solution seemed almost within reach, as though it was sitting under her skin, waiting to finally break through. Not knowing was tearing her apart. It was just so goddamn frustrating. And that although she didn't even understand how something she couldn't identify in the first place could appear so important to her.

That is why she was focussing her full attention on these small tasks, trying not to think about anything at all, but doing it anyway. Anyone who ever tried to banish a certain thought from their mind knows that it just makes you think about it all the harder, the taboo thought recurring with the persistence of a moth, trying to reach the light through a window pane.

With the at least fifth pot in her hand, Sayuri returned into the living room, which was now more like a waiting hall. After the announcement, as the first shock had worn off enough for them to realise that they would not receive any further information for the time being and could just as well go home, they had done so. They had all parted ways, at least briefly, and she wasn't sure how exactly it happened, but somehow they all ended up together again and were now here. Juugo was the only one who had left, but in his stead Neji and Hinata had appeared a short time later.

It had surprised her a little to see Hinata, at least as much as she could be surprised in her current state, but then with Hiashi attending the meeting Tsunade had called in, she was free to go wherever she wanted to. In theory. And it was this very meeting which had brought them all here. They couldn't stand to wait until tomorrow and so they waited for Sasuke to get first hand information.

They really did look like a group of people in the waiting hall of a hospital, expecting nothing but bad news as reward for their patience. Only few and much less meaningful words were exchanged in muted voices. Again only Suigetsu was an exception to that rule. He was playing with Mikan, and for once Sayuri was glad he was here, because she couldn't have done so herself.

The table was full of mugs. First, she filled the empty ones, although no one had asked for a refill. Then she picked up the still full mugs, Ino's and Kiba's, and poured their contents into the flower pot of the only plant they had here. It would either drown in coffee or have a growth spurt.

Despite looking like they could need it, Ino and Kiba had not touched their cups a single time. They were too drawn in on themselves or each other. Ino was too busy crying and Kiba was too busy being helpless, not knowing how to make her stop. Not knowing how to make things right again.

He'd be a father.

This wasn't how he had imagined it and it wasn't how Ino had imagined it either. They hadn't reckoned with so many tears, except tears of joy perhaps, but nothing like this. Nothing quite so miserable. It seemed like Sayuri won't be the only one who'll have to revise the story she'd one day tell her son… All her plans had been rendered meaningless by the news of war. She had planned to tell Kiba tonight over dinner. She had spent hours deciding on what to wear and how to do her hair and she had already bought all the ingredients for his favourite meal. She had wanted to drop some subtle hints from time to time and eat as much as she could and even more. Because she was eating for two now. Because it no longer mattered. Then she'd wait for him to comment on her appetite and then tell him, fully casual, that that's how pregnant women were, or whatever else came to her mind and then she'd watch him. Watch every single muscle in his face move as he realised that they – the two of them – had created a life.

Now she couldn't even look at him.

Hinata had come here with the secret hope of seeing Naruto. She had been sure he would run to Sasuke at once. He always did, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he had stormed the meeting. It was definitely like him. She hadn't seen him ever since the last time she had been to this house. Ever since Neji had told him about what was going on at their home. She was still angry with Neji for having done that. Or at least she thought so. She didn't really know how to be angry with someone, although she had an actual reason to. But these feelings felt so hollow, she couldn't imagine they were genuine. Maybe that was because Neji hadn't really done anything wrong. He had not spread any lies but the truth and that would have had to come out sooner or later. Still she had not been ready for it yet, which is why Neji's honesty felt like betrayal to her.

She hoped Naruto would come.

She hoped he would be as forgiving as Sayuri said he was.

* * *

><p>When Sasuke finally came home, he wasn't in the least surprised to find his house full of people. Though when he opened the door, he expected to be confronted with a plethora of competing voices. Instead the corridor was dark and empty. It took his full concentration to make out the sounds of other people in the adjacent room, which was a first.<p>

It showed that Naruto wasn't there.

He stepped out of his shoes, taking his time, though not too much, since they likely knew he had returned. When he slid the door to the living room open, his assumption was confirmed. Every single pair of eyes seemed to be glued on him, while he only had eyes for a single person and couldn't care less that they all waited for his report. His dark eyes scanned the room quickly, registering only blurred colours and silhouettes, until he found her on the left side of the room. She was holding a brimful pot of coffee in her hands, so she must have just come out of the kitchen, but had stopped in her tracks the moment he entered the room. Now she was only standing there and staring at him, or at least in his direction. There was something about her eyes that made it hard to tell, but on a whole she looked more composed than he would have expected.

Without paying the remotest bit of attention to any of the other people, Sasuke crossed the room, until he stood before his girlfriend.

"Sayuri…"

"Welcome back," she said in a quiet tone. "I made coffee." She lifted the pot in her hands. "You want some?"

"Are you okay?" he asked with a frown on his face. Actually he had expected her to fling her arms around his neck and bombard him with questions and not to ask him if he wanted coffee.

"…" She nodded in reply, but her gaze seemed to pass right through him.

"Really?"

"Yeah… I'm fine," she assured him, but he found that hard to believe with how hollow her voice was. "It's just… weird…"

"What is?"

"I don't know… that's the problem."

She appeared confused and now it was beginning to dawn on Sasuke that what he had first mistaken for composure might actually be shock. He brought a hand to her cheek. Her skin felt cold, although it was really warm in the room.

"Maybe you should go to bed. I'll tell you everything tomorrow.

"I'm fine," she repeated with more emphasis and just walked past him, to sit down with the others around the table. He turned around then and for the first time since arriving really looked at his visitors and what he saw was a group of distraught people with a void in their eyes they expected him to fill with hope.

It really did show that Naruto wasn't there.

He may not be the brightest, but he had that special quality about him that was shared by all great leaders. His words reached the people listening to him and when he said all would be well, no one questioned it. The group sitting here in his living room, however, was full of questions and they now expected Sasuke to give them the answers they wanted to hear and shower them with hopeful words and empty promises.

And these were the people that should help him fight Madara.

There had to be another way…

* * *

><p>It took Sasuke no more than fifteen minutes to repeat what they had talked about for several hours. No one interrupted him and they rarely asked questions. At times it seemed to him as though they didn't even want to hear what he had to say, but couldn't bear not knowing either.<p>

Once he had finished, Suigetsu had left and Ino and Kiba had taken off as well, so only the two Hyûgas remained; the only ones who seemed to have kept a clear head. In comparison to the other girls, Hinata had actually seemed lively, which he found especially noteworthy with regard to the last image he had of her…

Sayuri hadn't said a word in the whole last hour. It seemed like she hadn't even moved. She just sat there with Mikan, who had fallen asleep on her lap. Only her fingers were combing through his hair in an almost mechanical fashion. That was all.

"I'll get you a glass of water," Sasuke said and saw her nod, so he headed towards the kitchen, from where he heard the soft clank of dishes.

"Sasuke-kun." Hinata looked over the shoulder, as she heard the door open and saw the owner of the house enter. She had cleared the table and was now washing the dishes – anything so she didn't have to go home yet…

"Hn," he nodded, but paid no more attention to her and went to one of the cabinets to take out a glass. He filled it with water and was just about to leave, when Hinata held him back.

"I wanted to apologise," she said quickly, before her courage had time to leave her again. She had already apologised to Sayuri and she was going to apologise to Naruto, but somehow it felt as though she owed one to Sasuke as well. "My behaviour was unacceptable. It was never my intention to cause you trouble. I'm sorry."

Sasuke was quiet for a moment, pondering about her words, which left Hinata feel giddy.

"It does seem to make things easier," he began, his voice sounding vacant, as though he was talking to himself and not to Hinata and he did not turn around to her either. "But that's not true. The alcohol just shuts up a part of your brain and keeps you from seeing a situation from all its sides. That doesn't change anything about the situation, though."

No matter how much he drank, he couldn't just drown Madara in alcohol. It might maybe make him care a little less, make him able to pretend he wasn't there, or at least trust in that he wouldn't come here soon, but that was really all it did. It was no solution to his problems. Even so it made it easier to deal with them.

Now there was no easy way left. Madara was alive and he would have to face him sooner or later.

* * *

><p><em>It seemed like there was nothing she could do right any longer.<em>

"_Do you listen?"_

_She did._

"_Don't make such a face."_

_She only had that one._

"_Talk when you are talked to."_

_When she was quiet._

"_Don't interrupt me."_

_When she replied._

_Regardless of what she did, it always ended the same way with fists coming down like hailstones, painting her paper-thin skin in shades of black and purple. His new (or probably not) liquid friend made him that way; it fed the demon in his eyes._

_He was getting frustrated with their lack of progress. Most of the time he'd let it out at himself, would use whatever means he had to poison himself and rid himself of the guilt, but when that wasn't enough, he blamed her for his own insufficiencies. He had come to blame her for every day he had to stand by and watch his dreams shatter over and over again. It was easier than shouldering the blame himself._

_She didn't care about what he did to her. She wasn't afraid that his treatment or maybe her own treatment would cause her body to fail. She had decided she would live, but what happened, happened – if she were to die by some terrible accident that's that. What did a life even mean, when there was no one there to cry for it, once it ended?_

_And still she found herself lying in bed at night, her eyes and ears wide open, same as the window, she would not close in spite of the cold season. She was wary of falling asleep, wary of letting what little control she had left of her life slip. It was easier to repel sleep or at least reduce it to a minimum when your body was too frozen to feel comfortable. Too frozen, too hungry for sleep, but also too exhausted for staying awake._

_She had long stopped caring about herself and yet, every time she heard footsteps in the corridors of one of the many hotels they stayed in, she found herself seeking refuge in one of the wardrobes. _

_Sometimes it helped. Most often not._

_Whenever he turned into a bear she became an insect, a praying mantis, a wingless cicada – she didn't trust herself to fly. It was enough to be something so tiny and thin that he couldn't possibly squash it between his sharp-clawed paws._

_Whenever it happened, she crawled up the walls, hung in a corner of the ceiling and just looked down at herself. There were different rooms and different nights, but the images were always the same._

_Always frightening._

…

…


	18. The calm before the storm

**18. The calm before the storm**

The clock chimed three times and when the broad, rich tone of the bell died out, the ensuing silence seemed even more profound than it did before being disrupted. A lone candle in the middle of the kitchen table had the task to disperse the overwhelming darkness, but failed miserably. All it did was set the shadows in motion. And how many of them there were! There already was an abundance crowding only in Ino's face, highlighting the tears that were silently trickling down her cheeks.

"It'll be okay, you'll see," Kiba repeated, feeling like a broken record. He leaned forward and lifted Ino's hand to kiss it, keeping it there at his lips. Her skin was salty, as though the tears were pouring out of her every pore. It felt a little like kissing a dead fish.

"You'll be evacuated. You'll be far away in safety. I bet you won't even notice anything of the war, so don't be scared. You'll be okay. Both of you."

He laid a hand on Ino's flat stomach and still couldn't comprehend that there was a new life growing inside her. His own flesh and blood.

This should have been a happier moment.

He raised his head, to look at his girlfriend's face, wondering if he had finally managed to get through to her, but of course he hadn't. Her face was still as blank and as tear-stained as it had been ever since the announcement. He's been sitting by her side all along, holding her hand and telling her it would be okay, but he wasn't sure if she was even aware of his presence. If she was even aware that she wasn't the only one who was scared.

Akamaru, too, sensed that something wasn't right. He and Ino have never had the best relationship, they more or less tolerated each other, but that was it. Now, however, Akamaru had rested his head on Ino's lap, whining quietly whenever a tear dropped on his cold, black nose.

"Please Ino, talk to me," Kiba pleaded. "It's scary to see you so quiet…"

Finally there was some movement in the blonde. She took a deep breath and moistened her lips and for the first time since declaring she was pregnant did she speak, "What can I possibly say…?"

"I don't care. Anything. Tell me what to do."

"There's nothing you can do. That's the point," she said, her voice hoarse from all the crying.

She had enough of all this – she wanted none of it. She didn't want to set out and fight and see people get hurt, see people die, hurt people, kill people. She had thought she had finally escaped all this. She had thought she could retire now and fully concentrate on her family. Concentrate on being pregnant and becoming the best mother in the world, but now it was all catching up to her. War. Death. Suffering. It was beyond her to change that fate

"It's all so ridiculous. So insignificant… We've spent all our lives training to become stronger. Training to become strong enough to protect this village and all the people in it. Every single ninja trained for that very reason, but it only took a single man to… to _pulverise_ this village. Almost everyone died that day. _Thousands_ of people. And what if it hadn't been for the revival jutsu? Where would we be then, now? Just what have we been doing all our lives to not be able to keep this from happening. Why haven't we been able to do anything?"

She clutched her stomach tightly, as her body was shaken by uncontrollable sobs, and Kiba had no idea what to do or say now. He's had no idea she was feeling that way. How come he didn't notice, earlier?

"I thought it was all over…" she sniffed and shook her head, her body rocking to and fro and finally Kiba wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She was right. There was nothing he could say, because there was nothing that could stop this war from unfolding. But what he could do was stay here with her for as long as he could and show her that she's not alone now and convince her that she won't be alone once the war is over, either.

"We have support from every other nation. There's no way this wretched Uchiha will win a war against the whole world. So cheer up." He grinned and pressed a kiss on Ino's nose. "Actually it's a blessing that this war happens now rather than later. It gives us a chance to make sure our baby will be born into a peaceful world."

* * *

><p>It was well past her usual time to go to bed and still Tsunade was sitting here in a small chamber within the Hokage building. Not her office, though. There has been a constant pounding at her door and she had no nerve to deal with it right now. There'd be enough of that tomorrow and the days after that, so she was grateful for every moment of solitude she was granted. Every moment she could use to think about the situation without being disturbed by other people's questions and concerns. As it was, she had more than enough of them herself.<p>

_What a mess_, she thought, as she stared at the world map she had spread out on the couch she was sitting on. There were little arrows and comments scribbled all over it and most of them were based on mere assumption. There were at least five crosses at places where the enemy's base might be located, but they didn't know which one was right or if any of them was right at all. Then there were circles around the regions, which might turn into battlefields, but again there were so many of them that they could have just as well left it. The only thing they were sure of was that the south of the continent would be spared of the war. They would try to locate the battles into the northern part of the Land of Thunder, because, with all the big cities being in the south, it was a desert-like region with only very few people living there. But who knew if they'd get to choose?

A quiet knock sounded, but Tsunade did not look up, because she knew who it was. After all there was just one person who knew she was here and she was probably the only person she could tolerate at the moment.

"I brought you tea," Shizune said and placed the tray she had brought with her on the table beside the white couch Tsunade was sitting on.

"Thank you," Tsunade said and blindly extended her hand to where she assumed the cup to be. She almost knocked it over, but Shizune reacted in time and passed it into her hand.

"You have a tough day ahead of you tomorrow. Shouldn't you get some rest?"

Right she was. Tomorrow would be a pain, so she'd rather hold on to today for as long as she could.

"I haven't decided yet on how to pull off the evacuations."

And that's what people will want to know. They will want to know where their loved ones are going to stay. They will want to know if they'll be safe and as it was she couldn't tell them.

"Why evacuate the civilians in the first place?" Shizune asked and folded her hands before her. "They could stay here in the village. It's a safe and most of all familiar place. This war will take a heavy toll on everyone, so why do you want to chase people out of their homes?"

"The village is too huge a place to defend," Tsunade said and took a sip of her tea. "There will only be Genin and a handful Tokubetsu Jounin to defend the civilians and the enemy could use the absence of skilled fighters to attack the village. If something like that were to happen, the moral at the front line would sink drastically."

"But when there's no one here you give plunderers the chance to walk in and out of the village and take whatever they want-"

"-Shizune!" Tsunade barked and slammed her balled fist on the armrest of the couch. The upholstery muffled the sound too much for it to have the desired effect, but Shizune nevertheless flinched. "Since when do we put material goods on the same level as human lives?"

"R-right! We don't. I'm sorry," she stammered and bowed her head, which Tsunade received with a pleased nod.

"Get me a more detailed map of the Land of Fire and the adjacent countries."

"I will."

"And also Shikamaru's report of the Chunin Exams."

"Err…yes," Shizune said, a little startled. "Anything else?"

"No." Tsunade shook her head and the moment she heard the door shut behind her assistant, she leaned back and couldn't keep a weary sigh from escaping her throat.

It was so much responsibility. She could be who knows where now, losing more money than she had in shabby casinos if Jiraiya had accepted the post of Hokage back then. Maybe he would still be alive then and she was sure that he would have handled this situation better than she could.

She wished he was here. She could have really needed his help, his support, but no- that dimwit had gotten himself killed and left her all alone here.

It were times like these when she realised how much she needed him.

Realised how much she missed him.

* * *

><p>She had left the light on all night, but that was not the reason why Sayuri hasn't been able to fall asleep yet. There was still that elusive feeling that had smitten her upon hearing about the war and it hadn't left her since then, but that wasn't what kept her awake, either. She would have liked to fall asleep, even if only to escape the tormenting inscrutability of her own ambiguous thinking processes, but she could not, because she was waiting.<p>

Since one hour… two… three- she didn't even know how long, but it didn't matter anyhow. She was definitely waiting more time than it could possibly take anyone to get ready for bed.

The covers rustled like dry leaves, as she pulled them back. For a moment all she did was sit there in the darkness and listen to the sounds of the house. A symphony of silence, of solitude.

Her bare feet made no sound on the cool hardwood floor, as she slipped from the darkness of the bedroom into the darkness of the living room. He was definitely not here. She stood there a while, allowing her eyes to become accustomed to the lack of light. When she held her breath, she could hear something. Some kind of grinding sound, she couldn't quite place. But it came out of the kitchen.

Although she was on her feet now, it all felt a lot like dreaming. Sleep-walking. The concreteness of reality was somehow missing. She made her way towards the kitchen and saw a faint, silvery gleam under the door. She pushed it open. After all the darkness, the light, however dim, blinded her and made her pause in the doorframe, squinting her eyes.

The grinding carried on and now Sayuri realised what it was. Sasuke was sitting on the floor, surrounded by weapons. There was a pile of shuriken to his right, a pile of kunai in front of him and a mixed one to his left. His katana lay idle on his lap, while his hands were busy passing a kunai forward and backward over a whetstone. He did not look up as she entered and she did not speak.

Sayuri's eyes remained focused on the rhythmic, nearly hypnotising motion of Sasuke's hands, as she sank to her knees on the floor before him.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

What a tiring task. She looked to the side at the pile of weapons closest to her. She picked up a kunai and examined it from all sides. It was gleaming brightly, the blade as clean as darkened mirrors. There was not a speck of dirt on it, nor a single scratch. She tapped the point of the dagger against the tip of her thumb. She added no pressure, but within seconds a dark crimson drop oozed out of the pinhead-sized stab, resting there like a stained pearl on her pale finger.

He had definitely done a good job. But it seemed like there was a lot of work ahead of him still.

"Can't this wait till tomorrow?" Sayuri asked and couldn't help but cringe, because her usually so quiet voice sounded unnaturally loud, as it cut through the silence.

"No," Sasuke said and placed the kunai, he had just polished, on the pile next to her, before he reached for the next one and used a file to sharpen its edge.

"I see…" Sayuri nodded and stared at the kunai in her hand for a long moment, before glancing at the stack of paper bombs on top of the table. She knew how he usually prepared his weapons, so she decided to help him. She reached for the pile of explosive tags and started wrapping them around the hilts of the already sharpened kunai or fastened them with wires to some of the shuriken.

"You don't have to do this."

She looked up and found Sasuke staring at her, his hands having stopped their nearly automatic movement. She met his eyes briefly, but then resumed her task.

"I know."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I've been waiting…" she replied.

"There's no need to. I'm not tired yet."

Not tired? Even in the dim light, she could see the dark circles under his eyes, so who was he trying to fool?

"Me neither." She shrugged, deciding to go along with his game and pretend that it was opposite day.

"You're lying," he said and furrowed his brows. She had barely managed to keep her eyes open as the others had still been here and she didn't really look awake now, either.

And of course he was right, which is why Sayuri didn't even think it necessary to reply to him and instead left it at shaking her head with a wry smirk on her lips.

"But there really is no need to do this now…" Sayuri mused and piled up the rigged kunai in an orderly pyramid. "It's not like the war starts tomorrow. All the preparations will take a while still, right?"

"…"

"Right…?" she repeated and looked up from her work, her hands frozen in their movement and Sasuke seemed frozen as well, or maybe not frozen but still, and then she didn't like that thoughtful look on his face. He was often lost in thoughts, but when you could actually tell so from his expression, then that was never a good thing.

"Yes," he drawled, "the preparations will take some time to be completed."

"But…?"

There was always a but. She knew there was.

"Remember that night they were all here?" he began and chose his next words carefully, but there was no easy way to say this. It didn't matter how eloquent his next words would be, as long as they could not conceal their contents, they were sure to entail a long, unpleasant argument and he really couldn't have that right now, but he promised her… "I said I'd give you your chance to stop me. Here it is."

"W-what are you talking about?" she asked with her eyes open wide, but then she squeezed them shut and hissed as she cut herself with the kunai in her hand, which she then dropped to the floor.

Sasuke watched with a blank face how she pressed the side of her hand against her mouth to keep the blood from flowing, until a pressed out "I'm waiting," reminded him that she wanted an explanation, although the explanation he had to give was definitely not the one she wanted to hear.

"The villages are still preparing for the war and so is Madara. If I act now, maybe I can catch him unprepared. Maybe I can stop this war from happening."

Sasuke knew that he couldn't undo the things he had done in the past, but this could be his chance to at least make up for some of his misdeeds, his repeated betrayal. This could be his chance to finally clear his debts and become a true, justified member of the Hidden Leaf once again.

"Really? So you just want to set out all alone and fight Madara, huh?" Sayuri asked with a frown on her face. "Well… that sounds like a piece of cake. Really-"

"-Sayuri-"

"-No, no, no…" She lifted a finger to silence him. "I mean that sounds really well thought out. Why do all the great nations even bother to mobilise their troops when they could have just sent you from the start. He's only an old, bitter man, right? Okay… he's also immortal, he can travel through time and space and he is thought to be the strongest man in the world, but if you can catch him off guard, then there shouldn't be a problem. I'm sure he's so conceited because of his status as legend that he won't even have any guards and he probably won't hide either because who could be stupid enough to actually seek him out? Oh wait- that would be you."

"Are you done?" he asked, not in the least impressed by her words or the hysteric edge her voice had taken on. As though everything she said had just bounced off him.

"No! I'm not done!" she cried. "What's wrong with you to come up with such a stupid plan and even mean it?"

"It's better than any of the plans I've heard so far."

Of course he was referring to Shikamaru's plans. Regardless of how detailed and extensive they have been, the thought of having to rely on other people bothered him and so there was no other way but for him to go alone. He was aware that his chances of even getting through to Madara weren't the best, but it wasn't impossible, which is why he had to act soon.

"What about the plan of the allied nations?" she asked and felt a bubble of anger rise in her chest, which made talking in a rational manner rather hard. "There is a reason why they united. You've been there. You know it better than I do."

"It doesn't matter."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" she asked, getting more exasperated by the second. "You think the whole world doesn't have a chance against Madara, but you do?"

"That's not what I'm saying." Although this was exactly what he thought. Even the best army in the world was no match for the Sharingan. "You don't know what war is like-"

"-Oh – and you do?" she interrupted him, but was silenced by the icy glare he gave her.

"Yes, I do. During my time with Orochimaru… I've seen what war is like and I have seen what it makes people do…" His voice trailed off, but his eyes became sharper, observing even the slightest alteration in her expression or the lack of it. He could practically see her expression drain from her face like waves in the sand, leaving it blank. "I don't want you to have to see that."

"Oh no, I won't let you lay the blame on me. I won't let you run into suicide for my sake."

"That's not how it is…"

"That's exactly how it is!" she disagreed and rose to her feet to start pacing through the room. "It's what you always do. It was the same with your family as it is now. No one is expecting you to do this. You have to stop placing other peoples' burdens on your shoulders."

_You have to forgive yourself and start valuing your own life._

"Madara is my problem," Sasuke said, his calm never abandoning him. "If I had managed to kill him, this wouldn't be happening. I have to act before he will become a danger to you."

"See? You're doing it again. Madara didn't declare war on you, but the world. He isn't after you or us, but after Naruto. Stop being so goddamn self-centred all the time!"

"_I _betrayed him and _I _nearly killed him," Sasuke said. His eyes followed his girlfriend, as she moved back and forth between the piles of weapons, her lips curled in a sneer, which didn't suit her at all. "He'll get back at me for that and he'll do so through you."

Because Madara knew that this was the only way to hurt him. His family was his greatest weakness. It has been so much easier to live a life driven only by hatred; the desire to protect was so much harder to hold on to. It was in their blood; the cursed legacy of the Uchiha. He's been an avenger all his life, but it was only now that Sasuke got to know the other side of vengeance. It was now that Sasuke realised how much harder it was to defend than to attack, which was yet another reason why he should not waste any more time. He'd avoid being pushed into the fragile position of a defender by initiating an attack himself.

"Don't you think he has other things on his mind, right now?" she asked, shaking her head all the time, because no matter how much she thought about it, she just didn't get Sasuke's logic. "He just declared war on the whole world. He won't have any time for pursuing personal vendettas. And no one knows where he is. How do you think you'll find him anyway?"

"Let that be my worry."

He did have a general idea where Madara's base was. He's been there often enough, but every time it was Madara who transported him to and away from it. How foresightful of him to not have entrusted him with the location of his headquarters. He probably never trusted him. Still, he had seen the immediate surroundings and he was also proficient with the basics of astronomy, so he was sure he would somehow find it. Besides, he didn't think it necessary to figure out the exact location. He believed that once he was only close, Madara would come out to receive him and then he'd have him alone. Then he'd just have to make the best of it. All he had to do was not lose and at best not die. Should be a cinch…

"You don't have any idea what you are doing, do you?" She shook her head, again and again. "You really suck at making plans - that's just all the more reason for you to wait for what the others are doing. They know-"

"-Enough now," Sasuke interrupted her. He laid his katana on the ground and rose to his feet now as well. His patience was wearing thin. He had promised her to let her try to stop him, but he had never intended to listen to her. There was nothing else to do. He couldn't just wait and watch things unravel. What kind of father would he be if he did nothing to keep his son from growing up in a war-ravaged world? If he did nothing to keep his family from becoming victims of war. "You can talk all you want, it doesn't matter. My mind is set."

For a moment, all she did was stare at him. Her lips were parted slightly, as though all the thoughts that have been crowding her head before, had leaked out of them, leaving her mind blank and a hollow feeling in her chest, as though his words or the scenarios they entailed had taken everything vital out of her and replaced it with emptiness.

"So that's how much you value my opinion, huh?" Her voice was as brittle as autumn leaves and her eyes could not conceal the hollowness behind them. "If that's all, then there is no point in this… Then we can just as well leave it…"

"Leave it?" Sasuke asked and leant back against the table.

"Yes… leave it." Sayuri wrapped her arms tightly around her body to keep herself from crumbling; keep herself from giving in to him the way she always did. "If you go now, I'll leave you."

Her words fell over the room like a heavy blanket, stifling all other noises and for a moment it was perfectly still, as though the whole world had stopped moving.

Then Sasuke snorted and the spell was broken again.

"You wouldn't…" he said, entirely unfazed by her threat.

A frail smile appeared on her lips. She had been sure he would react like this; that he wouldn't even take her serious… He was far too sure of her. Maybe she should have listened to Ino's advice and done something to show him that he couldn't take her for granted. Now it was too late and worse still, she knew he was right; she couldn't leave him. But she had to because the alternative was to let him die.

"I don't have another choice," she said in a feeble voice and didn't dare to look at him. It would be so much harder if she had to look into his face now. His eyes always managed to cause her every resolve to fall to pieces; it was his special talent to break through all her defences without the slightest bit of effort. Before him she was powerless. "And it's not like it matters because in the end I'll be alone either way…"

"Don't you have any faith in me?" Sasuke asked and there was something in his voice now, something close to disappointment, much closer to anger still.

"…"

"Answer me."

The table gave a little creak, as Sasuke pushed himself off it and then he was already standing in front of her, a large shadow blocking her view of anything but the dark fabric of his shirt. He placed his hand under her chin, pushing it up to make her look at him, but the moment their eyes met, she cast hers down again and tried to shake off his hand, but he didn't let her. His thumb brushed across her lips, wiping away a smudged line of blood. "Do you believe in me, Sayuri?"

"I do believe that you'll be the one who beats Madara…"

"Then where is the problem?"

"But at what cost?" she asked and met his eyes now after all, abandoning all her defences, since they didn't work with him anyway and what Sasuke saw now was a vulnerable girl who was baring her heart to him at the risk of having it crushed by the very person she had given it to. The look in her eyes softened his features, but it did nothing to shake his determination. "Your eyes are already bad – what will be left of you after a fight against Madara? Who will be there to pick you off the ground and piece you back together? Bring you back home… If you go there alone you won't come back. I know you won't. It doesn't matter how strong you are; a fight against Madara will leave you in tatters, so why do you want to make it even harder for yourself by taking on extra risks? There are so many people who could help you and if you don't trust them then take me with you-"

"-And present you to him on a silver platter?" he hissed and every bit of softness in his eyes was gone again, as though a steely curtain had fallen down over them.

"That's what _you_ do," she retorted with something akin to disgust lacing her voice. "You know that Madara is after you and still you want to face him without anyone watching your back. What if you run right into a trap? I'm not much of a fighter, but I can heal you. And I can look out for you. Two pairs of eyes are better than a single damaged one, right?"

"No, Sayuri. You won't go anywhere near him." He dropped his arms, but then rested his hands on the kitchen counter behind her, trapping her between his body and the counter, but no longer with his eyes. He had his head lowered now and his dark hair covered his eyes like a tattered curtain. His breath came as raspy now as hers did, too. "It will be hard enough to look after myself. I can't have any other people there to look out for. Especially not you. I won't watch you die again."

She wanted to cry. Just sit down and cry. It should be flattering to hear him talk like that. It should make her heart melt to listen to him say that he valued her life more than his own. That he couldn't bear the thought of having anything happen to her or his son. But it was not flattering and it was not heart-melting, because it was real. This wasn't just silly love-talk. All of this could really happen. And that's why he was saying that. That's why he was talking about his feelings now, because who knew if there'd be another chance for it? They could both die in the course of the following weeks. It was even likely, considering their background and all the bad blood between them and the leader of the enemy troops. War was like a corrupt deity, demanding blood sacrifices in exchange for victory and that was real. They both knew that and the inevitability of it all made her want to cry. It made her feel weak and helpless and as she looked at Sasuke, she knew that he was feeling this way, too. Knew that he was just as helpless as she was and that didn't go together with her image of the strong Sasuke at all. It was unfair to rely on him to keep a level head and always know what to do in every situation, but up to now he always lived up to her expectations.

That just showed that this was the greatest hurdle they've faced so far.

"It's enough if one of us takes the risks," he said quietly. "Think of Mikan. He'd be an orphan if-"

"-stop it!" she cut in, her voice quivering like a leave in the breeze. Her whole body was quivering, too, so she wrapped her arms tighter around herself, her fingers curling around the fabric of her shirt. There has been a temporary impulse to fall into Sasuke's arms before. Now she just felt like slapping him, but then she'd have to let go of herself and risk falling apart. "Stop talking like that! You're already talking like you don't expect to survive this! Maybe you'll win against Madara and we'll be safe. But if you don't come back, what would it matter? What kind of life would that be? I can't and don't want to live without you and Mikan needs his father. Are we so unimportant to you that you'd just throw all of this away for nothing?"

"I don't intend to throw anything away." Why didn't she see it? "I'm doing this to protect you."

He was doing it to make up for all the things he has done in the past. It was atonement. Of course he didn't want to die, not now that he finally found a reason to live, but if he didn't give his all, regardless of the consequences, then he'd have no chance against the other Uchiha. He had no choice but to put his life on the line and hope he'd come out alive. That was the only way.

"You're doing this because you're selfish," she said and bit into her bottom lip. "You say you don't want us to get hurt, when what you really mean is that you don't want to have to watch us suffering. The worst thing Madara can do is take you away from me. Protect me from that."

_Protect me from loneliness. _

"Just don't go…" She loosened her arms from around her own body, her joints feeling stiff as though she hadn't moved for hours. She faltered briefly, but then laid her flat hands on Sasuke's stomach and rested her forehead against his chest, needing to feel him close to her. Needing to make sure that he was still just as strong and just as reliable as he always was. Her fingers curled around his shirt and she let out a shaky breath, "Please don't go…"

They stood a while in silence; her helpless plea still floated in the room, but was left unanswered, though not ignored. He wasn't heartless, just stubborn. Then Sasuke heaved a deep sigh and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, his chin on her hair. How often he had held her like this… It was all so familiar; the feeling of her smaller body in his arms, her warmth, the smell of her hair, even the tune of her heartbeat. But also the vulnerable look in her eyes and the shivers that ran through her. It was all too familiar.

"Marry me," he said into her hair and felt her body go limp in his arms.

"W-what…?" Her voice was feeble, making no secret of her confusion and neither did her expression. Sasuke could see that as she pulled back her head to look at him. Her blue eyes were as wide as saucers; his proposal must have really caught her off guard. Her shocked expression almost made him smirk.

"Where did that come from?" She furrowed her brows and shook her head, as though to shake off her puzzlement. "What has that to do with anything now?"

It was easy. By marrying him, she would carry his last name, she'd have a new identity, one that was distinctly linked to him, and if something happened to him, she'd inherit all his money and their son wouldn't be left as the only Uchiha. It only held advantages for her, but he knew that in case he told her that, she'd flat out refuse. She didn't respond well to reason…

"Life's too fragile to spend waiting. I've known that I'd marry you for a long time, but there won't be much of a chance later, so we should seize the calm before the storm."

"Tze…" she snorted and pressed her lips into a thin line. This was so like him. He didn't really want to marry her, what he wanted was to tie up all loose ends, so he wouldn't leave anything unfinished. So he'd have no regrets. What's gotten into him anyway? In one moment he talked about setting out to fight and now he wanted to marry her. It was all so contradictory. His whole demeanour. He was as fickle as the sky in autumn. She just couldn't make sense of him and all his plans and she didn't think he could either. In one moment he wanted one thing and the next moment something else. His moodiness was driving her insane!

She wanted to move away from him, but with the counter behind her that was impossible, so she left it at pushing away his arms and crossed her own in front of her chest like a shield. "You only want to do this now, because you don't believe you'll survive it. So no. I don't want to marry you. Ask me again when the storm has passed."

And with that she turned away and meant to walk past him, when he caught hold of her hand and held her back.

"That's not how it is," he said, sounding more than weary by now. He had learned to control his emotions and usually it didn't pose any difficulties to him, in fact it has become a part of him, a habit he couldn't turn off, but in a situation such as this one, it was hard, even for him, to keep his temper.

"Really? Then how is it?" she snapped, so he wouldn't hear how close she was to tears. This should have been a happy moment. He should have asked her to marry him in better times and because he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and not because his life was about to end soon anyway and there wouldn't be much of a chance later. He just had all the wrong reasons.

"Here," he said, making her turn her head to him again. She saw him rummage in his pocket, before he offered his closed fist to her.

"Huh?"

"Take it."

She gave him a confused look, before she lifted her hand and held it under his. He dropped something light into it and once he removed his hand she saw that it was a small black box. For a moment all she did was stare at it and then back at Sasuke, her mind entirely blank. She had no idea what to do.

"Open it," he said and shook his head in exasperation.

She lowered her gaze to the black velvet box again and turned it around in her hands, before she slowly, cautiously opened it, as though she expected it to detonate any second.

"A-a ring?"

"I bought it a month ago," he explained and watched his girlfriend closely, trying to read her thoughts, predict her reaction. "I wanted to propose to you on the day of the festival, but you were so drunk that it didn't seem like an ideal moment to me…"

"It's beautiful…" she said in awe and picked the silver ring out of its box and carefully turned it around in her fingers. It had no gem but was made of three delicate bands that were interlocking like vines. It seemed simple and yet elegant all the same.

"Will you accept it?"

"…"

Would she?

* * *

><p>"<em>You are a ninja, are you not?" he asked with a sneer. "You were even chosen as one of the representatives of our clan. Why do you cease to defend yourself?"<em>

"_Evil-doers resemble a man who stirs the dust against the wind; the dust is never raised without doing him injury. Thus the wise will never be hurt but the curse is sure to destroy the evil-doers themselves."_

"_Tze… You call yourself wise, when you do nothing but quote scraps of Sutras when you're not even religious. Do you even remember what it's like to talk?"_

_Did she? She remembered how to use her mouth, but did she remember how to form her thoughts into autonomous words?_

"_I-I'm n-not… not quoting Sutras. I'm quoting… Grandma."_

_This didn't sound like her voice. It was heavy accented, raspy, hollow, laced with grief. Grief that now started to spread through her body, infecting cell after cell, her whole system, and for the first time the walls she had erected between herself and the grief, herself and the feelings, were beginning to crumble, corroded away, dissipated into dust, just like everything else she once possessed._

_**They are all dead.**_

"_Does it make you feel bad?" he snarled. "Do you suffer now?"_

"_If one is to destroy suffering, the cause of s-suffering must be destroyed, because if the cause is destroyed then the… the result is destroyed. The path-"_

_It was too late. The walls couldn't be fixed with what little means she had left. She had let him provoke her and opened the door to suffering. Had allowed his words to hurt her far more than his fists ever could. She had lost to the monster._

…

…


	19. Decision

A Happy Easter to all of you and good luck with the egg hunt!

* * *

><p><strong>19. Decision<strong>

Everything felt lighter, though not in a positive way, like there was nothing to hold on to, nothing to stabilise you. It felt mighty insecure, this practically weightless state, and without the prospect of an anchor that could keep her grounded, Sayuri felt as though she couldn't hold on to reality, no matter how hard she tried. She always ended up getting lost in her own head, when her head was a far too confusing place to be at right now, because it was there that images of the past, present and future collided, melted together, became an inscrutable blur.

_Marry me._

She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. The light was far too bright, adding to the surreal feeling of this day. It made everything appear grotesquely sharp and far too rich in contrast. There were no shadows on her face, no irregularities, no flaws – nothing – not even a natural colour… Like a black and white sketch of something that was supposed to resemble a person.

_Are you serious?_

With a powder brush she added colour to her paper-white cheeks and accented her eyes with a pitch black liner and a subtle sweep of violet shadow. Then another coat of mascara until her lids felt almost too heavy to keep open, but her eyes looked more intense and bright. Expressive… almost realistic. She was an abandoned drawing completing itself.

_I am._

More colour. With calm precision she applied a dramatic shade of deep red lipstick to her full lips and tried to remember what else Ino had done back then. What else had she done to make her feel pretty? Pretty and desirable… Like a whole different person. Someone confident… Someone who'd know what to do…

_I-I cant._

She pressed her lips together to spread the lipstick and then inspected the unlike portrait of herself in the mirror. She looked colourful now alright and the lack of a smile on her face did make her appear cool and confident. A snow queen with a heart of ice. Her heart had to be frozen; how else could she have rejected the man she loved? But what she was lacking on the inside, she made up for with her appearance. She looked like an actress from an old movie, a diva getting ready for a dinner party, an artistic figure – nothing but a shallow sketch after all…

_I can't marry you now._

What a silly masquerade. Like he didn't know what she looked like… She was wearing enough makeup to perform in a musical. Unlike Ino, she was no magician. She might look pretty now, but she didn't feel that way. The dark eye-shadow made her eyes look dead and it looked a lot like her mouth was bleeding. A bloody gash splitting her face in two.

_I need time to think._

She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. To the left, to the right, smudging her lipstick and smearing a grotesque smile on her face without having to move a muscle. Making it look even more like blood, like war paint. How fitting… She turned the water to its hottest setting, waited for the steam to rise up before she bowed down and washed her face until she was her plain old self again. Despite having freed her skin from the layers of makeup, it was no easier to breathe. But by the time she turned the water off and looked up again, the mirror was fogged up from the steam, disabling her from seeing herself any longer and searching for more deficiencies in her reflection.

_I'm sorry._

Her gaze travelled to the bathroom window. The world looked grey and hazy through the frosted glass. Hard to tell what time it was. Probably early, but it did not feel that way at all. The complete absence of sleep made the day seem awfully long already.

And still she hasn't found an answer…

And still she was sorry…

If he was really, _really_ serious about the proposal, then the waiting had to be terrible for him. Then her reaction – her rejection – must have hurt him, when hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do. What she wanted was to say yes. But it wasn't that easy. He would have made her so happy had he asked her another time. Before the prospect of an impeding war had cast its shadow over their lives. But he hadn't and now she didn't know how serious he was about wanting to marry her. Getting married was such a huge step, she didn't want to do it for the wrong reasons, and Sasuke's reasons did seem all wrong to her. They were too practical, too pessimistic. And his proposal itself has been so terribly unromantic – even for him. In one moment they have still been fighting; she had even threatened to leave him and then, out of the blue, he asks her to marry him. Although you couldn't even call that asking – it has been more like a command.

_Marry me._

The proposal has been so impulsive; maybe he didn't really mean it. Maybe he just said so on the spur of the moment, in which case he was probably glad about her hesitance. Maybe he even regretted having raised the issue in the first place. Maybe she'd do him a favour by saying no.

That was not true and she knew it. But how much easier it would make things…

But then when has anything ever been easy? It all appeared so simple. She either said yes or she said no. Her heart was clearly opting for yes, but her head was screaming no. That's how it's been the moment he had asked and that's how it still was. She had spent the whole night thinking about what to do and still she had gotten no further than that. He had caught her off guard and not just slightly. It had felt a lot like falling from a great height and landing flat on the back with the impact squeezing all air out of her lungs. After putting him off, she had fled the house to take a walk, clear her head. It had felt weird to be walking through the streets at night. Peaceful as everything appeared, it had still felt as though the war had already started; as though taking a stroll alone was a dangerous thing to do. But she had needed some time for herself. Some time to think and most of all she had needed air. She couldn't breathe with him around. The next time she saw him, she would have to give him an answer and as long as she didn't know which one that would be, she tried not to cross his path.

But the way things were, she'd have to barricade herself in the bathroom forever, because forever was probably the soonest instant she'd be able to make up her mind. And they didn't have forever – maybe they didn't even have a soon… Was that now an argument for or against marrying him? Wasn't the fact that she hesitated in the first place a clear sign that she should say no? But her hesitance was not based on a lack of feelings for him; it was only the situation which raised all these doubts in her.

She lowered her head and brought a hand to her forehead, finding it slightly damp. It was either still wet from washing her face earlier or it was covered with cold sweat. Whichever it was, she reached for a towel and patted her face dry with it. When she removed the white towel again, she found it stained with pale smudges of colour, like she had crushed butterflies in it. With that image in mind, she stared at the towel for a long moment, before she wadded it, tossed it into a corner of the room next to the laundry basket and departed the bath.

She wondered if Sasuke was still in the kitchen, engrossed in his personal war-preparations. He had still been there as she had gotten back this morning. That was about five o'clock and since then she's been in the bathroom. A look at the clock in the living room told her that it was only half past six. She hasn't spent as much time beautifying and then de-beautifying herself as she had imagined…

The living room was empty, the door to their bedroom was open, so the only closed door left was that of the kitchen. He had to be in there, no doubt.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself, before she pulled back her shoulders and raised her head up high. She still didn't know what to do, but he didn't have to know that. Thinking about it hadn't done her any good. She'd just have to listen to her heart. Or her head…?

With slow steps and a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Sayuri approached the door. For a moment she did nothing but stand there, willing confidence into her tired limbs, before she dared to push it open. As expected, she found him inside. Still or again sitting where he sat yesterday, but instead of weapons, there were now various scrolls piled up on the floor and the table. Only a few kunai and a stack of senbon were lying on the table; they were probably hand baggage.

He was not alone in the kitchen; their illegitimate son was there, too. Mikan was standing with the help of a chair and as he saw his mother, he smiled and squealed and tried to grope his way closer to her, but did not dare let go of the chair, so he didn't get far.

Would Mikan benefit from having married parents? Marrying now would not change anything about the fact that he has been born out of wedlock, but still… Did children these days mock one another because of something like this? Did they say things like, '_We don't want to play with you because your parents aren't married, you bastard_?' She couldn't imagine it…

Despite knowing that Mikan was waiting for her to finally come to him and shower him with attention, Sayuri remained frozen in the door frame and finally forced herself to look into Sasuke's face. She knew that his eyes had fallen on her the moment she had entered the room and they were still focused on her, making her self-conscious.

He rose to his feet, but before he had a chance to say anything or ask for her decision, she threw her arms around his neck and started kissing him. He was obviously caught off guard, but after the first moment of surprise had passed, he responded. He laid his hands on her waist and kissed her in a way that made her feel as though she would melt. Maybe she did, because Sasuke relocated his hands to her elbows, as though she needed the support, which was probably true.

Again he was taking her breath away, though this time in a positive way and she didn't want him to stop. As long as they were still kissing everything was alright. So as he removed his lips from hers, she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and pulled him back. They were both running low on oxygen, but she didn't care. Sometimes being unable to breathe wasn't a bad thing… The next time he pulled away, he did so with more determination and held her by her upper arms at elbow distance, though his forehead still rested against the top of her head, his breath fanning in short bursts across her skin. His dark eyes met hers, but they seemed to be focused on something far away and sad.

"Is this supposed to be a yes?"

Despite having expected this question, it still knocked all air out of her lungs and she felt as though he had pulled the ground from under her feet. Yes or no? Actually she had long made up her mind already by realising that she couldn't decide. But it wasn't all black and white. She'd move along the shades of grey.

"…" She took a deep breath as she prepared her answer, but the moment she meant to talk, she felt something at her leg and was so surprised that she almost jumped. Fortunately she hadn't done so, because if she had, she would have probably knocked her son over, who must have either crawled all the way here or had just done his first unassisted steps without anyone noticing. It wasn't nice of her to ignore him so long.

A brittle smile flitted across her lips, before she bowed down and picked Mikan up. She pressed a kiss on his head and cradled him against her chest, hiding behind him, before she looked at Sasuke again. Sasuke who was still waiting for an answer.

"…No…" She shook her head and lifted Mikan a little higher because she couldn't help it, when actually she should look determined now. After all she wasn't finished yet. "But it can be," she added and searched for any emotions in the blank mask that was Sasuke's face, but there was no visible reaction to her words.

"Depending on what?" he asked and though his face might be perfectly blank, there was something in his voice. It sounded colder than it usually did when he was talking to her. That was just making things harder for her.

"Depending on how much you want it."

* * *

><p>After having dressed Mikan and herself, Sayuri returned to the living room, where Sasuke was already waiting for her. She could tell because the moment he heard the sound of the opening door, he turned around, but then froze in his movement upon seeing her. She put Mikan down and ran a hand through his fluffy hair, keeping her attention focused on him, which was the easiest thing to do at the moment.<p>

After taking a deep, shaky breath, she straightened herself and directed her gaze to Sasuke, but quickly looked down again, self-conscious.

"It's nothing like what Ino did…" She brushed her hair behind her ear and tugged at the hem of her dress. It was the dress Ino had bought for her – the wedding dress. As though Ino had known she could need something like it. Maybe she had… She has a nose for these kinds of things. Back then she had already prophesised that she'd marry soon enough. Long before her… Poor Ino… She was pregnant. She has finally gotten what she wanted for such a long time, and now her dream was at risk of being crushed by fate's cruel hands. These days the streets had to be plastered with shattered dreams…

"No," Sasuke said, the sound of his voice snapping her out of her reverie, but it couldn't chase away the dejected look that had come to her face upon thinking about the future. He approached her without ever taking his eyes off her. She didn't even see him blink, as though he feared she would take advantage of the millisecond it took him to close and reopen his eyes to turn tails and run. He knew her far too well… Her assumption was strengthened, as he came to a stop before her and laid his hands on her hips, as if to keep her in place.

"You look perfect."

He placed a kiss on her forehead, pressing his lips firmly against it, so she was forced to raise her still lowered head and once she did, he captured her lips in a long, deep kiss. Afterwards they stood close together, breathing each other in. It felt like floating and drowning at the same time.

"Can we go?"

Actually she didn't feel like going at all, she'd rather stand here in his arms forever, inhaling his subtle scent, basking in his warmth, having him tell her sweet things – she wanted nothing more than pretend this moment would never end.

She was a dreamer, maybe, but not naïve enough to actually believe this.

"Okay," she said, hating the way her voice cracked and the way a cold shiver ran through her limbs. She felt cold all the time. It was summer and hot outside and she was freezing and that just didn't seem right. Nothing did.

Almost timidly, she slipped her small hand into Sasuke's, giving him a thankful smile as she felt him squeeze it back.

"Then let's go."

* * *

><p>The streets of the village were by no means empty, but it was so quiet that Konoha appeared a lot like a ghost town. There were only ghosts, haunting the places they used to be happy at. They, too, did not exchange a single word as they made their way to their destination: the cemetery of Konoha Gakure.<p>

Shoving the empty buggy before her, Sayuri walked next to Sasuke. He was carrying Mikan in his arms and didn't seem to mind his son's attempts at turning him bald. The sky was overcast with a few clouds, but of the white kind and not the grey, rain-promising ones and they were moving fast across the pale blue firmament. The cemetery was surrounded by trees and now covered with their dry leaves. They lay on the ground like a colourful carpet, hiding some of the gravestones beneath them, so you had to pay attention where you were walking. It was such a typical autumn scenery, but at least according to calendar it was summer still and with the warm temperatures and the continuing absence of rain, it was hard to think about wool-jumpers, gumboots and umbrellas.

There were rather many people on the cemetery and most of those had assembled around the memorial stones, which have been put up to honour Konoha's heroes. Those who already fought in wars, but did not live long enough to tell their tales. How many new names would come to join them by the end of the next war?

Neither of them has been to the new cemetery yet, so they did not know where to find what they were searching for. Didn't even know if it existed in the first place. They read the inscriptions on every single gravestone they passed, as they walked through aisle after aisle, but to no avail. Almost twenty minutes later, as they were close to giving up, they encountered something that at least looked promising. They saw a stone with a red semicircle in the upper centre with something white underneath that was mostly hidden underneath the dry foliage though.

"Is this it?" Sayuri asked. She stepped on the brake of the buggy and then walked around it and bowed down before the stone, to brush away some of the leaves that were concealing the inscription. As expected, the symbol she had spotted before turned out to be a small fan with a red top and a white bottom.

"Uchiha," she read out the first line under the crest and looked over her shoulder at Sasuke. "Found it."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded without showing any emotions and put his son down beside Sayuri to keep him from whining. His good mood was restored in an instant, as he copied his mother and started flailing at the leaves, with a wide smile on his lips.

"Way to go! Thank you," she praised the small boy, as all the leaves were gone, and pulled him back, so he could stand between her knees. She kissed his cheek and then let her eyes wander across the gravestone again. "So many names…"

Sasuke crouched down beside her, his face as blank as stone. This was the first time that he visited his family's grave and although they weren't even lying here, it still felt weird.

Though he might look perfectly composed on the outside, that's what he wasn't. Sayuri knew him well enough to see that he was tense. It was something about the way he had his fists clenched by his sides and the vacant look in his eyes. "One name is missing though…"

Coming here was a bad idea, Sayuri was sure of that now, but it has been his idea. He had voluntarily opened a door he had so far kept shut and now she could literally feel him slip away from her, the way he always did when he thought about his brother. It was easy for her to tell of which nature these thoughts were; they had caused his chakra to become darker within seconds. He had to be thinking about the sacrifice Itachi had made for him. The sacrifice that had allowed his little brother to go back to the village that had so readily discarded of him. Maybe he even thought about how it were his own hands that ended Itachi's life…

"It's how he wanted it," Sayuri said and reached for Sasuke's hand, but he did not turn his face her way. "I didn't know him, but… I'm sure he would have wanted you to be here. He wanted you to have a good life. You shouldn't feel guilty about the way you live-"

_About being alive when he wasn't._

"-but be thankful and comply with his last wish. Otherwise it would be like kicking his sacrifice with your feet. You'd render everything he did for you meaningless."

"I never asked him to sacrifice anything," Sasuke said in a low, even voice that would have been considered dangerous by anyone who didn't know him because it so clearly spoke of repressed anger. Sayuri, however, knew that it was anger directed against himself. "There should have been no need for him to sacrifice anything."

"No…" Sayuri sighed. "But that's not how it works."

"Apparently…"

"But I'm glad that you realise that." Sayuri grinned at the man by her side, who now finally turned his face her way and gave her a confused frown, so she explained, "You shouldn't have to make this sacrifice either. So you did make some mistakes in the past – that doesn't mean you have to give your life away in order to atone for them. No one expects that of you and I hope you don't expect it of yourself, either."

"…"

She just didn't get it. This just wasn't the point. Of course he didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave his family alone, the way he has been left alone. But if he went into battle without being ready to die, ready to sacrifice all he had, then there was no point going into battle in the first place. Then he could just as well march straight into his grave. And that was okay. There were things that were so much more important than his own life. Two such things were sitting right beside him.

"You think they would have liked me?" Sayuri asked, but wished she hadn't, because his ensuing silence was tormenting. The fact that he even had to think about it was kind of disenchanting. Even if his answer should turn out positive.

"I don't know," he said eventually and he really meant that. He just didn't know. He didn't know what his parents would have thought about her; if they would have liked her… It was almost as though he had never really known them. It was their absence and not their presence that has been a part of him for most of his life and now he couldn't even tell what they would have said. He was a keeper of memories of the deceased, not the living. "But you give me a reason to live."

_That should have made them like you._

"Really?" she asked with an uncertain smile on her face.

"Yes," he said and looked a last time at his parents' names, before he rose to his feet. "It's about time."

He held out his hand to her and she did not hesitate to take it.

* * *

><p>"I didn't think there'd be so many people here."<p>

After visiting the cemetery, they had set out for the office where marriages are conducted. It was located in the same building where mission reports were handed out, just the opposite wing of it. A wing neither of them had visited yet, which is why, upon entering the large, but astoundingly crowded hall, they had first halted in the doorframe and wondered if they were right here.

Apparently they were. They had not reckoned that so many people would hurry to get married, before the imminent war. They had not reckoned that so many people would have the same idea as them. The fear drove them together. They were here now, so that even if one of them was no longer there anymore, everyone will know they belonged together.

_Till death do us part._

But nothing seemed right. All these people wanted to get married; they were here on the supposedly happiest day of their lives, but there wasn't a single person who seemed happy right now. Though who was to blame them? Still it was kind of reassuring to think that they were not the only ones who were here to enter into the bond of marriage for the wrong reasons. Sasuke's reasons were wrong and so were hers, and still she had at length agreed. Although there has been a little condition linked to her _I do_. She had made him promise to at least wait and listen to the plans the Kage had in mind, before he'd set out by himself. It was only a day or two of delay, but even so she hadn't expected him to agree to her condition, but if he hadn't, then it wouldn't have been her who had declined his proposal but him. His whole talk about setting out immediately must have been a hasty decision on his part, too. Otherwise there would have been nothing she could do to talk him out of it.

And now here they were, standing in line to become Mr and Mrs Uchiha, for all the advantages it brought them. Sasuke wanted to marry her for practical reasons, so why shouldn't she do the same? What good would it do her to marry him, when she would become a widow right afterwards?

"There are twelve more couples before us," Sasuke said, as he returned from the reception desk.

That meant they were couple number 13. Lucky them…

"Maybe we should leave it after all," Sayuri said with a shrug, determined to avoid Sasuke's gaze.

"You want to back out of your own deal?"

"I… I don't know." She shrugged again. She really didn't know. She had come here, knowing that it was for a greater good and then marrying the man she loved couldn't be considered as punishment either, but it just felt all wrong, for more than the obvious reasons…

There was still this thing Sasuke didn't know about her. Something that might make him think twice about wanting to marry her. Wanting to be with her… He even knew that she was hiding something from him, but he had never asked again. As though he didn't care or didn't think she could have a secret that was worth keeping or didn't think there was anything important she could hide from him. At other times that assessment would be correct, but not so now…

"So you're really sure about this?" she asked.

"Hn." He nodded, without even having to think about it.

"Really, really sure?"

"Yes, Sayuri," he said with emphasis, which made clear that he was beginning to get annoyed by her constant doubts.

"How so?"

"You're thinking too much." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, before giving his soon-to-be wife a long look. "C'mon." He opened his arms, beckoning her to come closer. She first checked on Mikan, but he seemed content enough watching the people, so she slipped into Sasuke's arms and then just stood there, letting herself gather his strength, his conviction.

"Kiss me," she said and watched him frown. "We're about to get married – you shouldn't be able to keep your hands off me."

Sasuke smirked in response, before he leaned in to comply with her request, though it wasn't the light-hearted, fluffy kind of kiss she had wanted. It was the serious, deep kind of kiss that made her forget about everything and everyone else. It was the kind of kiss he usually gave her when saying goodbye before departing for a long mission. But it also meant _I'll come back_.

This kiss melted into another and another, driven by pure need, until they at length broke apart. They looked into each other's eyes and for a moment Sayuri was overwhelmed by the feelings she had for this man – her future husband. She wrapped her arms tighter around his middle and rested the side of her face against his chest, listening to the quiet beating of his heart and trying her best to calm her own erratic heart to the same pace, but every time she was close an occasional stutter disrupted her concentration and it began to flutter again.

_Tell him… tell him now… he has a right to know…_

But she couldn't. She was too much of a coward for that. Just thinking about it seemed hard enough, although the memories came easily. Maybe what was hard was to keep them away… She remembered it all too clearly, that day in the hospital…

* * *

><p>…<em>Finally the door opened and a small woman with dark curly hair stood in its frame, peering into the corridor through her thick-glassed spectacles. She had to be as blind as a mole.<em>

"_Yes," Sayuri replied wide-eyed, jumping to her feet at once. So much to looking composed in front of Sakura._

"_Come in, if you please."_

"_Yes. " She nodded and took a deep breath, before slowly turning back to Sakura. "I've got to go."_

"_Me, too," the Haruno replied, averting her clear emerald eyes. Sayuri was sure now that she knew what kind of an office she was standing in front, but even so that didn't have to mean a thing. There were various reasons to go and see a gynaecologist – maybe she thought it was just a normal check-up or she thought she had a venereal disease… Maybe she thought nothing at all…_

"_See you around."_

"_Yeah, bye," Sakura said quietly, before she was shut out by the heavy door of the doctor's office._

"_Take a seat," the small woman said and pointed at a chair on the other side of the heavy desk, which seemed to dominate the small room._

"_O-okay." Sayuri took a deep breath, trying to regain her poise, before she sat down and clasped her hands tightly in her lap._

"_You're here for the pregnancy-test, right?"_

"…" _She tried to speak, but her mouth had gone dry, so she left it at nodding her head, bracing herself for what was about to come._

"_Just a second please," the doctor said and started sorting through a pile of files in one corner of her desk. "Here we go," she announced and pulled out one of the papers, which had to contain her result. Sayuri didn't like the way the other woman's cheerful expression was pushed away by a thoughtful frown._

"_Oh…"_

"_Oh…?" Sayuri repeated and gulped heavily. _

"_Well… I'm sorry, but you are not pregnant."_

"_Not?" Sayuri asked and was at once flooded by a wave of sheer immense relief. This was almost too good to be true. And here she had already been on the verge of a nervous breakdown for nothing._

"_No." The doctor shook her head, her grotesquely magnified eyes still focused on the file, which is why she didn't see the smile that raised the corners of Sayuri's lips. "In fact, it seems as though you are incapable of conceiving."_

"_W-what…?" Gone was the smile again and now she was merely confused, somewhere caught in between the tension from before and the current relief. "Ever?"_

"_Well… I mean… there are always miracles… It's not altogether impossible – the only certainty in life is death, right?" She gave a nervous laugh, but as Sayuri didn't join in, she heaved a deep sigh and adjusted her glasses. "But from a medical point of view you are infertile. I'm so sorry, dear."_

_She reached across the table to take Sayuri's hand and give it a comforting squeeze, but Sayuri didn't react. All she did was stare at the table, not able to comprehend what she just heard._

"_I can't imagine how you are feeling… For someone your age to be told you are not able to have any children…" She gave the apparently frozen woman a commiserative look and pushed a box of tissues towards her. "Were you trying to get pregnant?"_

_Finally she was ripped out of her thoughts and blinked in confusion, before she responded, "N-no… no…" She shook her head and pulled her hand back, before she rose to her feet. "That's… great news, thank you," she said and left the office abruptly…_

* * *

><p>How could she ever forget about that?<p>

How could she ever tell him?

Sasuke wanted children so badly. What would he do when he found out she couldn't give him any? The future of the Uchiha clan rested fully on Mikan's shoulders, which meant for the time being he'd have to content himself with the three of them and she wasn't even an Uchiha. Could you refer to two people – a man and a baby – as a clan? She didn't think so and that is what made it so hard for her. She wasn't sure what was more important to Sasuke – his love for her or his ambition to restore his clan?

_I don't want to use the word 'dream' but… I have an ambition. The resurrection of my clan and… to kill a certain man…_

Part two became a reality already, though he might regret it now, but how was it with the first part? Could he stay with a person that kept him from realising the dreams he already had since being a child? Could he carry on loving her, when he knew that she kept him from moving on?

Funny how she never wanted any children, but now that she was no longer able to have any, it made her sad and she almost wished it to be otherwise. It made her feel like she was only half a woman, and was half a woman enough for Uchiha Sasuke? She never understood why he had started to show interest in her in the first place, when he never seemed to have looked at any of the various and all too interested women around him. And that's when she's been whole still, but now…

No way she could keep that secret from him. They couldn't base their married life on a heap of lies. But despite her resolution, her mouth would not open and even when it did, no actual sound would pass her lips and certainly no bits of truth. So as Mikan finally demanded attention, she was more than grateful for the distraction. Still it was with reluctance that she stepped out of Sasuke's embrace. He was her support; her haven of shelter and it made her feel exposed and vulnerable to leave his arms. But maybe it would make it easier for her to keep a clear head.

"You're tired, huh?" she said and laid a piece of cloth on Mikan's head, so it covered his eyes and he would no longer be distracted by his surroundings. Not even two seconds later he had already pulled it down.

"It used to be so easy," Sayuri sighed and scooped her son up into her arms, cradling him close to her heart and letting his tiny head rest in the crook of her neck. Rocking him lightly, she walked up and down in what little space there was, but he kept struggling and whining, making clear that he did not want to sleep, regardless of how tired he was. And he had to be very tired, because his usually so sunny disposition was covered by heavy rain clouds.

"Shh… why so sad, huh?" she asked the crying infant and gave Sasuke a helpless look, but he did nothing. It was an unpleasant situation. Nothing she did could make him stop crying and people were already looking at them, putting their heads together and whispering to each other, probably about what an incapable mother she was that she didn't even manage to calm her own baby. Mikan was ruining quite a few weddings today. There were mostly young people here and none had any children with them – there were two pregnant women though, but that was it. They probably had no idea how tough it was to deal with a stubborn and especially overtired child. It didn't take long for the first one to come over and address them and from how the others were watching him, they must have sent him here to enforce quiet and discipline.

"Excuse me," the man said in a hesitant fashion and was further unsettled as he was met by frigid glares from the two of them. "A-are you Uchiha Sasuke?"

What a stupid question. Who else if not him would run around with an Uchiha-crest on his clothes? That man knew very well who he was, but didn't have the guts to say what he wanted and so he rather wasted their time by bothering him with senseless trivialities.

"What do you want?"

"Err… okay…" he stammered and looked over his shoulder at the group behind him, who were all watching them and that gave him enough courage to get to the point. "We were wondering about what the Hokage said yesterday… Uchiha Madara – is he really alive?"

"Apparently," Sasuke shrugged, as unresponsive as at the beginning, whereas Sayuri's features had softened, now that she knew that these people have probably not been bothered by the noise Mikan made, but have been trying to think of a way to approach Sasuke and ask him some of the countless questions that have been left open after Tsunade's announcement yesterday. All they did was try to at least minimise the insecurities that were plaguing them, the way they did, too.

"You know him, don't you?" he asked and although the man was a few years older than Sasuke and was also a head taller than him, he appeared like an insecure pupil before the stoic Uchiha. "Is he really that strong?"

"He is an Uchiha – none of you would stand a chance against him," Sasuke said and moved his dark eyes to the group at the other end of the room. Most of them were shinobi; they would fight in the war, no doubt, and although he didn't know them in person and did not know anything about their skills, he was still convinced by his words. The way they were hiding there behind their spokesman – none of them would return alive if they were to get into a fight with Madara.

"B-but…" He gulped heavily. "But isn't there anything we can do? Everyone has a weak spot – even the Sharingan does, doesn't it? There has to be something we can do."

"Stop wasting my time," Sasuke hissed. "If you have questions, wait for the announcement or search for someone else you can annoy."

"Uh… I'm sorry, Uchiha-san." The man bowed deeply and though he looked mostly terrified, he also seemed angry about Sasuke's uncooperative attitude. Understandable…

"You could have been a little nicer," Sayuri said as soon as they were among themselves again.

"Tze…"

"They are looking up to you," she whispered and watched from the corner of her eye how they all huddled together, as the man they had talked to joined them again. She averted her eyes quickly, before she could see their reaction to his sombre report. "You could have been a little… _less_ devastating."

"It isn't my duty to cheer them up."

What he said wasn't pretty, but it was no less true for that. Who did these people think he was? He wasn't like Naruto – he wasn't their hero or saviour or whatever. He didn't care one bit about any of these people, unless they were of any use to him and as it was they weren't. All they did was putting him in a foul mood with their stupid questions and their cowardly behaviour. Weak spots of the Sharingan… Even if there were, what good would it do them to know about them? When finding themselves confronted with the Sharingan, the most these average people could hope for was a quick, painless death. _That_ wouldn't have been a nice thing to say.

"They're just scared and don't know who to turn to. I'm scared, too, and you're not talking to me like that."

"You're not asking such stupid questions."

Well, no. In fact her questions were even more stupid. It made her wonder if he said that because he felt like it was his duty to cheer _her_ up or if he was so biased in her favour that he just didn't realise it.

* * *

><p>In the following hours none of the people in the room even looked into their direction. But that was okay. There weren't many of them left anyhow. Now that Mikan had calmed down again, it was unnaturally quiet in the large hall and even hushed voices seemed like screams, so only few words were exchanged and always with the awareness that everyone else could listen to them.<p>

"Two more to go," Sasuke announced as the next newly-wed couple left the office.

"Last chance to draw back," Sayuri said and gave Sasuke a challenging look, as though he was the one who has been hesitating all the time, when what she should really think about was how this was her last chance to tell Sasuke the truth. He would hate her if he found out she didn't tell him something as important as this. Of course she could always deny she had known about it, but that wouldn't be true and he usually saw through her. Depending on the situation, he did have the decency to act like he didn't, but this was not such a situation and besides she didn't want to lie to him. There were enough little lies woven into the foundation of their relationship already, but this one was just too big to support the upper floors. If it came out, they'd break apart, maybe beyond repair. She couldn't risk what they had just because she was a coward.

"S-Sasuke?" Her voice was quiet and craggy, almost inaudible, as though she hadn't used it in a while or like she didn't want to be heard, which wasn't even far-fetched.

"Getting cold feet?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded. No point in denying that. She took a deep breath. "But that's not what I-"

As she had finally picked up her courage to talk, the alarm of the village went off, just like it did the day before.

"Damn," Sasuke cursed and stared out of the window at the rapidly filling street. A look at the clock told him that Tsunade's second announcement was due in fifteen minutes. Never would he have thought this would take so long and the first people were already leaving this building. They were calling it a day now.

"This is it, huh?" Sayuri said, without being able to keep a hint of relief out of her voice, which Sasuke did not miss. It had to be fate that they were interrupted right before it was their turn to get married; right as she was about to tell him about her infertility. Maybe this wasn't the right timing after all. He was about to go to war. It wouldn't be good if he was distracted by something like this. And if he didn't know it and if they weren't married that was just all the more reason for him to look after himself properly and come back home in one piece, so they could pick up where they left off…

"Seems so." Sasuke turned back around to her. The room was empty now, except for them.

"We should go, too."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded, but did not move and reached into his pocket instead. "Here."

He opened the small velvet box and waited a moment. Watching with a certain amount of pride how an awed look flitted across Sayuri's face upon seeing the ring. He took it out, but Sayuri seemed frozen.

"B-but-"

"It doesn't matter," he said. "Give me your hand."

She hesitated a moment, her mind blank and still the annoying din of the sirens and the renewed howling of her son in her ears, before she lifted her right hand. Sasuke only gave her an exasperated look and reached for her left one to put the ring on her finger. It fitted perfectly.

She took back her hand and watched the ring closely. It was so beautiful. Hard to believe he actually chose it himself.

"No." She shook her head and although every fibre of her being seemed to cry out in protest, she slid the ring off her finger again and although she had only worn it for a second she felt terribly naked without it. "Please, I do want to marry you… I really do, but not like this… not out of fear." She looked at the ring again, her beautiful wedding ring, before she shook her head and passed it back to Sasuke. It took her an awful lot of overcoming to open her hand and let it drop into his. "I'm a girl. I insist on a big wedding. There have to be some advantages to marrying a rich man, right?" She forced a smile on her face but that was nothing if not brittle, "We'll do it properly. When this is over, we'll get married with all our friends there. Please keep the ring until then."

* * *

><p><em>It was worse from then on.<em>

_Unbearable really._

_With the stage of denial left behind, numbness served no longer as a refuge._

_She could no longer cling to her grandma's words; could no longer turn into an insect, could no longer separate herself from the outside world._

_All that was left was pain. Pain, tears and bruises and the demon in him resumed gaining ground._

_It was getting impatient._

…

…


	20. Nostalgia

**20. Nostalgia **

„Wow! The sea!" Naruto screamed and took a deep breath of salty air. He was standing at the edge of a ledge and dozens of meters beneath his feet was the only port of the Land of Fire. Scattered all around the coast were houses with colourful roofs, looking a bit like candy from up here and when he didn't look down, but to the front, all he could see was blue and nothing else. The azure of the cloudless sky and that of the water. There was only blue as far as the eye could see. He couldn't even tell where the water ended and the sky began. It was a stunning sight!

"And right on time," Yamato said and appeared beside the Uzumaki, who was still stunned speechless. "Our ship will depart in two hours and there are still preparations to be supervised."

"Ya—hooo!"

They both looked over their shoulders as the Hidden Leaf's Sublime Green Beast of Prey ran their way with his arms spread wide, as though he was preparing a lariat and meant to haul them down the cliff. For a second that's what it appeared like. As his arms hit them, both Naruto and Yamato, too shocked to react, stumbled a step forward, but then Gai locked his arms around their necks and held them back. It was probably meant as a collegial gesture, but to them it felt a lot like a strangle hold. Still it was better than falling down the cliff. Probably.

"There is nothing more impressive than the vast blue sea! Don't you think, Naruto-kun?" He tightened his hold on Naruto's neck, disabling him from answering the question and well… breathing, but Gai didn't seem to mind. It wasn't him who was being strangled anyhow. "Every man should cross the ocean once in his life! I promise you – this will be an adventure you'll never forget!"

"G-Gai…" Yamato and Naruto stammered, trying to wrench free from Gai's arms and at last he noticed the bright red heads of his fellow travellers and had the mercy to let go.

"Oops…" he said with a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his head. Not a single strand of his pitch black hair moved. "Excuse my excitement – I always get carried away by such a view. I love the sea! Ha-ha-ha!"

"Ha-ha-ha…" Naruto joined in on his laughter or so it seemed, but actually he was trying to catch his breath.

"C'mon, Naruto-kun! The last one to reach the ship has to scrub the deck!" Gai hollered and gave a clap to Naruto's back, again knocking all air out of his lungs and then he jumped off the cliff, leaving the other two men gaping.

"Bushy-brow sensei!" Naruto cried out and stared into the depth, watching Gai vanish in the dense green foliage of the trees, growing at the foot of the hill.

"Can't wait for the next weeks…" Yamato sighed. He had no idea how he would stand it to be locked away on a ship with two men who had a tendency towards hyperactivity and stupid gambles. He didn't like the role of a babysitter, but he could already tell that this was how he'd spend the coming weeks. Splendid.

"Will he be okay?" Naruto asked, kneeling at the edge of the cliff now, but it made no difference; Gai was gone.

"I fear so."

"Huh," Naruto gave a sceptical sound and kept staring into the depth, when something else caught his attention. "What is this?" He pointed to the western fringe of the town, before he looked over his shoulder again, to make sure that his team-leader knew what he was referring to.

"Eh… that…" Yamato hesitated and stared hard into the distance. What Naruto had pointed at was a street, where a great crowd of people had assembled. They looked like tiny ants from up here and it was hard to make out any details about them, but what they could discern was that they were really numerous and that they were leaving the town.

"Where are they going?" He asked, standing up. It was definitely peculiar and not because it was a rare sight to see so many people leave their home all at once, but because it seemed to have become the norm. Every single town they had passed in the course of their journey seemed to be in an uproar. They had passed places that were deserted already and others that were in the process of being deserted, just like this town was, too. They had usually staid well away from these places, so it has been impossible for him to get first hand information and he did have a feeling that they had deliberately kept him away from there, so he wouldn't find out what all of this was about. He had long become suspicious, but that might have something to do with his history of being patronised and being lied to. But now they had to enter this town. Now they could no longer keep him in the dark.

"They predicted a storm for this region. So close to the ocean the town could be flooded with water. That's why people are leaving," Yamato explained, but Naruto found that hard to believe, with the sky being perfectly clear and the air almost stagnant. "Now c'mon. If we don't stick to our schedule we might get caught up in the storm, too."

* * *

><p>It was real now. After Tsunade's second announcement it was impossible to have any more doubts about the imminent war. However, unlike what you should expect, the villagers were not further unsettled by the inevitability of the Fourth Great Ninja War that was predestined to throw the whole world into chaos. The words of their Kage calmed them, it took away the uncertainties and they derived strength from the fact that they would not fight alone.<p>

When yesterday the streets have been full of panicking people, today a semblance of calm had descended upon the village. Of course people were still unsettled and they were still frightened, but Konoha Gakure was a village of ninja and in times of war ninja knew what to do. They fought.

Right now, everyone had a task to take care of and that made it easy to keep your mind off things. It were the idle moments which were worst, which is why Konoha was as busy as a beehive. People were crowding the training grounds and every other place that seemed suitable for training and they were helping out wherever they could; whether that was by readying gear and packing provisions or helping out with the organisation and arrangement of the evacuation. Only few chosen people had been called in to help out with creating strategies for the actual war.

Sasuke was one of them. Although Sayuri hadn't quite stuck to her part of their bargain, Sasuke did. He had left the house this morning in order to listen to their plans and hopefully deem them worthwhile. The fact alone that he even bothered made clear that his idea of setting out alone was born out of the spur of the moment, which didn't mean he wouldn't pull through with it. He was stubborn enough for that and too proud to go back on his word. The only way for him to come out of this situation without losing his face was if their plans actually did seem promising. If they did, then there would be no need for him to swallow his pride, which is something he wouldn't do anyhow. Not even for her sake. Not even if she threatened to take his son and leave him. He didn't respond well to blackmail and maybe he didn't take her serious in the first place. He knew that she loved him, after all, so why should she punish herself by cutting him out of her life? Why should she deprive their son of his father, when one of her main arguments to make him stay was that Mikan needed both his parents?

As so often Sayuri was at home. This morning she had taken Mikan with her to the hospital, where she had helped composing the medical kits every ninja of the allied nations would take with them to battle, but Mikan had soon gotten bored and so she left again, but not without taking a wide range of herbs, chemicals and extracts with her. The kitchen looked a lot like a laboratory now. This was one of her stronger points. She was good at concocting medicines, potions and salves, but also, or especially, she was proficient at crafting poisons and antidotes. But however skilled she might be, right now it was hard for her to concentrate, seeing as she also had to look after her unfortunately not tired son and then her thoughts always strayed to Sasuke. She'd really like to know what he was doing right now, or rather what he was thinking… What did he think about the strategies they were in the process of creating? Would they appear worthwhile to him? Better than his own or at least equal?

Thinking about it left her feel giddy and that was no way to feel when she had to be accurate to the millilitre, so long as she didn't want her remedy to turn into a poison after all…

When she finally heard the door open, she nearly jumped out of her chair and could only just keep a couple of flasks from falling over, which would have destroyed the result of at least four hours of work. She raked her fingers through her hair and brushed it back, before she washed her hands at the kitchen sink and then picked Mikan up, the moment the door to the kitchen opened and Sasuke entered.

"Welcome home," she chimed with a smile on her face, trying to cover up the anxiety she had felt all day by being overly cheerful. "Dinner's almost ready; just need to pour boiling water over it."

If she wasn't a good housewife than she didn't know who was. Although Naruto would cherish instant ramen more than her spoiled Sasuke did.

"Hn." Sasuke gave his characteristic sound and regarded his girlfriend with a frown on his face, wondering if she was losing it now.

"So how was it?" she asked and put a pot with water on the stove, adding some salt and stirring – anything so she didn't have to look at him; so he wouldn't see how nervous she was, but she was sure that the tremendous effort involved in appearing casual had to show, which would render the whole gesture meaningless. But she feared that if she dropped all pretences, she would crumble with them and that wasn't acceptable.

"Improvable… but not altogether hopeless… I've been appointed to be Proxy Commander in Kakashi's division," he said after a moment of contemplation and although Sayuri had her back turned to him, he could practically see a grin appear on her face. Her posture alone made no secret of her relief; it looked as though a great burden had just fallen off her shoulders and that although he's barely said anything yet.

"Then it's good that you are among the strategists, right?" Sayuri said and turned around now, trying to keep her expression neutral, although she felt a lot like smiling, but that wouldn't be advisable now. "You can influence the plans until you are satisfied with them."

Whoever it was who had proposed Sasuke for this position, she could only thank him. This was the perfect position for him. Not only did it give him more influence over the whole proceedings and allowed him first hand excess to all the information, but most importantly it flattered his ego by distinguishing him from the average soldier. Appealing to his ego always worked wonders with Sasuke…

"We'll see…" he said. Only because he attended the meetings in which the strategies were discussed didn't mean anything. He could share his opinion, make suggestions and offer criticism, but the chief strategist was still Nara Shikaku and in the end only his word counted. But then, same as his son, Shikaku was known for his genius mind and if there was any truth to the rumours, then he would listen to him and take his advice into account. "Have you filled out your evacuation form already?"

"Nope…" She smacked her lips and put the dry noodles into the now boiling water, using chopsticks to stir them and separate them from each other.

"And why not?"

"Why should I?" She shrugged, keeping her full attention on their soon-to-be meal. "Do you want soup or would you rather eat them like this? I could add some vegetables… It's been some time since we've had tempura…"

"Stop changing the topic," Sasuke said, irritation now clearly audible in his voice. "They need the number of evacuees, so they can start with their preparations."

"I know and I already filled out Mikan's form, but I won't be evacuated," she said, as though it was the most normal thing in the world. "So what is it now, plain soba or soup?"

"And what about Mikan?" Sasuke asked, trying hard to keep his voice level and remain composed, when actually he wanted to yell at her about her stupidity, but he knew that that would only make things worse. They were both so stubborn, if he didn't approach this issue with caution, then he'd have her do the very opposite of what he wanted her to do as a matter of principle, out of pure spite and who knows what else. Hard as it might be, he would have to restrain his temper and stick to reason. "You want to send our 10 months old son to the evacuation centre all by himself?"

"Of course not," she said and rolled her eyes. What did he think of her? "Ino will look after him. I already asked her and she said it was okay."

Actually she didn't say much at all, but she nodded her head and cuddled Mikan as though he was a teddy bear and she sought to be consoled. Ever since the news of the war Ino hasn't been the same, but she understood her. She was plain scared.

"I'll make noodles now." She knew after all that he wasn't really a fan of ramen.

"Even Ino stays behind voluntarily and you want to go into war?" And that although she spent the whole last day trying to keep him from going? He didn't have the slightest idea what was going on in her head, but she probably didn't know herself, otherwise she wouldn't contradict herself all the time.

"Ino is _pregnant_," she said, "Of course she stays behind."

"And what did you do when you were pregnant?" Sasuke asked, no longer able to keep a venomous edge out of his voice. "Risk your life and come after me."

"What if I hadn't?" she asked, her voice much quieter now. "Would we even be here then?"

Would he have come back, or would he still be with Madara? Would they have attacked Konoha already and caused the war to break out earlier or would the Hidden Leaf have fallen all by itself? Or would Sasuke have fallen? Could he have actually turned his back on his hometown and every single person in it?

"…"

"See?"

"_See_? Just because it worked out back then doesn't mean it does now, too. You won't go there." Now he had given a command after all, but he couldn't help it. Her foolish, idealistic talk was causing his patience to wear thin, which made keeping a clear head hard for him, so he rather ended this discussion before it could come to that. To his great dismay, Sayuri did not regard this discussion as over, but then he never thought she would.

"Of course I will!" she countered and turned around to him now, leaning against the kitchen counter with Mikan still in one of her arms and the chopsticks in her other hand. "They'll need every help they can get – especially medic-nin. Tsunade said so herself. The other countries aren't even nearly as far as we are thanks to her. She's counting on me."

In the end it turned out to have been a good thing that she struggled through all the material as she prepared for her exam. The focus of it had lain on combat related medical treatment, they needed people like her.

"Sayuri, this isn't a negotiation. I'm telling you to stay behind and that's that."

"Tze, and who do you think you are to tell me anything? This war concerns all of us and if there is only the tiniest thing I can do then-"

"-No," he cut in angrily. "Think about Mikan. What if something happens to the two of us?"

He couldn't bear the thought of his son growing up the way he had, alone with no one- _nothing_ but his anger to hold on to.

"Uchiha Sasuke! Don't even think of joining this battle thinking you will die. That's not going to happen, okay? It's Madara against the rest of the world, there's no way he will win."

"That doesn't mean there won't be any casualties. Madara has his men. It won't be a one against thousands situation."

"I know but… it's not gonna be one of us." She shook her head and bit onto her bottom lip, the way she always did when she tried to convince herself of something she didn't believe either. "We've gone through so many things already and yet we're still here. We are all still here. That just has to mean something, right?"

"This is a war, Sayuri," he said and this time his tone was not as harsh as before. "It won't be like anything else. There will be victims, thousands of them and you can be sure that it will also strike some of the people we know. Maybe even one of us."

"Can you stop being pessimistic for a second and tell me everything's gonna be fine?"

"I wish I could…" he sighed and watched her chew on her lip. And she was giving him that look again; the one that always made it impossible for him to be angry at her and which now made him approach her to take her into his arms. He'd like to tell her how everything was gonna be alright and whatever else she wanted to hear, but this was hardly the time for comforting lies. She was underestimating the situation anyhow.

"I'm scared, Sasuke," she said and leaned her head against his chest, savouring the sense of protection she felt as he held both her and Mikan in his arms. "And our meal is just ashes now. I should have made ramen after all," she added and scrunched her nose as the sharp smell of something burned assaulted her nose, but Sasuke paid her comment no heed.

"You have to realise what this is all about," he said and ran his hand up and down her back. "War is cruel and you better should be scared, because then there might at least be a chance that you survive."

That sounded too negative now. They would both survive and that unscathed. No matter what happened and whatever the price, he'd personally make sure that at least his family came through, even if that meant that all else would go to waste. This was his reason for participating in this war. His primary goal was not to save the world but to save his family and if possible make sure there'd be a world left for them to live in.

"I hope you take your own advice," she smirked and passed Mikan into his arms, before she turned around to the oven and took the pot with the terribly smelling and no longer recognisable contents from it. She tried to throw the black noodle pulp into the garbage bin, but they wouldn't come loose from the bottom of the pot, so she dropped the entire thing into the bin. It somehow didn't seem to matter.

"There is no need for you to worry about me. I'll be in the medical tents – far away from the battlefields – so the one who has to be careful is you."

"I thought we had that now," Sasuke said, with the sharp edge having returned to his voice and also his eyes. They were narrowed now, so they were nothing more than tapered slits. "You will not enter the battlefield, nor will you help out in the medical tents. You'll stay as far away from the war zone as possible."

"But I have to do something!"

"Yes," Sasuke agreed, "what you will do is look after our son and concentrate on being safe. Having one more medic-nin or not won't make a difference, so there's no need for you to feel guilty about staying behind."

"Stop acting like I'm useless all the time!" she pouted, not quite sure if she felt more angered or hurt by his words. "I trained really hard in the past months to improve my skills and-

"-you're not useless. You're just too valuable to me to let you go. I can't fight when I always have to worry about what happens to you."

"But it's okay for you to expect this very thing of me?"

"Good, so you don't want me to fight and I don't want you to fight, but let's face it, who of us matters more in a situation like this?"

"Tze," she snorted.

Okay, hurt. She felt more hurt than she felt angry and this wasn't how it was anyhow. It's not like she didn't want him to fight, she did. She wanted him to set out and kick Madara's ass, but afterwards she wanted him to come back to her and that's where the problem was. These two wishes were hard to reconcile. Sasuke was one of the few people who were strong enough to actually change something. He was right about that. And she did not have that strength. There was no point deluding herself, but what she could do was support the people who were putting their lives on the line in order to defend their cause.

"You're my girlfriend – my fiancée – it's the duty of the man to protect his woman, so leave it to me."

"You're such a macho – go and do arm wrestling with Sakura. Then we'll see who's stronger," she snubbed with a pout on her face.

It wasn't even surprising that he thought this way. After all she had perfectly lived herself into that role in the past. He loved her – she knew he did – but he didn't regard her as an equal. He was far too set on all these old roles. He could really be awfully old-fashioned and a macho on top of that. He saw her as the fair damsel in distress and he was her shiny bright knight, who kept her from harm, so it was really about time for her to finally take off her silk gloves and take out her weapons instead.

* * *

><p>These past weeks have been really hectic. There was no one who was not occupied in one way or the other. The air itself seemed to be charged with electricity, shedding an all-prevailing sense of excitement upon the village. It disabled everyone from resting and catching their breaths… resting and taking the time to think about the imminent future.<p>

Tomorrow – that's when things would finally start. Tomorrow all the villagers would leave their home; one part would take off to the evacuation sites, the others straight to the area that was about to become a battle field far too soon for everyone's liking. Of course there were those who were raring to fight, those who could barely wait to test and hone their skills in real battles, those who were determined to fight and defend their home, even at the cost of their own lives. Seldom were signs of fear shown in the open streets; it was an unspoken rule to act brave for everybody else's sake, same as not to appear weak when everybody else stayed strong. All of this to keep the morale high. Silly as it appeared, all these pretences might turn out life-saving during the actual war. As long as people still had hope, they would fight and as long as they fought, it wasn't a lost cause yet. They needed to believe in a possible victory because if they didn't, they were already doomed to fail.

Tomorrow it would all begin. The past week really had flown by. It was as though it had only been yesterday that Tsunade had returned from the summit and confronted them with the devastating news. But it was not and the last moments in peace had almost reached their end. The day was already as good as over, so there was only one short night left, before they would all abandon their home and face up to who knows what was awaiting them.

It was now as people were heading home to spend the last hours with their families that an uneasy silence swept over the village. The streets were so empty, you could be fooled into thinking they had been abandoned already.

"Are you coming?" Sayuri asked and poked her head through the door to the living room. Her eyes at once found Sasuke, sitting next to the bags they had packed for the journey and checking their contents again to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything. It was at least the third time he did so.

"Yeah," he said, sounding not quite there and he did not move either. He likely hadn't even listened to her. They had talked past each other all day, but that was better than saying nothing at all.

"There's still time tomorrow morning." She approached him from behind and put her arms around his neck. "But I'm sure we thought of everything, so c'mon now." She kissed his cheek, letting her lips rest on his warm skin for a moment, before she stood up and held her hand out to Sasuke to help him up and make sure he would not ignore her again.

It was still early, but they had agreed they needed to sleep, so they'd be well rested when all of this got started. Although, frankly speaking, she didn't want to spend but a second of what little time they had left together sleeping. Still she guided him to their bedroom, where Mikan was lying in the middle of their bed, sucking on his bottle with a content look on his face. The only thing he loved more than his bottle of milk was holding it himself. He was too old to be fed by his parents any longer. Not even a year old and he would already witness his first (and hopefully last) war. But at least he wasn't old enough to remember any of this.

With a soft smile on her face, Sayuri lay down beside her son and ran her hand over his soft hair, while Sasuke changed his clothes.

Not even a year… Time really had flown by. It was hard to believe that they returned to Konoha only half a year ago. They were still in the middle of building their new life and their house was finally as good as finished and now they had to leave it all behind without even knowing what there'd be left to return to.

The other day, Tsunade had called her in to tell her she had passed the exam, but somehow it had been hard for her to feel any excitement about the positive outcome. Especially since, as she had asked Tsunade for details or her score, she hadn't been able to tell her anything, which made her wonder if she had looked through it at all. It wouldn't even be surprising if she hadn't. She had no time, but needed more high-ranked medics to lead the troops, so she had more or less given her the degree for free. Because she trusted her. All the more disappointed had she been, as Sayuri told her that she would be evacuated. After a lot of discussing, Sasuke had gotten his will after all. He's had the better arguments all along, so it has been bound to end this way from the start.

So now this was the last night they got to spend together. In less than ten hours, she and Mikan would set out to one of the evacuation halls and Sasuke would travel to the venue, where the forces of the allied nations would assemble. He had promised to stop by and see them to have a look at the place they would be staying in and make sure they would be safe, so this wasn't the last time they would see each other. But it was the last time they would be alone.

The bed gave a quiet creak, as Sasuke eased himself onto the mattress. Raising her head slightly, Sayuri looked over her son at her boyfriend, her fiancé. He was lying only in his boxers on top of the blanket with his arms crossed under his head and his vacant gaze fastened on the ceiling. It was only just dawning outside, but with the blinds closed, the bedroom was almost dark. Only red streams of the dying sun bled into the room, dousing it in a mysterious glow. It all looked so cosy and warm… that would make it even harder to leave this place.

She brushed some strands of hair out of Mikan's face and lay back down, watching her little sunshine drink peacefully from his bottle. His dark eyes were almost closed already; it wouldn't take long for him to fall asleep. It would be his second long journey and this one might even be tougher than the first. It wasn't as long, but he no longer spent three-quarters of his day sleeping, so it might become tough to keep him happy. Most of the evacuees were either young or old, pregnant or mother already and then there were many sick people, as well, and they would have to lay back a great distance, which would take a toll on every single one of them. She wasn't sure how exactly the evacuation would pass off, but they would send the civilians to different safe-halls. Most of them were in the south, but others were located north of the Fire Country, so actually closer to the battlefields, but the halls themselves were easier to defend. And they were closer to Konoha, which is why mainly those people who had trouble with travelling over longer distances would be send there.

They, too would be in one of the northern halls, though she didn't know where exactly, but their group would travel one part of the journey with some of the ninja, who were on their way to the Land of Lightning. Afterwards they would still have many shinobi, mostly samurai, guarding them and they would take many breaks, but still it was rather unlikely that they'd come across any facilities where she could change Mikan's diapers and she would have to carry him all the way and small as he might look, he definitely had put on a good deal of weight, so she doubted it would be a pleasant journey for either of them. It would have been too much to ask of Ino, which was only one of the reasons why she had to go, despite not wanting to be one of these women who stayed behind and spent every day staring out of the window, waiting for their loved ones to return, wondering if they ever would… It will be tormenting not to have anything to do but sit and wait. Wait and despair. Wait and lose all hope. But there was nothing else to do. All that was left for her was to sit back and put her trust in Sasuke and the others; they had proven often enough that they deserved it…

Once Mikan had finished his bottle of milk, Sayuri laid him on her stomach and ran her hand over his head. She hummed a song for him; actually just a tune, coming from somewhere in the back of her mind, though she couldn't remember where exactly she had picked it up and when, but it was Mikan's favourite. She could tell because when she hummed it to him, he became really quiet and just listened to her, at least for a few minutes, which was as long as he managed to stay awake. He probably related this song and the milk to his bedtime and so he didn't even bother to put up a fight. Today it was no different, although it was a little early for him still – for them all.

Sasuke was suspiciously quiet, too, and she wondered if he had fallen asleep to her humming as well. It wouldn't be the first time… Of course he'd never admit it, but sometimes he came home so tired that it always surprised her that he even made it into bed, though today wasn't one of these days…

Sayuri cautiously sat up, trying to move Mikan as little as possible, before she brought him to his own bed. She tucked the warm blanket around him and then stood there, watching him a while, before she returned to her own bed. Sasuke still hadn't moved, but it was so dark now that it was hard for her to make out whether he was awake still or not. Intuition told her he was. She crawled back to her side of the bed and lay down on her back, her hands curled in balls by her side and her eyes fastened on the dark ceiling.

Sleep would not come easily today. The minutes dragged on. The last remnants of light faded. Silence closed in on them, droning in their ears. Even the ticking of the clock was agonising. The last night at home… Sasuke couldn't feel any different about it. He had to be awake, too and she could no longer bear being quiet.

"A penny for your thoughts," Sayuri broke the silence, her voice sounding tiny and frail amidst the drone of white noise.

"I have no need for a simple penny," Sasuke replied.

"Oh…"

"You?"

"Me…? I'm scared…" Sayuri whispered and kept staring at the ceiling, even as she noticed how Sasuke shifted his weight beside her. Even as she felt his eyes tracing the contours of her face.

They were both quiet for a while, before Sasuke said, "Me, too."

"Really?" Sayuri asked. It wasn't the fact that he was scared that surprised her – who wasn't? – it was his admission that brought a confused frown to her face.

"Of course I'm scared," he said in a calm voice and now Sayuri turned around to him, but cloaked in darkness, they couldn't see anything but each other's silhouettes. "I have so much to lose now… but I won't let that happen. I won't let anyone lay a finger on you." He moved on top of her, hovering there with his arms braced on either side of her. His fingers brushed across her cheek. "I love you. Promise you'll stay out of any trouble."

"You know… it's not like I keep count, but this is only the third time you said that…"

Not even as he asked her to marry him. He never said it when things were going well. It was the fear of losing her that apparently loosened his tongue. That was also why these words now left her with mixed feelings.

"Promise you'll stay out of any trouble," he repeated with emphasis and only as he saw her nod, did he nod as well before lying down by her side again.

"I'll be the one who sits in an evacuation hall while you're on the battlefield," Sayuri said with a bitter edge in her voice. "_You_ promise me that you won't get yourself in trouble."

"…" He did not respond and Sayuri knew that he couldn't because it would be a lie.

"At least promise you won't die," Sayuri said and propped herself up on her elbows to scan the pattern of shadows where Sasuke's face had to be. "Promise you'll come back to me."

"I will," he said, without a hint of doubt in his voice. He was either a good actor or an incorrigible optimist.

"Good." She nodded with satisfaction. "Because if you don't, I'll never forgive you."

Not that it mattered because in that scenario he was dead.

"Hn," he gave his characteristic sound and though she didn't feel like it, Sayuri couldn't suppress a smirk. So there was a bit of his old self left after all…

She lay back down and snuggled closer to him, her head resting on his shoulder, her hand in the middle of his bare chest. Sasuke put his arm around her and ran his fingers up and down her arm. His touch gave her goosebumps and for a moment she couldn't help shivering.

"You'll be okay…" Sasuke murmured and pressed a soothing kiss against the top of her head. He must have misinterpreted her gesture. "The next time won't be easy, but nothing is going to happen to you two…"

"I know…" Actually not, but that wasn't the point. "It's you I'm worried about."

"Hmpf," he snorted.

"But it's okay, now that you promised. You wouldn't want me to be mad at you, would you?"

"Never," he smirked, but even that bit of teasing was not enough to ease the tense mood and so they soon lapsed into silence again, which would have been fine at any other day, but not so now. Not in the last hours they could still be together.

"When all this is over, I thought about joining the police force," Sasuke said and kept running his fingers up and down Sayuri's arm in an almost mechanical fashion, but it was no less soothing for that.

"Really?"

"Hn." He nodded. "The police force was handed to the Uchiha by the second Hokage as a sign of his trust. If I joined them, I'd be home more often and our children would have something to be proud of."

"Yes." Sayuri pushed against his chest to bring her upper body up and nodded with a smile on her face. "That would be great," she said, a little more subdued now, for suspicion caused the edges of her smile to waver. "But it's kind of sudden… You never mentioned it before."

"I haven't given much thought to it before," he replied and reached his hand up to play with a strand of her long hair.

All he had been able to think about was Madara, but not what came before or would come after him. The after-Madara-part still posed some difficulties to him, but he remembered the before, and he remembered that joining the police was something he had wanted to do as he's still been a kid; as he would have become anything to make his father proud; anything to make him notice him at all. He used to be so jealous of Itachi.

"My father used to be the leader of the police corps. I always imagined I would follow in his footsteps."

"I didn't know that."

"I never talked about it."

But now he did. His feelings, his future, his family – he talked about all these things now, as though he was trying to squeeze all the things he could never say into the last hours they still had left. He probably did it for her sake because he thought it would soothe her to hear him talk about all this, especially the future, but with all the uncertainties surrounding what had yet to come, his words filled her with a doleful feeling. They felt so hollow and empty. The future was something she really didn't want to think about because if it didn't come true the way they had imagined, the way they had planned it, there'd be so much more disappointment.

He probably meant well by acting like everything would be well, but ultimately it was just an act and she knew it. And so it was with a tight feeling in her chest that Sayuri sank back down and used Sasuke's broad chest as a pillow. She didn't want to talk about the future, but not talking at all didn't seem right either. She didn't know what she wanted. It was all too much…

"You know, as we were kids I always admired you…" A smile flitted across Sayuri's face, as she thought back of their Genin-days. In retrospect, it seemed like such a carefree time, although back then it hadn't felt like that at all. Maybe one day they would look back at the present and shake their heads about how scared they have been. "I admired both you and Naruto – for the way you were dealing with your pain. You've both had such difficult pasts and yet you were living like it didn't affect you any longer. Like you left everything behind. I admired your strength and the way you were coping with what happened to you, when I wasn't even able to deal with the hole in my memory."

Sasuke remained quiet for a long moment, pondering about her words and when he finally did speak, he sounded distant, as though the words weren't meant for her.

"I didn't really like you at the beginning," he started and could literally feel Sayuri freeze in his arms. "You were wounded and all, but they said your amnesia had a psychological source. That something happened to you that made your mind erase your memories in order to save itself. You remembered none of your pain, when I remembered it all. Every single second." He paused as an image, almost a snapshot really, of his family, his parents, his brother and his younger self, appeared before his eyes, smiling, which was new. Back in the days, whenever he thought about his family all he could see was blood and the Sharingan. "I think… in a way I envied you, because you've had it so easy, when I didn't. But I felt bad for envying you, because it was a sign of weakness and so I ended up resenting you, because of the way you could make me feel. Because you always made me imagine what it would be like if I didn't remember what happened either. What it would be like if I didn't feel like I had to avenge my family by killing my brother. If I could just let go of all these things…" His voice trailed off, as did his thoughts.

He used to be such a jealous and resentful person. He resented Itachi for his father's attention, Naruto for his progress and Sayuri for not suffering enough. He always searched for someone to blame in the wrong places. That was probably one of his bigger flaws.

He was brought back into the here and now as Sayuri pressed a kiss against his collarbone, wordlessly beckoning him to carry on. After all she did not want to break whatever spell had just led him to say more than three sentences at a stretch. And she was curious about how it would go on, since this couldn't be the end of his story. Otherwise she wouldn't be here now.

"But I knew that I couldn't and so I resented you. Quite some time. And yet you were beginning to interest me. Your situation did and the way you developed your personality… I often caught myself watching you, unconsciously, and over the time I began to notice that whatever happened to you left its traces on you after all." He ran a hand across her cheek. Her delicate cheek… "That in spite of the amnesia, there was still that pain in your eyes. A pain you couldn't even remember and still it was there, without you knowing what it was. And I wanted to be there the day you remembered. Wanted to see your face then, see how you'd react. "

But now he changed his mind. Now he couldn't care less about who she's been in a life he's been no part of.

"Now I want to be there every day."

He kissed her lips and although it was dark, he was sure she was smiling.

"There's a long way from being interested by someone's situation and loving someone," Sayuri murmured and traced the fine lines of his abs with her finger. "So why me? I always wondered that… There were so many girls who would have done everything to get your attention and yet you choose me."

"…" He gave a thoughtful sound, his eyes again fastened on the dark ceiling.

Of course she didn't understand it; it wasn't easy to explain… He wasn't even sure if he knew himself. It happened gradually. It started with being interested, went over physical attraction and now they were here. But that was an explanation she would not content herself with. He'd have to give it a try…

"That day in the hospital, as I fought Naruto… you were there too, you knew what I wanted to do, you knew that I wanted to leave the village – you all did. You, Kakashi, Sakura, I'm sure even Naruto must have known it, but still you didn't try to hold me back. You understood that I had to do it."

There's always been some kind of connection between them. Something about the way they never needed words to know what the other was thinking. Or maybe it was only that despite having spent so much time together, they never really talked to each other.

"I never understood it."

A frown appeared on his face and his eyes wandered down to Sayuri, but she did not look up.

"I understood why you felt like you had to avenge your families' death, that I did, but I never understood the ways you had chosen. I never thought you were someone who would take the easy way out and yet you so readily ran into the snake's arms." She paused. Her eyes widened and her heart picked up its pace, though she didn't understand why. It was just something about this conversation… It was almost as though she's had it before, but thinking about it made her head throb and so she left it and carried on in a tired whisper, "I never understood that…"

"…"

All this time he's had a wrong picture of her and yet this didn't even surprise him. It didn't even anger him like it would have, only a few years ago, or would it really? It would have probably angered him more if she had claimed the opposite, the way Naruto had all the time.

"Does that make me sink in your estimation now?" she asked and he could clearly hear the hesitance in her voice.

"No." He shook his head. "It speaks for a sane mind if one cannot comprehend the actions of the insane."

In retrospect he couldn't understand himself either. Especially not in view of everything he had lost in exchange for power – the power that was to be blamed for one of the greatest losses he had suffered without even having foreseen it. A loss he had never imagined would strike him as hard as the loss of his own brother at his very own hands. That's what you get for a pact with the devil. People never read the small print and he was the one now suffering from his ignorance. He and his family. It could have all been different had he known. Had his mind not been clouded by his sole aim, his revenge. He might have known the outcome of his mistakes before making them; without making them. Then the present would not be haunted by waiting for his past mistakes to catch up to him. Would they even be here now, had he known about Madara before?

"Don't lose your head," Sayuri spoke into the quiet room and propped herself up on his chest. Gingerly, she trailed her thumb along his cheekbones, around the black holes that were his eyes. His deadly, but oh so beautiful eyes… "You tend to… you know? And I won't be there, so… don't let anyone provoke you… not even Madara…"

At the mentioning of his name, something cold settled in the pit of Sayuri's stomach. However it wasn't Madara's name as such that brought upon this sentiment, it was the remembrance of how Sasuke had behaved in his presence that did so. She could almost see all his old hate returning into his eyes, could almost see him turn into a heartless stranger again. And it terrified her.

"Especially not Madara."

"I'll try…" Sasuke replied.

"Try…?" Sayuri asked and furrowed her brows, before she sat up, suddenly agitated. "_Try_?" she repeated in an angry tone. "That's not enough!"

"What do you want me to say?" Sasuke asked and placed his hands on her hips. "You want me to lie to you?"

"Yes! -I mean no!" She shook her head and sucked in her bottom lip, thinking. "I want you to say you'll stay calm and also mean it."

"Tze…" Sasuke gave a snort and shifted his weight, but Sayuri pressed her hands against his shoulders, keeping him pinned to the mattress.

"Madara is cunning. If you show any weaknesses, he won't hesitate to seize them and turn them against you. You fell for him before-"

"-Exactly," Sasuke interrupted her. "I won't make the same mistake twice."

"When you're angry you lose track of everything around you. You'd be an easy prey for Madara and his mind games."

And she couldn't let that happen. She couldn't lose him again She remembered all too well what it was like to look into his eyes and find a stranger looking back at her. She remembered the way he treated her and the way he just looked through her, as though she was a stranger to him as well. And most importantly she remembered what it felt like. Remembered how it hurt.

"I know now what he's like. I won't let him mess with my head again."

"You say that now, but…" Sayuri's voice trailed off and she gazed to the side, to the window where at least a tiny bit of moon or star light distracted from the overall darkness. "When you are angry you are not yourself and I'm afraid that once you come face to face with Madara you'll just forget about everything else. You'll forget to be careful. You'll forget that you promised to come back. You'll forget who you are. You'll even forget us…" she sighed and looked down. "You'll forget me."

"I'd never forget you."

"You did before…"

"…" She was right, but it was different now. Many things had changed since then. _He_ had changed. She should know that…

"You'll have to believe in me. Can you do that?" He sat up with Sayuri still straddling his lap, bringing his face so close to hers, they were almost touching. He wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, disabling her from pulling away. She could feel his warm breath fanning across her lips.

"You have so much anger inside of you…"she whispered, averting her eyes.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"No…"But he might not like what she had to say because she wasn't sure if she did… She had faith in his skills, but his temper was an entirely different thing… "I don't know… depends…"

"If your answer isn't yes, then it means you don't," Sasuke hissed. He let go off her and turned to the side, making Sayuri tumble off his lap none too gracefully. He moved to the edge of the mattress and sat up.

"Wait!" She scrambled up and threw her arms around his neck from behind, to keep him from leaving the bed. This was their last night together, she didn't want to spend it fighting. It didn't matter if she had doubts or not; what she ought to do was built him up and not crush his self confidence under the weight of her own insecurities. He had to know that she would be behind him, no matter what happened. "I do have faith in you. You know that I do. And I always have." She pressed a kiss to the back of his neck and started massaging his shoulders. He was so tense.

"You're a bad liar," Sasuke said coolly. "But it doesn't matter. I'll show you." He shrugged off her hands and rose to his feet.

"Now you're mad at me," Sayuri said in a tired whisper and balled her hands on her knees. It was a delicate situation and she was not exactly being delicate by voicing her doubts; especially when they were doubts about Sasuke. He was nervous and irritable himself, but didn't want to let it show and so he rather left the room before he would lose his temper and prove her right. This was no longer about being right or wrong anyhow. "You said yourself that I should be scared and I am and I can't help it."

Sasuke glanced over his shoulder. All he could see was a dark shadow in the middle of the bed and that was not entirely due to the absence of light…

"I'm afraid of losing you and I can't help that either and this is our last time together; I don't want to spend it fighting."

"Then what do you want to do?" Sasuke asked and turned around.

"…" Sayuri didn't answer at once, but after a moment she rose up on her knees and put her arms around Sasuke's neck, her hand raking through his hair. "Make love to me," she whispered, her lips brushing his cheek with every word. "So neither of us will forget how it feels…"

And Sayuri on her part would not forget it. She would not forget the despair, the fear hidden within their every movement, nor the insecurity she felt when he held her close. What was missing was the shelter she usually felt when lying in his arms and she didn't think that she could make him feel any better, any more confident, either. It felt wrong and yet not, because despite everything they were there for each other, for better or for worse.

* * *

><p>"… So you see, joining forces would bolster your fighting power greatly. What do you say?"<p>

"I'd say you're pretty generous… What's in it for you?"

"I want only one thing in exchange for my help."

"And what would that be?"

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"Uchiha Sasuke? Why? What do you want to accomplish?"

"Oh… nothing much… My sole interest lies in learning the pure, unaltered truth about ninjutsu. That is all. And I need Sasuke's Sharingan for that."

"I fear Uchiha Sasuke turned his back on me. He is no longer a part of my organisation."

"Is that a hindrance?"

"Heh…" An amused snort, "No. Allright. I accept your offer. On one condition."

"_Condition_?"

"Right. I will hand him over to you. However not before I've settled my score with him."

"Will there be enough of him left after you're finished with him?"

"Oh, never mind that. Unlike him I'm not much of a vengeful person. But he needs to learn his lesson. I already have something in mind… A little game. It'll teach him what happens to those who betray Uchiha Madara."

* * *

><p><em>Sleep had re-staked its claim on her mind. No more open windows, no pacing through the room to keep from drifting off. Just as she had feared falling asleep, she now feared being awake. Without her walls, she was far too easy a prey for the blood-stained memories of her previous life. Pretending they weren't gone was no longer an option. There were fewer and fewer options altogether.<em>

_By the time she woke up it was too late._

_Too late to press her eyes shut and crawl under her blanket._

_Too late to hide in a wardrobe._

_Too late to will herself into a tiny, inconspicuous insect._

"_Kagai…sama…" she murmured, her voice still foreign to her ears._

_He did not respond. Instead he stepped over the boundary between shadows and moonlit floorboards. She could see slitted eyes, taunting and threatening. A wolfish leer, exposing jagged teeth, yellowed and scraggly. Long hair, flowing like pitch over his broad shoulders. Every moonlit bit of him was consumed by malice. She didn't even want to fathom how it was with what remained in the darkness._

_At last it happened. The demon had taken over. _

_She knew she wouldn't survive this night._

…

…


	21. Autumn snow

**21. Autumn snow**

The sun came up like a giant ball of flame, burning a hole into the dim morning sky. Brilliant shades of orange and red leaked out and drove away the last remnants of night. The new day presented itself in all its glory. That just made it all the more awful.

"Are you ready?" Sasuke asked.

"… … Yes…" Sayuri nodded, heavy-hearted and directed a last, doleful look across the living room of their home. Their things were packed, they had enough provisions for a journey that was twice as long as this one, the fridge was empty, power and water were turned off and-

-she didn't want to go…

"We'll come back…" Sasuke said, as though reading her thoughts and approached his girlfriend. He took her bag out of her hands and hung it over his shoulder, although he was already carrying his own backpack and Mikan. For a moment Sayuri wanted to protest and tell him she could carry it herself, but she didn't think he would listen to her and the words wouldn't come out of her mouth, anyway.

The past days had left her infinitely weary, when this was no way to feel at the moment. They hadn't slept the night. At least she didn't think so. They have been too busy with trying to stock up on happy memories in some odd no man's land between sleeping and waking. Memories that ended up as nothing more than vague half-impressions that dissolved in the light of day. It has been an intensive time and yet she couldn't possibly break it down into its separate parts; couldn't recall any details, but finding her own fear reflected, shared, understood in his touch, until at least parts of it vanished in the silent moments of night. Now the beautiful but unbearably cruel sun brought it all back again.

"Okay," she sighed and tugged at the sleeves of her sweater to pull them all the way over her fingers, but she did not move otherwise.

It were only walls and floors and some random, not even particularly nice or even whole pieces of furniture – only inanimate things and still she would miss this place; their first real home as a family… They hadn't even lived here so long and yet this place was already charged with memories and dreams for the future. None of these had included weathering a war… They had always known that it wouldn't be easy, but never had they reckoned with anything quite like this.

"Then c'mon. It's time," Sasuke said and as Sayuri looked up, she realised that he was already standing in the door, waiting for her to finally come out of her shell and resign herself to the inevitable.

"Okay…" She nodded and filled her lungs with a deep breath of the familiar air to bring some life into her heavy limbs, though what really kept her rooted in place were not her legs but her head. She didn't want to go, but it's not like it mattered. It felt like wading through a thick mire and seemed to take ages, but eventually Sayuri closed up to her boyfriend and reached for his one free hand. He was not to be envied, the poor guy. But he did not complain. Without a word he watched the young mother close her eyes, holding his hand in both of hers now.

This was the last time she could show weakness. Once they set out, she would have to stay strong for her son's and her own sake. Then she could no longer look back, no longer think about how she might never see him again, then she could no longer rely on Sasuke's strength. But if she didn't get a grip on herself, then she would only worry Sasuke and therewith distract him, when it was essential for him to be focussed and level-headed. That meant not even now. For them the first stages of war had already started.

"We'll be late," Sayuri said with a strained smile on her face and forced herself to let go of Sasuke's hand. "Are you sure it's not too heavy?"

"No," Sasuke said and reached for her hand again. "But you're right. We have to go." His dark eyes rested on her for a moment, before he gave a slight nod of the head and led them to the front door.

The sun had already risen, but the air was still chilly and damp. Colourful leaves covered the ground and glistened with moisture, reflecting the pale light of the sun. They didn't even crackle as they walked over them. They were headed for the western part of the village. There Sayuri's group would gather and Sasuke had to go to the assembly hall in the Hokage building, where they would discuss about the latest strategies and the final arrangement of the teams, before setting off themselves.

The longer they walked, the fuller the streets became, but it was no less quiet for that. They, too, did not speak, until they reached the crossroad where their ways would have to part.

"So this is farewell now," Sayuri murmured as they came to a halt at the side of the road.

"I can walk you to the gate," Sasuke said and let his eyes wander over the waves of people, surging down the street.

"Then you'll be late," Sayuri objected and took her shoulder bag from Sasuke. It was terribly heavy, as though she had packed their whole fridge into it. This would be a most unpleasant journey… "It's not far anyway. We'll be fine."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded. "I'll come over as soon as I can and tell you if there's anything new."

"Yes." She gave him a thankful smile and looked at her son in Sasuke's arms. How very similar they were. It only took a single look to know they were father and son and it was easy to tell how proud that made Sasuke. Her smile wavered a little, but did not vanish as she rose on tiptoe and pressed a soft kiss against Sasuke's lips, before taking Mikan out of his arms.

"We won't see daddy for a while, so say bye-bye." She reached for Mikan's hand and waved it at Sasuke.

"_Ba-ba_-" The small boy laughed and vigorously waved his hands at his father or maybe he was lashing out at an invisible swarm of angry bees. It really was good that he did not understand the meaning of farewell yet.

"Hn." Sasuke smirked and ruffled his son's hair, but then a more serious expression settled upon his features and he rested his hand on the top of Mikan's head. "You're the man now, so look after your mother for me."

"Tze…" Sayuri clicked her tongue and watched Mikan reach for his father's hand and tug it down. "We'll be fine, thank you. Oh, before I forget it…" She reached into her bag and pulled out a blank envelope, she then handed to Sasuke with a smile. "So you won't forget us… Gosh… I'll really miss you… Make sure to end this war quickly and come back to us… So long…"

She had spent all night trying to think about what to say to him when they would part ways and how to say it to him. She had wanted her last words to him to be both encouraging but also cautionary, but most of all hopeful, light-hearted. As though there really was nothing to be afraid of. Well, this was what she came up with and now that the words were out, she realised just how insufficient they were. Not at all how she had meant them to be. But then there probably was no perfect way to do this.

She took a deep breath and turned around, because if she didn't do so now, she doubted she'd be able to do so at all. There was nothing more awful than this whole farewell-thing. Despite her resolution, she didn't get far, though, because even before her foot touched the ground again for step number one away from him, Sasuke pulled her back around and kissed her hard on the lips.

For a moment, a far too brief moment, they forgot about everything around them. They forgot about what had yet to come, forgot that they were in the middle of the street, forgot about the roller coaster ride of the last week. Only as Mikan's hands in their faces reminded them that they were by no means alone, did they break apart and return to reality. It was such an unpleasant place to be at, right now…

Sayuri took a step back and brushed a hand over her mouth. "Sorry for ignoring you, sweetie." She pressed a kiss against Mikan's cheek and gave Sasuke a sheepish smile. "Are you sure you'll have time to visit us?"

"Hn." He nodded.

"Good, then see you around." And as Sayuri turned around to walk away this time, Sasuke did not hold her back. And so she left. Sasuke watched the Uchiha crest on the back of the jacket he had made her wear become smaller and smaller until she disappeared in the distance.

Once they were out of sight, Sasuke remembered the envelope she had given him, still poised in his hand, and opened it. Inside was a photo of them. It was taken in their living room. They were sitting side by side. He had an arm around Sayuri's waist and Mikan was sitting on her lap. Sasuke looked the way he always did, distant, expressionless, maybe bored even, while the two of them were smiling into the camera, Mikan's eyes closed because he blinked at the wrong moment.

* * *

><p>The final conference wasn't what you could call informative; it was more like a repetition of everything that has already been discussed in the past week and yet it had consumed half the day. It was late in the afternoon now, but the sky was covered by a thin but consistent layer of clouds. It was a grey, unpleasant day. Not the perfect conditions for travelling, but it was better than the dry heat of the past months and at least it wasn't raining.<p>

It's been an hour now, since they have been dismissed from the meeting and had gathered in groups in different parts of the village, from where the various smaller groups of ninja had set out successively to make travelling easier. They would take different routes, so the time of their arrival at the border between the Land of Frost and the Land of Lightning would vary, which is why Sasuke could afford a small side trip to the Land of Sound, which was practically on the way, anyhow. His team was filled in and they didn't mind. Frankly speaking, he would have rather set out by himself and joined his team again at their destination, but they had to travel in groups of at least three persons in case something happened – almost like back in their Genin days…

The very situation was reminiscent of that time, too. Most of the teams had left the village already, but they were still standing here at the gate, waiting for Kakashi to finally grace them with his presence. He was alone with Sakura though. Neither Sayuri nor Naruto were here. He had been brought away to some secret place no one but the Kage knew about. Sasuke wondered how long it would take the blockhead to realise what was going on around him. If he would realise it at all…

Sasuke was leaning with his back against the wall, surrounding the entire village. Every now and then he lifted his head and cast an impatient glance at the empty street before him. Other than him and Sakura there was no one there. No sign of their sensei. Sakura seemed to be doing the same, though she didn't appear as impatient as she appeared troubled. She has never been good at hiding her emotions, though she has seldom been as quiet about it as she was now. He wasn't a good listener and she knew that. Naruto's presence clearly was missing here. Naruto would have known what to say to ease the mood. Maybe he, too, could find words of encouragement, but he didn't feel like trying. It wasn't his business anyway. What he wanted was to set out, now, and tend to what _was_ his business.

He wondered where they were now. It was rather unlikely that they had reached their destination already. They'd take many breaks and make a camp for the night, so they would most likely arrive in the Land of Sound around tomorrow morning or noon. Depending on when Kakashi finally showed up, they should get there around that time, too. Fifteen minutes. If Kakashi wasn't there by then, he'd set out alone.

"Uhm… Sasuke-kun…?"

The Uchiha cocked his head to the side, his coal eyes drawn to the pink-haired kunoichi who was sitting on the desk of the wooden booth, which was usually manned by Chunin. It was empty now as was nearly every building in the village. Within a single day, Konoha-Gakure had turned into a ghost town.

"Hmm?" He showed her that he was listening and waited for her to carry on, but she didn't. Not right away. Her gaze was fastened on the ground, her legs dangling from the edge of the desk, to and fro like the pendulum of a clock. He could tell by the way she avoided to look at him that she regretted having addressed him. That didn't surprise him, though. He couldn't even remember the last time they had talked to each other when it was not related to a mission.

Though Sasuke could certainly not be regarded as an expert when it came to human nature, he had still hit the nail on the head with his interpretation of Sakura's behaviour. She really did regret having raised her voice and drawn Sasuke's attention to herself.

"Uhm… You think Naruto is okay…?" This was about as far away from what she actually wanted to know as was possible, but she rather talked about Naruto. It was safer since he was something they had in common. After all it has been the blonde who held them together over all these years.

"Hn." Sasuke shrugged and kept watching his team-mate as though he knew that this was not what she had meant to say or maybe she interpreted far too much into these dark, inscrutable eyes of his…Nevertheless she felt the urge to stick to her story and not let him call her bluff.

"I bet he is… In the end he's always okay… right?" Sakura gave a nervous laugh and hopped off the table. She started wandering back and forth, keeping her back to Sasuke most of the time. "I can literally see him make a flashy entrance, once everything is long settled anyhow… He'll be so pissed…" she sighed. "At least if there is anything left when he comes… You think we stand a chance?" she asked and glanced at Sasuke, but one look at his stern face made her avert her emerald eyes again and resume pacing across the paved area before the gate. "Never mind… You're probably sick of being asked that by now… Just because you are somehow related to Madara doesn't make you an expert on him… right?"

Again a nervous laugh and after waiting a moment, in case she wasn't finished yet after all, Sasuke finally responded, "No, I'm not. And I don't know if we have a chance or not."

They didn't yet know enough about Madara's forces to tell for sure.

"I see." She nodded and felt her gaze being drawn to the ground. Her shoulders slumped and her head bent forward just so, as her confidence deflated upon hearing Sasuke's pessimistic opinion about the future. It wasn't much like him. She knew him since they were children and despite his gloomy disposition, he's never been a pessimist; he's never been one to doubt his own skills. And when he already had doubts, then she was a goner. She should have known better than to turn to mister ice cube when looking for words of encouragement. Although he hadn't literally said they had no chance. What he said was that he didn't know what would happen and how should he? He didn't know, she didn't know and neither did anyone else. They were all determined to win but also prepared to die. Same as before every mission. As ninja they learned from the cradle to live under the shadow of death. It was nothing special. In fact, she barely ever thought about it, but now, as she stood here, all prepared to depart her hometown, Sakura became acutely aware that she didn't want to die. This so very obvious notion hit her with such a force and suddenness that for a moment she found it hard to breathe. Though unlike what she told herself it was not the will to live but the fear of dying that swept over her in that instant, threatening to drown her in its wake.

Of course she didn't want to die. Who did? She would cling to life with nails and teeth if necessary. She was too young to die. There were so many things she still wanted to do, places she wanted to see, people she had yet to meet. There was still a whole future, waiting to unfold for her. She didn't even know what love is. Not like the love she's felt for Sasuke, which has been real enough, but always unrequited. She didn't know what it was like to love and be loved in return and she couldn't just die without making that experience.

She had wasted far too much time on Sasuke. She loved him before he even knew who she was. She loved him as he did nothing to even acknowledge her existence. She loved him every single second they spent together. Even when he pushed her away. Even when he told her she was annoying. Even when he left them all behind and burned all the bridges to his old life. His old friends. Her. All this time she has given all her love to him despite knowing that it wasn't returned, despite knowing that it wasn't even appreciated and yet she had gladly given it, because then at least she had known that, although Sasuke could maybe feel no love himself, he had at least her love and however little he cherished it, it was better than nothing. Furthermore, she has been convinced that as long as she just kept loving him, he wasn't lost. The darkness in his heart would not be able to swallow him whole as long as there was her love shedding a tiny glimpse of light upon him.

But as it seems, all her efforts have been in vain. As it seems, he has never been as lost as she had wanted to believe. He never needed the love she had so selflessly thrown after him.

By now she had learned her lesson and given up on him. She was no longer in love with him, but there was so much between them still, so many unresolved things. That is why she felt self-conscious and nervous whenever she was alone with him; why they couldn't just be friends and why she couldn't altogether let go of him and open herself to someone who not only took from her but also knew how to give. Someone who deserved her love.

She's never had the guts to come clean with him and finally close this so very devastating chapter of her life. But hey, they might not even be here tomorrow, so maybe this was her chance to finally find a sense of closure, so she could start into her new future in a hopefully peaceful world without old baggage holding her back. What did she have to lose?

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hm?"

A deep breath for courage and then she said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Hn." He nodded.

"But it's personal…"

A frown appeared on Sasuke's face, but he did not say anything and waited for Sakura to go on.

"I don't know where to start…" she stammered and looked down at her feet, regretting to have started this, when she heard Sasuke heave an impatient sigh and looked up again.

"Just ask."

Like it was that easy. But she had nothing to lose. What if she'd die tomorrow? She didn't want to take so many unsolved things into the grave with her. And if she didn't die, it would be like starting a new life in a new world and she didn't want these old stories to overshadow her new start.

"Did you know…" she started and could already feel her face burn with shame. She would have to do this quickly like ripping off a band-aid, before her courage deserted her altogether. "When we were kids… Did you know that I was really- _in love_ with you?"

A moment of silence followed her shaky words. A fresh gust of wind blew her short pink hair into her face, but Sakura did not push it away. What she did was hold Sasuke's gaze for longer than she would have thought herself capable of.

"You mentioned it."

That night he left the village and she tried to make him stay by telling him all these things he had already known anyhow. It hadn't mattered to him one bit. Nothing she or anyone else could have said would have made him change his mind. Not after seeing what Naruto was capable of… Seeing how much he had grown… Only now did the irony of the situation occur to him. Naruto who had always fought the hardest to make him return has been one of the main reasons why he had left in the first place.

"I mean _really_," she repeated with emphasis, "It wasn't just a silly teenage crush. I really, really loved you. And it took a long time to get over you."

So far so good. The first step was taken, which was more than she would have ever dared to hope. Now she only needed to pull through with it. And he was making it easy for her. He was just quietly listening without interrupting her or doing anything that would give away what he was thinking. When she closed her eyes, she could pretend he wasn't even there.

"I've had enough time to get used to the fact that you don't love me, but that you love someone else? I always thought you just couldn't love. From how you always talked about your family, all the things you were willing to do and sacrifice in order to avenge them. I thought maybe you had loved so much in your life already that you had nothing left for someone like me anymore. Someone among the living… And now you are in love and I… I have nothing. No one. I always thought it would be different – I wish it would be different – isn't that selfish?" she asked and looked up at Sasuke, for her eyes had been fastened on the ground before, but his face was devoid of any emotion. Devoid of judgement. She lowered her head again and carried on in a small, tired voice, "It doesn't hurt so much that you don't love me. It hurts that you chose someone else over me when I would have done everything for you. I would have become whoever you wanted me to be."

She would have given herself up for his sake. She would have become whatever it took, given him whatever he needed and more than that, without asking for anything in return. She would have- no, she _had_ loved him with every fibre of her being. What more could he have wanted?

"That's the problem," Sasuke said and buried his hands in his pockets. "I never had any need for a mere puppet."

"Huh?" She twitched briefly, as though an electric current had run through her body. "I see…" Actually she didn't, but that wasn't the point. "If things had been different… you think we could have been happy together?"

"Tze – you really are annoying," he sighed in exasperation, while his words brought a sad smile on Sakura's lips. How much these very words used to hurt her younger self, but now it was nothing but an empty phrase to her, something like the banters Naruto and Sasuke exchanged all the time and they were friends - did that make them friends too?

"Do you really think this is the right time to talk about this?"

"You never know what tomorrow brings…Maybe I won't have another chance to hear your answer."

"Even at the risk that you won't like it?"

"I never expected anything else."

Sasuke's eyes rested on his team-mate for a long moment, before they trailed past her and into the village, but there was still no trace of Kakashi. Oh well…

"No." He shook his head slowly. "Once you had seen me for who I really am _you_ couldn't…"

Her mouth opened to respond, maybe to protest, but he didn't give her a chance to. "Sayuri… she might not look it, but she is strong. Stronger than I give her credit for. She often struggles but… she has seen the worst sides of me and still she stayed…"

That wasn't quite accurate. It's not like she just clung to him like a vine to a tree, letting him treat her like an old doormat. She had threatened to leave him often enough and he could tell that she has been serious about it. Yet she never did because he didn't let her and that was the thing. She made him want to make her stay and at times it made him think that he needed her more than she needed him. He's been able to cut all ties to every single person that ever crossed his path and yet he has never been able to cut her out of his life. Not after he found her. He found her as he's still been immersed in darkness and she in turn helped him find his way back into the light. The light he had almost shut his eyes to for good.

"I would have stayed too," Sakura assured him. "If you had given me a reason to I would."

"How foolish you girls all are." He shook his head. He didn't understand why they all talked like his love was a privilege. He was better than most other men, but nevertheless Sayuri would be better off without him. If she had someone who did not drag her into trouble all the time.

"I don't deserve such devotion," he said and as he looked into Sakura's clear green eyes now, he could see a glimpse of the young girl he left unconscious on a lonely bench seven years ago. Then, from one moment to the next, every trace of that girl was gone again, as though she never existed.

"No, you don't…" she agreed and crossed her arms before her chest, her eyes seeming to just stare through him.

So this was it. Nothing of what he said was really new to her. She had thought of that herself – _that_ and so many other, much crueller things, so maybe it was good after all to have heard the true reason out of his own mouth. She just hasn't been right for him, same as Naruto has never been right for her and that was okay. You couldn't choose the person you love, but what you could do was choose to let go and move on. Open yourself for a new love to step into your life.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The air tasted like rain and she felt free.

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>Hidden behind a thick blanket of clouds, the sun climbed into the sky. It wouldn't have made a difference, had it decided to take the day off. And a dismal day it would be. With no miracle to make up for the bad start, this assumption was as good as a certainty, even now at only seven o'clock in the morning. The sky was the colour of soot; a dingy, dirty grey. And even what little light of the sun filtered through the dense cloud cover was kept from reaching the ground by a fine layer of early morning mist. The result was a world draped in grey. It was a perfect concealment for the group of people, travelling to a place that was said to provide them with shelter.<p>

Just a few more hours and they'd be there. Maybe three or four – it depended on how many breaks they took. They weren't as many people as they had been when setting out from Konoha. Their group of evacuees and guards had marched through almost the entire northern part of the Land of Fire yesterday and had made camp as they had been close to the border, so they could still spend the night in familiar and safe territory. Though the circumstances of their whole journey made it hard to even feel remotely safe, regardless of where they were. However now that they had crossed the border to the Land of Sound even less so. Not only because they had now set foot into formerly enemy turf, but also because their group of initially fifty or so people had split now and there were hardly more than thirty left and not even half as many guards – maybe ten or so and with their number being smaller they felt more vulnerable.

Although up until now everything had gone according to plan; there have been no incidents whatsoever. A boring journey, actually. The most exciting thing that happened was the change of guards. Only half an hour ago they've had to part ways with the ninja that have been accompanying them so far and now heavy armoured samurai had taken over for them. They didn't know a thing about samurai. Neither their strength nor their way of fighting, but they sure looked scary, but that didn't mean they were also strong. Everyone could put on a plate-armour and a helmet that made them unrecognisable and arm themselves with swords in all sizes and shapes and still know as much about fighting as an average pig does about flying. Appearances can be deceptive, if not downright fraudulent. But everyone was so concerned about safety at the moment; had there even been the slightest scruples about the samurais' aptitude to protect them, then they wouldn't be here now.

Strong or not, their appearance was definitely frightening and most of the children, especially the younger girls were intimidated, to say the least, while most boys, on the other hand, were exhilarated and some even talked about becoming samurai in the future as well. The really brave ones even tried to engage them in conversations, but only few ever replied.

Despite being so little, Mikan was scared of them, too. Whenever they only passed close to their guards, he became uneasy and wrapped his arms very tightly around his mother's neck. Sayuri was surprised at how much strength there was in these chubby little arms of his. This journey wasn't to his liking at all. At first he has been really excited about all the commotion and seeing so many other infants all around him. After a few hours, however, he had grown accustomed to the situation and instead of being entertained or at least distracted by the ever-changing scenery, he was plain bored and literally furious about his restricted mobility. Whenever they took a break, Sayuri let him down and used that time for some useless stretching exercises, which only reminded her of the pain in her limbs, instead of alleviating it. And since she couldn't possibly take her eyes off him for a single second and always had to hold his hands and walk with him if she didn't want him to throw a tantrum again, she had little to no time for herself (and the crouching she had to do when walking with him was killing her back!)

From time to time she asked Ino, who was fortunately in her group, to look after him or carry him a bit, but not really often. She didn't want to trouble the blonde, who was troubled by the entire situation more than enough as is. Ino wasn't quite the same ever since the news of the war. She had retreated into her shell and did not respond to any attempts at luring her out of it. She didn't talk, unless you directly addressed her and even then she only responded with as little syllables as was possible and most often a simple nod or shake of the head sufficed. It was as though she had given up all hope and was only a shadow of her former self. She was like a walking zombie and that although her body was currently filled with two lives. If Sayuri didn't remind her to eat and drink at regular intervals she wouldn't even do that and sooner than later collapse by the wayside, which turned the Yamanaka into yet another child she had to look after. That was okay though; she would have also done so if Kiba hadn't explicitly asked her to. _Just make sure she is okay_, is what he said, but that was far easier said than done. It was terribly exhausting to be around Ino at the moment because she felt obliged to act optimistic and cheerful in her presence as to not have her crawl any deeper into her shell.

They had walked most of the way together, but as their group had split, they had gotten separated and quite frankly she wasn't sorry about it. She needed some time alone with her thoughts. Just a little, and then she'd go and search Ino again and shower her with hopeful words and smiles and talk about the future. Soon. Now however, she just didn't feel capable to do so. It was tough to talk about a bright future, when you were immersed in worries about the present.

And so Sayuri was walking in a thoughtful silence. Overhead the sky was draped with heavy black clouds. It was much colder here and getting colder still with every step that took them away from home. She shivered at a gust of chilly air and readjusted Mikan's beanie so it covered his ears, which looked slightly pink already. It didn't help that they were huddled together like a lost flock of sheep and were mostly sheltered from the wind or that they were so many that it should be impossible to feel lonely. Homesickness shouldn't be a problem either, because from the looks of it, some people had taken all their goods and chattels with them and were now groaning under the weight of their worldly possessions. And with their dozen of grim shepherds, surrounding their flock, they should have nothing to fear either. They ought to be fine, but somehow it was hard to feel that way.

They've been on the move since only about two hours today, but Sayuri's arms and back already felt stiff from having to carry her son and their baggage all the time. She couldn't wait to finally reach their destination; their supposed haven of shelter, which was kind of ironic, because they were heading to a former hideout of the enemy. Not one of Akatsuki's though, but Orochimaru's. Back then as Sasuke had returned to Konoha, he had provided them with a list of all of Orochimaru's hideouts he knew about and these past years they had been combed through thoroughly, in the hope of finding something useful there and now it were some of the hideouts themselves which were of use to them.

Sayuri even knew the place they would spend an indefinite amount of time at. She's been there with Naruto, Sakura and Jiraiya, a short time after Sasuke left and the first mission to retrieve him failed. As they've still been full of hope that he would come back on his own accord if they only managed to talk to him. They had infiltrated the hideout, forced their way past Orochimaru's subordinates and the most creative of traps, but guess who hasn't been there… It was there that they almost lost hope of ever seeing him again. Had it not been for Naruto, they would have probably abandoned their search altogether and with that abandoned Sasuke, but Naruto never stopped believing. Despite everything. And now they all knew he was right.

Still it were no happy memories she related to the Land of Sound and she doubted the next time would alter her sentiments. Though it probably was a clever choice of location. If Orochimaru considered this place as safe enough, then it should definitely do for their purposes and Sasuke had seemed pleased as he heard where they would stay, so it couldn't be altogether terrible. Although Sasuke's approval spoke for the safety of that place, but said next to nothing about its comfort and seeing as they would probably spent a considerable amount of time there, she hoped it wasn't as much of a dark, dungeon-like cave as she remembered it to be.

No point in thinking about it now. She'd see soon enough, but more importantly she'd see Sasuke soon. They've been separated for little more than twenty-four hours and yet it felt like half an eternity. She had no idea how she would make it through the following weeks. Now she at least knew that she would see him some time today, but afterwards? Afterwards she wouldn't know when she'd see him-

-_if_ she would ever see him again, that is.

Sasuke is strong and he knew how to look after himself, which should put her at ease. Furthermore he had promised to come back to her and he was not one to break his word easily. Still there were all these _maybes_ and _what ifs_ and having used up all her optimism for Ino, she couldn't push them back anymore. She has been too worried to sleep tonight and now her energy reserves were bordering on empty and she didn't have the means to fill them up again. And so she walked, surrounded by a wall whose bricks were made of silence, trying to remember the things Sasuke said to her; the way he made her feel; all the happy memories they created for moments when they'd need them; moments such as this one. Just now, however, they didn't make her feel good, but filled her with longing. Though it was that longing precisely which kept her feet moving tirelessly. She really couldn't wait to see him again.

"We'll take a break here," One of the samurai up front announced and immediately the entire crowd came to a halt, as though they were a single being. Tentative voices sounded through the air, trying to start conversations, but they were carried away by gusts of wind. And the people did not roam around, but remained at their place, still encircled by the samurai. Enforcing discipline seemed to be their slightest problem. Clothes really do make the man.

"Phew…" Sayuri heaved a weary sigh and rolled her aching shoulders or tried to at least, but they wouldn't really respond. "Shall we go and search Auntie Ino?" she asked her son, who didn't even look her way. She had a feeling he was sulky, because she didn't let him have his way. His usually so sunny disposition was just as cloudy as the sky. It looked a lot like rain.

At least he was quiet at the moment and so Sayuri did not try to cheer him up and instead rose on tiptoes, trying to look over the sea of heads as she searched for the other person she ought to cheer up, but had neglected even more than her son. As she inspected the faces all around her, however, it was not Ino's that caught her attention. There, at the side of the road, a small group of samurai had gathered. They seemed to be discussing something, but it was hard to assess the nature of their conversation, seeing as their faces were hidden within their helmets and their voices were distorted by it, too. Dressed in heavy gear, not even their body language gave away anything, so staring at them was ultimately pointless and yet Sayuri couldn't stop. It took her a few seconds to realise what it was that had caught her attention in the first place. It was not the fact that the samurai had grouped up, but that one of them had taken off his helmet.

He was standing in the back of the group and all Sayuri could see was the profile of his face and a bit of his hair. It was blonde and his hairstyle was similar to that of Naruto, also spiky, only a shade lighter, almost platinum. His helmet had horns on it, so he had to be somewhere higher up in the samurai-hierarchy or so she guessed. Actually she didn't know what the horns meant, but from observation she figured they were a symbol of rank. With everyone wearing identical garments they needed some way to distinguish themselves from one another. He turned a bit to the side and she saw now that his helmet had not two but one horn – though not intentionally. It must have broken off in battle or maybe as a result of an accident.

_Enough now_, Sayuri chided herself. She ought to search for Ino, instead of pondering about the military system of the samurai or thinking up a whole life story for a stranger. It was tough for whatever reason, but eventually she did manage to avert her gaze, until she saw him move from the corner of her eyes and was once again spellbound.

He tilted his head slightly and now she caught a glimpse of his face. He appeared to be a little older than her, but much younger than she would have thought. It was hard to think of these heavily armed samurai as young people, but that's how it was. Furthermore, he seemed to have really soft features, almost effeminate, but in a handsome way. He didn't look like a warrior at all. What it came down to was that she didn't recognise this man and was sure she had never seen him before, but then why did she think she knew him?

Another samurai approached and reported to him, and for a moment Sayuri's view was blocked, but once he retreated again, the helmless samurai stood at an angle that allowed Sayuri to take in his face fully. Moreover, their eyes met. It was not just a fleeting eye-contact between two strangers who happened to cross paths. He had probably noticed he was being watched and had now caught her in the act and though she felt embarrassed and wanted to quickly look away, she wasn't able to and neither was he. Though she couldn't explain it, there was some kind of pull between them and she still couldn't shake off the feeling that she knew him from somewhere. She had expected the feeling to fade with closer inspection, but instead it grew and was even confirmed by the fact that he was staring at her just as hard. She knew that she knew him and knew that he knew her, too.

It was as though the world had muted all its noises and slowed down in order to grant her more time to get to the bottom of her sentiment. A dull ache throbbed in her head, starting subtly but gaining more force, more pressure with every further throb. Unrelenting pressure against the back of her lids. Her eyeballs felt like they were about to burst. It was painful, but she was so close to unravelling this mystery. The solution had to be right under her nose and she was afraid she'd miss it if she only so much as blinked.

Still in slow motion his mouth opened, his lips forming around words, but there was no sound. Like a fish in water.

Then she was pushed from behind. She lost sight of the so very familiar stranger and then, like thunder, all sounds returned and the world crashed back to regular speed, people moving, calling to each other, children laughing, crying and again a shove against her back, harder this time. It made her stumble forward and crash against the person before her. The spell was broken.

"Move! You're holding us up!"

"S-sorry…" Sayuri mumbled, still a little bemused and directed a confused look over her shoulder, first to the pushy man behind her, then back to the samurai, but she couldn't see him any longer. And she didn't understand what had happened either. She was back at zero. Every bit of revelation remained absent, out of reach, and she couldn't even fathom what had gotten into her. It seemed unreal, almost, to the point of being ridiculous, and for a moment she wasn't sure if she hadn't only imagined it. A daydream. She was tempted to believe it, if it weren't for the still persistent pounding in her head. It wouldn't stop and her vision had gone dim already. There couldn't have been a worse time for an attack of migraine. And then Mikan was howling, too. Howling right into her ear, so his voice had direct access to the source of her pain.

She pressed her eyes shut and allowed her feet to move on their own. They were so close to each other, there was no need for any steering.

"Please stop crying…" she pleaded with her son, but he likely hadn't heard her and probably didn't care either. "Just be quiet…" She started rocking him in her arms, but barely managed to move and lift him any higher. She felt weak and for a moment a streak of panic shot through her, as she pictured dropping him.

Where was Ino?

She forced her eyes open again and went back to scanning the crowd around her for the Yamanaka. But the second time around, it wasn't the Yamanaka who caught her attention, but something entirely different.

"Snow?"

Again the crowd came to a halt, all faces directed heavenwards, dazzled by the gentle glittering of the pure white flakes of snow as they fell from the sky in a light flurry. It was a striking sight, but the dancing whiteness seemed entirely out of place, set against the vibrant orange of the autumn foliage. Just a few weeks ago they had still been in the middle of one of the worst droughts the Land of Fire has ever known and now it was snowing? Something was definitely wrong about that, but the most prominent aspect of this natural phenomenon was the fragile beauty of the swirling gusts of snow.

One especially big flake landed on the tip of Mikan's nose and finally it managed to hush his cries. Having never yet seen snow before, he looked confused for a moment, his mouth agape and his long lashes clacking open and shut repeatedly as he assessed the situation. Eventually he decided he liked it. He started reaching his hands out, trying to catch the snow between them like you would catch a fly, but whenever he brought them back for inspection, he found them empty. So he tried again.

"The first time you see snow, huh?" Sayuri asked and watched her son with a vague smile on her face. She was glad he was distracted and the snow felt cool against her head, which eased the pain, but she couldn't shake off a queasy feeling about all this. And she did not seem to be the only one. A bit of snow couldn't be anything to worry about and yet, among all the exclamations of exhilaration, especially voiced by children's mouths, there was an undercurrent of unease. It made itself known in the way people exchanged rushed words or the hissing of microphones as their samurai-guards communicated with one another.

The scene split in two groups; there were people laughing and running around, feeling relieved by the onset of snow as though it was a symbol of the heavens, but on the other hand there was heightened alarm and even panic. The snow fell heavier now, like a white haze, undulating in dancing tendrils around and about them. Already the ground was covered by an icy crust and as the blizzard intensified, visibility decreased rapidly. The panic-group gained more and more followers and for good reason.

Amidst the whirl of icy flakes, no one saw what happened then.

* * *

><p><em>The sound of birdsongs, clear but piercing, roused the small girl from her sleep. From the position of the sun it had to be late afternoon already and she was outside, unsure of where she was, unsure of what happened, but the result of it was far too apparent.<em>

_She was soaked with blood._

_There was blood on her small hands, her formerly white socks were a revolting blend of red and brown and on her clothes it looked almost black. Even her hair was sticky and it felt as though her face was covered with dried mud. The ground underneath her was sprinkled crimson, too._

_She had no idea where the blood came from. Some of it had to be her own, but the rest? Did she kill an animal? A rat maybe? She hoped it wasn't anything else. Anything bigger… She was sure that if she tasted it, she'd be able to tell if the blood belonged to an animal or a human being._

_No, not a human being. It belonged to a demon._

_She had killed him. Had killed the last living member of her family._

_The young girl was almost scared by her own courage. She had only just exposed herself to loneliness and a life without a purpose. The purpose he's had in mind for her has never been an option for her, but she has been resolved to do anything to escape that fate. _

_Now she had. _

_She should probably feel glad, but right now she was too terrified, all alone, an ocean away from a home that no longer existed._

_She was lost._

…

…


	22. Those who break the rules

**22. Those who break the rules…**

"This is it."

"I remember this place," Sakura murmured and though her voice was hardly louder than a breath of wind, she at once had the attention of her two fellow travellers, but she acted like she didn't notice and stared hard at the entrance to the underground compound, as her mind conjured up images of her first visit here.

"Have you been here before?" Kakashi asked, but to Sakura his voice sounded muted, as though he was underwater or maybe she was, so all she did was nod her head.

She remembered being at this place; in fact she's been at this very spot on top of the hill, crouching here and scanning the building before her for any signs of danger, any signs of _him_. She remembered her heart racing – was it with fear or excitement? Whatever the case, there has also been a good deal of hope mixed into it. At first that is…

"Have _you_ ever been here, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked and gazed at the man by her side, the reason why she has been here the first time and the reason why she was here now, when she should actually be on her way to the Land of Lightning, just like everyone else.

"A couple of months," The Uchiha responded after a moment of silence and kept his dark eyes trained on the roofed staircase that was the entrance to Orochimaru's former hideout, as though he could see right through the thick walls and the earth into the very core of the vast underground compound. It had only been a couple of months, but it could just as well have been a year. Time had ticked to different rules under the tutelage of the snake. "It's the first hideout I've been brought to after joining Orochimaru."

"I see…"

So they haven't been entirely off the track…. She wondered how things would have turned out, had he actually still been here, as they found this place with Jiraiya-sama. Same as Orochimaru, he has been one of the legendary Sannin, but other than the Oto-nin he had enjoyed best health, while Orochimaru had still suffered from the repercussions of his fight against Sandaime Hokage. It didn't matter though. What's done is done. And anyway, he was back now – as a friend – which was more than she could have hoped for, after hearing that he had been willing to murder his own team-mate – a part of _their_ Team 7.

It was very dark in the wood. The huge trees, pines and mahoganies with trunks as thick as houses, allowed no light to pass through the dense foliage, which was still jade green despite the season. It created an impression of tightness and left Sakura feel the slightest bit claustrophobic. She really was glad that she wouldn't have to stay here. But was entering the battlefield so much better?

"I'll sound out the situation," Kakashi said, "You have ten minutes, Sasuke."

"By your standards?"

If so, then ten minutes could be anything between eleven minutes and several hours.

"Heh," Kakashi smirked, though with his mask covering three quarters of his face, you could only tell so from the way his one visible eye crinkled with mirth. "Just don't take too much time."

"Tze," Sasuke gave a snort. He'd take as much time as he needed. Kakashi really was in no position to give him orders with his record of unpunctuality. Though he did understand the necessity of them resuming their journey. Coming here had put them behind schedule already, so he would not let this degenerate into a grand farewell scene.

Without another word, Sasuke leaped off the ledge of the small hill they have been standing on and landed at the top of the staircase. For a moment all he did was stand there, motionless, doing nothing it seemed, when in reality he was scanning his surrounding. He registered the presence of ten shinobi. Eleven. They had more or less successfully hidden within the immediate surroundings of the hideout and were monitoring it from all sides. Only two had not bothered to hide. They had positioned themselves at either side of the thick stone door at the bottom of the stairs. Like everyone else, him included, they were wearing the forehead protector of the allied nations with the symbol for '_shinobi'_ on it and their village's flak jacket, which gave away that they came from Suna Gakure. He did not remember their faces, however, despite having stayed and also worked in the Hidden Sand for a couple of months.

His dark eyes wandered up to the two red symbols above the door. They resembled snakes and could be found within every single one of Orochimaru's hideouts. It was all so familiar.

He descended the stairs and came to a halt before the guards. One of them controlled his chakrastream to make sure he was neither a clone nor under the influence of a Genjutsu, while the other one checked the genuineness of his headband and took his personal data. That was the first safety measure, but he knew that there were more to come.

On other days these exaggerated precautions might have annoyed him, but now he was pleased about every further obstacle that stood between his family and any outsider. Eventually the two guards decided that Sasuke really was who he claimed to be and that that person was not a member of the enemy troops and so he was granted entrance into the dim underground halls, he knew all too well. It looked basically identical, the design of Orochimaru's every hideout. Long, winding halls, many junctions, torches along the walls and still that mouldy smell, he had learned to ignore as he had still inhabited this or a similar place. It must have spoiled him to be living in a proper house again, because now the smell and the humidity of the air were plain repulsive to him. The walls had to be infested with mould and mildew. And this was where his family would stay for the length of the war… Suddenly this place no longer seemed so very ideal to him.

But disregarding the health issues, this place offered a lot of advantages. Like for example the good acoustic conditions – there had to be more than fifty people in here and yet all he could hear was the sound of his own footsteps, being thrown back at him from the bare stone walls. The echo was being carried to the centre of the vast underground maze and would announce his presence in advance. His steps were quiet by nature, or maybe it was a result of years of training that had become habit over the time, but just now they sounded like those of a clumsy child. He did not bother to keep them quiet, however, since it might arouse suspicion if he did and since they were informed of his coming anyhow, it really didn't matter.

After another minute of walking through the almost darkness, the corridor forked into three passageways. There were five more shinobi here and the walls were covered with complex seals, trickling like drops of rain from the ceiling and down the walls, but never quite reaching the ground.

The procedure from before was repeated; his chakra was checked again, then they asked him for his personal data and compared it to what they received via headphones from the outside guards. Then they informed him that from here on, he would no longer be able to mould chakra. It was for the safety of the evacuees in the core of the base; as long as their chakra was suppressed, they could not be sensed from the outside and the enemy (but also the shinobi of the alliance) could not use any jutsu beyond the entrance region of the underground compound.

After Sasuke again passed the test, he was told the way he'd have to take and was warned that there was only _this_ one way and every other would lead either into a trap or into nowhere. Fortunately, he still recalled the interior layout of the hideout and knew where he had to go – after all, the hall the evacuees had been brought to used to be his training hall. It was not only the largest room here, but also the one with the thickest walls and the most pillars. There was no room more robust than this one, seeing as it had to withstand a lot of physical force. If anything were to happen, then this was surely the safest place.

With these things in mind, Sasuke made his way through the lonely corridors, until he reached his former training hall. The hallway before it was a little wider than the narrow tunnels he had passed through so far and again it was full of ninja and also samurai, who were guarding the door. It made enough sense. Since it was impossible to use chakra here, the guards consisted of shinobi who were apt at Taijutsu and the samurai, since they were renowned for their Kenjutsu skills, which did not require any chakra either.

Near the vast door was some sort of reception desk, with many scrolls and documents on top of it. Behind it sat a tall man in his late forties, poring over the lists on his desk. He didn't even look up as Sasuke approached him, until he harrumphed impatiently and startled the man out of his concentration.

"Yes? How can I help you?" the man asked with the kind of rehearsed politeness of a lifelong secretary. Up until now, he seemed like the only person in this building who was not a shinobi; either that or it was just a ruse, meant to make his opponents underestimate him, which was not exactly rare among ninja – though predominantly among female ones.

"I've come to see one of the evacuees," Sasuke said without wasting any more words on the matter than he deemed necessary. After all this man was a perfect stranger and his personal business should be of no concern to him.

"Your access authorisation, please."

He had to be referring to the scrolls they distributed to those who signed up to be evacuated. Sasuke remembered that Sayuri came home with two of them, one for herself and one for Mikan, but Sasuke was not one of the evacuees…

"I don't have one."

"In that case, this is as far as you go," he dismissed the Uchiha with a flick of the hand and brought his attention back to his lists.

"I've only come to make sure my family is safe," Sasuke explained himself after all. He hadn't come all this way to be put off by a simple receptionist.

"Oh, they are. Safer than anywhere else, _that_ you can be sure of," he replied and flicked his hand again. For a moment Sasuke indulged in the fantasy of chopping it off, if he should ever repeat that dismissive gesture again.

"I won't, before I haven't seen that for myself."

"That is not possible."

"Then call them out at least," Sasuke all but growled out, feeling his patience wear thin.

"That I can do," the man nodded and finally looked up from his papers with a polite smile on his face, "What is the name?"

"Sayuri and Uchiha Mikan."

Who knew how many Sayuris there were in this building; she should have accepted his last name.

"One moment please," he said and reached for a folder at the edge of his desk. He flipped it open and let his finger wander from the top to the bottom of the first and then the next page, going through the names, or so Sasuke assumed, but from where he stood, all Sasuke could see was a blur of blacks and greys, so he couldn't tell. He turned another page and then another, and instead of keeping his eyes on the illegible symbols on the paper, Sasuke watched a frown appear on the receptionist's face.

Finally he looked up and said, "No, they are not here. Go and look in another hall."

"They came here – Hall 3 – no doubt about it," Sasuke pressed out. "Maybe you missed their names. Let me go in and see for myself."

"That is not possible," he repeated, but as he saw how Sasuke narrowed his eyes, he became noticeably uneasy and waved one of the ninja toward him, who promptly came and darted questioning, if not wary looks from Sasuke to the receptionist and back again.

"Akira-san, please go inside and call out Uchiha Mikan and Sayuri."

"Uchiha?" Akira repeated, with his eyes open wide. It startled the young man, who could be no more than a Chunin, to hear the name of the enemy within these halls and especially in such a context.

"Yes, Uchiha-san is searching for his family, so please go in and look for them."

Now it was Sasuke's turn to be startled. He never mentioned his name and yet the receptionist seemed to know. Of course it could be easily inferred, seeing as he had said he was looking for _Uchiha_ Mikan and also said he was a part of his family, but he never did mention how exactly they were related to each other. But what startled him the most was that, despite knowing who he was, the receptionist hadn't let him pass and had treated him without the respect or maybe awe he usually received when revealing his identity. Maybe it was the knowledge that he would not be able to use his Sharingan in these halls that put the man at ease.

"Yes, I'll get them here." Akira, who was wearing the grey flak jacket that was common for ninja of the Hidden Mist, bowed his head and took off, after giving Sasuke a curious look.

"One moment please," the man said and turned back to his documents like nothing happened.

Sasuke sighed and turned around to lean against the desk and especially so he would no longer have to look at the incompetent receptionist, the sight of whom was making his blood boil.

A growing sense of dread settled in the pit of his stomach, worsening with every second he stood here alone, waiting for this Akira-guy to finally return with his family in tow. It probably was nothing – nothing but the receptionist's uselessness, so there was no reason for him to assume the worst. He heard that they reached this place only an hour ago, so their bureaucracy was most likely still incomplete – if that man was in charge of it, then he was almost certain of it. And had there been any incidents then the people here would act differently and he would have heard of it already.

"You are taking rather long, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked over his shoulder as he perceived Kakashi's voice. Instead of explaining himself, he only glared at the Hatake, before his head snapped back around, as he heard the door creak open again. The mist ninja returned.

But there was no one with him.

"They are not there," he informed them and gave Sasuke an apologetic look, before he thought better of it and settled back into a business-like manner; it wasn't his fault after all and he probably fared better by not letting it look otherwise. After all he had heard enough stories about the Uchiha and their vengefulness to not be keen to put his patience to the test.

"Just like I told you," the receptionist replied offhandedly and now Kakashi knew what was going on. He looked at his student, but Sasuke was as stiff as a board.

"Tze, I will look for them myself," Sasuke said. Doing his best to ignore the strange sense of weightlessness that had come over him upon seeing the man alone, he turned around to go inside, but the receptionist restrained him by his upper arm.

"I told you it's not possible," he said and snatched back his arm, as Sasuke's pitch black and dangerously narrowed eyes bored into his. He had known upon first looking at him that this kid was dangerous, but now he was also mighty angry.

"Make an exception," the words came out slowly, as though every single one of them weighed a ton on his tongue and now slammed down all around his opposite and still he would not waver in his resolve.

"There is a strict set of rules we have to follow," he began in a subdued tone, but as he found back into his role, his voice took on a confident timbre. "Where would we be if everyone did what they-" He was cut off in mid-sentence, as Sasuke reached over the desk and grabbed him by his collar. He half-lifted the man out of his chair and pulled him so close that he could see beads of sweat form on his wrinkled forehead.

"I'm not going to repeat myself," Sasuke hissed.

A moment of silence followed. Then Sasuke's pupils flicked to the side, as he found himself surrounded by samurai and ninja alike. There had to be at least two dozens of weapons pointed at all his vital points. Still it didn't unsettle him in the least.

"Let go of him and put your hands behind your head," someone called out, but Sasuke did not care to follow the instruction.

"My, my…" Kakashi smiled uneasily and planted himself in front of his student, his hands lifted in a soothing gesture. "Let's all calm down, shall we? This is a simple misunderstanding. Now Sasuke-kun, would you kindly put down the man so he can resume his work, please."

"Stay out of this, Kakashi," Sasuke snarled and glared at the Jounin, but did not move otherwise.

"Now," This time when he spoke, it was clearly an order. Kakashi put his hand on Sasuke's arm and finally the Uchiha released the receptionist and turned away with a snort.

"Phew," Kakashi heaved a relieved sigh, before he turned back around and let his one visible eye wander over the guards that were still surrounding them, still with their weapons drawn. "See? Everything's settled. Please put down your weapons now. I, Hatake Kakashi, Commander of the Third Division, will personally ensure that nothing will happen."

It took a little, but eventually they abided with Kakashi's request and went back to their former occupations. Though they did keep an eye on their small group, ready to barge in if necessary.

"So, now what's the matter, Sasuke-kun?"

Of course Kakashi already did have a fairly good idea of what had to be going on, but to be absolutely sure he wasn't mistaken, he rather heard it out of Sasuke's own mouth.

"The matter?" Sasuke's voice was rough gravel and his sensei could see the effort it took his student to contain himself. He understood him though, but it's not like it made a difference. A mission is a mission and emotions or personal matters had absolutely no room there. In a hall full of ninja, who had the order to act first and ask later, losing one's poise really didn't seem like an intelligent thing to do anyhow.

"They aren't-"

"-Sasuke-kun?"

They all turned around as the door opened yet another time and out came a blonde woman with an anxious face and a generally tired look about her. She was wearing a long, shapeless pullover in an elusive colour, something like wall. There was nothing flashy or flamboyant about Ino's entrance. She hardly appeared like the woman from their memories; the Ino who would take charge of whatever team you put her into and couldn't keep her mouth shut or her opinion to herself to save her life. As she approached their small group now, she appeared like a bleached out sketch of who she used to be.

"What is going on?" Ino enquired, almost in a whisper. Her pale blue eyes wandered from Sasuke to Kakashi, though she never seemed to meet their gaze head-on. "Where are Sayuri and Mikan?"

"You tell me," Sasuke's voice was just as low, but then it was hard to speak up when you were gritting your teeth against a rush of helpless frustration. "You were with them, so where are they?"

Ino flinched, as Sasuke's voice rose in volume. His anger was clearly palpable. The encouraging look Kakashi gave her did little to distract from that. "I—I don't know…"

"When is the last time you saw them?" The Hatake took over and did a little step forward, to stand between Ino and Sasuke. "And where?"

"I'm not sure… this morning?" It was hard for her to tell. She has been too caught up in her own misery to pay much attention to what was going on around her. "We must have been in Oto Gakure already, but as the samurai took over we were separated and I didn't see them since then."

"I see…" Kakashi mused," Was that before or after the two groups split?"

"After."

"So they did not get mixed up with the other group."

"No… they definitely went here."

"Did anything happen during the journey?" Kakashi asked.

"No…" Ino shook her head slowly and stared off into space. "Not really…"

"Not really?" Sasuke hissed and glared at the Yamanaka through slitted eyes, until Kakashi again restrained him by placing his hand on Sasuke's arm. "Did anything happen or not?"

"Well… it started snowing."

"_Snowing_…?" Sasuke repeated, frowning. He had taken a step away from Kakashi, so he would stop touching him all the time that old pervert.

"Yes," Ino nodded, "But only for a few minutes. It wasn't even that cold…"

"We already checked the incident, but it seemed to have been nothing but a natural phenomenon," Akira said, but the two Konoha-shinobi paid him no heed and exchanged knowing glances.

"A diversion?" Sasuke suggested.

"Possibly," Kakashi agreed, "So it's safe to assume they have been abducted."

"Hn," Sasuke nodded and mentally went through everything he's heard so far.

Snow… When you heard of snow, you at once thought of ninja from Yuki Gakure, but it's not like it mattered because it was clear who was behind all this…

"N-no way…" Ino gasped. They have been abducted right under her nose and she didn't even notice. They must be missing since at least five hours –-_five hours_ in which they could have already searched them. And it would have been much easier to find them right after their disappearance, while their traces were still fresh and they could more precisely narrow down the region where they must have vanished. Where they had been _abducted_, while she had been busy drowning herself in self-pity. A great friend she was.

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun," Ino stammered. She felt her eyes sting, but she did not cry. Could not cry. She had cried so much for herself in the past week, it seemed there were no more tears left to shed for the friend she had miserably failed. The extent of her egoism was shameful. It dejected her even further as Sasuke failed to acknowledge, let alone accept her apology. He must think it was her fault, too, and rightly so.

Without another word, Sasuke turned around, heading for the exit.

"Wait," Ino held him back and though she almost didn't expect it, Sasuke really did stop in his tracks. "What are you going to do now?"

"They never came here, so there's no need to waste any more time at this place," Sasuke explained, "I'll go and search for them."

"Hem-hem."

Now Sasuke did look back after all, as he heard the receptionist clear his throat.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are Hatake Kakashi, Commander of the Third Division and you are his Proxy Commander, Uchiha Sasuke, right?" He looked from one of them to the other, though he knew the answer already. "You are awaited at the frontline. You can absolutely _not_ tend to personal business right now. I will inform headquarters of what happened and have them send a search squad to look for your family."

"I've about had it with you," the Uchiha growled. If it weren't for the chakra seals, this man would be in unbearable agony right now. If he gave him any more reason to, then Sasuke would show him that he did not need his Sharingan to put him in so much pain that a single second would appear like 72 hours to him. "Mind you own business or-"

"-Sasuke!" Kakashi cautioned his student. "He is right. The commanders of each division are expected to meet today at seven o'clock. We'll have trouble to meet the schedule at any rate and you aren't even a tracker."

Not for one moment did Kakashi believe that his words would have any effect on Sasuke. Neither would he have wanted them to. But as one of the commanders and as Sasuke's supervisor he nevertheless felt like it was his duty to confront him with the official point of view.

"No, but you are," Sasuke said. "You are going to help me, Kakashi."

"I will-"

"-Impossible!" The receptionist cut in. His head was bright red by now. "Need I remind you again-"

"-Shut up," Sasuke silenced him with an icy glare and now the man only gnashed his teeth in frustration.

"I will help you," Kakashi repeated.

_Though maybe not the way you want me to_, he added in his mind and addressed the receptionist again.

"There is reason to believe that Uchiha Madara is behind the abduction. Please do inform headquarters about the incident," Kakashi said and was quick to turn to Sasuke, as to not give the man another chance to complain. "Let's go, Sasuke."

"Hn." Both men nodded at each other and turned towards the exit, when Ino held them back.

"Sasuke-kun?" she called out and lowered her head as Sasuke's gaze met hers. "You're gonna find them and bring them back, right?"

She didn't even want to fathom what a sick monster would kidnap a small, innocent baby. He had to get them as soon as possible.

"I will."

"That's a promise," Ino said, her voice filling with a little more life now, "Don't even think of breaking it."

Sasuke left it at nodding his head and then the two Konoha-nin departed the hall, accompanied by the constant bickering of the receptionist.

Once outdoors, Kakashi bit into his thumb, formed a quick sequence of seals and a moment later, a small brown dog, dressed in a blue vest, appeared before him.

"Yo," Pakkun saluted and looked from his master to the young Uchiha, "What is it this time, Kakashi?"

"Pakkun, I want you to help Sasuke find Sayuri and Mikan," Kakashi said and then looked at his student, trying to read in his face what he was thinking, but his expression was as guarded as usual. "Pakkun has the finest nose of all my ninken. If there is the slightest trace, he will find them."

"Hm," the small dog nodded in affirmation.

"Meanwhile I will move on to headquarters and explain the situation," Kakashi said and sighed, "With the role they assigned you to have and especially your background they won't be thrilled to learn of your disappearance. This'll be a pain…"

"Hmpf," Sasuke gave a snort. "Like I care about that."

"Just don't get yourself in trouble and make sure to report when you find them."

"Hn," the Uchiha nodded and though he didn't let it show, he was grateful that his sensei had used a '_when'_ instead of an '_if'_. He would find them. It was a promise.

"Do you have anything that smells like them?" Pakkun asked the Uchiha and watched him hesitate a moment, before he reached into his pocket. He stared at his clenched fist for a while, before he bowed down and held his open palm before Pakkun's nose.

"She wore it briefly," he remarked in a toneless voice and avoided looking at his sensei, who, upon first seeing the ring, couldn't help letting his jaw drop. However now that the initial surprise had faded, he watched his student with a commiserative expression. Apparently there really was a lot he had missed out on… He felt the need to say something, being his sensei and all, but the words wouldn't come to him. Then he didn't even get a chance to try, as a noisy rumbling from within the hideout caught their attention.

"Stop them!" They heard the receptionist shout, before he, accompanied by a group of five ninja, came running out of the underground tunnel. "You are one of the commanders! You can't possibly approve of this!" He yelled, directed at Kakashi, and now the Jounin finally knew what to say.

A smirk spread on his face. "Those who break the rules and codes of the ninja world are called trash, but those who don't take care of their comrades are lower than trash – go ahead, Sasuke. Get your family."

"Hn," Sasuke nodded, thankful. "Pakkun!" He shot a gaze at the small dog and then they both ran off. He heard a startled Sakura call out his name as he dashed past her, but he didn't look back. There was no time for that.

One day.

The war hadn't even begun and he had already lost them.

* * *

><p><em>The small girl walked down a road, aimlessly searching for nothing in particular, but she was searching and she had a notion that this was one of those quests, which only made you know what they had been about once you reached the end. <em>

_Once you found **it.**_

_It was the third day in solitude. The third day that she only walked for the sake of not being stagnant. She didn't spend the nights in hotel rooms any longer. She had no money and she hadn't crossed anyone she could steal from._

_No living human being in 71 hours._

_The 72nd hour seemed to bring a change though._

_Her trained ears could hear a group of people, quickly approaching and she wondered if she should hide, but she couldn't get herself to care enough to do something that might keep her from potential harm. She could hear the violence in their strides. Still she carried herself ahead, bluntly facing up to the crowd of people, uniformed people with weapons, ten of them._

_It took only a mere second for them to have surrounded her._

_Another second later the ground was splattered with blood. Her own blood this time._

…

…


	23. Old acquaintances

**23. Old acquaintances**

It was very cold and very dark. And so very, very quiet, it almost hurt. No, scratch the "almost" – it did hurt. Though not exactly where you would assume something as abstract as silence to hurt, which were the ears. It was rather that everything was hurting all at once, but in a weirdly subdued way, which made it easy to ignore that notion.

She slowly drifted into consciousness. Though it was no noise that had startled her awake, but the lack of it and the constant shivers that shook her body. And it was no sleep she awoke from, but rather some form of syncope. Never in her life had she lain on a mattress as hard and comfortless as this one. It absorbed her body heat and drained her of every bit of strength. It made her want to shut her eyes, if they weren't shut already, and escape this dreary, uninviting place again. She did have a dim feeling that she shouldn't be here. That she shouldn't be lying around. That she shouldn't be alone.

Hasn't she been on the way to some place safe? But then how come she wound up so helpless?

A soft moan tore through the silence. The sound was so pitiful, she hoped it didn't come out of her own mouth. Still she could not seem to care either which way, and so the brief disruption of the unnatural silence came and went by again. The sound that followed then, however, was not so easy to ignore. It was the crying of a baby.

Alarmed, Sayuri at once jerked into an upright position, gasping sharply and for a moment she thought she would throw up, but she didn't. Her eyes were open for sure now, but the darkness was as thick and deep as before. But she did manage to make out shapes in the overall blackness. At least she thought so, but what she was seeing seemed too surreal to be true. There were plain stone blocks of varying lengths and heights everywhere. She was sitting on one. They were hanging in the air beside, under and above her, but what mysterious force kept them in the air?

Not a second did she waste on pondering about the paradoxical physical laws of this dimension, as her eyes found the source of the noise.

"Mikan!"

In the wink of an eye she was on her feet, dimly registering that the stone blocks were surrounded by pitch black void. There was no ground, no nothing. Two blocks before her he stood then. The leading actor in her nightmares, fresh from the grave, Uchiha Madara. And if that wasn't bad enough, he was holding her son in the crook of his arm.

Upon hearing his cries, every fibre of her body had screamed alarm, but now a strange sense of calm, of numbness, settled around her. Because she knew this situation well enough. How many nights has she been shocked awake by the very picture she beheld right now? Surely this was just another nightmare. Surely she must have passed out during the journey and was dreaming now. Apparently she hasn't been strong enough to fend off the imminent attack of migraine and this is where she ended up; in the nether land of repressed fear.

It had to be a dream – a nightmare. But what if not?

"You finally woke up."

The sound of his voice sent cold shivers down her spine and filled her with ineffable horror. It was a nightmarish situation indeed, but what if not?

_What if not?_

"Take your hands off my son right now," Sayuri snarled and glared at the masked man.

He looked different. His mask was no longer orange, but grey and there were two holes in it now. Moreover, he was holding Mikan in the arm he had lost during their last battle and he did not wear his Akatsuki cloak, but a simple black one with a belt sash around his waist and there was a huge fan on his back.

Why should she imagine him in new clothes?

Her nightmare theory was suffering more and more cracks with every further second. Already it was so brittle that she didn't dare rely on it for fear of the consequences. All the terrible maybes.

"Angry, aren't we?" he snickered, but there was nothing humorous about his voice. The sound reminded her of grinding metal and it had the same effect on her as the sound of nails scraping across a board; she felt it right to her bones. "And here I only came to welcome my new relative into the family."

"How nice of you," she hissed through gritted teeth, when what she really wanted was to shout that he was no part of their family and should go to hell where he belonged. But instead she clenched her teeth hard and forced herself to take a deep, though shaky breath. She couldn't afford to lose her poise now, since she was sure that this was what he wanted. Why else would he have waited for her to wake up? Had he wanted to, he could have killed her a dozen times all over by now, but apparently he had something else in mind for her. She knew she had to play her cards right if she wanted to get her son out of this alive. She couldn't let his heart-wrenching cries get to her; couldn't let Madara's provoking words shake her façade. And she couldn't waste any more time on thinking about what to do. She had to act.

Déjà vu struck as she darted forward, leaped across the bottomless gaps between the stone blocks without ever casting a single glance at the ground, without ever taking her eyes off Madara. It were only few metres, and it likely didn't take more than two seconds, but to her it seemed like an eternity, in which her head was perfectly clear and time seemed to pass in slow motion. She had been in this situation so many times before; it made knowing what to do easy.

Even before her front foot touched the ground again, she let the kunai, she kept hidden in her sleeve, surface, gripping the handle so tightly that it was only a matter of time before either the metal or her bones would give way. But she only had to make it through another second. Then she would lash out at Madara. He would make himself intangible to avoid her attack and in that very moment he would let go of Mikan and she would have to catch him then and get away from here. She didn't know where to, yet, but as long as she had her son back it was okay. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving him in Madara's arms just one more second.

Finally the unnaturally long moment came to pass. She was so close now, she could hear his heart beat. Her kunai shot forth, an angry hornet, going right for his belly. Low enough so she wouldn't risk hurting Mikan and wouldn't have to move much to catch him. Her vision tunnelled in on her aim. She saw nothing but his belt. Now the gleaming tip of her dagger. She dug her heels hard into the ground, so she wouldn't pass through the Uchiha along with her kunai. Only that it didn't.

She had been prepared to lash out at thin air, so as she hit something so solid that it left her arm feel like it would fold up like an accordion, she was definitely caught off guard, to say the least. Unable to comprehend what was going on, she stared hard at her dagger, which had not hit his stomach, like she had planned, but his hand, he had raised to shield himself. Still it shouldn't have made a difference. This wasn't what he has been supposed to do. Without taking her kunai away from his hand, Sayuri raised her head to look into Madara's eyes.

She was used to the sight of the Sharingan, but the pattern of his left eye left her gaping.

_It couldn't be…?_

"You shouldn't have done that," he said, and it was the sound of his voice that solved Sayuri's paralysis and made her realise the immense danger she was in. Too late though.

She only barely saw his hand move and then she was already in the air, flying, falling, then plummeting none too gracefully right where she had come from. There was a sound reminiscent of breaking porcelain and then only one endless gasp, as she struggled to force air into her protesting lungs.

"I'm only here to talk to you," he continued without regard for her agony. "Hurting you is not in my interest, but I'm not averse to it either. It's up to you."

"Cut… that … out…" Sayuri panted and tried to sit up, but she still couldn't breathe and it felt like someone had tried to break her chest open with a battering ram. She couldn't remember ever having been in so much pain before. And if there was something she had experience with then it was pain. It was only a matter of time before she would pass out. Black dots already made her vision flicker. White noise threatened to burst her ear drums. Lack of oxygen dulled her senses. Caused her to panic. But the fear for her son's life managed to overshadow it all.

She had no plan and no strength left either, but still Sayuri pushed herself to her feet and charged at Madara again. Pure despair kept her going, but despair as such was no match for the strength of an immortal Uchiha. But all was better than to do nothing. While running, she reached for another kunai, a shuriken, and whatever else there was in her pocket, but her fingers wouldn't close around anything and then she was in the air again. Not flying this time, but hanging. Hanging in the air with Madara's hand grabbing her collar. Her chin collided with his knuckles. Her teeth clattered and her mouth filled with the taste of metal.

"This doesn't look comfortable," Madara said and though his voice was perfectly even, she clearly picked up the derisive tone in it. "But who am I to refuse the request of a lady?"

"Leave him… out of this…" she croaked between coughs and pants. Her fingers wound around Madara's wrist, trying to carry her weight to ease the pressure on her throat. Mikan was howling right into her ear. _Da-da_, he cried, calling for his daddy, like he already knew how insufferably weak his mother was. Like he knew that she wouldn't be able to save him. But how would Sasuke ever find them here? How would anyone ever find them at this place?

"He's just a baby… Let him go… I don't care what you do to me – if this is about punishing Sasuke th-then take me… just don't hurt him…" she pleaded and tried her damnest to keep her eyes open.

"Believe me, you'll get what you deserve for tricking me, but just now your time hasn't come yet," Madara said in a low voice and this time he no longer sounded teasing, but every bit as dangerous as you would assume the leader of the most feared criminal organisation of the world to sound, "I need you to pass Sasuke my greetings. Tell him he should make up his mind about what is important to him. Oh, and don't mind. He's safe with me… for now he is. So don't give me a reason to change that."

"N-no…" she whimpered, but her voice was too weak to compete with Mikan's howling. The Uchiha wouldn't have listened anyway. He didn't even give her the time to think of, much less propose a bargain.

"That's all for the time being," he said and tossed her away like a piece of trash.

"Mikaaannn!" she screamed and heard her voice fade out as she fell into the sheer endless depth.

She never hit the ground.

* * *

><p>"I've got their scent," Pakkun said and sniffed around the ground, until he ended up right before Sasuke's feet. He lifted his head, but had to squint his eyes against the glare of the low afternoon sun. It's been two hours since they set out together to search for Sayuri and Mikan and in that time the Uchiha kid once again proved to be a most silent companion. Even now that he finally found something, didn't he ask any questions, but left it at raising his eyebrow at him. You should think he'd be more eager to hear every bit of news concerning the whereabouts of his family, but maybe he was averse to talking to a dog. He wondered if he was a cat person. More like a snake person, probably… Oh well…<p>

"It's still fresh," Pakkun continued, before the silence could drag on any longer, "They came here this morning."

"Then where did they go?"

"That's the thing…" Pakkun sniffed the ground again and then sighed, "Nowhere."

"Nowhere…" Sasuke repeated, though not as a sign of lacking understanding, but rather to somehow comprehend that his greatest fear had come true. He had a sense that the ground was being pulled away from under his feet, as though everything was slipping away from him all at once. Maybe he was about to follow them into nowhere this very moment. It certainly felt that way.

"As though they just vanished into thin air," the ninken affirmed. "Here it's still there and over here it's already gone. And they didn't go back in their own tracks."

"They reported of snow," Sasuke said without much conviction, but he wasn't yet able to let go of that last thread of hope.

"The ground is perfectly dry. There has been no snow or rain whatsoever."

"So it was a Genjutsu."

From what he heard lately, samurai fought without utilising chakra, so they wouldn't notice and there have only been few ninja among the evacuees and there was a reason why they were being sent away and not going to the battlefield; they would not be able to see through an illusion crafted by Uchiha Madara no less. Still it made it no easier for him to comprehend how the two people who meant the world to him could vanish without anyone even noticing.

"Possibly…" Pakkun shrugged his tiny dog shoulders, "So how will we proceed?"

"We'll move towards the battlefields. He'll have to appear there, sooner or later."

Because Madara would want him to find him. Otherwise this whole kidnapping scenario wouldn't make any sense. He could just as well sit down right here and bide his time until Madara showed up, but he had a feeling he'd rather find Madara himself then be found by him.

* * *

><p>Slowly her eyes fluttered open. A pale grey sky swam above her. Trees framed her vision. They looked white and distant, like they were floating. Judging from the perspective she had to be lying on her back, but she could feel no solid ground beneath her. She couldn't feel anything at all. And despite her eyes being open, nothing she saw left any impression on her mind.<p>

There was the grey sky, the white trees and still that feeling of being disjointed from her body.

She tried to remember what happened. Tried to think of a pleasant explanation. Any words of comfort.

Her eyes fluttered close and something inside her shut down. Nothing would come to her.

* * *

><p>The sun was already setting, by the time Kakashi and Sakura reached their meeting point. Sand-coloured tents had sprouted out of the desert ground like mushrooms and uniformed people were striding between the perfectly regular aisles in a purposeful way. Many were carrying huge sacks or shoving wagons with well-packed boxes before them, perhaps filled with food, more likely weapons. There were so many people; Sakura couldn't remember ever having seen so many people at the same spot. Konoha's festivals were nothing compared to this. And although the sight was somewhat overwhelming, it also filled her with courage. There was a difference between simply hearing a number and actually seeing how many people would support them in the war.<p>

They really stood out, because they were the only ones who were not moving or doing anything other than watching the oh-so-busy people before and around them. Apparently they had missed the distribution of tasks. But having arrived two hours late, they could have expected as much.

"Sakura-chan, please go to the organisational staff and inform them about our arrival," Kakashi instructed his student and received a determined nod in response, "Meanwhile I'll go and give a report of the latest events to the Five Kage."

"You think he found them already?" Sakura asked, her emerald eyes focused on a point in the distance.

"Who knows…"

"You think… he _will_ find them?"

"Yes, Sakura, I'm sure he will."

But only finding them was still one step short of saving them, but Kakashi couldn't get himself to actually say that. Sakura understood to read between the lines and so she did not ask any further questions, but again nodded at the grey-haired Jounin, before she took off to carry out her task.

Kakashi did it like her. After asking a few people for directions, he was led to the building that served as a base for the administration of the Allied Nations. It was easy enough to identify, being the highest building and all and there was also something about how all the movement seemed to revolve around this place.

Walking into the building, he had to talk his way past a lot of ninja, who told him the Five Kage were currently too busy to receive him, but after hearing who he was and assuring them that the Kage would definitely want to hear what he had to say, he eventually made it to the room the heads of the Five Great Nations were residing in. He knocked at the door, but didn't wait for an invitation.

"Excuse me for interrupting," he said upon entering and raised his hand in an apologetic gesture. His gaze wandered across the people seated at the round table in the centre of the room, who were now all staring at him. The five most powerful people of the Great Nations assembled in the same room, and they didn't look like they were in good spirits.

"Hatake Kakashi – late as always," Tsunade said wryly and beckoned Kakashi into the room with a lazy flick of the hand, before she again used it to support her head.

"Ah… Apologies for the delay. I was held up-"

"-Oh, quit your lame excuses," Tsunade barked and slammed her flat hand on the table. "You missed the composition of the teams! In case you are interested, you are now officially the Commander of the Third Division, which is the Short and Mid-Range Battle Division. And Sasuke will act as your Proxy Commander. Where is he anyway?"

"About him…" Kakashi said and pondered about how to explain the situation without having Tsunade go berserk. She was edgy enough as it was. He heaved a sigh. "I believe you will want to hear my '_lame excuse'_ after all…"

"Then go ahead, kid. We don't have all day," Ônoki prompted him. Kakashi couldn't help but frown about his choice of words. The last time someone called him _kid_ was like…no one ever called him kid. "And be brief."

"Brief?" Oh well that meant no regard for Tsunade's testy temper. "It would seem as though Sasuke's family has been kidnapped and he is now searching them. Given the circumstances of their disappearance, we can assume that Uchiha Madara has his hands in it."

"What?" Tsunade gasped and now sat bolt upright in her chair. "Sayuri and Mikan are gone?"

"Yes, they disappeared somewhere in the south of the Land of Sound, right under the nose of the guards. No one even noticed their absence until we reached the safe hall."

"Impossible…" Mei murmured. She had made significant contributions to the organisation of the evacuations, so she didn't understand how something like this could happen and then go by unnoticed.

"Why would Madara kidnap two civilians?" the Raikage asked, his booming voice always conveying the impression that he was angry, when right now he was really only interested in the whys.

"It's a foolproof way of getting to Sasuke," Gaara explained in his usual monotone.

"That's what I think, too," Kakashi confirmed, "Once Sasuke heard of it, there was no holding back for him."

"And you let him go by himself?" Ônoki asked and rose up from his chair, though it didn't make him look any taller than before. "What if they really were kidnapped to blackmail Sasuke? Correct me if I'm wrong, but does the Uchiha not play a major role in just about every strategy we have to defeat his ancestor? How could you just allow our only Uchiha – our only Sharingan – to run off by himself and maybe right into the enemy's hands?"

"He's not our only Sharingan," Tsunade explained and nodded at Kakashi. "But Tsuchikage-sama is right. You can say what you want about Sasuke, but when it comes to his family, there is nothing he would not do to know them safe."

And admirable as that was, it also made him an easily controllable person and accordingly he was dangerous. His devotion to his family made him a perfect candidate to be turned into a double agent. That meant, regardless of what happened now, Uchiha Sasuke could no longer be trusted, nor could he be used for their purposes, which might explain the sombre expressions on the faces of the people around her. They had just lost one of their secret weapons, the only thing they could do now was make sure that _their weapon_ would not fall into the enemy's hands.

"Kakashi-san," Gaara addressed the Jounin, "Of us all you know Sasuke best. If he had to choose between his family and the common good, what would he do?"

"…"

"Just like I thought," Gaara nodded and folded his hands under his chin.

"We can't risk having to fight two Sharingan-users," Ônoki said. He faced Uchiha Madara before and back then, he learned to have a healthy respect for the abominable dôjutsu of the Uchiha. Just thinking about it made his skin crawl.

"Tsunade-hime, as a Konoha-shinobi, Uchiha Sasuke is your responsibility. What do you suggest we do about him?" A asked. He was not one to beat around the bush. There was no time for that.

This is what she hated the most about her position. The responsibility. She was responsible to decide about the fate of a person, who had done nothing wrong, other than caring about the people he loved and maybe more so than he cared about anything else. As a person that made Sasuke rise in her estimation – something she wouldn't have thought possible, since up until now he had only confronted her with his bad sides. But she couldn't think from that perspective now. She was one of the leaders of the army that would fight to save the world – she couldn't lose sight of the bigger picture because she harboured a soft spot for some individuals and here she was not only thinking about Sasuke…

_I'm sorry, Sasuke, Sayuri…_

"Send out a tracker unit to search for Uchiha Sasuke and bring him back alive," Tsunade said and narrowed her eyes as she heard a disdainful snort somewhere to her right, somewhere out of the direction of the Tsuchikage. "However, if he gives the slightest reason, Uchiha Sasuke will be executed on the spot."

* * *

><p>It was the beginning of autumn, but due to its geographical position, snow, even this early in the year, wasn't a rarity for the Land of Frost, which explained its name. The temperatures were still above the freezing point, but now with the sun having set, a faint layer of white coated the forest ground. By the morning it will surely have melted, but just now it facilitated their task greatly, because the light ground made seeing in the dark much easier. And since they had been assigned the nightshift for their patrol, the group of samurai clearly benefited from the weather conditions. Dressed in their heavy armour, they didn't notice the low temperatures anyhow.<p>

They had scattered and were patrolling in pairs of two along the northern borders of the Land of Frost. Most of the ninja have had to pass this country on their way to Lightning Country, but now with night having fallen, there wasn't much for them to do, which didn't mean they weren't taking their task seriously. In times of war, you could not lower your guard for but a single second, not even when flakes of snow whirled through the air like cherry blossom petals and created an aura of serenity. It were these times, in fact, that often turned out as the most perilous. Simply because you don't expect them to.

A high whistling cut through the silence and within seconds six more samurai gathered around the two who had given the signal.

"Found a body," one of them explained. His voice sounded weirdly distorted, not quite human. He nodded his head at his discovery. It was the body of a girl or maybe a young woman, with dark hair and pallid skin, blue or grey most likely, depending on how long she was lying here in the cold already. Her lips were devoid of colour, except for a black residue of dried blood, gluing her mouth shut. A thin layer of snow crusted her clothes, but not her skin. It can't have been long…

The samurai took a step forward and knelt down before the girl. They had been prepared to encounter corpses, but not at this early stage of the war. What a pitiful creature…

"Careful," one of the others cautioned him, but that was something he needn't be reminded of. That is why he did not respond and instead took off one of his gloves. He reached out for the girl's hand, putting his fingers on the inside of her wrist to feel for a pulse, before officially declaring her dead and taking care of the disposal of the corpse.

"She's alive," he said with a startled frown, which was obscured by his helmet though. He let go of her wrist again and held his hand under her nose to see if she was breathing. It was hard to tell with the cold and the wind, but he was still sure he could feel a faint breath fan against the skin on the back of his hand. And if he hasn't been convinced at that point, there was no more doubt about her status, as her eyes squinted open. "And conscious."

He moved closer to peer into her eyes and check the reaction of her pupils, when he perceived a metallic click behind him and froze in his movement.

"Don't let your guard down. This might be a ruse."

He glanced back over his shoulder, only to see what he had expected already; the other members of his team stood with their swords drawn, pointed at the unknown girl, who really could be nothing but a decoy, for all they knew. Standing up, he followed their example and drew his katana out of its sheath.

"Identify yourself," his team-mate said, but she did nothing but stare at some point in the distance.

They all nodded at each other.

"No sudden movements," the samurai who had found her said and the others moved closer now, bringing the tips of their katanas so close that it would take less than the beat of a hummingbird's wings to pierce all her vital points at the same time. That seemed like enough of a precaution in order to search the girl for any means of identification. All the civilians should have already left this area two days ago, so she was most likely one of the shinobi, who have been travelling to Kumo Gakure, in which case she should be in possession of the headband of the Allied Nations, which served as an identification device for them. However, he could not find any such thing – neither a headband, nor the scroll, the evacuees have been given. She wasn't wearing the flak jacket of her village either. She was a nobody and that is what made it difficult to decide on how to deal with her.

"Nothing," he said, as he gave up once and for all and looked at the leader of their squad, who wore a helmet with two horns on it. "What do we do with her?"

"At first get her out of the snow," he said and at once two of his men reached for her arms and lifted her up. "For now take her into custody," he ordered and then the two samurai walked off with the unknown girl hanging in their midst like a broken doll, a third one followed them and kept the tip of his sword at her back.

They would not take any risks.

* * *

><p>"Wait!" Pakkun shouted suddenly.<p>

Sasuke at once stopped in his tracks, his shoes leaving marks on the soft soil ground.

"What is it?" he asked, but Pakkun only raised his paw in a very human way.

"Wait…" the small dog repeated and put his nose in the air, sniffing… sniffing… sniffing, while Sasuke could barely hide his impatience. His dark eyes wandered across the terrain. Just mountains on every side and a few shrubs here and there, looking more dead than alive though. At least there wasn't much that obstructed your view – except for the mountains that is – but even so they hadn't found anything yet and it was already dark outside. And along with the sun, the temperatures had dropped. It's not like he cared about any of these things, though.

"Did you pick up their scent?" Sasuke asked and stared into the direction Pakkun had his nose directed into for the last two minutes now, still sniffing and sniffing. He should have long turned blue and toppled over…

"I'm not sure…" Pakkun murmured. Finally he took a deep breath and turned his head to Sasuke, "It's very faint and very faraway." And it was likely nothing at all, but since they had nothing to begin with…

"It's a start," Sasuke voiced what Pakkun had been thinking and looked at the silver crescent in the middle of the sky. Currently the moon cast enough light on their path, but there were massive black clouds, coming from the west. They would most definitely have to pursue their search in darkness, in which case he would have to fully rely on Pakkun's nose, when relying on anybody else wasn't what you could call his strong point. "Which way?"

"Up ahead, but it's really-" Pakkun broke off as Sasuke just rushed off. Sighing, he still completed his sentence, even if there was no one left to listen, "-just a whiff."

Young people and their impatience…

Before being left behind, he rushed after the Uchiha, but that one barely noticed. All he focused on was the road before him and the people that hopefully waited at its end. Hopefully safe and sound. However it was the premonition that such was not the case that made him increase his pace. Made him run so hard and fast that the ground looked like a muddy river under his feet, but what he left behind was nothing but a cloud of dust.

* * *

><p>The heavy metal door creaked open with a ghastly groan. The sound cut like lightning through her dazed mind and left her in a weird place. Neither awake nor sleeping, more like dreaming beyond the confines of her own body. That could only mean two things: she must have either lost her body somewhere or had unlearned how to use it. It wouldn't be the first time her brain had ridded itself of quite essential things.<p>

There was a voice, sounding like static speaking and she had a notion that she was moving or rather being moved. There was something like a touch, somewhat below and on both sides of that elusive sphere where her thoughts were forming. Her arms? It was hard to tell, because there seemed to be nothing in between. Nothing that connected them to each other or anything… Was it possible to have your arms chopped off without losing feeling in them? Some kind of phantom sensation? Separation anxiety?

Curiosity stirred her now after all. She tried to open her eyes and lift her head, but it was so heavy… Too heavy. Ere long she gave up again and instead allowed gravity to take over and let it roll her head to the side. Her eyes squinted open to some hazy forms and colours, which slowly blurred into focus, assuming the shape of a strange figure, dressed in heavy armour. Like a knight, almost, but none of the handsome, damsel-saving kind.

They took a turn and her chin fell against her chest. At once a jolting pain fired through her every synapse and forced a sharp hiss out of her mouth.

They stopped, spoke to her, but her eyes were shut again and she did not listen. She willed it all away. The knights, the pain, the numbness, everything. She willed time to move backwards and take her back to a point when everything had been okay still.

Before Madara…

Before her son…

Her eyes flew open at the remembrance of her son and for a moment she wanted to break away from these people and run to his rescue. Her sudden vigour ebbed away real quick though, as she remembered that there was nothing she could do. She really was no use to anyone at all.

He was gone.

And she was here, being carried through what seemed to be a prison. Were they prison guards or police men? Did they belong to the good people? People who might be able to help Mikan when she couldn't?

She wondered if she should tell them what happened. Tell them about Madara… Did he forbid her to? Would he do something to her son if she did? It was good that she felt incapable of speaking anyhow – that at least relieved her of having to make a choice. It postponed it at least…

They came to a halt and she heard the metallic sound of a key being turned in a lock.

"Get her another blanket and something to warm up," someone said and finally Sayuri managed to heave her head off her chest, when she heard an all too familiar voice.

"So you made it, huh?"

"_You!_"

* * *

><p><em>She could have fought back. She was young maybe, but a skilled ninja nevertheless. It might have made no difference, but it's a thing about dignity and honour.<em>

_Not that she had any of it left._

_A dagger cut into her cheek, another grazed her knee and forced her to the ground. Then her left arm was covered with senbon, piercing deep into her skin, taking away her last bit of support and so her head crashed heavy onto the dry earth. The sound of it was awful, reminding of shattered porcelain._

_The attacks ceased then. And though her eyes might have been closed, her ear on the ground made it easy for her to tell that they were approaching her. The vibration of the earth hurt in her open wounds._

_Then something changed. _

_Someone leaped down right in front of her and the others came to a stop. Words were exchanged, but the blood thrashing in her ears, kept her from discerning them._

_She opened her eyes just a crack then. Opened them to see the backs of two boys or maybe men, one having blonde, the other dark hair. She couldn't tell who they were or what they were doing, but from their stance it looked as though they were defending her._

_They fought for her, when she hasn't even bothered to fight for herself._

…

…


	24. Meeting

**24. Meeting**

Shock – there was no more fitting term to describe what Sayuri was feeling right now. And it was that sensation, precisely, which made her forget about everything around her for a moment. All she saw was red, though not in a metaphorical sense. Red hair, red lips, red eyes that were intently focused on her now, twinkling with curiosity.

"K-k-k-" she stammered, but her teeth were chattering too much to form any words, but then it didn't matter, since she should know her own name… Nevertheless she felt dumbstruck by this discovery.

Karin. The whole last year they've been searching her just about everywhere, but she's been gone without a trace and now here she was, sitting in a prison cell, only about two metres away from her. Practically within reach. This couldn't be real, could it?

"My… what might you be doing here?" Karin drawled in an annoyed tone of voice. She was sitting on a simple bunk bed, her back leaning against the rough stone wall. She folded her arms behind her head. "Did you stomp on a bug, or what?"

"…" All Sayuri did was stop and stare with her mouth wide open, mute like a fish out of water. How could she say anything when she didn't even seem capable of crafting concrete thoughts?

_Bug…?_

She didn't get it…

"You two know each other?" the samurai, who had his hand under her left armpit, asked.

Karin gave her a long look, while Sayuri said nothing and the samurai was getting impatient.

"Well…?"

"Nope, never seen her," Karin smacked her lips and lay down on her bed.

"Hm," the samurai shrugged and then Sayuri was pushed into her cell and the support under her arms was gone. It was only now that she realised how weak she was. It seemed like a sheer insurmountable task to put one foot in front of the other and for a moment she doubted she would manage the two or three steps to her own bed without her legs giving way. Somehow she made it and then all but collapsed onto the hard mattress, lying halfway on and halfway beside it. That would have been okay if she weren't freezing so much. It demanded her remaining bit of strength to pull her legs up onto the mattress and wrap her arms as tightly around them as she could manage. If her arms really were as frozen as they appeared, then she ought to be careful as to not have them snap like matchsticks…

Dimly, she realised how another blanket was draped around her and some kind of warm liquid burned down her throat, igniting her chest cavity. It smelled of autumn, but that was all. Her eyes drifted shut. Behind her closed lids faces swirled, fading in and out of focus.

Mikan…

Madara…

_So cold…_

Sasuke…

Karin…

Swirling and swirling and she knew that there should be a metaphorical light bulb above her head. Knew that there was something she had to do.

It didn't matter.

* * *

><p>When Sayuri woke up the next time, she was still at that cold place. Only that it didn't seem to be the place but her who gave off cold air in waves. She pulled the blanket tighter around her body and moved over to the left, seeking for the familiar warmth of Sasuke's body. All she found was a cold wall. Not a proper wall even, there were too many gaps in it… at regular intervals… and perfectly square…<p>

Bars!

The mist clouding her mind dissipated, as she shot up from the bed, only to very nearly cave in on herself again as a sharp pain shot through her chest like an electric current. Gritting her teeth, she moved a hand to the aching spot, but flinched from her own touch. As long as she didn't do anything the pain was bearable, so she decided (to try) to ignore it and instead let her eyes wander through the room she had been brought to, before having been overwhelmed by exhaustion.

This room, however, wasn't as much of a room as it was a cell. A prison cell. The thick grid-like bars that replaced the walls on three sides, were only the most obvious indication. The fact that she could spot chakra-seals just about everywhere, were another. And then of course the desk in the corridor before her cell, at which two shinobi were sitting, keeping watch, suggested that she was currently residing in a prison cell.

The big question, though, was why?

What did she do to end up in prison? Something crucial must have happened but escaped her notice, which seemed likely enough, bearing in mind how much time she had spent drifting in and out of consciousness like a piece of driftwood in the vast ocean. It's not like the why's mattered anyhow; what did matter was how she would get out of here, so she could-

-Mikan!

The thought of her son caused another rapid movement and the consequence was again pain. She drew a sharp breath through clenched teeth, trying to calm herself, so she could make sense of the whole situation. The memories of what happened only came in fragments, so she definitely should take the time to try and get some order into the few snippets she had and piece them together into a bigger picture and a congruent one at that.

Okay… first, they set out to be evacuated. Then something happened. Then there was Madara and now Mikan is gone. She was in prison. And she had seen Karin. _Karin_!

With a jerk, Sayuri swung her head around, staring through the grit of bars into the adjacent cell. It has not been a dream; she really had seen Karin and she was seeing her now, too, lying on her bed, her hair as red as ever, which was the only thing that assured Sayuri that she was not mistaken.

They've been searching her for ages and now that they stopped searching her, she just popped up right under her nose. Too late though…

Without a word, Sayuri rose up from her bed and stared through the gaps in the thick wooden bars at the speck of crimson hair. A sudden burst of anger swept through her veins like a tornado and there was nothing she could do about it.

Had Karin not been busy hiding or being imprisoned or whatever else she had done the last year, then it might have never come to this war. Then they could have long found Madara and taken care of him. Before he had a chance to prepare himself. Before he had a chance to take her son.

It was with slow steps, that Sayuri approached the bars that separated her cell from Karin's and wrapped her hands around them. Her face was on a level with one of the rectangular gaps and so she could perfectly see Sasuke's old team-mate now, whereas she was still lying with her eyes closed, seemingly oblivious to everything going on around her. A girl without a trouble in the world.

"Hey," is what Sayuri meant to call out actually, but her voice came out as a weak rasp, a creaking hinge, still shaken by tremors that would not cease. The cold must have made her age rapidly over night. Her joints were stiff and hurt however little she moved. She felt at least a thousand years old.

"Hey," she repeated, her face and also her tone harsher now, frustration conquering decrepitude, "What are you doing here?"

_Why aren't you out there, helping, like I wish** I** could…_

It did not occur to her that she might not be in prison of her own free will, same as she was not here because she wanted to. She wasn't ready yet to quit being angry at her – or herself? She didn't want to think about it, but refusing to do so did nothing to assuage her anger.

As Karin didn't respond, it was easy to discern the cause of it. "I'm talking to you!"

"And I'm trying to sleep," she groaned eventually and rolled around, giving Sayuri the cold shoulder, but she didn't care.

"We've been searching you."

"I know."

"And didn't it occur to you that we had a good reason to do so?"

"Oh, I bet you've had a good reason…" Karin snarled and sat up, "What did you need me for this time, huh?"

There was real contempt in her voice and Sayuri could feel her anger, which had felt hollow to begin with, deflate immediately. Karin was right. All they wanted was to use her. They had not searched her to make sure she was okay, after she had vanished without a word or maybe to repay her for what she did for them. They needed her skills. Just that simple. And now here she was, being angry at Karin and indirectly blaming her for this situation. Blaming her that her son was gone and forgetting in the meantime that, had it not been for Karin, he would not have been born in the first place. Forgetting that she couldn't be angry at anyone or anything, if it hadn't been for Karin, because she would be dead then. She never did get a chance to thank her for saving her life…

"Nevermind," Sayuri murmured and leaned her forehead against the cold wooden bars. Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes. Karin had been in love with Sasuke for a long time, maybe she still was and despite that she saved her life, although they never even had a friendly word for each other. Of course she knew that Karin had not done it for her sake but for Sasuke's, but her motivation didn't change anything about the fact that Mikan's and her life were saved that day. She really was in no position to demand anything of her. "It's too late now anyway…"

"Oh…?" Karin raised an eyebrow. "Is that your new strategy now? Acting all disinterested and world-weary?"

"If you say so…" Sayuri shrugged and went back to her bed, cocooning herself in her blanket. She wondered if she'd ever stop feeling cold again.

"Fine… just don't expect me to fix you up again."

"…"

"Not like I care, but what happened to you anyway? You look about as vital as a drowning victim…"

"It's cold outside…"

"Tze… sure is…" Karin snickered. She didn't know exactly what struck her as comical about the situation, but that's how it was. Maybe she was just glad that, despite everything that happened, she didn't act all nice and friendly now. She hated fakes. Or maybe it was that she was glad to have someone to talk to – someone to quarrel with… These guards weren't exactly talkative companions and this cell didn't provide many free time activities either. Or even more simple, maybe even more likely, she took delight in seeing her suffer.

Sayuri, on her part, did not waste any more thoughts on this surprising reunion. As she already pointed out it was too late; there were more pressing matters to attend to. She had to get out of here, but as for the hows, she didn't know how to do that. Did anyone even notice they were gone? Did Ino? In normal circumstances she would, but as it was now, she wasn't so sure… And if Ino hadn't noticed and no one else noticed that they never reached the evacuation hall, then that meant that she was the only one who currently knew about her son's disappearance. She was the only one who could help him. The thing was only that she didn't know how.

Madara is unpredictable; there is no knowing what he would do, should she take any actions that opposed his plans.

'_I need you to pass Sasuke my greetings_,' is what he said. He explicitly wanted her to tell Sasuke, but what would he do if she told anyone else?

'_Tell him to make up his mind about what is important to him_.'

That piece in particular is what made her head ache with indecision. He obviously wanted Sasuke to make a choice and it wasn't hard to guess what kind of a choice it would be. Save your son or abandon him.

(Let him die?)

It was almost a certainty that Madara wanted Sasuke back on his side and he would use Mikan to make sure Sasuke would not betray him. Again. And as repulsive as the thought of joining Madara's cadre appeared – it was about their son! Their own flesh and blood! How could they possibly refuse? They were his parents – how could they abandon him?

And that was the thing. As Mikan's parents it was clear that they would give all they had to save him and accordingly they were easily led. If anyone knew about that, they would be locked away or maybe even eliminated as a precaution… Better be rid of them than giving them a chance to side with the enemy…

Maybe they already knew after all… She was in prison already, wasn't she? Maybe this was the reason…

-Highly unlikely. If so, then they would have interrogated her, the moment she had only opened her eyes. As it was, however, no one paid any attention to her. The guards before her cell were napping and she had a direct neighbour she could talk to, scheme with-whatever- would they suspect her, they would treat her way differently.

But if they didn't know anything about her that meant she had a chance… A slim one, though…

With a sigh, Sayuri rose to her feet. Albeit reluctantly, she unwrapped the warm blanket from around her shoulders, folded it and placed it in a neat heap at the foot of the bed. Her clothes were caked with dried mud, but she tried to pat it off as best as she could and smoothed her hair back with shaky hands. This was about as good as it got, now she only had to put on a friendly and composed act.

"Uhm… excuse me?" she called out to the napping guards. At once one of them woke up with a cough.

"Huh?" he shook his head in confusion and there was a look of guilt on his face. Sleeping at his working place probably did not belong to his duties, or maybe it was being caught at it that caused his discomfort.

"I'm sorry…" she tried again and watched how the now awake man nudged his partner in the ribs, nearly knocking him off his chair.

"Hey!" the bald man protested and glared at the other man, but that one only nodded his head towards Sayuri, who now approached the bars and wrapped her fingers around them.

"Can you let me out, please? I'm supposed to meet with the other teams in Kumo Gakure," she asked them politely, ignoring the amused snort in the other cell.

"So you're a part of the Army of the Allied Nations?"

"I am."

Not quite, but she couldn't risk having them send her back into the evacuation hall – she had to see Sasuke and tell him what happened and that quick.

"Where are you from?"

"Konoha Gakure."

"Which Division?"

"Err… the Medical Division."

"Can you prove that?"

"Prove?" she frowned, "How so?"

"Do you have a headband or anything else that confirms your affiliation?"

Upon hearing about her headband, Sayuri reflexively brought her hand to her neck, where she usually wore said item, but it wasn't there.

"I—I must have lost it…"

"Uh-huh…" They both exchanged meaningful looks and leant back in their chairs without another word.

"I'm a student of the Fifth Hokage, she'll be worried if I won't show up," she tried tossing around some big names, but the two men didn't seem too impressed.

"Can you prove that?" the bald one repeated again.

"Well, go ask Tsunade-sama. It's not like she has anything better to do right now," Sayuri snapped, abandoning her strategy of playing nice and friendly. They would not underestimate her or deem her too unimportant to bother keeping her here.

And now they didn't say anything and Sayuri could feel their stubborn silence chip away at her patience.

"So will you let me out now or not?"

"We have our orders," the left one said, while his partner nodded with his eyes closed and his arms folded before his chest. Maybe he was nodding off again.

"And exactly what are your orders?"

"We're supposed to keep every suspicious person under arrest."

"_Suspicious_?" Sayuri repeated incredulously, "What do you mean suspicious? I didn't do anything! Let me out right now!" she yelled and yanked at the bars, but they would not budge.

"Look, it's nothing personal, but a long as you don't have anything to prove your identity we can't let you out."

"But I have to-!"

"And if you won't stop yelling, I'll make you, okay?" the bald one groaned and settled deeper into his chair, "It's three in the morning, for crying out loud."

"Tze," Sayuri bit on her bottom lip, trying to bite back her anger, but it only seemed to grow and grow until she was afraid she could no longer contain it. With a disgusted look and a scornful sound, Sayuri turned her back on the two guards, who, to her dismay, had their eyes closed again and accordingly didn't see her little demonstration of what she thought of them. She was tired and sore, but her poor physical condition was nothing compared to the rage and frustration she felt, and so she did not lie back down to recharge her batteries, but paced through her cell like a trapped lioness. How fitting.

"Were you really serious about that?" Karin asked and approached the bars that separated their cells. Sayuri only caught a side-glance of her gleeful face and immediately turned away again. She was no longer cold – in fact her insides felt a thousand degree hot and she was already puffing like a steam-engine, what Karin did was drop water on a hot stone and the result was sure to be nasty and she had absolutely no time for that.

"You were, weren't you?" she sneered, "Pfft, just how stupid are you? This is a prison. If you think they'll let you out just because you ask, then think again."

"Oh, shut up," she pressed out through gritted teeth and carried on trying to stomp away her anger.

"So what is a poor lamb like you doing in prison, huh?" Karin asked, always with that disparaging air about her, "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

"Ah, c'mon. There's no fooling me. I can tell when someone is lying, especially when someone is as bad about it as you are."

"Shut up," Sayuri repeated and glared at the redhead, before directing her eyes at the guards again, hoping they missed that.

"Nevermind them," Karin gave a dismissive wave of the hand, "All they do is sleep or play cards. There is a reason why they are biding their time down here in a deep cave, instead of being on the front line… Ah! So that's why you're here, too, huh?" She knocked her fists together as she drew that conclusion. "So you won't get in anyone's way…"

"My son is gone," the admission came out as a helpless whisper, before she even had a chance to hold it back. It was as though the words had some secret power that made it right through the defence mechanisms of her psyche. While she had let the thought of Mikan's absence graze her mind, she had pointedly refused to think about what it meant so far, but now the images were there.

He was alone with Madara. _Uchiha Madara!_ Just what would he do with him? And what wouldn't he do? Did he carry him around like he did when she came to or had he tossed him into a dark cell, where he was all alone, crying his eyes out, while she was locked away, miles away from him and ultimately incapable of helping him or letting the right people know he needed help.

She tried to reach out to him with her thoughts, utilise that mental connection that was said to exist between mother and child, the invisible bond linking them together, no matter the distance. She wanted to send nice thoughts to him to take away his fear, let him know he was not alone and that she would come to save him. But it didn't work because he _was_ alone and she couldn't save him. She couldn't do a thing.

At length she broke down. Every bit of strength leaked out of her body and she crumbled to the floor in a graceless heap. And here she was now, doing what she did best: crying, sobbing, falling apart. When it came down to it, all she was ever good for was crying. And she thought she had changed. She thought she had become strong enough to join the others on the battlefield.

There's just been this one thing she had been supposed to do. One thing Sasuke asked of her and that was to look after her son and herself and she couldn't even do that. What in the world had made her think she could ever be of use to anyone else? What made her think Sasuke was patronising her, when he asked her to go into hiding and stay as far away from everything as she could? Why didn't she realise that, above all else, he wanted to save her from herself and all her deficiencies – the plenitude of deficiencies, all of which she hasn't even been aware of up until this very moment.

He was gone!

Her baby was _**gone**_!

The words kept spiralling through her head in an endless cycle, thrusting her into a maelstrom of despondency. Sayuri buried her face in her arms and, to stifle her sobs, she pressed her fist against her mouth, biting down hard on the weather-beaten skin. Trying to distract from the pain that seemed to taint the essence of her very being, coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time, by means of this very easily locatable pain. But she felt nothing. It escaped her understanding how she could feel so numb and hurt so much at the same time. How everything could go down the drain so fast…

It hasn't been supposed to be this way…

"What do you mean gone?" Karin asked, but Sayuri was too caught up in her own misery to notice anything of what was going on around her.

"Hellooo…?" Karin chanted and approached the bars separating them, her arms folded before her chest and annoyed expression in place. "I'm talking to you!"

Not a patient person by nature, the redhead began clicking her forefinger against her arm, as she waited for a response and a proper one at that, which didn't include the fragmentised whimpers of '_he's gone… he took him…_'

"And who took him…?" she asked, her eyes closed, because were they open, all she'd see would be red, that she was sure of. Already a vein was throbbing on her forehead and it was trying to stay calm which sent her blood pressure soaring. She always has had a quick temper and that was no secret, so she wondered why she even bothered to fight her nature… Why indeed?

"Damn it girl, get a grip on yourself," Karin snarled and glared at the Konoha-nin with real disgust in her eyes. If there was one thing she hated, then it was watching people feel oh-so-sorry for themselves and wallow in self-pity like a pig in mud. In her opinion women in particular ought to be stronger than that. This really was a pain to watch…

"I told you to get a grip on yourself!" The redhead reached through the bars and closed her fingers around a tuft of violet hair. It was with apparent delight that she yanked at it. What delighted her even more, however, was watching Sayuri's expression as her face collided with the hard bars. She definitely did have her attention now.

"What do you think you can achieve by crying right now?" Karin lectured her, having a hard time keeping the corners of her mouth straight as she looked into Sayuri's scandalised and now red-streaked face. It was a way too comical sight to behold. "Do you think it will help your son? Do you think you'll get him back if you just cry loud enough?"

"N-no…" Sayuri stammered, still wide-eyed and brought her hands to her face, feeling for any bumps or swellings, maybe splinters. "But there isn't anything else I can do, either…"

"I don't care what you do or what happened. Just keep in mind that you're not alone here, so have the good grace to shut the hell up!"

"I need to get out of here," Sayuri said. She paid no heed to Karin's last remark, knowing that it was just the way she was, but she did take to heart what she said before. It would help no one if she kept on crying and feeling bad for herself, when she should rather use her time to try and think of a way to get herself out of her piteous situation. But that was the problem. As it was there was nothing she could do. Not as long as she was still locked away down here. That was some kind of starting point, wasn't it? She would have to get out of here first and then she could worry about the rest.

"There has to be a way out!" she said and felt a rush of adrenaline, of fervour, shoot through her at the prospect of having a plan. She rose to her feet and looked around her cell, looked at the bars, the windowless and all too solid wall, the seals, the sleeping guards, still all motivation, but that changed as her eyes again encountered Sasuke's former team-mate.

"What?" Karin asked with an irritated frown, as Sayuri did nothing but stare at her. "You want a picture?"

"Huh?" Sayuri shook her head, shaking off her confusion. "No… it's nothing," she said and felt her face drain off its colour as all her hope drained away as well. She turned her back on the other woman and walked to her bed, taking a seat.

Not even Karin – the cunning, intelligent Karin, whom Sasuke admired for her wits – not even _she_ had managed to get out of here, so how in the world should she? Trying to convince the guards hadn't worked and that was about all she could do in her current situation. Of course she could tell them about Madara. Maybe that would make them listen to her and take her serious, but she was too afraid of the possible implications. She was far too afraid of Madara to chance upsetting him.

Crying didn't help, but as she already noticed, there wasn't anything else to do either. Not a thing other than biding her time, waiting and hoping for some twist of fate to shove some luck their way. It can't always rain, right?

"So how come you're here?" Sayuri broke the silence after a while. "With your abilities, I thought it would be impossible for anyone to catch you and yet here you are… just like me…"

"Tze, I'm nothing like you," Karin snorted, "I wasn't caught – I let them catch me. You can't find a safer place than a prison these days," she explained, then added under her breath, "Though I didn't think it would be so boring…"

"Hold on a second…" Sayuri raised a hand as she mentally processed the information she had just been given, "You mean you're here voluntarily…?"

"Duh… Of course I am… Geeze…"

"So you didn't try to get out of here yet?"

"Why would I?" Karin asked and saw Sayuri's face light up with hope, so she wasted no time to crush it again, "It would be a waste of time, anyway. This prison is meant to keep the most dangerous criminals there are in custody. There is no way out of here."

"B-but… there has to!" Sayuri said, not yet ready to let go of that tiny glimmer of hope. "You wouldn't have come here if you didn't know how to get out."

She couldn't possibly want to waste the rest of her life sitting in this dark cave. Karin had to have a Plan B, she wouldn't be herself if she didn't.

"Once this war is over we are either doomed and then it doesn't matter where we are, or they'll have too much to do with real criminals to bother keeping small fry like us here and then we're free to go. That's all," Karin shrugged, while Sayuri felt like the ground had just been ripped out from under her. "So if you excuse me now, I'd like to sleep and I'd advise you to do the same. You look like crap. Night."

And with that she retired to her bed and pulled the blanket over her head, making clear that she was in no mood to pursue this conversation any longer. Not that she had ever taken a fancy in talking to her. Karin never liked her and yet she saved her life. She was still deep in debt to Karin, so how could she presume to ask for her help again?

There was no use bothering her anymore, so Sayuri decided to do it like her and go to sleep. It took her less than ten seconds to realise she would never fall asleep. Trust Karin to find the right words to crush every last ray of hope and rip even the frailest straw you've been clutching at out of your hands. She badly wanted to shut off her head and escape the undeniable truth of Karin's words, but the more anxious she was to find sleep the more it evaded her.

There had to be a way out of here…

Sayuri sat up in bed and squeezed herself into the corner between the wall and the bars, as if they could somehow keep her safe. She didn't know what she could do or what she would have to do, but it had to end with her somewhere out there in freedom again. She had to escape this place and find Mikan or Sasuke. Sasuke was searching for Madara, who had Mikan, so Sasuke would find him sooner or later. Unprepared. Which meant she had to find him first so she could warn him and diminish Madara's power over them at least by a tiny percent. Everything was better than nothing.

But nothing was about all she could do.

* * *

><p>Even among his clan, Hyûga Tokuma was renowned for the keenness of his eyes, only finding a match in his fellow branch house member Hyûga Neji. His eyes enabled him to see the world in a way other people didn't. It was the bloodline limit of the Hyûga, the Byakugan, which allowed him to see things other people couldn't even dream of.<p>

What his eyes made him see now was something he could never have dreamed of either.

"Oh God! There's so many of them!"

"What do you mean _many_?" Muta of the Aburame clan asked.

"There have to be at least a hundred thousand of them! And they are moving underground!"

"Inform Headquarters immediately. They need to know this!"

* * *

><p><em>Never<em> was much shorter a time than one imagined. Because in the end never falling asleep took no more than half an hour or so. It was a deep, dreamless sleep Sayuri had plummeted into. A pitch black pit devoid of images or conscious thought… Perfect in its void. There was mercy in the lack of anything, the absence of judgement, of guilt…

All the more surprising was it for her to be kicked out of this no man's land so abruptly, so entirely without any prior warning, when she felt nowhere close to rested yet, which might explain her wonderment. For a moment she didn't know where she was and what she was doing here. It was a narrow space. The walls were pushing in on her from both sides, pressing against her shoulders. It was neither light nor dark, but some other lurid interval in between the two. She could see all the details about this room, this cell, and yet couldn't see anything at all. The air in the room was stale, heavy and it bore down upon her like a tidal wave, floating her back to that dark place.

She started to drown…

Then there were steps and voices. Growing louder. Coming closer. And it were these sounds that made her curious enough to dwell some more time in what she now recalled to be a prison.

The voices became louder still. At least one of them sounded agitated. In fact there was only this one voice, but at least two more pairs of feet, still out of sight. Sayuri did not move, but guided her eyes to the adjacent cell. Karin was also awake, also listening to the noise, staring hard into the direction of its source. She did not know what was going on, either.

"You can't just walk about as you please!"

"Behind that door."

That last voice was very deep and something about it vaguely scratched at the edge of memory. Then followed the metallic screeching of rusted hinges as the door at the end of the hall was pushed open.

"Oh, c'mon," Karin rolled her eyes, her mouth pulled into a taut line, "You've got to be kidding me." She shook her head and withdrew into the back of her cell. Having her arms folded before her chest, she gave off the impression of a stubborn child. It did make Sayuri wonder what was going on, but not enough to actually retire her corner and have a look herself. Especially since whatever it was, was without a doubt coming their way.

She kept sitting in the corner of her cell, as though trying to become one with the wall, when a small brown dog appeared before her cell in a run. Pakkun. He looked at her, then looked back.

"Right here!"

She didn't need to see him to know it was Sasuke he was talking to. Her Sasuke who had come to find her, even before she has had a chance to go and search him. She was such a loser. That more or less solved her problems and she knew she should feel glad and relieved, but somehow these feelings wouldn't come to her. She wanted to get up and rush into his arms, but couldn't find the motivation to do so because she knew what was bound to come next. Knew that she would have to tell him what happened. Would have to tell him that his son was gone. Because of him. Because of her. Because they failed both as parents same as shinobi. It was more her fault than his though. Sasuke might be the reason, but he hasn't been there; he couldn't have done anything but she could. She _should_. Instead she was here.

Finally Sasuke reached her cell. He stood there before the bars, peering in, his face ever so devoid of any expression. At least one thing that hadn't changed. His black eyes found hers in the semi-darkness. She felt compelled to say something. Her lips opened and they closed again. There was nothing she could think of that would do justice to the current situation.

"All in one piece," Pakkun said from down there at Sasuke's leg, maybe waiting for praise, but Sasuke remained as mute as stone. Motionless. Finally, Sayuri had the good grace to get up from her bed, but kept the blanket tightly wrapped around her shoulders and did not approach him otherwise.

"Open the door," Sasuke hissed and glanced over his shoulder at the two guards behind him.

"We can't just do that," the bald one said and felt decidedly uncomfortable as the Uchiha narrowed his eyes into dangerous slits.

"We have our orders," his partner jumped in to his aid, "As long as we can't confirm her identity she is to be treated as a-"

Sasuke put a stop to his speech by gripping his collar and lifting him out of his chair. He definitely was pissed now.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke from Konoha Gakure, Proxy Commander of the Third Division and this is my wife. Now let her out."

He released his grip on the man and wide-eyed he fell back into his seat, for a moment too stunned to move. Then his fingers slithered across his desk like spiders slithering on ice. Right after he found the keys, he already stood before the cell, unlocking bolt after bolt with twitchy hands. It took what must have felt to him like an eternity, until the door finally swung inward with a high-pitched screech.

Without a word Sasuke pushed past him. In the middle of the cell he came to a halt and gave his girlfriend a once-over. There was no point in asking her if she was okay. He could tell she wasn't. Seeing her all alone made him sure that he knew what happened and so he did not ask any of these questions, the answers of which he didn't want to hear anyway. For a moment all he wanted was to enjoy this moment now that he finally found his girlfriend, alive, when he had already assumed the worst, and feel at least a bit of the tension from before fall off his shoulders. At least for a moment.

And whoever now expected to see a heart-wrenching reunion, with them falling into each other's arms exuberantly, declaring their love for each other and kissing, with Sayuri's foot popping up like in the movies and everything suddenly being right again – whoever expected such a scene was greatly disappointed.

It was a moment in which they only stood, face to face, neither moving, nor talking, like shy children, being introduced to one another. It wasn't clear who brought up the courage to make the first steps, but without anyone's awareness they ended up wrapped in each other's arms, holding on to each other tentatively, as though they had not seen each other for long enough a time to grow apart. Being entwined again made them all too aware of the third person missing in that precious circle that was their family and so it was no happy moment in which they found together again.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" Sayuri stood repeating into Sasuke's chest, over and over again like a broken windup doll, while he only held her tighter, wishing she would stop apologising. Wishing she would stop shaking. Before long he felt her press her flat hands against his chest, pushing away from him and although he didn't want to let go of her just yet, he let her. Looking into her face, her battered skin as white as the snow outside and the haunted look in her red-rimmed eyes, it made him sure that she would now confront him with the bitter truth. That she would tell him now why their son wasn't with her, when she has been supposed to be with him.

"It was him," she said in a whisper, all too aware of the curious eyes watching them, much worse the attentive ears listening to their conversation. "He took him."

He had known it.

There was no need for her to add anything else. These words were enough to have a whole story unfold before his eyes. The stuff that nightmares are made of. Madara had his son, when he had sworn to himself that he would not allow him to lay a finger on any part of his family.

"Are you hurt?" he asked and Sayuri wondered what he would think of her if she said no. What right did she have to not be hurt? Didn't that mean she hasn't fought hard enough? Had she really done all she could, when she was not left with enough damage to prove so? Mental scars, invisible to even the keen sighted eyes of the Uchiha, did not count…

"I tried to get him back, but-"

"Shh- Not here," Sasuke silenced her, "Let's get you out of here."

"Okay."

He watched her step out of his arms. It was with slow, teetering steps that she walked back to the sparse cot and put her blanket down on it, even taking the time to fold it. She was only wearing a grey pullover. The fabric thin, dirty and frayed at the elbows. When they left Konoha, she had worn his jacket. Her headband was gone, too.

"Where are your things?" he asked, but Sayuri only shrugged and as she turned around to him now, he could see that the front of her collar was worn out and stained with dark splotches of blood and just now, she appeared terribly fragile, almost alarmingly so. There was neither fat nor muscle on her body. She's always been slender but not quite like this. How come he didn't notice before? She didn't look like a proper shinobi at all, and he wondered what had gotten into him to let her out of his eyes for but a single second. He was a damn fool.

"Keep the blanket. At least until we find something else," Sasuke said and approached her to drape the blanket around her shoulders again. "It's really cold outside."

"Okay."

"Then let's go."

"What about her?"

"_Her_?" Sasuke frowned and followed Sayuri's gaze to the adjacent cell. "Karin."

"Sasuke," she offered his name in a sort of greeting and gave Sayuri an angry glare. And here she had almost thought she had escaped his notice…

"Open her door, too," Sasuke said as he departed the cell with Sayuri tugging along at his hand, like pupils on an excursion.

"Don't tell me she's your wife, too."

"That's none of your business, just open the door. It's an order." Sasuke said with emphasis and looked hard at the men before him, watching them exchange insecure looks, before the bald man said, "He's one of the commanders, after all…" and finally opened the door to Karin's cell.

"C'mon out, Karin. You're coming with us."

Finding Karin of all people right here, where they had about least expected her, made him almost believe in a turn for the better. When it came to finding Madara, his old team-mate would be way more useful than Kakashi's dog was. Maybe things weren't quite as hopeless after all.

"Tze, who said I wanted to come with you?" Karin snapped, her arms tightly folded before her chest and she did not budge an inch. "I like it here and the food isn't half bad either."

Instead of reasoning with her or commenting on her refusal, Sasuke merely stood there, looking at her with an unreadable expression, his eyebrow slightly raised. His eyes pitch black instead of red…

"Oh damn it," she snubbed and let her arms fall to her sides before rushing past them, out of her cell and down the corridor.

Sasuke watched her, but did not think it necessary to go after her. He was sure she would be waiting. So instead he looked down at the ninken by his side and said, "Pakkun, inform Kakashi that I found them and that we'll be arriving at headquarters as soon as possible."

"…?" Sayuri raised her head with a confused frown sprawled across her face. There was no time to report back to headquarters. They had to find Mikan and that quick. Sasuke had to agree to that. But then he wasn't yet familiar with the details. He would change his mind real quick once he heard what happened, which is why she did not disagree to him yet.

"Hmpf," Pakkun gave a bark that sounded a bit like a snort. Sasuke wouldn't make a good dog owner. The entire principle of rewarding a successfully executed command with either dog treats or some praise didn't seem to ring a bell with him. And so Pakkun was the second one now to rush down the long corridor without another word, before vanishing out of sight.

"That's all. We'll be leaving now," Sasuke said to the prison wards and took the first step towards the exit, but then reconsidered again and turned back around.

"You're gonna need this," he said to Sayuri, before he pulled the headband off the bald man's head and passed it to her. The man was too stunned by his action to even protest and only found his voice again as the two of them were already gone.

* * *

><p>It was like he had expected. Once Sasuke and Sayuri departed the prison building, they found Karin waiting for them in the front yard. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her middle to shield herself from the cold and passed angry glares to some of the sentries, watching her. It was rather doubtful that they would have let her pass, even if she had wanted to. When they finally reached her, she let out a deep breath, puffing like a locomotive.<p>

"I should have stayed inside," she groused and wiggled her nose as a snowflake chose it as its landing spot. Of course, it had to start snowing now of all times. "So what do you want now?"

"Wait till we're in private," Sasuke said and darted his pupils quickly across all the men positioned around the prison. There were just as many of them beyond the high walls surrounding this building, which meant they would have to lay back a fair distance before being able to talk without having to fear being overheard.

"Let's go."

"_Let's go_," Karin imitated him, "You're not my boss or anything… I can't believe I came with you in the first place…"

"I just got you out of prison."

"Yeah… after I went to great lengths to get myself into it…"

"Whatever… now you're out," Sasuke shrugged and Karin had to grit her teeth hard to not snap at him or better even lash out at him, like she used to do with Suigetsu all the time. Despite it all, she couldn't convince her feet to stop following him and turn the other way, go back maybe. They were no longer Team Hebi and you couldn't call their relationship a friendship either and most of all he had broken her heart, so she owed absolutely no loyalty to him. He deserved whatever was happening to him and she really did hope it was something awful because what _she_ has gone through because of him has been pretty darn awful, too. He was bad for her and yet she could already see herself at his bidding again. He called, she came. That's how it was and there was nothing she could do about it. Deep in her heart she had to be an absolute masochist.

"Which way?" Sasuke asked. He had no doubt that Karin understood that he wanted her to lead them to the closest place where they'd be able to talk openly.

"Geez… hold on a second…" Five minutes and he was already using her. How very easy it was to fall back into old patterns. She closed her eyes, mentally wandering through the region. "It doesn't matter. There's nothing beyond the perimeters of this building."

"Hn," Sasuke nodded, "We'll head west then."

He remembered passing a small shrine on his way here. It wouldn't shield them from the cold, but at least they'd have a roof over their heads, in case the snow should become any worse than this.

Lady Luck seemed to be on their side at length. The snow was only a light drizzle, more like faint mist, actually, and it soon ceased entirely. Although it felt really cold still, what little snow was crusting the ground already began to melt, so they walked noiselessly across the soggy earth. None of them said a word. It was so still, they could all but hear their heartbeats.

It didn't take long for them to reach the temple Sasuke had targeted. Amidst the overwhelming greyness of their surroundings, it looked entirely out of place with its vermilion pillars and the dark green roof shingles. They ascended a flight of stone stairs and entered the shrine, whose roof was only supported by pillars and not walls. Sasuke came to a halt at the top of the stairs, ready to take off again any second, while Sayuri went inside and examined the ornate bowl in the back, in which colourful sticks of incense were peeking out like worms after a rainfall. None of them was lit. She'd like to pray, but wouldn't asking for divine help be the same as admitting that the situation was out of their hands?

She didn't know how to pray anyhow.

Karin sat down on the stone block in the centre of it. It was probably no different from sitting on an ice cube, but she didn't let it show and instead crossed her legs and folded her hands around her knee, giving her two fellow shinobi an expectant look.

"We're among ourselves now," she declared, "So what's going on?"

All eyes were on Sayuri now, who looked like a picture of misery, wrapped in her blanket and that vacant look on her face. It seemed like she was hardly there. Karin was just about to get impatient, when she started retelling all she could remember in the monotone drone of a sleep-talker. She didn't even need three sentences and now they were all quiet again.

"This is bad…"

Unsurprisingly, Karin was the first to find her voice again. Admittedly, she had wanted something bad to happen to them, but this was a little over the top – it was the kind of thing you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

"Hn," Sasuke nodded. On first sight he appeared as calm and emotionless as ever, which seemed downright cruel if you took into account that he just learned that his son had been kidnapped by a raving madman and that he neither knew where he was, nor what he was supposed to do to get him back. It was the second look that made clear that he was too stunned or maybe even too overwhelmed by the news to know how to react. Maybe that was a good thing because right now it was essential for him to stay calm and figure out what to do. He could always fly into a rage when he was face to face with Madara…

"We won't be able to return to headquarters," Sasuke said and looked at Sayuri. She gave a slight nod and to his surprise she did not protest; didn't even question him. She must have arrived at the same conclusion. "They don't know what happened and Pakkun will tell Kakashi that we'll be coming soon, so maybe that buys us some time, but we shouldn't count on it. They'll probably send out someone to search for us soon."

And unless they wanted any more trouble than they already had, they should better not let anyone find them.

"Karin, I know I'm already deep in your debt, but I have to ask for your help once again. You have to help me find my son."

"Do I?" she frowned, enjoying to have the upper hand.

"Please Karin."

_Please_? Had Uchiha Sasuke actually just used the word please?

"And what if I refuse?"

"You _will_ help us. The question is only whether you do so voluntarily or not."

Karin didn't doubt him a second. Even if he hadn't activated his Sharingan for emphasis… The familiar sight gave her the creeps and if she weren't so sure that he was dead serious, she would be over the hills and far away already. Well… at least he did say please before…

"Tze… whatever…" she snubbed and looked to the side like a stubborn child, while Sasuke closed his eyes and when he opened them again, they were back to their usual black.

"We'll have to find Madara's base. We've been there before and you know what Madara's chakra feels like. You think you can find him?"

"Of course I can!" And he knew that exactly. He hadn't recruited her for nothing…

"Good," he sighed and focused his attention on his girlfriend now, "And you Sayuri-"

"-Forget it," she cut him off before he could even get started. "I won't go back to the evacuation hall. You wanted me to go there because of Mikan, but now he isn't… he isn't…" She sucked in her bottom lip, unable to get the words out. Not again… "I won't be left behind again. I won't go and hide and leave the burden to you. I've always relied too much on you to sort everything out for me, but I will no longer do that. We'll find our son together."

There was steely determination in her voice, so who was Sasuke to talk her out of it? With Madara being their enemy there was no such thing as a safe place, so it really didn't matter where she was. Actually it was better this way. As long as she was close to him he could personally make sure she was alright. However if he took her with him, there was a definite certainty that she would meet Madara, whereas otherwise it was only a chance and he didn't know what she would do when she met him. Didn't know what Madara would do… And despite all the apparent advantages, it went against the grain for him to picture her on the battlefield. Although they've been in the same team for years and had gone on countless missions together, it was hard for him to think of her as a shinobi…

"He's my son, too. And if you think I'll just stand back and do nothing while he… he… you can forget about that, okay?" she added as he didn't do anything other than gazing into space and probably trying to think of a way to change her mind. "I want to be there for you. Please let me. I know that there isn't much I can do on the battlefield, but let me at least take care of you."

He heaved a sigh, "You won't leave my side. You won't get involved in any fights. If something happens, you run and hide. Understand?"

"Run? And let them stab me in the back? - I'll stay by your side, but forget about the rest," she said and started walking down the steps of the shrine. "Are you coming?"

* * *

><p>"<em>She's waking up…"<em>

_Her eyes opened to a blurriness of subdued colours._

"_Are you okay?"_

_It was daylight, but it seemed weirdly milky. Then there were two gems right above her, coloured in the deepest teal and shining like reversed stars, just not that dark. They were-_

_-beautiful._

_It took a little for her to realise it were eyes._

"_Huh…" She pushed up into a sitting position, backing away from the two boys in front of her, the blonde and the dark-haired one. Her saviours._

"_Are you okay?" the one with the teal eyes and dark hair repeated again. "We treated your wounds but there was so much blood. I don't know if we got them all."_

_She looked down at herself, saw the bandages going around her arm and her knee._

"_Hey?" He reached his hand out to her shoulder, but she was quick to snatch it away._

"_Don't… d-don't touch me."_

"_Don't be afraid," the blonde said in a pleasantly calm voice; even so it failed to soothe her. "We don't belong to these guys. We saved you."_

"_Why…?"_

"_What do you mean why?"_

"_Why did you help me?"_

"_Well, we're all in the same boat, right? Might as well look after one another."_

"_I don't understand…"_

"_You're a fugitive, too, aren't you?"_

_A fugitive? Yes, that's exactly what she was. She fled from her own past, her own self, although she knew very well that this was not what they meant, but she didn't feel like she owed them a detailed explanation. After all they had just indirectly admitted that they were criminals. But then she was a criminal, too. She had only just killed a man. _

_Maybe she was **that** kind of fugitive after all._

"_A young girl like you… How old are you? 12…13…14…15" He stopped counting as she cast her eyes down, interpreting her reaction as an answer. "That bastard."_

…

…


	25. Repose

**25. Repose**

They were walking west, across hill after hill, straight into the setting sun, which was invisible already behind the thick layer of clouds, looming right above their heads with their obese bellies. Full of snow, probably. All the roads in the Land of Frost seemed to be directed either to heaven or to hell. They ascended steep mountain paths, only to go back down again a few hours later. It made them understand now, however, why this country was already ruled by winter, when the rest of the continent was experiencing autumn. The difficult terrain depleted their energy and their journey seemed especially grim as they were too busy biting down their teeth hard to keep them from chattering to exchange any words. It was bitter cold.

Sasuke was walking up front, leading the way north-west, because this is where they assumed (but didn't know) Madara's base to be. Karin was not able to sense him. Not yet. And so they were chasing mere assumptions. At least until they were close enough to make anything out. Hopefully. It was all they could do for the moment and it was certainly better than sitting on their hands.

Up until now they hadn't encountered a single soul on their way. The shinobi of the Allied Nations would be farther in the north, the civilians have been evacuated, successfully it seemed, and as for the enemy – they didn't know a thing about Madara's troops yet.

Night fell like a pitch black curtain. A distant rumble echoed through the valley they were currently passing. It was less cold down here, but ere long the so distant sounding storm caught up to them and they were no longer sure if the gentle snow wouldn't have been preferable to this literal downpour. It took less than a minute for them to be soaked to the skin and they were shivering just as hard now as they did on the frosty mountaintops.

"Let's search for a place to rest," Karin screamed over the din of their surroundings, the thunder and the clashing of water against rocks and more water. None of her two reticent fellow travellers had said a word about resting yet, which struck her as a little suspicious. "I'm soaked and tired and if you think I'll march through the whole night then forget about that right away!"

After all she had no real reason to attend this journey. At least none other than wanting to escape Sasuke's wrath, which would certainly follow a refusal on her part and that was something she did absolutely _not_ want to experience by any means. But wading through puddles and having lashes of rain whip her face didn't rank so pretty high on her list either…

"You're right," Sasuke said after a long moment. Actually the thought of resting when his son was somewhere out there, all alone, was almost unbearable to him, but in their current condition they were ultimately useless. They were all tired and exhausted and he was no exception. After all he spent the whole night searching his family. "We should come across a small town soon. We'll seek cover there."

"Fine by me," Karin said, "But the hotel room goes on your bill!"

No one laughed.

* * *

><p>It took them about an hour to find the town Sasuke had spotted on the map, before it started to rain and the thin paper got so soaked that the ink blurred and the countries ran down the edges of the world like a waterfall of colour. Some of the fat raindrops had punched holes into it and now the land was cluttered with craters.<p>

The three shinobi halted before the gates leading into the town. With the rain and the darkness their vision was limited to perhaps ten metres, but whenever a flash of lightning tore through the blackness, the shadows of the buildings, pylons and trees snapped forward as though trying to catch them and everything looked so grim and distorted then that they couldn't help having a bad feeling about staying at this place.

"Karin," Sasuke turned towards his former team-mate, who was a little annoyed by now about the way the Uchiha only needed to say her name in order to boss her around.

"I know, I know…" she groaned and brought her index fingers together, closing her eyes to make concentrating easier. "No living human being for miles around. It's a ghost town."

"Hn," Sasuke nodded his acknowledgement. "It'll do for the night," he said and passed through the gate, directly followed by the two women, who appeared a little more tentative though. You could tell by the way their pupils followed every shadow, maybe taking the expression "ghost town" a bit too literal.

The place sure had seen better days. Unlike Konoha, this town was very close to the presumed battlefields and as it seemed, they did not have time for an organised evacuation. The streets were full of trash, the items peeking like little islands out of the gigantic puddle, which made the whole place look like a swamp. Despite the rain, a stench of decay hung in the air and as the three turned another corner, they saw one possibly source of it. There was a market. Some of the stalls have been thrown over and the streets were littered with mouldy food and animal waste. Cats feasted on half-mauled carcasses, but interrupted their meal to arch their backs and hiss at them as they approached. Their slitted eyes aglow with a demonic fire, whenever a streak of lightning cut through the sky. With the humans gone, the animals have reclaimed this town and all the remnants of its past population and they seemed loathe to return it again. The people really must have taken what they could carry and fled, leaving everything else, formerly good food, toys, bags and even a few wheelbarrows to rot in the muddy streets. How many other places looked this way? And how many would do so after the war? How would Konoha look?

Despite having Karin's word that there was no one there, the three shinobi skulked cautiously through the abandoned streets. They felt a lot like intruders, despite still moving across public space, but they did not plan on spending the night out here in the open. The place they targeted next wasn't quite so public any longer. At a venture they approached a bigger, but otherwise inconspicuous house, but then in the gloom all the houses in the street looked virtually the same: simple, square and somewhat sinister. It was with brief hesitation that Sasuke gave the front door a shove. It didn't surprise any of them that already the first house they tried was unlocked. A certain look was exchanged between the three of them and without a word they agreed that this would be their residence for the night.

It was almost bold with what a naturalness they entered, as though this was not somebody else's home. They did not take off their shoes, as common courtesy would demand and left muddy footprints on the dusty hardwood floor. It must have been a while, probably a week or more, since the last time someone has been in here.

"Not bad," Karin gave an acknowledging nod as she entered the living room and turned on the light. The room was large and unlike the rest of the house orderly, which they realised as they went from room to room like sceptical house buyers. "They still have electricity here; let's turn on the heat. I'm half frozen."

The last and to them probably most important room on the ground floor was the kitchen. The window had been left open and the floor was submerged with filthy rain water. A fine mist of water had sprayed the entire countertop, too, and the antique-looking wood was ruined. Despite the fresh air, streaming through the open window, it smelled of damp and mildew. Not surprising, though. Apart from a dead mouse, having been draped quite nicely in the middle of the stove with its intestines surrounding it, the dark wooden dining table in the centre of the kitchen was still laid. There were four bone china plates, a soup tureen and several bowls filled with rice, meat and vegetables. As though the owners of the house would come back any second to have dinner – if it weren't for the feathery blooms of mould all over it…

Sayuri was the first to leave the room again. It was too sorry a sight and there was only so much a human being could bear at a single day. So far she had managed the day without breaking down, but now she had about reached the end of her tether. Though her body clearly yearned for rest, she wanted their stay in this house to be a brief one, so they could set out and resume searching their son. She did not want to rest more than was absolutely necessary and she did not want to start feeling sympathy for a bunch of perfect strangers either. Back in the corridor, she looked out at the darkened land through the glass panes of the white coated veranda door, focusing her full attention on watching bubbles appear on the puddles' surfaces, drift across them and then vanish into nothingness once again. A peal of thunder, so loud it must have split the sky in halves, left her unmoved, but the following flash of lightning, which brought upon a light, far brighter than that of day, deflected her attention, as she saw the reflection of a cabinet cluttered with picture frames and various souvenirs in the mirror-like glass.

Turning her back on the now again black window, Sayuri approached the piece of furniture, she had spotted. It fitted well to the house's old-fashioned style with its scalloped edges and the embroidered tablecloth; white with golden tendrils of flowers. A pattern that could be found on the various picture frames as well, which were gold, too, and now with the dust also white. Her fingers, still red and swollen from the cold, curled around one of them. With her sleeve she brushed the dust off the glass and stared into the faces of a happy family, smiling at her from out of the distant world of captured memories. There were four people, an elderly couple and two children, a boy and a girl. They were really young, the boy maybe four and the girl seven or eight and it wasn't clear how exactly these four people were related. Were they their parents or grandparents? She turned her attention to the other photos, but they always featured the same four people, ranging from wedding images to baby's first steps. They've had no camera there as Mikan had succeeded to stand all by himself for the very first time. They've rarely taken any pictures at all. Their walls were bare and their shelves empty. If someone entered their house there would be nothing but their clothes to imply the identity of the house owners. It seemed like a big neglect on their part and now what if they never got the chance to make up for that?

"Don't do that," Sasuke said as he saw his girlfriend with the two picture frames in her hands, the wedding picture and the walking boy, that had her attention captured. "It's just a house," he said and took the pictures out of her hands, putting them face down on the desk, but Sayuri's eyes just passed on to the remaining ones then. "We have no business with this family. Now c'mon, let's search for a place to sleep."

He pulled at her hand, encountering only mild resistance before she trotted after him and up the stairs. The hallway was narrow, the old wooden floor covered by a brown rug. There was no furniture, other than some toys scattered here and there. There was also a lone sock, pink with white dots. Three doors, two on the left, one on the right, led into what they assumed to be the bedrooms. Sasuke halted at the top of the stairs and looked over his shoulder as he perceived the soft patter of further steps behind them.

"We'll set out early next morning," he said to Karin. "Make sure to get some rest."

"Hmph," was the only comment Karin managed to fit in, before Sasuke started walking. He opened the door closest to them before peeking inside. Then, apparently satisfied, he entered, his hand at the small of Sayuri's back forcing her to come with him. The door behind them swung shut again and Karin was left alone in the corridor, thinking about running away. If it weren't raining outside, she might have actually done so, but as it was, she looked forward to drying up and crawling into bed. She could still make a run for it early next morning.

* * *

><p>The room Sasuke had chosen at random turned out to be the master bedroom. The walls were made of wood and the floor covered by a thick red carpet. It was large and dark, despite the white furniture. There were again pictures of the couple from before. They had been placed on a white oak vanity table, which matched the enormous wardrobe, covering the entire right wall. The centre of the room was occupied by a big double bed. It was unmade and one of the thick duvets was halfway on the ground, one of the edges pointing towards the door, hinting at where the house-owners had vanished to. Other than that it was very orderly, but also very crammed.<p>

Fighting the urge to inspect the pictures again and pry into the lives of these strangers, who were, unbeknownst to them, providing them with shelter, Sayuri sat down on the edge of the bed, her eyes on the door. She tried to erase all her thoughts and have her mind go blank. To her surprise there wasn't much effort involved in that.

Meanwhile, Sasuke had made it his task to investigate the room. There was nothing remarkable about it, apart from a second door, leading into a small bathroom, so he was through with it really quick. His eyes drifted back to Sayuri, sitting blank-eyed on the bed, withdrawn into a private world of guilt and shame. There was only the consistent hammering of rain against the window, but instead of defying, the sound only emphasised the silence between them. Sasuke badly wanted to break it, but didn't know how. Now that they were alone, what was left to say? What, but idle words they didn't believe anyway?

He turned away again. He put his backpack down on the floor and hung his dripping wet flak jacket and his pullover over the backrest of a wooden rocking chair, which groaned under the weight of his clothes. Immediately, he felt ten kilos lighter and that wasn't entirely due to having stripped down to his pants. Apart from a hasty breakfast, his stomach hasn't seen much of anything today and he had probably burned his share of calories long before noon. Now that he had time to think about it, he realised how hungry he was.

He picked up his backpack again and started sorting through it. There wasn't much left of his provisions. They had only been meant to last until yesterday afternoon and the three rice balls he had left, barely seemed enough to fill his stomach. They'd have to ransack the house after all, before setting out tomorrow. Who knew how long they'd be on the road and who knew when they'd have another chance to stock up on provisions?

He turned around to Sayuri, the box with rice balls in his hands. "Are you hungry?"

She shook her head. Of course not.

How could she eat when her son might be starving somewhere? How could she sleep when her only child might not even have a roof over his head? How could she stop worrying herself sick, when her baby might be scared to death, crying for them, thinking they had abandoned him?

"I'll leave it here. For later," he said and placed the box on the bedside table. Not that she even looked his way. He has been surprised, maybe even a bit proud but also worried, about how composed she has been all day. She has been quiet alright, but she didn't cry or let her feelings get the best of her. She still didn't cry, but as for the latter, her feelings seemed to be overwhelming her now. After all she's been there. She's been there as Madara had taken their son and she has not been able to do anything. That had to be torturing her, when actually it was just as much his fault as it was hers. Even more so. He was the one who has not been able to keep his promise.

He had eaten two of the filled rice balls, she had prepared for him in their own kitchen what felt like a lifetime ago and Sayuri still hadn't moved. Still sitting like a statue in her dripping clothes, the carpet around her feet stained a darker shade of red, as though she was bleeding.

He squatted down on the floor before her, taking her hands in his. They felt cold and rigid, as though she was actually made of porcelain; white china, just like the crockery downstairs. Ten minutes in this house and she had transformed into a part of it, just as lifeless and just as sad. It was rubbing off on him, too.

"It's not your fault, you know?" he said and looked into her grey-blue eyes, but all he could see was a reflection of his thumbs, moving in circles over her knuckles. "There was nothing you could have done." The mere thought of her taking on Uchiha Madara, one of the co-founders of Konoha Gakure and leader of Akatsuki was ridiculous. How could she not see that? "It's a miracle you're even alive."

He kissed her cold fingers and folded them together, before closing his hands around them, futilely trying to warm her from the outside, when she was still carrying the cold inside her. She wondered if she'd ever feel warm again.

"I just wish…" she spoke up, sudden and quiet, as though taking up a previous conversation, "I just wish we could take him and go home."

"We will," he said, kissing her hands again, "I promise, we will."

"Don't promise," she said, lowering her head. "I don't believe in promises any longer. It's not in our hands anyway."

He could promise to try, but not promise anything concerning the result. There were too many other factors involved in that. Too many people who would try to keep him from keeping his word.

"In whose hands then?"

"I don't know… God, fate, something else – take your pick."

"So that's it? You just want to lean back and hope for some divine power to settle things?" he asked, wondering when she had become so world-weary, so resigned.

"No… I just really wish this had never happened and we could now all be home together."

"But it did happen. There's nothing you can do about that."

"I know… that's why I said I wish. I know that wishes don't usually come true… But I just really wish they would. He's really scared of thunder, you know? I hope it's at least warm where he is…"

She looked over her shoulder at the small window, the glass black, except for when distant shudderings of light made the bleak world reappear, only to disappear again a second later. The low growling of thunder made her shiver. Something was brewing…

"Let's get you out of these wet clothes," Sasuke suggested, but received no reaction. She had retreated into her private world again, no longer listening, no longer in his reach. "C'mon," he sighed and reached for her feet, carefully taking off her shoes and putting them aside. Her feet felt like lumps of ice, as though there was no more blood flowing through them. None of them had expected to be exposed to such extreme temperatures. Apart from food, they would have to look for clothes here, too.

The dry warmth of the heater filled the room, along with the smell of burning dust. The old house creaked and groaned as it warmed up, as though coming to life after a long sleep. The actually living beings, however, were quiet. Sasuke took off her clothes piece by piece, and he did it with so much care that it seemed like he was handling glass. He started at the bottom and once he reached her upper garments, the sight of her chest made him falter, stunned. There was a painful looking bruise on her chest, featuring different shades of red, from a soft rose to a dark auburn, already turning violet at the edges. The skin above the ridges of her collarbones was split open and swollen, still dotted with crumbs of dried blood. To him it looked like her sternum was broken, but he was no medic and she did not once say a word about being in pain and if she really had a broken bone then it would have had to be painful as hell. But then, even without being broken, her injury looked anything but pleasant. And she didn't even think it necessary to inform him about something like this…

"What did he do to you?" he asked, his voice soft, his hands ginger as they trailed across her sore skin, but his eyes were ablaze with raw anger. Sayuri looked away, ashamed, and Sasuke almost wanted too add some more pressure to her wounds, just to get any reaction out of her at all. Anything was better than seeing her like this, like a breathing corpse.

No wonder she no longer believed in promises. He had promised her that he would not let anyone lay a finger on them and now Mikan was gone and she was hurt – physically and mentally. And it was all his fault. It happened because he stood up against Madara. He hadn't even betrayed him out of conviction, not in the first place… he had done it for his family, but now…

_He will pay for this._

"I'll take a shower," he said as a pretext to leave the room, so she wouldn't have to watch him lose control. He picked up the thick duvet, the one that had not lain on the floor, and draped it around her slender shoulders. He pressed a kiss against her forehead and then vanished in the adjacent bathroom.

It was tiny, with only a bathtub, a sink, a toilet and a small cabinet with neatly folded towels on top of it. The walls and the floor were covered with the same light brown tiles. Some of them had dark brown flower prints on them. He took off his boxers, pulled back the white shower curtain and stepped onto the rubber mat in the middle of the porcelain tub, feeling the knobs under his bare feet.

He turned on the water on its highest setting, but barely registered the heat. Countless hours of intensive, relentless training had made his body almost insensitive to temperatures hot and cold alike. His muscled, steeled body, which was unharmed, while his elfin girlfriend was covered in bruises and his son-

-he didn't even know how his son was faring. He could be dead for all he knew!

It was only now that Sasuke stood in the steamed up bathroom, beneath the jet of scalding hot water that this realisation hit him with full force. His body began to shake and he couldn't even recall the last time he felt so helpless. With his forehead resting against the cold tiles, Sasuke took slow, laboured breaths, trying to regain his composure. But as he closed his eyes, all his nightmares about Madara resurfaced and played like movies on the back of his lids and it was all he could do to keep standing and not have his knees give way beneath him.

His fist hit the wall once.

Twice.

Again and again.

The tiles crumbled under the force of his hits bit by bit, revealing the shabby concrete wall beneath. The noise of it almost sufficed to drown out his wailed curses.

* * *

><p>On the other side of the bathroom door, Sayuri still sat on the bed, the way he had left her. She had pulled the blanket up high to shield her ears from having to listen to Sasuke's outburst. She's never heard him like that before and neither did she want to, but the sound of it had already imprinted on her mind, never to be forgotten again.<p>

It made her want to cry, too, but instead of tears it were drops of rain that fell from her hair and rolled down her cheeks.

* * *

><p>Karin in the other room, the children's room, heard him, too. Moreover she could <em>feel<em> what Sasuke was feeling and it was that ability of hers, which now left her anxious, torn in between pity for her old crush and fear for herself. She knew Sasuke and knew his temper and though his chakra might not feel as dark as it did at some points in the past, the pure, raw hatred and more than that the despair that had him in its clutches were terrifying. Sometimes it has taken far weaker emotions for Sasuke to lose his mind and turn into a raving, bloodthirsty madman with no remorse and no mercy – no discernible conscience. Someone capable of virtually anything. And _that_ Sasuke, the one who seemed so close now, was someone she did not want to come across ever again.

And still she was here.

She was lying in a bed that was not her own and was so tiny that her legs dangled over its edge, listening to the pounding of thunder outdoors and the pounding of fists against the wall by her side. The one an array of stuffed animals was lined up against in a neat row. There were only two gaps. One gap had previously been occupied by the soft pink unicorn, she was now cradling to her chest, stroking its head as though it was the toy that needed to be comforted and not her. The other gap she didn't know about, but something about its presence left her restless.

And she didn't know what she was doing here anyhow. She was through with Sasuke and owed no loyalty to him. All he ever did was use her. He took and took, but what did he ever give back? – _Nothing_. He never did anything he derived no personal benefit from. But now that's what he expected of her. It could- no, it _would_ be dangerous and she might not even get out of this alive and still he expected her to just be okay with it all and help him rescue _his_ son, the one he had made with a woman that was definitely not her. Of course she felt sorry for him and she understood him in a way. She understood why he wanted to do anything to get him back, but that had nothing to do with her. She had never even seen him and it was hard to sympathise with something that existed only as a name without a face in your mind.

And still she was here.

His fist hit the wall again. So hard, the whole bed shook and the big teddy beside her pillow fell face-first against it. She wondered if he'd punch right through the wall. Though that was only something she wondered about to keep herself from mulling over what really occupied her and that was wondering about whether she should leave or not. In Sasuke's current state he'd beat the living daylight out of her, once he noticed and he would notice. But even if his momentary lack of composure were not a problem, she somehow doubted she could find it in her to desert him. She had managed to walk out on him before, but that had taken all her strength. She didn't have it in her to leave him again. Not now that he needed her.

She used to be obsessively in love with him, wanted him all to herself because of all the feelings he evoke in her. The way he could make her feel, could make her forget about the hard times. However now being with him no longer made her feel good. It made her feel weak and needy, and she couldn't help but hate herself a little.

And still she was here.

Over the time her obsessive love must have turned into altruistic love. She was so pathetic…

* * *

><p>It has been a necessity, something he could not suppress and secretly Sasuke might have expected or hoped really to feel better, once it was all out. But instead of taking away some of the pressure, it was more like an admission of his own helplessness. Neither had he been able to stop himself from letting his self-control slip, nor was he able to do anything about the reason that caused this deviation from the norm in the first place.<p>

Like a ghost, he emerged from the bathroom, pale and somewhat intangible. The thick wall of smoke, billowing into the dim bedroom, only added to the impression of someone having returned from a world in between. It somehow felt like that, too, like this reality was one he did not belong in.

Sayuri was standing at the window, still wrapped in the blanket, looking out at the dark scenery. It was still raining. She was watching the world drown and he was watching her back. The constant pattering filling the room in lieu of conversation, though it did not quite manage to expel the silence. For a moment all Sasuke did was stand there, not knowing what to do or say, for what was there to say really? His previous outburst was a topic neither of them would broach. Eventually he overcame his stupor and approached Sayuri from behind, wrapping his arms around her middle. It surprised him to feel her flinch and pull away, hugging herself instead. She turned around then, looking at him like he was a stranger, although, truth be told, she appeared like a stranger to him as well, so quiet and withdrawn and somehow lacking something.

Maybe it was hope.

"I don't think we should stay here," she said, her voice a frail thing, but no less urgent for that. She tightened her hold around her slim body, directing another glance at the darkness, consuming the world beyond the four walls they had intruded so boldly. Following her gaze, Sasuke noticed that all the picture frames on the windowsill were turned over. "It doesn't seem right."

"We have no choice," he said, sounding and looking every bit as tired as he felt. "We need to get some rest."

"How?" she asked and he did not need her to explain the meaning behind this single word.

How indeed? How were they supposed to lie down and sleep, when their son could be who knows where in who knows what condition? As parents they had failed.

"He is okay. Madara wouldn't touch him."

"How do you know?"

"He wants to blackmail us and needs Mikan as leverage. Dead he'd be of very little use to him."

"D-dead…?" Sayuri stammered, feeling her face go white, as Sasuke said aloud the one thing she didn't even want to think about. The fact that he negated the scenario didn't mitigate his statement. He was terrible when it came to comforting someone.

"Or harmed," he added. "He won't lay a finger on him."

At least not when they weren't there to see it. He was at least sixty percent sure of that.

"We should sleep now," he said, reaching for her hand.

"Okay."

"Will you be able to?"

"… I don't think so."

He figured as much. After all he knew her. _He_ could fall asleep wherever he was, regardless of the situation. Orochimaru taught him to seize every chance he could get to rest, because he could never know when another chance would present itself, but she was not like that. She was too emotional a person for that.

"Look at me," he said and before the surprise about seeing his Sharingan activated had time to show on her face, her knees already gave way and she slumped against his chest, unconscious. He caught her in his arms and picked her up, inevitably remembering another time he held her lifeless body like this…

The room flickered with light, as he gentled her onto the mattress, smoothing her hair back. Not even sleep managed to erase the worry from her face.

Clashing against the tin roof, the rain sounded like a hail of bullets and a landslide or maybe just thunder after all, set the window panes vibrating. Everything about the scenery was hostile and Sasuke couldn't help having a bad feeling about this. Maybe it has been a bad idea after all to hypnotise her; especially without warning her beforehand or asking for her permission. In case something happened, he wouldn't be able to wake her up. She'd be asleep for at least four or five hours, exhausted as she's been probably more and he couldn't change that.

With a sigh, he lay down by her side and spread the blanket over them. Listening to the steady pattering of rain, he waited for sleep to overpower his racing mind and haul him somewhere dark and deep, where worries couldn't follow.

* * *

><p>An indefinable amount of time later, Sasuke woke to the sound of dripping water and the feeling of the cold, empty spot by his side. Immediately, he shot up in bed, his pupils darting rapidly from side to side, scanning the room to confirm what he already knew. Apart from him, there was no one there.<p>

She was gone.

* * *

><p>"<em>So, my name is Isamu," said the one with dark hair, who appeared like the more outgoing of the two, "and this is Senkai." <em>

_He pointed at the blonde, who was definitely calmer and more reserved, not in an unfriendly way, or so she guessed. His silence was nothing compared to that of Kagai, which was always charged with threats and the fear of the moment he would break it._

_They had to be somewhat around 16, so much older than her and they looked well-trained and they had to be – otherwise they wouldn't have managed to save her from that group of people._

"_How about you? What's your name?"_

"_Hm… what's in a name?"_

"_Well, we have to know how to call you."_

"_There's no need for you to call me anything."_

"_We just saved your life and you won't even tell us your name?" Isamu bowed down to her, looking impatient; impatient but not dangerous and yet she couldn't help but move away. Maybe there was no need to be scared, '**scared'** wasn't the right word anyway; she had long reached a point where something like fear was nothing but a vague memory._

"_I never asked you to."_

"_Are you serious?" he raised his voice slightly, irritated. "What happened to gratitude?"_

"_Gratitude?"_

"_Yes, gratitude. After all we saved you and decided to take you with us."_

"_Who said I wanted to go with you?" _

_She didn't need their pity. Not for something like that._

"_It's safer, for all of us." The blonde, Senkai, tried to calm them. "There are far more of them waiting where these guys came from. Our chances are greater when we stick together."_

"…"

_So they didn't want to keep her because they thought she needed help, but because they themselves needed her. _

_She was needed._

"_I'm Yuumei."_

…

…


	26. Setting out

**26. Setting out**

It shouldn't be possible. Judging from what Sasuke saw, when he looked out of the window, it was still in the middle of the night, so she couldn't possibly have woken up yet. Not after he hypnotised her. The first thought that came to his mind was of course that Madara had come to take away the only other member of the small circle he referred to as his family these days. But he couldn't imagine, or maybe it was that he didn't _want_ to imagine that he could have taken her away right under his nose – right out of his arms even, without him noticing.

He slipped out of bed and tried to make sense of the situation, looking for any clues, for the missing piece of the puzzle that would make him understand what happened, while he had still been dead to the world. The room was a mosaic of shadows, but he couldn't make out any movement in the various shades of black. The storm had ceased and yet he still perceived the constant dripping of water. Though it did not come from the outside, but from the bathroom.

Unwilling to give in to relief yet, Sasuke approached the closed door. He couldn't help having a bad feeling about this, and his feelings were usually something he could rely on. Though not without fail. It was slowly, cautiously, that Sasuke entered the dim bathroom. He found the bathtub full to the brim, the light drizzle dripping out of the faucet creating concentric waves on the otherwise smooth water surface.

There was no foam, but nevertheless he couldn't see what was inside the tub. The only thing that gave away that there was a person inside was a crown of hair, fanned out in all directions across the opaque water surface like a black sun.

Without any cognisance of how he got there, Sasuke found himself crouching before the white porcelain tub, his arms to his elbows in the water. It was cold, surprisingly so, and his hands raking through the water did not encounter anything solid, which surprised him even more. He just kept reaching around, his arms going ever deeper, all the way to his armpits now, but they came across nothing. The tub seemed bottomless. Despair took hold of him and he began to lose faith in his own senses. He could, after all, still see her hair, unmoving despite the disturbance he caused to the water during his wild but ultimately fruitless search for her.

Not sure how long exactly he knelt here already, Sasuke nevertheless knew that she couldn't possibly hold her breath for so long. He had to do something _now_!

In the spur of the moment, Sasuke grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her up and there she sat now, neither coughing nor gasping for breath, not even blinking – like nothing happened. He cupped her face in his hands, staring hard into her eyes, but they revealed nothing as to what was going on behind them.

"Sayuri, what are you doing?" he asked, detecting a slight tremor in his voice.

"Nothing," she said and brushed his hands away. "Don't you see? There's nothing we can do."

She dived under again and carried on drowning in silence.

And there was nothing Sasuke could do about it.

* * *

><p>When Sasuke woke up this time, he really was awake. Nevertheless, the scenario was the same; the other side of the bed was empty. Under an abstract veil of déjà-vu, Sasuke shot up in bed. <em>Again<em>. With his heart hammering against his chest, he let his eyes scan the dark room. _Again_. But all he could see was an indefinable jumble of shadows. He cursed his poor vision.

What felt like a myriad of heartbeat explosions later, he found her sitting in the rocking chair, in the far away corner of the room. It has been nothing but a dream after all. And what a stupid one at that…

The initial relief about finding the world the way it ought to be, without bottomless waters and his girlfriend drowning in her helplessness, soon gave way to renewed wonderment, as it was again a mystery to Sasuke how she could have already recovered from being hypnotised. By his Sharingan no less. Had he slept in? A look out of the window told him that such wasn't the case. The sun hadn't yet risen, although the shadow that shrouded the world outside had faded from a jet black to a sooty grey. It could be no later than five o'clock. He didn't think she'd wake up before six or seven. The most powerful Genjutsu in the world was apparently no match for the worried mind of a mother bereft of her child.

Fighting the urge to ask her what she was doing, only to have her return a devastating admission of their powerlessness, like she did in his dream, Sasuke instead moved to the edge of the bed, watching her, before saying, "It's too early still."

Upon hearing his voice, some life must have returned into her body and disturbed her statue-like stillness. She drew a sharp breath and lifted her head. For the briefest of seconds their eyes locked, blue meeting black, before she lowered her head and collapsed in on herself again, like a marionette having its wires cut off.

"It's been forty-one hours," Sayuri said, her voice a forlorn whisper, even in the stillness of the room. "The longest time I've ever been separated from him was at the day of the festival and that were only twenty hours. Now it's twice as long."

Almost two full days… That was enough time for just about _anything_ to happen. Sasuke couldn't believe that it's been such a long time that his son was already in the clutches of the vindictive Uchiha. The mere thought caused a suffocating and all too familiar sense of rage to swell in his chest, so as Sasuke spoke, his voice sounded hollow and was invaded by an occasional tremor.

"Madara will pay for this," he said and stood up, walking to the window," I will kill him with my own hands."

"Vengeance again?" Sayuri asked, causing Sasuke to turn his head slightly, looking at her from the corner of his eye. "It's like an endless circle isn't it? A perfectly repetitive circle… You'll never get out of it."

"I can't let him get away with what he did."

"I know."

"The moment he laid his hands on you, he sealed his fate."

"I know," she nodded again, holding Sasuke's gaze, until he, after deeming her response sincere, turned around to the window again, watching bare skeletons of trees sway in the strong wind. Last night's storm hadn't left but a single leaf on the gnarled branches. They reminded him of broken fingers, too tangled together to be fixed.

"As long as you put Mikan's life above Madara's death."

"I will", he said.

"Because he's our only chance at a family," she spoke dubiously and wrapped her arms tightly around her drawn up knees.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sasuke asked, turning around with a frown on his face, only to watch Sayuri bury her face in her knees, escaping the questions in his eyes.

"I can't have any more children."

"What?"

"I'm infertile," she whispered, wondering how her eyes could be painfully dry, when she felt close to tears. "There's only Mikan. I can't give you any more children. I'm sorry."

That sounded like she had given him up already. As though she was apologising for not being able to produce a substitute, now that the first baby was lost. What an awful mother she was.

For a moment, a moment that had yet to find an end, they were both silent. Speechless, really. Sasuke wasn't quite able to make use of the piece of revelation, she had dropped on him like a bomb that had failed to detonate yet. It just wouldn't sink in.

He moistened his lips. His mouth felt so dry, even a whole ocean couldn't quench that thirst. "Since when do you know…?" he asked, his voice hoarse and distant, his eyes vacant, as though whoever used to live in there had left in order to search for a time when the world had still been right. It would be a long search.

She opened her mouth to talk, her lips making a slight smacking noise as she pried them apart, but Sasuke interrupted her before she could even get started.

"Oh…" it came out and his eyes widened as he remembered her coming out of the hospital late. Remembered him being angry at her that day and the following ones.

_Now isn't that what you wanted?_

No wonder she hadn't told him. He hadn't given her a chance to, he had to admit that, but nonetheless he couldn't help feeling angry. With her, with himself, with fate, with the whole damn world – but most of all with her. He couldn't even look at her right now.

"I'm so, so sorry," her voice was like static hissing, completely unlike the high-pitched weeps she had expected to burst out of her mouth.

He'd like to tell her that it was okay, that it wasn't her fault and he knew it wasn't, she hadn't chosen to be infertile, although from how she had talked in the past she might have tempted her fate.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he couldn't help asking, his voice sounding taut, like his vocal cords were stretched to the point of snapping. Why did she wait for a moment such as this one to release something as _huge_ and devastating as this on him? There have been countless opportunities, so why now? Why at all?

"How could I? I know how much you want a big family," she murmured and rested her chin on her knees again, her eyes staring at something only she could see. Something far away and sad. Whatever it was, it brought a smile to her face, one with such a poignant quality that it seemed worse than if she had burst into tears. "You know, I always said I didn't want any more children and I think I also meant that, but… but whenever I thought of our future, I saw a hallway with many tiny shoes in it and dirty footprints everywhere…" The smile on her face widened for a second, looking almost sincere. Something flickered in her eyes, but before he had a chance to make out what it was, it went out again, like a match being struck in the middle of a hurricane. Her smile evaporated, as though it has never been there. "Now how could I have told you that this was never going to happen?"

"So we won't have any more children…" Sasuke said, but even verbalising it, didn't make it any easier for him to believe it. How could something like this happen and why did it happen to them? Why always them? He derived only little comfort from the fact that it seemed to grieve her too, when he would have thought she'd jump for joy instead. They say a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved, but how should knowing that the person you love is in the same pain as you are make you feel any better? He hated seeing her like this. "But we will not lose the one we have."

That was all the encouragement he could give her, but she didn't buy it. She remembered all too well the sounds of him hitting the wall over and over again. He had lost control - that just had to mean he was hopeless himself.

* * *

><p>The next hour slipped by quietly. They couldn't think of words that would do justice to their current situation and so they rather said nothing at all. Did nothing at all… Only as the first dim gleams of the rising sun heralded the end of the night and the arrival of a new, grey day, did they start getting ready for their pending journey and all the hardships they were sure to encounter.<p>

Sayuri had taken a shower now, too, all the time doing her best to ignore the sight of the broken tiles and thoughts about the violence involved in order to create so much damage, but the shard that got stuck in her foot made that impossible. Even now it reminded her again and again with every step she took and even when she was not moving at all. It made for a nice change to feeling nothing at all, though.

In the large, orderly wardrobe, she searched for new clothes and ended up with a thick, black pullover, a black vest and beige trousers she had to roll up, as to not step on them. All her new garments she owed to the man, for the woman owned nothing but dresses, skirts and blouses – solely things that weren't suited for any kind of activity other than standing, sitting and looking nice. Her current attire wasn't ideal either, being too big and all, but at least she could move around freely and was sheltered from the cold.

So now she was ready and for the moment there was nothing else for her to do, other than waiting for the others to complete their preparations as well. Sasuke was checking the contents of his backpack. Once he was done, he looked up to see Sayuri stand in the middle of the room with her slumped shoulders and her too big clothes, staring out of the window. Even in this not exactly big room, she looked lost – lost to him. As though she had become a different person since her confession. More likely, though, it was his own way of seeing her that had changed, but he did not know in how far and this was hardly the time to get to the bottom of such sentiments…

"Do you have any weapons?" he asked, the sound of his voice sending a surprised jolt through her body. It has been a while since either of them talked.

"Uh-uhm," she shook her head and turned around slowly as Sasuke approached her.

"Here."

He took off his leg pouch and handed it to her, but she only looked at it hard and then into his face.

"What about you?"

"I have enough others," he said, "C'mon."

He reached for her thigh, lifting it so he could fasten the bag to her leg. He pulled the two straps tight and then let go of her again.

"That should do," he said as he turned around to take care of his own things again.

"Thank you."

Her voice was a soft whisper, barely audible, but there was something about it, something he couldn't quite place, that made Sasuke freeze in his movement and turn back to her again. What he found in her face was sincere gratitude for something as trivial as this, something he regarded as a given, not even worth mentioning, but more importantly, perhaps, he saw her fear.

"You'll have to get a grip on yourself," he said sternly, when what he really wanted was to comfort her and tell her everything would be alright, but he didn't know if it would be. What he knew though was that their chances would be higher if he didn't have to worry about her. At least not all that much… "No matter what happens. You're a shinobi and shinobi don't show their emotions. They swallow their fear and do what they have to do," Sasuke said and felt awful for it. She looked as though he had just slapped her, but it had been necessary. Then, however, she straightened her back and met his gaze head on.

"I know," she said, her voice still quiet, but no longer with that timid, mouse-like quality about it. "I won't be a burden to you. I'll do whatever it takes, even-"

"-Even?" he asked as she failed to finish her sentence.

"Even if that means turning my back on the Alliance," she said and however little she seemed to like the implications of her own words, Sasuke could still see the determination in her face. She meant what she said. "Mikan means the world to me… and if it can't be avoided… if there is really no other way…"

"I know," Sasuke ended her struggle for the right words. "We'll do whatever it takes."

"Yes," she nodded, then lowered her gaze. "Does that make us bad people?"

"…It makes us good parents," Sasuke said after a while.

"That's enough for me," she said, feeling like at least a tiny bit of a burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Enough to find the courage to lean forward to kiss him, regardless of the situation and the conversation from before. It just felt right and as he responded to her kiss she knew it was.

They had both been right. Sasuke and Karin. Sasuke was right with saying that she had to get a grip on herself and Karin had been right with saying that crying wouldn't get her anywhere. If at all it would make things harder for them. But there was absolutely no need to be sad. They'd get Mikan back, safe and sound, she was absolutely sure of that. Something like this just didn't happen to babies. What kind of a world would that be in which babies were not only taken hostage, but also died from it? How could you possibly vindicate that something as pure and innocent as a new life was befallen by such a dreadful fate? Even in the animal world it is a basic rule that youngsters are not touched and there had to be some truth to all the movies in which children never die. They'd get him back for sure and then Madara will pay for having dared to lay a finger on a part of their family.

* * *

><p>Once they were done with their preparations for the journey, they departed the bedroom of the two strangers, who had, without even knowing about it, provided them with fresh clothes and shelter. Karin was already downstairs. They could hear her make all sorts of clattering noises in the kitchen. The radiators had been turned on all night and the air was very dry now. The smell of mildew had been pushed away to some extent. There was a slight herbal scent in the air, too, or maybe it was just their imagination. Whatever the case, the house definitely appeared more inviting than it did yesterday, which did not mean that they would extend their stay.<p>

As they entered the kitchen they found it not quite as revolting as the day before. Karin must have swept the table clear off the dirty dishes and the dead mouse was gone as well, leaving nothing but a black blotch as a token. However in place of the disgusting factors, chaos had now taken over the room. The doors of every single cupboard stood open and all drawers had been pulled out to the point of almost falling out. Except for some miscellanea, the cupboards looked empty. But there were two pots on the oven, their boiling contents beating hard against the lids, as though determined to escape.

"My… look who woke up," Karin said and clicked her tongue, "Didn't you talk about setting out early? I'm down here since almost an hour already."

According to the clock, it was not even six yet, which seemed early enough and which actually wasn't Karin's time at all, but she has been too hungry and maybe also too perturbed to sleep any longer and so she had already looked for things they could take with them. Things that would not perish too quickly or more importantly hadn't perished already.

"We'll look for food and then we'll go," Sasuke explained.

"I already did and there isn't much there. Only found a bag of rice and a can of anko. Most of the cupboards are empty – and the fridge has a life of its own growing inside." The memory of the colourful mould habitat or much worse perhaps the nasty smell of it, brought a grimace to Karin's face. "Anyway… I'm cooking the rice now."

With a sceptical look on her face, Sayuri went to the oven and peered into one of the pots, asking, "You're making breakfast for us?"

"Yeah… for _us_…" Karin said, looking like she had just bitten into something sour. She did not like that one at all. "Oh well, be my guest."

"Thank you," Sayuri said, wondering why it was so easy to say thank you for these little things, but not for the big ones. Not for the things that really mattered.

"Whatever," Karin shrugged. "There's no coffee here, but I found some tea. Only barley tea, though."

Which wouldn't be all that effective, when it came to revitalising their spirits, but it was better than nothing.

"Tea will do," Sasuke said graciously.

"It better should," Karin snubbed. He should be glad that she shared her breakfast at all. How did the saying go 'the early bird catches the worm'? – There's never anything about 'and passes it on to someone else'…

* * *

><p>The day was still young and the sun's dimmed rays cast a soft light upon the tens of thousands of people, who had all assembled in the barren region before Kumo Gakure. They were standing in more or less orderly files, ordered by their squad and now all waiting to hear the words of their commanders before going to war.<p>

Despite the early hour, the air was charged with electricity, almost too much it seemed. The excitement turned into negative energy and people were beginning to lose sight of the enemy they were about to fight very soon now, and instead directed their penned up emotions at each other. Mistrusting each other, rekindling old feuds, sometimes dating back to days long before their birth, losing sight of the bigger picture – the fact that they were all here together to fight for a common goal: survival.

Like most of the Hyûga, Hinata was a part of the Second Division, which had specialised in short-range attacks. Their commander was Kitsuchi, a shinobi from Iwa Gakure, she had never yet seen, much less talked to and she wondered what kind of a person it was that would be in charge of their fates. The fates of quite a lot of people, actually. The Army of the Shinobi Alliance counted roughly eighty thousand people, divided into nine divisions, which meant that every commander was in charge of several thousand people. To Hinata that seemed like far too much responsibility to place on the shoulders of some few selected persons. But then not everyone was like her. There were people who coped perfectly well with the duties of being a leader and grew beyond themselves. She happened to know one such person for sure.

And now standing here, watching the people around her with pearl-like eyes that were renowned for their power and not their beauty, Hinata couldn't help but wonder if she couldn't find Naruto anywhere amidst the vast crowd. Somewhere upfront, perhaps, or at the spot where there was the greatest commotion. He always seemed to be in the centre of everything, like the sun if you will. He certainly was occupying a place in her life that was as important as that of the sun. But after what happened she was no longer sure if he was willing to maintain that role or eclipse her world in hopeless darkness. She couldn't know for sure, because she hasn't seen him since _that_ day. And so she was looking for him now, despite knowing that he wasn't here, but at a safe place, not even knowing what was going on. Still it was hard to imagine that there was anything that could keep him away from here. Keep him from risking his life for the sake of everyone else, the way he always did.

But not this time. For a change it was them who would fight to protect him and not the other way around. She was not a born leader and not particularly courageous either- hell, she was scared out of her wits! But for his sake – for the sake of the boy who never gave up – Hinata would fight. She would first fight to save his life and then she would fight to gain back his trust. And she would gain it back. After all she never went back on her word.

* * *

><p>It wasn't raining any longer, but it was not <em>not<em> raining either. The humidity was riding the winds in undulating sheets, too fine to make out the single drops. Everything was clammy, from their clothes to their skin – even the stony ground under their feet. It was anything but a pleasant journey, but at least the air was getting warmer, the wind losing some of its chill and the biting edge that had tormented their weather-beaten skin the day before. It was about noon now, which meant that Sasuke's group was on their feet since six hours give or take. And still they had nothing but their intuition to lead the way. Karin hasn't been able yet to make out Madara's location and so they continued moving into the direction of the Land of Hot Water. It brought them closer to the area where the battles would be carried out, at least according to plan, but it couldn't be helped. Where else should you be able to find the leader of the enemy troops if not on the battlefield?

The terrain was very steep and they seemed to be walking straight into that massive grey blanket that was hiding the blue of the sky. Sometimes they walked along dangerously narrow and dizzyingly high paths, winding like snakes around the mountains, whereas other times, like now, they crossed inconspicuous plateaus that seemed harmless enough, at least until you came to the edge and looked down at the pointed rocks littering the distant ground like a petrified pine forest. At least from so high up they looked sharp enough to skewer you, should you have the bad fortune to slip and fall. In reality, however, it would more likely be a collaboration of gravity and the hard stone that would leave you as flat as a pancake, but at least in one piece more or less. The silence accompanying their group allowed for a lot of opportunities of imagining scenarios such as this one.

They had not found any traces and had not encountered a single person until, around early afternoon, the tide turned. They heard voices, rushed and excited and then noise, a sudden bang and then a dull rumbling, like that of a rockslide. It came from farther down, some levels below them. Immediately, the three shinobi dashed towards the edge of the plateau, perching on the ground in the cover of some boulders and staring down into the depth, trying to assess the situation without being caught while doing so.

"What's going on there?" Sasuke asked his former team-mate, as his eyes failed to see anything other than the faint mist of rain and some more solid mist, like a cloud gone astray in the depths of the valley.

"I'm not sure," Karin murmured, her forehead furrowed in concentration. "I can sense three shinobi-no wait, now only two. But they seem to belong together."

"And what about the enemy?" Sayuri asked. She was crouching right next to Karin and now received an irritated look from the redhead.

"That's what I mean, I can't sense one. There's only those two and still they seem to be fighting _something_."

"That doesn't make much sense," Sasuke remarked and was now the next target for Karin's irritation.

"Really? Don't say…" she remarked dryly, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe they walked into a trap?" Sayuri suggested.

"And now they're fighting it? – Hardly," Karin dismissed her idea and focused her full attention on the scene below them again, using the chakra-signatures she could sense to create a picture in front of her mind's eye, but it remained incomplete. She was missing something quite essential. "Just one more left… Something's fishy about this."

The three of them stared hard into the depth, eyes narrowed and brows wrinkled with concentration, trying to somehow see through the fog and through the mystery at what was going on below them. Trying to find out if it mattered to them at all. And so they lay there, all caught up in their fruitless musings, when suddenly a shadow fell over them and a brigade of white spiders crawled across the rock.

"Katsu!"

* * *

><p>"<em>Is there any place you want to go to? Any special wishes?"<em>

"_Hmm… I'd like to go somewhere nice…" Yuumei whispered, feeling foolish for her answer, not only because it sounded so terribly childish, but also because deep down inside her she was convinced that such a place didn't exist. Or no longer existed. Not for her anyway._

"_That should be manageable," Isamu laughed, "just about every place is nicer than the snake's labs."_

_**Snake's labs?**_

_She had no idea what he was talking about. They've been on the road together since a whole week now and they had often mentioned things, they apparently assumed her to know about, when she really had no idea, but tried not to let it show. Maybe she should come clean with them, but she was too afraid they'd leave her behind, when they knew that she wasn't like them after all. When they knew she hasn't been truthful about her age. When they knew she was not the same kind of fugitive as they were and that these men haven't really been after her._

_She couldn't tell them and so she reacted like she always did, by lowering her head and avoiding their eyes. _

"_Hey. It's okay; we're out of there now." He tried to encourage her and put a hand on her shoulder._

"_No," she hissed and pulled back as though she had been burnt, but in that moment a searing pain shot through her arm. "Ngh."_

"_Hey? What's wrong?" Senkai asked her calmly, reaching his hand out to her reflexively, but then he dropped it on half way._

"_Nothing."_

_**There is no pain, there is no pain…**_

_But she felt it clearly. Something was definitely wrong with her arm. It felt like it was drying up, as if her blood had been squeezed out of it and instead of healing, it became worse from day to day._

"_Isamu?" Senkai turned to his comrade, seeking help as to how to deal with this situation._

"_Well, if the rude girl says it's nothing, then it is nothing." There was a sulky scowl on his face that quickly gave way to a grin, though. "Let's go somewhere nice then."_

…

…


	27. An old enemy

Hey guys, I'll be on holiday the coming weeks, so I won't be able to update during that time. Wish you all a nice summer and great vacation to those who go away =)

* * *

><p><strong>27. An old enemy<strong>

It was one of these typical, insipid mornings. The sun was shining with just the right degree of warmth. The few scattered clouds dotting the sky promised a bright day with only a slight chance of rain. It was the kind of dull, average day that usually went by without leaving any tracks in the great book of world history.

Usually.

Exceptions indeed prove the rule. Here, on this inconspicuous day, at this inconspicuous stretch of barren land at the border of the Land of Lightning, Kitsuchi's Second Division had assembled, ready for a fight, when there was no enemy in sight yet. At least not to people with the limited abilities of a normal pair of eyes. Kekkei Genkai activated, the Hyûga of the Second Division were standing at the front line, monitoring the movement of the enemy underground, almost under their very feet already. Their sheer number was outrageous, to the point of being ridiculous. Especially with regards to the fact that these tens of thousands of beings were perfectly identical and not quite human. An army of humanoid clones. There was no telling what these creatures were capable of, but since they belonged to Uchiha Madara's cadre, it was already a certainty that there was more to them than their mere number. They had to be strong, ruthless fighters and maybe it was something about their similarity and the way they moved in single file deep beneath the face of the earth; it had to be some of these factors that made it hard to think of them as independent individuals who would care to preserve their own lives. They would fight with all they had – regardless of the consequences.

"Doton users, step forward!" Kitsuchi ordered in his booming voice, giving hand signals like a coach in a game of sports, only that this was about as far away from a simple game as could be. There had to be thousands of people above ground, not to mention how many there were underneath it and yet it was so still that you could have heard a feather drop. It was the calm before the storm. That one breathless moment before things got started; a moment that seemed endless and yet fleeting all the same; the usual criteria just didn't do justice to it. The air was charged with tension and vigour, a tiny spark would suffice to ignite the whole scene.

"Get ready," Kitsuchi raised his hand, once the Doton-users had all assembled at the edge of the cliff, waiting for his signal. "NOW!"

Without wasting but a single second the Earth-Element-users, Kitsuchi included, brought their hands to the ground, screaming, "_Doton: Kaido Shôkutsu_!"

There was a low rumble, a very brief one, and then the earth gaped open, rocketing upwards, a new mountain appearing out of nowhere. It shot into the height and then, out of its peak, the enemies erupted, shooting high into the air with great speed and force, like falling rocks.

"Attack!" Kitsuchi ordered, even before the first could hit the ground and at once his Second Division launched at the enemy, hoping that chance, their skills and motivation would make up for what they were lacking in number. There were just so many of them, Neji thought if he managed to survive this, he would also survive marriage. Or deciding that there would be no marriage.

And so the war begins with a bang.

* * *

><p>"Katsu!" Was the last thing they heard before a series of eardrum-splitting explosions left them half-deaf, but at least not half-dead. Even before their heads had fully registered what was going on, their bodies had already moved away out of sheer instinct and the rest has been done by the force of the shock waves that hauled them every which way. The result was that Sasuke, Sayuri and Karin had been thrown into different directions and were now diving, tumbling, rolling and falling away from the new blasts that shook the ground under their feet. Amidst the noise and confusion they quickly lost sight of each other, but just now that was the least of their concerns. All their thoughts rotated around dodging the explosive missiles that fell from the sky like ripe apples from a tree.<p>

But there was no tree.

None of them had noticed the presence of an enemy, not even Karin, but now here they were, slithering like snakes through craters in the terrain that have not been there only seconds ago, while they were spattered by a rain of mud and smoke obscured their sight. Deaf, blind, disoriented and alone – this surprise attack could surely be regarded as a success, which put them in quite a plight. Too occupied were they with somehow not getting killed and at best not wounded either, to even think of a way to counter it or identify the perpetrator.

"Now this is true art, un," Deidara snickered, as he stood at a safe distance on top of his clay owl, beholding the sight of his latest creation. How could anyone seeing this not acknowledge his art?

_Art is eternal beauty._

Yeah right… Is it not true that a flower blooms the prettiest, the moment before it withers? Wouldn't it be a shame to stand by and watch it decay into a dry brown lump instead of preserving its beauty the moment it is greatest and treasuring it forever in memory? And what better way is there to celebrate its transition from this world into the netherworld than with a proper bang? That Sasori no Danna really was a philistine through and through. He wondered if his former partner had been brought back as well. Maybe this second time round he could finally teach him to appreciate what true art is. _His_ art.

The Akatsuki reached into his bag and pulled out a fistful of clay. The mouth in his palm at once set about to chewing it in order to infuse it with his explosive chakra.

"Chew thirty times and then…" He opened his palm and watched his mouth spit out a tiny figurine of white clay. A smile crept up on his face and again he snickered about his own wittiness. He had decided on the shape of a roach, which seemed only fitting to him. From up here they really did look like mere roaches, milling around in a brainless zigzag. And roaches were said to be persistent. It's not enough to just stomp on them and have them escape through the treads of your shoes. He would blast them away for good and send everything around with them for good measure. He'd eradicate every last shred of them with a bang even louder and grander than the one that had marked the end of his life. Although that one has been pretty legendary as well. But he'd write history here by doing the impossible and killing his killer, that rotten Uchiha brat, years after the day of his death. Then no one would ever again dare to ridicule his art – the beauty of explosion.

But there was no hurry. The dead had time. First, he would indulge in a little game of cat and mouse. He wanted to see the fear and the despair on their faces, before he would redeem them by ending their pitiful existence and turning them into a part of his creations.

With a satisfied smirk on his face, Deidara opened his arms wide, like a saint giving salvation. The clay-cockroach fell out of his hand and at once multiplied into hundreds of perfectly identical copies. It were more than enough to cover the plateau of this mountain his victims were huddling on. Though he could not see them, for smoke in a heavy dark grey was blocking his sight, he still knew they were there. He could sense their despair. It seemed to take ages until his C1-roaches, whose explosive force was only enough to mangle his opponents a little and not immediately kill them, finally reached the dense wall of smoke and plucked little holes into it, before vanishing from his sight. Deidara waited another second and then raised his hand, doing a single handed version of the tiger seal, screaming "Katsu!"

He scrunched his shoulders, bracing himself for the noise of the detonations, so they wouldn't catch him by surprise, but what really did surprise him then was not the noise of the explosions, but the lack of it. Something had gone wrong…

"What the-?" Deidara cursed and squinted his eye. Very slowly, the smoke was beginning to clear away and he could now see jagged flashes of pale blue lightning dance across it as though it were a thunder cloud. "Raiton, huh?"

He had almost forgotten that the Uchiha had an affinity for lightning elemental chakra. Not that it would help him in the long run.

* * *

><p>Of the thousands of civilians who set out to be evacuated, Sayuri was not the only one who never reached the evacuation hall, she has been assigned to visit. However the reasons for that couldn't be any more different… While Sayuri has been kept from reaching the hall by force, this other person was not. It was quite the opposite…<p>

After having been on a break from official duties for the past couple of months, due to having sustained a broken leg earlier in the year, Rock Lee has been declared unfit to enter the battlefield. It did not come as a surprise, though as a disappointment no less. His team-mates prepared him that, seeing as he was not fully recovered yet, no doctor in the village would give him green light. Furthermore, Tenten assured him that there was no shame in putting one's own health first. His sensei and also idol, Maito Gai, also had some words of encouragement for him. He told him not to be impatient, for in the future there would be enough occasions for him to put his strength and courage into the service of Konoha Gakure. He did not sound happy when saying this. Neji did not say anything at all.

Despite knowing it was useless, Lee had attended the medical check-up, only to be told after a short look at his clinical record that he was not fit to fight. But Lee was of a different opinion.

In the end it were neither Tenten's, nor Gai-sensei's words and not those of the doctors either that got to him; it was Neji's silence instead. Neji's silence that told him what he already knew and that was that there was no excuse for leaving one's comrades in the lurch.

That is why Rock Lee never reached the evacuation hall either. He sneaked away unseen and headed out to Kumo Gakure, Maybe he wasn't in perfect physical shape, but if there was even the slightest thing he could do for his people, than his decision was surely justified. He'd have nothing to regret.

* * *

><p>To his shame, Sasuke had to admit that it had taken him uncommonly long to react, but to his defence, it happened rarely enough that someone was able to catch him off guard like that. Actually this was no real defence, but another thing to be ashamed of. But at least he had reacted before any of them could get hurt. Or so he thought at least. With all the smoke, he could see no more of his female companions than their chakra signatures, his Sharingan enabled him to see. Their chakra was still strong and flowing without interruptions, but that didn't necessarily mean they had not sustained any form of injury. Only that they were not mortally wounded and still in possession of all their body-parts, which was a start.<p>

The lightning bolts of his Chidori Nagashi were flashing like a blue, insubstantial dome all around them and over their heads. The electricity helped to disintegrate the smoke into its molecules and so Sasuke could soon spot the shady silhouettes of the two women, becoming clearer and clearer by the second. Sayuri was crouching on the ground to his right, seeking cover under a ledge of the mountain. Karin had pressed herself against a boulder, her arms covering her head. Sasuke, too, had crouched down as the explosions had started, to pose as small a target as possible, but now that he felt like he had eliminated every possible danger, he rose to his full height. His blood red eyes went up to the sky. Whether the sight that was offered to him surprised him or not was impossible to tell. As usual his face gave away nothing of what went through his mind. But it sure enough made for a good enough reason to be surprised to see a man you killed alive and well. Moreover bent on exacting vengeance, which was a bad combination. Though not necessarily so… The dead couldn't just rise from their graves. There had to be a trick to it. Some kind of jutsu… and every jutsu had its weakness. However, to find it, he would first have to understand what was going on and so far he didn't.

Still the sight of the supposedly dead Akatsuki did not unsettle the young Uchiha. He killed him before and he would kill him again. Trick or no trick. Though quite frankly dealing with Deidara again did not fit into his time schedule at all. He had more important things to attend to, which meant he would end this quickly. No fooling around, no playing it safe, no showing off. He needed to think about his son. Mikan was more important than old grudges – especially old grudges that were already settled, as far as he was concerned.

The smoke was gone now entirely and there was no more doubt that it really was Deidara of the Akatsuki. Deidara who was burnt to ashes by his Amaterasu. The jutsu he used, his chakra signature – even the smug look on his face – it all fitted. Whether it made any sense or not (which it didn't!) he was back.

"So we meet again," Deidara called out. There was a none too faint edge of smugness in his voice. You could tell he was excited. "Surprised to see me, Sasu-!"

The Akatsuki was cut off in the middle of his taunting speech and had to navigate his clay owl higher into the air, as the Uchiha formed his lightning elemental chakra into a metre-long spear and lashed out at him. He missed by a hand's breadth only.

"I wasn't finished you-" Again he had to swerve to the right and then simply flew higher. "-You wretched Uchiha!"

"Like I care," Sasuke said and let his Chidori spear vanish. There was no point in wasting any more chakra, since Deidara was flying now well beyond his reach and he doubted he'd be foolish enough to change that. Especially since his strong point were long-distance attacks – a style Sasuke wasn't entirely uncomfortable with either.

He turned around to check on his female companions again, now that his sight was clear. "Sayuri, Karin, stay back and don't interfere." Although he had said both their names, Sasuke's eyes had been focused on Sayuri while saying this. When he carried on, however, he was clearly looking at Karin. "Keep an eye on the surroundings."

"Yes," Karin replied quickly, so caught off guard by the situation that she even forgot her usual sarcasm. Not like it mattered, though, since in the end she always did what he asked of her. Nevertheless, it left her feel a little better to share her opinion on the matter.

"I'll take care of him."

"Tze – take care of me?" Deidara snorted and looked straight into Sasuke's eyes. The loathed Sharingan… "Don't you want to ask me what I'm doing here?"

"It doesn't matter. I'll send you back to hell anyway."

"Cocky aren't we? It won't be like last time. You don't stand a chance."

These damn indifferent Uchiha – they were all the same! They wouldn't even recognise a true piece of art when you threw it into their faces. And throwing it in his face was what he was about to do. The thought made him snicker.

"Not really," Sasuke shrugged with the very indifference Deidara had been referring to and that which now caused his short-lived good mood to vanish in an instant. "You're already under my Genjutsu."

"Wha-" But he didn't get any farther. Suddenly, it was as though the world froze. He could hear nothing but the beating of his own heart and just once, but it sounded so loud and pervasive, as though there was an amplifier attached to it. If it carried on beating afterwards he couldn't tell, because all he could focus on was the familiar pattern of the Sharingan. He could see it like a translucent apparition in the air all around him and he could see the solid original in Sasuke's face, approaching him quickly as the Uchiha leaped into the air, closing the distance between them. And he couldn't budge.

"Damn-" Deidara pressed out through gritted teeth, which was about all he could manage, apart from having his eyes open wide as he saw a flickering orb of bluish light appear around Sasuke's hand. The chirping of excited birds filled his ears. Sasuke altered the shape of his Raiton chakra into that of a lance and within a single second it cut through both the clay owl and its owner, bisecting them right through the middle.

As his target gaped apart, he deactivated his Chidori and the birds fell quiet. Without the slightest sound, Sasuke's feet met the ground again. A second later four consecutive thuds followed.

"That was quick," Sayuri murmured and ventured to approach her boyfriend, although he hadn't explicitly given his okay yet. She cast a sceptical look at the two pieces that used to make up one actually very dangerous Akatsuki. The way he was now, he did not look dangerous at all. Being dead hasn't had a favourable effect on his abilities and it didn't suit him now either, that much was clear. But how had he been able to cross the border between the land of the dead and the living in the first place? It didn't make much sense, did it? Was it one of Madara's tricks? If so, then apart from the first second of shock, it hasn't been all that impressive…

"So what was this now?" Sayuri asked and turned her back on the now definitely dead or still dead Akatsuki again.

"There are no disruptions in our chakra. It's no Genjutsu," Karin explained.

"And it was definitely Deidara's jutsu, so it can't have been a clone or transformation jutsu," Sayuri said and looked at Sasuke, who closed his eyes and gave a slight nod, affirming her assumption. "But then what was he? You killed him, right? How can he be back?"

"…"

The silence and the huge question marks above everyone's heads gave away quite nicely that none of them knew an answer, so Karin at least tried to provide them with a few more pieces of the puzzle and said, "I couldn't sense him. Except when he performed a jutsu it was as though he wasn't even there at all."

And except for an extremely skilled sensor, no shinobi was able to erase their chakra like this. At least she had never yet encountered anyone who was able to slip under her radar while being right in front of her, clearly visible even to her poor eyes.

"That leaves only one option then," Sasuke said vaguely.

"Huh?" Karin frowned, but then the penny dropped, "Oh! I get it!"

"Hn," Sasuke nodded.

Sayuri just looked from one of them to the other, unwilling to admit that she had no idea what these two were referring to. It was probably stupid, but with the way those two understood each other without many words, she felt a bit like an outsider. After all Sasuke and her (and not Sasuke and Karin!) were a couple now since three years. This kind of silent conversation should be reserved to them. And since he hadn't wanted her around in the first place, it kind of stung, but this was hardly the time for a hurt ego and jealousy…

Suddenly a look of alarm appeared on Karin's face and almost simultaneously invaded Sasuke's expression, too.

"But that means-"

Karin didn't get to finish, since another explosion, much stronger in force and too close to evade, struck, hauling them right off the edge of the mountain.

Again, Deidara returned to the living with a bang.

* * *

><p>"<em>What do you want to do once this is over? Once we've gotten rid of them?"<em>

"_Huh?"_

"_Any wishes for the future?"_

_Wishes? Wishes were among the rather numerous things she didn't like to think about. Anything concerning the past or the future was a taboo to her._

"_People who reduce their desires, who are without seeking or longing are without this trouble."_

"_Eh? Which trouble?"_

"…_uhm…any trouble…"_

"_You're one weird girl…" Isamu frowned at her. "Everyone has wishes. What kind of a life would you lead if you didn't have any?"_

_Well… mine… she thought and tightened her grip on her injured arm, trying to numb the pain there in lieu of a pain that ran much deeper._

"_What is your wish then?"_

"_Mine?" Isamu pointed at his chest, looking excited from one moment to the next. "I want to have wings."_

"_Wings?"_

_What a silly wish, she thought, but then he was sort of silly, so it fitted. She couldn't have known back then that by having wings he meant being free._

…

…


	28. Difficulties

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. It was kind of hard to get back into writing, after such a long break, but I hope this new chapter turned out alright and you'll enjoy reading it =)

Thank you for your patience.

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><p><strong>28. Difficulties <strong>

This time around at least two-thirds of them have almost been prepared for another attack; at least it hadn't come entirely out of the blue and yet they haven't been as lucky about evading it as that first time. The explosion did not hit them directly, which was something at least, but the force of it and the flying rubbish were bad enough. Sasuke was the only one who managed to evade it all more or less untouched. Sayuri and Karin, however, did not fare quite as well. They did not manage to escape, nor did they manage to hold their ground against the invisible but all too solid shock wave, created by the explosion. Consequently they fell to the ground and were shoved to the edge of the mountain. Karin went over the edge first, and Sayuri would have doubtlessly followed, had she not been so lucky as to have a rock in the way, which, upon collision, knocked all air out of her lungs, but that was still better than falling into the depth.

Coughing and gasping for air, Sayuri struggled to get a grip on herself. She looked towards Sasuke, who met her eyes briefly, a look of warning clearly visible in his blood red Sharingan. Then he focused his full attention on Deidara again, who, in that moment, initiated his next attack. The ground shook and a drizzle of stones rained into the depth.

"Karin!" Sayuri called out, as she couldn't spot the other woman and hastily moved to the edge of the cliff. Peering down she half expected to see a splotch of red on the distant ground, but such was not the case. She did see something red, but it was closer than expected and to her relief it had nothing to do with blood, except for sharing its colour.

"What are you waiting for?! Help me up!" Karin screamed and clung desperately to a protruding piece of rock, only about half a metre below the edge of the mountain. The stones were slick with rain and she was beginning to lose her hold. Even her perfect chakra control did little to help her at the moment. You could tell from her face that she knew so and knew that she would likely not survive a fall from such a height. It was rare to see such a blatant look of fear on her face.

Without giving much thought to it, Sayuri wrapped her legs around the rock that had acted as a life-saver for her before. Hopefully it would now also help her save Karin's life and not have them both soar down and end up as nothing but ugly stains on the ground.

"Here! Take my hand!" Sayuri leaned as far over the edge as she dared and reached out to the redhead, but it wasn't enough.

"Come closer! Damn it!" Karin screamed, her head now as red as her hair.

"I can't," Sayuri pressed out and tried her best to stretch herself and get just a tiny little bit closer to Karin. She was already lying flat on the ground, her face pressed against the mud-covered stones, but it was still not enough. "You have to do something, too!"

"Pfft," Karin snorted, unable to think of a witty reply right now. Instead she clenched her jaw, took up all her courage and released the hold of her right hand on the rock, which right now made the difference between being alive and being dead. She pulled it back and then swung it upwards with all her might, trying to ignore the way her remaining hand slowly slipped from the wet rock. As her hand then closed around Sayuri's fingers that became a little easier.

"Got you!" the violet-haired kunoichi exclaimed triumphantly, though a good deal of strain was also detectable in her voice or would have been, were the noise of the explosions in the background not too loud for that.

"Don't you dare let go! You hear?!"

"I don't intend to – stop fidgeting for cripes' sake!" Sayuri barked and already saw herself slip over the edge, as Karin began pulling at her hand with her full strength.

"Pull me up!"

"I can't! You're too heavy!"

"Heavy?! Who do you call heavy?!" Karin griped, her mouth stretched into a thin line, as though she had just bitten into a lemon.

"That's not-ugh!" Sayuri cried out, as Karin resolutely grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled herself up. Then she just crawled over her back, like she was some kind of door mat, while every last bit of her body was now pressed into the mud.

"Phew," Karin sighed, as she crawled off Sayuri's back, a good distance away from the cliff. And there she knelt now on all fours, trying to catch her breath and recover from the shock. She was safe. For the moment…"That was close…"

"Yeah… you're welcome Karin," Sayuri grumbled and sat up. Cautiously she touched the top of her aching head, feeling for any bald spots. It was hard to tell with the mud, but it used to feel fuller up there…

"Oh, don't go for gratitude," Karin snapped, "I'm here to help you find your son. As if you would have pulled me up if I wasn't of any use to you."

"Of course I would," Sayuri exclaimed. Judging from that doe-eyed look of hers, Karin actually believed her. Damn these Konoha-softies…

"Whatever," she shrugged and focused her attention on the fighting men, when Sayuri addressed her again.

"But that makes us even now."

"_Even_?" Karin frowned.

"You saved my life, I saved yours."

So that's how it is, Karin thought with a sneer. So she was not quite as selfless after all… What do you know?

"We're nowhere near even… but if it makes you feel better…" Karin replied graciously. It's not like there was any way for the other woman to clear her debt with her. Not in this lifetime at least, so it didn't matter anyway.

"Will he need our help?" Sayuri asked, her grey-blue eyes glued to Sasuke's small form again. He was a fair distance away from them and she was sure he had intended to lure Deidara as far away from them as he could, even though that meant he had to fight him all by himself, which was no doubt what he wanted, but was it really clever?

"You tell me," Karin said and clicked her tongue, "You know him better than I do."

"I don't even get what's going on," Sayuri said and tensed visibly, as she watched Sasuke only barely escape a shower of rocks, resulting from a succession of explosions. But Sasuke was quick. He would not let himself be offed by a stupid rock. No need for her to worry… "Why is Deidara alive again?"

"What are you, stupid? It's Edo Tensei. Geeze…"

"_Edo Tensei_?" she repeated, "But wasn't that one of Orochimaru's jutsu?"

"Exactly. It allows the user to summon dead people from their graves and use them like marionettes and since they are already dead, they can't die again."

"But then what is Sasuke supposed to do?"

"…"

Finally a good question. In fact it was the very question Karin was asking herself at that moment. What was to be done about an opponent that couldn't be killed? Her first idea was of course to incapacitate him, but Deidara wouldn't make it so easy… He was a former Akatsuki agent after all… But what else could they do? There had to be something… There was no such thing as a jutsu without a weakness. Perhaps she could make something out if she only watched him closely.

But then why bother? The outcome of this fight should be of no concern to her. If Sasuke won, she'd be stuck with him and he would drag her into more and more situations such as this one. As long as he still needed her, he would protect her, but once she had outlasted her usefulness to him, she would be left to her own devices; a lonesome, defenceless woman in the middle of a great war. Should Deidara win, however, he would probably target her next and there wasn't really much she could do to oppose him. Or maybe he would consider her as too small a fry to dirty his hands on her. From how she had gotten to know him that was rather unlikely though. He thrived… delighted… _lived_ for senseless destruction. Whatever happened next, her chances of survival were slim. And worst of all she had nothing to do with all this. How come she always ended up being dragged into such shitty situations? How come it always happened when Sasuke was somehow involved? Questions upon questions…

"You heard him; stand back and don't interfere," Karin said soberly, "those two play in a whole different league. All we'd do is get into Sasuke's way. _You_ would, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sayuri asked, irritated frown in place.

"It means just what I say. Now shut up and watch. Maybe we can see something Sasuke doesn't. Anything will do."

"I know that," the Konoha-nin grumbled, but nevertheless did as she was told and focused her full attention on the fight again, on the look-out for that little something that might mean the difference between a once and for all dead Deidara or a dead Sasuke. And a dead them. A dead Mikan, because that is what it would amount to. Right now, Sasuke was the only obstacle that separated them from a most likely painful death. So much responsibility… so much pressure… she really didn't want to be in his shoes.

And yet he fared quite well. As she stood there, watching him, Sayuri couldn't help but feel a certain sense of awe – of _pride_ – about the way Sasuke soared almost effortlessly through the air, flying without a set of wings – neither his own nor loaned ones. He was under constant attack from the Akatsuki and yet he was still unharmed, didn't even seem to have broken a sweat. Like it was nothing out of the ordinary. A piece of cake, so to say.

It's been a while since she had actually seen him fight. Team 7 seemed so far back. Thinking of it felt how she imagined it had to feel like for grown ups to remember their childhood – the good old days. Back then when the sun always shone a little brighter than it did now and when they always laughed a little louder than in the present. A time in which real friendships were formed that lasted through the worst of crises to times spend on verandas and porch swings – a whole life.

This was clearly one of the aforementioned crises, but that's how life went. It wasn't the first and it would not be the last time they had to endure such hardships, but as long as they were granted a break from time to time… whatever the case, it was too early to give up. Especially since Sasuke really did do well. He killed Deidara before and now, too, it was apparent that he was the stronger of them, but how much longer? Unlike Deidara he was mortal and only had a limited amount of chakra at his disposal. The longer this fight dragged on, the more it would put Sasuke at a disadvantage and since they had no idea what to do about Deidara, there was only one possible outcome and that was not in their favour. But Sayuri refused to believe that this was it. If so, then where was the point in fighting? Then they could just as well drop their weapons and bow their heads, so that Deidara could cut them off or blast them away or whatever else he felt like doing. No way this would happen! Their story couldn't just end here. They owed it to their son to survive.

* * *

><p>Sasuke was also aware that time was not on his side and neither was anything else about the circumstances. A quite decisive difficulty was for example the fact that his opponent refused to stay down when he killed him and he did kill him quite a number of times already and that without much of an effort. Since his life was something that couldn't be taken away from him, Deidara didn't even bother to preserve it and instead concentrated on his attacks or maybe on his big mouth. His attacks were rather half-hearted – nothing compared to what he showed during their last fight – a fight which Sasuke nevertheless won, by the way, which might be an explanation for the bad blood between them, why Deidara was so enthralled by playing cat and mouse with him…<p>

And as if that wasn't enough, Sasuke couldn't even fight the way he wanted to, because he always had to pay attention to the two women in the background. He tried his best to relocate the scene of battle as far away from them as possible, but the nature of Deidara's attacks made that a nearly impossible task. Usually it was the Akatsuki who shooed him around. There was no better way of calling it. Sasuke was shooed from one direction into the other. He was constantly on the move, running, jumping, ducking, he couldn't keep still for a second, unless he didn't want to be blown to smithereens.

"It's not much help now, your Sharingan, is it?" Deidara called out and snickered, pleased with himself and the whole situation. Seriously, had he only assumed before that being dead would be anything like this, he would have never clung as desperately to his life as he had. Immortality, invincibility, an unlimited amount of chakra – what more could you ask for? Maybe he should thank Sasuke for giving him a chance to experience this… Oh, he would show him his gratitude by turning him into a piece of his art and his art was an explosion!

It would be too much to say that right on cue an explosion went off, because Deidara had his explosives rain down on Sasuke all the time, not granting him but a second to breathe through. He was only using his weakest form of explosive clay, though. He was enjoying himself far too much, so he didn't want it to end too soon. It did diminish his pleasure, however, that Sasuke hadn't yet sustained a scratch or bruise and much worse still, the Uchiha didn't seem impressed in the least. He had to know that he was fighting a losing battle and yet why wasn't he scared? Why didn't he tremble with fear? Why didn't he go down on his knees and beg for him to spare his life? These Uchiha and their haughtiness… It was about time for him to kick him off his high horse and show him what a true artist is capable of.

Sasuke was standing on the ground beneath him, doused in the shadows of his clay bird, hardly bigger than an especially nasty cockroach – and what did you do about vermin?

"Katsu!" the Akatsuki screamed and watched his archenemy vanish within a dark grey cloud of billowing smoke. He had used a stronger concentration of chakra this time to fool the Uchiha. He knew that he was of the calculating kind, not using a bit more chakra or doing a step, a motion, more than was necessary and he had likely calculated the range of his explosions in the course of their confrontation and he had been mindful to keep it perfectly equal all the time. Now, however, he had widened the perimeter of his explosives by nearly two metres – let's see how he liked that! Deidara couldn't wait for the smoke to finally clear away and reveal to him the stupid look on Mr. Handsome's mangled face. This time he would find out what it took to have the despised Uchiha lose his cool.

"How do you like my art now, huh?"

Instead of a verbal response, Sasuke expressed his thoughts on the matter in form of a huge ball of flame. Deidara navigated his bird aside, an old habit of his past life, which was ultimately redundant now. Just let him hit him! A second of pain was nothing compared to that overwhelming feeling of being brought back again only a second later without the slightest scratch. It was scary how similar to Hidan he felt right now – like a Hidan 2.0 without all that religious crap… And how symbolic, how artistic it would have been, had he first been burnt to embers, only to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes. The symbolic value of that image almost made him want to become religious after all. Maybe next time…

The smoke had cleared now, and Deidara's gaze at once travelled to the spot, where the ball of flame had come from, but there was no one there. He still wasn't fully accustomed to his gift of immortality and so Deidara couldn't keep his heart from picking up its pace (funny that it was still beating at all!) as he lost sight of his enemy.

"Stop hiding you coward!" the Akatsuki screamed and tilted his head from side to side, his eyes scanning the terrain, but there was no one to be seen. There were no sounds either, not even these typical, natural ones, which would appear mighty strange and conspicuous to any other person, but not to Deidara. He had grown used to it. There was something about his presence that made animals shun him, even if they only sensed him from a distance. As though they could feel the explosive force he was able to set free.

"Hey-" he screamed again, impatient, but he didn't get any farther, as suddenly the peak of a blade protruded out of his chest. He looked over his shoulder and stared into a blood red pair of Sharingan. There was not a trace of fear in them and Sasuke's face wasn't quite as mangled as he had imagined it to be. That bastard.

Then, however, it was Deidara's face that ended up being mangled, as Sasuke raised his katana in one swift motion, cutting right trough his face, so Deidara's head gaped apart like a cracked-open oyster, with a bloody mess of a pearl inside. Sasuke's sandaled feet were mired in gore. But then, like every time, the Akatsuki crumbled into a white dust like an ancient piece of parchment upon being exposed to air. His feet were clean again, as was his sword.

The strong wind blew the bits of Deidara away and since he could not know when and where exactly Deidara would appear again, Sasuke leaped off his bird, making the slightest of sounds upon reaching the soggy ground. It would go on like this forever, if he couldn't think of anything to do soon, and unlike his opponent he didn't have forever.

"It's fruitless! Don't you get it?!" Deidara called, back among the living again. "I've forced life and death to their knees. This is Art in perfection, un!"

"For all the nonsense you talk you haven't shown anything yet," Sasuke teased him. Judging from the reaction of the two women in the background, they didn't consider that to be a good idea. "Stop relying on your immortality and fight me for real. Or are you afraid to find out what the year in the grave has done to your strength?"

"Shut up! What do _you_ know, you little shit?!"

"Why so upset? Is it because you almost used up your amount of lives? Let's see what happens after the ninth time, scaredy-cat."

"Shut up you pampered momma's boy," Deidara repeated and watched Sasuke's eyes glaze over with rage, while he himself tried to keep a cool expression, as he pondered Sasuke's last words. Was he just trying to be witty or did he know something he didn't? Was there a limit to the times he could be revived again? Did it have something to do with cats? He had no idea how Edo Tensei worked, only that so far it had. Maybe he shouldn't be quite so careless with his life after all and start getting serious. But what good did it do Sasuke to point that out to him? Was this some kind of mind game? Did he have a plan that required him to initiate an all-out attack?

No. That couldn't be it. Surely he had finally accepted that there was no way for him to win and now he wanted to have this end quickly, so he wouldn't have to suffer any longer. That had to be it!

A smug smile returned to Deidara's face. He would grant the Uchiha his death wish, but it would neither be quick, nor would it be painless.

Deidara leapt off his owl and landed on the ground before Sasuke, his back to the two women. Instead of using it as another explosive, his clay owl soared down and landed by his side, lest he should need to make a hasty escape. His hands dug into the bags of clay at either side of his hip and, still grinning, he said, "Let's see how you like that."

He brought forth both his hands again, his open palms directed at Sasuke. They opened up and vomited a shapeless, white heap.

"Yuck," Karin said. She momentarily blinded herself by taking off her glasses and wiped them clean as a pretext. Her stomach hadn't seen too much today and she was averse to losing that bit again.

"What is this?" Sayuri asked, looking decidedly uncomfortable herself. There was some motion in the so nastily exuded clay now. It welled up like it was boiling, growing and rising, then taking on shapes, faintly reminiscent of humans, misshapen to the point of looking grotesque. They appeared somewhat flabby, knobbly and their unsteady, not to say uncoordinated movements, also added an impression of clumsiness.

Karin put on her glasses again and at once scrunched her nose in disgust. "And he calls himself an artist?"

"Shut up, four-eyes!" Deidara barked and cast an angry glare at the redhead. "Once I'm done here, you're next, un!"

"Pah! I want to see that!" Karin countered and cursed herself for her big mouth. She couldn't ever shut up, could she? Now it really didn't matter what happened now. She was as good as dead either way.

"I'm your opponent." Sasuke tried to get Deidara's attention back. However while he said so, he was not so much looking at Deidara as he was looking at Sayuri, a look of warning in place. It would be best if they just ran away and hid, but he knew that Sayuri would never do that, so they should at least be quiet and act like they weren't there.

"I haven't forgotten about you," Deidara said and turned back around. As he followed the direction of Sasuke's gaze an ominous smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. These girls… he remembered them now. They were there, too, on the day he died. They were not just Sasuke's cheerleaders, but shinobi as well. Not that it would change anything, apart from making him feel no remorse when he dealt with them later on. Not that he would have felt any such thing one way or another… "Let's get started then."

As he said that, his two additional mouths spat out more clay. It ran out of them like a narrow stream of water out of a faucet and flowed right to his clay minions, connecting them to him. Like drunkards they staggered towards Sasuke now, who seemed neither impressed nor disgusted by their sight. If anything he looked bored.

"Tze," he gave a disparaging sound and slashed his lightning-enhanced katana through the closest of the two morbid creatures. He did the same with the second one and then looked at Deidara, whose sneer only widened, although his attack had only just been rendered useless. Some of his brain cells must have sustained damage even Edo Tensei could not mend. He was a retard.

Something struck Sasuke's leg. He had caught the movement in his eye, so he had jumped back just in time to avoid the full hit, but it had still caught him off guard. His face, however, gave away nothing as he watched the heaps of clay seethe and rise again like before, taking on the same shape with the only difference that it were four now. Which he didn't get, though, was why? He had used his raiton chakra to cut through them, which should have defused them, like it was the case with every other of Deidara's attacks, so what was different now? Surely it had to have something to do with the wire-like clay that connected them back to Deidara. As long as he kept running his chakra through them they would rise up, again and again. Like his own Edo Tensei.

All at the same time they charged at Sasuke now, not appearing quite as gawky and uncoordinated as before, now that they were smaller. They moved faster, too. Sasuke had to have his eyes virtually everywhere as to not have them surprise him again and so far he managed to dodge the eight arms and also an abstract number of additional limbs or however else you wanted to call the shapes, clubs or spikes, they could grow out of their bodies at random. He focused on cutting through the chords that kept them supplied with chakra, but right after he severed them, Deidara just reconnected them, so it was a useless endeavour. Accordingly, Sasuke found himself again lashing about himself, slicing his opponents into two, three or four pieces, or trying to use his Chidori in a way that blew them to fragments. The result was that he soon found himself opposed by two dozens of clay creatures, some of which exploded right in his face and though he was still far from being wounded, he could no longer claim to have weathered this fight without a scratch. The problem was not that they were strong or skilled opponents, which these brainless things were not, but their persistency is what nevertheless made them difficult to face. They made him lose time he did not have and furthermore they were forcing him too far back, too close to Sayuri and Karin.

He was doing his best to keep them occupied, despite their constant increase in number, while trying to block out the taunting remarks, streaming out of Deidara's mouth with the fluency of running water. Then happened what Sasuke had been afraid of and what he'd been trying to avoid at all costs. It was a moment of inattention or not even so much. It was a moment in which he was entirely surrounded and for once not in the position of having the upper hand. Being hopelessly outnumbered, Sasuke was not so much attacking as he was parrying the attacks of Deidara's creations. This task so occupied his attention that he only noticed that Deidara's clay owl had abandoned its post at the side of its creator, as it already soared over his head. It did not halt there though, neither did it slow down and it did not explode either, for its intended target was not the Uchiha.

Ultimately it was his concern about his companions, which turned them into his greatest weakness and a skilled fighter would never miss out on making use of that. The owl-shaped explosive paid no heed to Sasuke. The girls standing behind him however didn't seem to share his luck. They had taken on a defensive stance with weapons drawn, ready to either attack or duck away, he couldn't tell which, but he had little faith in their ability to defend themselves. Against an Akatsuki who was proving troublesome even for him, no less. That is why Sasuke wasted no time to rush to their aid. He swung his katana around in a wide circle. The sharp blade sliced through his opponents' torsos like they were made of rice-paper. Cut into halves, they went down for the time being, although Sasuke knew that they would rise again and then he would have to face twice their number, but he's had no other choice. Now that his path was clear, Sasuke spun around and sped after the owl. It had almost reached them already, but he was too far away still to do anything. His right hand was flickering blue with his lightning elemental chakra. Losing time was something he could by no means afford, so once he was close enough, he would be ready to charge. It flew down now. Sasuke pushed his body past its limits to increase his speed and reach it before it could reach the girls, who were now scattering into different directions. The owl began to nosedive, but instead of pursuing one of the girls, it did a looping to reverse its direction. Head over heels, or head over claws, if you will, it darted towards Sasuke, who could do nothing but gaze stupidly, when he already heard his most-hated word.

"Katsu!"

The owl detonated with an eardrum-tattering noise and Sayuri watched in horror how Sasuke was eaten up by a giant cloud of smoke that just would not release him again.

"Sasuke!" His name slipped out of her mouth, without her having intended it to. In fact she didn't even notice. Her senses seemed to have been turned off. All except for her vision and her vision was now tunnelled on the writhing masses of smoke, as she waited for the Uchiha to reappear again. But there was an unnerving successful quality to Deidara's laugh that almost made her doubt he would. So she ran. She was a medic after all and as a medic it was her duty to look after the wounded. Even if that wounded person had forbidden her to. Not that he'd have much of a chance to reproach her, should that explosion have really hit him.

"He's alive! Stay where you are!" Karin shouted and made Sayuri stop dead in her tracks, although every fibre of her being still yearned to reach him. Once the smoke had dissipated, Sayuri understood why Karin had said _alive_ instead of _okay_.

* * *

><p>"<em>How did you end up with this guy?" Senkai asked, shocking her speechless.<em>

_They couldn't know about Kagai. She had never mentioned him – neither him nor any of the things he had done or she had done and as they had met, he's been dead already._

"…"

"_Not speaking, eh?" Isamu sounded annoyed more than anything. He was really outgoing and it seemed his tolerance for silence was rather low, so he usually did whatever he could to fight it, even if it meant giving soliloquies. At times he appeared to her like a hamster in a wheel, running and running without ever getting anywhere and certainly not into a conversation with his reticent fellow travellers._

"_Why do you care?"_

"_What a question," he rolled his eyes, "you're the new one in the group. We already know everything about each other, so how about you bring in some fresh stories?"_

"_I don't know any of **your** stories yet, so why would I tell you anything?"_

"_Tze, fine. It happened as I only became Chunin and returned home from the finals. I was intercepted by the snake himself. He was interested in me because of my chakra and asked me to join him. I refused of course, but woke up in his labs anyway…"_

_Now things were beginning to make sense; they were talking about two different guys, only that they didn't know so. And what were Chunin?_

"_We come from the same village," Senkai began slowly, his head lowered, as he walked down the dark alleys of memory lane. "As Isamu didn't return from the Chunin exams we set out to search him and followed his trace until we reached an underground base. We got separated within the tunnels. It was like a maze… I don't know exactly what happened then, but as I woke up, we were in a prison cell, jammed together with all sorts of people. I don't even know how long we stayed there. It was hell." His voice broke and he lapsed into silence again, lost in thoughts of a time he'd rather not remember._

"_Hm," Isamu ruffled his spiky hair and gave him an encouraging smile, raising a frail copy of it on Senkai's face as well. _

_They seemed really close, almost like brothers, the way Senkai looked up to him. It reminded her a lot of how she used to look up to her sister and strive to be like her._

_The operative word is **used to**. She used to look up to her sister, but she wasn't there so there was no point thinking about it. It couldn't bring her back. None of them. So where was the point in torturing herself?_

"_Now you know our stories, so tell us yours. Tell us why you're here."_

"_I don't see how this is any of your business."_

_She got up and walked out on them, before they could ask her anynthing else. The protesting sounds coming from the two boys didn't go unnoticed though, but she couldn't just tell them._

_Aside from the fact that she has never been in these labs, it sounded far too pathetic, even to her own ears, to tell them that she's just had nowhere else to go to._

…

…


	29. A small victory

**29. A small victory**

Sasuke was down on the ground. His clothes were frayed. His left sleeve has been burned off and revealed charred skin, but the wound did not look all that grave. Far more alarming was the way blood ran out from between his fingers he kept tightly pressed against his head, holding his ears shut. The pained look on his face did not make it better exactly… It looked as though he sustained a ruptured eardrum from the noise of the explosion. Judging from how grave it was (and seeing as he still hadn't gotten up it had to be rather grave) he was in no condition to carry on fighting. She had to help him!

So she was running again. And just in time it seemed, because Deidara started moving as well, slowly striding towards his agonised and currently defenceless opponent, always with that gleeful sneer on his face. Sayuri reached Sasuke first and planted herself before him. Against expectation he did not send her away again. He didn't even raise his head. With his eyes squeezed shut and his ears most likely ringing, he was probably oblivious to what was going on around him. That included her presence, but also the fact that Deidara's clay minions were back on their feet again and had them surrounded now. They tightened their circle, so there was no escaping. Not that there had been any chance for her to get Sasuke out of the way one way or the other. She somehow had to get past these things, which would be tough but probably manageable. Getting past Deidara, however, was a whole different thing.

Sayuri was not granted much time to come up with a strategy, as the explosive marionettes charged forwards. Their target this time was clearly her and not Sasuke. They came at her from all sides, while all she could do was dodge the various limbs and weapon-like extensions of their bodies. She has always been quick and nimble and situations such as this one rarely posed any difficulties to her. She might not be the strongest, but you couldn't defeat someone you couldn't catch. But that was in the past. Right now, however, her body did not move with the speed it used to do and most of the time she could only avoid a direct hit by a hair's breadth. It took her a while to be able to not only recognise but moreover accept the difference between her physical dexterity of the past and that of her current self: a mother and housewife still in the middle of maternity leave. It was frustrating, but hubris might prove fatal, frustrating as that may be…

Like Sasuke, she concentrated on severing the wires, connecting them to the Akatsuki and using punches and kicks to get rid of them, but that way she couldn't possibly defeat them and quite frankly her way of fighting wasn't well-suited for these kinds of opponents. It was a lot like training with wooden dummies. There was a hit from above so she ducked. When they attacked from the sides she either slipped out of the way or parried the attack. Attacks from below she usually jumped over. It seemed to drag on like this for ages, when in reality no more than a minute had passed. A sharp clay spike approached her face. She tried to leap back, but her feet were locked in place and she lost her balance and nearly did a bridge, but caught herself halfway. The spike missed her and once the coast was clear, she stood up straight again and used a shuriken to sever the wire that kept her attacker supplied with chakra. Then she looked down and saw that one of the clay things clutched her foot and now began tugging at it to make her fall. Without batting a lid she stomped on the creature's arm to make it let go and then delivered a swift kick against its head. Lucky for her, she had first freed her foot, because the clay minion exploded. Had it hit her with full force she'd be a goner now, close as it had been, but since she had been able to get at least a couple of metres between herself and the source of the explosion she was only left with some bruises and a set of ringing ears. And that explosion hasn't even been nearly as great as the one that had hit Sasuke.

A quick glance to the side showed Sayuri that he was still on the ground clutching his head, but had at least straightened himself. Karin was with him now. Hopefully, she could buy the redhead enough time to heal him.

"Boo-ooring…." Deidara drawled and received an angry glare by the violet-haired kunoichi. All it did was make him smirk. "I don't have all day – let's get this over with," he said and raised his hand, "Katsu!"

The clay explosive closest to her detonated, setting off a chain reaction. One by one they all exploded, while Sayuri could think of nothing to do but letting herself fall to the ground and shielding her head. The ground shook from the fury of the explosions. There seemed to be no end to them. And although she did not sustain any physical damage, at least nothing worth mentioning, the mere noise of the explosions was torturous. She didn't know what exactly happened then, for she had done her best to keep her eyes and ears shut, but at some point the world was quiet again, but for a continuous peeping sound.

Sayuri forced herself to open her eyes again and reluctantly lowered her hands and raised her head. What she saw then made her wish she hadn't. She was no longer surrounded by these white clay creatures. Instead there was Deidara now, standing next to just one of these things, but that one was even more grotesque and hideous than the previous ones and was most likely a result of them having fused into one being of enormous size. It had to be at least four metres high and had three heads like Cerberus, but only one eye. Otherwise it very much resembled its predecessors, but its sheer height made it look even more gawky and clumsy. When that thing went off there wouldn't be much left of them – Deidara included – but she somehow doubted he'd mind …

"Any last words?" Deidara asked with an air of condescension, but then his sneer was wiped off his face as he was simply swiped away like a bothersome fly and then picked up by a huge hand, which was surrounded by a violet sphere of light. Despite the surprise, Sayuri was quick to react and threw a handful of shuriken at the wire that kept Deidara and his clay creature connected, successfully defusing it, before the Akatsuki had a chance to set it off and blow them all away. Feeling at least a bit at ease, Sayuri dared to look over her shoulder.

"Sasuke!" She heaved a relieved sigh about seeing him back on his feet, surrounded by one of his strongest jutsu: Susanoo. At least a part of it. The Uchiha stood in the middle of its ribcage. It had only a single, skeleton arm on its right side and that one had Deidara in its clutches now. The Akatsuki was cursing and struggling, but to no avail. He was trapped like a sardine in a can.

"Way to go!" Sayuri cheered, despite knowing that this was only a temporary solution and a very brief one at that. Sasuke's chakra was limited and what they were supposed to do then, they couldn't tell.

"Get away from there," Sasuke ordered and glared at her. His eyes were bloodshot already. He would not be able to keep this up much longer and then they'd have the same problem all over again. It was exasperating.

"Move," he hissed as she did nothing but stand there and stare at him like they had all the time in the world. She had no idea what the Mangekyou was like to its user. It wasn't only the eyes that were strained to the point of bursting, but his entire body felt like he was being torn into shreds. Ironically enough it also made him feel mighty powerful and somehow more… _alive_.

"Uh-huh," Sayuri nodded quickly and leapt back to stand beside Karin. It was easier to hide the trepidation that had smitten her upon seeing the Mangekyou Sharingan when she did not have to look into it.

"Let go of me, you son of a bitch!" Deidara cursed and struggled in vain against the relentless hold of Sasuke's Susanoo. "Once you run out of chakra it's over! Then I'll crush you all! You hear, you little shit?!"

"Oh shut up you… you _worm_," Karin spat. Then she turned back to the others and said in a more resigned tone, "He's right though. We're running out of time."

Being a sensor, she was probably even more keenly aware of that fact than anyone else of their group, Sasuke included. She could practically see his chakra resources dwindle away at an alarming speed. A few more minutes, perhaps, and then he'd reach a critical state. Then he'd either succumb to having depleted his chakra or he'd be struck down by Deidara's wrath. Whatever the case, once Sasuke went down, the two of them would be next. Damn it all!

"You're first, you red-haired hag!"

"_Hag_?!" Karin repeated, incredulous. "Who do you call hag, Barbie boy?! Just wait till I get my hands on you!"

"Enough now," Sasuke interrupted the redhead before she could fully lose her temper. She was already rolling up her sleeves, so he called her back before she could cause any more trouble.

"Tell _him_! He's the one who started this!" Karin reasoned like a child and pointed at Deidara, whose head was beet-red now, as he was trying to use pure, physical strength to break out of Susanoo's hold. A fruitless endeavour.

"It doesn't matter," Sasuke said. You could tell by the slight quaver in his voice how much effort it cost him to keep his Mangekyou activated. The blood streaming out of his left eye underlined that fact quite nicely. "Now go."

"_What_?!" Sayuri and Karin repeated simultaneously and stared with wide eyes at the Uchiha.

"What do you mean _go_?" Sayuri asked.

"You two go ahead and search Mikan. This'll take a while. I'll catch up with you later."

"_Later_?" she furrowed her brows, "Nonsense! You have no idea what to do about him. We'll stay here with you."

"That's enough of you," Sasuke hissed and Sayuri was surprised at how icy his voice sounded. No longer cool and reserved as it did before. "You do as I tell you. No discussion."

"Exactly. I'm not gonna discuss about this," she replied and folded her hands before her chest like a stubborn child.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your little dispute, but someone's joining us," Karin said. Immediately the mood shifted from tension to utter devastation. There really was no such thing as luck for them, was there?

"What?! Who?" Sayuri asked and followed Karin's eyes to the rock face behind them. Sasuke's eyes wavered briefly from his enemy as well, but then he made his Susanoo tighten its grip, as compensation for his little neglect, so to say. Just not too tight, because he didn't want to risk killing him again. He'd have to rely on the two of them to act like his eyes. But could they also act as a defence? And not even for him but for themselves…

"Not an enemy," Karin said, still with her eyes closed and the fore- and middle finger of her right hand raised before her nose. An almost palpable sense of relief washed away some of the previous tension that had followed her last words, so she was quick to add, "I think so at least…"

"Keep him there! Don't let him get away!"

They perceived a male voice and only two or three seconds later they could spot its owner. It was a ninja dressed in the typical flak jacket of Suna Gakure. On his back, he was carrying a huge scroll of white cloth that was almost half his size. He slid down the still moist rocks and rushed their way, while reaching for the giant scroll.

"I don't plan to," Sasuke pressed out through gritted teeth, not quite able to feel any excitement about their apparent back-up. What could a single, random ninja possibly do after all?

"Release him the moment I tell you to!"

"Release him?" Karin repeated with a look of shock on her face. "Are you nuts?! This is an Akatsuki!"

"Just do it!"

"Yeah! Do it, un!" Deidara reinforced the Suna-nin, who had almost reached him now, that suicidal fool.

"NOW!" he screamed, and Sasuke did not waste but a single second to deactivate this so excruciating jutsu of his. And their timing seems to have been perfect. The moment Susanoo loosened its hold, Deidara vanished in a tight cocoon of the white cloth from the scroll the Suna-nin carried with him and was thus immobilised. But even that was not enough to make him shut up, although it made his angry curses unintelligible at least.

"Got him!" The Suna-nin exclaimed and dashed towards the cocoon. He slammed a paper tag onto it, out of which streamed lines of symbols like ants out of an anthill and surrounded the cocoon like chains. Now that this was done, the man wiped a hand across his damp forehead and heaved a deep sigh, which suggested that he too had not been altogether convinced of the success of his plan. "Phew…" he turned around to them and examined the sceptical-looking group, "As long as the seal remains intact he's harmless."

"And that's it?" Karin asked with a frown, although she was the one who should know it best. After all she could clearly sense that Deidara's chakra was confined to the limits of the cocoon surrounding him, which allowed not even the tiniest bit to leak out. He was hermetically sealed, so to say, but after all the difficulties they've had with him, it was kind of hard to believe how effortlessly this random ninja had dealt with the immortal Akatsuki.

"Yes," he nodded, "we'll just have to guard him until the back-up squad arrives. They'll take care of everything else."

"Hmpf," Karin gave a non-committal sound, still with that sceptical frown in place, as though she just waited for Deidara to burst out of his prison and blast them to nirvana.

"That was close, huh?" Sayuri said as she approached Sasuke, her eyes scanning his body for the tiniest scratch or bruise. She needn't search long. His body was littered with cuts and scrapes, a narrow trail of blood was running out of his left eye and an especially nasty-looking laceration above his brow gave her valid reason to worry. He did not appear to be faring too well. Karin may have healed him enough to carry on fighting, but he was nowhere close to being okay.

"Are you alright?" Sayuri asked nevertheless and at once let her skilled fingers wander gingerly across Sasuke's face to help her assess the damage done by the Akatsuki and remedy it. She was not just slightly caught off guard as Sasuke caught her by her wrist and pushed her hand down with mild force.

"What did you think you were doing there?" he asked, but Sayuri neither understood his question, nor did she understand the reason for the angry look in his eyes, when this should be a time of relief. They had won.

"What do you mean?" is what she asked thus and watched the Uchiha close his eyes impatiently, as though he needed to contain himself.

"I told you to stay out of everything and run away if necessary."

"But I had to! You-"

"You had to?!" he interrupted her angrily, "He could have killed you without batting a lid!"

"But if I hadn't done anything he would have killed you instead."

"That's not the point."

"It is!" She was the one to interrupt him this time. "Remember what you said? Who do you think matters more? If there is one person who can save our son that's you. You need to get through no matter what." She pulled her hand out of his grip, while her blatant words left Sasuke speechless. Never would he have imagined what an impact these words, uttered in a fit of temper, would have on her. What he had wanted was to protect her and not make her feel useless and squash her self-confidence under his feet. "Besides, I'm a ninja, too. Have some faith in me." She gave him a soft smile, as though no bad words had been exchanged between them and again tended to his wounds. Her forgivingness made Sasuke feel like the biggest jerk alive, but at least not the biggest jerk around; that one was sitting inside what looked like a giant roll of toilet paper and raged like the lunatic he was.

"That crest on your back,"

Sasuke looked over his shoulder to see the Suna-nin point at the red and white fan on the back of his pullover.

"And that technique you used… Are you Uchiha Sasuke?"

"What if I am?" Sasuke asked. His face was a blank mask that revealed no thought cruising through his mind, but his attitude was guarded. The Suna-nin on the other hand looked decidedly nervous.

"You are reported to be missing. I'll have to ask you to accompany me back to headquarters," he said and Sasuke didn't miss the way his eyes always flickered back to where he had come from, surely waiting for the back-up squad he had mentioned before to appear.

"And what if I refuse?!"

"In that case I have no other choice-"

"Sasuke!" Karin screamed, as she sensed how the Suna-nin prepared to use a jutsu, but the moment his hand clutched the beginning of the remaining white cloth on his scroll, it was as though something struck him and he became unnaturally stiff with both his arms pressed tightly against his sides and his eyes opened wide. In them she could see the blood red reflection of the Sharingan.

"Phew," Karin heaved a relieved sigh. She's had enough of confrontations for today. Dealing with this man would have been no great difficulty, but this was surely the nicer way of handling things…

With slow steps, Sasuke approached the hypnotised man, who had only seconds ago saved their lives. Sayuri watched him with a disapproving expression on her face. She didn't like the fact that he was using his Dôjutsu again, when he hadn't even recovered yet from the previous fight. But she thought it best not to share her opinion on that matter.

When only another step separated the Uchiha from the Suna-nin he halted. The three black tomoe in each of his eyes began swirling like a wheel and within seconds Sasuke's Genjutsu had broken the will of his victim, giving the Uchiha free access to every thought running through his head. He extracted every bit of information about this war and the current situation and then said, "You've never seen us. You fought against Deidara and managed to seal him, though you don't remember how." He closed his eyes and opened them again with their usual black colour. Some life returned into the face of his opposite, but before he could get a clear head again, Sasuke gave him a blow to his right temple. The man collapsed like a marionette that had its wires cut and was left lying on the ground with open eyes and a trail of saliva running out of his parted lips.

"Oh!" Sayuri gasped and clasped her hands before her mouth to stifle any further sound. The shocked look in her widened eyes spoke volumes anyhow.

"We should leave," Sasuke stated. From what he had learned, the Suna-nin was only a scout– the rest of his squad would follow soon, so they had better be gone before that.

As Sasuke started walking, Sayuri asked, "But what about him?" she looked down at the allied-ninja with a commiserative expression. It didn't seem right to abandon someone who just saved you in such a condition.

"Help is on the way. We have no time to waste."

"But-"

"-This is no game," Sasuke cut in, "If you don't like it you should have stayed away." He said and started walking.

"Huh," Karin gave a consenting sound and followed after the Uchiha and with a bit of an effort, hurt feelings and a mighty guilty conscience, Sayuri detached her eyes from the unconscious man as well and made haste to catch up to them. It didn't even take ten minutes until Karin stopped them again, having the weirdest of feelings.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, but Karin only furrowed her brows and raised her hand to silence him as she was trying to concentrate. "There's someone there. I know the chakra, but… it's not just one… it's… it's…" she stammered as she was trying to arrange her thoughts, when suddenly things became crystal clear. Her red eyes flew open. "There!" She pointed towards the edge of the cliff above them, where an elderly man with a wooden walking stick was standing. Despite only seeing a shady silhouette, Sasuke at once knew who it was: Shimura Danzô!

Things were getting worse and worse…

* * *

><p>"<em>Up already?" Isamu asked, as he crawled out of the tiny tent he was sharing with Senkai. They had left the other one to her.<em>

"_Hm…" she nodded and stared through red-rimmed eyes at a turquoise firefly, climbing over moist leaves._

"_You don't look all that awake yet…" _

_He scratched the back of his head and walked closer to the small girl, but she wouldn't make room on the tree trunk she was sitting on._

"_Can we go now?"_

"_Why the hurry?" he laughed, always in that light-hearted manner – he didn't appear much like a proper criminal to her. "It's not like we have any appointments, or do you? Is there… anyone… waiting for you?" _

_He watched her stealthily, but she still stared vacant-eyed at the moving spot of light._

"_Where is Senkai?"_

_Isamu grimaced as she just changed the topic, the way she always did whenever the talk came to herself, but then a more serious expression appeared on his face and he slumped down on the ground, not minding that it was moist._

"_Today is not a good day," he sighed, "we'll need to stay here a little longer." _

_She nodded mutely, not really interested in learning the reason for their extended stay; knowing it wouldn't change anything about the fact that they had to do so, so why bother?_

"_But I'd say it's rather nice here, too, isn't it?"_

"_Hm," she shrugged and for the next few minutes she focused her full attention on the light bug again, acting like she was all alone._

"_It's female."_

"_Huh?"_

"_The firefly. The male ones usually fly around and search the air for their missing piece, while the female ones stay on the ground and wait to finally be found. Stupid isn't it?"_

"_It's the colour of your eyes…"_

"_Huh?" he seemed somewhat surprised, before a smug smile settled on his lips. "How come you know my eye-colour? You never really looked into my face yet… are you maybe watching me secretly?"_

"_Why would I do that?"_

"_Well, why wouldn't you? I don't want to sound conceited, but… I'm a pretty handsome guy. No wonder you're always so shy with me around," he grinned while all Yuumei did was snort. "But nevermind, you're not that bad either. I mean if it wasn't for your looks, we probably wouldn't bother to keep you around, rude as you are…"_

"…"

"_Hey, that was a joke. But you really are… quite alright or you would be when you wouldn't look so grim all the time and you should really work on your attitude, seriously. How about giving me a smile, Yuu-mei? Yuumei, Yuumei, Yuumei – that's a nice name."_

"_Flattery is only deceit; for people who have entered the Way it has no use."_

"_That weird talk again… It's okay if you don't want to smile. I guess everyone has their own way to deal with what happened in these laboratories. You brood, I laugh and Senkai is trying to get it out of his system."_

_In that moment, an anguished groan came out of the tent and something about the air seemed to change. She wondered how literal he had been when he talked about 'getting it out of his system'. She had noticed before that something with the blonde was not quite right._

…

…


End file.
